What's the deal with GLINTSTONE?

This is an Elden Ring lore video about Raya Lucaria Academy, Sorceress Sellen and Glintstone.
It also could be called a meme video.
I guess.
00:00 Intro
00:23 Raya Lucaria Academy
00:54 Lower Raya Lucaria Academy
01:38 Cuckoo Knights, Caria Manor and the Carian Knights
03:00 Volcano Manor, Omenkillers and Albinaurics
05:14 Upper Raya Lucaria and the various Conspectus
07:05 Sorceress Sellen and Master Azur
07:53 Master Lusat
09:34 Sellen, Seluvis and Jerren
10:49 Sellen vs Jerren
12:38 What is the deal with Glintstone?
14:00 Thops and the secret of incantations
16:23 Thops' last secret

[@DarkTark]

Thops is the thinking man's Sellen.

[@nicolasuran865]

yo

[@doerf]

the backround music man i cant take it

[@ohiyoresident]

Thops spent everything on the glintstone and now he has nothing, don’t do magic rocks kids

[@ozenthelewdable5427]

Why would you say something so controversial yet so Chad?

[@russian_knight]

If you make an Alexander video I will be very happy darkus tarkus

[@johnnylaw8168]

My cousin said “it’s just a little glintstone. You can’t even get addicted to it”. Now he’s living under a bridge and harassing passers by.. Don’t do glintstone kids.

[@Kuroganekisaki]

My uncle used to do glintstone. "Just recreational, man." he said. "Helps take the edge off after a long day", he said. Now he just stares at nothing and gives passersby insanely strong spells... GLINTSTONE: NOT EVEN ONCE

[@JEREMAIAHJONES]

My friends used to think glintstone was cool... now they spam stars of ruin in pvp... dont do glintstone kids

[@iinunez96]

I can quit glinstone, & pillaging corpses for glintstone funds whenever I want

[@rockpaper5578]

@@iinunez96 thats what they all say....

[@josedorsaith5261]

Does he snatch sheep passing by on the bridge and demand travellers answer his riddles to pass?

[@huxleyleigh4856]

Sellen last words after being turned into a ball: "My apprentice... I'm.... Ballin 🏀"

[@HIKI_BAKARI]

483 likes and no reply Damn

[@dismaldice3045]

lol

[@ironic4910]

😂😂😂😂damn it That was good

[@Kurotama11]

Ball has been life for centuries….but what happens when life finally becomes ball??

[@mememan2987]

This is canon. Its in the lore.

[@mallow2902]

Glintstone is basically just the crystals that the miners and rock monsters were fighting over in the Lego Power Miners sets.

[@mallow2902]

Or Rock Raiders for you OG Lego enjoyers.

[@-Aniki-]

@@mallow2902 I haven't heard that name in a long time

[@sandorrclegane2307]

Ohjmyfuckinhgod somebody said Lego Power Miners Holy shit

[@yeetman1344]

damn i miss that set

[@yeetman1344]

@@-Aniki- ye the SpitBrix video caused me to have a wave of nostalgia

[@user-ot7gb6gw5q]

my theory is that Azur and Lusat were expeled from the academy for bragging about how they oneshot every enemy with comet azur and spamming stars of ruins in duels

[@TheSoldierOfGodrick]

The reason they can only move their hands is because the only muscles they ever used were to hit R1/L1

[@NahIdSword]

@@TheSoldierOfGodrick YOOOO soldier of god, rick! how you doin my fav boss

[@cracksmoker1506]

@@TheSoldierOfGodrick I rekt u 2nd time trying son

[@henrikbgh7221]

@@cracksmoker1506 so you died to him once💀💀💀

[@cracksmoker1506]

@Masterraccoon crack is good for u dont listen to the doctors

[@3000deaths1]

"He liked her enough to make a puppet of her" Sellen: Why is this body sticky???

[@snowpegasi]

It was found next to a bed, we pretty much stole the guy's real doll

[@mylifesubscriptionhasendedwhat]

@@snowpegasi lmao

[@Beriorn]

He also makes the Loathsome Dung Eater into a doll if you let him. Think about that.

[@Picmanreborn]

@@Beriorn 🫣 he's the only one that can defile the corpse defiler

[@skinless5136]

@@Picmanreborn expect us.

[@pedrinholl1921]

Im starting to think that Rennala is some kind of analogy to Walter White😳

[@joejardine4489]

Vince Gilligan is a genius

[@aldoleonardo220]

She got that golden crystal meth... Yeah she is basically Walter White.

[@daga534]

MAGIC, BITCH!!!

[@bungiecrimes7247]

Both have delicious toes 🤤

[@cheatcode436]

“Lustat, we need to cook.”

[@BigKevSexyMan]

Wait, so the people balls are the "seeds of the stars"? Is this how astels are made? 3-4 mages get together and give each other a special hug?

[@Dovawhat]

Orgy magic.

[@masterzoroark6664]

Maybe.... Would be interesting if these can spawn the Fallingstar Beast after a gustation time, like a damn egg.

[@Cheezymuffin.]

Nah, the astels are aliens. First they are fallingstar beasts, then they become the hanging fucks, and then they become an astel

[@perryborn2777]

@@masterzoroark6664 I think Falling Star Beasts actually do fall out of the sky, as you normally find them in craters Also, they're associated with gravity magic, which, while still sorcery, has a stronger association with meteorite than it does with Glintstone I think the same goes for Astels, they also come from the stars and use gravity magic, which is something I don't believe we ever see the big old head spheres using

[@slightlycynical4308]

I think the people balls are what happens when glinstone masters whos bodies get corrupted by glinstone are near each other, they all fuse together to become like a symbiotic organism made of glinstone

[@vagrant2863]

If in Elden Ring two we don't get a stone burger king hat for Thops I'm going to riot.

[@friendoftheoyster3906]

What if Elden Ring 2 takes place in the far future like dark souls 2 and 3 and theres now a new academy built in honor of thops and the whole world worships Goldmask like they do Marika

[@GoblinMagicandEngineering]

Elden Ring 2: This Time It's For Real

[@CoolSs]

those videos legitimately the best way to learn about the story

[@synthraofficial5366]

Eh, it depends. He's got the spirit but sometimes he's totally wrong about some things, although this video is pretty accurate. Always very entertaining though!

[@ginosko_]

Those videos ARE *

[@overland1178]

@@synthraofficial5366Ok nerd

[@snailgames223]

It’s in the lore 😐

[@CoolSs]

@@snailgames223 indeed

[@10_MILES_HIGH_]

I'm so glad FromSoft were brave enough to take inspiration from Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul

[@desertdude540]

And possibly Postal 2, as you do kill pretty much everyone you meet if you're playing the game right. Hopefully the forthcoming expansion pack will add some sort of quest where you go to the mall to get a washed-up child actor's autograph. Prepare to cry.

[@thecultclassic]

One detail left out is that the slaughter of the Village of Albinaurics was ordered by Gideon Ofnir as HE was the one looking for Albus. This is confirmed by Nephili Loux, Albus himself, Latenna and a Finger Reading Crone. Meaning that the Omenkillers (or the ones killing Albinaurics) are employed by Gideon. I don't really think there is a connection to Rykard or Ranni with the Albinauric slaughter I just think it's a coincidence of proximity as they have nothing to do with reaching the Haligtree.

[@friendoftheoyster3906]

I think the Omenkillers are now for-hire mercenaries who like to kill poor people. Theyre not tied to one specific faction, they can be found wherever someone needs a mass kidnapping or slaughter. This includes Gideon, Volcano manor and Leyndell.

[@krystalhaug1957]

Agreed

[@nicolasnarvaezcamacho3223]

i love it when sellen goes AAAHHH UHHH. So inspiring

[@TheRealFlapSlapper]

Straight up I really like your ER content because of how you cover it. There’s not a set list, you’ll cover something neat and really go in depth even if it’s not critical to lore. Dung eater, weeping peninsula, now glintstone. No pattern or anything, I like how it’s whatever you find cool instead of covering things just to cover them just because it’s in the game. Big fan DT!

[@aakashjain4498]

He doesn't cover them just because it's in the game. He does it because IT'S IN THE LORE

[@bigmanontheinternet3824]

God approval from the big man himself. Good job.

[@Smolmothball]

Sellen be like: Ballin but at what cost.

[@moosecannibal8224]

No wait seriously, thanks for mentioning the abductor virgin takes you to a unique place, I'd have had literally no idea without you mentioning.

[@michaeljarmer6106]

I only knew about it from early elden ring speed runs

[@moldybread1956]

You can get to that “secret” boss fight going down the stairs from the godskin past the flame monk and down around the lava through ledge jumps. Found it on accident not knowing about the teleport.

[@jordancave3089]

That’s what I did lol

[@poeman323]

Jesse, we need to go to the academy

[@pulaks2634]

Finally, I thought you were lost in the void of bang cutscenes and abandoned this joint to play Lego games,my worries were unfounded. Hug lady next ?

[@masterzoroark6664]

To elaborate- Fallingstar Beast and Astel are indeed the same species. You can even find the in-between stage of growth of this thing, those hanging thing in few caves that throw rocks at you. Thing is inspired by antlions and if the connection runs deeper- then it means Astel spends most of it's life as the Fallingstar Beast (basically an Astel larvae) And I do also agree with the theories of people that glintstone is alive and basically "part of the outer gods" or something like that and quite parasitic (just like the fkin outer gods) Also, Toph is better that Sellen- he doesn't commit warcrimes on his way to make the barrier spell

[@joejardine4489]

Thops is a Chad

[@coldslam221]

The Abductor Virgin is not the only way to get to the "Secret Boss Fight" in Volcano Manor, right outside the temple where we fought the Godskin in Volcano Manor, you can jump down and do some normal, non-glitch platforming and get to the lower level to fight the two Abductor Virgins, along with procuring a handful of items et al. The video was hilarious as always, just wanted to make this one part clear.

[@GiomDe]

unironically great and thought-provoking

[@Metal_Maoist]

I don't think Sorceries and Incantations being the same thing means that Incantations are powered by glintstone, but rather that Glintstone Sorceries are kinda like incantations of whatever outer god makes Glintstone (propably one or both of the moons)

[@Jackson-mt9kx]

Thank you so much Dark Tark for teaching about the nature of glinstone. All my friends started to smoke glinstone and I was about to join. Very cool, thank you!

[@KadeC021]

You can get to the double abductor virgin boss fight via normal means without getting killed by the one at the academy. I never knew about that teleport though, that’s super neat

[@IronSoulElf]

4:25 I thought Ensha attacked the village of the albinaurics, 'cause as soon as you return to the roundtable hold after getting the half of the medallion, he attacks you.

[@DragoVolcar]

Ensha and the Omenkillers are on the payroll of Gideon. The left half of the medallion was hidden away from the Alb Killers by the pot guy. Once Gideon is aware that you have it, he sends Ensha to ambush you. I don't think Ensha personally attacked the village. Seems kinda overkill to send the Omenkiller, Profaned Perfumer, and Ensha when the Albs can't really fight back. Just the first two were probably enough.

[@doruk7125]

me who always does the consecrated snowfield skip: what medallion

[@vogunBurgundy]

It's weird, because Ensha seems to be acting way ahead of what Gideon's asked of him and they're in the middle of some kind of schism that ultimately proves fatal to Ensha when the player character walks around, but Gideon also doesn't condemn what Ensha did either, and kicks Nepheli Loux out of his service when she gets revenge on his men that, presumably, participated in the Albinauric massacre. Even besides what it says about Gideon - that he's perfectly willing to use mass violence and intimidation and doesn't morally object to it, even if he doesn't actively want to and thinks Ensha is foolish for being so trigger happy - it opens a lot of questions... Probably the one I'm most interested in: who _is_ Ensha? On the one hand, he seems to have some kind of entirely unique power up his sleeve, in that he can somehow either suppress the Peacebond magic at work in the Roundtable Hold, or else somehow divert the teleportation powers of the Tarnished as granted by Sites of Lost Grace/the guidance of Grace in order to trap your PC in a fake Roundtable. He's also apparently able to use Collapsing Stars which is not only an extremely advanced gravity sorcery, it's also one invented by, and otherwise known exclusively by, Radahn himself - this indicates both incredible intelligence and some ties to the Redmanes on Ensha's part. Lastly, the game classifies him as a "Great Enemy", much like Gideon himself way down the line. On the other, Ensha seems _hilariously_ weak in game, to an extent that I cannot believe it wasn't intentional. But even besides the game mechanics... why does he come after you, an immortal Tarnished, as he himself apparently lacks the same immortality? Clearly he isn't a Tarnished then, and I can only imagine he doesn't actually know how Tarnished work. Or else he hoped to somehow permanently incapacitate your character, like how the second D brother smashes up Fia at the end of that quest? (Or maybe producing a Great Rune cost her the guidance of Grace and therefore her immortality.) So... how, and _why,_ does Ensha do any of these Ensha things?

[@oneoranota]

The truth : Gideon is the worst character of Elden Ring. Everyone is his pawn. And he won't cover you. He doesn't care about your life. Only his matters. Ensha failed to kill you, so Gideon is cool with you. Not about to fight a losing battle you see. Which make it particularly impactful when he choses to fight you himself at the end. He knows he'll die. His fight is a joke. But it is his last chance. You are an inch close to becoming elden lord, the purpose of his life. He simply can't let you.

[@SirLazriel]

I really hope this guys video pops off like the dung eater one, I genuinely enjoy his editing

[@manjaman9636]

Can you imagine what the voice actors think about their characters story😂 especially these “smaller” ones

[@nebulouscat2210]

The Glintstones is an Lands-between animated sitcom produced by Rennala-Barbera Productions. The series takes place in a romanticized Stone Age setting and follows the activities of the titular family, the Glintstones, and their next-door neighbors, the Chubbles. Duh

[@spookyjohn6543]

They didnt put a portrait of Haima because they hate anything that involves str TLDR: Gigachads got shamed by nerds

[@paracame8162]

bro put a TLDR for one sentence

[@spookyjohn6543]

@@paracame8162 ye.

[@KATinBLACK]

I remember when my teacher had glintstones. He probably was looking too deep into the primeval current because he couldn’t do magic and the glintstones hurt his body. He had to have them removed before it was too late

[@l.e.b.3541]

I also had some glintstones, they burn like hell in your urethra.

[@compatriot852]

Jesse, we need to study at the academy

[@mr.contentlyso6485]

Please keep making videos like this, not even just on Elden Ring, your delivery, tone, and humor makes me forget to take my antidepressants fr, you're awesome and make great content, much love!

[@ginosko_]

Antidepressants are a scam

[@talkingmudcrab718]

I heard that President Marika's downfall was actually due to her son Godwin leaving his laptop full of evidence of his Glintstone addiction with a Raya Lucaria repairman in Delaware.

[@yaasinnn]

I Ludwig, am in dire need of glowing rocks to make a new moonlight sword.

[@sydposting]

I'm genuinely impressed with how I gain more understanding of the lore in these games through your videos than more serious "lore analysis" channels. Writing for comedy means keeping someone's attention with every sentence, while analysis/academia doesn't mind if you drift off here and there. You keep threading the needle of holding attention with memes *and* showing off all the nuance of Elden Ring's story and game design. 👍 Glad I subscribed, it looks good on my resume.

[@devitobeans6407]

This is the moment Hank cooked Glintminerals

[@harrykearns5508]

It would seem that the real Elden Ring was Thops all along.

[@smellythintoiletpaper6061]

Waltuh White Glintstone

[@Fuggernaut]

I used glintstone once, now I sell my body for starlight shards.

[@Quicksilvir]

I really appreciate the Glintstone/Gacha sight gags.

[@sussylemon677]

I love how the comment section is starting to sound more like dark tark 😂

[@nalzJ]

Vaati might be making a really good lore video but atleast this one is not making me fell asleep

[@bplup6419]

I remember finding Sellen in Weeping Peninsula and thinking, "I'm such a smart clever boy!" Then promptly killed her trying to free her because how was I supposed to know the quest would continue some 20 hours later.

[@rogerroger2514]

Oooo I've been waiting on another elden ring video, love your content man 🙌

[@kristynazipperova4485]

Hands down the best video about glinstone! It has everything, lore and memes! Please continue this path, your content is incredible

[@willyanfontana3211]

One of the most creative and nicest video I've ever seen about elden ring!

[@Khaled-zd7jd]

I love your take on lore telling, funny and direct and not overselling it on the emotions… very cool Chanel

[@Monchoo237]

I love the way you edit your videos and your sense of humor is my favorite kind! Keep up the great work DT 🙂

[@Doktor_Lutscher]

Thank you for teaching this in a way that my 10 int build can understand

[@Maffo__]

out of nowhere the best elden ring player is back... will he find a challenge this time?

[@Spookybluelights]

Bono's lore guides to Lord of the Rings is really helping me understand mostly nothing. 10/10.

[@localassgrabber]

Nice video dark tark. Your lore videos are very funny and still intersesting to watch. Huge fan

[@synthraofficial5366]

Note: you can reach that part of volcano manor through other methods.

[@greedsin555]

Learning Ranni committed war crimes only makes her hotter

[@WarehouseWilgus]

i LOVE these videos and your voice. keep doing videos my man.

[@kyle360123]

Honestly great summary you helped me understand & in a humorous fashion

[@bubbles9844]

I'm glad you mentioned the thing about the creepy thing teleporting you to the volcano manor because I'm on my first playthrough and heard that was a thing but didn't know it brings you to a unique area of it and so I just figured it was just a cool Eastern egg but never had a reason to go try it.

[@joelhodoborgas]

Bro i got home super stressed and the first video im watching is yours and im already lmao, thanks dude.

[@MontanaDoesntExist]

Dude I absolutely love your videos I’m laughing the entire time

[@chiku1337]

I love your videos man, keep it up

[@verminlordsoulberry8823]

0:44 from the bottom of my heart I thank you for putting that in the video and saying what it is. Addiction.

[@Nilli0n]

Something I haven't seen anyone take note of yet is the possibility of a connection between the living jars and the study of graven schools/masses. When you find the graven school talisman the room is filled with living jars and we know that living jars are filled with the remains of warriors. We can assume that a graven school by its appearance is a mass of sorcerers who have merged their bodies into a ball. Perhaps the people interested in creating a graven school were interested in the anatomy/physicality of a living jar to perform a similar process to become something like a living jar themselves only a jar made of glintstone crowns?

[@heyhey7708]

I indicated in my resume that I'm subscribed to your channel and got accepted! Love your content

[@reeds6882]

My day is much better thanks to this upload

[@dragoncrash1234]

Love these What’s the deal videos

[@selbad3603]

Been waiting for the next video

[@alberteinstein1620]

Seing sellen end up like that...it really did feel like altus plateau

[@absolutevessel2326]

That one guy near my high school keeps dealing glinstone should I contact the police ?

[@Ryder274]

No

[@TheMrrccava]

Meme/lore videos are my favorite

[@topcat59]

I feel sorry for thop’s, it’s not his fault he can’t get a Burger King helmet.😿

[@eakin21]

The glintstone gummies got me fucked up

[@turnthevaliumup10ok26]

Actually explains more than I could find anywhere 🤣

[@pubaguh3199]

Mmm crystals

[@afroponix3414]

You can get to that part of volcano manor without getting hugged by the abductor virgin..just gotta burn the feets a bit on the most non deadly lava ever..

[@trashyman1691]

Dude nonironically i love your stuff have a good day kind sir

[@Gh0st652]

You should tell us when you're using cut content in the video. I was gonna use the M1 Abrams in my build but it's cut :(

[@gYYRO__]

rejoice! The great Dark Tark has graced us with his presence!

[@Ricekrispy10]

12:41 I'm not sure what the video has to do with what you're saying but I was dying anyway

[@luka6574]

where can i find the video?

[@dannyg4835]

so in Dark Souls the magic you shoot are generally souls (minus the humanity) but in Elden Ring the magic you shoot are rocks and some magic space beams

[@itspotatotime3527]

Thanks for telling me the secrets of that space juju

[@digitalworms]

I put on my resume that im subscribed to your channel and got a job! Even got a bonus and have to clean the toliets thank you!

[@phy_dude]

Keep making these

[@bubsyfinnigan4462]

How is it that this video is how I learned Jon Hamm hazed a guy so badly he got paralyzed?

[@duncanvondoom]

I love this guy so much. I've never been more excited for new videos!

[@barkuz8864]

I was so relieved when I got out of the cave and found I was home in Copenhagen 😍

[@Mohmar2010]

Oh boy new Lore Which is in the Lore

[@VengefulJay]

Bro that random clip of pain towards the end hit me like a truck

[@addisonhurt2134]

A new episode of Better Call Saul AND a Dark Tark video ? It doesn't get better than this

[@jewitler]

0:46 😭 lmaooo I love the shade and yes we’re basically glintstone scholars

[@toddc7450]

That was a fantastically hilarious video

[@iqiyi1928]

No over the top tryhard meme. This guy is naturally funny

[@axelvaldovinos4499]

Love the Zoomer (Max0r) editing. Fires up my two neurons.

[@JackboMack]

9:55 Was not expecting a crazy taxi reference 😂

[@eddymonies8302]

I would like to purchase one of your finest glintstone pre-rolls, good sir!

[@adcalzyy9990]

Great video. My favourite part was Ball

[@Izolith6767]

i love your narrative

[@tomhuitema2068]

I never thought i'd see austin peterson in an elden ring lore video.

[@genokugel]

Holy shit YESSS ANOTHER DARK TARK VIDEO. I am literally going to make popcorn, I'm so unbelievably happy right now.

[@drvoodoo7202]

I can't believe that somebodhi still remember "The Powder Toy" game. Amazing