What to do about someone who is mean to you but nice to others

[@mariewilliams194]

I think these mean people love to show off and act like they are better than people to make them selves feel important

[@malinawilliams7623]

Hi I have the same last name as you. 💖💕

[@Loverboy19691]

@@malinawilliams7623 Williams is a common name, like Jones, especially in Wales .

[@malinawilliams7623]

@@Loverboy19691 that's good to know.T_T

[@funnymangetazed]

Yes, that's true.

[@pegasus5148]

I believe they are mean towards you because they are envious of you.... Especially if you've never done anything to them. It is all a trick to make you feel bad about yourself. That is their goal... to bring you down.

[@mindset_olympics2]

Sad tactic…

[@JyoSco007]

That's what I've lived for 6th to 10th std of my school life.

[@andream6079]

This kind of behaviour is bullying. Disgusting behaviour which, in my experience hasn't stopped, even though I do ignore & don't react at all.

[@helenagedie8259]

Andrea M this is not bullying at all

[@andream6079]

Helen Agedie. Yes it is.

[@studiolefrak5518]

Yes, it's bullying.

[@qaisershahzad2188]

Depends on the person. If the behaviour is becoming too much i would just question it. Just practice what u r gonna say before you say it.

[@jomama5186]

You are 100% right.

[@BebeJane19]

I think it may be a power thing. People like this act this way because they don't feel powerful enough in some aspects of their life, and when they act this way toward you and see that they are able to get to you/ control you (probably because they detect some sort of weakness in you and they latch onto it), it makes them feel powerful. They're heartless, mean-spirited assholes who are not going to get far in life, because people who will get far in life don't need to act this way in order to feel powerful. Marie, I think your advice on how to deal with them is spot-on. I've dealt with a coworker like this - she'd never make mean or nasty comments to me, but she does things such as making me feel excluded in meetings - when she talks, she would avoid eye contact with me, even if she's talking about something that I am working on as well. At first, it really got to me. I don't know what I did wrong and it really bothered me. I even spoke with her about it and she feigns ignorance. Now, after years in the workplace, I start to see people like her for who they really are. And I'm not even angry anymore, I just feel pity for them that they need to act that way. You're absolutely right. It's not you, it's them. You keep doing you and let the assholes fall apart on their own.

[@violet482]

Do you know 2hy they act that way b3caus3 im going through a similar situation i know she said iy does not matter but i want.to kno2 why do i do t take it too personal

[@sagittariansage_2271]

@@violet482 you take it personally because it feels personal. They are predators and do a great of preying when they come across good hearted ppl who are kind and have Light in them and may be a little naive at times. But jane put it very well. These pll wont go far in life. They cant until they come into a level of self awareness and change their toxic behavior. YOU will go far. Im dealing with a manipulative chick now who is toxic woth me but everybody else thinks shes so sweet and they just love her. Its so fucking nerve rackomg i know. But one thing u MUST remember is NEVER let them see u sweat or give a negative reaction to them!! They will latch onto u and use it against u bc they know theyve gotten to u at that point. Just excuse urself from their presence, dont speak with them unless u must and keep it polite and short and do ur best to keep a smile, smirk on ur face when dealing with them. Peace be with you brother and sister✊😇✌

[@violet482]

@@sagittariansage_2271 ok thank you anf i hope thr situation with thats chick gets sorted out😘

[@samanthakeen8297]

great comment!! i love your view on that!

[@thomas-zs2jm]

It seems like they're trying to get somewhere in life and you're a stepping stone for them to achieve it.

[@jaynehathaway3717]

I wish I'd had this video to play to myself for the last 30 years...the thing about not sharing personal information is important, because they just use it to attack/badmouth you

[@mariedubuque]

Jayne, thank you so much for your kind words.

[@Chamillion84]

You're spot on on this one as well Marie. They are insecure, jealous and attention seeking.

[@tomnjerry20]

I attended a neighborhood party today. A lady who had come home few weeks ago being friendly and all.....totally ignored me today. She had a hateful look for me in her eyes. I have no idea what I did to her. I am a magnet to such crazy people. I truly don't know how to react.

[@aggiesart6]

envious and jealous is poison to people. I find it difficult to deal with these people. I just don't react and give no energy.

[@FlashDance002]

I dont know how i get such people either

[@lindseyhebert5568]

I deal with that too much it upsets me people don’t know how sensitive I am and I don’t know why I am scared to treat others rude back even I try to be very nice and kind everybody gets attention but me

[@ushmaasher]

I'm sad that I found your channel so late because 16 year old me really needed this! However I'm glad I found it now. I'm gonna binge watch all your videos

[@ices3456]

Old at 16 lol!!!

[@anabellaaiyanna4253]

ISIS DE JESUS sometimes people have a mother figure to help them figure these things out at a younger age. Some of us are either raised by narcissist or just don’t have their mom around, so we have to figure it out on our own. And in these cases, we feel a little late than others when we find what helps us cope with people and help us navigate our own feelings around bullies.

[@upstatenewyork]

It’s their insecurity but their insecurity causes suffering for you.

[@orpat2757]

I really wish I saw this video earlier. A couple of years ago I hung out regularly with a group of friends and one of these girls was so mean to me. Yet she was super nice to everybody else. I just couldn't understand why! It made me so angry and confused. I even started to think that I was crazy. Like I was the bully, not her. 'Cause, why would everyone else think she is so nice? Thanks for uploading this!

[@notjord4n]

Same

[@fineneighborhood]

Orpa, is that a picture of you? If so, you must have difficulty here and there making friends...jealousy because of your looks. It's unfortunately very common for women to compete with each other not just with looks but with everything. I don't know if men do that too. Rather than trying to lessen the unintended threat of looks or intelligence, it's best to find people with confidence who would welcome you as a friend.

[@tinawhite2560]

Orpa T From look at ur picture. I bet u where pretty of all other girlfriend.I been threw samething.

[@jasmineabdelmalek2544]

Same and I planed to tell her she is mean but ever time I didn’t have the guts then she insults me and everyone laughs at me which is soo sad she is ok when she is talking to everyone but separate she is mean to me

[@transacumen5172]

@@fineneighborhood men do it way more then women. It’s sickening!

[@melindamcclain835]

My narc mom was like this. She treated me like a stepchild and not her biological daughter. She treated everyone else like gold but she treated me like dirt. She is gone now! Thank God!

[@gingerisevil02]

I notice being cold DOES help! There is this creepy security guard at my Walmart. He doesn't work every night, but he is there simply there to check your receipt when you leave, and his only commentary should be "have a nice day." Well, and he only does this to me, he would ask personal questions, like "are you upset or in a bad mood or having a bad day?" Just because I wasn't smiling. I felt off guard and so I passively said "I'm tired." Next time I saw him, I would try and put on a happy demeanor. He asked me if I was tired, again. Then the next time, told me I should get more sleep. Just being really unprofessional and taunting. I would look down whenever I saw him. I finally got fed up, and I had a list of comebacks from friends. Things like "it's so funny how you can't do the simple task of checking off of a damn receipt." I was ready to rip at him, I approached him, looking straight at him instead of shying. He asked me how I was and I said "fine." In a cold, sharp, even tone. He started to say "you look..." then stopped and said "have a nice day." He still makes me nervous but I try not to shrink away. I find ignoring and walking away helps too.

[@shan4883]

Men like that are just insecure. They need to pause for a second that we are all human beings, not walking around with a God-damn smile on our faces 24/7! We all have personal lives and problems we deal with. They make it about them when it has nothing to do with them! What if you just went to a funeral that day and it was someone that passed away close to you, I would smack him if he said that I look mad, or in a bad mood. A lot of insecure guys have thought that way about me too if I pass by them and not smile when I'm tired. I struggle with anemia, which most people don't know about either and work late nights, so it can become very draining after I get off work and I don't want to be around anyone at all. Some guys has taken that personally as I bike pass them, they literally chase after me! I'm like "I'm like what the hell?" I've called the cops many times on people like that and there were guys that were rejected by me and they are just plain mean afterwards! They don't just ask me how things are going... they have to just hurt me! If someone hurts you, they don't care at all about themselves, sadly and I did with him. He once did care about me too until his friends got too involved and he was this nice guy before they did. Now, he just avoids going out near my building and had seen him tonight for the first time in a month with his friend and they think I'm always watching for them, so they laugh about it. I watch behind a window like anyone does and I glare back at them and ignore them afterwards. Why do they think its ok tell me what to do? I'm not allowed to look out the window? Why are they so insecure? I started to look at them differently now. I do watch out for them so I can see how he's doing. I remember how hurt he was and I couldn't ask how he was doing from his friends being too much around him. Sadly, he punishes me without getting to know me and will never know that I'm in a long distance relationship thats been hard for me, which is why I rejected him. He always wondered why.. but he never got an answer. He'll never know if he doesnt ask me.

[@hereisayana8207]

Say mind your business about how I look

[@Bev_van_goth]

This is good because I deal with this coworker who's old enough to be my mom and she's really nasty. I watched her bully a young coworker and when that coworker left she started targeting me. We've already talked about her attitude like 3 times and it's still the same. I'm just to the point where I don't talk to her anymore because it's just not my cup of tea. I'm glad you have this video because it shows that my actions are doing nothing but to protect myself. Sadly, I do still work with her but I definitely see that she has a problem and not me. I been through way too much in my lifetime to treat anyone low. so thank you

[@666needles420]

I feel the same way at work but the difference is is that I work with someone who doesn’t speak English fluently but I am for some reason really good at understanding and listening and have no problem understanding them with the accent. I see others make fun of him and he just sits there in bliss not knowing what is going on around him and it makes me feel sick. When I try tell others about this they think .. oh because you are a woman you feel this when I’m fact it has nothing to do with that! Just evil personalities who indulge in the fact that they can say and do as they please and it is no use to try to defend because I will be caught in the crossfire

[@MultiAarcher]

I think your one of the people that like helping people and coming up with new solutions I think your so adorable. You seem to be kinda like a Doctor

[@paigethorpe8202]

Austin Archer why friends be mean to you and call you name say like u are fat and I am go to get your boyfriend to like her and her name is irea

[@Ayse-wf9es]

I see such people as just being fake and that means I can't trust them. If I am confident that I've done nothing wrong to them and they still act like a jerk toward me and are the sweetest to others...........then I see even their sweetness to them as fake as well. A genuinely nice person will not treat you this way if you've never wronged them.

[@vetiverose128]

Oh yes, I've noticed this too. It's sad that the people whom they're sweet to actually fall for their "kindness" not realizing that it's all a facade.

[@deborahgitto1614]

This made me feel so much better. I have been dealing with someone like this. I’ve starting reacting and she got much worse when she saw she was getting to me. Great advice!

[@phurian_6560]

For me, I've been watching a lot of psychological videos ever since I graduated high school, and I recommend that you guys do the same, not to be an ass, but to better your chances in the social hierarchy. From what I've learned, your reaction to anything dictates your social status, you can be the ugliest person in the room and still garner the respect of everyone based on behavior. You don't have to be prince or princess charming to get respect, but you do need to be confident, loosen yourself up a little, it's okay to be firm or serious, but if you're like that all the time, the person who's messing with you can use that against you. To put it simply, you can A. Not give them a reaction and ignore them, or B. Hop on their comment and hit them back with something just as mean, in a playful, joking way. Don't be afraid to make eye contact either, or give pause for yourself to think. I'm still a bit new to this but I've applied it to my life and I feel like I'm already growing up, you should do the same.

[@federicovazquez9011]

My sister treats me like this at home. When we visit family or vice versa, she treats them like they’re golden but me, I am verbally abused and none of my family is aware of that.

[@aegisreflector1239]

You have to slowly start distancing yourself from them. Don't do it to sudden so that they don't suspect back.

[@mrlonely1811]

My cousin is the one who bullys me but everyone one he is a innocent person

[@TherealEricaEarl]

😱

[@doggiesimmer7336]

This video helped a lot. A girl that went to my school and then left is being really mean to me. And she keeps saying she is getting bullied by me. She actually lied and said I have dyslexia and people said that I am really stupid and that I should go to another school. She also steals my lunch and I would be starving thro out the day. This is so helpful. I’m taking your advice. 😃😃

[@marlenemcmurtry2889]

You just don't know how much this video means to me. I have the sister-in-law from Hell. She makes me a nervous wreck. Comes in my house and goes from room to room looking to see if it"s clean. Allows making snide remarks. My husband never says a word when she's doing that. She even told me my husband could of chosen a better wife. So now I have been locking all the bedroom doors. She asked why. I told her no one needs to be in there. My things are in there. That pissed her off. Which made me happy. I will be using your technique. I might mess up once or twice. But I will try harder when I do. Thanks again.

[@shan4883]

She needs to work on her self esteem and control issues, which is to due with low confidence. My boyfriends brother is the same way when it comes to his house and he worries too damn much that it had affected me whenever I'm around anyone like that. I can't relax like I use to do and I use to be this very calm person, now I'm anxious and worry too much about little things. I blame people who do that to others.

[@hereisayana8207]

I would have told her that I wish I had a different sister in law, and it's none of her business what's in the rooms and she doesn't belong in there. Also I wouldn't allow her in my home anymore after disrespecting me

[@latitaparnell321]

I experienced this. The lady has stage four stomach cancer last I was told. Everybody knew how she bullied so bad. So a lady that worked with us thought to call me and tell me. Now I wasn’t delighted to know. The person that witness her bullying towards me. Thought that that would be something I’d want to know. So I immediately pray for her because I was tempted to have a rejoicing thought. This was years ago. The lady calling me confirmed that everyone saw it and knew this woman was bullying me. Now that angered me because they were all silent witnesses.

[@5winder]

I don't smile at them... I grimace. Show them your fighting spirit, and the bullies back off.

[@BeautifulDreamerK]

5winder thanks for the advice. I think I'll try that 😀

[@mariedubuque]

marina, Gretel is right. She is the bully and looking for a target. I think these types search for kind, warm people who have a positive outlook on life, just so they can try and bring them down. Don't allow her to do that! Remember you can't control her, but you can control your reaction to her.

[@GS-st9ns]

I love how clear and simple your directions are to follow. when I was a kid this happened to me even now it happens. I'm cordial not friendly oh, and I feed those people with a long spoon. I love your advice

[@Hilux244]

In all likelihood this lady envied you. And in all likelihood once again, she did not even know that it was envy that was eating her up. That is one nasty creature to be sure.

[@Ritaisthebestgramdma]

Sorry, have to disagree with you . It appears some of these people have been blessed with a permanent shield of indestructibility and others never get wise to their mean ways. At some point, you need to put your foot down and say No More. I have cut off toxic cruel people who are nice to others were mean to me. No more left handed compliments, social slights or being the target of pranks (OMG, can't you take a joke?? I was ONLY kidding). This is bullying. Kids get it, teens get it, adults get it. I'm over it.

[@angiejohnsson877]

me too I hate they say kidding I hope such people will burn in hell n they will enjoy tehir jokes there in flames heh

[@meking6327]

I agree with you. I am still waiting for a few people to "get it" . But the woman I am thinking about who has given so much toxicity to my life has a great skill. . Well than again she was in sales and public relations for years, so the woman knows how to manipulate others quite well. However, having witnessed her talking behind others backs and mine as well as other deeds, I know better. Because some others do not see her without that mask, I now find that over the years, I am slipping away from those that circle her. It used to hurt, but as years pass, not as much.

[@danielbryan1026]

MakeUpDetective007 noooooo

[@angiejohnsson877]

why no I agree with MakeUpDetective007 such people suck the most and they are annoyin losers bullies, all bullies suck, are you advocate of devils Daniel Bryan ???? get over yourself ?

[@airahfuji]

Mary King need to find a better circle

[@desativado9332]

I've had some at my work today and you absolutely helped me out. I trully tend to react and be as nasty but outside I am kind and equilibrated. Thank you.

[@mariedubuque]

Lucas, so glad I could help! Makes my day.

[@sofijajakovljevic7207]

Thank you so so so much This helped me a lot I had 3 friends from my class,and one day,for no reason they started to ignore me,make fun of me,talk nasty stuff about me about things that I say,do... They were so nice to everyone else and everyone loved them But I was standing there like W H Y Only I know what they are really like,they are fake to everyone I don't talk to them anymore,I moved on,it was hard but your videos really helped me thank you so much❤

[@steviechan139]

I once tried the smile-and-be-polite-but-cold technique when my stepmom was in one of her moods. Let's just say my dad later told me I should not come out of my room. :P

[@kcc9249]

You have a good sense of humor and expression while delivering your topics. Keep it up, great job!

[@amierahoney]

Thank you so much ! I love your channel, your videos helped me a lot to get through my life. But my problem now is, I don't have confidence in myself and im so shy. I feel like people always gonna judge me for what im wearing,doing and so on. I just feel insecure. I really hope you can help me solving my problem.

[@mariedubuque]

Marisa, you have to talk to your parents...because this can not continue. Tell them how you don't feel safe. Your home should be your sanctuary...and clearly it is not.

[@marisaliu6948]

Oh okay they did talk to him about it yes, he finally left for something, I wish he would never come back

[@thecat47]

+Marie Dubuque hey marie, i have a problem with someone and i cant solve it i hope you read this and help me, so there is this guy in school who likes everyone and hates me sooo bad and i cant figure out the reason, i tried to ignore him but he wont leave me alone and he always makes sarcastic jokes about me, im a kind person and i dont know how to counter his sarcasm i dont know how to like say bad words or something like that and he is some serious cold person and i mean it he is like a freezer he is soooooo cold and actually there is another guy who does the same to me but he isnt cold, but the fact is in the very beginning of the year we used to always sit with each other in the break, i dont have friends to back me up or anything like that, and in the beginning of the year they both were good guys they were kinda kind but some how they turned.

[@IwasBlueb4]

thecat....Im so so sorry, you are going through this, and it sounds like youre at a very tender age....It could be that he is actually attracted to you....... Try not to go down to his level....You might try asking him what his point is.....Or "why would you want to say that? What are you trying to achieve? You could even say, in an almost business like tone " I think youre a good person, deep down.. I would really appreciate it, if you stopped saying these things to me." and leave it at that..... He might be so surprized that you or anyone think of him as a good person, so he may well try to live up to that !!! ... If he continues, simply walk away with your head held high.... You are not running away out of fear, you are simply removing yourself from company you do not wish to frequent ! He will soon get the message.....

[@thecat47]

Evy Courtney im 15 and a boy by the way, if i asked him any of these he will make fun of them, he has no point but he likes annoying people, he also doesnt care what others think of him, he used to be my friend but then he changed for no reason, and im not a person who can fight back or say stuff back and the worst thing i hate about my self is that im very shy.

[@IwasBlueb4]

Oh, Im sorry for addressing you as a girl.....Yes, 15 is indeed a very tender age, and its so hard when one is shy....You will probably find, that as you grow older, your shyness will lessen.....Getting back to the boy who "doesnt care what ppl think" Hmmm.....I wouldnt be so sure of that...I think we ALL care, deep down....to a greater or lesser degree....Maybe he thinks so badly of himself and feels so deprived of attention (maybe one of his parents, or both, tell him what a bad boy he is) that he tries to do anything to get that attention, for which he is starving,.....and that can include negative attention.....If you totally ignore anything he says to you, and just keep walking away, as if u hadnt even heard, he will soon get bored, cos he wont be getting any reaction from you..... I wish you all the VERY best, Cat....Thank you so much for sharing your experience with me.... Hugs

[@fearofvictoria7855]

Today I felt so crappy because one of my good friends said something that made me feel crappy and ruined my whole day. I been watching videos and I found yours which really helped me so much. I really wanted to be mean back but as in my school they say treat others how you wanted to be treated I just think she was not care, every time some one say something to me that is mean will ruin my day one crappy little sentense ruined my day

[@jackiepetrosky4611]

great advice, thank you...this part of life is tough but REAL; relieving to know that others have experienced this too; we can feel isolated in this type of situation!

[@cecilliapeters5728]

Marie, you are so like able from what videos Ive seen thus far, and because of your sweet counsel to others, I would like to share this nice counsel that helps me to benefit you also. Put on the whole armor of God (scripture) "and the shield of faith shall quench all the firey darts of the wicked."

[@kaikopink7999]

Usually I would just pretend they don’t exist I cut rude mean people from the root. They are not worthy of my time nor kindness.

[@coveredbynobantu6082]

Wow the timing of this video!!! I decided to cut all ties with my meanie. 😏

[@azeratic2501]

i did too, it was 2 of my "friends". I confronted them and got rid of all communication with them. its nice bc i dont hear "i hope you die" every day

[@daisysuperflower2113]

Love love your videos they are the bomb I remember stumbling upon them before but then forgot about it and happened to stumble upon them again and so glad I did. Love u the way u talk and point of view makes sooo much sense

[@ilovetruffles99]

omg, I love you. You're like my own pocket encourager. Thank you so much!!!

[@eloise-charlie]

i was friends with her but she suddenly acted cold to me and only talked to me when she wanted to know something. i only see her online or at the train station now but she pushes in front of me and brags online. it hurts. thank you for this advice; it has helped a lot

[@shadiasimpson8174]

I love how you don't overly talk your messages leave impact at the end

[@happypotato1597]

This helped so much, I have a BEST FRIEND..and she used to be so nice to me but when we went to middle school, she started treating me like I was nothing😔 She gives me attitude till now..this rlly helped, thank you!!

[@FieryFlamingFajitas]

A female manager I work for is like this. She keeps blaming me when something is not done correctly, even though some of these things were done by her and I have pointed that out to her. Over time, I have gotten a lot better at my job and very rarely makes mistakes but she is still the same. She is really condescending and talks down to me and always acts really irritated when we have to work together, but then as soon as someone else comes along she is super nice, charming, acts like their best friend and I always end up feeling like she's gaslighting me or playing mind games. All I can do is limit the time I'm around her and stay out of her way because she's made it really clear through her behavior that I'm her biggest enemy, even though I haven't done anything to her

[@anabellaaiyanna4253]

Hey thank you for making this video, I’m super duper sensitive and I have problems with people pleasing. I’ll go out of my way to try to be extra nice if they don’t like me. But I end up getting drained because I get no where and I end up crying my eyes out. I have no idea why I do this. ☹️

[@patriciacifra1903]

Hi Marie. Thanks for your advice. I was feeling extremely low and your words really helped.

[@mariedubuque]

Patricia, so glad I could help. Your kind words made my day!

[@veronicahaney3145]

I kind of do need to know, because it's happening quite frequently. I had begun to think that maybe there's some sort of wound in me that's bringing out the "poison" in others? It's starting to really get to me. It's like there's this negative cycle or pattern that I can't figure out how to leave! The past 2 years I've been doing a lot of emotional, spiritual, and psychological healing work and reflection. I had been suffering with a lot of emotional flashbacks (CPTSD,) but other than that I've found that I give too much and am too nice when compared to the majority of the local population.

[@aprilmae137]

I know these things, but I really needed a reminder today. Thank you! :)

[@surj93]

Hey Marie, your videos are awesome and its great to have someone to look to for this advice. You don't get it too often from others.

[@walkinginfaith6127]

Wow! That's amazing, this video was made for me to hear , exactly what needed to hear , the video was made 8 years ago , thats even more amazing , its 2021 TY😊 Bless u, thank you Lord for having me hear this today

[@olivetree5670]

Marie this is really wise advice that you are sharing with us. I usually dont find others' advice very helpful but yours really got me. Thank you so much for sharing, this was very valuable 4 minutes watching your video. Thank you.

[@riggsbr1]

Hmm.....I have tried the being nice / nicer approach and it just prompts more confrontations/ verbal attacks from one of my supervisors .....

[@nreynolds75243]

It doesn't work. Been there, done that. They just become even more nastier. The way I handle these people is journal every detail and record what's going on and present it to HR. If HR doesn't take care of it, then I take legal action.

[@avisbro]

To fight fire with fire is existing on the same level of misery they exist on.

[@nreynolds75243]

I have had this happen to me numerous times over the years. You ignore it and the bullies just increase the bullying until I bite their heads off! Then they are looking as if you did something to them. These are so called grown people. I've been bullied because of my religion and religious beliefs that I don't automatically share until someone asks me why I don't do this or that, or I was being bullied because of my work ethic (can you believe this?)....just because I was concerned about getting my work done properly, then I've been bullied within religious congregations because I was quiet or nice and thought they could just covertly bully me and get away with it, or I've been bullied because of physical appearance - I don't look my age or I'm thin or because of the way I dress and even at one point because I was a single mother who owned a home and once I married I had single females bully me because now I was married. What's so killing about it, I'm not thinking any of this stuff, just going about my way. I even had a woman tell me she thought of me as a sister until she found out my age and that I had a daughter that's in her 20's. She then said now I don't like you and jealous. Can you imagine???? The only thing I applaud this woman on is that she was honest. Others will just bully you and make snide remarks because of their insecurities. There are so many insecure people...you find them at every turn now. SAD!!!

[@fhatuwanijoycemagonono1527]

This is happening to me right now. At my new workplace there is a lady that started hating me after I stood up to her to refuse her dressing code advice. It turned out she was jealous of my me because she started crying, and shouting that she is fat, she doesn't have clothes and that I get paid more than her. I don't understand where she got info about my pay. Now she is trying by all means to embarrass me in meetings and other work gatherings. I will be trying my best to react your way from now on.

[@preciouspoirot]

Your advice is awesome Marie! You have helped me a lot. I think you have a heart of gold. And you always look great!

[@emmaalvarez1794]

Thank you! I went to a trip to Spain on a tour and everyone was mean with me, I was so sad. I did nothing to them... They left me behind, they would ignore me, say mean things to me, etc... and we are from the same town and it was the second time around going to Europe with them...

[@UncertainAngel]

not always true. I was bullied out of my job by someone like this Mel BUT I have recently found out that the bully did not prosper. She's off earning even less than she was before now. It's not fair that she got away with the bullying (it's true, no higher powers want to deal with bullying, the bully always wins the minute you report it cos they lie, lie, lie and cowards back them up) but karma got her :-)

[@SOM-v4o]

😂. I've had that. They try and choose a weak person. Well, they think it is weak. When what they're doing is actually weak.

[@UncertainAngel]

I wish I had seen this three years ago. I had to leave my job cos I just broke down after someone like this came in at work and did this. More extreme of course but I was not mature enough to realise that it was because I (23 at the time) got the promotion she, 45, had applied for. I mean in hindsight I'm glad of where I am in life now BUT more ppl would be spared a lot of paoin if they just had someone like you to make them realise it's NOT their fault for others bad behaviour. Thank you.

[@sarahassan4232]

I always look to Marie for advice and I always take it on board.Thanks!

[@RichInternationalAir]

@ Marie Dubuque: Liked and subscribed! Thank you for this insight. So much energy is wasted trying to understand the reasons for putting others down. Regardless of why, it boils down to their feeling better about themselves at your expense. I was diagnosed with a type of Cognitive Distortion, and people that puzzle (and frustrate) me generally, are mean and insecure no matter how kind you are to them.

[@mariedubuque]

Well put, thank you!

[@kellygian7237]

Thank you 😊 your so sweet I appreciate this advice it really helps I deliver food to people and many restaurants staff take out there anger by being me to me probably because they can’t to other staff and customers

[@eastbaysf]

Story of my life!!! super mean to me...but everyone else's "mother'...right. You come across like a person they don't like.

[@samanthakeen8297]

my suggested page really does know what i go through 😂 Awesome video!! something I definitely needed to hear!

[@newgodv9624]

I hate these kinds of people and they hate when you say something to them about it.

[@hereisayana8207]

Wow I wouldn't smile at this person like that or act fake with them... I wouldn't even speak to them unless it's work related.... there's no point of saying hello if they are not nice to you !! They will probably disrepect you more if you act smile in their face like that

[@lordalepore]

omg I wish I had found this channel earlier... about some months ago there was this guy in our English class ... and he was a type of person who everyone have problem with him he had many insecurities and so he would try to push other people down in order to make himself feel better . for example he would try to make fun of others like he would save their profile photos in his phone and then he would make fun of them , or like someone makes a mistake and he would repeat it ever and ever again in the group so that he would feel better about himself and he also targeted me many times and it got so hard for me to the point that I really wanted to quit the class cause i really really couldn't focus on the lesson. but fortunately he left and me and my classmates are continuing in peace but I wish I had found his channel earlier because if I knew this methods then I wouldn't have to suffer for months and months and i would just ignore him... but anyway thank you so much for your informative videos at these videos are really helpful for me ... I'm really using these techniques in my life and the outcome is perfect .. I really appreciate it thank you so much.

[@reesiewoods]

You are very calming. I needed this thank you Marie 🥲😁

[@anthonymangino5074]

The best thing to do is ignore that person, don’t try to talk that person and move on. There not your friends.

[@TSM_ch]

Marie thank you so much for your advice its this friend of mine and he treats his friends good but when its him and his friends on me he treats me badly so thank you for your words that mad me feel strong.

[@jaz7977]

I love your advice I always go back to your videos when I need some good advice about dealing with ppl

[@gwendolynwehage6336]

Sometimes I think they keep poking at us when we don't respond, if they can get us to become out of control, then they feel justified for all the other mean things they have done in the past toward us.

[@micxploed]

I'm going through this With my dad. I'm trying to take over the family company. I work with him a lot and he undermines, acts like I annoy him when I ask him a question, just talks down to me like if I'm dumb he has an anger problem and just throws fits for whatever but when somebody else comes around he's smiling at them and talking to them like their friends and then he turns around and just talks down to me. I hate that so much

[@Trendle222]

good advice, im goin through this crap now, thanks!! gonna take ur advice =)

[@verna100]

I don't know what to do. A colleague who gave me a hard time in my last job, now contacts my friends. She uses the same technique as she did so successfully at work -telling them I have problems and big flaws, pretend to be concerned, and initiate a collaboration. All the time she is trying to get information about me and smear my reputation more. In my job this led me to have a breakdown, and I withdrew from everybody. Everybody thought i was crazy.. I can see that I didn't handle it well, but what can I do now? Can I stop her from winning again?

[@mariedubuque]

verna, hold your head high and keep doing a great job. Don't let her get to you. That is her goal. I know it is hard, but you can do it. People will put two and two together and realize what she is up to.

[@verna100]

Marie Dubuque Thank you Marie for your support. I try to ignore her, but often I give myself away, show my fear, and trust the wrong people. I guess I just have to keep trying... :-)

[@violet482]

@@verna100 how did that turn out

[@Nantahayala]

Marie, I have a woman at work that is trying to get me fired. She will lie and do evil stuff to me to make me look bad to the Supervisors. Your video has helped me some and I will watch your others. My blood boils when I'm falsely accused of something and my face shows it. Thanks.

[@CatsAreNiceMeow]

You’re wonderful!! I love all your videos!!

[@cu99460]

YOUR THE BEST! I LOVE your advice, really practical. Keep up the great work Marie!

[@mariedubuque]

Thank you so much, you made my day!

[@cu99460]

I'm glad I made your day x

[@preciouspoirot]

Great advice Marie! Your videos are so helpful.

[@bozokol4359]

Dunno why, but this made my eyes fill up with happy tears...

[@kisxkoko]

You are the best.My file is so bad cause you see in school i have friends who is always pushing me and beating me and takes 80% of our desk in school, but later he said im his BEST FRIEND, but i dont think soo cause he is always talking to my other friend and that makes me angry cause he is lying to me.But you helped me ty sooo much 😘

[@treehuggerdude4]

Thanks for posting Your like the kind understanding validating freind I never had.

[@riolizsh]

this is a nice topic, thanks MAria. ive been through with lot of ppl like these in life, i wish i know how to deal with it that time ! is true, just ignore them,

[@lindaeasley5606]

I have a family member who acts this way .They are mean to me but everyone else thinks they walk on water. I think it's because he expects everyone to bow down at his alter but I am the only one who doesn't

[@michellebear3173]

Sorry I had to disagree with you the only way to handle ugly people like that if you can just cut them off don't put up with with them that's their issue and I emphasize there issue!!

[@nattyking802]

I experience this now. I started working and I met a group of people who all started a week or two before or after me, they all seem to follow around the mature slightly attractive female of the group. At first we all got along well (when I was new to the group of friends) but eventually, she started jokingly making rude comments more often and eventually it was to the point to where every time she saw me I couldn't have a normal conversation with her she would have to make fun of some characteristic like being overweight or something or the way I walk. And she would make me the center of the joke every time with the group of friends. When I finally expressed how I felt about it and quit going around them, a couple of them played the victim and said it's just a joke. But what they don't realize is that with her we couldn't have a 3-second conversation without that happening constantly. With the rest of them we can make the occasional jokes but it wasn't all the time.

[@cdorothy444]

The main mean girl was a narcissist and toxic woman. There are something that she is jealous of you. Lay low and hang out with better friends.

[@cdorothy444]

You threatened her position.

[@lidewijcroes1795]

This sucks so much. It’s ruining my enjoyment of my job. But I have to try and not let it get to me anymore. It’s just hard to understand why people are like this because it’s so unnecessary.

[@fornavnefternavn5480]

Narcissist?

[@mindset_olympics2]

I love that. “Gonna go grab something to drink brb” 3:38 you don’t know whats gonna happen…👏🏾

[@Jenny-j5f3v]

people that are unable to get to you get mad. avoiding them , not being alone with the, and excusing yourself are all good ideas.

[@conniepatterson5142]

Thanks!!! Needed this today!

[@thiery572]

Cold. Right on!

[@gwendolynwehage6336]

Thank you for this advice, it is excellent!

[@hasherdnene]

Thank you for replying, MarieDubuque. That was nice advice.

[@helenseah1649]

I faced this problem with my in-laws. When they are with me alone, they’ll be outright nasty, demeaning, insulting, comparing, belittling me. But when they are in front of other relatives they’ll be Super nice to them including me which always depresses me. This is devastating especially when everyone believes they’re genuinely nice and kind people and I’m the emo one. I’m exhausted pleasing them. The weird thing is that I’ve no problem making friends every where I go.... but I dun seems to be able to pleased them. I’m never good enough for them.

[@FiyahKitteh]

Also, what do I do when they are making themselves look good on MY behalf? For example if they "dislike my face" (hate me for no reason) and tell other people to stay away from me because I am a "horrible person", but then towards other people ("clients" of theirs, basically) they act as if they care about my well-being? I would really appreciate some info on that, since I'm an Aspi and have a lot of questions about "how to do things best" (basically in a way to be happiest). 2/2

[@純粋-u6i]

I know a person that is the perpetrator and a person that is the victim. If it weren't for the legal issues involved, I would have point-blank called my lawyer or even the cops to put them away for the years and years of abuse they've inflicted on their family.

[@Chipotle77]

Thank you for your helpful and insightful advice.