They don't just deny YOUR reality - they deny REALITIES reality.
@elainasilva8445 ай бұрын
LOL 😅😆😆 THAT IS SO TRUE, NARCISSIST REFUSE TO ADMIT REALITY IS REAL, EVEN WHEN YOU ACCUSE THEM OF WHAT EVERYONE KNOWS TO BE THE TRUTH!! ESPECIALLY A SELFISH EMOTIONAL IMMATURE, GOLD DIGGING NARCISSIST, ANOTHER SISTER OF MINE TYPED OUT A NEW WILL HAD MY DAD SIGN IT, THE NIGHT BEFORE 4 WAY HEART BYPASS, AND TOLD HIM IN FRONT OF: ME, HIS LAWYER, HIS BEST FRIEND, MY MOM,( OH JUST SIGN IT DAD ITS A NEW APPOROXY MAKING ME IN CHARGE OF YOUR HEALTH CARE DECISIONS INSTEAD OF MOM, BECAUSE I CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT GOING ON BETTER, IT IS JUST A HEALTH CARE APPROXY!!) LOL DENIGH DENIAL, SHE HAD HIM SIGN AN ENTIRE NEW WILL AND THEN PROCEEDED TO TAKE MY DAD OFF DIALYSIS SND LIFE SUPPORT, WITHIN ,,24 HOURS. SHE MADE GAIN 50 POUNDS IN LESS THAN A DAY, WITH LIW BLOOD PRESSURE SHE IGNORED, MY NARCISSIST SISTER INSISTED THE NURSES TAKE MY DAD OFF LIFE SUPPORT, AND DYLYSIS IN LESS THAN 48 HOURS AFTER OPEN HEART SURGERY, AND NEVER ALLOWED MY DAD'S HEART TO HEAL, BY ALLOWING HIM TO HAVE THE DYLYSIS MACHINE, HE SAID HE NEEDED AS WELL AS OXYGEN AND LIFE SUPPORT UP TO 6 WEEKS TO RECOVER PROPERY..SHE KILLED MY DAD, SHE TOOK HIM OFF THE LIFE SUPPORT ALL THE NURSES AND DR'S SAID HE NEEDED TO RECOVER, AND LIVE AFTER HAVING A 4 WAY OPEN HEART SURGERY!! THEN SHE KIDNAPED MY MOM TO HER HOUSE, TOOK HER OFF ALL HER CARDIO PILLS, AND POURED MORPHINE AND ATTAVAN DOWN MY MOMS THROAT WHILE SHE WAS UNCONSCIOUS , AND CAUSED HER TO DIE IF DEHYDRATION AFTER 7 DAYS!! SHE DENIGHED ME AFFECTION AND LIVE FROM MT PARENTS KILLING THEM BOTH!! MY ADVICE( DONT EVER MAKE ANYONE YOUR APPROXY!!! THEY WILL KILL YOU!! )
@david4ev5 ай бұрын
😂 it's sounds so stupid but it's so true. A professional narcissist tries to turn it on you when you realize who they are and you just want to laugh. I have been on social media scrolling but denying all these signs that I'm dealing with a narcissist then more come. I wanted to bring a recorder into it last month and she said not to. I'm a virgin narcissist victim sry lmfao
@mimi-lg8lo4 ай бұрын
What's up with the weird clip? The camera cutting away showing only a corner of a chair? 🤔 Fabulous information Dr. Rami! ❤️
@mic3964 ай бұрын
That is good one wow
@nltinc.48644 ай бұрын
Yes!! My husband denies his own lies, denies that he gaslights me, denies the impact that his begrudging has on me. He denies that his pedophilic friend behaved inappropriately around our 12 year old daughter and the impact that it had on me and on her. He can just proceed to deny watching me walk out the door.
@indexplus4 ай бұрын
If somebody says they never said that when they did, it is the end of conversation and respect
@user-zh5fh2li9u2 ай бұрын
I agree 100% !!
@chiarac38332 ай бұрын
Yes. And any relationship as well. I will be respected, not asking, I'm telling you.
@bethanndavis1152 ай бұрын
When they say they didn't say that, they are not gaslighting but lying.
@kenoconnell77302 ай бұрын
I have situations like this all the time where my wife denies saying something I know she said, but there have been times where she tells me I said something, and my daughter, whom I trust, backs her up. Very confusing for me.
@xoxjelloxox2 ай бұрын
Then I wonder if they forgot or I didn’t say that actually
@carmenkanitz97062 ай бұрын
Those type of people don’t have “insight”! They can’t recognize their own problems. Instead they blame others!
@Krikket-hm6pz24 күн бұрын
So true. Oh man, I have said that very thing about my mother who acts like she's above reproach, is never wrong, never at fault and always has a defense/deflection mechanism on the ready. The woman irks the sh*t out of me, so I've made her feel my distance. She hates it. I love it. 🧘♀️🙏😌
@cinny_20 күн бұрын
This is so true.
@JaquelineGoodspeed19 күн бұрын
@@Krikket-hm6pz She's your mother. Have a little respect and you don't hurt someone so you can feel good.
@pinchebruha40518 күн бұрын
@@JaquelineGoodspeedthe only time I’ve found myself agreeing with transgender people: some women are just birthers > zero when it comes to nurturing, so many lives destroyed by the very birther demanding respect for her Motherhood Badge. You sound like my professional career criminal drug addict life long friend/sister who demands the children respect the mother no matter what… never mind they don’t respect laws or others property… yeah no free pass for those that try to hide behind the I am a mother therefore respect me! 😢
@kathleen461116 күн бұрын
I don't think there's very intelligent
@paulfsweatt49482 ай бұрын
The best part is when they accuse you of gaslighting them repeatedly
@jrod701713 күн бұрын
💯%.
@lots379946 минут бұрын
🤔Sounds like the GOP.😅😅😅😅
@nicolewheat20935 ай бұрын
Also they accuse you of doing exactly what they are doing and then act as if you actually did something
@spaceghost89954 ай бұрын
That's what Donald Trump does everyday.
@AK207414 ай бұрын
It's called Deflection & it's all part of the behaviour
@michie05874 ай бұрын
@@spaceghost8995😂😂😂😂😂 TDS is real.
@spaceghost89954 ай бұрын
@@michie0587 You can't gaslight me.
@michie05874 ай бұрын
@@spaceghost8995 😂😂😂 The left always accuses the right of what they themselves are doing. Think about this. Who said Trump will get us in WW3? Look at where we are today. Seriously think about that.
@meathead56702 ай бұрын
They deliberately lie about their lie.
@anonymous111delta416 күн бұрын
if you wanna catch a liar just remember they have to tell more lies to cover the last lie the higher they stack; soon the lies fall
@mollyannmurphy41042 ай бұрын
Please keep teaching people about this .my friend ended up in serious danger . Managed to get herself out but it was a long road back
@user-vg6pj2my2n2 ай бұрын
Leaving my kid's dad was the BEST thing I did for us. Wish these youtubes were around back then. This clip rings so many bells. 😢
@southernhorseman20064 ай бұрын
I actually bought a recorder to record my narcissistic ex. Got divorced 14 years ago then found an awesome woman who I've been with for 8 years now. Life is so much better without having to deal with toxic people.
@jeffghalen45184 ай бұрын
God bless you. This is what I’m praying for.
@kennethspencer83794 ай бұрын
Same thing happened to me buddy. My current gf is awesome!
@jeffghalen45184 ай бұрын
@@kennethspencer8379 I bet you feel so light, almost like you had wings. 😅
@TalentedMisterHeat83 ай бұрын
Women are narcissists by nurture , so please understand the difference between being toxic and being narcissistic 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
@sophiepilatin14013 ай бұрын
@@TalentedMisterHeat8 Women aren't narcissists by nature.
@LisaLira5 ай бұрын
I started to record him. When he denied what he said, I played the recording. His response went from denying to “so what? Do you have a problem with me saying that? And why do you record everything?”
@vaska19994 ай бұрын
I hope he's in your past now.
@fumarate14 ай бұрын
Typical Narcissisit always got answer for everthing,always have to have the last say in everything and they will turn it on you and say your the one that always has the last say.
@1TightMinute4 ай бұрын
Then he probably went and told everyone how crazy you were and blew it out of proportion like you were taping his every move.
@dianawardrip51714 ай бұрын
Hope you dumped him!!!
@maryblushes71894 ай бұрын
They get abusive when you show them up.
@SUGAs_Shadow852 ай бұрын
One of my FAVORITE gaslights from a previous relationship: "you're twisting my words"
@TonyChev2 ай бұрын
I had chronic pain and was on pain meds for a misdiagnosed broken ankle. My ex constantly told me I said and did things I didn't do. I thought I might have been confused due to the drugs. Got surgery and no more meds. Figured out she was a lying narcissist. She's gone and I've found the woman of my dreams. The good thing is you appreciate a good spouse more after living through that hell!
@joeanderson67975 ай бұрын
16 yrs of me saying sorry and going to counseling because i was continually told im the reason that our marriage was not working..now 8yrs divorced and no antidepressants, no counseling, no stress, no gaslighting...Im very happy and live an almost stress free life...its wonderful and i now know im good enough and never needed her acceptance or approval to have happiness
@UNcommonSenseAUS4 ай бұрын
Been there boys. Recovery is long af from the years of abuse.
@gregmedlin52744 ай бұрын
Love it I went 25 years I was pretty damn stupid but I had kids and didn’t want them to grow up without a father in the house. And both of my kids grew up to be great people so it was worth it.
@UNcommonSenseAUS4 ай бұрын
@@gregmedlin5274 Same situation. Hung on as long as i could. Zero honesty. Zero accountability. Absolutely unbelievable the extent of the abuse & resultant trauma.
@UNcommonSenseAUS4 ай бұрын
@@gregmedlin5274 no good deed goes unpunished.
@honorableone6254 ай бұрын
Marriage is a trap
@octoberdawn10875 ай бұрын
I didn't get brave enough to start recording conversations until it was too late. It was literally the days that led up to me escaping. But by then he figured out that's what I was doing, and he changed from screaming to crying and seeming like a victim. These people are so good at their craft
@leahweinberger5834 ай бұрын
I wrote notes to myself. Eye opening at the time. Even better since I've moved on. Gaslight morphs your reality out of shape.
@francescathomas35024 ай бұрын
@@leahweinberger583 Yes Keep a diary. That is what I had to so against my gaslighting mother when I was a child.
@lightfriend093 ай бұрын
I had a family member like this. I believed their accusations and tried to fix myself for months. Then one day they blew up at me for something that was so far out of left field, I snapped out of it and realized their accusation wasn't based in reality. I went no contact that day. Still messed with my head even months later as I tried to sort through what was real and my fault and what was not. I'm thankful to be in a healthier place now with a wonderful husband who showed me you can actually work through conflict without drama, blame, and grudges.
@user-et5qs2en4cАй бұрын
Yes they are ❗️👍
@cr878629 күн бұрын
Sounds exactly like what my ex-husband used to do!!!!! 😮
@paulatristan81892 ай бұрын
I totally agree with everything this woman says. She hit the nail on the head with me. I had to figure out for myself the person I was talking to for a few years. We became close (no intimacy). Then after a while I noticed if we had disagreements he'd be the first to try to make me doubt what I said. Saying you're hearing me wrong, or you're the one with the problem or you have issues. When I'd call him out and pin point him down in a calm manor.. he'd keep quiet for a few seconds so would I. Then he'd say, I think we need a break. Meaning time away from each other. I guess he thought I'd be devastated by what he said. He waited for my response and I just said when I hang up the phone it will be the end of you. You're a narcissist, I'm not playing your games I know all about you. He then said, "wait" maybe we can , then he said I'm sorry which he found it hard to say at anytime to me. He started to go on talking while I quietly hung up the phone on him. Later the next morning at 5am I received this long text message from him. You know what ? I didn't even read it. I was DONE with him. I deleted the text and was so happy I did. I told him in an email his text was deleted. I blocked him on email, texting and blocked his calls. I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders ! It feels so good. Well guess what, I found out he's in a relationship with someone who is a complete narcissist omg. How do too narcissists make it together unless he simps down to her, I would totally disrespect that in him. Let him be someone else's problem.
@ChristinaB97822 ай бұрын
This is my supervisor 💯%!! She makes me hate going to work!!
@krisknowlton593518 күн бұрын
Just remember, people don't quit jobs, they quit bosses.
@shandagibbs21922 ай бұрын
Facts, and narcissists will always flip it on you. Start to make you think you’re the one tripping.
@lasombradelaluz88022 ай бұрын
Indeed, they always tried to pull it with me whenever I caught them in their lies and called them out on it.
@caveman3572 ай бұрын
Just got out of a relationship with a woman who was doing this to me. Crazy thing is that she is a therapist, and truly believes she is correct 100% of the time. Telling me that I said and asked things that I would never ever say
@Bluepearl1872 ай бұрын
Exactly, I’d tell him how I felt and he’d turn it around on me and make it about him.
@user-et5qs2en4cАй бұрын
Yep, I have one that is excellent at it❗️
@lisaclark6134Ай бұрын
Yes, and it usually works.....sadly!
@Infrared19675 ай бұрын
And if they can't deny they said it, they say maybe I did but you took it all wrong and you're too emotional.
@Smileater3 ай бұрын
Yeah, whenever they feel trapped, they go to aggrrsiveness or plain lack of shame and would use the "love" you feel for them (which normally is lack of self-steem or fear of loneliness) against you.
@jenniferlloyd95743 ай бұрын
Ok, I'm an adult and somis my sister, but she treats me this way.
@debarpitatarafder34172 ай бұрын
Absolutely
@user-sq8ug5ct1m2 ай бұрын
Oh so true
@jamesdavison24162 ай бұрын
yeah and you most likely are soooooo
@JoeJ-82822 ай бұрын
I lived with a roommate who was a major narcissist a few years ago. I'm glad he's gone now because I had to do that exact thing when talking to him, which I thought was just ridiculous. Needless to say, I feel MUCH better now, with no roommates at all, especially him!
@ruthiespotion2 ай бұрын
Holy. Wow. I knew it. I have numerous voice memos, because of this. I can’t bare to listen to them ever, but they’re there for my protection and validity.💗
@nadiavoun71375 ай бұрын
Yep. I had a boss who was narcissist gaslighted everyone. She eventually was charged with stealing hundreds of thousands $$ from the company. Then tried to blame people who she fired or quit years before. Stupidity is their middle name. They can't remember all their lies & always get caught.
@mariahconklin41505 ай бұрын
I know addicts do it also
@mariahconklin41505 ай бұрын
Exactly lol
@debbieblue58564 ай бұрын
I had a boss like that! I reported her to HR. I had been in a gas explosion. I had a TBI. She put me on disability. HR said she could not do that! I can come back. However, they will do everything to get fired. She would say mean things to me. I am a Certified Medical Coder with Associates. I just said, "I will stay in Long Term Disability."
@fumarate14 ай бұрын
like Judge says to lie you have to have a good memory.
@nickinurse64333 ай бұрын
We can say "always" when Trump finally is locked up
@TinySnek4 ай бұрын
It cutting to the sofa is killing me😂
@tianamarie9892 ай бұрын
Me too! I'm like, is she talking to herself?? Are they trying to portray something here with the cameras?
@veritylee5132 ай бұрын
The invisible interviewer.
@camez23452 ай бұрын
😂😂 I know! Like when Clint Eastwood talked to the empty chair 😂😂😂
@JDforeveralone2 ай бұрын
That what puzzled me too 😂!! Thought the furniture is some AI stuff!!
@karlamkuhn7602 ай бұрын
@@JDforeveraloneAltho I got it in the interview or whatever, your comment was Funny! Appreciate that! Thx! -Azariah (The LORD GOD HELPS) PSALM 20:1, 6-8; PROVERBS 16:25; ISAIAH 43; MATTHEW 24; DANIEL 3; JOHN 3:15-21; JOHN 14-21; ISAIAH 30:18-22; ACTS 1-3; REV 2:9; 3:9; GENESIS 6-9; PSALM 9:10
@Kathylopex-gf2uq18 күн бұрын
That advice needs to be publicized worldwide.
@haroldjackman20102 ай бұрын
I love Dr. Ramani. She brilliantly explains narcissism in plain English.
@ThePsychGuides2 ай бұрын
Recognise these signs in your partner. Such narcissists will make you feel unworthy and question your own identity. Living with such people is really terrible.
@Da_Xman15 күн бұрын
"Partner" is only incidental. Gaslighting applies to everyone (relatives, supposed "friends" and acquaintances, the people on the street, business people, clergy, social workers, co-workers, bosses, politicians (you get it - everyone and probably even your own damned self). No one's exempt.
@vocalsunleashed15 күн бұрын
@@Da_Xmanyes! I feel so gaslit by the social workers at assisted living where I live. I am going to record every conversation from now on
@Da_Xman15 күн бұрын
@@vocalsunleashed Just recognizing the situation for what it is will help immensely. You might politely state your observations - without blame - if there's an opportunity? Other than that, if you must follow the social worker's directions, the only choice is to do so or possibly lose any opportunities or benefits offered. Also, you might keep in mind that there's a possibility that what you're interpreting to be happening isn't actually quite what's going on but, instead, triggering a similar time in the past when something like that actually was. If you attempt to politely sort it out and it keeps happening, keep paying attention to see if what's just been mentioned might apply; if not, all you can do is either persevere and maybe learn and gain something or leave, whichever is most optimum. Simply observe, relax, be certain of yourself and at peace in your heart; don't doubt yourself; your alive and aware; that's the bottom line and quite enough to get you by until the situation changes for the better. And, keep on keepin' on - that's the really important part! ✨🌈♥️👋🥴👍✨
@robinelizabeth74115 ай бұрын
the first example is actually "dismissal" of another's emotions. the second example is actual gaslighting where they deny an actual real event
@fumarate14 ай бұрын
Or they play dumb and make you look like the stupid one.
@DadeMurphie3 ай бұрын
Came here to point that out.
@seajelly24213 ай бұрын
Yes and no. It is invalidation (dismissal), yes, but it goes beyond that. "You have no right to feel that way" is telling the person that not only is their emotional communication getting dismissed, but that _they themselves_ should _dismiss their own emotion._ That's what makes it also gaslighting. It's denying them their own reality (their emotions).
@DadeMurphie3 ай бұрын
@@seajelly2421 It's not gaslighting as it does not seek to make the person question the reality of whether or not they feel that way. It acknowledges the reality that they do feel that way.
@seajelly24213 ай бұрын
@@DadeMurphie but that's exactly what it does.
@awakenedmortals839119 күн бұрын
I appreciate this talking couch for putting together this interview for us
@cynthiab16592 ай бұрын
Yes !! This lady knows her stuff !!
@Kennedy4ever4 ай бұрын
He made me question my memory ALL the time. I began recording our discussions and listening to them later I finally realized how he would spin his words and try to twist my emotions in such a way that so that he would be the " " winner" and it was a huge affirmation that leaving him was the right thing to do.
@Smileater3 ай бұрын
I'm glad for you
@janviergalle3 ай бұрын
I deem that people nowadays are much more evil than 40 years back especially in the west.
@boxonothing40874 ай бұрын
Gaslighting people by accusing them of having gaslighted you has also become very common. It makes pushing back against actual gaslighting a lot harder.
@111...2 ай бұрын
Wow. That's horrible. I would find and work with a licensed therapist, one who is very familiar with narcissism; be prudent in researching them first by learning about narcissism, this way you can find a therapist who isn't pushing for clients based on psychological & social media pop culture "buzzwords", of claiming they're specialized in dealing with narcissism when, in fact, they're just looking for clients based on trendy labels. You pay them, you spill all to someone, so make sure that someone can actually help you, please. Good luck!
@Parcha642 ай бұрын
That's why it's best not to use buzzwords. Using the vocabulary to understand what you're going through is good around safe people. I caution against using the terms with a manipulative person and try describing the details of the conflict directly. You can use your knowledge of gaslighting by describing the definition through their actions. That way there's no weaseling out. You have a problem with their bad behavior, not with "gaslighting". Narcs are really bad at connecting their own actions to larger concepts, so you have to spoonfeed everything to them
@sunnyjoy2292 ай бұрын
@@Parcha64 so true!
@billcoupe44682 ай бұрын
She's just exactly right!!
@sararamos39032 ай бұрын
I’m so glad I saw this video. I’m a little older and I hear the word so much but now I totally get it and understand thanks to your explanation. Thank you once again.
@user-vd9bu1jz1i4 ай бұрын
It’s so annoying for someone to look you in the face and say they never said something YOU KNOW they said . Then they try to use “ how are you going to tell me what I said “ which is valid but STILL I KNOW for a fact what I heard you say. You said it ! 😭
@gracerev13 ай бұрын
Gaslighting is what we used to call lying.
@todayslist377372 ай бұрын
If we just stuck to the old terms I wouldn't have had to sit through this interview 😂
@WorthlessDeadEnd2 ай бұрын
Yes, but it's a specific form of lying. Simply accusing someone of lying is vague, and they can just as easily turn it on you and accuse you of lying. Knowing what these specific terms are and what they mean is helpful in the long term.
@warlockpaladin22612 ай бұрын
It's a bit more than lying on its own... the term refers to a specific technique that liars use.
@aprilbarter2 ай бұрын
And lying deliberately is called "bearing false witness against your neighbor".
@lizh1988Ай бұрын
It's done to disorient the person being gaslit, trying to make the victim feel as though they are disconnected from reality.
@herseem2 ай бұрын
Really excellent description, especially about the significance of feeling like you need to record conversations. I've been there, and she's right
@ybrmods342120 күн бұрын
I look after someone terribly ill. This makes my heart wretch every time they deny something horrible, they said. Wow, I could not have explained this any better than the clip did.
@joannadavignon16083 ай бұрын
I’ve been gaslighted all my life. What hurts is when you’re told that someone’s your friend as long as it’s just the two of you but when around others your not friends
@PhenomMy_Journey24 күн бұрын
Been through it. Feel your pain!
@SuperWisernow23 күн бұрын
Start getting away from that person and Find a REAL friend
@neneppete473722 күн бұрын
Two faced backstabbers 😮
@marshalucas79845 ай бұрын
A lot of relationships doesn’t even understand the concept of gaslighting! This is good!
@mariahconklin41505 ай бұрын
Right? 😂 I guess my boyfriend is a narcissist 😂
@helenbostock23505 ай бұрын
True thank you for explaining
@kristinmcmahan88143 ай бұрын
So true!! It happens gradually I didn’t understand why or what was happening for almost a year. Lots of crying, hurt & confusion before I wised up. Began to educate myself on this horrible type of abuse. It’s a hard thing to come to terms with and doesn’t happen quickly but the good news is no one can ever do that to me again. People will try and I will have no problem walking away.
@kristinej.41822 ай бұрын
Omg.. listening to her just gave me chills bc yes I actually was thinking that I needed to voice record my conversations with my ex to prove what was actually being said. So many conversations we had were about my trying to be heard the way I wanted to be heard bc he would often discredit my thoughts. What a blessing it was to get out of that mess.
@JohnJohnson-ds2gd17 күн бұрын
Re: "I never said that." ..with a self righteous attitude. Thank You. I used to question myself. No longer *Crazy how they end up alone or with someone lonely or sick and that person "needs" them.
@deewilson4463 ай бұрын
Listening & learning about narcissists makes me happy and reminds me how blessed I am that mine decided to move 1,000 miles away before he imploded 😂
@SpiderBRidin2 ай бұрын
Love hearing beautiful stories like this! Mine melted down right before my eyes, then I moved out, hit her with divorce papers, and she moved over 1,200 miles away. My dog was her replacement... Way more loyal.
@user-et5qs2en4cАй бұрын
🤣😂🤣❗️👍
@user-et5qs2en4cАй бұрын
@@SpiderBRidinHope things go well for you from here on😊
@katherinehunter932Ай бұрын
Look at that happy smile. Good for you!
@navneetakumar18145 ай бұрын
It is time for me to get out.
@beautiful_one59154 ай бұрын
Ditto
@dorothywillms1154 ай бұрын
Sounds like you 2 are in agreement so after 53 of a hellish marriage to an ADD nutcase I suggest you go. I didn’t because I had no way to support me and my 2 children, which he didn’t really want, and being from a very religious family and unsupportive parents I had no money, no support and no where to go. Tonight I found out he stole my inheritance and gave it to his favorite kid. It makes you want to die.
@suehowie1523 ай бұрын
Good luck..Life is better without a narcissist.
@user-uk3eh8ne7q2 ай бұрын
It's ALWAYS time to leave a narc.
@jimmysblacksmithing46213 күн бұрын
Very well said! Unbelievable, how there are so many people like that! And yes, if you do not have children walk away always! I feel terrible for children who are involved in the middle of these psychos!
@briannasteele41719 күн бұрын
Sadly, I didn't learn my mom was a narcissist until last year. And back in December, I recorded a conversation we had. Since then, I haven't called her, and I rarely answer her calls. When I do answer, I am very dry, and I barely engage. I choose to protect my peace and my energy. 33 years I've dealt with this behavior and more. There's so much I've had to rebuild within me and heal.
@catut70424 ай бұрын
mine stopped saying stuff once I started recording conversations.
@anthony197233 ай бұрын
She hit that spot on. The voice memo was the trick. I never thought it would come to that but it was always already that way. The voice memo was for me to actually believe I was told those things. It helped me get away. Pay attention.
@user-io9ie5cs8j2 ай бұрын
YES, almost exactly what I did
@betsygarcia43462 ай бұрын
I voice recorded and got out last weekend. I feel like I broke out of a POW camp, but I am feeling better day by day.
@user-io9ie5cs8j2 ай бұрын
@@betsygarcia4346 Good for you, Betsy! So glad to hear that. I know what you're going through. It gets better 😉
@anthony197232 ай бұрын
@@betsygarcia4346 Good for you! It's painful but you have to do it for yourself.
@SALTYCOMBATDIVER-ExInstructor2 ай бұрын
I thought if they heard themselves they would see what I was seeing. I never did record the conversations but told them it would be helpful if we had recorded conversations. They just gaslight you and accuse you of being the bad person. This seems to he a new development for some. Long term relationships have ended this way and I'm still confused as to why.
@corinnefogarty788018 күн бұрын
Excellent advice. Not that all narcissists will gaslight you. Some are just passive/aggressive or will walk away and leave you hanging. That's your clue to leave them. Honest relationships with them are impossible.
@kitt76523 күн бұрын
SO, SO TRUE. It's actually very frightening and feels like the carpet just got pulled from underneath you. LEAVE as quickly and quietly as possible. I did. He couldn't believe I had actually left and accused me of not telling him what I was going to do. To which I replied that I most certainly had🤣🤣
@spruce51235 ай бұрын
When you are experiencing true gaslighting... You will immediately feel uneasy in your gut.... And cognitively you will begin to question whatever it is that you believe to be true.... It's a very uneasy feeling that comes over you.... However take comfort and courage that the uneasy feeling is your instincts alerting you that you are being deceived.
@dani3235 ай бұрын
This 👆💯‼️Your gut/instinct/subconscious KNOWS! Even when the law says the opposite! And we are ignorant of the law, our subconscious (higher power/God's wisdom in us/universe) KNOWS! Trust y/our instincts/gut/inner voice. To be clear and be able to hear it, focus on own self (breath)🧘♀️
@jenniferbloh-michael86625 ай бұрын
Oh my God , it was AWFUL😊
@kanothe1874 ай бұрын
It's worse with triangulation because then with the parties outside of the individual corroborating each other it really makes the dissonance all the easier.
@fee63624 ай бұрын
Not if you are use to it from your parents
@fumarate14 ай бұрын
and the way they look at you its kind of like there sucking you in with there eyes and they hold in place but its hard to leave there space.
@TheAngieIshmael3 ай бұрын
Not "your" reality, but REALITY. Truth is objective.
@WorthlessDeadEnd2 ай бұрын
*_THANK_* you.
@warlockpaladin22612 ай бұрын
Says a lot about which collection of narcissists she is trying to cozy up to.
@moregrouchy2 ай бұрын
Facts are objective. Truth is subjective. Your truth is not my truth, that's a fact.
@oldmanyoung7892Ай бұрын
Yea. The ones agreeing w the clip are the gaslight ERS 😂
@WorthlessDeadEndАй бұрын
@@moregrouchy Lies. Truth is truth. There is no "your" truth. There is only truth. Gender means sex. It is not an abstract construct of society. Get out of here with your Marxist groupthink.
@L4Lxo2 ай бұрын
This hit me hard today 😔
@deec4112 ай бұрын
So true. My ex husband and long term ex boyfriend both did that. I have just met a wonderful, loving man and feel cherished for the first time in my life. ❤❤❤
@rottman885 ай бұрын
I was once married to a gaslighting narcissistic female! They do exist.
@hustlecrowe845 ай бұрын
I was dating one who tried to off me several times, I had to leave. Was I a saint? Absolutely not, at all. But, does it warrant being chained to a radiator, struck above the gentalia w/a hammer, stabbed in the hand with a pair of scissors, had hot cooking oil thrown at me, told i was gay because i wouldnt have sex on a healing broken hand (from being drunk punching a sign- again, no saint at all). But as a male, the 1 in 9 stat is not a reflective stat for males abused by female counterparts. My narc found me when I was homeless, knew I wouldn't turn down living with her, but it almost cost my life. I was in recovery, on MAT. She knowingly kept out bottles of Percs, and notes saying, "Hey, help yourself". She was the survivor of childhood sex trauma inflicted by her father, living with patterns that reflected a violent hypersexualized drive. In the end, I didn't want to call the police for having a toaster thrown in on me in the shower because (a) I was no saint, (b) I was put in fear, & (c) I would've been the one in cuffs or asked to leave any which way. Save the taxpayers money, walk away, survive, save yourself. Don't look back in anger, don't try to reconnect or tango with these people in the first place. Best decision was going homeless for five months and getting my own place out of it. But no supportive dv services really truly exist on an equitable level as women because of how many men do come forward, and how much doubt is cast.
@marshalucas79845 ай бұрын
I knew a woman that was gaslighted for years until she found her worth! Now she’s healing !
@Mikejames10805 ай бұрын
Most females are.
@cassievining3405 ай бұрын
@@hustlecrowe84I’m so sorry you went through that 😢
@dani3235 ай бұрын
Yeah, they DO exist! I grew up with one! My middle sister. I was looking for this comment. Thank you!
@barbarajordan31454 ай бұрын
Yep! That's when I realized I was being wrapped in a mind game and the one who was mature enough to stop the relationship. Run, don't walk away, RUN!
@Indy__isnt_it4 ай бұрын
It only gets worse with them as they age, belligerent MF'ers sorry, I'm telling their truth. He doesn't know I record his nasty verbal abuse probably 10 nasty recordings of his rants and rage. He also antagonizes physically, watch a pissed off kangaroo! They puff out their chest, fling their arms out wide, giving them an appearance of larger than what they are. This one puts his hands on his hips while chest puffing, extending his elbows so if I walk by I hit his arm, his wingspan is blocking a doorway, he's not a mother flucker AT ALL. If you want to laugh, Google kangaroo tangles with a human. (I used to like those cute little joeys, no more, nasty like a narc!!!)
@DrDlane2 ай бұрын
I always felt like I needed to record every conversation.
@shawnaw60121 күн бұрын
so true! i used to voice record my narc all the time! i have been narc free for 9 years now! never going through that hell again
@user-hm6tw8ks3m5 ай бұрын
I recorded them to show myself after a couple days of no contact when i start to miss them. To show how horrid they are and to not forget. That's not love.
@TinySnek4 ай бұрын
True wisdom 😅
@a2shillam2 ай бұрын
That is, in fact, addiction. When you become so used to the abusive mind games that have become your normal that you seek to fill the soundtrack in your mind when the voice is absent..... it was a horrible way to live. I was crying to get out, but out of what?? Nobody knew the extent of my trap, that place where I lived in my mind. 😢 Hell.
@jessicanielsen61345 ай бұрын
Using a tape recorder is definitely not so you can play it back to the narcissist (covert or overt)---- anyone who's tried this knows (1) the narcissist will still find a way to deflect/argue/gaslight, even if you've heard the convo word-for-word repeatedly and know otherwise, and (2) you *never* show the narcissist the tape recorder, because (at the very least) their "hurt" and "outrage" will overshadow any point one could make with info gleaned from said recordings, and once they know theyre being recorded they get even more manipulative and slippery
@nerored62355 ай бұрын
Not to mention the accusations of you trying to manipulate them and going out of your way to try to hurt or attack them or to use it as a weapon against them to make you feel guilty for doing it.
@shaut91204 ай бұрын
ya they refuse to listen to it and hangs up the phone
@Martive_Led3 ай бұрын
Don’t forget 13 states require two party consent before recording conversations; big players include CA, FL, PA, MI, MD, WA. This law applies to public as well as private property and requires any video to delete sound and/or the topic of the conversation.
@abost093 ай бұрын
@@Martive_LedI record so that I can validate my own memory so I'm not going crazy. But I do live in one of those states.
@Martive_Led3 ай бұрын
@@abost09 If the other party is privy to your ‘personal’ recording, you are still libel for prosecution.
@Carmen888882 ай бұрын
This is so true! I was in a relationship where I argued the discrepancies and he told me I was wrong. For a few months I tried to play it his way, until my conscience couldn’t take it anymore. Then I suggested we get a shared journal to write to each other our wants, our apologies, our joys with each other. He got so angry when I showed he what he said and what he did didn’t match, in his very own handwriting! I seriously thought he thought I was stupid and was messing with me. Turns out he was manic depressive. (Oh the stupid sh** we put up with in our 20s LOL)
@vc973223 күн бұрын
so true! and I got out! Praise Jah!
@jeepnj25025 ай бұрын
When you start having to screenshot convos bc they keep saying "i never promised that" "i never said id be there" etc. Its not denying your reality, its showing they dont feel promises or their words mean anything binding. Words are just tools for the moment to get what they want.
@vaska19994 ай бұрын
It's denying reality, not some private subjective experience.
@TinySnek4 ай бұрын
@@vaska1999😂😂🎉🎉❤❤
@mimithemermaid38605 ай бұрын
“Getting out” of a relationship is not always an option when it’s a close family member…
@vaska19994 ай бұрын
Dr Ramani has a number of videos describing strategies to use in such a situation. Well worth checking out.
@Vic-jw7vb4 ай бұрын
@@vaska1999 can you name them she has so many as I need to watch them too.
@francescathomas35024 ай бұрын
Yeah. Like my toxic mother!! I had to marry a foreigner and move to his country to get away from her.
@susanlisson70662 ай бұрын
There are ways and Dr Ramani has many videos to help you, plus sometimes there’s even helpful advice and support in the comments section of her videos. Good luck and I hope you find some peace. 🙏🏽
@koricastricone46042 ай бұрын
That’s what I was gonna say!! It’s my MOM that’s the problem!! & a narcissist can’t even be helped, cause they will NEVER admit they even have a problem in the first place! 🥺😢💔I’m beyond frustrated!!
@AuSunBlue16 күн бұрын
😲 I did this a couple of years ago and it made a large difference. I have only had one "occurrence" with the person, since. (Thank you, Lord!) It used to be a traumatic situation, almost, daily. If only I had thought of it sooner. My health would be better, but I am grateful for the idea and courage to do it. (I prayed for an answer to make it stop.)
@mrreemann37394 ай бұрын
My boss does this to me every day 😂 I probably should start writing it all down.
@lookingtowardsthesun2 ай бұрын
Please do. And if it escalates don't be afraid to report the person and leave as soon as you can.
@hamhead27653 ай бұрын
They also disappear during a conversation and then reappear
@andreabrunkow931413 күн бұрын
They aren't denying "YOUR" reality. There are not multiple realities. What they are denying IS REALITY.
@sandrajohnson82272 ай бұрын
She is absolutely right .
@cherylannebarillartist74534 ай бұрын
I would say to him, “ I WISH we had a recording”. His response would often be that he had a perfect memory, so we don’t need a recording.
@eire78883 ай бұрын
😂😂
@maryrorick61292 ай бұрын
Sounds like my dad with my poor mom. :-(
@jeanlapoint82975 ай бұрын
I had to be out of the house to see it. I needed the kids at my place (a few months after we had separated) because school was starting the next day. He said school doesn’t start tomorrow. Everybody knows it starts Wednesday! School starts every year on Wednesday! It was even in this week’s paper! You’re so ridiculous! School did start the next day. I was right and all of a sudden I realized he’d been doing this to me for years and making me feel stupid all that time! My decision to leave has been reinforced so many times over!
@mykeprior34363 ай бұрын
lol you got a date right and think that invalidates an entire relationship. jesus.
@brendajohnson1503 ай бұрын
Lol!😂😂😂😅
@AkeruZikora2 ай бұрын
@@mykeprior3436 She said she realised he'd been doing it before in other cases.
@marilynschmidt64002 ай бұрын
Shuts them right down when you say "why would I say that?" They try and mess with your head and try to put their misery onto you
@jonisauers51302 ай бұрын
That's so true! I used to tell him that I was going to record our conversations because it was ridiculous!! Thanks for the validation 💜
@KB-ih5gf5 ай бұрын
I wasn’t recording them but I did run to my journal afterwards and paraphrase them for future reference 🤦♀️
@Futurefeatureco5 ай бұрын
Thanks for posting ❤ it’s life changing for us who are victims of narcissists 😢
@dani3235 ай бұрын
Stay the course. I encourage you and everyone else to keep on #movingforward . 1️⃣step then the next. That's it! Let's Meet with others at the front line of Survivors! Next🆙Let's move beyond that! Transformation of our self is the best gift 💝 to humanity! Finish line 🏁 ❤
@mykeprior34363 ай бұрын
Maybe stop clinging to being a victim like a wet blanket and grow up. Very few people in the west are true "victims" of any kind of oppression or traumatic event.
@rosemarieramsingh87492 ай бұрын
She is the best!❤ right on!
@MissMohz4 ай бұрын
100% true. He denied so much that I had to tape him just to play I back when he called me a liar. And yes, not too long after I had to leave No contact - the peace I gained afterwards is priceless.
@sylviafernandes88182 ай бұрын
He tells me to change my thought process or stop thinking all together. He's never wrong & even if he's wrong he's right.😢
@johnbarr21002 ай бұрын
I switched and made all serious conversations to either text or email. She would still gaslight and deny what she said even when it was in writing. The sheer insane pathetic nature of them is quite sad and ridiculous once you truly see it for what it is.
@usualsuspects424 ай бұрын
mine would say "that's not the word I used, I wouldn't have used that word" so any discussion of what I was upset about would never happen. I would say, "so, unless I carry around a tape recorder to get what you say on tape, we can never discuss it. I can't believe I stayed.
@420Mrgreenkush2 ай бұрын
I cant believe I staying 😢
@usualsuspects422 ай бұрын
@@420Mrgreenkush Be kind to yourself, you are staying right now because It is VERY VERY difficult to get away. But you can do it. Just start thinking about it. Don't let him know anything you are thinking. Don't let him know anything.
@Lostinathens2 ай бұрын
@@usualsuspects42exactly
@bettyc.parker-young14372 ай бұрын
@@420Mrgreenkush I left a very bad marriage 20 years ago abruptly. No plan. For me that was the best way by surprise. I am very happy now. God bless.❤ You have lots of resources now. Look into them but not on your gadgets. On others. Get assistance. 👍
@janiecepoush19044 ай бұрын
~ I Never Said That! ~ I never Did That! ~ If your Feelings are hurt… That means you’re being selfish! 🙏🏻🕊🍃
@theirishsaint43244 ай бұрын
Or the really big brain stuff, “well I’m sorry I hurt your feelings, it wasn’t my intention.” Immediately repeats what I said was hurtful.
@janiecepoush19044 ай бұрын
Classic Narc ~ Yip! My EX insulted my B-I-L in a Restaurant for “Being SHORT & Sm. In Stature ~ Telling him, “He looked FEM!” So I replied, “Your New Pinkie Ring REALLY LOOKS “New Orleans Parade Gaudy!”Joe was born smaller, but he’s a Big Man to his Family that Loves Him Dearly! What’s your Excuse, Bulwinkle?” He turned Red & Left me to get home on My OWN (w/ my Sis)! At least I didn’t have to FLY HOME Fm Another STATE … Yip! That too! Well worth the Air Fare for the Enlightenment gained! Many Narcs often mistaken, Kind, generous & Easy Going Empaths as Stupid & Weak! Big Mistake! Big BIG Mistake! Pushed to the Limit & ‘We Can Be Quite Dangerous!’ So says the Experts… Never thought of it like that, but, yeah! 🙏🏻💛🕊🍃
@jenniferlloyd95743 ай бұрын
Or, in a lowered, threatening voice: "ha, ha, ha you're just too sensitive"
@Jmar10242 ай бұрын
@@theirishsaint4324that's a non-apology. It's YOUR fault for being so offended My ex and current gf pull the same bs and when I call them out I'm the villain. Ugh
@missrita18262 ай бұрын
Thank you for explaining what gaslighting is, never know the meaning before.
@Marebo072 ай бұрын
Love you Doc, thank you for all you do , teach and tell❤❤😊
@tonivenneberg60873 ай бұрын
So TRUE! With my Ex for 17yrs. Always denied he said things, I started writing them on the calendar. He got so mad at this and tore it down!!! Go figure!
@fumarate125 күн бұрын
Yes they hate the truth.
@lorsange11075 ай бұрын
Be brave and get out! Don't be like the most of us. 😢
@patricewilcox792Ай бұрын
😊 THANK YOU 😊 THEY RESPECT NO ONE ELSE 😢
@LonjeMarie72 ай бұрын
She is one of my favorite people who I have learned so much and mostly coping skills and when it’s time to leave dealing with a narcissistic person . Yup,if you have a tendency and you feel you need to record the conversation ,like she said, it’s probably time to leave the‘relationship’,at the minimum Greatly minimize your exposure to the very unhealthy person
@becklaneartist5 ай бұрын
I've had multiple narcissistic, abusive bosses but one of the last ones targeted me to a point where I did record him & reported him to hr. The crap he did & said was so bizarre & over the top he made other employees afraid for their jobs as well as their lives. In the end, the company owner, hr & a GM had a meeting with me & tried gaslighting me over his horrible behavior. Your videos helped me understand what was going on. I'm still suffering from PTSD from the non-stop abuse - I can't work for anyone anymore but, at least, I can see the behavior more clearly now.
@elainasilva8445 ай бұрын
IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM I TOLD THEM I JEPT FALLING DOEN EVERYTIME MY SISTER STARTED SCREAMING AT ME AND I TOLD THE DR. MY ARMS JEEP MOVING UP AND DOWN WHEN I TRYING TO SLEEP AND MY ENTIRE TORSO MOVES UP AND DOWN IN THE BED, AND SHAKES LIKE IM HAVING SEIZURES, I CANT STOP IT EVERY NIGHT WHILE IM TRYING TO SLEEP AND EVERY MORNING I WOKE UP GAGGING AT 6 AM TO 12 NOON NOT BE ABLE TO STOP AND HE SAID YOU DEVELOPED P.T. S.D. SEVERE HIGH BLOID PRESSURE 200/ 90 ECT DAY AFTER DAY FOR 45 PLUS DAYS IT ROOK WEEKS OF BEING NURTURED AND SWEET TALKED TO BY MY LIVING NEICE TO MAKE ME FEEL SAFE, SECURE, LOVED, AGAIN, ENOUGH FOR THE NIGHT SEIZURES TO FINALLY STOP, AND THE MORNING SEVERE REFLUXING FROM P.T S.D. BUT I STILL CANT FALL ASLEEP AFTER WORKING 10 PLUS HOURS UNTIL 1 OR 2 AM THEN I NEED. TO GET UP BY 8 AM UGH!! P.T.S.D. FOR LIFE SUCKS!! EVERY MILITARY MAN HAS IT, BUT OUR GOVERNMENT WOULD GO BANKRUPT IF THEY DIAGNOSED AND TREATED EVERY ONE OF OUR BRAVE SELFLESS SOLDIERS, THE IS A REASON WHY DR 'S REFUSE TO GIVE PATIENTS REFERRALS!!! ALL EVIL STARTS AND ENDS WITH MONEY AS A MOTIVE!!!
@elainasilva8445 ай бұрын
IM SO SO SORRY TO HEAR THAT YOU AND SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE ARE BEING ABUSED, AND TAUNTED/ MADE FUN OF/ MADE LIGHT OF THE MATTER OF THE VICTIMS BECOMING ILL, EMOTIONALLY, AND PHYICALLY, BY SELFISH, ABUSIVE NARCISSIST IN THIS WORLD!!! GOD BLESS ALL THE LOVING KIND PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD AND PROTECT THEM FROM ALL NARCISSIST AMEN!!! / SO BE IT!!
@mic3965 ай бұрын
@@elainasilva844 Thank you Hit 🎯 on nose
@janiecepoush19044 ай бұрын
When we have Wisdom, which is a Gift from the Holy Spirit… We can watch for the ‘Red Flags,’ of Narcissism! When you apply all of the knowledge of not being involved, you can CHOOSE to stay off of the Narcissist’s Hit List! Dr. Ramani explains the Acronym D.E.E.P. ~ Don’t Deny… ~ Don’t Explain… ~ Don’t ENGAGE… ~ Don’t Personalize! Because these Demon People WILL WIN! They use Tactics that ALL Good People Do Not Know… It’s like Showing up to an Auction, w/ ZERO Money… Dinner, w/o Food, a Test w/o Studying~ Good People should not Wrestle w/Pigs in the Mud! You will only LOSE & Get up Muddy! So, when you have a “Demon Narc Person-BOSS’ you have to allow them to Always take Center Stage, while you, stay Silent. If it is a Job… This will allow you to keep your Head & Emotions long enough TO LOOK FOR A NEW JOB if the Narc Targets You! I have studied thousands of hours… The More Emotionally Mature & Happy we are with our Own Life, the Easier it is to … “WALK AWAY” w/o Wasting any Energy! It made me Sad when you said that you couldn’t work with others… The Narcs are only 20 ~ 25% of the World… Which means, the majority 75-80 of people ARE NORMAL, ie. “GOOD PEOPLE!” GOD would have us develop Wisdom from our Hard Experiences & Not Isolate & Allow the Bad people to Dictate our Lives into Isolation! 🙏🏻WE CAN CHOOSE to BE BEAVE & CHOOSE LIFE! CHOOSE WHOM YOU WILL ASSOCIATE WITH & WHOM YOU WILL WALK AWAY FROM! WE CAN DO THIS, by Watching for the Signs! 🙏🏻Blessings! 🕊🍃
@TinySnek4 ай бұрын
@@elainasilva844❤❤❤
@heatherrae46534 ай бұрын
Literally after an argument where he went into a rage which did not meet the level of conflict we were engaged in... - I started writing, "I'm writing about this interaction immediately afterwards, because I feel as if I've been gaslit before so I want to make sure my whole truth is written down in the moment." 🤦🏼♀️
@814MissleeАй бұрын
Yes..spot on!! I told my boyfriend that I'm going to start recording our conversation.. Thank you
@dtrude0002 ай бұрын
I was married to one. Explanation spot on.
@0800HOE3 ай бұрын
I find it amazing that so many people are talking about narcissists. From 2008 to 2016 (with a 3 year break) I was with one and NOONE was talking about it. I didn't know what I was up against and didn't know what was happening. I finally got out after stumbling on a website. She spoke of similar scenerios that I went through. But the genius of her realization was one question she repeatedly asked herself and I often would ask myself. And the ultimate question you find yourseld asking yourself when you are with a narcissist is this, "Am I Crazy"? This means you are with a narcissist. RUN!
@lizh1988Ай бұрын
To some people it seems like a fad, but the absolute selfishness of a narcissist so fits the descriptions that people talk about. I guess this is a period of time when this sort of thing just has to be dealt with. For me it's been a blessing to have to stay in and focus on the internet. C19 got me in the Long Haul, for a year and a half I didn't leave the front sidewalk. I'm no contact with most of the people in my life who fit the description. Minimal contact with one, not sure how far I can get away from this one. I'm still recovering from so much. But so glad this all is being talked about, and I was prepared for it.
@user-bv9df2ol7qАй бұрын
Exactly!!! When I started asking myself "Am I crazy?" It took me a second and then I realized, crazy people don't know they are crazy and would never ask themselves that question.
@karenquinn17075 ай бұрын
My ex-husband gaslit me constantly. 29 years with my narc! Ugh! I was his empathic dreamgirl. Never again!
@crystalgreen60275 ай бұрын
Yeah, I am with a gaslighter and a never-ending talker, married for 21 years. I know that, and I just don't listen to that nonsense. But I didn't have a happy life for 20 years, and we have three children. Now I am waiting for the last one, which is 17, y/o get a license, and car, and set into college. Then I am planning to be free and happy!
@fightingfiresusa29614 ай бұрын
30 years here. God bless both of you ❤ Thank you for posting your experience, it means so much.
@dorothywillms1154 ай бұрын
53 years! Why didn’t I just up and leave. I came from a religious home and hyper and angry mother. Divorce was considered evil and I couldn’t go back to my parents. I had no money,no support, few friends and a baby. Who could I have left her with?? I couldn’t afford a babysitter and never heard of welfare. So I stuck it out. Turns out I finally took him to one of Dr. Amens clinics and found out he and my child both have ADHD. Now he’s going almost totally deaf and acts so self righteous and holy it makes me want to die. Tonight I found out he took my inheritance and gave it to his favorite kid. In all these years I never argued about money but this is more than I can bear. Time to send him to the old folks joint. Trouble is he is very strong and at 75 still works long hours on his precious farm. About 10 friends of mine have died. We live out in the sticks and Iam isolated. Sorry for complaining and thanks for listening. Oh by the way councelling did nothing because he knows better. KZbin is my companion. Any other old women out there who understand my fate??
@conquerunderstanding75172 ай бұрын
Haha! That’s the truth. I was married for 19 years and got fed up with having to record every conversation it’s psychotic. It’s been 6 years of complete joy now. 😊
@almaburns656221 күн бұрын
"It's all in your mind, you imagined it."
@naesews4 ай бұрын
You have opened my eyes to the people in my life. I thought I was nuts.
@user-is6gt2tz9w4 ай бұрын
I'm glad I found these videos. Because It's so true💯%.
@ranjur662 ай бұрын
Yes it's true...often my husband says I never said that, denying reality is so often with my husband and mom in law..dealing with two Narcissists
@Rasheens-StoryАй бұрын
A guy I was seeing kept doing that to me and whenever I would call him out on his BS, he would get super aggressive in order to shut me up so I would stop asking questions and go along with whatever he said happened. I’m so glad I broke up with him. I can’t deal with that, being with a narcissist is draining
@djmandyland5 ай бұрын
The really intelligent ones will say "you're denying my reality!" Right back and its like you can't even combat that because their reality is literally distorted so they literally do view you as the one gaslighting them too but you are living in TRUTH. My ex was so good at manipulation he would tell me "you don't realize do you? You're completely gaslighting me and you don't even know it, listen to yourself Amanda!" I'd lay in bed all night wracking my brain wondering what in the world just happened. Then I finally became grounded in reality and facts enough to say stop... I know what you are doing, I am trying to come up with a mutually loving and beneficial solution for us both while you steer the entire conversation in a direction that puts me down and makes me doubt the actual truth. That's of course when he started raging because he knew I broke free of his spell so to speak.
@Hafhafnhaf4 ай бұрын
I Assume you left because you're still coherent and alive.
@fumarate14 ай бұрын
sometimes it can take years to wake up to them cause they fail to see the future and once they are expose all hell break lose,
@vickibazter34464 ай бұрын
They also say "THAT'S IN THE PAST."
@TinySnek4 ай бұрын
Yes and “you like to live in the past” or “I don’t hold grudges”
@vickibazter34463 ай бұрын
@@TinySnek Meanwhile they live their whole life in the past! They live their trauma out daily and abuse others, instead of FACING THEIR PAST. THEY ARE COWARDS.
@Freespiritedqueen3 ай бұрын
Mine does too!!😂😂😊
@Freespiritedqueen3 ай бұрын
@@vickibazter3446I believe in FACING YOUR PAST. Mine does that also like some playbook, bizarre 😂
@Doohopper_Grandma25 күн бұрын
I was married to that person for 25 years . He would deny that he said and did the things he did and try to twist it around that I did them or made it up.The counselors didn’t know how to deal with him.counseling didn’t help because he would just lie about his behavior and refuse to cooperate to change it! Thank you for Varification thus. Yes I often tried to record him but if he knew I was doing it would straighten up his behavior at the moment.