WHAT I WAS LIKE BEFORE ANOREXIA - A BIT ABOUT ME - STORYTIME - ANOREXIA RECOVERY

[@gemma3099]

You should do a challenge whereby you eat how you did when you were younger! You talk about eating what your mom brought you up for breakfast, what she made you for lunch. Get your mom to make your old favourite foods and eat your fave childhood snacks! Keep pushing 💖

[@Hannah-on3wj]

Gem L Yes! I’m actually going to do that too :)

[@rimaruttempest6109]

This would be awesome! A challenge could be to eat peanut butter/ Nutella out of the jar🤣☺️😁

[@kecrn4132]

Bugs, plants, n spellbooks - I don’t think that is something “normal” that most people do.....

[@rimaruttempest6109]

Kelly Cannon um... have you not watched elzani’s videos? She has mentioned how she used to eat Nutella and PB out of the jar when she was a kid. It’s a very normal and fun thing to do.

[@rimaruttempest6109]

Kelly Cannon I was just going off the childhood theme. The freeness of the way a kid eats is unmatched. They have no perceptions of “i shouldn’t be eating this” and that’s a really good mindset to get into during recovery - the “childlike” fun with food, making food something that isn’t super serious or scary, just being completely unrestricted with food.

[@bigkahunaburger1782]

you always talk in such a nostalgic, sad way about the childhood foods you ate and the things you used to be. it´s actually quite common in anorexia patients to be scared to move on from childhood I think... if you aren't seeing a therapist who is not focused on the nutritional side of your disorder, but rather what is going on inside your mind, I hiiiiighly recommend you try to find one. You have to realize how great the future and the future you can be!!

[@hemimaraetai2177]

yeah, I remember at this age finding it really freeing to realize that "recovery" didn't mean returning to how I was, because the me that I remembered was a child, and I was growing into adulthood--instead of lamenting the me I had lost I had to try and get myself excited for the adult I would become.

[@monique5238]

loving the super frequent uploads elzani. they have been helping me tremendously. thank you ❤️

[@MayimHastings]

consistently a failure IKR! 🙏🤗😘💨

[@monique5238]

Tay Leigh hehehe... not for long though!! hopefully soon i’m consistently awesome and recovered 😂

[@MayimHastings]

consistently a failure 😬 You REALLY need to change your name... unless you want it to be true, which I doubt. Please give yourself a screen name that you deserve! Please! In the meantime - whoop 🙌 whoop! Cheering for you 📣🏆🎖🥇🏅🎺🤸🏾‍♀️🎊🎉💃🏾👯‍♀️💜😘💨

[@echtmirthe]

Hi Elzani, could you make a video your mom and let her talk about how she noticed that you got an eating disorder? If you and her feel comfortable with it of course. Thanks for making awesome videos!

[@finkpanik]

I love your snackchats 💕 💕 💕 I think people like us with anorexia would have more successful recovery and less relapses if anorexia was genuinely seen or treated like the mental disorder it is! Just because it manifests itself as severe food control and food anxiety doesn’t mean we can be cured just by “eating more”! The food isn’t the problem, it’s the fear of failing, the need to succeed, the compulsion to make things “right”, the self-doubt (feeling like you’re not good enough), anxiety, OCD, and voices in your head!

[@veve7349]

Everytime you upload, I get the notification on my phone and see a picture of you smiling on your thumbnail like a little surprise, and I always smile back.

[@ttdfanforlife]

Yes your sisters are amazing but you are just as amazing as they are. You are so kindhearted and you are beautiful. Once you get better and get your mind better too, you'll realize how amazing you are. I hope it's sooner than later. I hate seeing you struggle. I think we all have things in our life that we struggle with because nobody's perfect, we just have to get through the struggles. You're doing very well at fighting it. Keep going girl and get that bum you want lol. Much love to you!!!

[@francesca2341]

Challenge yourself to do two portions of every meal that day 2 breakfasts/double lunch/double dinner

[@jiajcho]

Francesca amazing idea

[@cinnamon3174]

Don’t leave out snacks tho!

[@crohsapien]

I feel like that would be difficult, even for a regular big eater :/

[@kittyscat8905]

Francesca i hope she just puts weight on healthy and does not get pushed into unhealthy habits

[@crohsapien]

@@kittyscat8905 Yeah, challenging yourself to eat fear foods or old childhood favorites is one thing, but challenging yourself to eating unusual amounts is another.

[@pouriaabadsafian]

*I'd love to see a Q&A with your mum!* What inspired your amazing names? Advice for other parents hemping their children in recovery? Best lessons that life has taught you? How was living in Cyprus? Hope you see this x

[@kykkelikokos]

Pi V I second this! As a mom myself to a little girl, I want to hear how she first saw the signs and if she have some tips about what us as parents can do. She's obviously raised such smart and happy girls and have a good home. And I also love her more straight to the case attitude with Elzani's disease. So loving and also so straight to the point. I really love that.

[@samanthavictor4193]

I would love to see this too! Their names are South African and pretty common here in the Afrikaans community 😊

[@robynerrington-coates2152]

Hearing you talk through your thought process in buying the bagel thins is so relatable. I have literally stood there staring at the normal bagels and thin ones in the supermarket for ages having a crisis over which ones to buy... but now I eat the normal sized sesame ones all the time!! They’re just the BEST - the thins ones just can’t compete! Great video xo

[@throughrose-colouredeyes6284]

worry less about what others think about you, and more about what you think about yourself. 💛🌼 you are enough. not too little, nor too much. i loved this elzani. you're such a beautiful and pure soul. i'm sure your sisters look up to you in ways you don't even know.

[@nahidaparveen9524]

You have come so far Elzani in your journey. It's so hard and sometimes such a struggle but your perseverance is commendable. You will get through this and come out stronger with the support of your family and your KZbin subscribers. We are rooting for you all the way! ❤

[@josielockyer6351]

Thanks for making this!! I think it would be really worth it for you to get some help from a good psychologist to help figure out the root cause for developing the disorder because without knowing exactly why it started, even if you get better, it’s easy to fall into relapse.

[@fionakarin9248]

soooo true ;-*

[@kecrn4132]

Josie Lockyer - a lot of people never know why they developed anorexia....and they are able to recover just fine!! I think a therapist is important for sure tho.

[@kittyscat8905]

Josie Lockyer at least she has us so its not like shes doing it alone and we give insites and support

[@Hazeydaze92]

@@kecrn4132 Very true, mental health problems can sometimes have a cause, but they can also just exist for no reason, just like a physical illness can.

[@froggy8814]

i love your little heart to heart snack chats ❤️ thanks for another upload

[@kristingauthier9473]

I really like this channel. It's real. The footage is raw. Furthermore, it really shows you how recovery isn't all rainbows and unicorns. That takes alot of courage. Recovery takes alot of courage. To go on camera, have a breakdown, to cry, to sob, to just be real with the eating disorder is something I know I don't think i could do. Why? Because even tho i go thru much of the same feelings, thoughts, and actions, I don't think i could muster up the courage to film it. To show the world my ugly cry. Its personal, its private. But you, Elzani should be proud. Proud that you are helping so many ppl on different levels. You invite us into your life to see what is going on within your head even when you think you've eaten too much, or if you have too many fries. You show us what your eating disorder is whispering in your ear. And chances are, mine is whispering the same thing into my ear. That is important. You are not alone. Ppl dont fight ED alone. Theres a big network of us that have to fight our own minds every day and that in itself is a full time job. Your constantly at war, fighting the thoughts. However, even tho the whispers are there chanting dont eat that you will get fat, you've had too much today, compensate etc you still manage to eat the food. That in itself is a challenge conquered. That is a big deal worth celebrating. You shut the ED down, did opposite actions, sat with some guilt, but tomorrow you will do it again and the thoughts will be less invasive. Ed's are not meant to be easy. Recovery is not meant to be easy. But, we can do this. I've had an an ED for well over a decade and for the past 2 months I have finally managed to wrap my head around this recovery process. I'm trying new foods, tasting food, becoming more sociable, and actually enjoying life when at one time my life was full of eating disorder rigidities, rules, thoughts of food, and anxiety over get togethers involving food. Life is meant to be lived. Live the life you want to live. That saying holds alot of truth. The ED will not provide me with the life I love or want to live. Instead It will provide me with rules, odd behaviours, and a sense of loneliness. I have wasted so much if my life being consumed and suffocated by this disease. This disease suffocates you. It takes the life out of you. It makes you miserable. It has stolen so many good memories, dreams, and intentions that I had for myself. And what do I have to show for this? Nothing. I have nothing to show for the past decade that the eating disorder was in control. Well no more. I am in control and this ED can piss off. Is that scary? Sure it is. Will it be uncomfortable? Absolutely. Will I want to quit? Probably. Why? Because the ED is my safe place. The only thing I've ever known. To enter into a world of change is scary. But I will do it. I will conquer. I will rise. I can do this. We all can do this. I'd like to thank you for these inspiring videos. Always a fighter, never a victim! You've got this!❤❤

[@alexjones9763]

Don’t worry about the reason behind your eating disorder. You don’t need to know it to recover. As you nutritious your body and brain things will become clearer - your anxiety will ease and any anxiety you have (as everyone does) you will be strong enough to cope with. Thank you for your videos, they are so helpful and encouraging for me, and the reason why, after being stuck in ‘coping’ stage, I’m finally pushing further forward. You are more than enough, and deserve so much 🧚‍♀️

[@junejustjune4244]

oh sweetie you really need to try Pb and jelly on a bagel or banana and PB and cinnamon 💓 Or you know what?😍 You can challenge yourself and eat for breakfast porridge!❤️

[@TIDoubleGuhEr]

"Because obviously I was amazing" Yes! You are! Absolutely stunning person!

[@crohsapien]

Hey Elzani! Loving the snack chats! You've also got to try cream cheese and jam together on a bagel. It's like cheesecake :D

[@SuperMisspixie]

cream cheese and strawberry jam was one of my anorexia recovery foods! (on homemade bread) ;)

[@crohsapien]

@@SuperMisspixie Haha yes!! I was vegan for many years, so I completely forgot what dairy tasted like, although I always knew that I used to love cheesecake. When I tried a little sample of cream cheese after so many years, I was in love lmao. Strawberry jam and cream cheese is life :)

[@lottie8642]

I'm watching your videos from my hospital bed and you are so beautiful and inspiring! ❤️ Thank you for giving me the courage to start recovery and get myself back on track no matter how hard it seems ❤️ your video really hit home especially since I have a younger sister. Thank you so much elzani! ❤️ I hope you continue to make videos and make progress with your recovery! You are amazing! ❤️✨xx

[@Zenithxblack]

I loved this story time/snack chat so much! I'm sitting over here with tears in my eyes because of how genuine and kind hearted you are. Thank you for sharing these parts of your life with us!

[@eloiselilly3134]

I absolutely love your videos! I watch every single one and I think that you are amazing! I don't have an eating disorder, but when I was younger (I'm 19 now) I got really bad depression when my dad left. Watching you recover reminds me of how I used to feel, and how far I have come. It makes me so happy to see you doing well! I watch all your videos right to the end, because I jest love listening to you. I'm at uni now, away from my family. And I'm not going to lie it can get really lonely. But you give me comfort, I know it sounds weird, and I can't really explain why. But you just do! Lots of love Ellie xx

[@vivienderkics997]

you made me start recovery

[@linnea8143]

vivien derkics me too💓

[@chloewhiteley4009]

Me too

[@ellychamberlain465]

Me too. I’ve decided to try because of you elzani

[@flaca3908]

sameeee

[@Alyssav90]

I recovered from anorexia and got into binge, but now I'm healthily losing weight up to a healthy weight, this is exactly how I feel rn. Thank so much, you seem like a light

[@AubrieLynnx18]

You need to not think about having two for the price of one. You need the calories of MANY. Have as much as you want, your body needs it. Literally, anything you want you can eat and as much of it. It will only help you. Every bite you take is so good for you

[@leslieyascencio]

Great video! I like how you went over your family history. It’s very sweet!

[@MayimHastings]

I was worried about your cereal going soggy the whole time when it didn’t even have milk on it 😂. You are so full of life now, sweetheart! Knockin’ em dead! You do such an amazing job at voicing what has gone without a voice thus far. You are so incredibly encouraging and comforting. 😘💨

[@danaklamecki8820]

I love all the uploads and this snack chat!! Thank you for sharing a bit about your background. Your family is amazing and SO ARE YOU. You and your recovery are so inspirational. Keep up the good work!!

[@jessmilton2595]

You should do a week challenge where you have the same meals as one of your sister x

[@LightofLotus]

You should do a couple of q&a's, one with your parents or your mum and one with sisters if they're comfortable and maybe we can ask them questions about what they think about you and your ed? And they thoughts they had when it was developing and when you were ill/now vs being well.

[@sarahboras2621]

You should go back to eating with a bigger spoon! Also pb and jam on a bagel! Or honey and butter!

[@beautifulmitchell]

Honey and butter is very delicious.

[@kecrn4132]

Peanut butter and honey!!

[@Hazeydaze92]

@@kecrn4132 My fave! Have it on my toast most mornings!

[@moonflower9566]

I am so ecstatic about all these videos you been doing!!! ty so much! :) ♡

[@no1Animallover101JAB]

This I can relate soooooo muchhh to! I regret so much of my life how it was taken away by my ED! My nana just passed away and it’s been upsetting me more about how much of my time I spent with my ED then her! Your doing amazing hun but you need to get away from calories and numbers you’ll never recover if your thinking about calories

[@no1Animallover101JAB]

Ashley Hashimoto hi um I’ve had an eating disorder for 2 years ended up in hospital with a collapsed lung fully recovered so um I THINK I know ok! I was just saying to her x

[@gabriellelynch7689]

Ashley's comment is the most uninformed retarded advice ever 😂

[@gabriellelynch7689]

@Ashley Hashimoto oooooh look at Ash getting defensive. Ashley, quite frankly im done with your trolling. Also it's "you're an idiot" (irony!). Go watch some more PaulAnkaTV and leave me alone. I'm too busy for you. Tah babe

[@gabriellelynch7689]

@Ashley Hashimoto 😂😂😂 *you're *you're *piss off *you're You're welcome xx

[@gabriellelynch7689]

@Ashley Hashimoto says the girl who liked a video called Huntingtons - Annie's Anorexia 7 YEARS AGO

[@yofam7174]

Omg this made me smile, proud of you!!

[@hannahrr366]

This is was so sweet! Thankyou for sharing more of your story💕

[@Chloedeegerz]

Wow thanks for giving us such an insight into your life Elzani! That was a great snack 💖

[@sarahcunningham2046]

your videos make my day. Im so proud of you too hun xo

[@jazzburkitt123]

It was as wonderful to hear so much about your life! I related to so much! I love how honest you are about the reality of Ed’s that’s what the community needs, openness and reality, communication and all the ups and downs of living with eds\disordered eating and mental health problems. I’ve struggled for such a long time but you inspire me to try new and scary foods and am setting myself challenges to have the foods I avoid, restrict, over control etc and to finally really start opening up about my long history of Ed’s, mental health problems and confidence issues. My life has always been vey unsettled and I’m trying so hard to get into a routine of proper self care and I’m trying reconnect\connect properly and wholely to my loved ones and the world around me and let go of all my Ed’s habits, anxieties, fears, controls etc but it’s so much harder than I thought it would be and it’s all hitting me how complicated and deeply engrained my issues are. You give me so much hope for the future, thank you for sharing your life with us. You are Devine!

[@sophiesheffield121]

This video was like listening to my thoughts that i find it incredibly hard to vocalize. Thank you for making me realize im not alone, Hope fully we can beat this together xox best of luck, stay strong !

[@Turrzan]

You're already looking better than you used to! Keep it up I'm so excited for your future

[@kaceycorless8914]

Look forward to your videos everyday you inspire me everyday. Your the kindest and most loving soul ever! You have such a supportive family!💓

[@xxAmyliaxx1xx]

Awww Elzani I love your memories...… they're what matter in life not our silly Eds xxxx

[@jadejeffree7258]

Everytime I'm cooking dinner and tasting it I do the Elzani happy dance!. I'm 39 and still enjoy coco pops!.Great video I liked it.Every video you are glowing and you are a positive role model for people with E.d's.

[@ladyhayley4859]

Something well documented with eating disorders is the lack of self compassion. We tend to not be very kind to ourselves, or forgiving. We have to learn to speak to ourselves like we are a compassionate friend.

[@nicolajones4834]

Keep going your doing a great job ! You can beat this illness don't let it beat you and destroy your life I have lost nearly 20 years of my life to anorexia it's a wicked illness. when your ed is trying to change your mind on meal choices or your thinking you might have too much the ed voice is screaming at you because you are killing it make sure you do my lovely don't let it destroy you! Another tip get rid of any 'sick' or loose clothes now because they won't help you further on down the line they will only make you doubt recovery or make you extremely anxious! Get your life back your doing so so well x x 💜

[@AiiCii]

Loved this video, made me cry. You're amazing Elzani

[@mpvt]

My favourite video so far. Really nice to know more about you x your ED doesnt define you hun xxxx just remember that xxx

[@sarahmockingbird6433]

You still have a sense of humour Elzani. I could relate to the way you were before the eating disorder. I was also a swimmer and would totally work myself up prior to competitions.

[@Maisie.Meehan]

i know what you mean about pushing people away. At the worst of my eating disorder I got so irritable because I was just tired and hungry all the time; I got annoyed at friends and family if they were eating something that I had told myself I wasn't allowed. It was the worst my relationship with my parents has ever been and I hope it never goes back there again. It even got to the point where if anybody commented on my weight (positively or negatively) I thought my mum was going around telling people to say that.

[@sofiastar2933]

yes same here.. it makes me so angry cos its like she tells people she says that.

[@td2884]

When will you decide to specifically address the anxiety? You've just described severe and long-term anxiety in this video. Choosing to recover and maintain health will require you to address the anxiety (depression) with skilled help.

[@paulop3730]

Even if she recovers, she could release. I know what it’s like.

[@denisser8067]

Keep on pushing Elzani, you have such a beautiful soul 💞

[@francesca2341]

I got told that if I swallowed chewing gum my bum would stick together 😂

[@ellabrkovic]

i used to think it would get stuck in my stomach along with hundreds of other gum from ages ago that i accidentally swallowed and it would be a huuuge ball of sticky gum inside of me which could cause me to.. well..die.. 😂

[@bbghoul_x]

😂😂😂😂💀💀

[@shiftingrealities4213]

Oh gosh the things we are told, as kids and the ideas we create from little knowledge, are so funny 😂💖

[@bridiemaxwell7391]

I was told if you swallow watermelon seeds a watermelon would grow in your stomach. However I think my friends parents take the trophy for telling their daughter (my friend) that the ice cream van only plays music when they are out of ice cream and have none left! How cruel!

[@jasmineyates7214]

that was such a heartwarming video xxx

[@noseandmouthbreather5048]

You encouraged me to eat that extra piece of cake! It was DIVINE! Thank you

[@kittyscat8905]

💘 your channel been watching for 5 months. I like most about you is how you and your family a great roll modle

[@eligam7371]

I agree with shiningsky, you have a fantastic supportive family, your videos are captivating and you are so clever at the way you are challenge yourself. I am not a professional but just consider to see a nutritionist or/and therapist if you are not already they could make things easier, thanks for posting :)

[@megmellas6887]

Omg love the spice girls reference! LMAO! And again proud of your choices mad em happy to see you choose the sesame bagel as well!

[@popsidoodle10]

It's so hard, but it's so worth it! You'll be your true self and make fun memories and be carefree again. There's so much to look forward to.

[@LightofLotus]

Love hearing all your memories and stories and getting to know you better. The real Elzani. I'm the youngest of three sisters and my thought processes and quite similar to yours. My ed has taken so many years from me. Please don't let that happen to you. Your amazing and have so much to live for.

[@Ulrike121]

Elzani! Have you tried the crunchy version of the spread? It's sooooo tasty!

[@elzani6744]

Ulrike I haven’t but Alisha said it’s better than smooth, and so many people like it! I think I’ll have to try it!

[@danaklamecki8820]

The crunchy version is AMAZING. I think it’s so much better than the smooth

[@amystubby]

We heart your snack chats, Elzani. 💙

[@angietrif]

Id love to see a recovery update like where u are and to talk about how far you've come!

[@Grimella92spice]

“Tell you what I want, what I really really want...sesame seed bagel”. MOOD

[@moonbuns3934]

youre doing so well you should be so proud of yourself

[@troy7328]

You are a great story teller. The chewing gum story had me laughing so hard it brought tears and a snort LOL..Have a good day Elzani.

[@panagiotadrakontaeidi7624]

Short hair would suit you sooooooo muchhhhh

[@elzani6744]

Penny Drako really?!

[@panagiotadrakontaeidi7624]

@@elzani6744 Absolutelyyyy...amd i think you would be more care free and comfortable with like a shoulder length haircut...But either way you re beautiful!❤❤

[@moonshine814]

A year later... But I agree 💗

[@ProbablyBees]

As a fellow ED sufferer, it's amazing what anorexia steals from you without you even really noticing it. There isnt much I remember beyond being very sad during the worst of my experience. I spent so much time and even now I spend so much time thinking about food. I hope one day I can eat without thinking a out it like I used to.

[@shellbysmith3479]

I just love elzani actually love your whole family you should do more videos is am am older than your mum and going through my 3rd bout with anorexia its so hard watching you do what you do is wonderful your mum is amazing with you you have so much support you a very lucky girl much love hugs and kisses

[@nialambe2776]

you should definitely try peanut butter and chocolate spread on the same side of bagel when you feel like really pushing yourself. tastes amazing!!!

[@SurlyMiss]

I wonder if biscoffs (not sure the spelling) is the same as cookie butter in the states? It looks the same. So yummy. So proud of you I've binge watched your old videos from the start and you've come so far.

[@hollychantelle4467]

Biscoff is like a caramelised biscuit spread. A little like Cookie butter but I personally say biscoff is much tastier!!

[@theonethatgotaway680]

I really enjoy listening to you talk. I’d love to hear you play your guitar, can you make a video where the focus is not on food? Just wonder if that’s something you might consider?

[@MissMe-mc7qb]

I can relate so mutch to this video. And you are a big inspiration for me to recover also. And you are a amazing person ❤️❤️

[@luckygardeniasdashboardcon9214]

I really enjoyed learning more about you Elzani ...Sending Hugs to your Family from Texas! Diane

[@jaimillugo7530]

I am also thw oldest sibling, and I also always say that they should be looking up to me, but to me they are the furthest and highest starts in the sky. It is hard to see they are the ones looking down to me now. I totally relate to yur feelings towards your sisters. Feels 'wrong' not being the one setting up the example for the people you love and seen grown up.

[@amandalawrence98]

Hun u are good enough at being you and worth recovery. On the 'why' of getting an eating disorder I highly recommend tabitha farrar utube video of what causes an eating disorder. It's not ur fault, it's genetic disposition and having the switch for it triggered through energy deficit. Love yourself at every stage of recovery and beyond. Nourish the inner child you, and then the outer strong woman u are. Keep calm and recovery on. Hugs

[@chloej2766]

You should do a video where your mum controls what you eat in a day❤️❤️

[@cheranejenkins8307]

I relate soo much I can strongly say if u stick to it it gets better X. It’s so worth it in the long run

[@tangerinecoral1822]

I really think you need to see a therapist - the way you talk about your childhood in such a nostalgic way does not seem healthy. Obviously it it great to have good memories from a supportive, loving childhood, but if you cannot move past your past experiences and accept the need to move into adulthood, you will struggle immensely to recover.

[@kmd10533]

I had huge help with my anxiety with medication.... it changed my life and just took away all my worrying about every little thing. Something you could talk to your doctor about?

[@arctichare2740]

It is great to hear that your anxiety has abated. However, medication is not a long term solution and can produce many adverse effects. Thus, I would be careful about recommending something that may serve no therapeutic benefit at all.

[@kmd10533]

I disagree actually..anxiety disorders are a medical condition often caused by fluctuations in neurotransmitters easily regulated with medications. The medications today are extremely safe and life changing. Of course under doctors supervision, but mental health can be treated very easily. Would you say the same for someone taking medication to control high blood pressure? The medical literature on this overwhelmingly supports this.

[@Snickerdoods.x]

arctic hare Medication is a GREAT tool to help people cope with anxiety, depression, etc. It can calm things down enough so that you can focus on learning actual coping methods. When you’re frantic because you’re anxious, you can’t focus on anything. Medication has saved my life. Literally saved my life. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for medication. Try not to discourage people from certain treatments just because you think it isn’t a good option. It doesn’t hurt to try things.

[@kecrn4132]

Gina Marie - totally 100% agree!

[@gemma_dancer4169]

My anxiety medication has done nothing so far :( they just keep upping the dosage

[@adisconected4211]

When I think that im not the same person as I was before eating disorder I just want to cry. Im angry at yourself bc my parents worried and I almost lost my real best friend. And I lost a lot thinking to only look 'thin'. Now im eating more and more but always this ed is stuck in my head and say not to eat, but then I just think that I dont want my live to ruin. I have only 1 chance to live And I think I'll start to do challenges almost everydays it will be such a fight but fun! Im happy that youre getting better and I wish u a lot of luck ;)) we will fight this sh*t till the end!!!

[@KimHoeltje]

Can I just say that I LOVE your sense of humor!! Seriously you make me laugh at the most random times!! Bum scooting...your sister being a nut...22 eating cocoa puffs talking to a camera! Love you Elzani!!! Keep it up! You are doing amazing!!❤️

[@monique5238]

just an idea: do the panic challenge! every time you eat during the day, have your mum or sisters give you a few options and you have 3-5 seconds to pick what you’ll be eating. this way you’ll have no time to dwell and overthink the decision!! i did this with my mum and it was terrifying and i ended up ordering some of the craziest things from the menu at restaurants 😂

[@HIGHIMALYSSA]

You’re the Best person on the planet

[@timetogetmylifeback]

Avocado on bagels is the BEST 😍 Highly recommend!

[@breatheinbreatheout7568]

I’ve developed unhealthy relationship with food during my pregnancy and I miss my old mindset. I miss not being scared of food and being able to eat whatever I want...

[@ashlynnflory2034]

I relate to everything you feel and how you became isolated, less interested in things you used to love doing, just purely exhausted all the time. I'm currently still anorexic and I was trying to recover on my own, I was recovering and no longer purging or starving myself but last night my father said I was a "fat f***" even though I'm already severely underweight, now I'm triggered to lose even more weight and I feel grief for giving up on ana.

[@MusicInMyHeart0160]

Hey Elzani! I’m not quite sure if you gonna read my comment but I feel like putting it out there anyways 😄 First of all you are an amazing person and there’s nothing you have to apologize to anybody about. You might feel like a burden for your family for worrying them, but that’s what they’re here for. It’s not like u don’t care if something happens to them, u would worry as well, just like everyone else. It’s just a normal thing in relationships with other people. The other thing is: You’re saying that you wanna be just like you’ve been before the ED but that’s not a goal anyone should have. Being someone who went through all of that three times the past decade and even longer, I know those feelings and thoughts, but they’re not achievable nor the healthy destination cause something did make you get that ED in the past. If you just go back to where you were (the fact, that u were a kid aside) you would probably end up on the same page as now. People grow, not just physically but also mentally. Try to focus on what you wanna be as a person now, not what you were in the past. And, as well as the other person that commented already, I think you need a therapist on your side to help you get through this time. I know it’s hard to accept that you need help, but you do and u gonna feel so much better Much love to you and your family ❤️

[@aliceincrazyland3946]

I always try to get the bagel thins for the same reasons you want them and I try to tell my husband it’s because they make good snacks or because I can eat two and he made the same point your sister did- just eat two regular ones if you want more. Stop worrying about the calories, but it’s not so simple! He doesn’t let me buy the thins anyway. He says they are (as of right now at least) too much of a disordered idea right now. He’s right but I still want those instead.

[@Sonia-ds6sc]

Just wondering how long does it take you to eat your meals/snacks?

[@elwirapawlak5162]

Hey again! :) You and your life - increadibly relatable! I've moved my house A LOT, though it was really nice too: I've literally lived in 9 different houses - of which 6 are still ours .. I also used to go to private secondary schools, than an international college and another one (overall 7 different schools) + a weekend, "extra" Polish school - great, right? Yes, my family is multilingual: mum knows 7 languages - fluent level, dad - 4, my little sis 3 and me 6. That's how I learned my English... I also LOVED sports, I've always been very active and I also did quiet well: I was a snowboarder, winning medals, etc., I loved/ still love horseriding!!!

[@alisonjohn]

Try Nutella mixed in with porridge or have you tried that already? Love your videos. I was in hospital at your age, with Anorexia. I'm 51 now. Axx

[@atheistleopard618]

I Think This Will Be My Favorite Video Of You. =D

[@JaneD559]

Crumpets are the nicest with lots of butter and lots of bovril!!

[@jocelynisabella8944]

Now I’m craving a bagel! But with cream cheese & smoked salmon & arugula on one side & avocado & tomatoes & cucumbers on the other because I don’t like sweets (that’s not my ED talking, I’ve literally never liked sweet things other than fruit.)

[@morgannespeirs6777]

Challenge yourself with dessert porridge! Put chocolate on top once it’s cooked and then let it melt slightly and stir it in😋😋

[@chloewhiteley4009]

You can do this!!!

[@SeekerKC]

That was lovely. 💖

[@kmd10533]

But the best bagel topping is still cream cheese!

[@barbarabrumen3591]

and salmon/avocado

[@junejustjune4244]

proud!

[@orangepulp392]

Do you watch Tabitha Farrar on KZbin? She is recovered from anorexia and makes KZbin videos on tips to recover. The videos have really helped me alot and I think they will help you too!!