What Do Women Not Understand About Men? - Dry Creek Dewayne

[@ChrisWillx]

Hello you savages. Watch the full episode with Dewayne here - kzbin.info/www/bejne/j3ObnpRsm9KVZ6M Get a Free Gift, 5 Free Travel Packs, Free Liquid Vitamin D and more from AG1 at drinkag1.com/modernwisdom

[@brettoberry3586]

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them." ~Henry David Thoreau

[@Marking_The_Way]

Man, I hope I can help others with this issue 😢

[@haleytruslow7200]

My husband told me when we were dating that he just needs peace at home. We worked on it and built it for ourselves and now our home is exactly that- warm and peaceful ❤️ wouldn’t trade it for anything

[@Marking_The_Way]

😌😌🙌

[@bobbynole3735]

God bless you!

[@Rome_22]

You are an awesome woman! 🙏🏽

[@weareallinthis3668]

Period ❤️ love this for you guys.

[@cicin9313]

I dated a guy who made this same claim, but what he really meant was "I never want anything but positivity from you and to never bring up any issues." It led to a very tense environment & of course the relationship to end bc I was allowed no voice.

[@elizabethannegrey6285]

“Men are treated like defective women ...” What a profound statement.

[@niallfitzpatrick6568]

A valid one too...

[@superior-fk1zf]

I really appreciate him but I am not agreed with this statement . It is not necessary that everyone is same.

[@philrab]

That hit hard, and my wife started nodding at exactly that moment.

[@Detached4547]

@@superior-fk1zf men are trying to express there emotion but still have to be tone police by the women... the irony (men can express pain but have to becareful and express the right way so as not to harm women)

[@stevec3526]

The Red Pill men have been saying this for many years.

[@kaylac1993]

“They don’t need therapy the need gratitude” wow. This really made me think. Thank you so much for this conversation.

[@courtneytautges4997]

This is so helpful to hear. It took me 11 years to understand this in my husband! I’ve learned as a young wife to be as warm as I can towards him and intentionally make food that will fill up his soul. Home has to be a haven and it’s up to the wife to be the thermostat, her attitude makes a huge difference. A husband and wife can enjoy so much peace if they can enjoy the simple things together - but they have to choose contentment or it will dissolve into bitterness.

[@Earthmuffin78]

💯

[@krakkag]

God bless you

[@Suptski]

What a lovely picture of you two (I assume that's your husband). Quite heart-warming. It sounds cliché but food truly is the way to a man's heart and of course if it's made by a loving wife, that's a big reason as to why.

[@Marking_The_Way]

Wow, yes! The man can build a house but a woman makes it a home 🙂🙌

[@deadcarrot3437]

It seems fake that someone can have such a happy relationship

[@Heritagepostfarms]

Men are always told "understand your woman, they think differently than you". Great advice. But not once are women told "understand your man, they think differently than you." Men always have to cater to women, but it rarely goes the other way. Women need love, men need respect. Yet it's so hard to find a woman that understands that.

[@ClaireGreen-wd2gm]

Ya its hard to find a man that deserves respect. If you are a liar. No respect If you are able bodied but wont work. No respect. If you are an addict. Beer Weed Hard drugs Gambling Video games Corn No respect If youve been to prison for something you actually did No respect If you wont be faithful No respect

[@therapywithisabel]

As a Mother of a adolescent sons. We all need Love And Respect. When the respect is lacking, it's hard to feel loving. Do all men feel this way? Like they are unable to express themselves? Peace in the home is a team effort ❤

[@MrRushepoo]

@@Heritagepostfarms i like your comment except one part. God fearing basic Men are deserving of and need love as well. Respect, although important is essentially a subcategory of human expressions of love. Women absolutely dont deserve a higher degree of affection than a man. They both need love above all things in equal measure. love is acknowledging that a person matters to others without restraints. Radical women reject that notion with misandrous zeal and loathing self righteousness.

[@thinkbig5438]

I‘m not sure this is true. Teilen are taught from a young age to be empathethic. And surprisingly are still being taught how they should behave and look like to be attractive to men. I agree though, it’s not necessarily about a deeper understanding, but being more attractive.

[@ladyesther]

I agree women need love, but I also want to be respected and treated like what I have to say matters.

[@KathyWhitehead-qz1fh]

I am a female, was a Police Officer for 21 years and have PTSD. I cannot thank you enough for this post. it has opened my eyes to how much support my wonderful husband has given me. He has always been an excellent provider, but now I realise the emotional burdens he's been carrying, holding me up. I promise I am now more aware of what's in his head and I'll be there for him more. Thank you Chris and the Dry Creek Cowboy, you have truly opened my eyes

[@Sound7heWarCry]

Thank you for your service to the community. Sometimes working these tough jobs on the frontline can cause you to be hypervigilant, analytical, observant etc. and it throws your feminine energy off balance as it only thrives in emotional safety (environmental stability, consistent day to day life) But try not to neglect your connection and emotional availability to those closest to you. I know it’s hard and demanding out there. Good luck to you 🤍✨🌱

[@janelleg597]

❤❤❤

[@Ap_twsh]

Yes woman get PTSD as police officers or other high risk jobs at a higher rate than men. Mentality required Is different.

[@EkayLaive]

Yhyh just make sure it’s not all talk please

[@KathyWhitehead-qz1fh]

i dont appreciate that, the comment was unnecessary. it took a lot for me to put my feelings out there. if you cant be supportive or say something nice, you dont need to comment. ​@EkayLaive

[@sarahemerson9277]

This is why I make sure to tell and show my husband everyday how grateful I am for him and everything he does for me and our family. I make sure to acknowledge that I don't understand everything that he's going through but I'm grateful for all of it. And it's genuine gratitude not the fake sugary gratitude.

[@Marking_The_Way]

I'm sure he is grateful for that, more than you know 🙂🙌

[@Hmfirestormz]

Awesome! My wife is the same. I’m grateful for women like you

[@Marking_The_Way]

@@Hmfirestormz Refreshing to see that there is hope out there, not just negativity and hopelessness 😃

[@amyrenee1361]

Your comment was fine until the last line where you planted seeds of doubt into the minds of readers , and undermined other women's efforts to show appreciation to their husbands just so you can feel self righteous. Maybe it's hard for you to accept that some women might just be sweeter than you.

[@8AFM4]

I think what’s equally important some times is what is not said. For me, I do work a very stressful job with long hours , but I am paid well and have an amazing home and life. So it really feels like I am failing if in spite of all that, there is nothing but annoyance and anger from my spouse about issues that most people would kill to be bothered with.

[@josephschuster7181]

Tone is the key. An old Christian friend of mine told me many years ago, when communicating with a woman and especially when there’s a disagreement, never draw out the sword from the sheath. Trying to remain calm during very stressful times takes tremendous energy and discipline.

[@Marking_The_Way]

💯You can have the BEST logical points, but you instantly lose if it becomes emotionally triggering.

[@joekelly4]

Facts

[@joerogaine7984]

I do that and it pisses my girlfriend off. “Why dont you have emotions”

[@Marking_The_Way]

@@joerogaine7984 Ya, emotion vs emotion isn't really effective 😅

[@josephschuster7181]

@ my girlfriend says I must have resolve to handle the emotional stress that she struggles with.

[@absue]

Men and women are different, but in this we are the same: we want to know that we are appreciated.

[@stevendownes7508]

My wife just left yesterday - this couldn't be more on point. Farming has been tough for the last 6 yeare, even by farming standards. The solution everyone told me was to talk about my feelings more like a women. Which did nothing about the environment causing the issues

[@erichneumann3856]

Brother.. keep going. I've been threw it. Just keep going. Be better. Get better

[@brittanydavis4546]

My prayers for you and your wife.

[@Marking_The_Way]

Sorry to hear that sir 😢 Do you think talking was the reason for the breakup? Or just exposed the issues y'all have been hiding for years?

[@jw841]

In my experience women generally find emotions in men icky. They expect men to be stoic from cradle to grave.

[@Sureshots.]

Keep your head up.

[@Jeremy-ql1or]

I wish women who say "Men need to be emotional open/vulnerable" understood that doing that has a disaster rate of about 80%. By which I mean if you do it five times, four of them will be disastrous.

[@leoxd7029]

Long term effects have a 100% rate of being disastrous.

[@rationalselfish]

It's hard to argue against that. Weak women will run from man's vulnerability.

[@JustinLietz]

They have no idea, because from their perspective they can do that. But they don’t know what men are dealing with

[@Comment_Momma]

I listened to this first thing this morning, and I had to cut it off halfway through and pray for my man and thank God for him. I'm just coming back to finish, but I thank you so much for reminding me of how much we have to be grateful for and to work towards. God bless and keep you both!

[@boliviandimples]

I hope you told him, how much of a blessing he is....and showed him too 😊😉

[@Comment_Momma]

@boliviandimples Might've had to wait-out the kids, but we managed! 😉😂🥂💖

[@Nick-mc2hy]

My father pasted away unexpectedly three months ago. I struggled HARD for a couple weeks. I had to get back to work and provide again. It’s the holidays now, works been tough and my wife is now going through her own thing that I’ve been supporting her through. Today I told her I still get sad everyday about my dad. She was surprised and later told me “you can tell me when you’re still feeling sad about your dad”. No, no I can’t. I have to continue on and can’t dwell.

[@Joseph-C]

Yeah, they always say things like that but they don't understand what they're telling you. No, as a man, it's not okay for me to throw a pity party for myself whenever I want. I'm sorry for your loss brother. Keep up the hard work.

[@nnnnnnnnnataliem]

A good man is just the most wonderful addition to anywhere ❤

[@missmoneypenny3917]

I’m so thankful for my husband. He’s a wonderful hardworking loving man . I let him know how often much he means to me . He’s my best friend and we can talk about everything. He’s a blessing in my life . I know my Dad woulda been proud of the man my husband is .

[@mctrustsnoone3781]

That is beautiful and made me smile. I am also blessed with a wonderful man - took me 'til 42 to find him, but I am thankful for him every day.

[@garybacongrease]

I have literally never benefitted from talking about my problems. Its always made me feel worse and made my living situation worse.

[@jasxaf]

what have you done to successfully work through your issues without talking? I'm very interested in this concept, I agree the average man doesn't need to talk it out, they need to work it out and get real connection from other men. have you found any tools as a man to work through the hard stuff?

[@deaddropsd1972]

You keep your head up buddy. People are different. If talking about your problems does not help you then you do whatever it does that helps you. Just as long as you’re not hurting yourself or other people or drinking or drugging like crazy you’re gonna be OK. Have a great day, buddy.

[@garybacongrease]

@@jasxaf Generally, I just start working more, get ahead of schoolwork, work on hobbies, work out, or anything that makes me feel substantial and not a loser. Doing this helps me build a positive self image which then helps me deal with whatever turmoil I’m experiencing. I believe that if I know I’m going down the right path then It both minimizes my problems and teaches me that I can endure any of the problems I experience, even if I can’t fix them. That also has to do with being comfortable being alone and becoming entirely independent. Not just “MAN” things, but also good ways for anyone to deal with pain or problems IMO.

[@garybacongrease]

@@deaddropsd1972thanks man👍

[@jasxaf]

​@@garybacongrease no that's fantastic insight, thank you for sharing. that helps me understand my husband's natural process a little better. I'm trying to distinguish my need for connection and attention from his need to just fix it. seems basic, but it extrapolates out in some of the most frustrating ways... striking that balance with actual communication is uh... fun.

[@itsverycontroversial8050]

Good communication style is paramount for healthy relationships across the board. Respect for the communication process is something that is learned.

[@AikoTakahashii]

God bless you amazing brothers, sons, husbands, friends, and fathers out there. I appreciate the weight you carry, the work you do, and the love you give.

[@CaptZenPetabyte]

I work in Psychology, I work mostly with Men and Boys. Therapy does help Men and Boys in many different ways, but it is done differently to the 'standard' therapy that is feminised.

[@skyblazeeterno]

I'm curious, what's different in your experience?

[@Yeti573]

Please elaborate!!!

[@hopefulforhumanity5625]

This is excellent information. I have a clue because my husband is open with me. But we've been married 25 years, and we are enjoying a deep connection and a lot of fun. BTW We have 7 children, and I have always been home full time with them. I love him for the bubble he has provided for me while he worked in uncomfortable, dangerous, stressful environments. I love him for lots of other reasons too.

[@MayGodKeepYouSafe]

You are blessed. I hope you have a Merry Christmas.

[@Madonnalitta1]

Great to see the Dry Creek cowboy on. He's a wealth of wisdom, with a voice that I could listen to for hours.

[@Marking_The_Way]

Was a great interview, I just posted up my top favorite 11 Lessons. Which one was your favorite? 👀

[@Lakoda26]

F gratitude, I just want credit. Acknowledgment of a man goes miles. We all have the one time we were noticed or recognized out of the blue by a random woman. The memory lasts forever.

[@kgjung2310]

Ask any married man when was the last time anyone complimented him. He probably can't think of one or it was so long ago it might as well just be myth.

[@aaa84gt]

​@@kgjung2310 Who tf you guys marrying? My wife (10 years in) still compliments me.

[@Marking_The_Way]

I tell women that I need more credit/acknowledgement. Not in a mean way, but I let them know I don't have to do it. Sometimes I temporarily stop my contributing to show the positive impact I make.

[@tryphenarose384]

@@kgjung2310 This can easily go both ways. I'm a stay at home mom, had 3 kids back to back which was hard on my body - my organs are literally dropping out of me - it's called pelvic organ prolapse. I spend all day with my kids. Have no community, family or friends because my husband is controlling and at times has treated me like dog shit. Telling me he wants a second wife, wants to engage in polygamy because God gave him that authority. That's the thanks I get for being faithful, submissive and obedient. Women can go through a lot too. This life is full of turmoil and stress and pain for everyone. All we can do as human beings is try to be strong through each day and not look for our validation and satisfaction in a single person.

[@Detached4547]

I love those, even though they're becoming more rare.

[@FunderDuck]

Sometimes men are expected to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders, and yet are discarded by society if they buckle or break under the pressure.

[@matthewkuhl79]

_Sometimes?_

[@FunderDuck]

@ “sometimes” alluding to some men individually, not all men in general.

[@matthewkuhl79]

@broceliandeforest7420 These aren't mutually exclusive

[@beeamerica5024]

I will go the other route and say always

[@C_Mor_Rocks]

This is so true that I’ve been happier being a single dad not dating for 5 years than any point that I was in a relationship with their mom. It’s tough, but a hell of a lot less stressful. Thanks for my sons, we’ll see ya on the other side ladies lol

[@sirdanoman]

Amen. I stayed that way a long time when my son was young. It was just he and I.

[@TheUneducatedAcademics]

I can't help but wonder how your sons would feel reading this someday...

[@RealGeorg3]

​@@TheUneducatedAcademics proud of their father.

[@therapywithisabel]

My sons and I have been on our own for just over ten years. They are 14 and 16 now and while I love them with all my heart. Our home is missing what a grown man can provide. Something I have found money can't buy. I wonder if I did them a favor or a disservice. Similarly, they will be growing up soon. I never realized even through the toughest of the divorce that living alone was the final outcome.

[@aprilprescott4192]

@@therapywithisabel You are very honest, I wish you a lovely future.

[@johnt5897]

I think this is very true and something not understood by a good amount of people, even some men. From my personal experience as a younger man, a lot of younger women seem to just expect things from a man without much appreciation or recognition what a man goes through. It’s like they think that being a man is all fun and don’t realize how as a man you almost have to fake it. What I mean is sometimes you’re scared but you do it anyways, sometimes you are tired but you do it anyways. There’s a sense of responsibility of being a man that forces you to do a whole bunch of things and be a certain way that you may innately don’t want to do or you may even think you aren’t capable enough to do. But you do it because you don’t want to lose your self respect of being a man. Of course women have their own inner battles, but I feel like a lot of men’s inner battles are played off as nothing and are expected for a man to suck up, which is partially true. All a man wants is the respect and recognition of holding this burden, to be the rock in their family and society. I think a lot of this comes from the media narrative of late of toxic masculinity without recognizing that men sacrifice themselves for the greater good of society, whether it be fighting in war, working an arduous labor job, or just providing the stability for a family unit. Being a man or woman is tough, and we need to start respecting each other more and recognizing the value we both provide.

[@serainbenade9242]

I'm going to get home and give my husband the biggest hug ever. ❤ I cannot help him solve all of his problems, but acknowledgement and appreciation, I can do.

[@revenantwolzart]

Such a poetic and honest man! every bit of what he spoke is true

[@kgjung2310]

Here's the thing: Most women do not want to know about the struggles men go through. They don't want to hear it. They just want the illusion that everything is great. They don't want anything that would threaten that perfect mental state. They don't want the illusion to be broken. Women are always telling men to express their emotions and open up. When men do, often times the women lose respect for the man because he showed himself to be weak or incapable. It's why women say they lost attraction for their man, but don't understand why. It's one of the reasons why men are increasingly walking away. What's the point of all this if the wife will not even appreciate the effort and suffering the guy goes through for her? Why maintain a home that offers no refuge or peace for a man that had to spend all day fighting co-workers, clients, patients, competitors, etc only to come home and face more from a spouse who doesn't respect his sacrifices??

[@Marking_The_Way]

Agreed, the environment has shifted. Women can do a lot of what men can do (When it comes to office jobs). There is a good way to articulate your shortcomings. If you never do it, you'll suck at it. But they'll find out your shortcomings anyways, so you might as well try it and improve.

[@joshcullen1255]

Respect brother 🙏❤️‍🔥

[@Breezy-jq6hq]

I guess I just don't get it. It may be due to watching my parents marriage, but where are these guys who put a roof over her head, provide grocery money, and buy her car? Most women I know work and provide at roughly 50% (sometimes a bit less, sometimes a bit more). To your point, I think when women ask men to open up, what they mean is please share something real about yourself and please share how I am important to you and how you are committed to me. Women often search for security and safety. They need to know that on a deep level their husband is all in and likes her.

[@Marking_The_Way]

@Breezy-jq6hq I think for guys it's a hard environment. A lot of guys struggle opening up. They're not used to it, so they mess up. Often, they may have complaints about their partner. Now their partner may be emotionally hurt, which leaves them fixing a "preventable" mess that should have been focused on helping them feel better. Lots to unpack of course, but that may be a good start 🤔

[@mjennifer142]

That’s some deep as shit for real. I’m a woman and everything you said is so fucking true like. We want the illusion all that you said on that part just everything!!! I can definetly confirm to that. Maybe that what treat others the way you want to be treated??? And put yourself in other people’s shoes. Women also are super jealous like with my husband I would actually talk about how cute or hot a girl is. It’s just…I mean I get it you know. Women need to stop digging their heads in the sand. And if he’s look at a girl like you catch them shit then look at her to is she hot to you? She got a nice ass to? lol I’m just it’s ok you know.

[@savevsdeath]

Dry Creek Wrangler School on Chris Williamson's channel? I'm here for it. This man is the mentor we all need.

[@smokingcrab2290]

Sometimes. But many other times he's high on himself with his cowboy boomer talk that is detached from reality

[@legasees]

It takes a great deal of strength for a man to be emotionally vulnerable. Doing so with my partner makes her feel more emotionally connected to me. She also gains insight into how best to support me. Our species is hardwired for emotional connection. Men repressing the expression of their feelings denies them of their full humanity. Strength and vulnerability are not mutually exclusive.

[@legasees]

@@julietcoles6245 👍🏻

[@leoxd7029]

As a man, I disagree with your statement. That’s what you think it does. There is a difference between whining and openly communicating. If you’re whining, crying, not offering solutions… that’s you making yourself weaker than you are and your woman most likely respecting you a little less. As she should for that behavior. Communication should be done exactly the way the cowboy did in the example. The way you deal with issues is by confronting them honestly and head on. You don’t cry about them, you don’t whine, you don’t complain. Your statement about men not expressing feelings denying them their true humanity is simply not true. It’s incorrect. Men are different creatures than women. We work differently, we operate differently, we think differently. Vulnerability and strength, assuming that vulnerability means any of the above mentioned actions like whining or crying, are indeed mutually exclusive. And actually, your experience of life as a man only comes to its full potential if you are objective about most things, take on your cross with enthusiasm, discipline and objectivity and you recognize feelings for what they truly are: situational, not rooted in reality, and often wrong, and a hinderance to your thriving. That doesn’t mean you totally ignore emotion. But you are aware that emotions can be really deceitful and often… are just conjured up to keep you from reaching your potential and from becoming the man you can become. You acknowledge emotion, but you also don’t act on it. An emotional man is often confused, a serial procrastinator, and not reaching anywhere near his potential and has a much worse life, including life within yourself, than the man who operates like a man who bears his cross and leads, figures things out, and doesn’t put things off, ever, just because he doesn’t feel like doing them. If you let your emotion decide what you do, or when you work, or when you hit the gym, or when you get up…you become a slave to it, and you never do any of the things you actually know you want and should do. By acting on emotion, you’re making yourself less than you could be. Emotion generally only wastes time in finding a solution to the problem that made you experience the emotion in the first place. It just doesn’t help to engage in it. It can point to an issue that you should fix, but that’s it. That doesn’t mean you’re numb by the way, you experience life to the fullest, in every facette, when you’re living up to your potential as a man. You enjoy every day and almost every minute. But only if you don’t treat yourself like a defunct woman.

[@mommabear5059]

@legasees you are very wise.

[@legasees]

@ 🙏🏻

[@legasees]

@@julietcoles6245 🙏🏻

[@wendyg8758]

Ive never nagged or have never said I was dissatisfied with what I've had or didnt have. Ive made dinner, lunch and breakfast everyday for 45 yrs. Kept the house and balanced the budget. And have always been grateful. A real man doesnt quit his family and I wont quit him. Do we argue? Oh yea, but I always let him know I'm not going anywhere. Its just how it is. Men need to know this and deserve a good meal and to know you got their back.

[@hurricaneaquatics]

Well said Wendy. I'm in a toxic marriage and have been for 29 years. A wife is what her husband depends on to be there. A man will move the world for you if you love him and support him. Glad to hear you understand that.

[@blankcity1747]

Hit the nail on the head. When a man knows she's got his back, he feels fifty stories tall. That's really all we want.

[@catinthehat1486]

@@hurricaneaquaticsand your staying in a toxic marriage fir what reason exactly?

[@KristenMcNamara]

Wendy, do you teach classes? 😂 you are a rare one!

[@SebastianMontaudon]

Spoken like a true lady.

[@WesleyNiman]

I love the Dry Creek Wrangler channel! This is a welcome surprise!

[@LawrenceLaputka]

THANK YOU MR. DEWAYNE!! YOU ARE SO ON-POINT ABOUT THE INTERNALS OF MEN AND WHAT THEY NEED IN THIER RELATIONSHIPS!!

[@eurowerx4267]

All a man really wants is peace!!!

[@nicolem889]

That’s a lie

[@jasxaf]

wanting it and creating it are 2 very different things. most people in general just don't have the tools to create a peaceful life with a well adjusted partner. men can scream into the void about what they want and need but we have to participate in our own peace.

[@saras.2173]

Then he should avoid doing things that destroy his woman’s peace. And that means asking her, not assuming that material things are all she needs.

[@mctrustsnoone3781]

Small caveat; all a mentally stable and secure man wants is peace. That desire for peace comes with mental maturity (for both parties).

[@ryanortiz2648]

Thats not all the way true. Why? Because a lot men would rather go for a younger girl full of drama than a woman his age full of peace.

[@johngrantland680]

Great example story by Dewayne. If a man wars against the world he must have peace at home with his loving wife. The correct currency exchange between men and women is, men give strength and women give love. Strength is found in a man's life direction and the counterbalance to his strength is the love of woman. Women can't be loving in the absence of strength and men can't be strong without a woman's love. This relational mixture is romance.

[@fionafidela]

That's actually so sweet!

[@martinbrandt565]

Man, this hits the nail. You've just put on words what I could never find words for. I wish my wife could ever understand that and give me the peace I need at home to be able to go out next morning and take on another battle for her.

[@jessicajensen1976]

Peace of home is a necessity...

[@alexsam1175]

You cause me to reconsider my outlook while it upsets me that some of my walls are being broken I need to hear this. Thank you

[@coniwing5237]

Been married 36yrs to a man in law enforcement. We had 6 children that I homeschooled. I feel a piece of connective tissue was needed for me to see interviewee’s view of things. Yes, a husband(man) 100% has needs. As does his wife. Bear with me, I know this is about the man but he is not functioning in a marriage as an individual. As married ppl, men and women, they are attempting to function in the world as a unit. As a couple. And as a couple they pool their finite budget of mental/emotional/physical currency. But it’s shared and it’s still finite. If he needs peace when he gets home, the provision of that may create a deficit for the wife, unless *they* make arrangements for his need. “His” need is actually “their” need, and her need is also “their” need. They’re a unit.

[@lisaharmon8401]

Very very good point!! And essential to the discussion

[@annagowler8286]

Thank you for saying this!!! I felt this interview was very one-sided and all about what the man needs. And that the women just need to serve and keep their man satisfied. Remember, the tone of the home is set by the headship of the household. If the husband is leading like God instructed and intended, the woman has no problem taking her place and being supportive. Also, we as wives are not responsible for our husband's happiness. That must come from within.

[@laneroberts7222]

So incredibly true…..all we need is the recognition and gratitude. I want nothing more from my woman.

[@realistixx8940]

This is valuable. Pay attention to how he explains, the communication. Not vulnerability. You should not and can not fall apart emotionally. Women are wired to want a protector and provider. She will lose respect for you and resent you if you drop all that weight on her. Its an evolutionary defense mechanism, that will scare them off quicker than anything. You have to carry the weight brother. And you have to carry it well. But asking for peace so you can continue is appropriate.

[@smokingcrab2290]

We're all human. We all have a breaking point. It's so unfair for a woman to think the world is ending if a man shows that he is not God. This mentality is so despicable.

[@robothorse]

The one thing we all want is respect. Give it to get it.

[@murf1201]

i love this bloke. wisdom. you go good to chris haha cheers from oz. cant wait to watch the full interview

[@StrifeA217]

This is why i watch videos and read, to see how better men then me think and comunicate those thoughts. This couldnt have been put any better.

[@baptistemathus]

4:40 'never worry about there being grocery money'. I'm trying to stay open-minded but really this section and overall the stance makes me wonder whether we're in 1961 or something...

[@JustSherries]

There's nothing wrong with being vulnerable. What is wrong is that so many peoples past traumas cause them to react or use things against a person when they are angry.

[@Ives1776]

Therapy can be helpful. My childhood was terrible. I was born into a cult, didn’t have a healthy family, no father. Without therapy I’d either be dead or still hating the world. That’s where I’ll leave that. And vocalizing your concerns and emotions is important. I’d say though there’s a fine line between expressing concern and displaying emotional irregularity. If you start having a mental meltdown, your partner will absolutely respect you less. So you need to be emotionally controlled before you talk to them about what’s bothering you.

[@Marking_The_Way]

💯💯💯🙌

[@TheMedicineMan_29]

Absolutely brother… well said

[@tr33tv]

Thanks for getting this man on the channel. Truly understands male psychology. Really hit home.

[@BrettBzdafka]

Most meaningful video to me of 2024. Thank you for articulating what I have been unable to myself.

[@evelyngernaat7026]

Thank you for sharing your insights. I do understand some of men's burdens. I also agree we as women need to appreciate and respect men for their efforts. Just a little insight from a woman's side. Women working and raising children and doing the real work of maintaining a home and family have unvoiced burdens as well. That is just life. Men need peace. Women need acknowledgement of their efforts as well.. Good communication is essential for both.

[@peoplepleaser]

2:05 is the truest word

[@jamesrisse2173]

Trauma and struggle go both ways. I think both men, and women, should be encouraged and appreciated for working on or dealing with the ghosts in their closets. Everyone deserves a partner who acknowledges and respects this struggle, and more so for sustaining whatever responsibilities they have.

[@copperhead2694]

I’m sorry , but he just contradicted himself. He first states that men are burden with all kinds of things and pressures and don’t know how to properly communicate them but then turns around and says they don’t need to communicate them and they don’t need therapist help to work through them. They just need to stay in their own silence, but yet their loved ones are supposed to have some kind of mental telepathy understanding that they are going through it and just respect it. And there is your issue . Why men and women don’t understand each other . Sometimes all the things going on in there heads are unwarranted. Sometimes it’s things they don’t really need to stress over , and when you share it with your partner, they can tell you .. Honey that is not even a concern, don’t worry for nothing , or maybe let me help you carry it, you don’t have to suffer in silence, let me carry it with you . That is true partnership!!

[@marklittle8805]

If we can trust women to not use it against us or hold it against us, it would happen. But too many women use it OR lose respect for a man who doesn't have it all under control. Masculinity that attracts women is competency in managing life and on her behalf. A man has to be careful how much he bares his soul. Most men have been burned by this at some point

[@mattchu.]

Exactly! I agree that there's no point turning into a cry baby and being weak all the time, but real openness and vulnerability are not weakness! It takes a lot of strength to be open about when you are struggling and to not feel ashamed to vent and ask for help when things are hard. This is what men need. I think his message in this video is a bit dangerous to be honest. Telling us that the problem is men keeping things bottled up, then basically telling men to continue to keep things bottled up... like what?

[@IkesPimpHand]

No he did not contradict himself. You're incapable of understanding. Modern therapy is specifically designed to benefit women at the expense of men in any and all situations. Therapy is proven to not help men. Talking about it doesn't help. Working on things like woodworking, hunting, etc in the company of other men has been proven to be helpful.

[@mattchu.]

@@IkesPimpHand what are you talking about? 😂

[@IkesPimpHand]

@@mattchu. that's what I thought. Don't you bother trying to understand it.

[@Strikeskunk4]

One of the best things in life, most paramount, is choosing the right partner.

[@nicholasmosley8707]

Most problems cannot be solved, they can only be managed. They stay with you. With that being the case it does not make sense to burden others with your issues, they have their own

[@nicolenorris8991]

I am so thankful that you articulated the therapy part for a man. As a female/feminist dominated society this has been a push for men to go to a therapist. It’s rarely the solution. We need to give men the space to be masculine and be there as support whenever they need it. Please make more episodes like this so we can understand how to better serve real men.

[@Bearwoman11]

Thank you for sharing! I needed to here this!

[@carriebailey4455]

I think the reason I'm ten years into a happy marriage is because I don't expect him to be like one of my girlfriends. He has a different life expertise and we work well because we each respect each other's specialties.

[@ProCoach2373]

If you can't be open and authentic with your bride, you have the wrong bride. My wife has been a rock for me since day one. God blessed me tremendously! I don't know where I'd be without her unconditoinal love.

[@mctrustsnoone3781]

Completely agree.

[@leoxd7029]

2:11 yes. YES. Also, a God fearing man will become a real man. 2:55 correct imo. Be objective about these issues. All issues have cause and solution. Don’t be vulnerable. Be honest and strong instead. Don’t whine. 4:19 exactly.

[@SuperStunningdunning]

I agree that everyone needs peace at home, and this wisdom works 100% for a family with a stay-at-home mom. But this gets tricky when the mom is also working a full-time job and managing the household. Sadly, this is the average household nowadays. I believe that if only one income was required per household, we would have more cohesive families.

[@RextheRebel]

We can only have a society that permits single income households if women stopped working in the labor market and when back to being homemakers. That's when it will become affordable again. When wmen stop consuming so much and start producing a lot more in their homes with their children for their community, that's when things can go back to normal.

[@hollymerchant9550]

You should probably check the current tax codes... IRS loves double incomes!

[@SuperStunningdunning]

@@RextheRebel, does it sound like you're blaming the women and that they are consuming too much? That was not the case in my household. My husband bought a boat without consulting me, and I was the major breadwinner at the time.

[@DaOverman00]

​@@SuperStunningdunningCongratulations, you represent an extreme outlier in Western society and an even more extreme outlier for humanity as a whole.

[@SuperStunningdunning]

@@DaOverman00 With all due respect this is commonplace in the Western World and most definitely amongst my peer group. The average female who is partnered will consult with their male partner when purchasing over 300-400 ( roughly the grocery budget for the week) the male counterpart on the other hand has a much higher threshold into the thousands before he would consult his wife/partner. Just yesterday, my girlfriend came home from work and her partner decided they could use a sawmill because it was a good deal, only $7,000 with a few extras. No consult I'm not sure where you live, this may be true, but please don't throw out blanket statments.

[@lindsaypeek63]

Yes when a man does something and makes it sound hard that he completed it he is trying to get a win! Most women tell him it wasn’t that hard when it’s best to just say wow and yet you accomplished it thank you, you did it .

[@Mo_alta]

So he’s absolutely right in terms of communicating. But I think a lot of men struggle to do this because the woman may not respond the way he wants her to and that makes him afraid. Gents if you communicate honestly and with sincerity about your needs and wants and she don’t like it, she ain’t the one man. You’re too much to handle in her view and she ain’t strong enough to admit it so you have to make the call.

[@mctrustsnoone3781]

Agreed, for either partner. If an approach or reaction is designed to create an emotional response, beware, you are being manipulated.

[@anilbalram7768]

He answered the question in one minute.

[@harrisric128]

My wife and I have been together for 23 years, married for 13, and honestly, this right here is what she gets. The issue is many men have zero clue how to communicate this to their women. In the end, he speaks to tone but it is so important. My mother always told me, "It's not what you say but how you say it," and that rings the truest when it comes to your significant other and your children. There are too many tyrants out here pretending to be kings.

[@briangoldy8784]

Lost My Brother, Mom, Dad an Wife past 10 years. an My Son is Mentally ill. Schizophrenic. Talking with a Therapist is not a bad thing.. guys..

[@kauinoa2004]

2:04 that’s exactly it. Sometimes I get a little frustrated because I have some health issues and my wife doesn’t like some of the sacrifices I make for my kids. But that’s my right, those are my kids and I’ll take some pain for them to have what they want and need. But she’s also right sometimes so I listen and take her words into account. I also know though that she appreciates what I do for this family and always has and that my kids are happy and healthy and that’s more than enough.

[@joniramirez8684]

I totally get what you're saying about sacrifice for your kids. I love mine dearly. But those kids will grow up and move on. Maybe your wife brings it up because she cares so deeply for your longevity and being together down the road. But hats off to you for being a good provider despite it's burdens.

[@puppy14]

I’ve learned over the years to never talk about how I feel to my wife, to give it to God and eventually she realizes it. Sometimes she will literally say the exact concern I have and that she understands. It’s so powerful and relieving to hear.

[@ItApproaches]

It' not about what you wish women KNEW about men, it's you wish women CARED. Cause you can tell them everything about men, but they don't want to hear it.

[@AnthonyStJames-yn8nr]

I currently work in an environment where it is women-dominated and most men of my generation (millennial) in this setting tend to conform to modern values that make them more agreeable to feminist values, while the more traditional types, such as what I see myself, are ostracized. It really makes me scratch my head that men are expected to conform to mainstream values that are more geared towards women, and those that don't follow are left out. Chris is one of those people I look up to.

[@michaelhorner6804]

Liberalism is a hell of a price for being stylish. The feminist movement has torn apart the family unit in America the past 3 generations keep getting worse.

[@AnthonyStJames-yn8nr]

@@michaelhorner6804 I think it's time we push back. They've had their run for the past decades.

[@teevans8370]

It appals me that there are people out there who would be so ungrateful if they are in a relationship where their partner provides everything for them. I would love that, but have never found myself in that sort of relationship, unfortunately. In fact I don't know many women whose partner provides everything for them in this way.

[@ArtemisRising289]

My husband and I are veterans. Our demographic commits suicide at high rates because we don’t talk enough. Psychedelic therapy and integration circles with fellow veterans has been lifesaving for us as individuals and as a couple. Vulnerability has a place, you just have to learn to be humble to the discomfort of it.

[@npkrn6764]

Men need to understand, however, that if they want closeness with those they proclaim to love, they need to communicate it. If they are with someone they cannot show that to without fear of being ridiculed, then they're with the wrong person.

[@nicolenorris8991]

I am so thankful that you articulated the therapy part for a man. As a female/feminist dominated society this has been a push for men to go to a therapist. It’s rarely the solution. We need to give men the space to be masculine and be there as support whenever they need it.

[@mattchu.]

Vulnerability doesn't equal weakness though. Vulnerability is hard and takes a ton of strength

[@smokingcrab2290]

It's only perceived as weakness by those who don't want to love you

[@Teri728]

Every situation is different.

[@janelleg597]

We would get nowhere talking about every situation.

[@Teri728]

@@janelleg597obviously but my statement still true

[@christoforos4126]

One thing I've noticed about women is that they request men to share their feelings. But the moment men share their feelings with a women, it immediately becomes about how the woman feels about the mans feelings. So no matter what you share, her feelings are always center stage. This is why men don't care to share with women at certain levels. It's impossible. And like he says, I don't need to talk it out. I need you to acknowledge me and be grateful for me, as I am for you.

[@lt2459]

"They don't need therapy. They need gratitude." Yes. YEESSSS!!!! FNALLY someone said it! Thank you!!

[@RicoCharles84]

We Men don’t need much. Give us reason and a goal to pursue and people (a woman) who will recognize and respect us for it.

[@deborahdicembre9579]

🎯

[@Detached4547]

Now just "thank you" is labeled toxic, "Respect" is controlling, whats left for us.

[@niallfitzpatrick6568]

If a man got that even from an average woman she'll have his loyalty for life...simple as that. Why do women not ever understand this? It's basic stuff.

[@cmc7507]

Thank you for telling the truth

[@nserasera]

It’s sad because a lot of men don’t know how to receive a woman like this. They’ve been so shut out when a nurturing woman comes along it’s foreign. They’re used to working, providing, proving that being taken care of in some ways or held down is uncomfortable. We need to love each other better

[@Citizen_one]

“What is like is some peace and understanding” that cut like a knife. Thank you for this wosdom

[@DorangoBread]

There's ALOT in my head that I keep bottled up forever.

[@andrewbristow2817]

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!

[@tsibren]

Dewayne sometimes says the most in the silence between words. Not just in this interview but also on his own channel.

[@MMC-jp1gl]

Men need to realize that providing and protecting come AFTER leading your family. So many men choose their jobs/careers over leadership b/c it's more rewarding, they get more positive feedback. But being a husband and father is more than just putting food on the table. Teach men how to LEAD and their wives and children will respect them in return. God bless~

[@pkeslerp]

The short answer to the title - everything!

[@kendals3833]

LISTEN! if you need peace are you giving her what she needs?

[@RextheRebel]

Is she giving him what he needs? Many ppl don't even want to ask that.

[@user-id8ng9eq9h]

Gratitude - not - therapy. As a father of 3 who works hard to do all the right things for his family, that sums it up perfectly. BUT...if I tell my wife I'm the one who needs to put gas in the car because she doesn't....will most definitely lead to a fight :)........

[@hops2099x]

💯 nailed it.

[@RJBiteanerd]

Man that's such a difficult and hard point he makes but it's so succinct.

[@Sdukes001]

Keep fighting the battles that no one else knows about.

[@TheRabbit91476]

Opening answer 100%

[@RoyalFizzbin]

“They don’t need therapy; they need gratitude.” SPOT ON.

[@sonyam8]

How precisely do you do this? How do you show that respect and gratitude? Baring in mind he just said that we don't need to talk it out and that there are burdens that we don't know about?

[@NewfolderD]

Very very simple. Don't talk. Just be around. You will start to "feel" him after some time. Talking is overrated.

[@ManiaCop100]

Damn this is so true, we dont need to say it out loud, we just want the people we are doing it for to recognise it. But when they give u fake gratitude or zero, man its hard. Luckily i know my kids should thank me one day even if the mother of that child doesn't

[@j.r_ibtbotfa5279]

Everything said is exactly right.

[@lizzyaalexis7850]

I don't think this perspective is universal. I'm a 30 year old woman from a family where my female siblings and I were expected to never show our vulnerability. My grandmother viewed our vulnerability as a crack in the shield that we were expected to cover ourselves with in the world. Oftentimes our male siblings were allowed to be vulnerable and would come to us for emotional support. For example, when my brother is worried about something, he'll call one of us to get it off his chest. For some reason, we just don't do the same back. I've seen my sisters and I carry so much pent up emotion and unspoken burdens. Not all women are taught to be emotionally expressive. We too have a lot running through our minds that men will never know.

[@ryanortiz2648]

Right. To each its own type of thing. For me, therapy works. Speaking/communicating helps me, but for others don’t.