What is the bi cycle and are you on it? Fluid bisexuality explained

The bi cycle is something many of us bisexual people experience. This video explains what it is and how it can affect us.
It also discusses how the bi cycle can cause confusion and difficulty for some bi people and how we can learn to navigate our fluid bisexuality better.
If you are a fluid bisexual or you’d like to understand bisexuality more then this is for you.
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#bi #bisexual #fluid

[@notdefining]

- To book a private 1:1 coaching session with Mark, visit us at www.notdefining.com/coaching-info. - To join our monthly group sessions and write in your questions to Mark, visit: patreon.com/notdefining.

[@kararemington5525]

I only learned about the bi cycle about a year ago and it was a lightbulb moment. I always thought I was just weird. I fluctuate in my attraction a couple times a month. I'll be super into girls, then guys, then everyone, then I'll have periods were I have 0 attraction to anyone. So nice to know it was not just me.

[@notdefining]

I’m so glad you learned that you’re not alone.

[@wareforcoin5780]

It occupied the same category in my brain as other things everyone does. Like, intellectually I knew only bi people do it, but emotionally I can't conceive of it not happening so it must happen for everyone. I didn't even know it had a name, I just accepted it.

[@notdefining]

🩷🩷🩷

[@brotherjohnjohn-bibleart777]

Same here wow 😊

[@mihaelamars]

Same!

[@laureliz93]

Omg this is so validating and makes a lot of sense! I thought I was crazy or confused. Two years ago I nearly ended my marriage because I thought I might be lesbian and not bi. Now reflecting back it was a very intense bi cycle. I wish I knew this was a thing sooner and saved myself a lot of anguish

[@notdefining]

I’m so glad you found it. Sending so much love.

[@lilypad9965]

Woahh this makes so much sense. I only just realized I was bi about a year and a half ago when I found myself liking this girl. She liked me back, and there was something there for a while. I was sad for months when she ended things , but what scared me even more was that as I started getting over those feelings I also started shifting away from liking girls so much. I had been extremely into women for a couple months, but suddenly I felt that sort of slipping into the background and I started liking guys more strongly again. Definitley made me question if my feelings for her had ever been real, so this video was much needed. Thank you so much!

[@notdefining]

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. I’m glad the content was beneficial. Sending so much love to you.

[@notdefining]

@@Sheshini So statistically most bi people of all genders are in different gender relationships but I'm not sure the difference between bi men and bi women. Could be as you say but not sure.

[@paige1021]

omg i’ve had such a similar situation. i was convinced i was a lesbian when i had my thing with this girl, but now i find myself shifting away slightly from my attraction to women and i got so scared that my feelings toward her were all fake. but this has happened before and i always end up cycling back and forth between gender preferences. nice to know i’m not alone:))

[@ethancanon2882]

My Ex boyfriend broke up with me because he suddenly started having strong attraction for women again after a year of relationship with me (M) and for him it was a sign that he is not bi "anymore" but straight. I talked about the Bi- Cycle and how it works and yet he broke up not because he doesn't love me anymore but because he misses female genitals that I don't have. So he didn't even try to separate the person that I am ( the emotional,intellectual connection) to my gender and that what hits most. He panicked and ran away instead of trying to understand it with me

[@notdefining]

Hey I’m really sorry to hear that you had to go through this. It sounds like it hit really hard for you. We’re here for you. Sending so much love and hugs x

[@coltthestarsheriff3544]

I wish i stumbled on someone like you during my adolescence years. It would have made things much easier and way less confusing.

[@drick2480]

I think coming to terms with and accepting the bi cycle/fluidity for what it is has been the most impactful thing for me in terms of accepting my bisexuality. Before knowing anything about it i found the fluidity of my preferences/desires to be a source of great confusion and anguish. Am i gay, am i straight, maybe i am in denial? Id ask myself. At some points in my life i have been like i love women, then in others i have been like i love transwomen (could have been considered a "chaser" it was that bad), then in certain circumstances i have been like i actually dig men more... and on and on we go. These cycles lasted from multiple years to mere days/weeks. So confusing and since i lacked the knowledge and the proper language to process it, I struggled to make sense of it all. But as you said its a completely normal occurence in bi people and should be embraced as such. Still super tricky to explain to non-bi folk without reinforcing the stereotypes of us being "confused" or lending credence to the idea we should just "pick a side"😅. All in all, i have the potential to be sexually attracted to all genders at all times, which is why i am bi, but my preferences are absolutely fluid which is also valid. Thank you for your informative video, i am learning so much from your channel!

[@notdefining]

Thank you so much for sharing. You are helping so many people feel seen. Appreciate you.

[@ulrikeklein1787]

Thanks for this amazing video. I am in a long-term happy relationship with a man and struggle a lot with bicycling and the instability of being bisexual. It feels so good to hear that it's okay and other bisexual people feel the same.

[@notdefining]

Hey I’m so glad you feel seen. You are not alone.

[@cameronishere]

you and me both! me and my partner are going 5 years strong and i'm glad to know that i'm not the only one who deals with this :)

[@Cluedos2u]

The bicycle is something with two wheels and allows you to travel faster than walking 😂

[@notdefining]

Haha. Good definition.

[@BeautyMonster1000]

Great video Mark, this really helped me understand how not to panic when I'm going through the bi cycle. Personally, I've heard most bi+ people say that going through the bi cycle is just confirmation for them that they're definitely bi and I can relate to that myself as well. I found this video completely validating and comforting since I do go through the bi cycle often. I found it really helpful. I wouldn't be going through something like that if I didn't have the capacity to be attracted to multiple genders, although I do understand where the panic comes from because I've gone through it, especially right after coming out. A fact about me up until this point is that I haven't dated any men since coming out as bisexual. I do in fact have a preference for women, which I believe I really figured out when I allowed myself the opportunity to date several women and explore that side of my sexuality. Through doing that I realized how much I adore women and how strong my preference is for them when it comes to relationships. Before I came out, I had only dated men. Of course, I had no idea what it was like being with a woman at all at that point but I still knew I was attracted to them. I really related to lots of things you said in this video especially about the bi cycle panic happening around the time of coming out, finding that your attractions stick on certain genders for a long time, focusing very hard on the gender of individuals and having a hard time getting off of that, etc. This video opened my mind and eyes a lot more to the possibility of me being able to fully accept the fact that I have a fluid sexuality and that doesn't mean that my sexuality in itself is a phase but that there can be phases within my sexuality without the sexuality itself being a phase and I think people really need to understand that about bisexuality and any fluid sexuality really. I also really appreciate what you said about different types of attraction within sexuality. Such as romantic and sexual. That is very important to understand about every sexuality. Robyn Ochs definition of bisexuality mentions individuals having the capacity to be attracted to multiple genders, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way and not necessarily to the same degree and I think that's a perfect way to define bisexuality as there are many ways that it can work and still be valid. I also like how you brought up the point of how life changes can affect the way your sexuality behaves. I find that to be incredibly true in my own life. Things can always happen that make you feel differently towards certain genders and that's important to address and learn how to accept, so I appreciate you adding that point into this video. Also, what you said about remembering that both gender and sex are spectrums was absolutely brilliant and incredibly true and it's really important that we bisexuals remember that considering the way our sexuality tends to work, with its' fluidity. The point is, it makes sense for bisexuals to operate fluidly when it comes to our sexuality, so it shouldn't be something to panic over. 🙂

[@notdefining]

Hey thanks so so much for sharing your perspectives and experiences. It truly honours me to have your comments here to add to the content I put out. So many people will read this and gain strength from it. We’re always here for you no matter what feelings or thoughts or relationships you have and you’re a beloved member of our community. Sending so much love to you and thank you as always once again. Mark x

[@summerbreeze9117]

This is extremely deep, You understand my spectrum...Wow! No one talks about bi-sexual orientation with such compassion!

[@notdefining]

Ah thank you this means a lot

[@mihaelamars]

No wonder I'm constantly questioning my sexuality. It's exhausting.

[@lolwatisdis3312]

this is so validating

[@notdefining]

Hey I’m so glad. You belong.

[@summerbreeze9117]

Wow! This is absolutely Amazing...Finally the explanation after 20 years!

[@notdefining]

I’m so glad

[@ImQuiteGay]

I’m opening myself up to accepting my Bi-ness more. I think that I can really repress it because of the shame I start feeling for feeling “not gay enough” or for feeling like I’m going to lose my “credibility” in my orientation, if that makes sense.

[@dang1099]

Good video! It's interesting that you touched upon the bicycle being affected by changes in people's lives as that's what happen to me.

[@notdefining]

Hey I’m so glad you could connect with it. Always here to help and support you.

[@umitburcugoksel7661]

I think i experience this cycle according to my menstural cycle.

[@notdefining]

That is very natural but sadly not talked about enough

[@ceciliaphillips836]

It was 3 weeks ago i started facing exactly this thing. I was NEVER attracted to females but only men in fact i was very attracted to males but then suddenly got a crush on a girl i thought it was really weird and got really scared and at the same time i had exams and could not concentrate and tried so many sexuality tests. It was as if i wasnt myself at all. Im glad i found this video. Fluidity made me realise im bi :)

[@notdefining]

Hey I’m so glad you have found this realisation. It can be really rough, right? Totally hear you.

[@mati.wlr-]

I’m 14 and just a few weeks ago I started to think that I may be not a 100% straight, I looked it up (did the quizzes ofc) and came to conclusion that I maybe do like girls. But since then I’m really unsure about my sexuality. In the past I only remember having crushes on boys or even having a “relationship” w them. But since I realized I may be bisexual it changes always and sometimes I feel like no attraction to boys but I tell myself “oh yes you do like boys, you’re not a lesbian” and I freak out about thinking I might not like boys. But then I like boys again and kinda think I’m straight and I start worrying again. I know I’m really young and only in my early teens but it really freaks me out right now…

[@notdefining]

Hey thanks so much for reaching out. It can be really worrying and scary can’t it? But you’re in the right place. If not done already check out my other videos as I think there could be a lot for you here to help you understand what’s going on for you and navigate things. We’re always here to help. One thing I find helpful to do is to consider people as humans. Don’t consider them as male or female (scientifically we’re all a spectrum rather than a binary anyway so this is actually the natural way to think about it. Gender is a made up construct human society has invented. That’s why it’s so seemingly confusing when you like men and women and can’t seem to get a handle on it. Man and woman don’t actually scientifically exist as distinct categories. They’re just different types of people). So you find people attractive. What kind of people? Tall people? Small people? Strong people? Cute people? Gentle, kind, energetic, intelligent people? Think about that. I promise you it will lead you to an amazingly solid and fulfilling grounding in what you actually desire and what type of person may connect well with you. Thinking about gender will never stop confusing you. Trust me. There is no definitive answer. No one is 100% straight. It’s technically impossible. But anyway. What type of traits do you like? Take it from there and see how you go. I’m always here to support so don’t struggle alone. Sending all my love x

[@mati.wlr-]

@@notdefining thank u so much I’ll try to do that

[@notdefining]

🩷🩷🩷

[@adeliak8222]

bi cycle 🚴‍♂️ im sorry i couldn't thanks for the video!

[@notdefining]

🤪😂

[@louisjames62516]

What advice would you have for some experiencing the bi-cycle while being married or in a long term relationship? What if they experience a period of time when they are more attracted to a gender that their partner isn’t and are experiencing a temporary lessened attraction to their partner’s gender?

[@notdefining]

Excellent question. Check out this video and let me know if it helps. kzbin.info/www/bejne/haSTnH6vmpeUZ7s

[@KrypticDonut]

Honestly its a good way to put it and it makes so much sense.

[@notdefining]

Hey thanks. I’m glad it was helpful.

[@ididntsaythis8109]

Thank you! You have given me peace in my identity for the first time in almost twenty years.

[@notdefining]

Wow. I’m so blessed to hear this. Thank you for taking the time to write this down. You deserve it so much.

[@johnrouze6280]

Today's topic is so appropriate in better understanding the significance of the "bi-cycle". The example of using a "spectrum" to evaluate desires works well for me. I appreciate this example and live by it; it calms the mind and keeps focus on what provides the best chance for happiness. Thank you.

[@greymatters7284]

Honestly this makes it sound like most bisexual people aren’t very naturally equipped for long term monogamy?

[@notdefining]

Why would that be?

[@sarahkennedy1481]

Of course they are not as they want both delights and easily can just get a taste for someone else

[@destroyertv7974]

I desagree about "It doesn't matter why I'm feeling attractive for Men, now." Because, It can change and maybe, we can have Control about It. As you said, it's like any other feeling. And since we understand why we are feeling that way, we can have at least a little control about It and know how we gonna deal with that. Another example, If we are in a relationship with a girl and we are feeling the by-cicle is starting. Knowing The reason can helps to deal with this relationship.

[@socialistsolidarity]

Mark, you hit the right spots. It's especially true when you talk about sexuality being fluid. Unfortunately, we live in a "heteronormative" world where many people conform to this narrative (which is reinforced every day by the media) and become insecure about exploring their sexuality and identity (which can lead to anxiety and depression). As a result, I have struggled for a long time to label myself as a Bi man since sexuality is fluid, and putting a label on it makes no sense. Nonetheless, I can see why they are important, such as more positive representations of different sexualities, awareness, finding partners, and breaking down heteronormativity. Hopefully, we will get to a point where most people are comfortable with sexuality being fluid and therefore be done with labels. It is still a long way to go, we need more people like Mark to share this kind of information. Thank you for your content.

[@notdefining]

Thank you so much for your kind words. I appreciate you and thanks for watching.

[@socialistsolidarity]

@@notdefining Thank you for replying and please keep up the good content.

[@notdefining]

:)

[@notdefining]

Thank you so much

[@emiliobejel1000]

You have such an insight in sexuality that is really admirable. I agree with almost everything you say.

[@zkhmzzkhmz7077]

I can’t thank you enough! I am experiencing this bi cycle for years now and always end up in an identity crisis. I can’t do this anymore, I always feel like I don’t know myself anymore. This helped me a lot to finally start seeing my true self. I now feel like there is hope for me again and hope for this journey of mine coming to a conclusion. Thank YOU🫶🏻

[@notdefining]

Wow thank you for these kind words. I’m so glad. Here for you.

[@summerbreeze9117]

This is my First time hearing about "bi-cycle"

[@notdefining]

I’m glad you have been able to access this info here

[@adithakethmika4635]

Thanks a million for the video! It's indeed relatable to my sexuality. Since childhood, I was always attracted to guys and even fantasized and had crushes on some. In 9th grade I crushed on a guy once and the experience was mesmerizing. But a year later when I confessed he said that he doesn't have feelings for me and he was quite upset about it (cuz sexuality is a point of stigma in our country), we later reconciled and I convinced myself that I won't be pursuing him. A few months later - the beginning of this year - it seems my attraction is drifting towards girls. I still feel romantically towards men, but in the sexual context, I feel more turned on by women. I was confused this whole time and thought I was losing my queer identity, but then I realized after watching this that I could also be experiencing the bi cycle. By now, I identify as queer or bisexual. I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one feeling like this....

[@emiliobejel1000]

The bi cycle is a great way to explain those changes.

[@ivi854]

This was deeply helpful thank you ❤❤

[@notdefining]

You're so welcome!

[@user-qz2xh5bu9v]

Hello, I’m 31 years old man. I’m married to a woman. Been together 12 years. I never had any clue that I might be gay or bi or whatever I am. I must be going through this cycle right now and I’m just so bewildered as to how this can be happening to me at 31 years old. I grew up in a liberal household, I knew much about the gay community and was educated on the subject. I never had any inkling that I would end up being attracted to men. I’ve also read research that bisexuality doesn’t exist, so I’m like “could I have been gay this whole time?” And that doesn’t make any sense to me. Because of my age and the fact that I never had any notion whatsoever that I would be sexually attracted to men, I have been thinking exactly what you talk about, that maybe I’m going through a phase. The other thing that is troubling is this thought I have that maybe something made me gay or something like that. As I said, I do not come from an insular conservative restrictive community and in that sense this is why this is so confusing to me. I would not have been stigmatized if I had said I was gay growing up, but during my teenage years, I honest to god never had any sexual attraction or physical attraction to men. The thought that I did something now or something has happened to turn me gay - or bi or whatever - is quite scary. As I said I’m very early in this and have not told anyone about this and I don’t think anyone would have ever suspected me to be bisexual or gay. I feel it’s too early to make any determination, I’m going to keep my mouth shut for the next few weeks and just see if this phase goes away. For now I am happily enjoying alof of gay pornography. Sorry to get graphic but that simply is the truth. But I am certainly not going to try to have any kind of sexual relations with a man. Thank you.

[@notdefining]

What you’re experiencing is very hard but more common than you might think. You can heal from it. You’re not alone.

[@BrentAlley]

I feel the same way, I found I’m going through a bi cycle after a separation from my same sex partner

[@notdefining]

I’m sorry you have to go through this my friend. Rough, isn’t it?

[@Nicole-yx8ms]

Thanks always Mark.. your videos are invaluable!! Xo What is your advice on the bi-cycle whilst being in an exclusive relationship? I'm sure you would guess that "listen to your body" triggers my OCD a bit😅 Thanks again!!

[@notdefining]

Thank you for your kind words. Actually I have a video coming out in the next few days on precisely this topic. Stay tuned and I’ll release it.

[@nanyaverey]

Uhh. I used to talk about a friend who had tons of straight hookups and then the worst possible breakup, and then turned 180o gay, like very very gay, pole dancing and pink clothes... that you know that this probably wouldn't happen for that person if that trauma didn't happen. While of course I was happy for that man to enjoy his new gay life. I feel stupid now for assuming this wasn't always a part of who he was. That he wasn't attracted to men before, or that he must have been a closeted gay and his straight relationships were not meant to be anyway. Which could be true, or not true at all, but your explanation makes much more sense. That sometimes we just want to try something different after we've already tried something. Or we may want to change community. So many more subtle things that just "switching" orientation, driven by natural curiosity.

[@notdefining]

Hey thanks for sharing. I like the way you have thought this through. It could be any of those things or indeed something else. Everyone is different. Thanks for sharing it. I love hearing everyone’s unique experiences.

[@dougsaylor6442]

This took me a really long time to understand in myself. I wasn't in a position in life to talk to anyone about it for many years, so I came out a bit later in life. Great explanation, and thanks for building awareness! ❤

[@JoshuaTylerBerglan]

so I am not alone on this... holy s

[@notdefining]

Absolutely not

[@gordonpi8674]

I was attracted to girls and boys at early age in elementary school, but the attraction to boys grew much greater as the time passed. Now I am attracted 99.99% to men in all the ways. I don’t think the circle will get me back to the starting point.

[@anthonycarbonaro7890]

Makes sense!! 👍

[@TheFelcardon]

I am sorry what I about to say, but that is what is the scariest thing when you have something serious with a bisexual, When you are in love and you do not feel atractive enough to your bisexual person maybe because he/she finds more atractive the other gender... How can we handle it?

[@notdefining]

The problem is not with the bisexual person, it is with you and your insecurities. The best thing to do is to heal from your low self esteem before projecting it onto someone else in a relationship and making them the problem. You can do this in therapy, affirmations or self care. You have to learn to be enough without a partner first, then you won’t get jealous.

[@raf5420]

Oh come on one day he loves you and then not how is that is our problem

[@Chaydex]

So that's what it's called, what a lightbulb moment. For me the attraction between the ends of the binaries tends to fluctuate somewhat, though the attraction towards non-binary/other category stays mostly static. I personally use bisexual instead of pansexual mostly due to convenience even though I might fall more towards pansexual since to me in the end it doesn't matter how you identify attraction wise since the person matters more to me. But like aesthetics wise it fluctuates quite a lot. Like when I was with my ex boyfriend (I'm genderfluid guy btw) I felt way more attraction towards guys in general, and wise versa with my ex gf after him. Currently I've been single for about 5 years now so at the moment the whole attraction cycle goes all out of wack, like it shifts way too fast for comfort

[@notdefining]

Thank you so much for sharing. I am honoured to have this beautiful experience reflected on my page.

[@carlorizzo827]

ThankU That's droll. I'm constantly cycling away from whoever. I fall in love, I feel lust, but then, the sense of danger overwhelms. Ugh pathology Family of origin was dangerous. Both parents and older sister were violent, but each had a different style. The females were physically violent, father was emotionally, but he never touched me. Being a doctor, i imagine he saved his hands for healing. Men seem slightly less dangerous. The part of me that likes women is old-fashioned. There is One, no one in this universe for me like her. We were more than lovers. Also dancers together. With men i seem to need variety My father apologized, humbled himself, became a great friend. As did my mother

[@users1992]

I shift a lot throughout the day... it's very disconcerting. I feel like I have no power over which side of the spectrum I am at on any given moment of the day. This makes dating tricky, because I cannot seem to be stable enough to keep 1 attraction for a long period of time, so the other person will witness me changing sides while trying to flirt. It sucks to have to explain myself all the time. Regarding guys, when I am on the receiving end then my impulse would be to be the one that gives, which means I always seek to express the opposite of what I have just expressed. Are any of these points relatable to you? Would be interested to know. Cheers

[@notdefining]

Absolutely. Yes. I have experienced this. It’s almost like it’s so fluid it can change in an instant. Then we worry that we can’t be with anyone. Right?

[@dave7908]

Im so glad that Im not alone and that Im not losing plot😁

[@raf5420]

I'm sorry but that bi-cycle situation is way worse than I expected it to be, I thought that some bi guys cheat on their partners just cause they're cheaters and not all bi men like that, BUT now you telling me that because of that bi-cycle, they might feel attraction and love me one today, then next day they're just unable to do that cause their sexual and romantic attraction switched to another gender (maybe even for years) and he basically just doesn't love me anymore and doesn't feel any sexual attraction towards me anymore. And only god knows when his bi-cycle will switch back for him to love me again (I thought bi guys are attracted to both genders simultaneously, not like switching straight to gay all the time) how am i supposed to know when he will love me and when not ???

[@drick2480]

Going through a bi-cycle is never an excuse to cheat. Yes it can be disruptive to a relationship and introduce issues but its nothing some honest communication cant resolve. I think its a major issue dating a bi person when the bi person isnt aware of the bi-cycle phenomenon and what it means, so they may get confused or spooked when it happens and then make rash decisions. Bi-cycle doesnt mean you lose all attraction to a particular gender, it just means you are more attracted to another for a period of time. You can still maintain a relationship and love that person when going through it, but i understand it cant be easy on a monosexual partner who may not understand fluidity.

[@lajindigo]

OHH THIS MAKES SENSE

[@notdefining]

Hey thanks I’m so glad.

[@josephdickson5733]

There are times where I do experience it from time to time and there is a time frame in the bi cycle for me ware I feel feelings for both men and women at the same time. Is this normal ?

[@AvalonConnections]

Yes I experience this

[@lalokullo]

Great explanation. Are you a certified therapist?

[@notdefining]

I am a certified mental health coach.

[@lukehubbard4915]

How do I tell my girlfriend that this is what’s going on with me

[@notdefining]

Take your time. Know that you don’t have to feel pressure. Speak to friends first. Test out what you want to say. Write it down and practise it. Have articles or videos ready to show her so she can understand more in her own time. Give yourself extra love during this time because it’s hard. Don’t beat yourself up. Explain clearly what it means for you (aka it’s not going to mean anything for your relationship/you’re not intending to get with guys etc. or if you are be clear about this), tell her you love her and reassure her, give her time, understand that she made need time to understand, build it up before hand by asking her what she thinks of bi people or whether she has ever experienced it herself, see her reaction, be ready for her to react badly but also don’t assume - she may be absolutely great and supportive, tell her what it means to you and that you want to tell her because you love her and want her to know you more, listen to her, listen more, listen some more some more, take a good moment, not when stressed, come join me at Patreon.com/notdefining for 24/7 text support or notdefining.square.site for a specialised coaching session and we work out a plan face to face. Good luck. You’re doing great. Proud of you.

[@raf5420]

So if I(male) have been with bisexual partner for 3 years, and there's a chance that tomorrow he will switch more towards women for few years, and he will not love or be interested in me anymore? Is that what it mean ?

[@notdefining]

Technically but this is no more likely than if you had a non-bisexual partner and they suddenly fell for someone with a different body type or hair colour to you, then suddenly left you. There is always a possibility of this of course but it is not likely.

[@danieldale7320]

What am I if I'm only attracted to people who just think I'm a drop dead gorgeous Rockstar, which I'm not

[@idris_catss]

This shit hurts my brain so much. Just want to be set to one u know

[@Manny00779]

I'm bicycle

[@alexarias4378]

Is it normal to have a cycle like this 17-21 gay, 21 straight 22-25 gay, 26-28straight 29 gay, 30 0 almost ace???

[@notdefining]

Yes absolutely.

[@raf5420]

And how am I supposed to date a bisexual man, when there's a chance that he will not be attracted to me for 3 years ?

[@Liamrunsnstuff21]

Why would someone have sexual attraction towards someone but not romantic? I feel like I would only have sex with someone if I’m romantically attracted to them

[@notdefining]

That’s just the way some people are. Other people are like yourself. There’s a lot of variety.

[@elizabethking8373]

I’m the opposite. I can have romantic attraction to more than one gender, but only experience same sex sexual attraction. It’s a mix of low attraction to men’s figures, and genital aversion. Other women don’t enjoy relationship dynamics with men, but they might sleep with them. It’s called SAM - split attraction model. Biromantic homosexual and homo romantic bisexuality or hetero romantic bisexuality.

[@blueroseangel8002]

I grew up in a fundamental baptist church and school all I can say it was a living nightmare. It was like living in the 1950s when its the 21st century. I'm very bi leaning heavily toward the gay side of my attraction. I was not straight passing most of the time I was seen as a lesbian. You can only imagine the ridicule and shame I experienced being in that environment. Anyway one of my close friends back then said I was very bi. I wish I would of listened to him I've experienced years of confusion and anxiety over not being strictly one way like everybody else. The hypocrisy of my mom who is bisexual herself never telling her daughter she was okay and that I didn't have to be 100% straight like the church wanted me to be. All I can say is I hope it gets better for me.

[@notdefining]

Thank you for sharing. You have been through so much but you’re not alone.

[@G.A.R.144]

Being bi sexual is like being an explorer into the unknown, each day can be interesting...

[@rickysaidi513]

can help me

[@notdefining]

Hey I’m here. What’s up?

[@rickysaidi513]

@@notdefining private plaese

[@notdefining]

@@rickysaidi513 Hey, I provide private written chat on patreon.com/notdefining. I would be delighted to see you on there and hear what's been going on for you. I also provide 1:1 coaching sessions online via notdefining.square.site. Alternatively, I am more than happy to chat on here in the messages and I will always try my best to reply. Sending much love, Mark x

[@DaRyteJuan]

It’s all fun and games until you go to the doctor and they start trying attribute anything they can’t figure out as you having caught something and sharing every nasty thing you’ve ever done with the entire teaching university. If you do one thing that isn’t heteronormative, you’re a fringe actor.

[@notdefining]

This doctor seems untrustworthy

[@DaRyteJuan]

@@notdefining Well, I am exaggerating a little. But basically without knocking on the front door of my sexuality, he just barged in and tried to see what he could find there. 🚪 🍆 _ ]“Please knock first, doctor. I only just met you and I only just transferred into this teaching university. Don’t go stealing the lampshades and taking pictures of what’s in the room. You need to gain my permission to enter.”_ I’m like, _”Whoa, whoa, whoa. What’re you looking for? Do you just need to know my HIV/STI status? If that’s the case, then let’s get that checked. Don’t try to take nude pictures of me”_ (I.e. sexual practices and who with and how long ago - years and years into ancient history).

[@vicheakeng6894]

OK[(1]

[@sarahkennedy1481]

It is unfair on a heterosexual woman as one never knows if the man is playing away with another man and if unprotected sex dire. I personally think bi should only date bi for fairness.

[@notdefining]

You are misinformed and unholding false beliefs that ruin peoples marriages and lives. It is scientifically proven that heterosexual identifying men are more likely to be untruthful or confused about their sexuality than bisexual men (source: Consult the peer reviewed leading research of Dr Lisa M Diamond on Sexual Fluidity). It is also statistically proven that heterosexual men are more likely to cheat on women than bisexual men. So you are wrong. Plain wrong. Please don’t come on here with inaccurate, damaging nonsense. Thanks.

[@raf5420]

​@@notdefiningOh come she is right, what if her partner's bi-cycle will switch romantically and sexually to men for few years, basically he will not have romantic feelings for her because of his bi-cycle, and how in that case they supposed to hold marriage together, even some of the bi guys they might never find a partner for life because that bi-cycle