What The Dismissive Avoidant Hopes & Fears In A Relationship | Dismissive Avoidant Attachment

7-Day Free Trial: university.personaldevelopmen...
Healthy and Secure Relationships with/for the Emotionally Unavailable Person Dismissive Avoidant Re-programming Course: university.personaldevelopmen...
Advanced Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style: Your Guide to Thrive in the 6 Stages of a Relationship Course: university.personaldevelopmen...
What are Dismissive Avoidants I hear you ask? Check out our playlist here to find out more about them - • Self Soothing Versus C...
Never miss a life changing lesson from Thais Gibson and the Personal Development School by hitting the subscribe button here - / @thepersonaldevelopmen...
Public Facebook group:
/ 461389461257253
If you want to listen in, check out Thais' podcast here:
pod.link/1478580185
I’m Thais Gibson, welcome to my channel and thank you for stopping by!
This is a channel designed for you, to be used as a resource to create lasting transformation in your personal and professional life. Here you’ll recieve an ongoing series of personal development and spiritual growth videos for you to expand your awareness and find resolution and deep understanding within.
Want to transform your life? If I did it, I know you can too!
---
#DismissiveAvoidant #Relationships #PersonalDevelopmentSchool #ThaisGibson #PDS #AttachmentStyles #Love #Dating #Romance
---

[@melmel8907]

1. Dating Phase usually 0-6 months. Prior to exclusivity. To assess relationship. Does this person fit? Anxious - trying to be worthy and a good fit. Dismissive Avoidant DA - takes time 4-6 months to logically assess. Can become critical. 2. Honeymoon phase DA has specific core wounds that come up. Tries to make honeymoon phase short because they need safety and security. Needs a sense of self. 3. Power struggle stage - about communicating needs. Purpose is to learn to integrate our true sense of self and be vulnerable, express our needs and have them be met. DAVoid tends to want to hold onto their sense of self and retreat. Almost unconscious assumed behavior to not communicate needs from childhood. Hold space for this to take place helps. Learn the capacity that they can show up and exchange energy. Fearful avoidants also need to learn this lesson, that their needs are worthy. 4. Stability Stage DA’s favorite stage but can doubt it. Unconscious pressure that is this really the person? It’s a way for DA to keep a commitment at bay. Learn to keep connection alive so you can move into next stage. 5. Commitment StageMean be triggering stage for DA if core wounds haven’t been addressed. DA believe they aren’t good enough. Defective. Partner can communicate in a way that invalidates these believes. If they work through. 6. Bliss stage DA learns how to be vulnerable, voice needs, and healthy exchange of energy.

[@nataliiagavryliuk1633]

Thank you

[@jeanjessmommysharlyn2771]

Thank you so much thats very helpful...i was searching about that

[@anupamaraianvirai1183]

But how long does it actually take ? 😃😃😃😃 they really want us to show patience of Gandhi ji

[@jeanjessmommysharlyn2771]

@@anupamaraianvirai1183 I've asked the other who had a relationship with a DA they take 3 and half months, others 4 years and others 5 years when the DA already feels comfortable with you and completely trust you.. they're always afraid that the one they love might leave them...they lose themselves

[@anupamaraianvirai1183]

@@jeanjessmommysharlyn2771 hmmm... that’s why they are always guarded. So it seems only time will convince them that we are here to stay.

[@Njjoy16]

AP with a DA and it has been total Hell, especially being unaware of attachment styles until a few years into the relationship. There is zero security, no compliments, and constant anxiety. My recommendation is to run before you become a pain body.

[@cheetahcat3940]

Yes. The lack of compliments and the criticism... it gives you anxiety.

[@gwendolynn7314]

Yes but you have to work on yourself if you hope for the next relationship to be in a healthy one.

[@cristinaalvarez6822]

Omg so true! When I asked the DA how I looked with my hair done and nice dress, he said, don't go fishing for compliments that's so sad.

[@user-yv1fh3fc8y]

The DA is simply not equipped to participate in a loving relationship. They need therapy until they can change their personality (because their personality is in disorder). To be in a relationship with an unresolved DA is equivalent to being in a relationship with a drug addict, you will NEVER be their priority.

[@SantanaBanana47]

A relationship can be one of the best opportunities for growth in the areas people with a dismissive attachment style struggle. Also what does having a dismissive avoidant attachment style have to do with priority?

[@KP-mw6cx]

@Tyler I agree that a relationship can be a huge opportunity for growth (actually for BOTH the AP & the DA). I would actually argue that neither are “equipped” to participate in a loving relationship. That’s why everything is so personal & painful. But the “priority” piece is due to the sense that the DA operates from a place of “Me, myself, and I”. Since their coping mechanism is one of independence/freedom/autonomy, there’s the propensity for them to go against the requests of the AP. IOW, They don’t want to be “controlled”. But the way that an AP interprets that (of course through their own meaning-making core wounds) is that the DA is selfish. They will always choose their own wants, needs, desires & not “consider” their partner. This might look like an AP saying, “Hey, I haven’t seen u all week, Id love to see you tomorrow.” But the DA says, “Sorry. I’m hanging out with my BFF again.” It’s obviously not because this sort of scenario happens once or twice, it’s because it happens quite a lot. Thus, the AP gets the message that they are not a priority for the DA. The interesting part is if the AP was better at self regulation, and communication there’s actually a good chance they can start to draw the DA in, getting them to start prioritizing them just as they hope and dream. It’s nervous system deregulation that really gets in the way, coupled with an inability to properly communicate about needs & handle conflict.

[@rehapoulson8149]

I have been in my relationship with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and he’s a DA. I happen to be an FA. Very frequently anxious. He knows this, and supports me through those rough patches I tend to have. I am shocked that people like this are on these videos commenting things like, “DAs are not equipped to be in a loving relationship.” You really think that people aren’t qualified to be loved because of something in their brain that tells them to be a certain way? No one has ever loved me as much as my boyfriend does. He is the most deserving of love, and has been through so many things that makes him all the more lovable. He’s a normal 18 year old male. It took me a while to figure out his way of showing me his love, but once I did, I feel his love constantly. For example,texting me good morning every morning and saying “I hope you sleep well” every night is showing me he loves me. His core wounds have taught me that he doesn’t like to be touching, holding hands, or cuddling constantly. He doesn’t like to do that, because he wasn’t raised in a super loving home. In fact constant touching or being “lovey” makes him anxious. You have to learn what your partner needs and they need to know what helps you feel loved. Everyday he cuddles me and gives me kisses or holds my hand whenever I want, because he knows thats how I feel love the most. If you’re dating a DA and you’re FA, don’t let these comments from these people let you down. Know how to love your partner, know how they show love, and communicate well, and your relationship will be just fine. Reading these comments from these people who think they know what they’re talking about, when they’ve clearly never tried loving a DA in the right way, has made me feel really discouraged. Yes you’ll have fights, but so will everyone else in their relationships. It seriously blows my mind some people have the audacity to tell DAs they aren’t worthy of love. That’s absolute so disgusting and I hope you find that everyone, no matter how their brain works, deserves love.

[@SantanaBanana47]

@@rehapoulson8149 you are very understanding. You sound like a great partner.

[@djpdyson]

AP's, work on yourself so you can become secure and find the strength to leave your avoidant. They tend not to do their homework. You're in it alone most of the time. Don't waste your time. It's not worth it if they're not doing their own work

[@theguy4615]

Great comment. I've come to this conclusion. My DA came back after 11 months of no contact and then pulled away after two weeks. This has to be the last time for my own mental health. Heal myself so I can move on.

[@djpdyson]

@@theguy4615 really it's like beating your head against a brick wall and it's lonely because you're the one doing all the compromising and all the work and taking the mental and emotional punishment every time they withdraw. Nothing is lonelier than feeling like you're in a relationship that's completely one-sided. Unless they are really doing their homework and actively participating to make things better, it's futile. We can do better than that

[@theguy4615]

@@djpdyson exactly. I was much happier being alone. I'm done with her now.

[@cangrejitamiry]

I am ambivalent and the AP side causes suffering and makes me work hard on myself but the DA side makes me just self righteous. I takes a lot of character or suffering for a DA wanting to change. And honestly, I only think they change after being burnt by another DA

[@mrsimo7144]

To those suffering either AP, AF or DA, My partner was as I expected a DA with the usual traits. I found out that I was an AA. We broke up 4 times and after the 4th I was at my wits end. I only discovered I was anxious and she somehow triggered me. I then got to work to sort myself out as I couldn't go through this with anyone else. It was life changing. I got professional help and did what I could to improve myself. 6 weeks down the road, I'm in a much better place now. I know how hard it is being with a DA, however, if they want it, they will meet you halfway to change. As my attachment style has changed, so has my attitude, she knows that I'm not a push over and that has helped things no end. So, do what you can and be strong. If they are worth it, then they will go with you, if they don't want to, then you'll have to decide. It's tough as, as you don't know their style until your'e into the relationship which is no good to anyone, but you should not suffer for this. Much love to you all.

[@mathews0618]

You should be getting more views. You are on point with this stuff.

[@navdeeppasricha8819]

Yes

[@hwy138]

Husband is DA we have been married for 40 years. We were only married for 2 months when I knew I had made a major mistake. I did not know what was wrong . Only found out about 2 weeks ago what was wrong . I suggest running as fast as you can from this if you are young .

[@bryanrobertday]

Oh my Goodness you were with this man for 40 years? You are a soldier

[@hockitibontas]

Or, now you know what the root issue is you can both look at repairing/rewiring? And maybe it's worth it because 1) you're still with him after 40 years so must be something between you and 2) your on this channel, so (subconsciously at east ) looking for solutions?

[@Datavinc]

Thanks for the suggestion

[@spannycat2]

Agreed. They are pests. They are the ones who chase after me and bother me at the beginning. Then they get lazy and I do all the work

[@bestoffriends703]

Yeah, 25 years and just figured it out. Getting out!

[@sshuteandrew]

Yes, the honeymoon phase with my DA was very short.

[@BebeMayu]

I'm an anxious with a DA, reaching the 5th stage. It has not been an easy 4 years. There have been lots of tears and frustration along the way. Alot of misunderstandings and drama. However, we've had a lot of good memories as well. It's so easy to forget the good times outweighing the bad when you're in a negative state. I've been nurturing my attachment to be more secure thanks to your videos, and although it does take a toll sometimes, it takes two to really make it strive and my partner has been altering his habits too. I really think it's so important to communicate in a clear gentle tone which doesn't make them feel trapped. And also being aware of their state to know when to give them space. When i get triggered or have obtrusive thoughts, I mentally write notes in my mind to calm myself and handle the situation fairly. Being with a DA is definitely a lot of work and patience, not going to lie 😭.

[@jeanjessmommysharlyn2771]

Yes i definitely agree with you...

[@austinnguyen9107]

We're doing all this work to accommodate them, staying calm even if they abuse or neglect us. Yet are they going out of their way to make us feel loved? Imagine if you met someone who put in the same level of effort u are putting into them? Would u still settle for the BS?

[@berfin5865]

@@austinnguyen9107 yes. I'm in love with everything that is him and he's not replaceable.

[@natashahobbs3651]

@@austinnguyen9107 as a FA who has both traits, the avoidant part is not intentional. I think what people forget to realize is it’s their triggered state to avoid and come to safety within theirselves. APs triggered state makes them want to be rescued by someone else instead of recognizing their own power and autonomy... Then unfortunately, my FA triggered state is to not trust anyone so I push and pull. It’s not necessarily a state of awareness and maliciousness, it’s a state of anxiety I believe. If they are aware and being malicious then they are probably more than DA. They are probably narcissists lol

[@nothanks5846]

@@natashahobbs3651 wow, I love the way you explained this! I never thought about the AP as wanting to be ‘rescued’, but that makes so much sense, and explains a few things that have happened to me with APs (and to a certain extent, anxious people in general). Thank you so much for the insight. Take care 😊💕

[@optimusprimevil1646]

you talk about me with more insight than my friends, family, ex partners, philosophers, writers, me, jordan peterson... who the heck are you and how do you know so much?!

[@clambarn1218]

Wow, it's so funny that you would bring up the excellent Jordan Peterson. He usually gets people on the road to getting help. Call him a psychological traffic conductor.

[@spannycat2]

As a fearful avoidant I know that anxious preocuppieds who get attached to me will love me forever. So I don't have to put in any effort. My guess is that DAs know their attached partners will live then forever and so they don't fear abandonment. They know that if they break up, they'll still be loved by their ex. And so that validates them. And they don't feel sad.

[@cangrejitamiry]

True

[@lavalampazzz]

Who has the time and effort to love a DA? Especially if you are anxious or FA? I mean the type of work/process she is talking about takes YEARS. And might not even work. Meanwhile you are constantly getting hurt and perhaps even wasting your time on someone who is not fully capable of loving you. The amount of responsibility on the partner of the DA is unfair.

[@caitm8209]

Well I think that is the problem...any amount of effort pushes them away So I don't even understand how it is possible to begin with.

[@minawei7263]

That's the thing, you don't have to make any effort. Live your better life for yourself and be independent, the D-A is just a bonus pal along the way, if you'll have him, (IF you are okay with that type of relationship). The more dependent you'll seem, the more responsible for your own outcome you'll make him to be, the further away you'll be pushing him. Thing is, he might love you in his weird way, but the ultimate truth I think is that he doesn't *need* you (or anyone). I have no evidence of this I am merely speculating, but I could see how, in a situation where the partner is okay with getting out of the typical romantic-walt-disney kind of relationship, it could work. If you can be at peace with handling yourself as you would have done otherwise , meaning, as if you weren't expecting someone else to give meaning to your life, then hop-on. If you find yourself continuously seeking for the ''hard-to-get'' type of relationship, but find that it causes unbearable stress, and deflates your sense of worth, you're probably better off adopting a cat ahahah. Hearing on how frequently anxious types go for relationships with D-As, sounds like so much unecessary pain to me. It's as bad of an idea as dipping yourself in honey and hanging around the swamp naked at sundown for mosquitos and flies to eat you up (and maybe a bear or two, just for comedy).

[@caitm8209]

@@minawei7263 I actually love this perspective.

[@kailikesspamming]

@@minawei7263 as a DA in love with another DA, you are spot on. Amazing description. I wish there were more people like you

[@strongerasone2403]

Does a DA mind if the person they like doesn't contact them or see them for long periods of time e.g. weeks or months at a time? Or do they assume that you're angry with them or the relationship/friendship is over? What does the DA think/feel about a partners/friends absence?

[@marcwelch2624]

Thais, you have such an ability to clearly verbalize symptoms and actions that help us who want to be better. I have seen 5 counselors over 40 yrs and none of them have helped me to understand the reasons so I could relate and change to actually progress and heal. You are a Godsend. I hope it's not too late.

[@unkemptribbons4784]

Are you advertising enough? Because your videos are so good, the information is so important and your delivery is great; I only found this by a search of attachment styles, otherwise I’d never heard of you. Get your name out there, you have a gift!

[@LemansSunset350]

💯💯💯💯

[@user-yv1fh3fc8y]

4-6 months OR MORE to decide upon a committed relationship without any communication of love nor as to why they’re waiting is unimaginable to me. How do you know that they aren’t breadcrumbing you for their narcissistic supply?

[@PaigeSquared]

You don't. It's supposed to be by the things they do, but it seems like they really want you to assume, and then cling onto all plausible deniability. Fun risk to take, right? 💩🙄

[@jamieberinger6635]

I hate seeing so much hate on DA's. FYI I am not one. I am FA leaning secure, but i am in a happy long term relationship with a DA now leaning secure also .I want to say this to honestly see if I can help one person Instead of using your energy to come on here to tear someone down, regardless of your personal perception..use that energy and apply that to building yourself up. You will get farther, trust me :)

[@Klb1028]

I so, SO wish your videos had been around years ago. The vast amount of info you've provided might have actually been able to save the relationship with my DA ex. I'm learning so much about both of us from you, despite having done tons of research on attachment styles some years back. We - he - called it a year ago, after 7 years and RIGHT after a major event. I hope he finds emotional health someday, and I wish we could have known all this. At least I'll know it for next time. Thank you.

[@tinybrit3225]

I think these 6 stages only work if the DA is willing to do the work and want to change. I remember my ex DA saying that he doesn’t want to work on himself but then also said that he’s getting a better idea of how much he is to take on for someone. So he’s pretty set on not changing for anyone and hopes to find someone who will fully accept his DA ways.

[@cangrejitamiry]

You can accept them as much as you want though, him sitting alone at home means there is no relationship. It is not dependent on someone accepting them. No relationship is no relationship with or without accepting him.

[@attheranch873]

That’s the most accurate description of my relationship with my ex that I’ve ever heard.

[@senseijen8963]

I have read somewhere that based on research, the emotional part of the brain of DA's isn't as responsive as the other attachment. Neuro imaging shows it. In this case, I feel defeated it's true you can't change a person and if it's hard wired in the brain, you just can't do anything but accept them for who they are and live according to their way that is if you don't love yourself and don't mind being treated like a doormat.

[@jeanjessmommysharlyn2771]

Sis will you please give me the link...what I've noticed about DA they are dismissive and detached to emotions but whenever he tells me he watch a movie or anime he felt sad and he likes to listen even sad songs...i guess from the outer we see them as a tough but from the inside they are sensitive and also he always use sarcasm on me...other times I'm kinda hurt but for him it's only for fun...

[@jeanjessmommysharlyn2771]

Other DA said they are not good in emotional stuff they usually hide it or they don't know what to do or say ..so i see you both have to negotiate and communicate each other's need so both of you can meet... whenever i told him i like this and i don't like that he tries to do it...but they really love physical touch and words of affirmation...but they show they're love through acts of service...

[@natashahobbs3651]

Based on what we know about neuroplasticity, I think it is foolish to go off of a brain scan of just a DA. I would need to see a brain scan of DA who wants to change and see if there is development after years of therapy towards working on becoming more secure.

[@gayanngodfrey2824]

Is anything too hard for God?

[@gwendolynn7314]

I don't feel like a doormat. Because of him, I learned to love myself, become secure, and get a life outside of him. When he needs space, I do my hobbies. When he's available, we do our hobbies together. The best if both worlds 😊

[@EtherealAthena]

SO MUCH VALUE in every single video!!! thank you so much for taking the time to make these. i get to learn from you in between classes on the week days as well as keeping my education coming on the weekends! i feel so privileged

[@nellgeez]

😒 I’ve never made it to the bliss stage. Never in my 40 years of life. I’m a fearful avoidant with high levels of dismissive avoidant

[@claudiavaccaro4784]

Thank you for all your work and knowledge 😊😊 incredibly helpful

[@lehuananichai3947]

Ok after watching several of these videos, I am at the conclusion that I must refrain from bringing up feelings other than “at ease” or “safe”. Two years into this relationship I am finally getting the understanding I needed to continue with my DA boyfriend.

[@TaniaSeabock]

You're so intelligent and offer such great info. Thank you for taking the time to teach us. ...also a very beautiful woman!!! :)

[@deathsheadtarot7875]

My dismissive avoidant partner took 9 months before deciding to commit. It really helped me as an FA to understand this all this information about how we have interacted. Thanks for all your knowledge 🥰🙏

[@section9999]

9 months?!?!?! 😱And you stuck around with the uncertainty for that long without any reciprocity? That is ...some truly impressive dedication. 🤯

[@melissabucknoff3866]

Your videos are changing my life. Thank you.

[@AlohaMichaelDaly]

That’s amazing Thais. Don’t underestimate your contribution to immediate relationships. It’s more than that. I dream of the day when childhood trauma is all but history for future generations. Couples who are cognitive, have the benefit of therapists like yourself, couple who can get through core wounds with each other probable will make great parents and break harmful generational cycles.

[@Kv-pk2st]

Yup my DA once commented about being messed up. (Core wounds) I said to her, we are all messed up on some level, none of us are perfect and we all have our insecurities fears and wounds.question is what do you want to do about it.

[@section9999]

Exaaaactly. 💯

[@lindseykeating]

Absolutely AHmazing content 💝

[@maximilianbatz2070]

Thais, could you please do a video on the protest behavior of DA and FA? thank you ❤️

[@geraldbrown8711]

This is a great video! I had to listen at a slower playback speed, because my brain can't process as fast as she speaks.

[@Meli-ul9zt]

Seems so beautiful, just really impossible. Especially when there's love but one of the two gave up.

[@CorporateQueen]

Right?

[@cycolburn99]

Avoidants I don’t think have the same concept of love.

[@sshuteandrew]

Mel Ordonez That’s where I am.

[@michellefalco9773]

some people care but they can not sustain the commitment or make the efforts it takes to be in a stable relationship-too wobbly-

[@miranda6738]

Yeah could be really beautiful, I don’t want to give up, but I don’t know how long I can hold on for

[@jeanjessmommysharlyn2771]

Miss thais gibson thank you so much your videos are very helpful ☺️😘

[@Quantumsupercomputer]

Thank you so much for this

[@stephaniemendez6784]

DA are too much work..its friggin exhausting...I just couldn't anymore ...I'd rather be alone then the constant trying....I'm exhausted emotional and mentally.. you will be waiting for years!!!!!

[@leah-7011]

DAs actually feel the same way about most other people...

[@ahmedwanjugi109]

@@leah-7011 exactly 😂

[@Linda-td5si]

@@leah-7011 How is the DA waiting? For what? Do they not like secure people with straight forward, honest communication? Do they not prefer healthy interdependence?🤔

[@addwasabitomycoffee5811]

@@Linda-td5si Honestly, if they can, the DA will try their best to not depend on anybody at all, apart from certain technical matters maybe

[@Linda-td5si]

@@addwasabitomycoffee5811 Thank you. Ok, I get that they will rely mostly on themselves, so they may think. We live in an interdependent world, that is how things work in general. Specifically, I don't understand how my Beloved DA, on the one hand, won't rely on anyone and considers any kind of needs as weak, yet, he needs sex and physical touch through massage. If I am weak for having a need, does he see himself as weak for having a need? And can a DA have feelings of love for a quasi significant other? Especially if he is avoiding or pushing down feelings. And how does a DA experience feelings of love inside, if they do feel romantic feelings? And how do they show you that love? I am often left feeling dismissed and used, even though I have more insight into his attachment style and my boundaries have improved significantly. I am quite independent and not overly needy and he still sees me as needy which is not true and puzzling. And I have no problem with giving space. A month or two of not showing up is too much space for me though. I would appreciate any info to gain more insight and clarity. Thank you.

[@razvanyke]

Expressing the own needs clearly and concise is the key to deal with a DA. When I asked my ex FA what she would like me to do more and she said to be romantic, I was as lost as before the question. Then what Thais describes in the min. 9:08 started and hell broke loose.

[@jeanjessmommysharlyn2771]

You nailed it...DA its like innocent and have poor modeling when it comes to expressing feelings and be intimate...but he really likes physical touch, and caress hehe..do you agree?

[@Fazefazefaze25]

We are all messed up. This information was just a tip of an ice berg and yet its so overwhelming. I wonder how strenuous the real work is. 😶

[@Badbettypowers]

You are amazing!!!!!

[@mochiwaffles]

Stop trying to fix the DA, they may never change, if you love them, let them go. You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped, helping them actually delays their own growth. They have to wake up on their own, maybe by meeting someone they really really like, someone they love so much it’s enough for them to want to willingly change for them with the urge to change originating from within them because the fear of losing that person is scarier than anything else in the world. So just know your own worth and stop letting DAs treat you like shit, you’re not a doormat. When you see how much you deserve, others see it too.

[@emotophobiccdd8006]

no...helping people actually does help people! It's enabling people's bs that delays their growth. Do you reckon it's possible that you got the two mixed up, but are too grandiose to own your role? DA is a HUGE spectrum btw. Thanx for throwing us ALL in one basket. Reading your other posts, you sound like a little girl, with a big chip on her shoulder. An "FA heading towards secure". Somehow I doubt it! Funny thing I've noticed about people who label a particular type of ex as "losers" is that they are the ones who end up with those "losers" time and time again!

[@fionaheat718]

DA can never love someone that much. They are handicapped

[@emotophobiccdd8006]

@@fionaheat718 Be sure to ask Virbra how her new love is going. Careful...it's contagious!!! Have a great day!

[@trishrochelle8991]

Emotophobic CDD i don’t understand why you’re getting so defensive and making personal attacks on people over an objective observation someone made about self love. No matter where you are on the Dismissive spectrum seriously check yourself and try to have some basic respect for others... even if that is hard with the Dismissive attachment style. ;)

[@emotophobiccdd8006]

@@trishrochelle8991 Presumably you've seen her other posts; in particular the one where she calls DA's losers? Respect is a two way street. Like most DA's, I'm happy to meet you there. Amazing how people (invariably with their own personal grudge against DA's) choose to skip straight passed blatant, vicious insults about about the DA, then, use words like "objective" to imply that those insults are given facts, as a form of passive aggressive provocation.... I see through it! The other day I even clicked the like button when Virbra wrote something which I considered productive. I'll just as happily reply to any of her/your productive comments according, IF and when I see them. When DA's have written nonsense like her posts I have called them out; as I will continue to do. Because that's objective. I'm not tribal. Perhaps you should try it sometime, please! Sorry, blatant & passive aggressive DA bashing will be called out for what it is every single time!

[@grayhalf1854]

Personally I like to get through the dating phase as soon as I can and slip into easy affectionate comfort.

[@starfire8828]

Interesting... my DA reached Bliss stage (we talked about opening a business/shop/food truck) but he still broke up with me. 13 years together.

[@maysaraali5772]

Thank you 💗

[@jaredvaughan1665]

In MBTI anxious types prefer the cognitive function of Fe and Ti and Se and Ni.

[@minawei7263]

I think you're a cool Gal. Congrats on your channel.

[@vladimirsamsonov46]

Nice quiz. Got 44% anxious 😕

[@DvddyChic]

So informative as always

[@OsMom133]

The way that I nodded from 5:12 - 6:00. That's what I do. I thought I was normal and healthy lol. I'm just learning these details so hearing how DA's move in the honeymoon stage kind of blew my mind. It feels so fake and obsessively lovey-dovey. I just want to be real. But...I'm seeing that I could learn to hang out there more, so more affection, etc. Bleh.

[@livinggood6876]

Good stuff, too late in my case bc we broke up but its ok bc he was just too complex for me.

[@gebronthomasson6960]

Thank you

[@exscapegoatpowerfulhealer9685]

I left while in the power struggle faze. Not the best timing but he lied again & did it for space while showing his true self. Lies & true self. So his true self is present while he's lying to me was the straw that broke the connection for me.

[@BradHerrera]

I liked this one ☝️

[@walkertranger5746]

My question is How do you tactically ask “Do you need space so you can truly recharge, or do you need space so you can see someone else ?” It seems such an excuse … I mean if a DA wants to , they can acknowledge they are an avoidant . They can use it as a wonderful example excuse to sleep around, especially if they have won the love and trust of their partner.

[@gwendolynn7314]

They don't know they have a problem. ..

[@bouclechocolat]

Do you have any videos tailored to the dismissive avoidant in the relationship?

[@christylauren8295]

I am DA woman. We do care. We are capable of caring. I think it's important to remember that the Dismissive behaviour comes from anxiety. So when we are met with other anxious behaviours like people being demanding and needy. It becomes very overwhelming very quickly and exaccerbates our complulsion to run. We will miss you when we've stepped out for a second and the anxiety eases. I guess the beauty of being with a DA is that you can entertain all the things you love without being questioned because we understand the need for time alone and personal growth. We do need companionship from a partner but can only handle it in smaller doses.

[@janislove26]

@christy - My DA ex and I dated for 3 years. We are on our second break. This time, I ended it simply because I felt like I was doing all of the work. He was working full-time, going back to school full-time, working a second job even though he didn’t need to, and thought it was wise to purchase a puppy. I was helping him with all of this and felt like I was just giving, giving, giving with little in return. I was exhausted and upset because I felt I didn’t matter enough when he would not have been able to achieve all he was doing without me. However, now that I’ve found Thais’s channel and started attending her Personal Development School, I have learned so much- including the things I was misreading and doing to contribute (as well as him). Anyway, it has been six months since we last saw each other, but he has made the effort to keep communicating with me. I’d hear from him every week or every other week most recently. On Easter, he finally was vulnerable with me and told me that he just finished school (it’s been two years of our time together) and he told me he couldn’t have done it without me. He told me he misses me. And in other texts, he told me he thinks of me all the time and that he loves me more than anyone. He still has lots of my belongings, kept my name on his Netflix profile, etc. In everything I know about DA’s, and just him in general, it seems to me that he does want to rekindle things, but is a little hesitant and uncertain as to whether he can meet me halfway. For the first time since our breakup, I decided to initiate a puppy play-date, of which he responded immediately with “I could probably do that”. Then I said, “Great. Maybe next week or the following when the weather cools off.” Two weeks later, I followed up with him and asked if he wanted to do it on Thursday, and he immediately responded with “that could probably work.” However, then when I texted him Thursday, he said he couldn’t because he was working late and had to stop at his brothers who lives an hour away. I feel that he is so hot and cold & am trying not to feel foolish for initiating the hangout. However, since I was the one who technically ended things (even though neither of us wanted it to end), and he had been the one initiating 95% of the communication, I thought maybe if I showed him I was open to meeting up, he would see where I stand. Now, it’s hard not to feel rejected- even though, my gut says it has less to do with me and his interest and more to do with his fear of being hurt and knowing that for us to work, he would have to come forward a bit to meet me... especially since I’ve gotten healthier in this time apart and have learned not to go 100% of the way towards him. Anyway, we will be seeing each other at a sporting event this weekend (how we met), but not because we intentionally set this up. We just naturally both ended up deciding to go and later found the other one will be there. Part of me is thinking that since he knew of this, he figured it wasn’t a big deal to cancel on the doggy play-date, and I know for certain he will end up coming up to me, talking, and hanging with my brother a bit, too. I also think when he sees me, he is going to see how much growth, positive change, and physical improvement I’ve made in our time apart (for myself), and likely be drawn to me again. We have both acknowledged that our love and attraction for the other has not faded. But, I was wondering your take on the hot and cold piece as well as my one initiation of meeting up and having that fall through. I have been very self-focused on personal growth, warm, and inviting- but don’t know if you have any insight. I really feel that he doesn’t want it to be over, but at the same time isn’t ready just yet to try it one last time- but also think that may all change once he sees me in a neutral environment partaking in something we both enjoy. I also don’t think his feelings have faded whatsoever, but I don’t know if there’s anything more from my end that may ease any anxiety he may have. I’m thinking that by me initiating, he knows of my interest - which was casual and cool- and from there, he now can decide if he wants to pick the ball up or not...

[@christylauren8295]

@@janislove26 I too take on two jobs and study as well. I get so tired it effects my relationships leaving little time for my partner. I am aware of it and aware of how it makes my partner feel. I understand he just wants time and to feel loved. I am simply exhausted. I do try to make up for it in other ways. When I am alone I can build an empire for my partner. There's nothing I cannot do. I can arrange big surprises and function at my best. I can plan future holidays and romantic evenings and prepare my mentality for it. I am awesome in small doses. But in other situations I am debilitated. Working together and relying on other people is hard for me (thus working so much. I need my own security.) I am 38 and have walked away from many relationships aware that I could not fulfill my partners needs. I have been this way for as far as I can remember. Often I feel that I'm better off having friendships instead of relationships because hurting people is not ever my intention. Your man will be very proud of your personal growth and achievements. As strange as it sounds. We do want you to be happy despite not always being able to do it ourselves. Its important you know your worth. You deserve to feel fulfilled and to feel a love beyond measure. DA's are just wired a bit differently. To get the best out of me personally. You need to leave me alone. In that time I will look forward to seeing you. Afterwards I will need time alone again. Our walls are up pretty high so if your DA is cancelling I would say its just to avoid disappointment. DA's come from a lifetime of it.

[@johnholmes6741]

I get lots of action on the side that helps me cope;)..

[@gwendolynn7314]

Yes but my DA gives me way more space than time together, so it doesn't even feel like a relationship...

[@morehn]

Can you discuss how each attachment style can develop a relationship?

[@liliavolodina2780]

Can DA give you lots of attention first and then start withdrawing after honeymoon phase?

[@manhattan_maria]

They usually are very charming and do the chasing in the very start of the relationship, but if there is any signs that you’d want to take it to the next level they’ll go ghost.

[@vladimirsamsonov46]

That's how DA subconsciously operates.

[@addwasabitomycoffee5811]

I have read this many times in the comment section but is it really a defining characteristic of DAs that they are the ones who do the chasing or pursuing in relationships? Because I'm a DA and it never happened in my case, quite the opposite happens actually

[@Taylor-mn9fv]

My latest ex is a DA. She started out very affectionate and happy to give attention. Once we became exclusive, the honeymoon phase passed very quickly and she withdrew HARD.

[@spannycat2]

@@addwasabitomycoffee5811 That's interesting. DAs have always chases me at the beginning and then got lazy when I started to chase. I would never chase a DA mostly because I tend not to notice them. I usually notice APs, and secures because they are more loud, emotionally vulnerable, and just all around more noticeable.

[@happysinger23]

Your links in the description don't work....

[@leolady8114]

I am curious if a secure attachment style should TRY to slow down any stages a DA may be trying to rush through, such as the honeymoon stage? Is it recommended to slow a DA down and discuss it or allow it to flow naturally through a DA's comfort level and discuss more once they are more secure?

[@dia606]

The latter in my experience. I don’t think they let you slow it down very much

[@Plobia]

Love your work.Quiz link seems not to be working.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Thank you!! It is fixed now :)

[@Plobia]

@@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool Thanks.

[@terrysteward]

@Thais,after 23y together and married 22,we broke up,as she seems to be in MLC,she moved out for 6 months,her AP dumped her a number of times,I got her to move back,and she reluctantly agreed,we have been cohabiting for 16 months,as our finances were affected by covid,,seem to be getting on better,she is I believe DA,as it actually makes sense after our relationship history,,,I’m trying to keep my Anxious preoccupied style at bay,to not push her away,it’s tough,as she certainly does things that trigger me,and she can seem really cold at times.I’m hoping she will come out of the MLC and want to commit to our marriage as best she can,we do a lot together,and hit our 24th wedding anniversary this June.

[@gwendolynn7314]

I had to look up mlc 🤣 I thought only men went through that. I didn't. But anyways I pray the best for your marriage 🙏

[@CorporateQueen]

You totally nailed how the last couple of years was for me with my DA. I didn't know. :(

[@debbievailholmes7140]

Where is the form to fill out that you mentioned in tje beginning

[@jacobbrozenick8366]

Well you have definitely helped me discover that I’m a DA. The struggle now is finding the motivation to do anything about it. In relationships I always seem to get stuck in this purgatory, like we are between two phases and it just stagnates. Is it possible that some people are just happy single and should stay that way?

[@sshuteandrew]

Jacob Brozenick That’s a DA belief- “relationships are too much work and I’m better off alone.” It’s hard to convince DA’s of the value of relationships, but of course a healthy relationship is better than trying to go at life alone. People are wired for attachment since birth.

[@jacobbrozenick8366]

Summer Well it’s not isolationism, I don’t want to become a hermit. I have a very active life with lots of people. I just have a hard time forming deep bonds, and as you say, it is very hard for me to see the value in it. I’ve hurt a lot of people not realizing this in the past and have taken the stance that it’s better for me to remain single.

[@kate7932]

Yes.. it is very typical for DA to think in this way.. it’s not about being an hermit, it’s about having problems with deep bonds, intimacy, vulnerability with the partner especially.. when you thought to be just not for romantic relationships you will find out it’s because of your attachment 😊 my dad is a DA with everyone and he’s very active in life, job, sports.. but when he has to show up in a vulnerable way, and open up with his feelings, private things, it’s not comfortable for him anymore... DA 😊 you focused on other growing up and pushing yourself to be independent but there is a reason for it..

[@hannahschroeder922]

I agree with @Summer. My attachment style is predominantly DA and while I can function really well on a surface level and have lots of "friend-quaintences", it's difficult for me to allow deeper connections to happen. I have one friend who has been in my life for 12 years and she is the only person who I've been able to form this kind of deeper connection with, I feel more comfortable being vulnerable and open with her about my feelings than anyone. She has the patience of a *saint* for investing time in me and allowing me to open up in my own way and we've had a lasting friendship even in spite of significant geographical distances. But this type of relationship is kind of an anomaly for me. I've realized that I do feel empty and lonely as a result of my inability to form these deeper connections (go figure). I've realize that I actually *do* crave deeper connections and more fulfilling relationships, but I don't know how to make it happen. Like Summer said and like Thais said - humans are hardwired for connection and intimacy. All of these attachment styles are learned behaviors that we can identify and unlearn. So long story short, I'm a DA type as well and I'm in therapy because I want to work on these things but I know it's something that I can't do alone.

[@HustleHabit]

@@hannahschroeder922 You should be proud.

[@comicswhore1901]

How do I handle being with a guy who’s either FA or DA? We have been talking since the holidays daily; he messaged me daily to the point I felt he was clingy (morning to night) a month before we even met. We went on dates; we still talk usually everyday but he isn’t jumping to see me as often; once a week is typical when I’d like to see him 2-3 times a week. It’s been 6 weeks we’ve been dating; we both lightly talked about how we are only dating each other but I was too scared to ask if we should delete our online dating profiles/ask if we’re bf/gf. I don’t feel emotionally secure in this situation; I don’t need to see him all of the time but I am scared to invest too much time in this. Can this work?

[@violetsky__7649]

I told my da that I want to see other people before he decides to become exclusive. I pointed stuff out he should work on and even gave him resources for therapy. He says he doesn’t want to become exclusive before he can change his ways. He said he was fine with me seeing other people…

[@81evadavis]

Are you doing one on one coaching?

[@AnaCastro-ko4lb]

Hi mam, how can I contact you I have many questions about DA partner

[@nopeacewithoutjustice6133]

Will you talk about attachment mirror in twin flames?

[@edenm6864]

What happens if the DA doesn't make it through the struggle phase and breaks up with you? If they have moved into a new relationship do I then also move on?

[@mayur1397]

If they have moved onto another relationship, wish their new victim well and put yourself out there to get over the DA.

[@Kimberlyelayyne]

I have broken up with my DA ex boyfriend for 2 weeks now. He was on and off with me often. 2 weeks ago I broke up with him because I had no idea how to cope and was wanting to show me he cared. (I'm anxious attachment and didn't realize he was avoidant) . I apologized and said I wanted him back. He said he just wanted to be friends. As of the last 2 weeks, we went to breakfast and then I asked him if he ever wanted to go on a date.🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ and he said hesitantly we could try. I left him alone and he messaged me yesterday he got me a gift he thought I would like. I responded positively and thanked him and havent heard back. I'm not sure how to navigate this. Do I wait till he contacts me? Or keep trying to see him? This is so much to figure out lol. We dated 3 months and I truly truly care for him. If anyone has any similar experiences or advice...I'd love that! Thank you for reading this.

[@Kimberlyelayyne]

@@Paarthurnaxdova thank you so much for your reply!!!!

[@nataliemoreno3863]

Kimberly Elayyne yes give them their space they will talk when they are ready. I feel your pain girl I’ve been there with my DA boyfriend. This time is crucial for them to cope their way. What 7 days is to us is only 24 hours to them sometimes. Just keep doing you and he will reach out if it’s meant to be.

[@Kimberlyelayyne]

@@nataliemoreno3863 I am so grateful for you!!! He came back and we are back together. He is quiet and doesnt like talking about things, I don't know how to bring it up lol. Your story inspires me to hang in there!! Thank you for replying to me.

[@nataliemoreno3863]

Kimberly Elayyne no problem! Anytime! Good luck and just remember to communicate rationally, and don’t pressure him. Give him time to feel more open and comfortable and show him you are there to hear him without judgement or taking things personally. But definitely don’t forget to communicate, if you avoid communication something will blow up eventually... over time try to introduce him to these videos and see if he’s willing to explore it, Good luck to you both :)

[@emotophobiccdd8006]

@@Paarthurnaxdova does your bf ever leave comments? ABUSE aside...I reckon I learn just as much from reading the comments as I do watching the vids. I'm most curious to know WHY DA's never comment. I feel like the only male DA on KZbin, EVER! Apparently we're the worst people on earth, because we take NO interest in being here. Only from the moment we get here...again and again and again all we get is incentive not to bother being here. I suspect that most do themselves favor and don't even read the comments, let alone contribute. More's the pity!

[@christinamoore4112]

I need help, i am working on me and my attachment style. I believe i am an anxious dismissive avoidant loving a DA for the past 14 yrs. my DA recently became a grandfather and has shutdown and shut me out. He told me he is going through something. Seems that all communication is lost. I want to call but i am to anxious to actually do so in fear that i may be bothering him. I have tried to lovingly express my feelings only to be left to feel rejected. So i stopped trying. I know he loves his space but i am fearful that i am not enough for him as my efforts to nurture and live him r rejected.

[@gwendolynn7314]

Sounds like you're a fearful avoidant? Which is a combination between the anxious and the dismissive avoidance.

[@wildangel4452]

Showing your ads on your own videos? What's up KZbin?! Stop playing

[@emotophobiccdd8006]

Yeah, great point. So how many high quality, ad free KZbin videos have you made purely of the goodness of your own heart? Are you offering to pay her bills?

[@wildangel4452]

@@emotophobiccdd8006 ermmm i meant her very own ad was advertised before this video played. Usually it's a similar channel's ad. Got it? 🙄

[@emotophobiccdd8006]

@@wildangel4452 I never saw an ad

[@dickyarjuna1566]

Boomers

[@PaigeSquared]

Are we looking at battling CEN with every single DA? What are the specific differences between the DA power struggle phase and emotional abandonment? I don't understand why, if i like him, and he likes me, we aren't getting along. He wont admit he likes me, as soon as he suspects I'm upset with him. He's doing most things right, except for no communication, he just wont give me the words. I explained that ive been taken advantage of, and that i needed the words to believe the intent of the actions. Definitely regressed. We were much closer as friends.

[@josiecalder]

I believe I avoidant in a way but don't know wat else ? I am committed tho, I just pull away sometimes bc Iget hurt bc I was abused in my last relationship , and I think he is anxious , just finding you now , xo ♥

[@cristinaalvarez6822]

How long does it take a DA to get to the bliss stage? I've been involved with a DA for 8 yrs

[@theguy4615]

Most never get there. I did the push pull for 20 years. Either accept that's all you'll ever get from them or move on and save yourself the pain and trauma of continuing with that person.

[@veeni9]

I have done the quiz and would like to learn more on my specific attachment style with my relationships, how can I go about this? Can I email?

[@veeni9]

I have a few questions to why some of is end up with avoidant partners and in the quiz, it breaks down to 4 parts and how do you decipher your type?

[@gisoo_rs6443]

Is there a way i can get like a session with her alone?

[@Kareena1988]

One word: aaaaaaaaaa... Guys...just run

[@minusstage3]

Please, why do you call mental concepts tools? Because once you utilize a real tool, it's noticed the concept collapses almost immediately.

[@michellefalco9773]

which style is the ones who flal fast they pull u in and get close fall for you and then they run for the hills!

[@kimberlylenderts31]

Dismissive Avoidant.

[@michellefalco9773]

@@kimberlylenderts31 oh oh I dismisves dont even get close or flal in love-whats difference bet dismisive and fearful?

[@emotophobiccdd8006]

ANY insecurely attached person!

[@gwendolynn7314]

@@emotophobiccdd8006 both of the avoidants but not the anxious.

[@zethuhlubi2065]

I took the quiz and scored highest for DA(29%)and secure(29%) I’m kind of surprised

[@gebronthomasson6960]

My DA (ex) has never been to the Stability stage sadly so never has experienced it..

[@feryalaligauhar3905]

Is it possible for a man whose mother had a history of violent behaviour and who eventually murdered her husbsnd to love a woman instead of fearing her? I am in a relationship with such a man and just feel that I will always be judged as a potentially destructive force. I tried my best to allay his fears but he keeps a distant, doesn't want any intimacy, keeps in touch occasionally...am I being completely naive to imagine that when he said he loved me he meant it?

[@austinnguyen9107]

Is he making an effort to understand and overcome his traumas? Otherwise ticking time bomb???

[@natashahobbs3651]

Just an FYI he’s probably not a Dismissive Avoidant, but a Fearful Avoidant (Aka Disorganized)

[@natashahobbs3651]

And he probably does love you, he just doesn’t know how to trust... for a good reason it seems. Damn!

[@DELIVERANCE-TODAY]

I'm Anxious Attachment, and in retrospect my best relationships were with other Anxious Attachments....your thoughts?

[@urfavweapon719]

Like recognizes like, maybe? I’m hoping to seek out another anxious attached partner next time around, lol.

[@DELIVERANCE-TODAY]

@@urfavweapon719 I think we're more likely to at least get our needs met with someone who desires the same as us, as long as we set boundaries and communicate what will or will not work, we may be better off. I was potentially involved with a DA for a few weeks.....and felt drained! Let down after let down just doesn't work well with us.

[@urfavweapon719]

BIBLE READER cheers to recognizing your wants and needs being unmet. Keep moving forward.

[@Datavinc]

Yes, it is true. But I don't know why I love avoidant more, why I choose problem🤣

[@gwendolynn7314]

It'd be best if you became a secure attachment style before you dated so you can date another is secure attachment. I used to be anxious attachment but I cured myself by watching these videos over and over and over and over again. .. and I even bought the books. All of which helped rewire my brain.

[@chasesebastian3064]

7 great year relationship with a DA and I told her daughter that I was thinking about buying her a ring two months later she moved out and blocked me out of her life.

[@downhomegirl5]

Wow. Damaged people damage people, that's sad. Did she know she was a dismissive avoidant? Was she doing any work? I don't think I will ever find anyone that comes close to the 2 year friendship with a month of dates, I had. We had a over the top connection & almost on every platform. If he had to see my sexy ass in person, I know he would choke. He ghosted me 3 strikes your out. If I don't change him by standing up for my self worth, no one will.

[@chasesebastian3064]

Truth Seeker just remember that you can’t change anyone.

[@MM-yy9us]

@@chasesebastian3064 people can only change themselves... this is coming from a DA. Also im sorry for your pain, breakups are hard!

[@johnholmes6741]

Is the daughter hot?

[@lolawhyte8911]

@@johnholmes6741 bahahaha! Honestly. When a situation sucks so bad all you can do is joke

[@tofg8398]

Thais, please put your microphone away from you, sometimes it's just too bassy and it's very hard to hear what you're saying. Your videos are very informative and i wish to catch everything you're saying

[@Lily59265]

TY TY I think about that we could have a primary and secondary attachment style. #Self Worth #Self Care #Self Love #Infinite Possibilities #Angel 👼 Number# 7070

[@prm2223]

You are so attractive!!

[@SK-no2pp]

Who here has a healthy relationship with a DA? Whose DA opened up to them fully? 😳

[@TheSkylarKings]

i do & he’s been working on it, but i don’t expect him to open up fully right away.

[@SK-no2pp]

Sage lucky you! That’s great to know. Mines is very hot and cold... i want to tell him I need consistent communication without feeling like I am attacking him

[@TheSkylarKings]

i approached mine with the school of life’s videos on attachment theory & they did a pretty good job at engaging him. i first apologized to him for all of them ways i might have been triggering him to act DA. i then asked him to open up more with the promise that i’d try to do better as well. if you haven’t watched the school of life’s videos i’d highly recommend. especially if you’re an anxious attachment like me!

[@sshuteandrew]

Mine only opened up in the honeymoon phase- then he broke up w me and has been shut down, depressed and feeling hopeless for 2.5 years.

[@SK-no2pp]

Summer that’s a long time. Don’t stay stuck on one person for that long. He has to actively work on his issues

[@kellypennington6141]

HUH? 6 months before deciding to be exclusive? Who wants to spend 6 whole months on someone, before deciding to be exclusive? Dating in this day and age is mind boggling to me. I’m pretty sure I’m a DA, and I’m not putting my heart and soul and being vulnerable to anyone that I’m not exclusive with, and who’s entertaining other women at the same time. Absolutely not. Lol

[@gregcopeland3081]

She speaks way too fast to comprehend thoughtfully

[@Stawc22]

I love her videos but found the same thing. I now play her videos back at .75 the speed! 👌

[@carolinelaronda4523]

I play them even faster 😆

[@bridathomus4798]

DA Vs Narcissist ?

[@theraven1850]

Best advice is to find a secure partner. There is no hope for you, being with a DA.

[@Daimo83]

DA who has never made it past the "power struggle phase" 😭

[@mismiserables]

Ugh...long term relationships sound like a lot of work lol

[@ladennayoung2939]

Smh! Some people shouldn't be in a relationship at all if they feel that way.

[@addwasabitomycoffee5811]

@@ladennayoung2939 Eh, no. It's such a rude way to say it. Many people are not made for long term. It's alright. It's not like all relationships ends up in long-term commitments anyway. As long as they're not leading those people on, who are clearly looking for a long term relationship, short term relationships are great too.

[@dawnemile7499]

The relationship seems to be more important than the partner after a while. What for?

[@spannycat2]

I agree but I'm a fearful avoidant. I do want a partner that will live me forever. But I also don't want to put in that work. APs want their partner to live then forever and are willing to put in the work. DAs don't care if their partner will love then forever and they are not willing to put in the work

[@fionaheat718]

It’s not worth it

[@TheMrnobbynorris]

If AP’s and DA’s tend to be attracted to each other but also trigger each other. Does the AP working on themselves to be more secure also go against them making them less AP and therefore less attractive to the DA? (Assuming the DA won’t acknowledge attachment styles and isn’t working on themselves)?

[@gwendolynn7314]

I went from an AP to a secure attachment style and my DA hasn't come around.. I did say he was it DA, and he didn't appreciate that.

[@cangrejitamiry]

Yes I detected attachment styles and grew more secure and the DA lost interest and stopped pursuing

[@minusstage3]

Exactly what type of people social security disability reviews are structured to crush. Telling. And bless you

[@TheLittleChariot]

Avoidant people see. so selfish and exhausting... Are they ever enjoyable to be with at all or is it just such a relief when they finally decide to give that people are shocked into feeling good momentarily? why does it also seem like this folks are hardly trying to improve their damages... Yikes. It sounds so much I just think avoiding the avoidant people might be the best choice anyone could make. Sorry to any avoidant ppl reading but all of these videos describing the experience and what to expect sound like a complete nightmare

[@jeffp7776]

I think your knowledge is incredible you really know this stuff. But the more I watch the more I see that you REALLY need to script this information and follow it. You get so excited (which is great) but it give the presentation a feel of disorganization. I had such high hopes for the particular video but I feel like it was all over the place.

[@AW-vi3tu]

Yes, she is very knowledgeable but her videos, especially this one, are too hard follow.

[@emotophobiccdd8006]

I thought it was easy to follow