What Can You Do if You Absolutely Can't Transition? Will You Just Go Mad?

[@ubgodinez]

Se tips I've been doing are: use transparent makeup for lashes, eye Browns and lips, use women underware, bralettes instead of brassieres, Sport and unisex for external Outfit. Meditation to cope with brain fog, mindfulness, Yoga, ballet, eating healthy, Walking at home and outside, learning about estoicism, practicing gratitude and be a woman in spirit, sound crasy but it can be possible. And listening smart people like Dr. Z.

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing what works for you. This are all def great options to get. you closer to yourself.

[@mpv9866]

Yes! And no, not crazy!! I do all these exact same things (and some others). Increased phytoestrogens in my diet, using supplements and creams (noticing some beautiful physiological and mental improvememts), growing my hair and nails out [again], painting my nails occasionally, wardrobe adjustments (and my viewpoint on clothes in general), and I am about to begin ipl hair removal. Thanks for sharing, alll the best on your journey! Soooo glad n grateful that none of my suicide attempts were successful!! Hopefully I am helping others at least a little bit in my process of finally helping my Self 🙏

[@darttidare5389]

I tell you, there was a short time I thought transitioning or even coming out wasn't going to be an option. But, it got to the point where I couldn't take it anymore. One morning, it got to a point where it just exploded. When they tell you it's "a choice", I laugh my ass off. I don't know how anyone can live with this, repressed. I sure couldn't. My heart goes out to any and all my trans siblings that are denied their truth. 💔

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing

[@davinamarshall2780]

My story is similar to yours. I repressed and suppressed until one day I couldn't any longer when the compulsion to emasculate myself became unbearable. For over 50 years I coped through booze and hard physical work because I believed as I got older the feelings would reduce and I would be fine. Unfortunately it doesn't work that way.

[@ragnorockcookie2868]

I learned to control that emotion by splitting my personality but believe me it's not the best option. I accepted my male self but if and when the time comes I'll be ready to transition

[@josephbelisle5792]

I can't tell you how much I agree with you. It's not a choice. Its not a passing fancy. It's not some childish wish. Sometimes at night I can feel my vulva and vagina. It's like my male parts don't exist and now my nerve endings are where they are supposed to be. I've had orgasms, full body orgasms with my imaginary parts. My brain sees them as real. As the way I am supposed to be. Its not a choice. No one would chose to be trans knowing how awful it feels to have the wrong body.

[@insidiousmischka]

So you lost control over your fetish? That sounds dangerous. To your environment.

[@gamewhipess]

Cis guy here. Not sure how I got here, but I gave it a listen. You are valid and despite the bigotry that's abundant in the world, just know that it's made better having you in it. If you can't transition, please look into some androgynous things you can do. Have a good day 🙂

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for support toward others.

[@gamewhipess]

@@DRZPHD what makes another person happy and comfortable in their own skin, is not mine to decide. I don't have to understand it to respect it. 🙂

[@BenjaminL.M]

really great to see some cis people being supportive of trans people. makes my day better

[@lastround2357]

If you're trans, you know that she's really concerned about trans people! I'm so glad glad i found her💓

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you. I love what I do and I can't imagine working with anyone else.

[@lastround2357]

@@DRZPHD you're helping a lot of us, and we're grateful for it. keep up the good work and I wish you the best💝

[@Shalanaya]

I'll share what helped me to cope with severe dysphoria for decades, for me it was definitely a spiritual path by shifting a focus on a higher planes of existence, by practicing meditation, astral travelling, lucid dreaming, out of body experiences, it helped me to take my mind from the physical realm towards more spiritual, I started water fasting for a month each year, which always helped me to cleanse my mind and bring about an absolute emptiness of mind for quite some time, and when dysphoria came back, I started fasting again. I know everyone experiences dysphoria differently and the intensity is different for everyone, but I believe it can be done. But I know my social life was absolutely non-existent, no lovers, partners, no real friends for most of my life, I always wanted to have real friends, but friendships reminded me how I am not truly seen, which made friendships deeply unfulfilling and frustrating.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing

[@AB_RetroSynth]

Everybody experiences being trans differently. I Identify as trans lesbian. Shaving my entire body smooth and using scented moisturizer helps me to feel like my body is soft and smooth like a woman. I also have a feminine eyebrow shape. Nobody has said anything to my face about my shaving my body and shaping my eyebrows. Some people in public have noticeably disapproved, but I must do it to feel connected to my female gender identity. I also paint my toe nails with my favorite colors, and my fingernails with clear polish. I don't feel comfortable wearing feminine clothes in public so I wear "butch" lesbian style androgynous female clothing. This gets me less negative attention from the general public and I get lots of winks from lesbians. I would like to get my ears pierced one day but I have to make sure my wife is cool with that. Other stuff that helps me feel less dysphoric in public is a beaded bracelet or 3 and an anklet. Necklace is optional. I don't look like a trans woman but I do look queer and very much like a male lesbian. This is the sweet spot for me. : ) When gender dysphoria hits me hard I have ultra feminine clothes I dress in at home in private.

[@DRZPHD]

Glad to hear you have things you engage in to help you during difficult times.

[@Kira-zm7vy]

I don't think not transitioning is an option for me any longer. I'm still extremely hesitant yet I am taking steps forward. I may be crazy thinking I can do this in the environment I'm in but I have to do it. Anyone else live in a conservative state with no LGBT protections for employment? How are you navigating your transition in a place like this? The fear of losing my job and the finances needed to do this is what stopping me the most.

[@DRZPHD]

My two cents is this: support support support. Reach out to local or even distant online support groups and organizations.

[@jwenting]

your best bet would be to move to another place where people are more accepting of you. And yes, that's a very big thing to do there and then, I know, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do. And I'm pretty sure there are protections that could be used. E.g. where I live there are no explicit protections based on being transgender, but there are protections against discrimination based on gender or sexual orientation (without naming any gender or sexual orientation explicitly) that would apply to transgender people as well (as long as being transgender is legally recognised as being something that exists, which it is here).

[@Kira-zm7vy]

@@jwenting I've considered it. Thought about Colorado. Not too far away from where I'm at now. I need to look into my company's policies as well. Maybe something in there that would help me. I work for a small company (there's 15 of us) hopefully that alone would be a benefit as I'm not just a number or a cog in a machine. Thank you for the advice.

[@Kira-zm7vy]

@@DRZPHD I really do have to. Only people I have to talk to about this are here on KZbin. Thank you

[@emilym2705]

I live in TX where there are no state employment protections but I am fortunate to work in a large corporation that is national and has anti discrimination policies. I would say do your homework by checking into your employers policies and whether the administration is transgender friendly or at least neutral to the issue. Hopefully you are not at a hostile employer but if so, realize there are friendly employers out there in even the most conservative states.

[@sams732]

I think it was a good answer... I agree, it is difficult when you can't transition. With me the issue isn't safety or resources, but time - I want to spend more time on my transition but I can't because of my work commitments, but at the same time work is becoming harder to focus on because I'm constantly thinking about my transition goals. It's manageable but just requires a bit of mental fortitude in the short term.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing.

[@Jodivalley]

Hi Dr. Z, Love you. Great topic. I have been unable to socially transition so I have done a few things that help give me some inner piece such as: shaving my legs, electrolysis to get rid of my beard, growing my hair longer with a woman's style and even taking hormones for the last 20 yrs. I can do all this and cover it as a guy through such things as slicking back my hair, wearing lose shirts to cover my breasts, never wearing shorts. It can still be struggle hiding and even more so having to live in the gender in contrast to my inner self but if I won't have taken these steps, I know I would have committed suicide. The biggest issue with hiding is that you don't allow yourself to get close to people in fear of them finding out. P.S. you have such beautiful face. Your hairstyle would be difficult for most people to pull off but it works spectacularly for you. You are my idol.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and thank you! I love my haircut!

[@RosheenQuynh]

Sent this to my friend, hopefully she watches this and eases her mind while she is forced to live in a transphobic-fueled prison of a home. Also, I think this was helpful even for someone like me who cannot transition due to there being no surgeries in existence that would help me obtain the gender I see myself as. It hurts but yeah, acceptance is HUGE. I am not really able to express it privately but at times, I can.

[@DRZPHD]

Its important to acknowledge what I call "the cards you were dealt" this life. Its not about fair. It just is and acceptance can help tremendously.

[@RosheenQuynh]

@@DRZPHD Yeah, that makes sense 🤔

[@sheep1ewe]

I hawe the same problem, that's why i can't realy come out IRL i think.

[@sheep1ewe]

I am very lucky to have a family that i think would accept it, but it's not possible in the time we are living now as far as i know since there are no known surgery to achieve that yet.

[@RosheenQuynh]

@@sheep1ewe Yikes, I'm sorry, man... What's your gender identity?

[@amandageorge9465]

I cant because of family and I have already built my life. So I underdress, dress when I am alone, and work thru it.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing

[@hogquaffer4741]

i can't transition for medical reasons. i've attempted medical transition twice, with two different regimens, and both times it nearly destroyed my body. my condition demands high T and low E, and it's very distressing, especially because I know that estrogen really helps my psychological state... I feel like an impostor around my trans friends who can transition. mmh....

[@DRZPHD]

I am so sorry to hear of your medical challenges.

[@hogquaffer4741]

@@DRZPHD I'm finding my way, but the idea of ''aging like a man'' is scary to me. when I'm treated in a manner that's consistent with my self-expression makes it feel way better, and that paired with staying fit and consciously avoiding masculine presentation makes me feel fantastic. being myself around people who i know understand my position makes everything feel good... seeing my comparatively rough hands, tough skin, and generally more masculine for next to trans women on hrt brings me dysphoria, but that's a feeling shared by trans women on hrt as well as cis women. it's funny; feeling the ''right'' kind of envy ends up being validating, and leaves me in a net positive position. when i know more about what makes me feel valid, i'll share. i know i'm not the only person in this position and I want to help.

[@Shalanaya]

@@hogquaffer4741 Can I ask what is your condition? I am asking whether there could be a way how to help you through some alternative natural medical practices. I know when I transitioned years ago, estrogen had damaged my intestines by weakening them, and they ended up sort of dilated, so I had to detransition, now 13 years later I am thinking about re-transitioning, giving it another attempt.

[@hogquaffer4741]

@@Shalanaya severe ehlers-danlos syndrome, mast-cell activation syndrome, and postural orthostatic tachycardia. just the right amounts of both to make the muscle wasting, tissue softening, and histaminergic effects of estrogen as critical and sensitive as they could be. it's probably just a very unfortunate coincidence rather than a single condition

[@foobar4137]

@hogquaffer4741 thank you for posting this. I have chronic eye pain from a seemingly incurable, bad case of dry eye disease, and my symptoms are linked to T levels because of oil production in the eyelids. I have been repressing for a lot longer than necessary because I am terrified of starting HRT and having to stop if my eye pain gets significantly worse. I plan on trying in the future but this has been difficult to cope with psychologically and I struggle with a lot of envy towards trans women who don't have these additional medical challenges. I know we don't have the same condition and obviously I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but somehow it helps to hear I'm not the only one struggling with preexisting medical issues that interfere with HRT. Neither my therapist nor the endo I saw has ever had a client in my situation.

[@Bitofa_nerd]

One of my friends transitioned from M2F. My town was very conservative back then, most went to Australia to transition in those days. The only trans woman in my town back then was often in the news because she was beaten up frequently. My friend could get hormones, though couldn't go outside in full Makeup or clothing so wore male clothing until her medications took effect. Then until she passed, she wore unisex clothing and hairstyles and bronzing powders until she went into the men's bathrooms one day at a restaurant and was told by other men that she's in the wrong bathroom the ladies is next door. In recent years she went to Thailand and had full sex reassignment surgery. Now you would never know that she is trans. She also used a book by makeup artist Kevyn Aucoin on how to do lookalike makeups. There's one where Kevyn makes a male model into Linda Evangelista. The skills she learnt from the book helped with her transformation. Sorry this is so long winded, though thought it may help someone.

[@justawatcher2023]

Thank you so much for your Videos! They're helping a lot 🙏 I'm a Trans man and had my coming out a year ago, i'm trans since i'm 10 y/o and had problems with my female body and voice my whole life. Last year i decided to medically transition but it ended with me not being able to 'cause of some chronical diseases i have + autoimmune diseases what makes a transition with hormones impossible for me. I was doing everything i can to finally medically transition and 3 weeks ago i needed to realize and accept that i'll never be able to do that. Well, it was hard in the beginning but i'm fine now, live my life as a man as happy as i can. I found some good ways for myself to cope with dysphoria. Luckily my chest is super small, i wear a sports bra and my chest is flat which makes a lot easier for me (it's so hard to get top surgery w/o taking hormones first). BUT I pass the most of the time only by having the right clothing, haircut and behavior, how i walk, talk and stuff like that (and i'm a short guy 1,44m which isn't common). I have a voice like a little Boy, deep for a AFAB which is good too, i did some voice lessonsto get a bit deeper. I stressed so much when it comes to passing and it makes my dysphoria worse. So i decided not to stress that much anymore. What i learned is: To accept who i am, the way i am. It's so important- also health always comes first! When you can't medically transition bc of health or other situations, don't give up on your happiness. You deserve to be happy and believe me. I'm happy too. I might not get a beard or deep voice but i'm not less trans or a man. I'm still a man, and i try to live the best life possible and comfy in my own skin. There are always ways, to deal with dysphoria, even when it's hard sometimes.

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing and I love how well you speak about acceptance. Acceptance is huge and very important.

[@josephbelisle5792]

One of the things I do that helps is to remind myself I know who I am. That I am right. How I feel is true. It may be wrong for others but for me, my true self, i feel the right way. Forget the world as much as you can and remember who you are. I know I am female. Ive explored my inner self and i am unified in knowing I am female.

[@SpaceWitch144]

You have strong will.

[@ubgodinez]

I forgot to mention faceapp's change gender functionality is great for visualization and make more gentle disphoric feelings.

[@DRZPHD]

I have seen face apps being very helpful too.

[@vulcanprincess1584]

in my experience yes i have mostly gone mad, i can't be myself ,i dont see myself in the mirror, i have so little confidence in my real self that my fake forcefully constructed self always takes over along with self numbing, i feel like that just leads to nobody beleiving me or in me, and i am so out of touch with myself and my emotions most of the time its depressing n painful. i have to close my eyes and use my imagination and not a day goes by i dont think about how i wouldve turned out withou twasted time and the wrong puberty

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing and I wish you all the best.

[@netzach21]

I'm in that same position. I can't transition and I'm not sure if I ever will. I cope with the feelings of dysphoria and sadness by doing art, I'm learning to draw and it helps me to channel some of those feelings. Also my pet, she's very loving and she helps me in ways I can't explain

[@DRZPHD]

Art is a great way to express yourself. Glad you are finding some outlets.

[@apocalypse12345]

THe same here ❤

[@CatrinaDaimonLee]

thank you very much for these kind and wise videos, dr z. i have repressed my real self for decades, came out in 2008m and went back in 'the closet' due to lack of housing, money, support... :( i am trying to slowly come out again at nearly 60 yrs old now...at least to myself. this life been pretty bad for me.

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing and I am sorry to hear of your struggles.

[@sams2960]

Every day we are given is a gift not to be wasted on things that are just unattainable. Tis what it is and some of us have been "trapped in the wrong body" as if given a life sentence. But that doesn't mean the end of life either, for to throw away the gift of life over something we cannot have is pure selfishness. So I enjoy each day, knowing who I am inside but others will never know. I live my "other side" in virtual worlds online, that helps "vent the pressure" more than one realizes. There is one dark side catch however: BEWARE ... if self satisfying yourself sexually as female, it can be very easy to treat yourself violently, in anger at the person inside that you know will never be able to "come out". So it is important to identify problem areas in your life where you can fall down the dark path very quickly .... and stay "in the light" and out of the darkness. Peace to all and stay happy.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing.

[@mpv9866]

Powerfully important comment! Thank you

[@K_LeShaeya]

If I can't transition, I see no point in living

[@Kira-zm7vy]

That's the point I'm at. The hardships transition may bring pale in comparison to existing like this (at least it seems that way in my head). Been leading a life of quiet desperation for too long

[@annakissed3226]

@@Kira-zm7vy I tried to leave you a long message of support but KZbin deleted it what I said. I'm sorry but KZbin is strongly heteronornative & is a poor place to meet your community. Suffice to say I transitioned 35+ years ago but I been open since I was at school in the late seventies. It can be done & I was 6 foot 4 and very very large.

[@Kira-zm7vy]

@@annakissed3226 yeah KZbin is terrible with censorship in comments. Thank you for the support, I need as much as I can get. Feel very isolated. I'm just under 6ft, have too much hair and my voice is so deep.

[@jop5851]

Kassandra, i hope you find a life line and can pull through the darkness. i guess there are a lot of cliches people throw around, i cling to the knowledge that i just don't know what tomorrow will bring, maybe the things we go through in life are a test or a way to build character i'm not smart enough to know these things i just hang on and hope, i watch channels like this hoping to find the answers to this particular part of my life i struggle with. we may have similar issues we have to deal with it's just how we see or feel it that's different i guess. please don't deprive someone the chance to recognize your true beauty it could be life changing for both of you. this video was hard for me to watch i'm in my early 60's and have had to battle this my whole life. in my mind i know i don't meet the societal measures of being male but i don't think in feminine ways either so i have constant doubts, there's just a small part of me separate from everything else that cries out to be free, to be me, to walk through life with the thoughts and feelings of a woman even if i'm the only one that can see it. i just want to embrace that inner beauty and finally find peace in my mind. i know i can never be a genetic woman probably not even passable as a transwoman but hopefully someday peace will come i pray the same for you

[@annakissed3226]

@tuli rz I didn't transition full time, but I told everyone I was transexual & I tried to get help to transition. But I was repeatedly stopped & threatened with encarceration in a psychiatric hospital if I tried to go full time. Back in the 80's the current TERF/GC view were the mainstream view of Feminism. I was constantly told I was raping women by my meer existance. I had no rights whatsoever. So I tried to get hormones, I tried everything I could because I was scared & nobody would help & everytine I tried people would regularly 'help me' by outing me both in real life & on line, to protect me from making a mistake I would regret. Part of the reason that everyone said I cannot be transexual is because I was attracted to women only (which remains true till this day) Even after I transitioned I was gang raped in the street in Broad daylight & despite telling the UK police moments after it happened, I was told that the Crown Prosecution Service would not prosecute, so there was no point in the police attempting an investigation. This changed in the early 2000's when we gained the rights we have now.

[@Kira-zm7vy]

Well. Turns out I might be screwed. Closest place for electrolysis is about 150 miles away, 2 1/2 hour drive. There are laser services here but laser isn't permanent and I've got some grays In my facial hair. To my understanding laser only works on dark hair. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. If I can't get my facial hair gone I might as well just drop the whole thing

[@DRZPHD]

Laser does work best on dark hair, it wont do anything to grey but if you have dark hair it will. I also observed many clients get permeant results with laser.

[@Kira-zm7vy]

@@DRZPHD Maybe do both? Start with laser and take care of grays with electrolysis. Much more research to do. Thank you

[@jwenting]

For me (as I've said before) transition is only partially possible, at least for the foreseeable future, because of the extreme waiting lists for transgender care in this country. So I make do with what I can in the meantime. Were feminine clothing and underwear, shave very frequently (my face often several times a day, rest of my body several times a week), got me an IPL machine, apply some light makeup, let my hair grow out, things like that. It's not perfect, but it keeps the dysphoria manageable for now. I pity those living in places where even those things aren't possible, I've lived without those for over a decade until I hit the breaking point where it was either do something about the dysphoria now or end up in a coffin within the space of a few weeks or less. Will you go mad without transitioning? I don't like that word "mad" as it's so often used as a deragatory term to describe anyone who's not "normal" and for transgender people just because we're transgender, and then as an excuse to lock those people into mental hospitals and drug them up permanently. But yes, you will start suffering from more and more anxiety, depression, burnouts, and other stress related conditions as a result of worsening dysphoria, until you hit that breaking point I hit earlier this year. Other transgender people I've talked with have similar stories.

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing. I dont like that word either.

[@Liyana_Is_Taken]

At some point you just get numb to it really. You just have to accept that you are seen through this avatar you can't change. It's painful as fuck and it always will be but you just have to get use to it and find happiness and hope in other things... Other than yourself...

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and I wish you all the best.

[@Tony-xs9qq]

I am not in a position to transition so hide my being transgender and try to cope with gender dysphoria. Taking low dose oestrogen so that I feel more feminine without actually being obvious to others is a great help. Also feel more settled and calm however by no means stops the dysphoria and inner turmoil. Dressing as female when in a safe environment and under dressing all help.

[@DRZPHD]

Wishing you all the best. Many do what they can in similar situations.

[@tremereowen]

I do engage in private feminization, I listen a lot to white noise, in an attempt to keep my mind as clear as possible. I always try to educate myself on the topic, sometimes I wear feminine underwear and I found a social network for CD and trans people where I go by my female name. Also, I try to avoid any romantic relations, this might be silly or coward, but it allows me to keep my conflicts within myself. Today, for example someone talked me about introducing some woman to me just fun (or a hookup) and my heart simply skipped a beat, because it scared me to death to ythink about start hiding before someone new, I mean, I'm not an orc, it is likely that I could have intimacy if I wanted, but if I am presented with a chance and don't take it I would eventually have to make up some excuse (better than usual) for that. It gets harder over time.

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing.

[@FrozEnbyWolf150]

For me the barrier isn't financial, or the lack of acceptance, or any medical reason. It's my new doctor arbitrarily deciding to subject me to watchful waiting, because she doesn't know me, and likely thinks I might regret it later. My previous doctor had already said I qualified for medical clearance for HRT, but he transferred me to one of his associates due to scheduling conflicts on his end. My new doctor said she would not approve, and deliberately postponed our next appointment. I cannot get through to the office at all, and they will not return any of my calls, as if they're purposely ignoring me and hoping I'll go away. I can't switch doctors at this point, because there's a very long waiting list for any kind of psychiatric provider, and I'd essentially have to start over. It's starting to look like it will never happen, at least not until hell freezes over. So perhaps I have to accept that it's simply never going to be an option.

[@DRZPHD]

Wishing you all the best.

[@SpaceWitch144]

Probably it would be better to move to other country.

[@davidbezer5011]

I have lots of dysphoria being a non binary AMAB (social transgender) person. I keep all my feminine clothing at my current GFS house as my family won't accept the "new me" especially the feminine me. So I dress up on all dates with GF unless she wants to. Also she has no issue with me acting dainty. I csn also dress feminine around certain friends and it has really helped me. To express day to day I stir up my emotions connection wise. I use my feelings with GF and certain groups where I can be both my masculine self or my feminine self. I have started to feel wondrous My spirit I have seen both with a feminine connection and masculine

[@acsweetham7558]

For me, self-knowledge is key. While I don’t face the difficulties that people in other parts of the world live with, you may still find that you are not as you would wish to be, no matter how hard you try. And unless you can accept yourself, you won’t be at all happy in your own skin. It’s one thing to reflect on how you feel about the changes you have made in your life when you have made changes, but another if you can’t do what you most desire. But while you maybe can’t ’suck it and see’, isn’t there power in being able to come out to yourself and say just to yourself, I am trans? Just as designers often construct mental prototypes before making something for real, it’s possible to ask yourself how you’d manage if things didn’t go great; rose-tinted glasses, while helping us to console ourselves over something we can’t have, don’t necessarily help us stay objective. If your greatest desire isn’t within reach, can anything else assure you that all is not lost? Sometimes, it’s better not to scratch itches, no matter how much you want to. It won’t be pain-free, but if you hang on in there, maybe other, more realizable, goals will occur to you?

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing.

[@dr.redphdleasurestudies.5399]

🤦I am going to have to write a book. There is just too much to share.🤷 Consider the possibility that you're a healthy response to a stressed population. That may be physiological, psychological, or both. In other words, rare and needed. From an evolutionary perspective our incongruences are the cure not the disease. I have worked from that perspective a long time and it's helped more than anything.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing.

[@brookerenee650]

I am in this situation, I guess. I say "I guess" because the barriers are self imposed. Simply it is my fear of change or fear of loss. That said, I have found no single magic bullet to alleviate my often crushing GD. What I do have are a bunch of little things that seem to help. I have a supportive spouse that understands my pain, she encourages me to have my moments to be Brooke. I am working on finding a sense of peace in "knowing" versus "presenting". I know that I am a woman and that is true regardless of how I look. This sense of knowing shapes how I move through the world. For instance, I embrace qualities of grace and compassion. I have taken steps to limit GD triggering items. For instance, I remove all body hair and keep my eye brows trimmed and shaped. I am very focused on my fitness to keep a trim physique. I will only wear women's undergarments. In the winter, I keep my toe nails painted. Finally, I am on a low dose of HRT to help the GD with limited physical changes. Does such a low dose of HRT make a difference? All I know is the act of taking estrogen and spiro is incredibly affirming and that is ultimately what matters.

[@DRZPHD]

Hi and thanks for sharing. Yes even a low dose has been observed to make a difference.

[@sunnydaystarrynight]

im 14 and i live in a very homophobic and transphobic house. i feel so helpless. i just started high school and ive known i was trans since 5th grade. i hate ppl who say its a choice bc i would NEVER do this willingly. im so scared God will hate me and i pray every night he kills me bc id rather die than be the trans freak in my family. i hate seeing the guys in my school just act like guys bc i know ill never get to experience that. im so trapped and i dont know what to do anymore. i love you dr z

[@SteveM-o2i]

How do I suppress these feelings and desires to become a female? I should have done something in my teens but kept holding it in for many different reasons , family, fear faith mostly. Here I am in my mid fifties and my body has developed more of a middle aged male appearance which disappoints me as a male and is even more of a problem if I wanted to try to transition now. I lost my full head of long hair by the time I was 30 so it been a long depressing life dealing with all the challenges that I would need to face if transitioning. So it might just be easier if I could somehow turn off these feelings. Can you help me please?

[@A.Silly.Toy.]

I wrap a pillow around my chest so I can suppress the dysphoria a little bit

[@DRZPHD]

I understand. One does best they can.

[@sofiasofalina6196]

Not many friends or very good friends close friends here but that who saved me is social media i have good friends there friends that understand me take care of me same friends like my self. I have try to hidden my self but much people know who i am now ther i live . I use always ladys underwear and pants and sweater never makeup . Good thing or bad thing i dont know . My life was not perfect before that not afther or. I think do what you want if that are guy things like fixing a car or what it is but that was save me mostly that was my good friends on social media.

[@DRZPHD]

Thank for sharing.

[@annakissed3226]

Fun. I left a long positive comment & KZbin deletes it for me!!

[@RosheenQuynh]

Hate that, ugh...

[@DRZPHD]

Arghhhhh that sucks. Wonder why that happened.

[@jwenting]

that's youtube for you. Probably some troll flagged it as "hate speech"

[@mpv9866]

Grrrr :(

[@apocalypse12345]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@johnq.public3302]

Thumbs down because this is in my recommended list. You are as God made you.

[@Shalanaya]

Tell that to babies born with two heads who need medical intervention. God made people intersex and transgender so they could be medically helped while in return helping the rest of the world to wake up to the complexity of biological sex and the uniquenss of who we are.

[@charleskesling4477]

Indeed