What if Therapy Doesn't Help? | KATI MORTON

There are hundreds of types of therapy out there, and for good reason! There are tons of different ailments and ways that each mental illness can affect us. Everyone is different! We all have ways that we learn best, and ways that we prefer to be talked to or listened to. We all grew up in different homes and therapy (and therapists) have to work with that! Just because one type didn’t work, doesn’t mean it’s over and you’re broken or weird. I know our brains go right to that nasty self talk when something like this happens, but trust me, just like it can take a few therapists before we find one we like, we should think about the type of therapy the same way! When it comes to this specific question, yes CBT and exposure therapy are the “best” for OCD but they AREN’T the ONLY treatment for OCD. There is aversion therapy, rational emotive behavioral therapy, systematic desensitization, and many others! Not to mention medication!
I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!
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[@ChouxStuff]

This has been exactly what I've been trying to explain to my partner lately, thank you so much! This video was perfect timing 👌🏻

[@baconstrips6260]

You must not care about your partner, because this was not advice I would give to an enemy!

[@rebeccajones9757]

Now if only these tries didn't cost so much

[@DerAua]

Come to Germany. We're really nice. And: kzbin.info/aero/PLzrg3mnqcwmYqiIMeiAm7vtOmw2TCJI-8

[@JasmineScott930]

I have a video with a few resources/links in the description box detailing free or low cost therapy options. I hope you find at least one resource that is helpful: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aHynqpycfMiCpa8

[@corinnegodard8358]

Yes, that's right. The problem is : they cost money, time and emotional engagement. When they make us feel worse or when we make a worse decision than if we had not seen a therapist, it can have detrimental consequences. Besides hope makes the person stay longer than they should with a therapist even if it doesn't work, perseverance, attachment, the fear to lose the therapist (even if it is not beneficial.), or the fear to stop the work prematuraly, the drained energy, the tiredness and the reluctance to have to start all over again with a new person.

[@edriant1916]

@@sweetluvgurl Refreshing to hear this. I have been in and out of therapy for decades, and still feel that I haven't achieved anything. When I try to research why it hasn't worked, I usually get something about how it's MY fault, maybe you're not ready for change, maybe you're not willing to make the effort etc. I ask what I need to do for it to work, and frequently get something like "What do YOU think you should be doing?" This is insulting. If I knew that I wouldn't be asking the question, if I knew that I would have resolved things a long time ago.

[@diddykong7354]

thats what i mean getting “help” costs money like what in the first country doesnt cost money: like even seeking help costs money!

[@adrianaavila8853]

Like others mentioned below, it’s very easy to say “let’s try this, if that doesn’t work let’s try that, oh no another one isn’t helpful let’s keep sorting through” when money is the problem. I would love to see you comb through the financial aspect of receiving these services. Accessibility is the first priority for many people AND ONLY THEN can options work. If people can’t go to these appointments or access a therapist, then how the heck are folks supposed to get better? The time and cost for 3 months of therapy every week having sessions gets to be pricey.

[@JasmineScott930]

I have a video with a few resources/links in the description box detailing free or low cost therapy options. I hope you find at least one resource that is helpful: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aHynqpycfMiCpa8

[@SS-jl2cx]

These people run their own businesses, and tend to charge $74-$135 for 50 minutes of chatting.

[@WhatWouldLubitschDo]

Plus (based on experience) many therapists aren’t open to any change in the original plan they decide on within ten seconds of meeting a client (or before meeting them), so the barrier is money times ego. At that point, your odds of getting even a small benefit shrink to near zero.

[@badabooms8841]

I can't even add to this, ya hit the nail on the head. Plus not all therapists, psychologists know that there are other treatments and just on and friggin on, i mean if shit was so gee whilikers you can do it never give up, there wouldn't be poverty and etc. Mean while don't forget to donate to x y and z.

[@ilovedyoubananakin]

@@WhatWouldLubitschDo She can’t. It’s well known within mental health circles that therapy Only works for the middle class, where basic needs are met. Remember therapy was created with housewives and people who had no systemic issues whatsoever, it’s not meant for the poor or those who have bigger problems than what’s going on with their own minds specifically.

[@indridcold8433]

I have found therapy made issues worse for me. Talking about problems made me focus on them. This made life miserable for me. When I quit therapy, I felt tremendously better. Mental therapy is not for everyone. I naturally do not talk to anybody about problems that depress me. Therapy made me go against my nature and kept me reliving the issue by speaking to someone.

[@user-nw8oi9vn9y]

Therapy made me feel worse too. They degraded me with false assumptions and gave me horrible advice that made my life worse. The people I've seen most hurt by therapy are the ones who believe staunchly that it helped them.

[@indridcold8433]

@@user-nw8oi9vn9y It seems that therapy is orientated around social people. The issue is, not all of us are social. Though asocial people seem to be growing in number. We are still the tiny minority. We are treated like the social people when it comes to mental therapy. The things advised to us and td to us, just do not apply to us. Perhaps if a mental therapy could be formulated for those that are not social, that method could be applied to us with a better measure of success. When told to speak to a friend when feeling as I did, by the therapist, what I am supposed to do? I have had no friends since 7th grade. I outgrew the need to be in a herd and associate with others. I did not want to be around their cruelty, lies, hypocracy, hate, and belittling. Asking me to find support in a social circle that would benefit me would be like asking most people to just go out on their yacht for a night cruise to look at the stars. Most people simply do not have a, yacht.

[@asmysarasan]

Omg this is very relatable. I often dreaded my sessions and I’m glad I stopped them.

[@indridcold8433]

@@asmysarasan Not all people are programmed to be social from an early age. I was taught to be independent and never to look to anybody for help. Being that way, it was very difficult to even try to make friends because I never felt a need to approach anybody. Thus, I grew up with no friends, doing everything myself, and depending on nobody. When there was a psychiatric failure and I was institutionalised, the psychiatrist prescribed mental talk therapy. Thag was so completely unnatural for me. I actually stayed committed to the hospital much longer than others because of the group/talk therapy. This semi-anonymous KZbin rant is close enough to a communication for me, and I do it to practice written English, mostly. Not everyone is social. Not everyone feels comfortable in a herd. Not everyone goes to others for help. That just happens you be you and me. Are you and me defective for being self-reliant and perhaps have few friends, or no friends?

[@JL-kk9hl]

I absolutely agree.

[@Tinybeequeen]

I think one of the most rage-inducing things I’ve heard in relation to depression is that it’s “highly treatable” because it makes me feel like a complete failure for not having gotten better despite being in therapy and on medication for the past 8 years, having worked with many different therapists and tried many different medications and treatments along the way.

[@regentanz7364]

Bee Maddox I know what you mean! Sometimes I wonder if its really treatable. If it is then why doesnt it get better? I kind of just accepted that its probably always gonna be this way. So.. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.

[@Onestrangebrain]

You are not alone.

[@agkdjsdjkd]

Bee Maddox do you have treatment resistant depression? or do you have other mental illnesses, like bpd, etc.? that can also make depression harder to treat.

[@leilanx89]

I get what you mean! I was also in therapy for a while, tried 4 different therapists (I saw all of them for at least a year), also been on medication. Tbh I had some bad experiences in therapy that kind of made me jaded from the whole thing and I just don’t have the energy anymore to keep trying different ones. I was actually wondering if Katie could do a video about if it’s possible to get someone PTSD symptoms from bad therapy.

[@WhatWouldLubitschDo]

Depression can be a bit of a misleading catch-all term, I think, because it covers major and minor and short term depressions, plus all the people who are diagnosed only with depression when they have bipolar II, PTSD or something else that has not been diagnosed. Like sure a person experiencing first time minor depression is probably highly treatable, but as Katie mentioned, different people are....different!

[@BallinBunBun]

Having hundreds of types of therapies doesn't help when the therapists that know how to do them aren't covered by insurance.

[@SS-jl2cx]

Insurance companies know better than to put risks in methods that are subjective, and downright imaginary.

[@laaaliiiluuu]

@@SS-jl2cx So let's have all depressed people kill themselves, right? But this shows perfectly how money is always more important than people's lives. That is why people often become depressed in the first place. We are treated as nothing but a resource in this world. Used and then thrown away.

[@JL-kk9hl]

@@SS-jl2cx Exactly this

[@ethancotter101]

I’m 19 and have had 14 therapists/counselors since I was 5. Many of those have dropped me as a client. It’s hard to want to push forward when so many professionals push you to the side because you’re too much work. This is a never ending fight that I gave up long ago. Not fun😑

[@monukeys1105]

I just saw one therapist now . I am 15 . But I am sorry you had to see them since you are 5 :(

[@monukeys1105]

@Aida Chudary :(

[@lucyalexandra.]

I'm the same I've seen therapists since 5 but I'm 15 now, no one will help idk what to do anymore

[@monukeys1105]

@@lucyalexandra. :( I am so sorry . You had to go through all this

[@lucyalexandra.]

@@monukeys1105 aw thankyou, hopefully I'll find a route to recovery soon and I hope you're doing alright :)

[@brookerickert4046]

I want to see a series where Kati goes through Every. Single. Type. Of. Therapy. 😉😉😉

[@LittleLulubee]

Most therapists aren't trained in all those types, though

[@brookerickert4046]

@@LittleLulubee definitely not, that would be waaaayyy too much. I think Kati does a lot of research though!!!

[@blondinevloggt]

Oh that would be fun!! Even if she doesn't know much about some of them i think that would make the videos even more interesting

[@LittleLulubee]

@@blondinevloggt The problem, though, is the viewers will get all excited about different types they want to try. But then it will be impossible to find someone who uses that method. So it will be disappointing.

[@brookerickert4046]

@@LittleLulubee I definitely see where you're coming from.

[@maggie0285]

I think in a situation like this sometimes you just have to take a break from therapy and learn to improve by educating yourself with coping skills and self care. Then when life hits you again then try therapy again because you might be stronger and you might have a better understanding of the therapy process and what works. For me, I can't tolerate a therapist that doesn't talk and engage with me. If a therapist is too quiet then it wont work for me.

[@steph1986]

Once I realised traditional CBT just doesn't work for me was when I realised I'm not broken, just different things work for me

[@Katimorton]

Exactly!! I am so glad you have found other things that work for you :) xoxo

[@gwldeniz]

Like what

[@pedroba76]

what therapy worked for you?

[@callumbutler1378]

long isolated camping trips into the wilderness and lots of books saved me from my mental health

[@LittleLulubee]

That's awesome. I love reading, but I can't go into the wilderness. I wish SO MUCH that I could.

[@maggie0285]

Thats good.

[@callumbutler1378]

@@LittleLulubee You can! It's out there waiting for you. There is wisdom in the way our ancestors lived, its rather fulfilling!

[@LittleLulubee]

@@callumbutler1378 I know, nature is so healing. The problem is I have a chronic illness, PTSD and agoraphobia. I haven't left the house in seven years. But if I could suddenly have a healthy body, and just appear in the middle of the wilderness, without having to drive or see people on my way there, I would. It sounds like a dream. I wish I could become a wolf and run off with a wolf pack.

[@callumbutler1378]

@@LittleLulubee I'm sorry. I hope you somehow find a solution. My aunt has agoraphobia, it's not an easy thing. Look after yourself friend

[@sextwister]

It's never done a single positive thing for me. Talking to a stranger or family works at least as well.

[@georginasparks6867]

I always used to go to “talk therapy”, I’d sit down with a psychologist and just talk about shit that was bothering me. After a while I was a little disappointed, because I thought that I’d get better. Apparently my past experiences had been so shitty, that for any long term change to happen, I needed to go into a different type of therapy. So I tried EMDR. It worked miracles for my friend who had a drunk and shady dad, but for me it sadly didn’t do much, because my traumas were all pretty much bad social interactions at school. In a few weeks time I’m gonna give psychotherapy a try. The moral of the story: talk therapy and EMDR might not be enough to change your habits, behavior and thought pattern, so don’t be surprised if talk therapy doesn’t offer a long term solution.

[@akat3628]

I think it's a good idea for therapists and clients to talk about what the person has already tried and what has or hasn't helped. Sometimes I'll see a new therapist and let them know I've already been in therapy for years but then I get the same handouts and am taught the same things that haven't worked for me. If anyone feels this way, it's okay to let your therapist know.

[@Katimorton]

I couldn't agree more! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this :) xoxo

[@samanthapeters8314]

The homework my therapist was giving me was stressing me out. I physically couldn't do it. Sometimes I felt like my therapist was being passive aggressive with his comments, when I didn't do my homework. So I stopped seeing him. I look back at my therapy sessions. I've realized that all the homework he wanted me to do, was of no value to me. It actually seemed generic. He told me to join a hiking group. Even through I can't walk properly. He also suggested golf. He sat at a computer printing out hiking, and golf groups for me to join. While commenting "if you really want to change. You will join these groups."

[@_just_TK]

Samantha Peters Sounds like a real jackass! I hope you’re able to fire him and find a better therapist m! ❤️

[@skylinefever]

This is why I describe most therapists as NPCs repeating motivational garbage.

[@_.useless._.human._625]

I didn’t even know there were more forms of therapy. I’ve always sat and talked forever, changing nothing.

[@doggiestylespositivedoggro2501]

Really needed to hear this. I’ve been so close to just giving it up and trying to go it alone but I know that will probably make things worse. I find it very hard to speak up or to say I need a change. But will try at my next session! Thank you for all your videos Kati! Xx

[@Katimorton]

I am so glad this was helpful... I know it's hard to speak up, but trust me it's worth it.. you're worth it :) xoxo

[@doggiestylespositivedoggro2501]

Thank you Kati ☺️

[@hunnybSue]

I have given up on therapy, my last therapist set homework that I said no to. It caused me to dissasociate. Then she turned it on me, oh I thought you could handle it. Umm I said no for a reason. Im not able to email her the real reason why I left.

[@abbeyc4865]

From my experience a diagnosis can be a symptom of something bigger and may need to be treated differently as well. Thanks for the video kati!

[@Katimorton]

Agreed!! xoxo So glad it was helpful! xox

[@georginasparks6867]

Can you make more videos about: -Bullying -Being excluded at school. (I.e. 75% of the people in your class are getting invited to a party and you aren’t. You’re never allowed to know a secret and everyone else is etc...)

[@StViciousVampire]

I would also love to hear about this. And what about when youre a person that nobody shows up for (such as when you plan out an event and hype it for weeks, so people have ample to make arrangements with work or whatever, and everyone up until a couple hours before the even tell you they're going. But when event time comes NOBODY shows up, so you waste hours at the venue hoping someone cares enough about you to come. But no one does). This has happened to me every time I try to plan anything, my entire life. it really makes me question if there's something about me that's just so unloveablethat people just don't really want to be around me

[@Redeemed26]

I believe that many diagnoses are actually symptoms rather than a root cause. I believe that we have to start from the beginning in each case because as you say each person is different and I don’t think that simply recognizing a problem or symptoms such as OCD, alcoholism etc. is the best way to start. The best way to start is at the very beginning with each person; finding out how they grew up, what crisis and style of life they grew up in and what challenges they faced and set backs they experienced as children. That would be the best way to find the root causes that exist in their life and then begin to deal with those root causes instead of treating the symptoms. Some people may say that that’s too much and that doesn’t need to be done with every person. That may be true for a light problems, but when you begin to see that things are more complex than you need to go back to the beginning.

[@katiebwheeler]

I completely agree with this, after seeing a counselor for 2 years and getting me to a fairly stable place we are starting EMDR to start dealing with my Complex-PTSD and having to go back to me at like 3 and work out way forward. Lots of hard work, but lots of hope!

[@laurengarcia3838]

I had a therapist that wasn't a good fit with me and I basically gave up. Now I found my current therapist, she's a damn godsend, has been working on EMDR with me and I feel so much better. Thank you for familiarizing the technique so I could move forward (:

[@WhatWouldLubitschDo]

I went to a therapist specifically for EMDR, but she decided she wouldn’t proceed without “getting to know me for a few sessions”, then when a few sessions doing nothing except hearing about her mediocre personality went by and I circled back, she admitted to having no intention of doing EMDR cause she...didn’t feel like it. It’s an interesting technique that I still haven’t had the chance to try, but unfortunately that money went to the wrooong person so I have no option for the moment.

[@richardmaloney2648]

Viewer: "Therapy isn't working." Kati: "Do more therapy. There's a needle in that haystack somewhere."

[@edriant1916]

I am currently dealing with this same frustration, only multiplied. I have been in therapy MANY times, and have achieved almost nothing. I have difficulty dealing with people, it's not a social anxiety/performance anxiety, I do things pretty well, I am capable of working work with people and getting things done, I know things will most likely go well, but it still takes a tremendous effort. I have been trying to address this for a few decades, with some 12-14 different therapists, and have achieved nothing. I keep trying, just like I am "supposed" to do, but the essential problem does not change. Dealing with people is stressful, it doesn't matter how well it goes (usually does), how many times it goes well, how much I KNOW it's going to go well, it still takes a tremendous effort and it's exhausting. It's wearing me down, its harder and harder to push through it, and it never gets better. Therapy has NEVER had any effect on it! Therapists always say you need to keep trying, but I still don't know what I am supposed to be doing! And I have asked them this (repeatedly) and I NEVER progress! Keep trying keep trying keep trying, but how long? When I have asked what I need to do to make real progress, they frequently say something like "what do YOU think you should be doing?" THIS IS INSULTING! If I knew that I wouldn't be asking the question, if I knew that I would have resolved it a LONG time ago and wouldn't be talking to a therapist at all! It's a slap in the face when I ask an earnest question and all they do it throw it back at me, as if I am already supposed to know. I very much regret all of the money I spent years ago trying to address this. I am seeing someone now, but only because it's covered. There's no way I will ever pay out of pocket again.

[@nataliedubrovsky1205]

Hear Hear! I couldn't agree more and given the depth of my problems, I am dreading getting therapy although I've often been told how desperately I need it, yet I don't want to as I don't want to be asked, what do you think? If I knew the answer, I wouldn't be in therapy after many many years of searching for my solutions.

[@courtney41182]

3 years of therapy. Barely any change. The only change is now I have a diagnosis which keeps being added to and I understand a little more what it means to be borderline. My diagnosis is now up to borderline, anxiety, major depression disorder, bipolar, history of physical and sexual abuse in childhood, possible ADHD and possible PTSD. Any more and they might as we just recite the alphabet.

[@lexismore]

It may help to remember that all these DSM designations have overlapping presentations. And that there is no concrete correlation to physiology. If you have all of these designations in your file, it may mean that you have presented with some aspects of all of them at some point. Keeping them all in play likely means that more potential treatment options are open to you, as therapists are under pressure to diagnose for billing purposes.

[@areuarealman7269]

More problems more money or more diagnostic bs cuz people are stupid ?I believe alot of it is repressed anger and no legal weed at least for me f it call me names I get in a legal state I can stop these nasty legal meds I hate mental health professionals....they are ignorant still in 2023 or maybe it's my state but definitely stuck in the books .

[@beatrixbrennan1545]

That's pretty exactly me!!! I truly feel your pain. You're not alone, dear.

[@anjam.242]

Thank you so much! This came just at the right time. I've been to two different potential psychologists this week who had completely different reactions to my background. One made me feel acknowledged and seen and quite motivated until yesterday when I saw the other one who has sent me spiralling with guilt about why I'm still struggling with some of the things I've experienced and can't just move on. Had a friend told me the same story I would have told them to not be so hard on themselves and go with the one they feel they can trust, but because it's me I was (as usual) extra hard on myself. Your videos always enable me to look at my own situation from that 'friend angle' when I don't see why I should maybe try and treat myself as understandingly and kind as I would others. Thank you so much for that!

[@DepressionTalks1]

You're very motivational! Even if one therapist doesn't work out, doesn't mean others won't help!

[@jkar1747]

Yes, basically the point is in the fact that its not therapy itself that doesn't work, its the type that may not cater to your needs. :)

[@DepressionTalks1]

@@trevorlefiles8633 Ayyye!

[@lisalavender3818]

Thank you for doing theses videos. You are helping many people. Love and Light💜🙏

[@Katimorton]

Awe of course :) xoxo

[@abeldigiorno4836]

I swear Schizoaffective really makes you feel awful when therapy doesn't work. And so many psychs and therapists just try their best but don't understand it enough.

[@costaquanta5936]

Look up 5 biotypes of depression

[@alisonhilaire4170]

Through your video I really heard a message of hope: it's not because something does not work for us that we are doomed to feel miserable for the rest of our life. There are options out there to get better. We just have to found them and try them out. It's really important to remember that when you fall into the bottomless pit of despair and hopelessness that often goes with depression and anxiety.

[@Kaizykat]

I feel for the person who wrote the question. The way that people talk, it's like CBT/ERP is the _only_ way to "get better from" OCD and that if you just worked a little harder, then you'd be fine! It'd be cured! The sky will clear and there'll be rainbows and unicorns! But sometimes it just doesn't work. The thing is that it isn't fair. At all. If the world was just, things would get better. In my case, I was abused by a therapist who used the properties of CBT and ERP against me. I don't know why she did it. She reinforced the idea that I would never get better every single week. She tried to push me into inpatient treatment and told me that it was my only hope of seeing any relief. At the time, I couldn't see it because I was so desperate for it to work. Things did eventually get better, but it was hell for a while. I found that DBT helped, and so did learning about Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD). It helped to fill in the gaps in my life.

[@LittleLulubee]

Omg, that’s horrible. I’m so sorry she was abusive- what a nightmare.

[@Ingridlosneslokken]

Thank you Kati! Ive been thrown back and forth between so many therapist these last few years and no one has felt like the right person or the right treatment.. luckily I have the best doctor and she help me when no one else could, and now I've stated talking to someone that I finally feel I have a "connection" with, and feel safe. You saying that finding the right person before finding the right treatment, meant a lot to me, since this has been very difficult and I've been feeling like I'm the one who's hopeless and to "judgy" if you know what I mean..

[@ruthven78]

went to counseling for 5 years, tried various CBT and DBT and neurofeedback and with a few different practitioners. to me it doesnt seem like it helped much

[@PharoahsKingdom]

You got finessed.

[@thebestmarcela]

That huge list of types of therapy was one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen! I thought I knew a lot about therapy so I was very surprised just to read the names of all of those different types! They seem so interesting!!

[@pubculture]

Katie, what I really love about your approach is that you speak about mental illness like it's "normal", meaning with respect and no judgment. This is rare, especially where I'm from. ♥️♥️♥️

[@LittleLulubee]

What if I don't trust therapists? What if I don't want to sign my life away to a random stranger? (which is what you're required to do at the start of the first session, or even before the first one- when you sign the paperwork giving them legal authority over you) What if I think the law gives therapists too much power? How do I know they aren't a narcissist or sociopath, who took that job just to relish having power over others and seeing them squirm? How do I know they won't involuntarily commit me, just because they're evil? Kati, you yourself have said that narcs are attracted to those jobs. What if I don't trust anyone? How can I, after every member of my family abused me, ruined my life, and caused my PTSD? How can I, after friends, boyfriends, and others have also stabbed me in the back? I desperately need someone intelligent, understanding, knowledgable and compassionate to talk to about my problems. But I don't trust people- they've betrayed me too many times.

[@XxXsumaroXxX]

LittleLulubee um, therapists don’t make you give them “legal authority” over you... they are mandated reporters so if you disclose plans of killing/harming yourself or others then they will report that.

[@hai-mel6815]

You can't know that. There's no logical reason for you not to be suspicious of every other person on this planet and no one can convince you otherwise. But at the same time, you have an image of the kind of therapist you would like to talk to. Also, all the things you're afraid will happen have, unfortunately, already happened. You have already dealt with them. So why not give it a try? In the worst case scenario, everything will be just as bad as it has already been - and you stop.

[@Dreamsareareality]

Therapy has to be individualized but we also need tools that we can do on our own.

[@Katimorton]

Agreed!! xoxo

[@spottylill]

3 months wasn’t enough for me because I was too anxious and fearful to do things. But I knew that I’d found the right therapist and therapy. I just needed to build the trust and expose myself to feeling completely open and honest. This took a good year. I’ve been seeing them over three years in conjunction with other types of therapists. It’s working well.

[@pepperpitz3291]

This video is great for people who can afford to go testing a bunch of weird therapies with different therapists but For me this video makes me want to blow up the sun.

[@emmalouie1663]

I think I understand that. I get really annoyed listening these kinds of videos also. For some people it is difficult just to get in to see a doctor or a counselor let alone being PICKY about what doctor we get to see. I don't even have health insurance now and I sure am not going to go try out counselors to find the right one I could spend YEARS and thousands of dollars doing that. I wonder who this Kati person is working for.

[@krystenk3888]

I've been going to therapy for 4-5yrs. I have sat silently thru most of the sessions. I find that when my therapist asks the right questions, I am most comfortable and it does help to go to therapy.

[@margaritatowl7248]

Different therapies and different therapists suit different people. The first councillor I went to was awful- very indescrete and not at all validating - he blamed my problems on the fact that I had a twin (which he brought up in the first place) and said it must be difficult being related to a genius. Not sure how that was supposed to be helpful but it made me feel really belittled and misunderstood. BUT I saw a different Counselor recently and she is super lovely and kind and I’m so glad I persevered. There is always hope.

[@melanieprins-gervais2788]

I truly empathise with the writer of this question. I too thought this after seeing no improvement to my OCD symptomology after many years of treatment. What ended up working for me was DBT! I really want this person to know that there is so much more out there for them than this terrible disease, and that it's worth the struggle to get to the other side of this. All my love goes out to them ☀️

[@MuhammadFayyazIlovemusic]

Very very nice tips Madam Kati Mortaon ! About therapies Ever I heard , I salute your Professional involvement , And then sparing your precious n private time Free to the Audience accross the globe ! Thank You very much! Stay Healthy, Happy N prosperous , throughout!

[@elzanievorster3351]

This was also a topic of discussion in my friend group and it is true that everyone is different. Some things work for some people and not for others. Thank you for emphasising that Kati💕 Definitaly sending this video to all my friends😂

[@Katimorton]

I am so glad you found the video helpful and validating!! xox

[@BrendaNoon]

Hi! If you are the one who answered the question. I am in psychoanalysis therapy, and I have found out that in many cases, specially talking about anxiety or OCD, it's not enough to go to CBT therapy, because you are not addressing the real cause of your OCD. For example, I found out that my OCD (cleaning and obsessing about hygiene and about food being harmful) is just like a way to displace my real fear beneath that, which is "that something from the outside (people, things, situations) are going to hurt me, like if everything was orchestrated against me, and this comes from the place where people (like my parents or classmates) really hurt me in the past, so now I have displaced the fear of being hurt to the food or to the hygiene. So, i think it's important that you find out the real fear beneath your OCD. Like getting hurt, being abandoned, that kind of things. What are you displacing? If you don't treat the cause, CBT techniques will not work. I recommend you visit a psychoanalyst (:

[@LittleLulubee]

That totally makes sense. I have OCD, too- including severe germ phobia. My family members abusing me for so many years permanently turned on my fight or flight response, so I'm in a constant state of anxiety and fear. And I can displace the fear onto anything. It's a nightmare.

[@KeifusMathews3]

Katie you ROCK! Thank you and loved your book

[@_just_TK]

Keifus Mathews Don’t forget to leave positive reviews online! (Written reviews are the best ) 😉Checkout Goodreads.com Amazon.com & give a 👍on Google! 😺

[@anthonymicele8897]

Kati, I'm not sure if you've discussed this yet, but could you do a video on psychedelics and their benefits and/or pitfalls associated with treatment of OCD? I've progressively heard more and more positive things about them and how they open up dormant neural pathways and such. This would be a huge help. Thanks!

[@rosebudjess96]

CBT doesn't help me or when it does it only helps whilst I'm in it as soon as I leave I'm back to how I was in a few weeks. But the NHS only offers me 6 weeks, they also only offer me CBT and my gp only has one therapist available. I wish I could go private but I just don't have the money. So now I've given up on therapy until the nhs improves in that area. I mostly concentrate on other ways of dealing with it all which has thankfully worked for me so far but idk how long for

[@ChezEricPRL]

I'm sorry to hear the trouble you have with CBT and the difficulty you've been having with affording private therapy. That's a tough situation to be in. I'm a psychiatrist and a lot of my patients are in the same situation. The best advice I have for them in this situation is to read more books, get new ideas that might work with your life. Unfortunately, there are a lot of "meh" books out there but there are some gems too. I personally find a lot of useful content in old philosophy books. However, that might not be for everyone. Hope that's somewhat helpful. Wishing you the best.

[@norulesnolimitsjustno-el2088]

Gosh. I really really wish that I could just speak with you for an hour. Half an hour. You are amazing...........that would be a dream come true. I have more issues then Cosmo magazine haha

[@_just_TK]

No-el Henry Ck out Kati’s Patreon! You can ask her questions she’ll answer on a livestream and for a higher tier, you can have a one-on-one hangout w/ her! www.patreon.com/katimorton

[@lauragadille3384]

My therapist didn't help at all for my binge eating disorder. My insurance doesn't cover many therapiea, so I just gave up.

[@aland7236]

Read up on mindfulness training, you might be able to pick up on some techniques to help out with BED.

[@gothmedli]

My insurance didnt cover it either, spending on something that showed no progress was stressful and im not fuulalalalala kind of rich so i just gave up

[@jrg305]

I use a combo of DBT and modern psychoanalytic techniques with my binge eaters and talk about feelings before during and after binges, limiting extreme emotions by acceptance and self forgiveness.

[@CMStrawbridge]

Therapy was helpful in the past, but I've found that just learning about psychology helps me more than anything, and I've been getting the best of it here on KZbin. I feel like therapy has taken over my life; it's the only thing I have left that I get real anxiety about, and it makes me feel the opposite of empowered anymore.

[@christiinarosee]

I faked my way out of therapy. I felt like my therapist was rushing the whole process and throwing diagnosis and medication at me. I felt like burden to my therapist. Over the summer I started visiting a family friends grave and started talking to him and I’d vent for hours and it helped so much I’d never felt better. Id visit his grave weekly because I had so much bottled up and sitting by his grave and talking to him was so comforting and peaceful felt nothing but genuine love. Also Loved watching the sunset and breathing fresh air Best therapy ever!

[@emmalouie1663]

That's great. Medical offices are a conveyor belt. I worked in a health care office and one of my coworkers had been a therapist so I asked her why she quit doing that and she said "because my patients never got better" maybe she just wasn't making enough money off of it. Who knows. A local counseling school in my state is now over-run with a political group which is rather sad too. If people need help than just help the individual right, but no now couselors are being trained to view and judge their patients based on their political category. Sigh. It's such a scam.

[@Robin-lp2lj]

The problem is that if a therapy doesn’t work it’s ‘the cliënts fault’. I’ve heard it many many times and it made me sick of it. Glad I’m no longer in therapy because it made things only worse.

[@corinnegodard8358]

I think you are right. It is too easy to blame the patient for the failure of the therapy. It makes the patient feel guilty, abandoned and even more powerless. It is a form of gaslighting .

[@skylinefever]

Plus you'll also get gaslit by the people who do benefit from therapy.

[@Lyrawolfbane]

I just messaged my therapist that I’m stopping therapy because it isn’t working. I have autism and talk therapy doesn’t help and I feel like KZbin videos for anger management helps more than going in person. It’s amazing and wonderful and educational. I don’t like talking to strangers about my issues because I’m afraid of being judged. I’m better off without it.

[@manitooangeni636]

Hi Katie. Just wanted to say you are totally right. A combo of meds (with the right dosage) and therapy has made a HUGE positive difference in managing my OCD. And at lest according to my old therapist I'm a difficult horse to break when it comes to CBT. However, as much as the exposures sucked (liked I'd rather eat shards of glass than go through the exposures.), that has been the most impacting for the OCD. And just a comment to the person with the question. If the exposures aren't working maybe it's bc they are too intense to start at. There where certain exposures for me that were too much to start with even though my therapist thought they could be doable, and therefore had to be scaled waaay back and it took weeks to get from that point to where my therapist originally wanted me to start.

[@emawilliams3284]

Thank you for the video. Clients also have to remember to do the work outside of sessions for change to occur. Often people give up before even trying.

[@ameliel8792]

I had quite a traumatic ending with my therapist who I had been seeing for some time and it's really sad cos it affected me so badly and confirmed my worst fears that I'm just not worth it and no one cares. I would give a big warning to people with complex ptsd or any kind of trauma or attachment issues going into talk therapy that isn't 'trauma informed' cos some therapists however well intentioned just do not get it and aren't willing/able to really reflect on what they're doing. I had several really tough moments where I brought up my concerns with my therapist about how I was getting way triggered and dysregulated during sessions and it was just leaving me worse off and that took a lot of courage to speak up. Ultimately after a very painful time of feeling literally suicidal after this happened what I realise now is a therapist can only be as helpful or go as far as what they have experience with. I truly believe now that talk therapy alone is a thing of the past or it really only helps people with minor issues. If you have any deep trauma that is debilitating or affecting you in a profound way/making you physically ill, you need a Somatic Experiencing or Sensorimotor therapist. I mean I think every therapist should be learning about the role of stuck nervous system trauma (fight/flight/freeze/fawn etc) but particularly people dealing with trauma. It's just a tragedy that sometimes people are getting worse rather than better and then shaming themself/the therapist shaming them for not getting better. It can lead to a real mess. I guess what I'm saying is, people are coming to therapy in a dysregulated state and therapy can't reach or help a person in that state, so we need to be working to help a client get to a baseline of safety in their system (and in the room with the therapist of course) before the work can begin. I also think that for people with complex trauma, Internal Family Systems therapist alongside a body based therapy is the way to go. Parts work is so powerful and gets a person back to Self. I really think that traditional talk psychotherapy is a really outdated model which if don alone can actually be very unhelpful and potentially make it worse in for clients with any level of complex trauma. Wish I had realised this and done some more in depth research before going through a really bad experience. It's always assumed that talk therapy is best but there are other better options out there.

[@melissahatfield2475]

Yay thanks Kati love you have a great day

[@Katimorton]

Awe of course! I am so glad you enjoyed the video. You have a great day too :) xoxo

[@haleyjordanart9442]

And you post this video right after I tell my husband therapy isn’t working!😂

[@Katimorton]

hahah!! Perfect timing :) xxoo

[@EnbyBoi]

I'm not much of a talker. I deal with a lot of anxiety and depression and found through cbt that an underlying issue I was dealing with is gender dysphoria. Unfortunately the therapist I was with at the time I discovered this wasn't particularly LGBT supportive (even though he thought he was). I switched to a different therapist who uses art therapy to work through our meetings and it's changed my outlook and made all the difference!

[@LittleKroh]

I have my very first therapy session next Friday, I have been nervous and scared since it's something brand new to me, but Kati, you have helped a lot in reassuring me it's the right things to do for my health. Thank you. I know it might be a struggle to find the perfect therapist and therapy techniques, but I'm not going to go in it alone anymore.

[@_just_TK]

LittleKroh YAY! So glad you are giving therapy a shot! ❤️

[@Munchkinz]

My biggest problem is just talking about my problems. It’s so uncomfortable and I get anxious so I barely go. I don’t know might just be because I didn’t grow up expressing my feelings to someone?

[@thedarkchoices4389]

Munchkinz Im forcing myself to go to a psychologist next week( been forcing myself for years) i sent the email to mark the date cause i dont wanna go there and talk, idk

[@altheaunertl]

As long as you get to the appointment, that's good enough. Even if you sit there and have a panic attack and don't say anything, that will be beneficial for your health care provider/ therapist to see, and may help them help you with figuring out exactly why you get so anxious and treating that. I used to drive one of my friends to therapy every other week because she wouldn't go otherwise, so maybe you have someone like that, who you can tell your appointment time to and they can help hold you accountable. I'm sorry you're having a hard time right now and I hope things get better.

[@Munchkinz]

The Dark Choices that’s honestly awesome! I might be doing the same thing then! I hope it all goes well for you!

[@storytellerhut3488]

I also think that certain types of therapy work for us at different times! I have tried many different therapies and many have been helpful- some weren’t. Some were not helpful the first time through but then some I went back to later and I was able to apply things differently than I was before! Don’t give up! It does work!

[@jam4899]

Love your work

[@angellynn7104]

I have depression and anxiety, and honestly, your videos inspired me to be more open to my family about my illness and try to fix it. My family wrote it off as puberty for a while, but the more I told my mom about my feelings of emptiness whenever they occurred, the more she realized it was a real problem. She started taking me to behavioral therapy. My therapist was nice enough and I felt I could trust her. However, it was hard to bring up my feelings because she just wanted to talk about the events happening in my life, and not the overall feeling I had. I got my mom to go in with me to talk about it, and she immediately suggested medication. My mom's been on medicine for depression before, so they went with the kind she had taken. I'm on the lowest dosage right now and I can tell it's lifted me up but I don't think it's done quite enough, and my therapist agrees. However, I feel like my therapy experience is completely different than most other people's. The conversations aren't usually serious, they're just about what I've been doing recently, and she hasn't given me many tips at all on how to handle my feelings of emptiness and anxiety. My mom is starting not to like her because I come out of sessions 15 minutes early and tell her that she didn't really give me any pointers. Do you think she could be sneaking lessons in that are just too subtle for me to notice right away, or do I even need to go to therapy? I know I can't stay on medicine forever, so how do I make therapy work when my therapist won't help me? It's very puzzling. I'm worried I might have to switch therapists or stop attending sessions altogether.

[@LittleLulubee]

You should definitely find another therapist. She doesn't sound good at all.

[@_just_TK]

Angel Lynn if you feel link you’re not getting much out of ur therapy sessions, ask ur therapist to challenge u more. Ask to talk about ur overall well-being and not just about events. Come up w/ a list of things u want to address in ur sessions. Maybe if u take note of a lead in session your therapist will step up. If they don’t, maybe think about finding a new therapist

[@blondie-1112]

Thanks for this. Recently been questioning if therapy is really for me. Kind of a weird thing to be going through. Perhaps im in a bit of a rut. Love your vids

[@Katimorton]

You could be in a rut.. or another type could work better :) xoxo I hope this video was helpful.

[@blondie-1112]

@@Katimorton thanks. Something to be aware of

[@MsBeachboxer]

I've noticed with myself that I VERY seldom see my OWN progress. It takes someone else to point out. I need to ask my T therapist when I feel I'm not getting anywhere. THEN I see the progress 💓🌷 nb: Complex Trauma, no 'serious' OCD

[@catlover9585]

Good topic. I'm trying a few years and still struggle greatly. My current therapist is great. We tried a lot of different approaches. Consulted different therapists and psychiatrists. Just I keep feeling awful. What if nothing works? Should I give up? Are some of us just broken and can't be fixed?

[@blondinevloggt]

such a good video!!! i find this to be such an uncomfortable subject because as you said, so much of therapy is the relationship with the therapist so it feels very personal, like you're criticising who they are as a person. and also because some therapists (at least some that i know and have talked to about this) can get a bit religious when it comes to the form of therapy that they believe works best :D anyway i'm sure this video will help a lot of people

[@allieopel708]

I am new to this. You seem like a great therapist.

[@_just_TK]

Allie Opel Welcome to the Community!

[@aaronsmarlowe]

All i hear in this is. "Please spend more money on more therapists until youre so financially broken and manic you just give up because therapy is a scam for most"

[@emmalouie1663]

Yep. That is what they want more and more money.

[@demonprincess2045]

Mental health is not one size fits all. What works for someone isn't going to work for someone else. I've never been to therapy because I can't afford but I know what I need to do. I'm jus not doing jt, making excuses. Because these issues don't just go away. It's something I'm going to have to learn how to cope with. At least I'm not passing down unhealthy ways to a child, because I don't want kids. I don't want to bring a life into this messed up world. And I just don't have maternal instincts. Do what makes you happy, be a good person, and try to enjoy life.

[@Michaelathomas333]

Exactly

[@dudpktz]

Hi Kati, I've been struggling with crippling depression for half of my life and my therapies have been shitty. It's been a month since I stopped taking my medication because I feel helpless and hopeless and I feel like nobody can help me anymore. In 2017 I was diagnosed with Schizzoaffective Disorder. What kind of therapy is best for me? And what should I (because I have trusting issues with my psychiatrist)? Thabk you in advance, xoxo

[@perfumepixie2237]

All very well, with the nhs you get offered general therapy or cbt. Then you get 6 hours of therapy. Then have to go back on the waiting list again. Going over traumas again just brings up more traumatic memories as you remember more. You are just left feeling bad.

[@emilyjay7844]

Hey Kati, I dunno if you've done a video on it but if you haven't I'd like to see one... Drug resistant depression. I don't know if that term applies to me but I have been on several different antidepressants of the last few years at varying doses, I've had 2 work great for my anxiety but EVERY. SINGLE. ONE has made me dangerously worse. A video on this topic would really help.

[@BallinBunBun]

I've tried 25 medications, I'd love a video on Drug Resistant Depression/Anxiety!

[@samanthapeters8314]

Antidepressants doesn't solve your problems. They just temporary numb the symptoms. You need help in how to deal with past problems, and how to deal with problems that arise in the future.

[@emilyjay7844]

@@samanthapeters8314 obviously.. They're to help while I'm doing that..

[@BallinBunBun]

@@emilyjay7844 I love how easy people make mental illness sound, huh?

[@emilyjay7844]

@@BallinBunBun yea you can tell when the people who say "just do (insert thing)" probably haven't ever dealt with a long term mental illness. I'm not bummed out, I have trauma my dude

[@anielynne2088]

I wish you were my therapist 😂😂😂 Seriously though, thank you for your videos and putting everything out there. It’s so so helpful ❤️

[@EricAKATheBelgianGuy]

This is my argument as to why I don't go to therapy. How do you *know* that it will work for everybody, even if they put in the effort? I can imagine that many people do their best, but sometimes, just can't get there, as hard as they try. In my case, I actually am not willing to make the effort, but I feel like knowing that can also be part of it.

[@akat3628]

For me, I think if I didn't try then I would never know. And trying hasn't done me any harm. I have mostly gone to community mental health centers that take Medicaid or have a sliding scale fee. Some of the therapists and types of therapy were not a good match and they didn't help, but the work I did with one therapist was life-changing. It's honestly the best thing I've ever done for myself. But I would have never gotten there without hanging in with therapy.

[@EricAKATheBelgianGuy]

@@akat3628 I went a few times on and off in college, and most recently once five years ago, largely at the request as my family. I hate to say it, but I didn't take it seriously. So, I have tried it, but I don't think it's effective, and I know that a lot of it is my own doing. I'm perfectly willing to admit that I don't want to do the work that would come with it. Maybe I'll try again in the future, but right now, I don't really feel up to it.

[@youkai888]

I think a lot of the problem about the therapy comes from that, the client doesn't talk about how they don't get any better, or doesn't criticise the approach of the therapist, they don't talk about this with their therapist. If they do and it is still the same, then I'm afraid that therapist may not be as good as you think. Because when I criticised my therapist she actually suggested to refer me to someone else. Your therapist should be capable of doing this.

[@TheScratcherStudios]

NOTHING apparently works for me: thought "maybe therapy helps" with my problems. had many "first hours" but was afterwards always referred to another therapist. TWO YEARS of this and I was referred to a high profile clinic in my country. the doctor there didnt want to "give up on me" after one month so I got an extra month with him. after that he apoligised to me for not being able to acchieve anything with me (and yes i did work. after all it was me who seeked help in he first place) even the pills in the clinic he got me had no effect, which is why he upped the dose all the time. in the end nothing has changed. my problem is that i feel severely depressed for nearly 20 years now (am 32). and not just dystemia or "normal" depression but apparently (from what I was told) I am basically on a peak depression (like in "normal" depression that peaks and goes down again) but like in dystemia, instead of going down it persists for years on end without change of severety. (but dystemia is not as severe as "normal" depression) so a mix of both i guess? anyway nothing anybody can help me with as it seems. personality disorder and suspicion of asperger is also in the diagnosis. guess ill just continue being miserable and having no human contact (for years now) cheers

[@hai-mel6815]

I know this is gonna sound like yet another recommendation by a random stranger on yt, but I highly encourage you to read a couple of books: "Complex PTSD" by Pete Walker and "A General Theory Of Love". The thing with therapy is that it takes time. When we really need therapy, it's usually because attachment itself was damaged in the process of growing up. Changing the way you attach to people requires one good relationship (with a therapist) for a long period of time. Unfortunately, dealing with emotions has nothing to do with cognitive tasks like correcting thoughts (if you want to look at it from a biological perspective, it's two different parts of the brain which are involved). Also, switching from one therapist to another is like switching from one therapy to another. Therapy is nothing more than a relationship with a specific person; when it helps, it is because you become more similar to that specific person than you were before. I hope this helps somehow. Those 2 books really helped me. Best wishes :)

[@adrianaembly6424]

Honestly, I’ve been in therapy, multiple different/types of meds, therapists, and it’s been going on for over 13 years. Nothing works. I feel no different. All I want to do is end my life so I don’t have to do any of this anymore. I believe that some people, just like me, are beyond help. Nothing has, and never will help me

[@LittleLulubee]

I’m so sorry you’re suffering. A lot of people have not been helped by therapy or meds. Those things are very limited in what they offer. It doesn’t mean you’re beyond help. I believe you can find something that will work for you- outside of the psychiatric community. Keep looking until you find it. You were born for a reason. Please don’t give up 🌸

[@adrianaembly6424]

LittleLulubee that is so sweet of you to lift me up. Thank you for the kind words 💕💕

[@LittleLulubee]

Take care 💕

[@ellevs1601]

Thank you for this video. This answers a question I have been struggling with. My therapist is awesome, but found like I was stuck. Might have to mention to her to try something different since she is trained in different therapies :)

[@LittleLulubee]

If she was a good therapist, though, she would notice that you weren't improving, and she would suggest a different type of therapy herself.

[@Katimorton]

I am so glad the video was helpful!! xoxo

[@user-nw8oi9vn9y]

The biggest mistake I made in my life was to trust psychotherapists. Their short-sighted, shallow, glib, flippant advice made my life worse and unbearable. They misinterpreted most of what I said (very frustrating and exhausting), degraded me with false assumptions, and everything they told me turned out to be wrong. The people I've seen who have been hurt worst by psychotherapy are the ones who staunchly believe it helped them. They just wanted to believe that something was helping, but I could se that things were worse for them. I went to many types of therapy and one of my degrees is in Psychology. My professors could not respond to my challenges of their theories and I debunked the tripe in our textbooks. In class I'd say, for instance, if painful thoughts get repressed into the unconscious, I wouldn't have so many painful thoughts. But they'd just chuckle and continue the lecture, but they could never give a coherent response because whatever response they did occasionally attempt was as full of holes as the one I challenged. Therapy is based on false and dehumanizing assumptions about people and can only make things worse, not better. The potential efficacy of therapy is one of the pervading mythos of our times. Stay away from therapy. There are no good types.

[@fereyal]

My sentiment exactly, thanks for sharing.

[@purpledallas3165]

Synchronicity. I've seen about 10 to 15 therapists in 18 years trying to heal from PTSD. It's been a shit show. The last therapist I had was from December 2018 to July 2019. She lied to me about her experience and expertise when it came to EMDR, complex trauma and PTSD. Now I don't know what to do. I'm so disillusioned with the whole"mental health care" system.

[@LittleLulubee]

I'm so sorry. I've had the same exact experience. I have PTSD, too. I've been to 15 therapists. They all SUCKED. They weren't knowledgable, they weren't intelligent, they weren't compassionate. They didn't give a shit about me and just wanted their money. They had NOTHING to offer. They just sat there saying "Tell me about that".... "Uh huh".... "And how did that make you feel?"... "Ok, time's up". TOTAL WASTE OF TIME AND MONEY. I also know TONS of people who have had bad therapists, and who had bad effects from psych meds. I have no faith whatsoever in the psychiatric community. They have ruined so many lives, and done nothing for so many people.

[@purpledallas3165]

@@LittleLulubee Thanks so much. I couldn't agree more with you. I was on psych meds for 11 years and they made me worse. I've seen 2 different psychiatrists. All they ever do is ask you if you want more meds. They don't help at all. I couldn't come off of them on my own and had to go to a naturopath to help me. I'm sorry to hear about your situation as well. God knows how many people are in the exact same situation. That's the scary part.

[@LittleLulubee]

@@purpledallas3165 Western medicine's approach to anything is to throw toxic meds, toxic treatments, or dangerous surgeries at it. It's guaranteed whatever they suggest has more serious side effects and risks, (including often death), than whatever you're suffering from. Or in the case of talk therapy, just waste your time- or possibly traumatize you from a bad therapist. It's horrifying to think of all the people out there suffering under bad "help" options, or suffering because they've realized those things don't help, and are now without options. I'm glad you were able to get off those toxic meds. Take care and hang in there.

[@ravenraven966]

Wow! Thank you all for your truthful comments. I too have tried it all. Nothing worked. All I do is pray for death. I'm so tired. Can't function and all alone.

[@LittleLulubee]

@@ravenraven966 I'm so sorry. I'm exactly the same. It's so hard to go through life alone, or even get out of bed. What's the point of anything? I feel so hopeless sometimes.

[@XxInativxX]

I've been in therapy since pre-k and I'm 30 now. I am getting worse and I am rapidly losing faith that therapy can do anything for me, and not a single source I can find online has a real answer to the problem, it's all just 'Keep trying new things something will stick' and maybe that's true, but when I've been playing this game for most of my life, continuing to just have faith in a system that has failed me over and over has become so difficult that I can barely build up any trust in a therapist before they decide I'm too difficult of a case and transfer me to someone else. And that's on top of the struggle to find a therapist who is actually knowledgeable enough about autism to be able to even work effectively with me at all.

[@StViciousVampire]

My therapist is awesome and she's been teaching me some coping skills through CBT, but I don't really feel like we're getting to the root of the issues I've been having.

[@roguerat6717]

Therapy didn’t work for me. I find using emotion from trauma experiences to write lyrics make me happy and helps to process better than just blabbing.

[@LittleLulubee]

That's awesome that you have that talent

[@eggmister101]

My dad has terminal cancer and his diagnosis hit me leading me to now suffer with anxiety and depression. I’ve tried therapy multiple times over the last couple of years but I’m constantly told by therapists and mental health professionals that therapy won’t work if I’m dealing with something as extreme as my dad being terminally ill. I’m told I have to speak to a counsellor who focuses on cancer but I know that’s not what is the biggest factor contributing to my mental illness. I’m now scared to ask for help cos I don’t want to be pushed away again

[@amressa8955]

Thanks Kati

[@Christopher-jp5zo]

Kati can you talk about abandonment and how it can damage someone. What happens to somebody that has been abandoned? How much of an impact can it have?

[@_just_TK]

Random Commenter Kati already has been several great videos on Abandonment that I’ll link below! kzbin.info/www/bejne/gGPXo2Wajqqcqa8 kzbin.info/www/bejne/nn2rn6dqfJZ_bLs kzbin.info/www/bejne/lXy7dJttptxooqs

[@LittleLulubee]

Abandonment can have a major negative impact on your life

[@Christopher-jp5zo]

TK I have seen those, they are about the fear of being abandoned not the impacts of real abandonment

[@Christopher-jp5zo]

TK thank you for the links anyway

[@LittleLulubee]

@@Christopher-jp5zo One way is that it can negatively affect relationships. You could avoid people altogether, in order to avoid future abandonment. You could also push people away for that reason. Or the opposite- you could become super clingy and needy with people. All these things are caused by a fear of abandonment. It can also lead to anxiety, insecurity, trouble trusting others, isolation or dysfunctional relationships. You could also repeatedly date people who aren't available, which insures that they will abandon you- as a way to play out your former trauma.

[@elijah3639]

Hi Kati, I don’t know if you have already but can you do a video on a role reversal with parents and children and it’s effects? I recently started therapy and she said that there is a big role reversal there and she could not be more correct. Becoming a parent to your parent affects a lot of people I’m sure so if you could do a video on that that would be great! (I’m sorry if I should have contacted you somewhere else I’m not sure where)

[@_just_TK]

Nic By far the best way is to join Kati’s Patreon where she answers questions on her livestreams! Ck it out at www.patreon.com/katimorton

[@elijah3639]

TK thank you but I can’t afford that right now! Let’s just hope she sees this😂

[@deroxanlit4181]

Counseling doesn’t work for everyone. I stopped seeing counseling and life got better

[@sjzara]

I was recommended CBT for obsessive thoughts and anxiety. As a result of the exercises suggested to deal with anxiety I had an anxiety attack that led to depression that is still being treated 9 years later. My concern is not that some therapies don’t work, but that some therapies can be actually harmful. (I’m on long-term medication and thankfully that helps).

[@LittleLulubee]

I'm so sorry you've gone through that. There are definitely both therapies, therapists, and psych meds that are VERY harmful. People in the psychiatric community should talk about that more, and warn people. Instead of saying "Try it, you have nothing to lose". Because it's always a risk.

[@danielsmith-nh5hb]

Went to therapy that was humanistic and mindfulness based. That seems to be the only therapy available in my area after researching 100s of therapists. It didn't help at all, in fact I got worse. Talking about my childhood and admitting certain things for the first time and then telling her that it never got better from there. I put myself in isolation for 10 years, every day I went to work didn't speak and when I got home I sat there in the dark chain smoking. The only thing I did was relive all the bad memories in my head over and over to the point I didn't sleep for days at a time. I had a little bit of hope that one day I would leave the house and find some happiness (never been happy, excited, enthusiastic or felt love) but when I did leave the house i realised I had nothing to say. turns out sitting in silence reliving memories for 10 years kinda destroys your social skills (never had a friend, girlfriend and don't speak to family) and the abuse removed my feelings towards people. I'm basically an empty shell who's numb half the time and depressed the other half. Every place I went to, hobby or activity I tried and person I spoke to left me feeling worse. It was like going down a list of thing's and realising nothing had changed. The bad thoughts were still there and my mentality towards life was just being reinforce by every failure to find something that meant something to me. I asked my therapists for help numerous times and she just wanted to keep talking about my past like there was some key event that would pop up and all would be solved. I just wanted to stop the memories from tormenting me. Don't really want to be apart of society, I just want to have some peace finally.

[@ClandestineGirl16X]

Thank you Kati. Would you be able to discuss treatment resistant depression please?

[@Katimorton]

Yes!! It's on my list and something I am working on :) xoxo

[@ClandestineGirl16X]

@@Katimorton thank you so much ❤❤❤❤❤

[@renepeters945]

@@Katimorton Can't wait for it! Especially since I have treatment resistant depression and treatment resistant anxiety. Love your videos. 💜

[@RonLarhz]

What tf is that? I'm shiating my brains out just reading this. Now I'm scared I'm resistant, whatever that means...

[@ClandestineGirl16X]

@@RonLarhz i have been depressed for about 15 years and have tried numerous therapies, doctors, psychiatrists, therapists, and medications (31 to be exact) and my depression doesnt appear to respond to anything. i also dont know why and therapists cant figure out why i am depressed like this because i dont have any known trauma/abuse/etc... i hope you can get some clarity for yours though

[@_just_TK]

YES, KATI STILL DOES LIVESTREAMS!!! It’s on her Patreon, $5 a month gets u access. Break that down & that’s $1.25 week. Buy 1 less bottle of pop or bag of chips a week & instead put it towards supporting Kati!!!www.patreon.com/katimorton

[@cd4536]

Going to therapy is like going to the doctor for strep throat. Penicillin is the "best" but some people are allergic. Sometimes someone was recently treated with penicillin so a different antibiotic is best. Maybe that strain is penicillin resistant. Luckily there are many other antibiotic to choose from.

[@hunnybSue]

I have avoidant personality disorder, it affects me on a daily basis. I cant trust a therapist enough to open up. With the last one I walked away from, I was pushed too far. I dont do art in any form. I made this very clear at our first session. We were talking about resilience, she set me some homework about drawing a tree, then changing parts of it. I said no straight away, I did say its too traumatic to do the work. She then said, make it your own whatever that means.. I was so traumatized I dissasociated. I got so angry I tore everything up. I did mention it at my next session. All I was told, your a creative person and I feel you can do it. She then talked about exposure therapy. Being timed while drawing, I dont think so. More trauma. I know about being stretched, but this is too far. I said no art from the first. I had no option but to quit.

[@OurgasmComrade]

Psychedelic therapy has been showing promising research for treatment resistant depression and osd

[@ggstylz]

Regardless of the therapy one chooses to learn for managing OCD, it will need to include exposure therapy. OCD can be one of the most crippling conditions and it can take years to learn how to manage it well. It’s taken me over 2 decades. As pointed out in this video, feeling comfortable with a therapist who is an expert on the condition one’s trying to get help for is imperative. The machinations of OCD are fascinating and very very tricky, which also makes it very difficult to gauge improvement, which is why a person might feel there’s been no impact even after one year of therapy and hard work. In general, that’s not because the gold standard doesn’t work, usually it’s that the person secretly feels or wishes that these intrusive thoughts would disappear once and for all. Unfortunately these types of thoughts and feelings suggests a certain amount of avoidance being practiced (as a manifestation of compulsive behaviour) and this simply fuels the very thing one wants to rid themselves of. The more one accepts what they ordinarily identify as being intrusive and obsessive, the less so they’ll be. It’s a long journey but as my therapist used to say, you must desensitise. I still have extreme stress and elevated anxiety every now and then, but the severe manifestations of OCD that used to plague me for years are now non existent. I welcome all thoughts and happy to entertain them as long as it takes to drive the point home, that they’re only thoughts.

[@dawsonvardaman3400]

Kati can you go over bipolar where you hear and see hallucinations. I really want to know about it

[@Katimorton]

Of course! I thought i had already talked about this.. but I can't find it on my channel. So I added it to my list!! xoxo

[@dawsonvardaman3400]

@@Katimorton thank you so much

[@shevontea]

Okay so I remember about a year ago my mom hired me a therapist, I did therapy when I was younger but don’t remember it. Let me tell you she was the worst woman ever, she came to my house every week. She purposely triggered me, and you might think that’s good right? Well that’s all she did, I dreaded every time she came over. Sometimes she even yelled at me. She also said that if I didn’t obey, she’d stay their until I did. And she stayed for 2+ hours. I begged my parents to stop having her come, they didn’t. I also happen to have severe anxiety unfortunately, which I take medicine for, and the therapist just made my anxiety worse. My mom thought it was totally okay that she did this. I cried over it. Eventually, when the pandemic started she stopped coming. She was a licensed therapist, but wasn’t a good fit for me. My mom now finally agrees with me that she was not a good therapist. I don’t see her anymore, however she attends a church that I sometimes go to, but I don’t go for services. I just really hate thinking about it. One time my mom made her come without telling me, I cried a lot. I know that therapy isn’t the most enjoyable experience of course, but if someone dreads going to therapy, than the therapist probably isn’t a good fit. I cut/SH now, for a lot of reasons, but I’m scared that if I tell my parents that they’ll send me therapy again.