What I Didn't Show You From The Twins Birth...

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[@gabrielhendershot7917]

I was born 6 weeks early and had a very hard time breathing and eating. Im 18 now, happy and healthy. My mom always told me it was the hardest 2 weeks of her life leaving me alone in the NICU. She passed this year and these vlogs have helped me feel close to her and understand what she went through with me since she can no longer tell me herself.

[@laylahanna7637]

i'm sorry for your loss. you're so strong

[@livywithane]

Awww

[@yorii-kitty]

Im sorry for your loss :(

[@jamieanncunha7008]

I’m so sorry for your loss, you are so strong and loved!❤️

[@penelopevee1684]

Sorry for your loss

[@headlessgummybear6777]

Hi Colleen! I'm an Emergency Room RN, but while I was in Nursing School, I was a NICU cuddler for 2 years! I saw so many mama's like you that had to come in and out after they were discharged and their babes were in the NICU still. If you're open to it, I'd say ask for cuddlers (if they're available) to spend some time with your babes while you are recovering at home. It's a natural instinct to want to spend all your time there that you can, but you just went through major surgery, and while everyone wants to see you love all over your babies, please make sure you also care for you!! I just wanted to comment and say that I want you to know: when you're not there, those nurses, those cuddlers, everyone there LOVES those babies and makes sure they feel warm and welcome at all times. Everyone knows this is the hardest time you'll eve go through, seeing your children in the hospital. Everyone supports you Colleen! Heal quickly, and sending all those amazing good vibes to those kiddos to get big and strong for you!

[@laurawoods13]

Commenting so i hope she sees this! If they wanted to do this, I think it might help them feel a little better to know that the babies are still getting cuddles and love and human contact, in addition to the care from the doctors/nurses

[@rachel-yx7dp]

Boosting this! Thank you for sharing I hope this helps her!

[@theabsolutenobodyguy5702]

GUYS BOOST THIS OUT!

[@lollymae3079]

amazing comment ‼️‼️‼️

[@paytonlautz5724]

liking and commenting to boost this comment 🤍

[@xashleyj]

Colleen - NICU mama here. My daughter was born 6 weeks early, just a little over 3 pounds, and having her in the NICU was the hardest thing of my life. She was there for 5.5 weeks before we were able to take her home. As hard and as painful as it all was, looking back now, I'm so thankful as that experience made me SO STRONG right out of the gate. I wasn't prepared for how it all happened, but knowing that my daughter needed me to immediately face any panic and fear I had dead on made me a different person. A better and stronger person, the person my daughter needed as her mom. You are SO STRONG. Those babies KNOW you're their mama. They are getting the care they need FROM YOU in the form of the angel NICU nurses. You are still mothering those precious babies every second of the day that they are not with you. It may not be how you envisioned, but those babies are being cared and loved for BY YOU, no matter where they are and where you are. Love you, stay strong. You've got this mama.

[@dollfairytopia]

This is beautiful Ashley. I’m so glad your daughter is okay.

[@krismbright]

This comment is so beautiful! I hope this encourages you, sweet Colleen!

[@julianarocha9370]

this is so sweet

[@adrianaa2767]

thank you sharing , Ashely. I hope Colleen reads your comment. How is your baby girl today?

[@marcye3649]

Thank you for sharing! That must have been so difficult, I can’t even imagine, but you’re right, you two are strong women! I hope she sees this comment.

[@Bajamamama]

A c-section is literally one of the only surgeries where they cut through so many layers of skin and everything and expect you stand up so soon and walk so soon, you’re immensely strong and amazing. And congratulations even though it was hard and traumatic you and the babies did it

[@ihavenofriends9942]

I was born pre maturely and I was in a box in and out for 8 weeks and after that I had health problems ever since when I was younger I had to be on a breathing tube but i dont get a mom to help she passed away 5 weeks later

[@maia3253]

@@ihavenofriends9942 I’m sorry for your loss

[@ihavenofriends9942]

@@maia3253 thank you

[@panda5122]

@Amelia Laird It's still major abdominal surgery. After most abdominal surgeries you can't lift anything for weeks. After a c-section you have a several pound ever growing baby who you need to lift and carry and feed.

[@maryfrail2292]

I understand what your saying but ALL surgeries are awful and not pleasant! Luckily she went threw a very minor surgery compared to most! I don’t know where you got that info but she’s fine just emotional 😭 I would be too…

[@samanthalyn1999]

“i left my other baby to come have these babies, and now i’m not with any of my children” just broke my heart. i am not a mom yet, i can’t even imagine the pain of this, it has got to be one of the most painful things u can go through as a mom, my heart goes out for you, your heartache and sadness is completely valid and you are so supported in this community, we love you colleen❤️

[@mutantclown3447]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/n3_dfZevisqCr5o

[@laulaurenni]

Omg, same! I'm nowhere near becoming a mom, but this part had me crying with her! Hopefully those babies get well and home as soon as possible, so they can all finally be reunited as one family, as they should. Can't wait to see Flynn being a big brother and Colleen be at peace with all three children under the same roof!

[@victoria.lyden24]

time?

[@nobita9201]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/qIqVdZaBicStgMU

[@babybean1663]

NICU twin here* : It opens my eyes alot to see the struggle you're facing about feeling torn away from the babies, because my mother told me this happened to her as well. I'm a twin, we were born at 32 weeks. I was 3 lbs, my sister was 1 lb. She was weaker and stayed in the NICU longer. My mother had a c section, was passed out for three days, and left the hospital without us as we needed to stay for (me) a month and (her) 2 months. My mother was devastated and sobbed in the car on the way home, because she felt it was horribly unfair to have been with us and grown us and not be able to be with us and take us home. But there's pictures of us when she did take us home, and she looks so happy. Her and my sister had big smiles when she finally did take us home. You're a strong mother Colleen. When it feels tough, remember that you will take them home and you will all have big beautiful smiles when you do. Everything will be okay, it's all just a process. ❤️💕

[@sunflowerthebunbunbunny]

💗

[@alexandracouto62]

Up

[@Jenn-715]

This was a great experience to share!!! Happy you’re here!! 🥰

[@zoeennis9915]

Awe my little brother was 2 pounds and was in the nicu for months it’s so hard but great when we got to take him home

[@eleanorduncan9312]

Im also a NICU twin!! We were born a little bit earlier than colleens two cuties, and we did super well. But I remember asking my mom if she had any pictures of us from the hospital/birth, and she told me it was so painful for her to see us attached to machines and surrounded by tubes and bandages, that she couldn't even pull out a camera. She also felt that taking pictures of us meant to her that we weren't going to make it, like somehow she would be taking those pictures to capture our lives in case anything happened. She had two babies (my older siblings) before us, and another one after, all vaginal births. Yet because of the trauma that comes along with a C-section, my twin and I are the only two without birth pictures. Just thought I'd share, make sure, Colleen, you know that this is a very traumatic experience and your feelings are completely valid, and felt by at least one other mama out there!!

[@15dlt]

Once you're healed and ready, I highly suggest seeing a therapist who specializes in birth trauma. I had an emergency C-section and my daughter had to stay in the NICU for the first few days and I struggled with postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety for a long time. Therapy can really really help. You're doing so great! Just be easy on yourself and try to heal physically and emotionally.

[@momtoallboys]

I second seeking therapy

[@ryleew7]

I agree! This is so traumatizing, but it’s hard to find someone who understands. Her talking it out with her mom could be great too. All of are here to help and support her

[@ryleew7]

All of us are here*

[@nobita9201]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/eGqyh3SEitV7ias

[@mutantclown3447]

kzbin.info1eyGrdfNSMs?feature=share

[@angelapartyflips5498]

Mom of a 31 weeker!! I remember this feeling when you said “I’m not doing well” so so vividly. It was 2 days after his birth one of the nurses in the middle of the night drawing my labs asked how I was and I said “my physical pain is nothing compared to my emotional pain.” I didn’t get to see Wyatt until 24 hours after birth, and then being discharged without him was really really gut wrenching, it stands in such opposition to maternal instinct. W spent 42 days in the NICU and every day felt like a year. The milestones in the NICU will always always be special to me, the green NICU milestone journal on Amazon helped me a lot! It got me excited about the first bath, touch times, all of it. NICU Mama solidarity. Thank you for sharing and for being so honest!! Sending all the love and sunshine to your precious family.

[@renaelovespugs2530]

31 WEEKER WOW Your amazing

[@annanicolevining7399]

I was also a 31 weeker momma! We stayed in nicu for 36 days. 💙

[@annanicolevining7399]

I was also a 31 weeker momma! We stayed in nicu for 36 days. 💙

[@renaelovespugs2530]

@@annanicolevining7399 YOUR AMAZING TOO

[@annie5171]

My friend had twins prematurely recently; being at home without them was really hard for her as well. She decided to write them letters everyday and have her daughter draw them pictures. She would write about things that she was excited for with them, and used it kind of like a diary. I don’t know if that’s something that would help you, but I thought I would suggest it.

[@may___021]

That sounds really sweet, aww

[@Ashloumaly]

Awh I think she'd love this! I hope your friend and her babies are doing okay x

[@alwayshelen2055]

Flynn has a chest, maybe the twins have chests too and she can also craft for them since that is something she loves to do as well and then everything, letters crafts, things Flynn makes can all live in the chest.

[@LaurenAlley]

This would be great for her! Especially since she wrote a journal to Flynn before he was born and she didn’t get to do that this time around 💛

[@ellemayrxx]

That’s amazing xx

[@dreamwishes3172]

As a momma that had her twins two months early and had a rush c-section. My heart goes out to you. I remember going home without my babies and balling, when I first saw my girls they didn’t even look real they were so small. I felt I had failed them only making it to 32 weeks and 4 days. We did 6 weeks in Nicu and had a lot of appointments in the months after for them. Today they’re almost 7 and super healthy. That time in our life’s was super hard and I feel for you and your family. Please make sure to lean on close family and friends. If I can recommend anything is too make every little mile stone they achieve in nicu a big deal. I have a book and photos of I made for my girls to look at.

[@ciaramarvin2995]

You are one strong momma!

[@marleybucy2605]

This is soo sad! Glad their doing well

[@pcbassoon3892]

I had my son at 30 weeks and had to do an emergency C-section too. My son is doing great at 2. It's really amazing how babies so little can catch up!

[@jessimarie8009]

I had a 25 weeker, he’s 3.5 now and doing great! Preemies are so strong!

[@nobita9201]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/eGqyh3SEitV7ias

[@emslife6002]

“I know it could be worse” but that doesn’t negate the fact that your experience was hard. It was painful emotionally and physically. Life can always be worse, but it doesn’t mean your feelings and experiences aren’t valid. I hope the babies get to come home soon. I also help that while they are in the NICU you take care of yourself as much as you can❤️

[@rybo510]

BINGO “I know it could be worse” but that doesn’t negate the fact that your experience was hard. It was painful emotionally and physically.

[@dance_cheer1017]

This is the best thing I've ever heard in my entire life and I hope more people hear this

[@4lilmee]

Thank you for saying this!! Both realities can be true - it can be worse and this is still incredibly challenging and difficult! 🙌🏾

[@TheFoppoli]

Of course. I don’t think though, in this type of case she’s being hard on herself by saying it could be worse - it’s that she understands how lucky they are to have two living babies in such a dangerous situation. 💗

[@emilyrambo8683]

"somewhere in the universe, somewhere someomes got it worse, wish that made it easier, wish i didnt feel the hurt"

[@coraschantz7000]

I know this might not help much, but as a C-Section twin baby. It makes me really appreciate what you and my mom went through so much more. Thank you for sharing your story! Sending love!!

[@Justme-ep3rc]

I didnt see my son for the first 36 hours of his life. An emergency csection is traumatic. I had no one to talk to or anyone that understood what I had went through…sending you lots of love and healing ❤️‍🩹 NICU is hard, leaving the hospital without your baby is the saddest drive. You’re doing amazing Mama, one moment at a time. 💜

[@kellyarnold1719]

the way everyone cares and supports colleen that this is #1 on trending rn is literally amazing

[@a-bittersweet-tragedy0203]

And her other video is #3 🥺

[@nobita9201]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/eGqyh3SEitV7ias

[@mutantclown3447]

kzbin.info1eyGrdfNSMs?feature=share

[@美咲-w4h]

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------√√ hot.snapgirls.today/hana ❤️ ASMR GIRLS ❤️ #ライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね！１#万人を超える人が見ていたもんね（笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした！#今後は気を付けないとね5). . !💖🖤❤#今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#１万人を超える人が見ていたも ん（#笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした #今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！（ #笑）#垃圾

[@leom1757]

Honestly what’s been trending these past few days has been irrelevant and boring so I’m glad this trending

[@freedomfirst1922]

My son was a preemie. Didn’t see him for a full 24 hours after he was born. Birth was a disaster. I also almost died after from an infection. The NICU was a terrible experience. Everything about it was so tough so I feel for you Colleen! On the bright side, I got through it and my son is 7 now. He’s a sweet angel and we’re very close :)

[@daisy_maeHQ]

Absolute queen! I’m sorry you and your son went through a traumatic birth… I’m so happy you and your family now that you have overcome it, even tho it is scary to remember… xxx 🙏🏻💖

[@ann0y1n98]

Hello, how many weeks was your son when he was born? My son is at the NICU right now and he was born yesterday at 31 weeks. And I’m worried but trying to stay positive

[@saery4523]

@@ann0y1n98 how’s everything now?

[@victorianeal9369]

I’m so sorry for your experience! Prayers that you’re healing and your baby boy is doing okay too 💕

[@sandraelyse8262]

I highly recommend reaching out to your therapist and talking through everything, emergency c-sections and NICU time can be very traumatic and the effects of that can last a long time if not managed with a professional. You are doing so good, it's so hard 💜

[@amelialaird2281]

She’s gonna do that

[@shadowkissed2370]

I 💯% ❤️ this comment. It is extremely important for her to talk to her therapist.

[@amelialaird2281]

@@shadowkissed2370 I feel like she treats her audience as a kinda of therapist as well

[@deijadoo07]

I agree with this statement 100%! I'm sure she will seek therapy, but a friendly reminder is always a good idea! NICU stays are very traumatic and hard on parents!

[@amelialaird2281]

@@deijadoo07 yeah, don’t worry, she takes her mental health very seriously and will be one of her main priorities

[@ilikepizza2020]

I can’t believe the twins are actually here! Time went by so fast.

[@baretta2197]

ASMR🔞-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------🌹 Hot.snapgirls.today/Tatsuhisha?Private-Cam 💕 Special Edition For You Private Live-HDRcam✰[I WANT S€X NOW]💜 Gaze: "Amazed" Lips: "Sensual" Smile: "Sweeter" Body: "Colder" Жизнь, как красивая мелодия, только песни перепутались. #однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков #垃圾

[@megamind5261]

It did!

[@thekidwhosings4622]

Ikr

[@deeksha3181]

True..❤️

[@deeksha3181]

She told us that she was pregnant like 6 to 7 months ago and it feels like only 1 month has passed she bieng pregnant w twins...but im sure she is a strong woman and a mom..❤️❤️

[@EZbeauty]

Being able to cry and talk about all this is so good! Don’t ever try to censor or push down what you feel. Letting it all be raw will help you move through everything you’re feeling and process the situation in a healthy way. You’re doing so good! This is an emotional situation and it’s ok to be “a mess” while you go through it, thats actually the best way for your heart.

[@hernameispekka_Rebecca]

Exactly! With how fast it all happened, I'm actually impressed that she's been able to start processing it. So her crying and being in her feelings and not just in a "go-go-go" mode getting it done is so good. Such a good use of the healing time, not just for her body but for her mind.

[@geneveenash8512]

Yes this is so true. Thank you for sharing 🙏

[@giiemm2633]

This !!!!!

[@amberlefullmer2339]

Never discount your own pain by what others have gone through. There will always be that person who may have had it harder but that doesn't lessen your pain in anyway. You are so strong and it's ok to be sad and to hurt. I can't imagine what you are going through but I am amazed at how well you are doing! Sending love ❤

[@krimsmelody3265]

“To know that my babies are here in this building and not with me” broke my heart. I’m so happy you and your babies are safe. Love you Colleen

[@marleeburton3560]

The babies are still in the NICU 😭

[@kaylawestberg4611]

Oh man that broke my heart too🥺🥺🥺 I would of so givin her a hug if I was there 🥺💛💛💛

[@mutantclown3447]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/n3_dfZevisqCr5o

[@obsessedwithbluefood3502]

I’m sobbing

[@krimsmelody3265]

@@obsessedwithbluefood3502 aren’t we all

[@heyitsmecassidy]

Colleen, I may not ever want children, but when I see women like you, I see destined mothers. The way you care for your children is beautiful and I have this belief that once someone becomes a mother, they also become part superhero bc it is an insanely difficult job. I will send prayers for you during this difficult time, you’re doing amazing ❤️

[@daveymccartney215]

that’s exactly what i was thinking- colleen is so full of love and it is so beautiful seeing how much she loves her babies 🥺 she was absolutely destined to be a mother, she is just so incredible and brave. only freakin’ superheroes!

[@mikaylaphillips6226]

Hey kesley

[@andreatorres2161]

Every time someone shares the real, raw parts of their life that shows things aren't always wonderful it's such a beautiful thing. It shows people they are not alone, that it's okay to feel, and cry, and not smile. I've been watching since March 2020 and with every vlog I love you more. Colleen you are an awesome person, and an even better mom. Thank you for helping so many women, mamas, and people feel less alone. You got this honey, sending lots of love and prayers.

[@myda1984]

Couldn’t of said it any better ❤️ I agree with you completely

[@adrianaa2767]

this is something i appreciate of colleen so so much. Im not a mom and i still appreciate the realness of motherhood that she shares

[@Michelle_Lynn210]

As well as baby journals that you can write to them, I would also suggest getting those really soft teddy bears that you can put your heartbeat/and or messages with your voice in and they can keep in their beds with them while they are in the NICU and without you, then they will be able to still connect with you because they will still be comforted by hearing your heart beat and believe me when I say they know it's their Momma's heartbeat their listening too. Much love and Congrats to you all. I know it seems like an eternity but it will go by fast and they will be home with you in no time. ❤❤

[@Bella-lf3qg]

this is why colleen is my favorite youtuber

[@lauraborabeee]

Same that’s what I love most about Colleen she’s super real and raw 😊

[@Justdancethewop]

Hearing everyone story is so heartbreaking, but so powerful as well and shows how strong nicu Mamas are. Colleen, I know it may be such a hard time for you and your husband, and you have the right to express your feelings. It’s hard seeing your babies in the NICU. They will be in my prayers, that soon they will get stronger so that they can leave. So that you can have your entire family at home together. You have such an amazing support system. We're here for you no matter what. Take care of yourself ❤️

[@shannonmcgivern3898]

“They’re in boxes...clear boxes...alone and scared...” it’s so sad to hear the pain in her voice

[@Ayzlxn]

:(

[@vickilaughs]

She'll be fine.

[@leximarecek5707]

@@vickilaughs oh hush, we are aware but she is terrified. Something could go wrong and she wouldn't be able to be there, and everything can go right. It's a 50-50 chance everything can go how she wants or the total opposite. If you were a mother you'd be terrified too. There is also a thing called post-partum depression that you cant help.

[@kenziiefaith]

@@vickilaughs her babies were born 8 weeks early and they’re in the NICU. birth trauma is real & ifs scary seeing your babies in those incubators, going home without them, etc. have a heart.

[@SarahWheeleeTravels]

When she said “I’m not with any of my babies” my heart broke.

[@josuecristobaldtv]

Yeah

[@MAGICMOMENTS2040]

💖💖💖💖My Son Agreed 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

[@nicole.s9268]

when the twins watch this footage 20 years later from now they will see how much you cared for them. colleen ur doing everything you could. give it time, things will heal. everybody is so freaking proud of u and loves you so so much. my advice to u is to try and do everything u can that’s within your control. birth to twins is scary and i understand that there are so many unknowns. just remember that ur doing everything perfectly that is within your control. i love u

[@shaunak1564]

Honestly...I don't even have children and felt your emotions from this video. I love how you are so vulnerable with your followers because you realize the importance of relating to them. Keep being an amazing human, Colleen! 😊💜

[@kgarv10]

You’ve expressed a lot of feelings about the situation: it’s hard, you’re grateful they’re where they need to be, you’re sad they’re where they are, and so many seemingly conflicting feelings. All of them are true! At the same time! What you’re feeling is so so valid. I’m thinking of you and your family and praying that your little ones grow big and strong as quickly as possible. They are so lucky to be so loved by you, your family, and so many people!

[@samanthaarrington2438]

It’s the hardest thing when they’re in those “clear boxes.. alone and scared” I remember being terrified to touch my daughter, care for her because of all the cords and machines. I thought I was gonna hurt her small, fragile body. Just know you’re not alone and all of us NICU mamas are here for you! We love and support you. You are an amazing mother Colleen! Sending hugs🤍 I hope your babies get to come home soon

[@sydluvsu]

I was born a premature baby and I was also in a clear box that is called an incubator

[@amelialaird2281]

The babies aren’t scared, they are warm and safe and can smell their mama and don’t feel alone. It’s tougher on the parents than the babies

[@ashleypollitt160]

Your comment was so sweet!

[@Blueberry_Muffinrblx]

DONT WATCH MY RECENT VIDEO

[@1_2_buckle_my_shoe]

@@Blueberry_Muffinrblx don't worry I wont

[@rachelhogan9588]

I’ve never had children before, but I am very familiar with the feeling of “I know the future will be okay, but right now does not feel okay.” You are so strong and I hope you and the people around you understand that even though things will be okay, the fact that right now doesn’t feel okay is just as real and valid and raw.

[@hannahwilliams1445]

Hey girl! Oh my gosh I wish I could give you a big hug! I've been watching your videos since 7th grade choir class - now I'm 22 and have a beautiful little girl 💕 I know we've never met, but I want you to know that I care about you and your three babies 💕 This must be so hard, right now. This moment. Impossibly hard 😥 wish I was there to help 💕 You're doing amazing mama 💕

[@shanniboo402]

The clip of you recovering in the postpartum room had me crying. Not because I’m a mom and went thru this but because my sister went thru this and called me crying because she was being discharged and my niece had to be all alone in the nicu. It was the most heart breaking thing listening to her having a breakdown because she didn’t want to leave her baby 😭 it was hard trying to think of something to say when I couldn’t relate at all but I just said this was a blessing in disguise knowing you’d get some rest for the first time after being in labor for 36 hours and knowing that she was getting the best possible care. My heart is breaking for you momma but I’m so happy your babies are earth side and doing so well 💕💕💕

[@marionsicard6479]

“I’m not pregnant anymore and I’ll NEVER be pregnant again” ALL. THE. FEELS. 🤣😭

[@abbigailbizz1907]

1 year later: Colleen: I’m pregnant

[@laila-jm1qi]

@@abbigailbizz1907 this is so funny i was thinking the same

[@Girlmama1998]

@@abbigailbizz1907 I think she will be pretty content with 3 kids for awhile lol

[@tyreebruce]

I feel like she just Jynx”d herself.

[@agentxar6514]

@@abbigailbizz1907 with triplets!

[@cadencevasey851]

Jessica saying “you did it!” and being so proud when she found out the babies were born was the sweetest 🥺❤️

[@ashleyschrempp8803]

Quick and traumatic births are always glazed over with “well it’s over now and you have your baby!” …as if you didn’t just die and I don’t deserve time to digest. Take time heal and know your feelings are valid. Positive vibes.

[@lkcullen1918]

^^^

[@Emzybobs]

All of this, my boy was out of the room and to the NICU so quick,then the atmosphere changed back to normal like nothing happened and I was lay there like wtf.

[@giiemm2633]

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@Tristessa20]

Hey Colleen! I know it’s hard right now, so I’ll tell you about my little sister. She was born two and a half months early and she only weighed a pound and a half. She had to spend three months in the nicu because she was so tiny. My parents were terrified, but my sister is a fighter and is doing amazing. She has been kicking butt with everything she does. She’s currently a doctor and the head of her department at the hospital where she works. She works in pediatric pulmonology, helping babies with asthma and other respiratory issues. We could not be more proud. I know it is difficult now, but your little ones will be with you soon. They have fantastic medical care and a big, loving family waiting and rooting for them. Stay strong!

[@emriley4754]

I can’t imagine how difficult this has been but you did it, girl. You brought these babies as far as you could, they came out when they needed to, and now the doctors are there to make sure they are safe and healthy. You have done something amazing and we are so proud of you. They will be in your arms soon, sweetie. Stay strong. We are here for you ❤️✨

[@inagraham9140]

You are so kind

[@jessicajames8185]

Beautiful reply, couldn't have said it better xxx

[@penguinwithafroggyhat6498]

That’s so kind I hope you are ok!

[@elizabethashley6850]

I totally understand how she feels not having her babies with her. My son being in the NICU was the hardest thing. Having to leave the hospital without him broke me. It feels so wrong to be without this tiny baby you just grew and gave birth to. 💔 But I promise the day you bring them home will be the happiest day ever. Hang in there mama, you're doing great. 💕

[@geneveenash8512]

Beautifully said. ❤️💙💜💙❤️

[@turbosnail0311]

This was amazing 🥺🥺💖

[@nataliamalouf7533]

❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@annoyinggirlie]

That was beautiful 🥺🤍 Sorry for what happened to you you didn't deserve it glad your doing good ❤

[@SaraRG25]

I honestly wish parents could have the incubators in their room since it's so heartbreaking to be separated like that. I love u Colleen

[@BijVisualiz]

It is possible in the netherlands (also with twins). We call it neosuites.

[@mckinneypassios4273]

My hospital had hotel rooms across from the nicu that you could stay in. I had to

[@mayacarraway8953]

You can actually. My son was a 36 and 0 baby in an incubator bed in my room. The thing is, the only reason that was possible is because he was over 35 weeks gestation and could breathe on his own.

[@kawaiitoycollector]

You are so beyond strong, my mom had an emergency c section with myself and my twin sister. She said she had sm guilt and felt horrible. But when she took us home and was so emotional and happy. You are doing amazing moma ❤️❤️

[@deborahmarina2514]

I’m sure she would love seeing this comment. I hope she gets to read it. ❣️

[@siana_to]

My mom literally have the same exact thing with me and my twin sisters. Wee will always be here with you Colleen. BE STRONG

[@princessjones4953]

Can you guess this song?! kzbin.info/www/bejne/iYnRfWyugbqJa68

[@aishlingpaigehanlon1571]

She a super strong lady ❤️

[@laceyconway976]

Just like a few other people, my twin and I were an emergency c section too. I had the cord around my neck, which is why I'm the older twin, and I was also only 3lbs when born. We were in the NICU for a while and had jaundice, but we are perfectly healthy and as close as ever:)

[@DopeNationSAAN]

Seeing her so mentally and physically in pain makes me want to jump through the screen and hug her. you're so strong colleen i cant even imagine what you're going through.

[@ansleylangele2053]

Oh Coleen, just remember, one day your kids will see this, and they will see just how lucky they are. They will know a true mothers love. your heart is so pure, and I know that when they see this... it will be so inspiring to them for their own futures. You are such an inspiration to us all. Thank you Colleen. Hang in there, we are still with you :) Wishing you and your family luck and a speedy recovery. And remember, Flynn would want you to take all the time you need for his brother and sister.

[@leahbrooker6593]

In a little while, this will all seem like a little “blip” in your memories. Your babies are in the best care possible, and soon you will be able to bond with them. Right now you need to take care of yourself, get your rest and heal.

[@TheLostSoulsInitiative]

Agreed 💜 and get all the things done she didn’t have time for with their early arrival.

[@caeli-rosewhite7347]

“Saying you can’t be sad, because it could always be worse, is like saying you can’t be happy, because it could always be better” Hang in there momma. You’ve GOT this.

[@stitchingrealms]

THIS!!! All of this right here!!!

[@mutantclown3447]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/n3_dfZevisqCr5o

[@Salmakindgirlloveoutoypups4ceo]

I'm so proud of my cousin Colleen oh my God she did it yay 😁 oh my gosh 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

[@12kkhottie]

I cried so hard when you were talking about how you felt because i was there 9 months ago with my son he was born 2 months early and had to stay in the nicu for 6 weeks, it was the most awful feeling knowing i couldn't take him home or hold him right away, i cried every single time i left the hospital after going to see him, and i know there's not much comfort in these words but it gets better and at the time it feels like forever before they come home but i promise it goes faster than you think, i've been through it and tho you will never fully forget the pain you felt or get back the time you feel you lose when you have a baby or babies in the nicu you do come out stronger for it and your babies won't remember any of it they will still love you just the same, just know once they get home you won't really ever think about this time spent without them and it will come so soon you'll have them home and never have to leave them again thats what i told myself every time as i cried while i left him soon i will leave this hospital with him and never have to come back and never have to leave him again and that helped me through, sorry this is long and i don't know if you'll read this but know nicu moms are the strongest people alive we are resilient and our babies are so strong and you are not alone there are so many others that feel like you did or have felt like you do and it does get better, praying for you and your babies so they can be home with you soon!

[@013Luci]

Colleen needs to see this 💖

[@madi8178]

❤️

[@jaclynnstrawinski6626]

Boosting this. Man, I am just floored by all you incredibly strong women. So much love to you!!!

[@mommabear_Tina]

Please remember, everyone’s journey is different & how they feel & cope is different and that’s ok. Your feeling are valid, each day is just a stepping stone to the next & before you know it ur bundles of joy will be home, 💖💖💖💖💖

[@sidneyzks]

I didn’t think i would get so emotional. this made me break down in tears, holy, when you said “They’re in boxes, clear boxes, alone and scared”, that really hit, the pain and sorrow in your voice broke me, we love you Coleen. You are strong, inspiring and wonderful, we love you.

[@Mnm2021]

Absolutely

[@graciegilliland8524]

I’m so glad everyone’s safe and healthy !! Thank you for sharing this with us :))

[@baretta2197]

ASMR🔞-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------🌹 Hot.snapgirls.today/Tatsuhisha?Private-Cam 💕 Special Edition For You Private Live-HDRcam✰[I WANT S€X NOW]💜 Gaze: "Amazed" Lips: "Sensual" Smile: "Sweeter" Body: "Colder" Жизнь, как красивая мелодия, только песни перепутались. #однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков #垃圾

[@jamiesmith8259]

I feel like we are all family, I just wanna hug you Colleen... I'm crying like a fool.. Eric, is such a wonderful daddy.. Baby boy already looking around at this new world and loving his parents, baby girl will probably out grow her big brother in no time!!! May GOD bless you all!! 💙💜💙💜💙 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@mayasmith9216]

i love how she's straight out of giving birth and has her makeup done and everything. absolute queen. stay strong

[@pinkstetoscope8027]

I dont find that normal or necessary

[@KMranking]

@@pinkstetoscope8027 the comment or the makeup

[@aWholihan]

I've had 2 emergency c sections. I'm trying not to cry while I write this. I was pregnant with my first the same time as you and it was awful. It was a complete shock and I was miserable. I also had prenatal depression without realizing and some medical problems. You were the first person I saw who shared those experiences. You helped me through my pregnancy and gave me hope when you gave birth 4 months before me. My first birth was very traumatic and even though my second was also an emergency c section and definitely not what I intended, I was open to the possiblity and not in shock when it happened. Thank you for sharing your experience with us. It truly helps us cope and feel like we aren't alone. C sections are hard but you will heal and this will pass. You are strong. Thank you Colleen.

[@MrsGretchen123]

❤️❤️

[@liana-gao]

You are so strong, thank you for sharing❤️

[@lindahoffman8005]

❤️

[@aprillee4628]

My brother had a 5% change of living when he was born, spent his first year in the hospital, and first three years on a feeding tube and all. He’s 23, and just graduated college and got engaged. Time flies even when it’s hard. Really really hard.

[@weirdgirl2000]

Colleen! It is okay to mourn not being able to have all of the “regular” birth things, like not having your babies with you, not to mention all of the things that come with them being in the nicu. I’m a nicu nurse, I meet moms like you every day that I work, you mamas are the STRONGEST and most admirable I have ever seen. I know that it’s hard to be away from them right now, if there is anything that you can do to help yourself and them the most is focus on your recovery so that as the babies become more able to be held and cared for by you, you can fully be with them . I am so so sorry that you have had to experience nicu mom life, I really would not Wish it on anyone. Mourn how you can, focus on recovering and then do what you can for your babies. I love you guys, I’ve watched you for forever, i wish for you guys the best

[@pcbassoon3892]

I felt that way with my son. I still feel that way. I want so badly to be able to have a normal pregnancy and birth. We may have more because my specialist said I can, but I'm scared I will get preeclampsia again and have to go through a C-section again.

[@racommentary9661]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/hKjKnKR5eJxgrKs

[@iamita13]

NICU mom here: first of all, congrats! I almost cried when watching the birth video, I’ve been following you since you were pregnant with Flynn (had my first born on Dec 21/2018), so seeing you now with the pregnancy of your twins has been incredible. My son had some complications when he was born, so he was taken immediately to the NICU, I got to hold him for like 5 seconds before that. I saw him like 10 hours after he was born, and only because I kept asking for him, because no one would say anything (it was a really serious thing). I’m usually not emotional about things, but I got to share my room with another new mom and it killed me to hear her next to me getting to feed her newborn, hearing the nurses guide her through everything, etc etc. My baby boy had to spend almost 2 months in the NICU, the first month was the hardest because he wasn’t able to breathe on his own and that was the main thing we were waiting for (he was more than full term), the second month was easy since he was healthy and we were making sure there was nothing out of the ordinary. During all this time I had to find some type of silver lining to avoid depression and the fact that I spent the whole day in a place surrounded by sad faces, and this was it: I had the opportunity to get as much sleep as possible while recovering from the birth, when it was time for me to take care of him all day long in the hospital I was a 100% ready, he had his naps and feedings well scheduled, so it also made it easy when I was finally able to bring him home, and he had no problem when the time came to breastfeed, he actually ditched any other type of feeding once he began (that made me feel as if we recovered some time that had been lost). I know is not much, but that was something that really helped me through the whole thing, and knowing it would all be behind us once he got out of there, that I’d get to spend a whole life watching him grow and that would be nothing compared to the days/months he was in the NICU. Right now he’s as happy as can be, I’m expecting my second baby on March and I’m hoping I’ll get to experience a normal birth.

[@groovybabycass]

thank you so much for sharing, you are super woman! and congratulations on your march baby ❤️

[@Lexiebear230]

I really hope she reads this. This is wonderful ❤️

[@hollyl5702]

Wishing you and your baby a good birth experience. ❤️

[@lexicurran4567]

So proud of you for getting through this pregnancy and the birth of the twins!! They’re absolutely adorable!

[@baretta2197]

ASMR🔞-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------🌹 Hot.snapgirls.today/Tatsuhisha?Private-Cam 💕 Special Edition For You Private Live-HDRcam✰[I WANT S€X NOW]💜 Gaze: "Amazed" Lips: "Sensual" Smile: "Sweeter" Body: "Colder" Жизнь, как красивая мелодия, только песни перепутались. #однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков #垃圾

[@Lifewithbekah74]

I literally cried with you when you were talking about how real and hard it is while they’re in the NICU . My daughter was born at 33 weeks and I have ptsd and trauma from her being in the nicu .🥺❤️ it’ll be ok mama stay strong!

[@hollyl5702]

*hugs* I didn't have a NICU baby but I had a traumatic birth experience for other reasons and it took years to heal. Please know you are not alone.

[@lottiegreer6602]

So hard! How long were they in the NICU?

[@danaprovenzano3961]

Hope she is doing awesome now! It's not easy 💗. 34 weeks pregnant with my first as of tmw so I can only imagine !!!

[@AB-mx1de]

I was sobbing too. I had ptsd from my traumatic birth experience and my daughter being in the NICU. I feel for all of you. Thank you for sharing your experiences, it helps me feel not so alone. For years I couldn't even think about the day she was born.

[@hollyl5702]

@@AB-mx1de ❤️

[@italaamc9663]

I’m so proud of Colleen.. Ive seen her whole pregnancy, all the crying and frustration, the laughing, how strong she stayed and how good she was to Flynn even when she wasn’t at her best.. Now seeing her holding her twins, it was so worthy. OMG I’m so happy for her. SHE DID THAT,

[@mutantclown3447]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/n3_dfZevisqCr5o

[@theloadedpotato14]

I’m so proud of Colleen also!!!

[@RoseyArtist035]

Seeing Bailey's reaction to sharing her birthday was adorable and just thinking that her only girl cousin that she'll have for a while shares a birthday with her is so sweet. You're such a strong Mama Colleen and I'm sending prayers for their healthy and quick return or whatever you want to call it home I can't wait to see the videos of your family being able to meet your sweet little babies. Seeing Bailey with her only girl cousin will be such a sweet moment even though I know every time I see her with a new baby and makes my heart break with happiness. Keep on fighting mama you're going to do amazing with these kids and already have done everything possible to help these little ones and they are so so lucky to have such a great momma

[@ellespoonies]

I believe she has girl cousins on Jessica’s side of the family, but definitely the only (semi) Ballinger baby girl! They’re going to have such a lovely bond, especially with Bailey being the sweet motherly girl she is.

[@RoseyArtist035]

@@ellespoonies for some reason I forgot about Jessica's side of the family lol. But I couldn't agree more

NICU mom here. My son is almost 6 and such a happy, smart, loving little boy. It took me about a year before I could talk about the NICU without crying. It never leaves you, so thank you for bringing more awareness to this. I hope you heal up soon and that the time flies until the babies are home.

[@madelinemurph9330]

As someone who has watched you for 10 years, seeing you go through this breaks my heart but also so empowering, YOU ARE SUPERWOMAN, I’m so proud of you Colleen💜

[@jeremybophonejjb9497]

Actual queen; "I'll never be pregnant again, I want in-n-out so bad" lmAO

[@komninikantartzi6205]

When my daughter was born, I only got to hold her for less than a minute when she was born, and then 22 hours later. Because I had a C-section I couldn't physically go to the NICU (it was 4 floors below me and I had to get into a wheelchair to go which I couldn't do until the next day). It was so hard. I feel you Colleen. You're going through a lot right now. I hope that the times you get to hold your baby will give you the strength to stay strong when you won't be in there with you. Soon they will be home with you ❤️

[@3103-q6z]

you’re so strong! i’m sure colleen will really appreciate your story and make her feel less alone

[@komninikantartzi6205]

*babies *with you. I wrote this at night so there were mistakes there

[@molls127]

2:52 teddy's pissed he's not the baby anymore he's like "bro i was JUST born"

[@bridgetj7003]

My first was an emergency c section and I didn’t even realize how incredibly traumatizing it was until I was pregnant with my 2nd and I was absolutely terrified. I tried to have a vbac which ended in another emergency c section. I sobbed so hard. I was so out of it after both my babies came out that when I did get back to my room I had no strength to hold them. I remember saying “take her now” and I passed out. No one truly understands the physical and emotional pain unless they’ve been through it. When I see someone announce that their baby was born via emergency c section, I just can’t help but cry for them. Everyone says, “the most important thing is the baby got here safe” and yes duh, but it’s FREAKING HARD. I felt like such a wimp because I didn’t receive any validation that what I was going through was the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced. Thank you for sharing the reality of it all. I wish you a smooth recovery and that you can find peace and joyful moments even in this hard time. C-section mamas are freaking warriors. You are a warrior for your sweet babies ❤️ don’t hesitate to speak to a counselor or therapist about this experience so you can process it all. It’s traumatizing and all your pain and struggle is valid.

[@mutantclown3447]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/n3_dfZevisqCr5o

[@courtneyowens6362]

When my daughter was born my husband took her into the nursery so I could take a nap. I couldn't sleep, I just kept smelling her hat and crying. Thinking about how she was so close, but so far. I cannot imagine the NICU experience. You are all so, so strong! So happy for all of those beautiful moments you're spending together ❤️

[@robbydoll1]

You got this girl! My friend… who is also randomly named colleen… just had twins too! She had them at almost 31 weeks due to her having kidney failure from pregnancy. The boys had to stay in the nicu for a month. It was so hard for her, but the boys are super strong now and thriving! You got this girl. We love you!

[@madelinegarber7860]

This sounds so scary. But you’re so strong and your babies were born under the best care to the most loving family. My mom had c sections with both of us. I was 5 weeks early and was 4 lbs 6 oz. My mom had preoclampsia and they tried to induce her, but my heart rate dropped too low so c section it was. You were so brave.

[@Salmakindgirlloveoutoypups4ceo]

I know right I'm at the hospital with Colleen she's holding my arm right now

[@peace4111]

I still can’t process the fact that we have a video with “birth” and “twins” in the title, congratulations Colleen and Erik!! ❤️

[@pineappledinosinspace]

I love Colleen: she was still hooked up and had just had her stomach cut open..."I want In-N-Out so bad!"

[@kaarelysg4]

Stomach? 🤣

[@dafne2137]

More like abdomen, stomach is something else lmao but it gets the point across

[@MsCloudnumber9]

her guts did in fact go in-n-out

[@NicoleePalmer]

My sister had her baby boy at 24 weeks, he’s been back home for a month now, and he’s doing great but still on low oxygen at this time, your babies will be okay to, the fact that baby boy is breathing fine in his own is great news, baby girl will get there, and hopefully it doesn’t take as long as my nephew You’re smashing it Colleen, don’t let it put you down, they will be fine with this new technology ❤️❤️

[@liamolema1642]

I really wasn't expecting to get so emotional, when you said "They're alone in boxes, clear boxes, alone, scared" , really hit so hard. I just think you are so strong and just remember they will be ok and will grow up to be loving, brave (like you), and beautiful. I was just sobbing when i saw you cry. Stay brave Colleen. 💗💗

[@laylanorris1742]

My brother was born with his umbilical cord around his neck and my mum wasn’t allowed to see him for days…. Colleen your a mom and every woman around the world should be so proud that their bodies are able to do what they do. Keep living and dong amazing things 💖💖💖💖

[@milkybabyteeth4851]

me and brother are twins so i don’t actually remember what it was like but my brother had the cord wrapped around his neck and he was purple

[@ellie-bd2gk]

That open conversation from Colleen where she was crying literally broke my heart. I was crying with her, I can’t even imagine what she was going through. Sending so much love Colleen 🤍

[@racommentary9661]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/hKjKnKR5eJxgrKs

[@mblabezza]

I’m sobbbbbing

[@penelopeballard5456]

I felt the same way when I had my son. When they took him to the NICU was heart breaking. I didn't get to find out how much he weighed or anything until the next day. My husband got me a stuffed bear to hold and sleep with since I couldn't hold him for a few days. Prayers for all of you 💕

[@kellydonley3681]

I had twins last year and I just wanted to say that you are so brave for sharing this raw and real experience. My biggest fear was for them to be taken away and have to spend time in the NICU. That wasn't my experience and I will forever be immeasurably grateful for that. I was sobbing while watching you talk about being away from your babies because just the thought of it hurts so much. Your babies did seem to be very strong and healthy so I hope they get to come home with you very soon. My heart is with you. Also, having a C-section, twins, breastfeeding... It's no joke. You are going through a LOT and you need to go easy on yourself. That guilt you felt when baby girl needed you is going to happen a lot. There's just not enough of you to go around the way you want, but take a breath and know that you are doing the absolute best job you can and your babies are loved beyond measure and that's all that matters. Sorry this comment got away from me. I just want you to know that you aren't alone ♥️

[@sgholt92]

I love that the oldest and youngest girl in the family share a birthday. It's so special

[@MeganWhamGMfan]

HOW BRILLIANT riiiight?

[@charlenedotsim8890]

6:17 This made me go and hug my mom. I appreciate you sharing this with us because I don't know the feelings of being a mother, but this definitely puts it into perspective. So, thank you for showing this raw moment in your life. Stay strong mama

[@Salmakindgirlloveoutoypups4ceo]

I can't charlendotsim I'm with Colleen at the hospital

[@sdowd2012]

I’m a triplet and former 4lb NICU baby. My sister had to spend longer in the NICU than my brother and I with jaundice. The hospital was also about 45 minutes away from home to add to the struggle. We are all healthy and successful 28 year olds now. Forever grateful for those doctors and nurses who brought us into the world and kept us in it💕 sending all the love, you got this

[@amyrod8]

Oh Colleen, I just had flashbacks. I literally cried with you. I had my twins at 32 weeks as well. Was the hardest experience I’ve ever had to go through. I’d do my best to go see them everyday. And I had two other little ones at home so as much as I wanted to stay with them all day I couldn’t. It’s so rewarding to see the great job the nurses do. My girls were there 2 months. They were supposed to Xmas babies but they were born on Halloween. It’s hard but be strong for them. And it’ll be tough at first when they go home but it gets better. I love it. Congratulations Colleen.

[@sarahtherandom]

Wait why did I start crying when you told Bailey they were born on her birthday?? I'm just so happy 😭❤

[@serenabedin1166]

you're not the only one!!! 😭❤️

[@hutchyyy6444]

Thank you, colleen, for showing the low and vulnerable moments. This can help a lot of other mothers. We are taught that pregnancy and birth and post partum should be a time of joy and peace, but at the end of the day, that isnt the case for so many women. The more we talk about how hard pregnancy and post partum can be, especially when things dont go to plan, the less isolating it will feel.

[@damianehanda3157]

When you shared that raw clip of you in pain emotionally and physically, I just wanted to give you the biggest hug. You are so brave and those babies are strong and I am sending you all my love and strength.

[@morganmcgee8077]

Colleen, first I want to thank you for being so open about the negative emotions. My son was born emergency csection at 26 weeks. He spent 7 months in the NICU due to difficulty eating, a brain bleed which lead to a hemorrhage and oxygen dependency. He made slow progress, had many surgeries, and my heart broke every day because I felt like I should have been able to protect him until birth. He proved after being born at 1lb 15oz that he is so strong. Your babies have more strength than you know & you are doing amazing already. Our NICU nurses loved and wanted parent participation as soon as it was safe. I was also told that it would be a rollercoaster right after his birth. Some great days and some not great days. So if you ever fall into that situation know you are not alone. Also, see if you’re comfortable or would like help talk to your hospital social worker or NICU staff can get you connected with a therapist. Mine jumped for me and I was able to be connected throughout our NICU stay with one and I have one post NICU as well. PTSD from the trauma of an Emergency C-Section can sneak up on you. Also, NICU experience alone is trauma and you deserve to know all your resources.

[@morganmcgee8077]

Also, I cannot imagine the pain of leaving your baby at home to fight for and with your new babies.

[@mallory9567]

Colleen is one of the strongest people in the world. The fact that she is documenting this and showing all of her emotions. Wow Colleen thank you so much and we are all so proud of you ❤️

[@Gmrgrl-mb5np]

Colleen, I had my twins via c section and i felt so empty when I had didn’t get to see them for a few hours after the birth. And I cried so hard when I was pumping for them that night bc I couldn’t be with them. And I know the medical team was so supportive on trying to keep me focused on healing so I could be with them. I tried to focus on the joy that they were okay and in order for them to thrive I have to focus that part of my time on myself so I could be there for them. My twins came at 3 days short of 36 weeks and they were 5 lbs 3 oz and 5 lbs 5oz. I had to have a c section bc my baby boy, baby B was breech and they worried about him coming out breech. The biggest risk was me. I was severely anemic that they were really concerned about blood loss with me. Thankfully everything went fine during the procedure. There were no complications with the twins except that they had to learn to feed. If you see this Colleen, the one advice that I’m sure you’ll get from the nurses is to keep them on the same schedule. It really does make your life easier. My daughters schedule changed bc she had a life threatening event happen at 5 months and it’s kind of fuzzy trying to get them back on the same schedule. Lol! The ending of your video. I made a lot of milk too. It’s amazing how our bodies know to make so much milk when we have multiples.

[@gl6125]

6:44….i cried with you, you’re such a good mom! Natural feelings of a mom being away from her babies. I know this feeling too. my son’s nicu stay was short lived but it wasn’t easy!

[@kewlie2249]

Same - it’s proof she’s a great mom

[@lottieglendinning4260]

The little clip of you in the postpartum room is so real and completely understandable, this will pass and you’ll all be okay and together soon but it’s allowed to be hard right now

[@izabellawegmann9670]

I can not imagine what a roller coaster of emotions you’re feeling right now. I’m so proud of you, your are the stongest woman I know. I hope that your family recovers soon. Sending my blessings

[@jessicadoherty9060]

I remember very vividly walking out of the hospital without my son after I gave birth, carrying the baby seat. Empty. Everyone was looking at us bc I was inconsolable. I was ready to sleep in the chairs in the waiting room all night. I didn't want to be away from him. Glad I took my moms advice and went home to rest. Let yourself feel your feelings. They are very valid and probably very intense right now. That's okay. What got me through was knowing he was getting around the clock care with 24/7 attention and that it was only a matter of time until he got stronger and able to come home with us. That was 13 years ago. I still remember like it was yesterday. And the fact you care this much and you feel the way you do just means u are an amazing mom! Praying and talking about it with loved ones got me through it. 💜

[@SarahABarnhard]

My mom used to volunteer holding premies in the NICU and when I made her watch your birth video she said “Oh 4 pounds? They’re gonna be fine!!” They’re beautiful, congrats ❤️

[@datgaydangernoodle1315]

Awww ❤️

[@heatherp5454]

"Nah, I don't know how to chill" nothing more true has ever been uttered. I felt that to the core

[@ellenfrankspeechtherapy]

From one NICU twin mom to another, once a NICU mom ALWAYS a NICU mom! There is no pain like it in the world. It’s like your heart is beating outside of your body in TWO different little boxes. I can relate completely 100% to all of your emotions. It has taken me two years to just begin to get over that trauma. It is traumatic and I think the best thing I could do for myself was eat whatever the heck I wanted and cried whenever I needed to (which was a lot!) Just know that those babies know YOU are their mother! You are their medicine. No nurse, no doctor, no medicine compare to the way you make those tiny babies feel. Welcome to the amazing, strong, superhero club of being a twin NICU mom!!! You and those babies are superheroes and will come out on the other side being stronger than ever! But for now, just know that all of your emotions are so valid and you are going through an extremely traumatic, life altering, painful time. There is so much good and joy but there is just as much pain and sadness and that is SO hard to deal with! It can be isolating because as much as people try to understand, you are the one experiencing ALL the feelings and trauma. I wish I could hug you!! Sending you ALL of my twin mom love, Colleen!!!! ❤️❤️

[@allisonrosinski1264]

My heart!!!! Former NICU mom here crying with you! Thanks for sharing your feelings, tears, and story.

[@kbzw]

Rest up Colleen. Your babies are in great hands and will be home with you in no time. Time always flies by so fast. One day you'll look back and remember how tiny they were and what you went through to get them here. 32 weeks is amazing. And you did it! You brought 3 little perfect humans into the world. Proud of you!

[@katiea2228]

Colleen: “I’m never getting pregnant again” Didn’t she say that after Flynn? Look what happened! 😂

[@Zaneika]

Literally haven’t seen her channel since her first birth & I’m so surprised, confused & happy for her

[@katiea2228]

@@Zaneika all I’m saying is that she better watch her mouth or it’ll be triplets next 🤣

[@Emily_urgle]

Yea but honestly 3 kids is allot of work one more is heelllll

[@d3ndr0ph1l3]

She did say that but I’m pretty sure in her pregnancy announcement video for these babies she said she was excited because she had a miscarriage sometime after Flynn

[@elizabethbyrd4920]

@@d3ndr0ph1l3 excited?

[@valeskasln]

The best way to protect your children is to stop posting their faces on social media. #stopsharenting!!!!!

[@laurenj4174]

I also delivered early with an emergency C-section. That feeling of helplessness and sadness that your babies are no longer where you can keep them safe is heart braking. But the NICU team is awesome and they ate getting stronger so they can come home. I promise that the pain and heart break will go away but right now it's really hard and you are so strong and incredibly Mama! Love to you and your whole family.

[@sngray11]

The hardest part of having premie babies is that you don’t get to bond with them 24/7 at the beginning. 💔 My sister-in-law is a NICU nurse and I know that your twins are getting all of the TLC that they need right now. 💞 I am sending prayers and positive thoughts your twins and your way. Before you know it, Erik and you will be home with all three of your beautiful, incredible children. 💗

[@mutantclown3447]

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[@francismbuthia804]

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[@huseyindemircan7204]

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[@Abby-wn6jv]

Nicu mama here, I felt this pain so deep in my heart! I was crying with you. It is SO SO SO HARD. One of the hardest things to experience as a mother. You got this mama!

[@kristinagood5927]

The part when you talked about how grateful you are that your babies are doing well, but how hard it is to not have them in your room with you really hit home for me. My son was born prematurely and I remember feeling the exact same way. I had preeclampsia so they had me on a magnesium drip and would not let me go see my son for 24 hours after he was born. I just so vividly remember hearing other peoples babies crying while in postpartum and not having mine and just sobbing. You are so strong. You WILL get through this! Congratulations on your beautiful babies!

[@angelNoll10]

Thank you so much for sharing your experience, Colleen. I work in a NICU as a unit secretary so I see parents in the same situation every day. It's not easy for any parent to see their baby in a NICU hooked up to all these machines and worrying about when or if they will be able to take them home. You are so strong and I am thankful you aren't afraid to talk about real and painful life experiences. Btw your babies are so precious ❤