What are some of the best out-of-context quotes from your campaigns? #2

What are some of the best out-of-context quotes from your campaigns? #2
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D&D players, what way did you use a "useless" spell in a good way? #2
D&D Players, What was your best "Wait...what?!" moment?
What's the biggest mind-f**k you've seen during a DND campaign?
What's your worst loot stories?
What's the saddest death that you have ever encountered while playing D&D?
What's the funniest way you spoiled a important plot element in your campaign?
DND players, what was your funniest “rolled a 1” moment?
DMs, What is a plotline you've always wanted to run?
Ever had another PC kill your character?
DND Players, What is the coolest character you have ever played?
DND players, what was your funniest “nat 20” moment? (r/askreddit)
DND players, what’s your best Stories of Rope? (r/dndstories)
D&D Players, what's the most screwed up thing you've ever done in a game?
What's the worst TPK you've experienced?
D&D Players, what's the most screwed up thing you've ever done in a game?
DND Nope Moments #1
What’s your best Tarrasque story?
What's the funniest thing PC's latched onto?
What is the most unexpected damage you've ever done as a PC or DM?
What is the smallest way your DM has driven home how "evil" a villain is?

[@ala5530]

"Crying is a Free Action" "Don't set fire to the church! I'm a literal fiend from hell an even I know that's a bad idea!" "Oh crap, I'm legally responsible for *his* behaviour?" 'Well, you *are* a cleric, and the only responsible adult who hasn't said "not it"...' "Good news- your act of vehicular terrorism has not caused an international incident"

[@gungamegeneral3892]

"You summoned a duck from the space between realities."

[@aiodensghost8645]

Plot twist: the duck professes to be a death god and then enters combat with reckless abandon only for the enemy to snap its neck

[@puglife658]

“I roll to disassociate myself with him” I personally think the context for this is funnier but it’s good by itself too

[@matthewlabodin3981]

"Ah yes, hippies, classic villains" "First things first, I use my bonus action to stress vomit." "This is like D-day but for wolves" "I am the strongest one here and that's sad."

[@hushbolman]

"I want to roll to pray for a piece of lettuce to appear." "Just lettuce?" "Just lettuce." "Alright, uhh, just roll a d20." "...I rolled a nat 1." "..." "..." "You start getting rained upon by cabbage." "Can I pray to my god to get rid of them?" "You no longer have a god. There's only cabbage."

[@aiodensghost8645]

*Shrubbery!*

[@thedyingmeme6]

"You no longer have a god. There is only cabbage." THAT IS SIMULTANEOUSLY TERRIFYING AND HILARIOUS

[@inkdragoon4547]

@@aiodensghost8645 Ni!

[@oldsoldier4209]

“That wasn’t MY axe. Mine’s right here.” “While we wait out the storm, I have a puzzle we can solve. How far can gale force winds push a levitated gnome?”

[@ConnellxSilverfur]

So our party has an elf girl who enjoys reading poetry to trees and can sense whether they're happy or not. My character, a barbarian, gives her a wooden dagger to train with and protect herself: DM: "You gave her something that won't protect her from anything but vampires!" Elf girl: "Is it sad wood or happy wood?" Party member 3: "So she whips out her happy wood..." DM: "Yes, she has a happy woody."

[@WandereroftheLabyrinth]

"As you can see your Honour, Santa cannot be infringing on his copyright, as the patent won't exist for another 300 years. Therefore, these werewolves cannot sue him."

[@GZilla311]

I request the context for this, please.

[@Ryan-ti4yv]

My personal favorite: "Sigh, they always said that junk food was bad for you. I guess that leaves us with canabalism."

[@benjieroberts6732]

Our Tabaxi saying he "will blow all 50,000 Leonin... (much too long of a pause) away" "we eat the chickens once they are too fat to deliver messages"

[@excessivepotato137]

"SEND IN THE GNOME!!" "I didn't want to be the one to ask this, but... what's a carpet?"

[@fiascothe63rd]

I have a few: “You’ve taken 6 points of goose damage, what’s your course of action?” “Roll for the whole damn boat not exploding” “I put her slumped over the table and order more wine” “I test how flammable the jam is” “Guys, is it a bad idea to punt this fricking gnome into the sea? Because I really want to” “Old front door is boring, we’re going out the new front door instead” “Do you think the guards would believe I’m your crazy aunt?” And my favorite “Any sign of homeless men with smoke bombs? No? Just checking”

[@professionalyusukesimp]

DM: “I have a bunch of ideas for little favours your patron will ask you to do.” 2 seconds later: “WAIT NOT THOSE KINDS OF FAVOURS”

[@HelloIAmHuman69]

Im late, but context?

[@Darkclone]

"don't investigate the water with your face"

[@element4055]

"I want a bunny just like my aunt!" "So, you pay 5 gold for 2 rooms for your slaves." "How does necrosis taste, I wonder." "So you go and talk to your slaves." -DM "Freedomly Challenged people." -Player "If we are discovered, I left an earth elemental in the toilet." "I am placing this bag on the ground. I need you to get into it." "I have found my weakness! people who sweat weird stuff!" "No middle finger for you!" "Why is the Paladin microwaving a stuffed sloth?" "Cult of the white dragon killed by a Karen... we are not sure which one is more evil." "No healing on the battlefield!"

[@marcusreading3783]

Might have already posted these, but still gonna do it. "If this goes any further we'll have to be called the Simpsons" "There are two things you can use to catch the party's attention. Meat, and Meat."

[@MHWorldManWithFish]

"I hit him over the head with my holy cross" The Cleric proceeds to roll a crit and knocks two party members out to stop them from fighting one another. He then casts spare the dying on both, and leaves them there, unconscious.

[@raywhitmire2738]

"I chug the ENTIRE barrel of gravy." "So you stick your head out the port hole just in time to let out a belch so massive, a nearby whale mistakes it for a mating call and surfaces to answer."

[@THEstillinprogress]

“You’re not my father” “I’m literally your father” *7 solid seconds of incoherent stuttering*

[@Atalas5]

"Elephants are people." - said long before Loxodon were made; also, said in a voice as if conveying the secrets of the universe

[@bigfatcarp93]

Was this campaign in the seventies? Loxo are an old-school D&D creature

[@Atalas5]

@@bigfatcarp93 ok, meant before they came to 5e then

[@maxmcloughlin46]

"A sexy insect. Like, you know, you've seen a bug's life" - Me, trying to convince a party member to disguise themself as an insectoid succubus to lure an ice devil into a trap

[@dandyboio2865]

"your my friend now" - my monk picking up and walking away with a Dullahan trapped in a bead of force "Dany! Stop stealing people!" - the paladin yelling at my monk

[@jdat6960]

The dm "You're weasel suffered through visions of political speeches for what seemed like days to them" Me thirty seconds later " I sacrifice the weasel to the rune of fire" Not my rapier again!

[@juliagoodwin9510]

From my old Pathfinder campaign: "Goddamnit, Apollo!" -Practically our Ratman's catchphrase after the gunslinger did anything stupid

[@JamesWilliams-rp4ll]

'Splatoon, drop the man.' 'Cut the crap, Squid Game.' 'I got vored AND stepped on.' 'I've run out of beef jerky!' 'Why are you taking off your clothes??? This is a library!' 'This is very unswag.' 'We've got to kill the innocent girl.' 'Santa, this is tiefling racism.' (After the session was over): 'Oh, my dead grandma just gave me £30!' 'I thlammed my penith in the car door.' 'Don't cream your pants too fast, tall, dark, and dipshit!' 'SLATE!!!' 'Everyone loves me, everyone knows me. Do you know who I am?' 'No.' 'WHAT?!' 'This thing's called a gorth, right? Shouldn't we call a fat one a girth?' 'She descends upon this scene of destruction with a pina colada.' 'I play chess for a magical time stone and a broken skateboard.' 'Begone...THOT!!!' 'Can I throw my ball bearings?' 'And thus I name the first episode of Season 2 Critical Mole.' 'Aww, isn't this massive titanic monster of destruction cute? Let's call him Scoob.' 'IT'S DORIAN! HE'S GOING TO SING RASPUTIN AGAIN!' 'You robbed the temple of Moradin, what did you expect?' 'Sooooo...I may have no soul.' 'There are many many many creatures penned up in cages lining the walls of the vault.' 'Is there a platypus in there?' 'Yes, and he shares the cell with a man in a white lab coat.'

[@MasterZebulin]

Waaaaiiitt....that last one...

[@JamesWilliams-rp4ll]

@@MasterZebulin BEHOLD MY NEW EVIL SCHEME

[@MasterZebulin]

@@JamesWilliams-rp4ll Doofenshmirtz!

[@GymbalLock]

"She doesn't want a lot for Christmas... All she wants in him."

[@Spoofopolis]

"But can your rock do this?" Proceeds to put had through illusory rock

[@JPSalentine]

"I rolled a nat 20 to eat the body" - fairy wizard "hey wait where are my sandwiches?!" - Leonin samurai shouting at a Beholder after the tattoo expo "Can anyone cast speak with dead? Seems like that would be easier" tortle ranger "You cut the shit out of that wind" npc to the party

[@magenstaffarts]

And from my Thursday game that I DM: DM (Me): "Verdure Hockey League, let's go!" Asteria: "So can I buy something for exactly 570 gold?" DM (Me): "Sure! [Pause.] Waaaaaaaaaaait." Asteria: "My gold's blazin' it now." Asteria: "But how many licks DOES it take to get to the center of a Veritas' True-Sweet Lollipop?" Owl Pirate Captain lady NPC: "Let's find out. A-one, a-two-hoo, a-three. [chomp] Three." Museum Guard NPC: "So uh, yeah, my, uh, buddies told me theories." Lia: "...do the wax statues talk to you at night?" Museum Guard NPC: "Yeah."

[@StellarTempest]

“Sanctified dice, used to cheat people out of their money. Exactly as the Lord intended." “I’m not your mother.” “And I’m thankful for that.”

[@thecloverdreamilost5364]

“Put his head in the bag with the others.” “I use Wind Boxing!” “So I buy all the glitter in the store!” “Sparky died agaaain.” “You’re now Jimmy.” “I didn’t expect him to JUMP THE WALL!” “You don’t know what the mystery man is doing.” (Note this was said during combat) “I wouldn’t have smoked it if I knew THAT was in it!”

[@sarunokoguard211]

DM- "Hes a man of average height, and average attractiveness." Me (A squishy Vampire Spellcaster)- Ok, so, to avoid biting the Paladin again, I'm going to take a swig from my wine skin full of dragon's blood to heal. DM- As you poured this fine Elvin Scotch in Uncle Jacob's mouth, it falls right through the base of his skull and to the floor. Wild Magic Sorcerer- Can I roll to catch it as it pours? Dm- *sighs* Go ahead Me- I forgot he was a skull. Wild Magic Sorcerer- "DoN't DeAd OpEn InSiDe!" Paladin- "Normally I'm not that evil, but until I've had my morning coffee, I am very evil." Barbarian- DIBS ON THE EVIL VAMPIRE MACE! Paladin- Since my Longsword adapts to its environment, and my helmet is on fire, can I bonk myself in the head with the sword to make it a flaming sword to deal extra damage to the Ice Golem? Me- Can I use my Spiritual Song ability to alert any nearby party members to my location? Me- Can I spiderman climb my way down the church's steeple to sneak in and talk to the priestess? I dont want to be cursed to be distracted by squirrels for the rest of the campaign. Wizard- Can I use Dancing Lights to scare away the angry mob by making the lights look like Will O' Whisps? Me- "Ok, I've had MORE than enough shenanigans for one day. I'M CASTING JUDGEMENT!" Edit- This was not a Curse of Strahd campaign, it was a homebrewed campaign by the DM several years ago. I was using Dhampir from Unearthed Arcana and running a homwbrewed spellcaster that focussed on chaneling spirits into weaponry and other equipment.

[@marymcallister7963]

Me: "I open the door." DM: Strahd whips his head around as he locks eyes onto you and says "Ah... Perfect... I was getting hungry." Me: "... I close the door."

[@AverageDunce]

No offense, but we dont need to hear you're a squishy vampire everytime you say your line

[@sarunokoguard211]

@@AverageDunce yeah, I realize that now. I was primarily doing that to emphasize that it was all the same campaign.

[@AverageDunce]

@@sarunokoguard211 lol

[@Scipio441]

*Paladin arrives late to the fight*: "why does the Door have an Initiative?" *Sorcerer looks at me*: "i use prestidigitation to heat up his eyeballs....how many times do I have to recast it to boil his eyes?"

[@wolvo5441]

“Pineapple!” It was the code word used for scorched earth kill everything in x radius lol We also took over an empire (long story) and brokered a peace with another one under “the pineapple treaty”

[@levisallade1976]

Already had the full story on the channel, but it also fits for strange out of context quotes. "I would like to buy a child!"

[@magenstaffarts]

From the secondary Friday game: Capernicus: "There's my himbos!" Shardan: "I'm more of a twink myself." Capernicus: "How in the hell did you three get lost in a forest together?" Shardan: "I'unno bout them but I was following what I thought were your hoofprints." Troy: "I was just following him." Ta'Sta: "I think the lesson is never follow Shardan." Shardan: "Well, that's one way to figure out that's an illusion." Shardan: "Wait you snort drugs??" Camp Director NPC: "Yeah well yer uncle sold me the drugs." Shardan: "Must've been Uncle Cordy, Uncle Lancey don't do that shit."

[@Demonchild-ru9dj]

“Uhh pee on me quick!” “The spiders managed to crawl on the barbarians peen” My second dnd game, the dm threw spiders all over me and told me I had to find a way to wash them off, and being unaware I had a water pouch, or that I could just squish them told the barbarian to wash them off

[@JacobL228]

This would be great if you didn't provide context like you were supposed to.

[@scoots291]

Pc:I flip him off as I fall in the water. Gm: you mean you do flips and shit into the water? Pc:did I studder?

[@bigfatcarp93]

"THE WORM IS NEKKYD!!!" -A Goliath Paladin with tears streaming down his face, having just killed several town guards

[@centric3125]

I don't think that made sense even in context, frankly.

[@bigfatcarp93]

@@centric3125 Well I haven't given the full context to be fair. The short version is he thought a purple worm should have had a hat.

[@centric3125]

@@bigfatcarp93 uh... is INT one of his low stats? Because that sounds... unusual. Certainly in regards to killing town guards....

[@bigfatcarp93]

@@centric3125 Okay, so here's the story. We were stuck in a desert town where there was a timeloop. Every hour, everything would reset to when we first entered the town and encountered the sheriff (who had a big traditional sheriff hat. I dedicated myself to stealing his hat in each loop). After a few loops, we figured out that the sheriff was partially responsible. Down in the mines below the town, he had a passage guarded by a purple worm we believed to be his pet. When I found this out during recon, the Paladin asked in passing, just to be funny, if the worm had a matching hat, which it did not. A few more loops in, we were all going a little crazy. The paladin finally went nuts from all the repetition and started killing guards on a tear-soaked rampage. It was fine, time would loop anyway and the guards would live, but they didn't know that. The guards desperately tried to reason with the paladin, who was just blubbering about the worm not having a hat. When one of the guards insisted, "I'm just tryin' to help you, son!" The paladin screamed out "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, THE WORM IS NEKKYD!!!!"

[@centric3125]

@@bigfatcarp93 ok, NOW I get the picture. So the paladin is having a mental breakdown and is referring to a detail that he asked about as an attempt to cling to sanity. I take it as a Paladin he was good and thus wasn't exactly fond of just killing people, hence the tears. That turns this from confusingly funny to strangely sad. A good guy broke bad due to timey-wimey shenanigans. Did he recover after you managed to get time going right again?

[@ammarose9742]

"Congratulations you have an army of zombie Gnomes following you."

[@MsFox-eq3kq]

Warlock: it's dangerous here take a baby Rogue: where did u get that and where were u hiding it? 😳 Warlock: don't ask stupid questions

[@Taylor-kd9ld]

"WHY DOES THE GOOSE HAVE A CULT FOLLOWING?!" "Do you not worship our feathery God?"

[@hydrator4216]

Me (DM) to the party - "10 damage, one for each inch" "I also have silken rope, but that's for more 'personal' matters."

[@AmazingMezmer]

"Gorg get Doorg" "We're kicking the dice bot out, it's cursed" "We've been arguing about moss for two hours" "We were so obsessed with the moss the DM had to create a new mini-dungeon" "We need the entire party to read this book" "Get the meat" "Do you want to eat the burrito?" "Roll an intimidation saving-check" "Can we have that in Gorg?" "What if we cast fly on the meat?" (note: the flying meat did work) "Oh shit it's Gay sand" "3 people got vored, that's a new record" "They made an agreement that Gorg is an idiot" "It's an unarmed strike of affection" "I'M JUST A DUDE!" "Do you know what a Betta Fish is?" "No, are they different from Alpha Fish?" "I imagine Cyrus staring like a pokemon protagonist" "It's like team rocket "blasting off again" except slower"

[@Cheater5445]

"Its my Dream to get slapped by tentacles creatures" "There are 3 things that are certain" "The 1st being that there are an infinite crystal spheres" "The 2nd being the stupidity of humanoids" "The 3rd being that Nathaniel always wins against Taleiya" "I cast Mage Hand" Mage Hand disperses passing through an anti-magic field. "I use hands." "Only I get to hit my wife, thank you very much"

[@Millaninja06]

Cleric: Your Pumpkins are a Lie Warlock: I feel like right now I could just pick up a rock and throw it at someone, and they'd turn around and ask us to do a job for them...

[@saber5694]

Said in a very serious tone "Nothing excessively lewd happened"

[@dude8351]

"How much can horses consent?" Asked about a spell that targets only consenting allies

[@burntoutidiot4669]

"There are no people, just walking baskets" "Trust me, I'm an Arsonist!" "I have been stabed 5 times now! One was even intentional!" "Throw a Flashbang at me" "I think a double nat 20 works no matter how much blood you wear"

[@lochthefox6397]

Player 1) Head? Player 2) Sure. What I thought was a proposition between two guys turned out to be them discussing the layout of a temple that looked like a warhammer.

[@oddangelx4420]

"Wait- so there's a shark standing on my head?" (D8, which is like improv dnd but with no stats or rules) "I want to summon a therapist for the dinosaur" GM:"It's William Afton. WAIT NO- it's Micheal Afton and he's now arguing with Jack Skellington" (D8) "Wait so I have an approximately 5ft tall land shark in diamond minecraft horse armor? Awesome"

[@williambarden8593]

“It’s not a knife, it’s a dagger” and “stealth doesn’t affect sheer fucking coincidence”. Are some from two sessions ago. My group’s has a channel in discord specifically for quotes so we can take them out of context later.

[@dwarvenpony120]

"Such a polite people, dwarves." "I hear they're short."

[@joefish6700]

“And that’s how I became A GOD”

[@privatizitat815]

"I don't wanna keep laying with this thing" "Why? It's helpless."

[@abadidea5984]

My Hunter: the Vigil group kept a regular log of all the bullshit we say. My personal favorite from the DM was: "I was so ready for y'all to fight that desk."

[@martymcloud1908]

All of this happened in our "Out of the Abyss" campaign "I can't sell my grandma for weed, if i do that my uncle will try to trade my weed for a grandma!" After almost crashing the boat thanks to some very unfortunate rolls "Captain! What do we do now?" 'No worries, Ulthane! Now YOU'RE THE *CAPTAIN*' "Sweet!" While i was trying to stop a fight from ocurring against the guardians of a village by making one npc from the village speak The Barbarian (that almost crashed a boat): i roll to attack with my axe DM: wich one of your axes? B: the adamant one. *rolls* F°ck yeahhh! Nat 20! Me: oh no B: also i will do a reckless attack Me: NOOO B: and why not, I'll use one of my magic pendant's charges to cast fireball Me, now with 1 insanity point irl: NO SHIT SHERLOCK, YOU KILLED STOOL'S PARENTS When the party's kobold was talking about the "weird shit" that one of the other party member liked: "Oh, no, Zumy, you have to understand that you're unique in your own way, you're not a 'weird shit'!" "Wait, I'm non-binary because I'm a Warforged and therefore i don't have any reproductive organs, but at the same time I'm binary because i work mostly with code instead of magic... OH GOD I CREATED A PARADO-" proceeds to take 32 psychic damage

[@crystallineAurora]

DM: "The only thing you find is a pile of dust bunnies" Player: "Oh shit, fuck- I draw my battleaxe and attack them"

[@GymbalLock]

"I'm not doing too well. I have this headache that comes and goes." NPC walks into the room "Oh look, there it is again."

[@1Ring42]

"We don't talk about our war crimes." "Who said you could leave the wall?" (in an Irish accent)"WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE CREATURES O THE NIGHT NOT HANNIBAL FECKING LECTER" (Same accent) "All the creatures o the forest heed the fae!" "Congratulations, you barely beat a child." "I hit the orb and book it for the nearest tunnel, simultaneously distracting Uriel and inventing baseball." "My squad got napalmed so I got reassigned here." "I can talk my way out of most My problems and nuke my way out of the rest." Oh no they think with their spells.

[@kaseymathew1893]

"Dude got his ass banished to a pocket dimension. He can't give us shit!"

[@NoraMakesSounds]

Always a pleasure to hear your voice Dave.

[@davemakesnoises]

Thank you friend 😘

[@cyberhawk4284]

"It's gonna take more than bananas and yak piss to fix that"

[@johnniefinney3266]

I'm so glad Dave makes noises has got a video I can watch

[@sabliath9148]

"The soup's not great, and it's not terrible, it's just sort of... OK Soup" "Oh bloody 'ell! I can talk!" said the Dimetrodon. "Somehow due to the potion residue in the old bottle you used, the alcohol you poured in has been converted into Alchemist's Fire"

[@sarry419]

"No no no, those are goblin coffins."

[@sparkselm173]

"I cast mending on his bone." Pretty sure that guy can no longer walk...

[@thegamerkitsunestudios140]

Them “is this how u collect taxes” Me “because this way is highly unofadox”

[@zetkey9637]

"Child is one-handed weapon" No comments

[@variantmouse3751]

PC: I hit him with my axe! Me, DM: Ok, roll PC: *Crits* Me: Ok. you chop his head clean off. PC: Oh, I meant non-lethally. Me: Welp. It wasn't.

[@IaeyanElyuex]

"Do you have wafers?" "I throw my poop at the rat."

[@darienb1127]

So this is from back when I played in Adventurer's League, and we over heard this from the other table. "David Hasslehoff!" (5 seconds later) "Dear god, it's a face hugger!"

[@Transubstantiate]

"This fish is fishier than the fish where I come from." From the same player, in an incredibly dramatic tone of voice: "Would you like some... PAINT?!"

[@bryanaughal261]

Rogue: "This is defamation and character assassination and I will not stand for this oppression." "*warlock ranting about how ugly the guy in the guardian portrait is*" Wizard: "By the Gods, or whatever." Monk: "I am the silliest of billies." Druid: "Are you one of those people I read about? A masochist?" Death Domain Cleric: "Surprisingly no, but I can see why you'd think that." These are taken from different points over two campaigns. We have plenty of fun moments together :)

[@kayq3231]

"And thanks to a series of unfortunate events, I am now bioluminescent!"

[@kevinskinner4986]

:Why is the giant glowing monster with the face of All Might most subtle member of our party?" "But can we make a Worm That Walks out of carbuncles?" "Fluffy Voltron will not help you." "I am not a war criminal. I was acquitted." "Three words: ghost touch lava". "I would just like to point out that the lesson of this adventure has been that long cat is in fact long." "The Great Potoo looks into Reese's face, one eye staring unblinking while the other spins like a tumble drier"

[@Mareoandanime]

"Ragnak, go scout out, I'm busy building a raft out of a dead alligator." "All swallows have a rupture value." "I'm feeling angry, blessed and windy!!" "No-one likes it when the healer gets put in the cube." "GUG? GUG!! GUG!!"

[@PantherCat64]

I feel proud to hear my quotes out of context, it took me a re watch to realized what they were. I only recognized them with my bad grammar. I'm now happy.

[@roary1122]

"Ancestors give me strength" proceeds to swing axe at black hole

[@nickbeaulieu9546]

“If don’t come out with the bounty money, you perform the chef special”

[@DioBrando-fi7vv]

As a healing word "be better" 2 minutes later as a viscous mockery "be better"

[@onesimuslaraway8862]

During a campaign the rogue of our party started beef with a wise sphinx because the sphinx called him uneducated for failing several riddles. To which my rogue decided to strip down and stare naked into the face of the sphinx as some kind of power move. Our fighter had just recently received a cursed ring that causes necrotic damage for wearing it and decided he was better off trying to throw it onto the rogues... member, Nat 20 success from 10 feet away. Let's just say the rogue failed his strength save to remove the ring

[@mavenmargaret8259]

"Who needs Eldritch Blast when you have Eldritch Bonk?"

[@kevinskinner4986]

"It's all fun and games until the skies start singing in Latin"

[@professionalyusukesimp]

“Well you did turn them on, but they were on against you”

[@PantherCat64]

"Okay, you lie on the mash potatoes...Again. The guy gets up from his seat, goes 'Ugh!" before storming out of the tavern... Again."

[@Ultrafireblast]

The dragonborn fighter after accidentally seducing a cross dresser "it's not gay if I don't remember"

[@TelikiMouse]

Don't worry my friend I can get us out of here. After all this isn't the first time I ended up in a dark and mysterious room without any clothes on.

[@brettechols8121]

One of my all time favorite quotes from a game I was in * the cart salesmen looks shamefully at the ground and ask you all to leave after accepting your mage hand hand job and ask you all to leave and never return*

[@sethtruesdale1848]

"No you won't get cooked, you're the side salad" Sunlight tastes like strawberries... I assume, I've never had strawberries" "Ok how much has she set on fire this time" Everyone who sees his face roll a con save." Everyone who failed violently lost their lunch They'll really not that bad people if you're not trying to stab them

[@azurewraith2585]

"You built this mustache, it must have a weakness" "you have a tragic backstory, it's just tragic for everyone else" “The gun is also a baby”

[@Ilias2]

"And just like that, you're in debt."

[@kyo0grain]

"I can't make decisions, I'm a bottom!"

[@Aeonsteel]

"I HATE RAINBOWS" -A cyclops

[@epicmelonman]

a quote from quintin: "it wasn't a slur 2 years ago"

[@mikewithington4755]

Me "I roll to punch the ground" Dice role 16 Dm "you successfully punch the ground" Me "I do it again" Nat 1 Dm "you break your hand" Me "wierd"

[@AnekinRed]

“Wanna drink?” The context is fucking morbid and I’m never gonna look at that phrase the same

[@Socoolgirl94]

We have an entire bot for our whole campaign/Discord that among other things, we store out of context quotes in. Here's a handful: "The bird does not have proficiency with a Mahjong set." "The walruses are actually gamers, they're getting good." "I tie the oars together and make a very, very, very big nunchuck." "I think I'll go drink that slug." "How do I introduce myself to a plant that's trying to eat me?" "You are not proficient in pinata sticks." "It is completely slashed to salad, spider salad." "I'm glad I found a way to drag a soviet penguin into this."

[@flithbrin]

"I've been around long enough to know that if a book is talking to me it's best to not talk back" "Can I throw the gnome?"

[@YeetMaster5678]

Me: I'm going to throw my head through his chest Dm: roll Me: nat 20