What Lie Were You Led to Believe Until Growing Up?

[@anniebananie7441]

When I was like 7, I was super chubby. I asked my grandpa for a snack and he told me "if you press your stomach and it jiggles that means you've eaten enough for the day." I believed him and didn't have a snack that night. The next day, I asked my grandma if I could have a snack, but I remember what my grandpa said and I said "oh hold on." I lifted my shirt a bit, pressed my stomach and saw it jiggle. "Oh never mind, I've eaten enough for the day." My grandma looked so concerned and asked my grandpa what was going on. She was not happy, but he was laughing the whole time.

[@thorthegodofthunder9150]

Of course she wasn't happy. She's the GRANDMA after all.

[@bland9876]

And that's why you are now anorexic

[@normalhuman9878]

Of course grandma isn’t happy about you wanting to eat! She’s your *grandma*

[@sach1460]

Ana Norman _and that’s how I accidentally got anorexia_

[@jerryqueer]

BIGGEST y i k e s

[@SakuraStardust]

That touching yourself too much will make you go blind. I overheard my mom say that to my older male cousin when I was 5, and I was terrified of going blind for a super long time because I thought 'touching yourself' referred to literally touching anywhere on your body.

[@heroinehei]

Wish my mum would tell my brother that

[@Lysergic_]

@@heroinehei oh

[@Manmanbatman]

My dad farted in the car and blamed it on pollution

[@versusfour2968]

Well......

[@JustinAmador]

💀💀💀

[@gen.not.clickbait]

"That darn pollution, making the car stink again"

[@lShadow426l]

He's not wrong, he just never said w̶h̶o̶ where the pollution was coming from

[@eagerinspirit]

this is actually hilarious

[@jaschabull2365]

That last one sounds less like a lie and more like the mum didn't have much faith in her kid.

[@Tarv1]

Ive been there to be fair I was and still am a bit clumsily natured to be using sharp tools and such, to this day my handy skill suck but slowly working on that

[@magicaleevee843]

That Jonny Bravo one. Ouch, that hurt me on a spiritual level. Like... you don't just murder an amazing child memory like that. That's brutal.

[@aralornwolf3140]

Furthermore, there was no reason to tell the truth. Let him believe it, the lie doesn't hurt anyone. Especially since he treasured that memory for years afterwards. It was one of his best memories... talking to his idol (of sorts).

[@Killjoyreign]

He can still do the Monkey if he could muster the strength. That would cheer most Johnny Bravo fans, especially from HORRIBLE crash and burns from asking girls out with the techniques they learned.

[@smileymctrashbag]

I felt the same way. If I thought, for years, that I had talked to someone who was super important to me, don't take that away. Even if it was a lie.

[@TheGuardDuck]

I just hope he understood that Johnny Bravo wasn't real and later believed he was talking to his voice actor. It'd still suck to know it was your lying idiot dad, but, come on, you can't REALLY talk to a cartoon.

[@gabrielboorom9778]

Cool dad. Mine just beat me a lot.

[@hatti...]

"Ice cream truck music means they are out of ice cream" *evil* *just CRUEL*

[@Nouta1]

My parents tried this. I didn't fall for it just cuz I thought it made no sense to drive around letting everyone know they're out. I thought of ambulances using a siren to let us know they didn't have a sick person inside, or a fire truck using a siren to let us know there's no fire, or a cop letting us know it's ok there's no crime right now. 😂

[@ryanlevis7532]

"WE'RE OUT OF ICE CREAM GET THE JUMPER OUT OF MY WAY"!!!!!

[@preetyw3554]

ikr

[@rubywaller2073]

Stephen Flesch my dad did this to me and I only realised that it was a lie when I was 14

[@normalhuman9878]

I grew up in a rural area so I believed ice cream trucks were made up for tv

[@jmoz9305]

I believed my dad was in Vietnam with Rambo and he was going to come to thanksgiving one year but got called on a mission. It helped my dad's story cuz he had triple bypass open heart surgery so he has a gnarly scar on his chest, he said he got it being tortured in interrogation

[@jjgarcia156]

Your dad is a badass

[@TheRobinSystem]

JJ García you beat me to it

[@michaelfapgod4598]

"I had surgery" VS "I waa captured and tortured in Vietnam" at least for me I'd be more scared and worried about the Vietnam one

[@smileydog5941]

Stolen valor!! REEEEEEE

[@TheGuardDuck]

Totally badass!

[@efraimsantana918]

4:04 actually, you do tighten a bolt if its rusty or too dirty, as it helps loosen the debris.

[@925263]

Loosening does that, too....

[@bland9876]

There have been some times when I will try to open something and I can't get it to twist any further and for some reason twisting it the other way back up well then allow me to open it

[@BMikeAD]

@@925263 it does but sometimes it won't loosen... Tighten it a bit to break the rust free and then loosen. Extremely useful for seized up pipe threads and larger fasteners.

[@peterw4910]

That school would prepare me for life.

[@coows]

@Galaxi I want to be a squirrel

[@r011ing_thunder6]

30G I want to be a MAN

[@kenjen9861]

@@coows i want to become the Ultimate Lifeform so that my HAND could be a squirrel

[@pkkingcrimsonrequiem1332]

@@kenjen9861 *IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING JOJ.....* whatever..., you already know what my next line is..

[@bintavi7034]

@@kenjen9861 Got to credit JoJo's for being the only show that could make me go YAY! THE NAZIS ARE HERE! :D

[@wolfie2777]

i found out that santa wasn’t real a day after my father died which was at december 25th. I remembered my mom scrambling and talking to someone on the phone while we’re walking in the mall, saying “i don’t know what to get for the kids’ christmas gift. it’s always been Richard (my dad’s name) who bought them.” I was five years old and it clicked to me that all these time that it was my dad that had bought all the gifts and put them under the christmas tree the night before christmas. it shattered my world instantly. the following years, i would secretly hold on to his picture and go into another room to cry so my mother wont know.

[@aaliauzma7428]

This breaks my heart for you.

[@loravipperman3061]

I'm so sorry 😢 I'm sending you a great big hug!!!!!!😊😊😊😊

[@IchHassePasswoerter]

Well, to be fair, Santa Claus *is* real. Or rather, was. Saint Nick was an actual person.

[@uniqueplayz7979]

@@IchHassePasswoerter ughhhh no tf he wasn't I swear one of my classmates told me he was real last week.

[@Lysergic_]

@@uniqueplayz7979 he was real, but not in the way you know.

[@rydo728]

That I’d be a useful member of society one day

[@ZX7.8027Paradigm]

*_lmao yeah_*

[@therightway15]

r/suicidebywords

[@TwistedFireX]

Saaame

[@ZX7.8027Paradigm]

DarealMVP 24 *nice*

[@markusseiler2693]

You make actual useful members of society feel better about themselves...

[@J4hk2]

Come on now, moths are clearly butterfly zombies.

[@WasabiKitCat]

I've always thought it was a dick move for parents to not tell their kids when their pets died. We've had a lot of cats, and most of them were pretty old by the time I was born, so it wasn't long until one of them died while I was alive. My parents just told me that they had died, and they'd get them cremated. We have a pretty stone box we keep the ashes of all our cats in. I also had two pet mice for a very short period of time, but first one escaped and then the other died. We never actually found the one that escaped, but our cats probably ate it. When the other one died, we dug a hole outside and buried it. That's my earliest memory of pet death, and my parents have always been honest with me about it. I think it's kind of cowardly and disrespectful to lie about a pet dying, and especially trying to replace it without telling the kid. Kids are going to have to learn about death at somepoint, and I think a pet dying is a good opportunity to explain death, instead of waiting for a real tragedy like a friend or family member dying. I don't like how some people just throw out what was once a living creature, and can't be bothered to at least tell their kid. That's just my thoughts, though. I dont think it makes someone a bad parent to lie about it, I just think it's a bit scummy.

[@bnb7690]

I agree, this is coming from someone who's been lied to about all of their pets (except my bird); My hamster- I was told that he ran away, but didn't find out until a year ago that he died inside the garage. He "*ran away*" *ten years ago* My first dog- I was led to believe he had jumped over the fence, but in reality he was bit by a poisonous snake. Didn't find out the truth until last year and that was *seven years ago* My turtle- I didn't even know he died until a couple weeks after he did and I watched him for a while and noticed that he wasn't moving in his large tank. This one was actually fairly recent, around ten months or so ago. As for my bird, I let him fly away after helping him get better (his left wing was injured), second/last dog, we had to give him away, and around six months ago my cat ran away. Those I actually know about. Lol

[@TheGuardDuck]

@@bnb7690 ouch.

[@33melonpaws77]

yeah i don't like adults lying to children about deaths and pet deaths either. Let them grieve.

[@fluffybirdy]

Luckily (or not) my mom didn't get a choice because I went downstairs one morning to my pet hamster being literally eaten alive by its mother (we didn't know not to keep them together). I woke mom up screaming and she just flushed both of them down the toilet still (technically) alive.

[@TheGuardDuck]

@@fluffybirdy oh my gosh!!! Eating him alive? Like, a bloody, ripped-open mess??? Imo, good call flushing them. Put the kid down and execute capital punishment on the mom!

[@TheGuardDuck]

The "half house divorced couple" one was hilarious!

[@JupiHornet1]

That one got me good

[@hotwax9376]

@TheGuardDuck Yeah, I'm glad that never happened to me because I probably would've believed it at the time.

[@theamazingpou]

‘this red button in the car makes it explode don’t touch it’

[@mimikyuliker946]

Squidward’s Meatballs *hovers finger over red button with an evil smirk*

[@cybersilver5816]

I always thought that the hazzard light button was a booster. Not my parents fault, but I had myself fooled.

[@TheRobinSystem]

No stupid it makes the doors fall off

[@robbyhenton8038]

Yeah I had that one, me and my sister cried when it started beeping and we where locked in the car after our parents when into the shop.

[@Edamori]

@@cybersilver5816 My Dad actually told me that it was a booster, and he would press it while accelerating. We lived on a heavily forested island, so there was never anyone around to see us doing this, so I never realized that it was actually hazard lights.

[@icedwhitechocolatemochafra9851]

I was bought for 20 dollars. Parents jokingly threatened to refund me and wile my memory and make me a a baby again because i was nagging them and that my prrvious parents rrfunded me aswell. I didnt take it as a joke. I was terrified

[@normalhuman9878]

My mom always said “I’ll have to trade you in for a cheaper model”

[@tmmh]

@@normalhuman9878 thats just a compliment, because it means you have value...

[@tmmh]

@Eric Miret i didn't think about that.

[@shrooms8132]

That life would be fun when I grew up What happened mum??!?

[@Jonathan1002887]

Adulthood is just a phase of systematically destroying your childhood

[@withyoctopus]

Only if you have fond memories of your childhood.

[@brownie814]

that leaving the car window open whilst the ac was on would freeze the whole island. yes an island, in the Carribean, that's very near the equator.

[@salmonpancakes7008]

*very near*

[@chronenojysk5107]

I’ve never heard this lie through my parents. I was always told honestly that the AC will loose cool if I keep the windows open.

[@ACZor86]

This video just lead to me researching and finding out that driving with your indoor lights on is NOT illegal. I'm 32 friggin' years old and believed this until literally two minutes ago. WTF Dad? I even get all anxious nowadays when he turns the lights on when I ride with him. I've said more than once, "Dad, you should turn those off before the cops see." And he's NEVER told me any better. Troll Dad is troll, confirmed.

[@loravipperman3061]

Yeah! I'm 35 and just found out! My mom used to tell me that crap all the time! And actually said it a couple of weeks ago!!! Wtf?!?!

[@1bontenbon]

ACZor86 I just found out and I'm 26...

[@akashkannoly2859]

OK....SHIT...just found out its Legal😂

[@theGizmo100]

The reason people often say that is because it can obscure the drivers view

[@canoshizrocks]

@@theGizmo100 Why not just say it will obscure the driver's view?

[@Nouta1]

*...WAIT! you can't just move on from "we were eating dirty diapers for years" like that.* 😨

[@valerdi8260]

If i tried hard enough, money wouldn't matter. *cough that college scandal * cough

[@cece5502]

Hiromi That shade tho

[@gabrielboorom9778]

Ouch.

[@katrinal353]

@Todd Foret Nope. Where I'm from, about less than 20% of the people with an MSc in CSE, get to the point of having a good job. If you don't like something, it doesn't matter how "hard" you tried to pass exams, you're going to suck at it and you'll never want to actually do it at the level required for "money to not matter" anymore.

[@jhfdhgvnbjm75]

@Todd Foret I got a degree in architecture, no jobs...

[@spindash64]

Katrina L So, what do I do if I don’t like anything?

[@MR-hm7rg]

6:13 Wait, what? I FEEL SO BETRAYED this sounds logical! But no wonder it wasn't part of the drivers test 🤭😂

[@SasukeUchiha-dk4nn]

M R I’m still shook about that one... I’m about to turn 16 to get my permit

[@toastxo]

*_A lie was that gum sticks to your stomach if you swallow it_*

[@markusseiler2693]

I tested it as a kid, blue poop looks weird...

[@adamdodda3275]

I was told it would wrap around my heart

[@markusseiler2693]

@@adamdodda3275 nope, just comes out like most things we can't digest.

[@conneely2012]

I still don't swallow chewing for this reason

[@mgc9965]

I was told it'll get stuck in your throat and you'll choke....

[@keithtacket4495]

My dad used to tell me that the first bite of a Slim Jim was poison. He had to have the first bite to make it "safe ".

[@zachfreeman2502]

That's just a dad tax.

[@spindash64]

Zach Freeman That’s what my dad always called it, though it’s more of a running joke in our house. Especially since it being annoying just makes the “tax” part more fitting

[@zwergz1122]

That the subscription has been cancelled and you will no longer be charged

[@echadwick3916]

My dad tried to convince me that he was the lead singer of Green Day.

[@Nouta1]

My dad didn't tell me the songs he played on his guitar and had me singing was led zepplin songs...My parents also let me figure out what radio was on my own and I didn't know till I was 11...one night I called him when I was 13 in a panic cuz I thought some band stole his songs. *facepalm.jpg*

[@themilkssiah]

My dad convinced me he was the background singer who sang “turn around” in total eclipse of the heart. I mean it’s oddly specific but I had no reason to doubt him.

[@Unfazed1888]

"I'm not sleep, I just have my eyes closed."

[@lumas825]

"I was just resting my eyes..." Minutes later: Doesn't respond to someone talking to them and is almost snoring.

[@abrahamblackmore3115]

"The red triangle button makes all the doors fall off" "it's illegal to drive with the lights on"

[@bespectacledbadger2155]

Despite me being a girl I have abnormally long arm hair and when I was six my sister told me it was bc I was slowly turning into a werewolf. Edit: ARM. HAIR. Not armpit hair, just the hair on my forearms.

[@Gabriel-ip6me]

I did the exact same thing to my sister. I think it's a universal prank.

[@harleybynature]

Omg I did the same to mine

[@marcomartins3563]

You had armpit hair when 6?

[@Gabriel-ip6me]

@@marcomartins3563 I think she's referring to the hair that grows on the forearms, dude. 🤦🏼

[@BattleCarrot]

A six year old with armpit hair is a very uncomfortable image.

[@lostsouls4144]

That my brother in law went to Brazil. He was in jail.

[@razor3106]

That if I did well in school I could get a good job when I grew up.

[@Epoqua]

Wait this is a lie?

[@razor3106]

@@Epoqua It can be depending on where you live. I live out in the country, and $13/hr is considered one of the best paying non-government jobs you can get out here.

[@0xsergy]

@@sirsnarl7154 yeah in what field though? That's the key point

[@0xsergy]

@@razor3106 if there's no work there's no work. Gotta live closer to cities for more opportunities

[@razor3106]

@@0xsergy Where I live, the major city is a run down old paper mill town. You actually have to get away from the major city to get the better jobs.

[@justkeepyappin]

5:34 Wtf? When you're 15 and you have no idea what green beans are lmao

[@xatzpskl]

Yeah..like wtf did he/she live in a bubble for 15 years?

[@forwardslash6750]

I was told hotdogs were made from penguin meat

[@deliveryman1970]

Thats terrible

[@robbyhenton8038]

Racoon, penguin, squirall liver. What's the difference?

[@magiceightball1442]

All sound delisous

[@urafaget5202]

Now this is amusing

[@Isabeltherat]

i was told that paper was made from dolphin blood (my big brother to me so i would stop eating paper lmao)

[@kyleom6276]

Wait... *TURNING THE INDOOR LIGHT IN A CAR ISNT ILLEGAL!?!?!?*

[@nishajohn7847]

It is where I live in England, and many other countries

[@PinkishToon]

It also isn't in some states

[@Lichen8404]

"If you tell the truth I won't get mad I promise" Also "if you eat before you swim under water you'll get the Bendz and your organs will pop" Edit: oHMYGODTHELIKESTHANKYOU

[@twitchingsparrow282]

Yo, they just told me I'd cramp up and drown, never that my organs would pop lol

[@Lichen8404]

Lmao I had weird parents who said my stomach would pop like a balloon :')

[@jaschabull2365]

I'm pretty sure that second one is genuinely believed by several grown ups.

[@noahthamban379]

That Apple made powerful and worth products.

[@seabassjames8222]

To be fair, my three younger brothers have shared an iPad for about 5 years without it breaking. It has a noticeable crack in the screen, but it still plays games perfectly fine without affecting the picture.

[@normalhuman9878]

Wow I wouldn’t think any electronic would last through young boys

[@razorreptile]

Mangle girl he didn’t even say young boys

[@superdrummergaming]

To be fair, sometimes tightening a nut or bolt before loosening it will actually help substantially.

[@fish9468]

Nah only with a malformed bolt

[@camerabox1]

@@fish9468 he did say sometimes

[@0xsergy]

Yeah especially with rust.

[@lucky-13gof47]

@@fish9468 I've been a mechanic for over 20 years. This has worked on normal nuts thousands of times. Sometimes a small amount of rust will build up on the exposed part of the bolt making it hard to get off. The unexposed part of the bolt is cleaner making it easier to tighten just a little. Then, you get a sort of running start when you try to back it off.

[@fish9468]

@@lucky-13gof47 I think you've got a habit there. I've done work like that plenty, but tightening a bolt will only make the two surfaces closer, increasing friction, it would make more sense that making them further apart would decrease friction. And why would a mechanic of 20 years play TTT2?

[@EyeDewDie]

A lie most people believe is that their opinion matters.

[@TheCimbrianBull]

I use to believe that in my youth but now as a grumpy middle-aged man I get the sweet pleasure of telling entitled young people fresh out of college that there is no Santa; "nobody cares what you think!"

[@norealname1508]

That you shouldn't question people of any kind. And just be a helpful person.

[@surprise2208]

(Nazi anthem starts playing)

[@norealname1508]

@@surprise2208 they have a theme song?

[@torinsmith9867]

Most people who seem to be in dire straits are trying to screw you over.

[@markusseiler2693]

@@torinsmith9867 you can take out the "who seem to be in dire straits" and it would still be accurate.

[@dbseamz]

That an outlet was called a "no-touch". I completely understand why. And that guy with the rope on the tree was genius.

[@codym5352]

"If you do good things good things will happen to you" Great joke mom

[@shrekonion8307]

ive been nice to people for a long time and im still getting shit returning things + complimenting people + doing whatever my mom tells me + doing good in school + holding doors open = dog dying getting beat up spilling boiling water on my leg wtf how do i win

[@shrekonion8307]

@Eric Miret bruh how the fuck you gonna say it was my fault and remind me of the time i fell down the stairs

[@gothamgymnast4638]

@@shrekonion8307 r/niceguys

[@shrekonion8307]

@@gothamgymnast4638 see thats the point

[@normalhuman9878]

*K* *A* *R* *M* *A*

[@shadow200343]

I was told that "Shut up" was a swear word until I heard it, early one morning, watching Cartoon Network. Took me a couple hours contemplating if the scheduling had messed up before I realized that my Mother just didn't want me saying it.

[@AntifoulAwl]

That America is the land of the free. Ever tried to get a hamburger with no money?

[@kelvinmota123]

Don't you mean OUR hamburger

[@panzerkrieg3509]

Steal one

[@Gabriel-ip6me]

Freedom isn't free

[@kenjen9861]

@@kelvinmota123 We have claimed this hamburger for the Soviet PEOPLE!!

[@yakigesher-zion7289]

Oof

[@AbraCadaveric]

That a loving hamster would become feral like that broke my heart so much, I was actually relieved it had died and just been replaced.

[@nishajohn7847]

That's horrible, you'd rather have a dead hamster than a feral one?!

[@zwergz1122]

That girls didn't fart or poop and were unable to do so

[@lydia6253]

Excuse me, us ladies don't fart. We toot, thank you.

[@TheCimbrianBull]

I like it when my girlfriend farts in my face. She likes it too and laughs every time.

[@mot0rdeth]

TheCimbrianBull um..

[@Starfloofle]

would be nice if that were true at least

[@GogiRegion]

My grandfather once got a call from “the lone ranger” telling him to eat his broccoli. Yep.

[@tvaholicsquidney]

my mum told my siblings that carrots would help them see in the dark, that broccoli was little trees and that crust on bread would make your hair curly, she told me that sprouts was little cabbages as when I was little I loved most fruit and veg except sprouts which I do love now, my siblings on the other hand hated most veg and some fruit, one of my favourite things that my nan would make me is a veg sandwich, she would ask if I wanted something else on it like cheese, ham or beef but I would just ask for veg

[@hershellayton1843]

Wait a minute isn't it illegal to drive with your lights on in the car? Always have been told that it was illegal. My life is a lie.

[@leviussimp5093]

why would it be illegal

[@MrWhiskers]

Same, just found out now 💀💀💀

[@MrWhiskers]

@@leviussimp5093 I never questioned it and thought it was an unspoken rule.

[@whosthere8658]

How old are you now lol. Must know

[@dms2331]

Actually the light can glare a window at night and make it difficult to see but you won't actually be stopped by a cop

[@quangnhat5345]

The biggest lie: "aldulthood is awesome with the freewill to do what ever you want"

[@grahamhaspassedaway4580]

When my brother and I were young, we were in the car when we drove past a road crew who were shovelling up some roadkill. We didn't see much action, just a guy with a shovel bending down whilst a couple of other guys watched. My parents convinced us that they worked for "The Squashed Animal Department", a branch of the government whose job was to drive around with a big truck full of squashed animals, and every now and again they would stop and put some down on the roads. This was the time when the EU had "wine lakes" and "wheat mountains" and "butter mountains" and whatnot, and my folks convinced us there was a "squashed animal mountain" that was a literal mountain-sized pile of squashed animals, and their way of getting rid of them was to spread them round on the roads a few at a time. My brother and I literally believed this for like five years. My parents would tell us about it in complete seriousness, embellishing the story a bit more every now and again. When we finally realised it was all a joke we all laughed our asses off. To this day whenever my brother or I see anything to do with roadkill one of us is sure to mention The Squashed Animal Department.

[@elijahsly]

To be fair, half of these lies were just parents being sarcastic lol

[@lovely.lonely.moon.]

When I was 11 my mom gave me "the talk" she told me that babies come out of women's butts. When I was 13 my grandmother set everything straight, but that still doesn't answer why my mom thought it was a good idea to make me think that you shit out babies.

[@htownsmookie6004]

Real Moon Witch lol dafuc

[@lovely.lonely.moon.]

@@htownsmookie6004 exactly

[@lovely.lonely.moon.]

@@Sluppie Awww that's terrible, yeah I don't know why parents think telling us lies is somehow protecting us more then just telling us the truth. My best friend's mom told her she could get pregnant by giving a blow job so the poor thing made guys wear condoms while she went down on them for like 2 years.

[@chlorine4567]

That you get square eyes from watching too much TV

[@tvaholicsquidney]

My mum told me and my siblings a variation on that, she told us that if we sat too close to the tv we would get square eyes

[@blackbird1234100]

4:02 no, thats not wrong. Sometimes, especially if a bolt is rusty, tightening them just a bit actually makes them easier to loosen

[@Phyrnd]

Cracks a bit of the rust loose to make it easier

[@once.upon.a.time.]

I use superglue a lot at work, and I always leave it unscrewed just a tiny bit so that if the glue dries and sticks to the cap, I can tighten it to easily break the glue and get it open. I think it's the same concept

[@Im_A_Nerd]

agreed, doing the opposite thing to what you were trying to do actually can make it no longer stopped up by rust

[@blackbird1234100]

@@Phyrnd yep

[@Lucy-xw9jw]

Thank you for the black! Much better when watching videos untill 3am

[@AurorasAura4417]

My answer: that love just doesn't work out ever and you'll always be either alone or angry at your s/o

[@midtown3221]

Who else believed that chewing gum stays inside you forever?

[@Bigfoot_With_Internet_Access]

*Just never grow up, then you don't have to find out about all of the lies you were led to believe*

[@deliveryman1970]

*loads pistol*

[@Bigfoot_With_Internet_Access]

@@deliveryman1970 lol I meant like becoming a manchild and living in your mom's basement or something

[@15-86-z8k]

Yea, just don’t get vaccinated

[@cyrenapowell4322]

This video just gave me the realization that I've been lied to about earwigs crawling into my ear. Gosh darn it.

[@normalhuman9878]

I mean why tf are they called earwigs

[@nictarrant794]

That my dad would come back

[@deliveryman1970]

The store was probably just out of milk

[@dms2331]

@@deliveryman1970 yeah he is just still looking for milk.

[@gh0st1e24]

@@dms2331 wheeze

[@deliveryman1970]

Hes looking for skim but they only have whole.

[@bnb7690]

That's darker than dark mode KZbin

[@the_hedgie_reads]

Your children will have to learn about death sooner or later, and they'll probably deal with it BETTER at an EARLIER age if you let them deal with it naturally. Let them learn to grieve. It's almost equivalent to not telling a child he/she was adopted when you don't tell your child that a relative/friend is dying before it's too late. My mom had me when she was 45 (when a doctor tells you that, because you have one ovary, you won't have another kid, don't believe him/her) and I had to deal with people dying from a pretty early age. I was also homeschooled, so most of my "peers" were my parents' friends, many of which also died. My parents didn't shield me from it. They didn't attempt to conceal it. I might have been a bit nervous about death at points, but I learned to have a greater appreciation for life, and to make sure I had positive interactions with people, because you never know if you'll get another chance. I sang at my uncle's funeral last year (didn't know him so well, he was my great aunt's husband). Then my Memaw died, and I was asked to sing at her funeral; I did it. Not only that, I maintained my composure, and I was 16. If you have an especially nervous child, break it gently, but understand they WILL have to deal with it at some point. The older they are when they realize, the more difficult it will be to adjust.

[@arandompasserby7940]

Santa Claus. I'm still angry about that... Mostly because I confronted my parents to tell me the truth and they didn't. So now I have dedicated my life to educating children and save them from embarrassment.

[@NotChicoAndPico]

Agreed, compared to some lies that are useful (See the 2nd one in the video for example), Santa is one of these pointless lies that doesn't do much except embarrass kids later on. Why not just tell your kids that you're getting them presents???

[@Nouta1]

Y'all taking the magic out of being a child cuz you're butthurt over being mildly embarrassed?

[@NotChicoAndPico]

@@Nouta1 What magic? I point is that Santa gives little. My parents had more sense than to tell me that a fat man climbs down our chimney and gives me presents, so I can't really comment on my own experiences, but when talking to anyone, it was extremely rare when there were positive memories related to Santa, and the few that were had more in common with presents than a butchered catholic saint. There are many problems with a Santa Claus existing, and few benefits. (And since it's late at night, and this is a silly argument, I'll let anyone that cares enough about this just do research themselves)

[@arandompasserby7940]

@@Nouta1 I mean, hell, why not also teach them religion so they can feel even more magic during their youth? Then tell them there is no God when they're 12 and you only did it so they would behave. What's wrong with just telling them who actually bought them their present? Do we really have to lie to them that a big, mystical bearded entity snuck into the house, ate the cookies and deposited shit under the tree? With 0 effort, struggle or expense? Parents have to work to earn the shit their kids get and they should be grateful they get anything at all under the tree, much less anything more than pencils or government cheese. That's a far more magical and relatable tale.

[@normalhuman9878]

My dad was thinking about not telling me or my siblings about Santa and my grandma just about disowned him. I realized that a fat man coming through my door (don’t have a chimney) and giving me presents didn’t sound right, but I tried to keep that magic alive for my siblings

[@notleoso]

My Dad made me believe at night we can’t turn on the inside car lights when driving, since only robbers use the light to look at what they stole, and if we put it on cops would think we were robbers

[@nicolas753]

Turning the lights on inside the car will get you pulled over

[@SharpMaxwell]

i used to think it was illegal to eat turkey when it wasnt Thanks giving i just thought this no one told me this

[@dms2331]

Lol

[@fabioribeiro4627]

Poor turkey farmers in that universe.

[@Nouta1]

Lucky turkeys in that universe.

[@sidney9796]

ma told me that if i didn't wash my hands good enough, my fingernails would fall off props for effectiveness but that was terrifying

[@StrangeLittleGarden]

i could do anything i put my mind too... no. I always knew that was a lie

[@therealiateyopie7997]

To the guy who’s grandma passed, it would be a shock either way. I knew my grandpa was sick and had been for years but thought he was like super man and he would never leave me. It was a extremely painful shock when my dad got the call saying he was gone. I knew he was sick but that didn’t change the fact that it hurt so much when my dad told me he was gone. It’s been almost five or six years and it still hurts to think that I won’t see him again. I really miss him.

[@jinxpoop]

my papa (grandpa) told me that if you ever get chemicals in your eye, you need an eye wash. he told me an eye wash was taking out your eyes and putting them in the dishwasher

[@zaffyrone]

That's brutal.

[@thealmightycastform9380]

Yikes. What if you actually tried doing that?

[@jinxpoop]

Eric Miret to answer everyone's curiosity, no, I never tried removing my own eyeballs and putting them in the dishwasher. LOL. but I did wonder about it a ton, and yes, it did cause me to be very safe around chemicals and sprays because I didn't want to have to remove my eyes and wash them in the dishwasher 🤣

[@normalhuman9878]

Wait does getting shampoo in your hair count?

[@stressed_out_lettuce646]

That you should always, *ALWAYS* , Do what the grown-ups tell you.

[@dms2331]

Yes listen to the strange man asking you to get into his van

[@thorthegodofthunder9150]

@@TheCimbrianBull Or clowns asking if you want you paper boat back.

[@dryest-bones]

the government wants to know your location

[@oryon6662]

Virgo _Lettuce grown-ups are the smartest, the best and are authority how dare you say its a lie young man

[@thorthegodofthunder9150]

@@oryon6662 Read the first reply.

[@salt8889]

4:43 as a gypsy, can confirm this is actually true

[@imadkassar3600]

Let’s be real here, if a kid believes in Santa after like 12 they would get bullied so much, it’s probably better to tell them earlier to avoid that embarrassment. Reality is depressing😢

[@doraeguyakaneddie6586]

The best age to tell them is 2

[@jfan4reva]

"The Polar Express" probably wasn't helping the situation.

[@dorabora2936]

Galaxi yeah I was a bit later, I’d guess Maybe 8? But I was just like you really, no shock, no disappointment, just common sense

[@WasabiKitCat]

I believed in Santa until I was about 9 or 10. I remember asking my mom "why are there people starving in other countries if Santa could just bring them food for Christmas?" And at that point she just decided I was old enough to know Santa wasn't real. I had to keep it a secret from my little sister, though, which was kinda fun.

[@atticus2581]

figured out the tooth fairy wasnt real when I was 6. I dont remember the conversation but apparently I sat my mom down and asked her if santa didnt exist either. I figured if one didnt the other probably didnt. @Galaxi

[@Cervando]

I was told my pet rabbit escaped. Turns out it was the casserole we had the day after. Mother told me years later and said it was a kindness as it was cruel to keep a rabbit outside in a well insulated rabbit hutch in the winter, but feeding it to me wasn't...

[@askredditor8869]

That going outside would cure my depression

[@SRWolfderg]

Honestly, I felt that Santa story in my soul, since I had a similar situation, except I found out a year or two later at 14 or 15. Reason I believed so long was because there was at least two or three years where on Christmas Eve my grandparents (who I've lived with all my life)/great grandparents had somebody, who I assume was either one of my aunts or my mother, on the other end of a phone call pretending to be Mrs. Claus, and saying things like "Oh yes, Santa is already on his way, so make sure you get to bed early.", and even giving an approximate time as to when he'd arrive and stuff, all the while with Christmas music in the background with others pretending to be elves singing along to the music.

[@DrFlug-gk7fz]

When i was like 10 years old, my grandma were constantly telling me about a guy who kidnapped boys if they misbehaved, and i believed it because there was a pretty dirty homeless guy who kept going by the house with a real big bag (he had to gather cans and other stuff to sell em and have something to eat, poor man).

[@thorthegodofthunder9150]

You probably thought he carries boys in that bag and does stuff with them when he gets home...

[@eye_of_pluto]

My grandma told me our family was descended from a royal bastard of a dead English monarch. I believed her for a lot longer than I'd like to admit.

[@JPHWLN]

My mom told me yogurt was ice cream and let’s just say I was pretty mad when I went over to my friends house and he gave me ice cream

[@TheGuardDuck]

Ooooo... That's a cheapskate mom right there.

[@JPHWLN]

TheGuardDuck she did it because she said she didn’t want us to be fat like the other kids at school. At the time I moved from America to Mexico and moved back 3 years after lol.

[@TheGuardDuck]

@@JPHWLN lol. Ice cream doesn't make you fat; eating stupid large amounts of it makes you fat! It's just milk with sweet flavoring.

[@teehundeart]

@@TheGuardDuck ...with obscene amounts of sugar

[@DezhdaBear]

Everytime I asked my mom how people died, she just said,"Oh, they forgot to breath." I actually believed her for a long period of time...

[@Starmadien2019]

That parents will always love you. No matter what

[@albanovkonrad]

One day in 4th grade my teacher caught me daydreaming and told me he could read minds and would tell the rest of the class what I was thinking if I didn't pay attention. I spent the rest of that year very paranoid while in class. It took me a couple years to realize he was bullshitting; even after I graduated from his class, I would still get nervous around him whenever I passed him in school

[@aggieman4363]

I like how you do the dark theme but I think you should make the transition a little easier on the eyes. The flash is such an eyesore when im used to the dark.

[@joelmole3157]

In my case, so many things but one notable one was that my mum told me that those who share the same name as a recent hurricane have to pay a small fine for the resulting damages. I didn't find out it was a fib until my first year of uni. Thank goodness there wasn't a hurricane Joel!

[@dascientist8443]

Night mode is right mode!

[@imjustapancake3188]

Da Scientist I like it much better tbh

[@flibbernodgets7018]

That last one is especially inspiring, since home repair has always seemed like arcane and unreachable knowledge to me

[@teehundeart]

It's doable. My dad does all home repairs by himself. Even if you make mistakes it will propably be way cheaper than having someone fix it for you for a ludicrous price.

[@crpineo]

Damn it, I wish that last one had the mom give an actual reason for doing that

[@nrsimmons178]

Just sounds like she was projecting her insecurities onto her son, or maybe his dad wasn't handy and she thought her son would be the same way. No matter the reason, she was wrong to limit him. Glad he believed enough in himself to prove her wrong!

[@crpineo]

@@nrsimmons178 true enough on that last point

[@LaXnlah]

"Sometimes you have to tighten 'em up a little before you can, loosen 'em" Yes.

[@Cantbebotheredbyyouanymore]

That becoming an adult is fun.

[@normalhuman9878]

My parents just told me it sucks and to stay a kid as long as possible

[@vickijean3678]

6:12 My dad said: Turn off the lights! You'll get me arrested! Me: But I dropped something, it will only be a minute! Dad: I don't care! turn it off I don't want a ticket. Me: Why? The lights make it able for them to see you're not wearing a seatbelt? He didn't respond and i turned the light off after I grabbed my stuffed animal. ((I was in a long car trip))

[@lightbulb7267]

I believed that my life would be stable

[@bnb7690]

Light Bulb your pfp is my reaction to this joke..

[@wavesofcreation]

I also believed that chewing gum will stay in you for ever.. when I'd swallow it by mistake I'd be terrified, imagining it building up time after time and that I'll soon die. I'm pretty sure I was younger than 5/6, and still remember.

[@ZoomKrazyy]

When I was in grade 1 my teacher told me Michael Jackson died because he stepped on a nail and fell down some stairs. I believed that for 3 years 😔

[@theonlycatonice]

7:44 I understand the disappointment but... your dad pretended to be Johnny Bravo for you... 10/10 dad

[@marinary1326]

Lesson: Whenever possible, don't lie to your kids. Seriously, they're way more capable of handling stuff than you'd think a lot of the time, and eventually they're going to have to unlearn that lie anyways.

[@RtistiqSkubie]

I endorse both of your statements.

[@marinary1326]

@Semicolon my older brother ghostwrote this lmao

[@Nouta1]

"Always lie to your kids Cuz it'll make them laugh about it in the future when they finally get the joke " is what I observed.

[@cardinal8200]

The “as a kid there was this cartoon called Johnny Bravo” makes me feel old cause it’s worded like there are people reading it who don’t know who Johnny bravo is

[@oryon6662]

Cardinal omg nostalgia of the 14 year old blah bla bla if u arent under 10 u must of heard of johny bravo

[@Krebzonide]

I don't think I ever believed in santa because my parents just said the presents were from them.

[@marisatheuglybitch8584]

My parents always told me to thank my aunts and uncles for the gift (after "santa" would hand it out). I still dont know why i was so devastated when me brother told he wasnt real.

[@markwtal9453]

My sister's, our mother and me pranked my nephew so much when he was little, he stopped believing bs since he was 8. You can't mess with him at all now as he is 11 years old. Well done of us!

[@wherewolves7741]

My dad told me the Spinosaurus was just made-up for Jurassic park.

[@spindash64]

Where Wolves? Well, technically it is guesswork is the funny thing, since the only well preserved skeleton of it was destroyed during WWII, when the museum it was in was destroyed by a bombing run

[@sprightlyspice7696]

6:11 OKAY WAIT WAIT I'm *15* and omg it's not illegal??? My mom has been telling me this so she won't get distracted?? I USED TO GET TERRIFIED THAT IF I HAD IT ON OTHER CARS WOULD CRASH AND THE COPS WOULD ARREST MY MOM

[@witheredhouseplant]

Whenever My mom always threatened to call this imaginary babysitter. We never even had a babysitter idek