What Trump's New Tariffs Will Do To Beer, Avocados & Tequila

Increased prices on imports from Mexico might have you wanting to take a shot of tequila. And it's going to cost you extra. #LSSC #Colbert #Monologue
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.

[@TheReal008Zulu]

Trump: I am announcing a tariff on beer! Brett Kananaugh: (picks up the phone) Nancy Pelosi? It's time we talked.

[@soyborne.bornmadeandundone1342]

great comment lol

[@TruckTaxiMoveIt]

Hahahaha

[@butterification]

Hahaha hahaha!

[@johndanielson3777]

Kavanaugh: “If he puts a tariff on beer, so help me God I’ll start voting with the liberals.”

[@ejanb999]

lol!

[@CJusticeHappen21]

Trump talking about the beaches at Normandy is actually painful. It's like hearing a book report from a student who very clearly didn't read the book.

[@bettygiles9737]

Right!

[@SisterWomen]

With zero remourse about the fact that it's super obvious. A kid who knows he won't get a reprimanded no matter what he sputters

[@TheBiggestMoronYouKnow]

Exactly what I thought, he talks in circles but never makes a point based on information

[@davidescobar3368]

That's why his supporters love him because he's exactly like them lol

[@Hooyahfish]

Unfortunately that's more than his base knows, so they think he sounded smart.

[@evanbarnes9984]

"A dalliance with integrity" is a gem of a phrase

[@bren106]

Well at least they managed to stop him saying "There were very fine people on both sides" about WW2

[@ericcole498]

You know he thinks it right?

[@ericy1817]

There were fine people on both sides. Not the entire wehrmacht were fucking nazis, some were only following orders. Not saying nazis or their cause was good, but you'll find some honorable men in any army

[@kelgreen99]

45 always sounds like he's giving his book report without having read the book. I don't even think he read the cover.

[@fabigrossi2976]

That explains it really accurately.

[@majalca03]

I think he even gave the report in the wrong class.

[@HannibalHector714]

🤣😂😅😆😄

[@HOLY_SPIRIT_GOD]

And now with bud light, conservatives are going to be doing nothing but screwing their cousins and drinking Milwaukee

[@charliebriones1300]

Trump sounds like a student who was called on to give an oral report on a book he never read. "It's about a place where important stuff happened" WTF!!!!

[@treehugginmama]

ALWAYS. Every freaking time.

[@themiddleclasseconomist5128]

More like he just read the back cover with all the advertised quotes from real experts. "Wonderful story" " heart breaking" "Huge" hahaha.

[@mlr4524]

Macron did well to not crack up laughing. I wouldn't have been able to keep a straight face listening to such idiocy.

[@carrie0508]

Or least said, " Damn dude, WTF are you talking about??? Why don't people say that????

[@Kaytecando]

As Americans we have learned to just shake our heads and change the channel.

[@tp1924]

You can tell he tried to keep a straight face

[@uasakura]

I will be more impressed if he burst out laughing, everyone is trying to keep it professional, but sometimes its disrespectful to not laugh when the clown tried to make u laugh

[@johntao6822]

@@carrie0508 because the obscenely wealthy prop up each others' ( and their reps such as tRump) personas

[@dkipu266]

Moving forward, how about candidates submit their taxes, take an IQ test along with a test of emotional intelligence?

[@vs52217]

And a psychological test to rule out sociopaths and narcissists.

[@idfuckrichevans2833]

@@vs52217 Retroactive tests too...But that would empty out 99% of D.C.

[@ingerabrams4569]

Everyone running for any office should have a background check like an fbi agent.

[@johncloois7565]

Valerie S Yes!

[@johncloois7565]

Paper St. That comes with it and nothing is perfect but this helps us in getting a better government, these ideas.

[@AtamisRazputen]

His vocabulary is so limited. It's sad to watch a man decline into senility while holding our country's leadership.

[@jamesmcpherson8599]

Yeah it's kinda sad tbh

[@scooters47]

The same happened with Ronald Reagan but Nancy and his staff were much more competent and able to shield him from the public.

[@Ariels888]

He's just the puppet!

[@DonaldDump2024]

What idiot didn’t know this about trump in November 2016? Sad.

[@gmaildinozz]

@@DonaldDump2024 Real sad part is : they will re-elect him.

[@deeday2576]

He’s the best at saying a whole lot and yet literally nOThIng at the same time 🤦‍♀️

[@chydi10]

I can’t stand this man.

[@luisdonaldocolossio]

Al Bast725 in Mexico we call that Cantinfliar

[@jacquiblue1668]

Sooooooo true!😂

[@AS-vp4kq]

Thats called bullshiting...its what he does best.

[@vinnieviddivicci5459]

"They called them the guides... " *Groan* ...what a tool.

[@SeventhSaucer]

Delvin Minor Trump’s idiotic comment about guides hasn’t aged at all. Surely you can agree that we all, Trump included, would be better off if he just shut up once in a while?

[@jenniferbosch7590]

Trump uses many words and says nothing.

[@Ruthavecflute]

It's like he didn't even recognize the word as English.

[@emilypickard2536]

Delvin Minor they didn’t concede to anything, the tariffs were never going to happen to begin with.

[@NashobaLusaTaloa]

@Delvin Minor , the "concessions" by Mexico that Trump took credit for were actually part of a an agreement by Mexico made with Kirsjen Nielsen back in MARCH, and had nothing to do with Trump's threatened tariffs. Perhaps you should watch REAL news, instead of Faux "news" propaganda.

[@marlenesingleton6447]

Just once, I would love for a leader of another country to ask him what he's talking about. Tape rolling. Just once.

[@avidnongetit8710]

Me too! He's the college kid who should be called on his painfully Ignorant B S.!

[@sweetsugarjones]

Just once!

[@thomasraahauge5231]

Marlene Singleton: Is that why he hasn't paid Maduro a visit?

[@piedpiper1185]

I think there's a chance Angela Merkle would.

[@lunaazule1899]

@C J Everyone today is afraid of a tweet. The birds are talking about what a bunch of idiots humans are.

[@debbiemarquis3231]

Some years ago..I got up very early...put the television on...and to my delight...was in time to hear one of the most moving D Day Speech by President Obama...I was mesmerized by the fact that this man didn't even have a script to read from..and was able deliver such a moving narrative of what was the purpose of D Day...

[@couragekarnga8735]

And now we have an orange lump who sounds like he's on Probothol!

[@nathanbruce1992]

Obama truly was a great orator

[@squirrel_of_mistri8565]

@@couragekarnga8735 What's Probothol? I Googled it and nothing came up.

[@donwadd9143]

@@nathanbruce1992 WORST president in history! Belongs in jail!

[@katsiegel451]

@@squirrel_of_mistri8565 maybe Propofal?

[@MaddogJones]

Hearing Donnie Tiny Hands try to string together words is a friggin' like having a root canal straight through to the skull...

[@cisco8650]

That explains the pain I feel in my brain when he speaks.

[@donwadd9143]

@@cisco8650 He lives in libtards heads rent free!

[@aidanlevy2841]

I turn the volume way down. I find "did he just say that?" a much more bearable thought than "I can't believe he just said that."

[@MaddogJones]

@@cisco8650 Indeed...

[@muniahlers7468]

Beautiful descriptive comment. I love it!

[@francislumley7773]

"We met these guys who guided us, they call them guides and they told us what happened..." Donald J. Trump 2020. Just. Kill. Me.

[@kbanghart]

He couldn't even name one of the beaches? Or monuments, museums, ......

[@kendomyers]

Theres Tom Hanks beach...great beach...next to John Wayne Beach, who of course... who stormed this beach...great man, a lot of people are starting to realize this

[@dancheb]

"Extremely stable genius" playing 5-D chess as seen by his "genius" supporters.

[@cameleyez]

@@kendomyers the biggest beach. Believe me. Like yuge. Very nice hotels on that beach. Tremendous.

[@vracerv]

Trump 2020? Dont even think it. Shh

[@lafierechienne7777]

I got heels higher than trump supporters standards.

[@mitchjones9342]

La Fière Chienne ouch!!

[@gorkskoal9315]

Not exactly a high bar. at this point the bar has bone bellow the flow into the earth and making way out the other end, while pondering if it's to late to Creatively Tactical Advance Backwards.

[@thomasraahauge5231]

I got heels higher than trump supporters standards when I'm wearing nothing but socks full of holes . . .

[@cathsaigh2197]

Doesn't it hurt to walk with your heels below ground level?

[@russellmcafee9412]

who is Mimi Alford?

[@mrsmucha]

Macron looks like he is going to burst out laughing at any moment.

[@kathryn3950]

mrs mucha Can you blame him?

[@christiangeiselmann]

I wonder how he is able to not facepalm repeatedly. Utter self-control.

[@disavowalf3351]

Don't you just love the little eyebrow lift Stephen did to camera about "the guides" too?!?

[@michaelpondo6324]

The whole world is laughing at dick taters feak shiw. Put him in a psych ward now befire he gets us into a war now.

[@223Drone]

The self proclaimed "deal maker" still doesn't understand that US citizens pay for the tariffs not foreign countries.

[@bjornsantens9030]

He knows...lieying is his second nature...no correcting, his first

[@j.m.3648]

Which curbs their consumption of it and leaves Mexico with a surplus of goods produced, that they can't get rid of. Economics - Google it.

[@couragekarnga8735]

Sorry, what exactly does he understand?

[@bjornsantens9030]

@@couragekarnga8735 that tariffs are in fact taxes on American people.

[@bEtAssassin1]

J. M. And this is beneficial to US citizens how...? People like these products for a reason, you think they’re just gonna give it up just like that? Lol get out of here

[@rosejohnson-tsosie2552]

Notice how Trump is sounding more and more like a 4th Grader telling Mom about his field trip.

[@OP-1000]

More like the Alzheimer gaining ground.

[@maggierezac5820]

@@OP-1000 Or syphilitic brain damage! I learned recently that shit can last for years, before the sick bastard dies! But to the OP here, I was thinking a 4 YEAR OLD, like 2 of my granddaughters that could absolutely kick his ass in a debate! And don't bring in the 7 year old, she just got 'caught' correcting a spelling error of her teacher! Yay Future Generation!

[@javierharth3647]

It was fun reading, I've laughed a lot; but thank you for putting it into perspective. His regression is notable. My mom wen't through it. Lucky him, he won't recognize himself in the mirror soon!

[@Chunkboi]

Maggie Rezac you’re assuming that President 💩 has a brain to damage.

[@maggierezac5820]

@@Chunkboi Either I'm feeling charitable today or I believe those ads for the 'brain enhancement' supplement that they say is made from ... Jellyfish??? Good to see you Friend! Cheers! 🍻✌☮😎

[@donberry7657]

Beer, tequila, avocados, tomatos... Trump doesn't drink or eat his vegetables. Dems should propose tariffs on eastern European mail order brides and tanning bronzer. So Donny too can do his bit for his great cause.

[@HexIsme]

And hamberders.

[@mistylee717]

A covfefe on both your houses.

[@thomasraahauge5231]

Misty Lee: #OhForTheLoveOfLOL

[@judioregan4210]

@@mistylee717 - hahaha! Brilliant Shakespeare reference. 😄

[@russellmcafee9412]

who is Mimi Alford?

[@feebeedoc78]

Oh God he’s just mental. Please make him stop.

[@couragekarnga8735]

We will in 2020. #FeeltheBern!

[@gz9975]

Trump's not going to stop, because half the country still thinks he's the literal second coming of Christ. Christians are hateful people and as long as Trump continues to preach hate, he will always have the Christian vote.

[@feebeedoc78]

Greg Gammago The evangelical vote.

[@reforest4fertility]

@@feebeedoc78 not sure you know why, cuz there isn't one. Hillary was a centrist. How well did she do. Read March issue of Harper's: No Joe -- Biden's Disastrous Voting Record. Bernie would be a win for posterity (future generations thru a Green New Deal). "Centrists" are rightwingers. The whole political spectrum has been, as if, picked up and trotted off in the rightward direction

[@shobalmani1]

Rose S Please make him disappear. Trump has been constantly in news for the three years. Overall is killing us.

[@aileeno143]

He sounds like my 6 year old explaining her school tour🙈

[@Chunkboi]

Why do you have to insult your daughter like that?

[@lafierechienne7777]

Neh,6 yo's are way smarter.

[@aileeno143]

😄😄😄👍

[@cnnmaga9984]

The entire episode is hilarious!! Thank you Stephen.

[@TheCrappyRobot]

(Laughs in sheep.)

[@arthurtrauer5684]

Trump could have said something like: Americans love the people of France, we are proud to be allies with your beautiful country and you can count on us to stand by your side through anything. Thank you for all the wonderful things you have contributed to the world. I am honored to be invited here on the anniversary where so many good men lost their lives for the freedom they believed in. What can we do to help your people and try to make the world a better place? I promise I will do my best to make that happen, sincerely. Just a suggestion, instead of,... well, you heard it.

[@crysstoll1191]

Arthur Trauer You would get my vote, well before orange turdbucket conman.

[@arthurtrauer5684]

Crys Stoll Thanks, that’s sweet. It’s just common sense and politeness. I’m sure you feel the same way. Take care.

[@anneclausen503]

Lol, what the hell is America doing!? Trump is an embarrassment.

[@TruckTaxiMoveIt]

I can think of a few things that took place over the last 50 years that that has made our country look like complete idiots to the world one that happened about 40 years ago and another that happened about 4 years ago.

[@gz9975]

The combined effects of religion, cousinpumpin, and a lack of education.

[@maxxsbrother2]

We are trying SO HARD to get rid of him, but we have stupid people.

[@johndanielson3777]

Are you new here?

[@gabdominates]

I have to skip the parts where he speaks, I cringe so hard. 😭 trust me, we don't like him and we're horrified

[@unvergebeneid]

Amazing, tremendous, great. Trump has something like three adjectives to talk about anything. The entire depth of his eloquence consists of slapping a superlative on them and putting them in a different order. That's a problem when something is not in fact amazing, tremendous or great.

[@matteowatteo1296]

You left out beautiful

[@AD-wm5ju]

Ohhhh! Snap!

[@candicepederson5861]

Don't forget that he usually has to say it twice in a row, too.

[@philipclarke364]

@@candicepederson5861 Also..when he's about to lie he says.." everybody's saying" or " a lot of people are saying " ..😊

[@candicepederson5861]

Philip Clarke I think when his lips are moving is a good indication of him lying. 😋

[@Danielle-ty8mx]

such an embarrassment to our country, God, how other nations must judge us😂

[@alasdairblack393]

They do. We are hoping you will fix the problem and Learn from the mistake asap. It is just plain sad to witness. USA is better than this.

[@thomasraahauge5231]

Dani Renee: I don't judge America, only the failure of the political system that brought Trump to the Oval Office.

[@daimonien]

To be honest I think its a good lesson to all of us living in a democratic countries. Hopefully we dont forget.

[@shoopshoop2399]

NO avocado toast? There's a voting block that is lost to Trump. He's . ... toast.

[@emmanuelperez808]

I love emmanuel macron smile when trump is explaining everything he knows trump doesn't know a damn thing about d-day 🤣🤣🤦‍♂️

[@kasnitch]

c'est certain

[@guiyomelangloiz2483]

@Neil Mo ta gueule petit con. You know nothing about France.

[@ehiewa142]

R2 D2 only in your dreams!!! Looney Trump cult member!!! You are a deplorable human being

[@1danzilla]

trump does not know a damn thing about a-, b-, or c-day either.

[@disavowalf3351]

Randy Yates...Aaah, your comment is a thing of beauty...I needed that...have a good one, dude😉

[@saturnv2419]

Separating children, accept foreign help and try to obstruct investigation? Yeah that is fine. Putting taxes on import? No that crossed the line..............

[@110100111000]

Except they haven't reacted to any of the other stuff #DarthPyrite has tariffed. Where were they when president tan in a can started burning his last trade war in the easy bake oven. The smoldering briquette's *still* in there!

[@SilverMe2004]

@@110100111000 The problem is that China has been misbehaving and thus deserves the tariffs. But more importantly we don't import beer from China

[@robertnett9793]

@@SilverMe2004 ... Putting Tariffs on China is like: I hold my breath until you comply with my demands! As US economy is dependant on Chinese imports. So it won't become a punishment for China - but just another sales tax to the US citicen.

[@ashleymistletoe]

@@robertnett9793 it IS nothing but extra tax on average people. how else can trxxp make up the cut he gave himself and the rich? with trxxp propagandaing China is paying for tariffs, American people go back to sleep while their supposedly servant, ie government, is taking money from their pockets. now this is SAD.

[@rominaconstenla5624]

"Foreign help" is not the right word.

[@ziqi92]

Indeed, Madame Speaker, do we really have to choose? Both is good.

[@DiamondHedgehog]

Yes, let's impeach the president, and then convict him of multiple felonies.

[@techywill]

Will he just quit pretending he knows anything? He's like a baby first learning to talk and trying to form words.

[@lisavennefron9402]

Techy Williamson One trying to impress his parents, who smile indulgently. For a six year old, he is right on track!

[@rayr4593]

The ones that knew how to talk, how did that work out?

[@kameronsnowe903]

soon trump will be saying, "there are these people who were showing us our rooms and explaining what the bars are for. I don't know if you know this, they're called 'the guards'."

[@robertnett9793]

Aren't they called 'Nurses' or 'Wardens' in insane asylms? (Or the nice guys with the long sleeve jackets for that matter)?

[@marsol1solo294]

🤣😁😂

[@marlenecirbus5235]

LMAO

[@allenluce4070]

What a world trump lives in. Thanks to his goldfish level memory, everything is a new and exciting discovery. What splendor is this globe when each day you can learn lessons like " nazis are bad" and " dont make sexual advances toward your daughter" or words in general.

[@megan893]

"the hunchback church" I just can't sometimes 🤣🤣🤣

[@mattjohnston2]

That was actually a really good response from Pelosi rather than saying "no comment" or some such.

[@kbanghart]

"his body's hidden pleasure centers..." OMG how does Stephen keep a straight face... !!!

[@timothygreer188]

I needed brain bleach after that image, gouging my eyes out wasn't enough

[@thomasraahauge5231]

Timothy Greer: I'm old and fat enough to think of an extra stomach for desserts - so no matter how full you are, no matter how badly you tummy aches, there's still room for ice cream. That would be *my* body's hidden pleasure center . . .

[@timothygreer188]

@@thomasraahauge5231 I'm right with your there. Just polished off a second bag of chips, even though the inside of my mouth feels like it's been sand-blasted with salt

[@thomasraahauge5231]

Timothy Greer: Chips are God's way of saying "enjoy life - but don't enjoy it TOO much!" . . . And I enjoy it wa-a-a-a-ay too much :-D

[@rmmm71709]

"Okay, but why do we have to choose?" Exactly.

[@rosaliamartinez8956]

Haha I

[@21972012145525]

Because the senate is controlled by the republicans who wouldn’t convict him.

[@julieannmyers8714]

@@21972012145525 Impeachment is controlled by the House. Removal from office is tried by the Senate.

[@rachell2099]

Because #2 in line is even worse. not just stupid wreckage but intentional evil.

[@ken_yap]

Missy because Trump might win the election again when his voters rally strongly behind him after the impeachment, as it happened with Bill Clinton that got him his second term. If Trump doesn’t win 2020, then Trump won’t be protected by the DOJ’s policy and prosecutors can start charging Trump for crimes he committed.

[@evillyn7895]

"The croissant mines" LOL.

[@couragekarnga8735]

Now he probably thinks that's a real thing!

[@SilverMe2004]

@Nick Thomas Haven't you heard? Global warming is a scam by China to sell their "environmentally friendly, tree grown" croissants. Real Croissants are mined by hard working Americans!

[@AnonEyeMouse]

LOL? How dare you take pastry extraction lightly? Do you know how many have died over the years in the various crumb collapses? Not to mention those who spend too long in the mines and contract black loaf. SHAME ON YOU!

[@fl00d69]

@@AnonEyeMouse Give me a gallon of milk, and I'll take that crumb collapse gladly...........

[@twistedfrannie9311]

Trump's comments are more confusing than Yoda on acid!!

[@CastOnCalamity]

Stephen, your imitation of the orange buffoon is crazy accurate.

[@joeblow2556]

And I challenge you to view this video to the very end but I am willing to bet that you will not after the first few seconds because you know what's coming and it's the truth raw truth and you are afraid of the truth because you are so blind

[@gokermitsewerside358]

@@joeblow2556 ok buddy MAGA 2020. There you happy? Lol

[@kevincardoso6723]

Still your president for 6 more years.

[@dasstigma]

"Hidden pleasure centers." That pic with this sentence was the best one ever :D

[@MisterMitchMM]

OMG. Hilarious

[@enegmatixerebro]

There are times when I think this country or the world is beyond repair but then comes a group of remarkable people who stand together against an orange. 🍊 👐

[@72marshflower15]

It’s just reich wingers around the world causing trouble... It’s the one common denominator...

[@imrhanedjonouma7209]

*Avengers theme starts playing in the background*

[@DieFarbeLila88]

This is the most ACCURATE emoji I have EVER seen😂😂😂

[@Rita-kx3yr]

I too appreciate Ironman 3. We unite against the Mandarin. ...and all related citrus.

[@DieFarbeLila88]

🍊🍊🍊🍊🍊🍊 👐👐🙌👐👐🙌

[@IronDino]

Nadler, "Impeachment!" Pelosi, "Imprisonment!" Ol El Paso Girl, "Why not both?"

[@touchofgrey5762]

As always Stephen. Solid GOLD from you and your writing team💚

[@ladysollua]

Am I the only one who thinks Trump sounds like a 6th grader who forgot to do his social studies assignment? Edit:...Okay, maybe 2nd grader. I think I may have given him too much credit.

[@fredopere7134]

His vocabulary is so limited

[@impunitythebagpuss]

You're insulting 2nd graders even there! Slime mold has more awareness of the world!

[@couragekarnga8735]

Frankly, a second grader is more qualified to run this country!

[@donwadd9143]

@@fredopere7134 He is a multi millionaire and president while you are in moms basement watching CNN and eating Cheetos.

[@donwadd9143]

@@couragekarnga8735 Sure, you idiot!

[@dpath2o-2-u-tube]

I don't say this enough, because I watch these clips *every* night, you do great *work* Mr Colbert!!! You are ridiculously humourous :) :) :)

[@ErroneousMonk1]

You mean ridiculous. Period

[@baruchben-david4196]

@@ErroneousMonk1 Sure, for those lacking a sense of humor. Maybe you'd like Fox "News" better.

[@colinnoble3918]

Dumdski produces the humour, Colbert merely highlights it

[@robertmelvin7908]

Republicans to Trump: you can take way our Constitution, but not our beer, avocados, tomatoes and tequila.

[@thomasraahauge5231]

You make take our life, but you can never take our TEQUILAAAAAAA! (don't forget to bring blue face paint and and a fucking huge sword)

[@felinecontrolled]

@@thomasraahauge5231 I have the sword. But I'm lacking in blue face paint. I only have black.

[@thomasraahauge5231]

Lesh4537: Black will have to do, then. I have a sturdy stick and skin rash that makes my face look like a half baked pizza that has been accidentally dropped on the ground. That'll have to do, too.

[@dudeitskory]

“Nervous Nancy” is the best he could come up with? 🤔😭🤣

[@rayr4593]

He’s trying to stay classy

[@jagulba]

“They were called the the guides and they were guiding us and telling us what happened and when” I have a nephew who talks like that... he’s 3.5 years old Bush was Shakespeare compare to this guy :)))

[@jagulba]

​@@DaGodFadder69 yeaaaay finally one of you people :)))) so what's your goal in life?

[@carrie0508]

I've been talking to a 2yr old for 2 days, and she has made more sense and brought up more relevance, than this clown can even imagine!!! Wow

[@ruggedwatcher]

Just when I think it cannot get more cringeworthy, Trump always finds a way to one up over himself. He improves everyday I guess in a bigly way.

[@lonniedobbins778]

*White Nationalist Providing Examples Of More Intelligence Than All Black People.* It's in his Genes! NOW YOU KNOW WHY BLACK PEOPLE DIDN'T VOTE! *You Got This !*

[@tylerdurden4392]

@@lonniedobbins778 Racist...

[@tylerdurden4392]

You have low standards for cringe. Did you not see the "scream at the sky" action from your team?

[@lonniedobbins778]

@@tylerdurden4392 Sure! I control what happens in your life? Dumbass! Why you voted for trump to Start A Race War? Why your party has *Changed The Definition* Of Freedom To "GENOCIDE OF HUEMANS". Because of those racist black people! TOTAL means black people too now.

[@chrisbeecraft]

4:14, 'wants to see him in prison' - The musician comes in with the first bar of Jail House Rock - classic co-ordination

[@pokerman9108]

flirting with rebellion... sounds like an 80's hair band.

[@bellabana]

You know Macron is thinking ‘imbecile’ ppft!

[@tylerdurden4392]

@Dak Lamerbusch I support Trump and would own any Dem, so what's YOUR point?

[@tylerdurden4392]

@Neil Mo Exactly, it's like asking AOC what she thinks and then saying "See! Proof!" :D

[@Shodkev]

For someone who is bringing france into ruin, allowing migrants to do as they please while crime rates soar he would have a lot of nerve to think that lmao

[@colinnoble3918]

@Neil Mo and the world thinks Dumbski is a moronic mushroom tosser.

[@leowilly29]

@@Shodkev stop watching fox news man. Migrants do ot behave as they want.

[@Redoralive]

"When you have the product, when you have the thing that everybody wants, you're in a position to do well with tariffs." He doesn't seem to understand that import tariffs are on 'things' that other people have and America wants.

[@allenluce4070]

I'm still not convinced trump knows what a tariff is.

[@cyndieK1]

Allen Luce I was going to say the same thing. He’s Dangerously Stupid.

[@mgmred]

He's a freaking moron.

[@azelheidrruth1661]

Stephen, the voice of a generation 💜

[@deadfreightwest5956]

Stephen's spot-on about the shelf life of avocados: Hard, hard, hard, hard, hard, ripe, mush!

[@thomasraahauge5231]

They grow ripe and stay ripe enough to be edible? As in "you can actually eat it without upsetting your stomach"? Stephen Colbert just taught me something :-D

[@khoanguyen-yf3lc]

Pelosi said: I don"t. talk about the President when I am out of country, that"s my principal..wow that why Mrs Nancy always be on top of the game and she knows how to deal with her grand child.

[@christalbailey6158]

Trump is clearly not very well-educated. He has the vocabulary of a second grader. I taught 3rd and 4th graders; they understood sentence structure better than he does. He must have struggled in school and was too proud to ask for help. Being rich does not mean that Trump is the right person for the presidency. Let's all remember that in November 2020.

[@eIicit]

Seriously how much did his daddy pay to get him through school? Must have cost a fortune in donations for his college degree.

[@VeryDeathlyShiny]

He sounds like a kid whom is doing a report on a book he never read. And our country is getting the failing grade for it.

[@jds8560]

How on earth are you people able to hold your head up with THAT representing YOU. Thank God I have nothing in common with IT.

[@brentwalker8596]

It's painful to say the least.

[@ericcole498]

Normal people get whiplash neck pain from shaking their head. and slapping their forehead ! Alt right , also by nodding in agreement with TRUMP, The MAGA MORONS are also a pain in the Neck!

[@kansasgoldilocks]

It's rough, but Stephen Colbert helps. And the knowledge that we have an election coming up soon. And term limits.

[@laurent1144]

Funny enough it actually has a lot in common with IT. They're both clowns.

[@AD-wm5ju]

“And the “clause”(claws) will come out.”🤣🤣🤣 Ohhhhh!

[@thomasraahauge5231]

#YeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeHah

[@Mulceber]

Remember when conservatives were insinuating that Obama couldn’t deliver a speech without a teleprompter? I think we’re seeing what that would look like right now.

[@michaelpondo6324]

Dick tater reads off his shirt cuff like a 3rd grader does. He s clueless that he s a f. K. N. Fool and that his freak show scam is coming to an end. Thank god.

[@lightningstrikestwice6302]

The Republicans never liked Obama because he had the intelligence, class, compassion, integrity and a great sense of humor especially when he laughed at himself. He certainly did not need a teleprompter to talk intelligently. He had all the coolness and Swagger that a man could possess. Still great to see him out in the public. The crowds go nuts! Not even to mention is great family. Yep, all the Republicans can do is hate. Trying to take us back into the 40s

[@Firstanold]

They're so full of shit. Did they think his thoughtful pauses were on the teleprompter too? That's why they hated Obama. "Hey, he's thinking, we don't do that! no fair!"

[@keeliekalayidol8876]

1:54 Macron can barely hold in his laughter at how legitimately stupid Trump is 😝

[@lisavennefron9402]

Keelie Kalay Idol I am SO tired of Trump humiliating us in front of the rest of the world. I mean, Bush was bad, but Trump is too much. It will take at least ten back to back Obama’s to even get back to pre Trump.

[@baruchben-david4196]

@@lisavennefron9402 Not really. People have short memories.

[@garrettstitt5489]

“...croissant mines”?!! - now that’s taking the joke too far! No one could be THAT stupid.😆 But then again🤷🏽‍♂️...it’s Trump.

[@thomasraahauge5231]

Wut? Thare ain't no such thang as crotch saint mines? Mah hole lafe been a lie! Where u get them crotch saints frum, than? Crotch saint bushes or trees or sumetheng? Gotta string mah banjo and sing me-a song bout'em crotch saints.

[@Vision-nr8zy]

Omg this can't be real... The guides... Sad this is so funny. Happy Friday

[@martinshillitoe4735]

He truly believes he is the only one who understands...the entire rest of the world is wrong about tariffs, but me alone is right. The man is insane

[@russellmcafee9412]

how arrogant to think 'the rest of the world' agrees with you

[@russellmcafee9412]

thanks for your 2¢ Neil

[@Firstanold]

@@russellmcafee9412 it's not like it's a difference of opinion he's having with others. He's explicitly stated what he thinks tariffs are and he's got the basic definition wrong.

[@russellmcafee9412]

The definition of tariffs is not what's important here. This isnt the Boston Tea Party. The effect is what's important. I believe what Trump is trying to do is just put pressure on China to stop knocking-off our products. China needs our money and they will have a hard time replacing that. On the other hand, we can replace China as a supplier. And because of that, they are sweating at the table.

[@Firstanold]

@@russellmcafee9412 Trump supporters are like tea leaf readers. "oh he says he wants to build a wall but what he really means is that international boundaries must be respected and the metaphysical incursion of exterior forces on a closed system result in instability-- it's not about a literal wall" You're a moron if you think trump means or does anything more than he says. He hasn't got any depth, he's as transparent as he seems.

[@berniehobabykat]

We’ve just been GUAC BLOCKED!!!!!☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️🤦🏻‍♀️

[@staceykersting705]

O!

[@johannaweichsel3602]

Noice

[@jeanetteandersson7152]

VegasBabyKat 😂😂😂😂😂

[@Shitsthebed]

Future generations will look back at these trump moments and just say WTF.😄

[@ericcole498]

The world says that now!

[@walterbushell7029]

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

[@teddyroosevelt512]

Trump has no clue what D-Day is. You can tell by how he avoids referencing D-Day directly.

[@johnho6173]

Teddy Roosevelt maybe he thinks D-Day is Donald's Day,the whole world is paying tribute to him

[@lylegardner7260]

We should just be thankful he hasn't seen / can't remember Animal House. He wouldn't have been able to shut up about things like Flounder, parade floats, togas, and that all is well on that trip.

[@Opus313]

Nancy, it's like cake and ice cream. We can have both. Impeach and Imprison Donald! Now, who wants dessert?

[@masterkush9494]

Too bad she's taking her sweet time. And her excuse this whole time was he's not worth it.

[@Jakerscrub]

It's not that easy. If we were to impeach him, it would be taken to a Republican dominated senate. If there's not absolute proof and a dominant backing from the population, they could mess up and leave us with another 4 years of the big orange baby. Her reason is that there really needs to be more than enough proof. Hopefully an unredacted Mueller report can put a nail in the coffin.@@masterkush9494

[@couragekarnga8735]

Please, someone stop the madness!

[@j.m.3648]

It's spelt d-e-l-u-s-i-o-n-a-l kids. He hasn't been impeached because there is no conclusive evidence. Must be frustrating when the only thing your platform has tried to achieve the last couple of years is impeachment and its failed miserably hahah

[@kennethdeed1199]

I feel that the longer Nancy waits to start an impeachment inquiry, the more likely the idiot gets re-elected next year.

[@brianhelgerson87]

Trump sounded like a grade schooler that had to do an oral book report, but he hadn't read any of the material. There's your "stable genius", ladies and gentlemen!

[@marshwetland3808]

Stable genius = horse's ass.

[@scooters47]

More like unstable and no genius.

[@noluthando6757]

Stephen STOP!! That flirting skit killed me dead 😅😅

[@Jeudaos]

Macron is literally thinking: 'just let him talk. See how much of an idiot he can REALLY sound'

[@SusanLynn656]

I always imagine Macron laughing hysterically, on the floor, pounding his hands on the floor, tears streaming down his face behind closed doors after an appearance like this one where trump spews bs.

[@LandonStevens]

I just need to know, why is he sitting in front of the German flag? 😂 he looks like he’s reminiscing of grandpappy petain

[@Raziel312]

Whenever Trump has to demonstrate knowledge, he always sounds like a third-grader trying to fake his way through a book report. It's an important place. A very important place. Many people would say that all of the important places, this is one of the tops. And that's my book report on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

[@carrie0508]

I was rolling my eyes the whole time...but his intro to the Queen, took the cake..." The Queen is a very, very Great woman, yes, really great"---WTF??? She really is compared to you, she has what YOU will never have….A Lifetime Job!!!

[@johnkeith8072]

I'm sure Trump got some other kid to write it for him, and then never paid the kid for the job...

[@joeblow2556]

You know I have been through almost six or seven presidents from Nixon Johnson bush Reagan bush Obama and I have noticed one thing about all of those idiots they trained very hard to fool the people do tell the people what the people want to hear to tickle you know and nothing but lies came out of their mouth Along Comes President Trump which by the way is your president too whether you voted for him or not he comes as a normal citizen not trained in politics and he does a hell of a lot better job than all of those lying son of a bitches his speech is may not be eloquent or dazzling like the last president but you know what I will fight for this man right here because he has been straight up with us I don't give a damn what he has done in the past because you know what you're not perfect and I am not perfect you have done things that nobody knows and you know it

[@gerryc3112]

@Lynette Scribner What is truly even more embarrassing than The Orange Lump are the dwindling MILLIONS of Americans who still support and defend the clown! Look at the comment from "Joeblow" beneath your comment. FFS, I've known turnips with more intelligence than him!

[@BlackEpyon]

@@joeblow2556 Alright. How the HELL do you come out of six or seven presidencies and figure that TRUMP is doing a good job? I can't recall a single time he's opened his mouth that he hasn't said something that was objectively false, as if we wouldn't notice. Never mind that he can't even speak coherently, he has NOT been straight with anything, other than not having a brain-mouth filter. Every person he's nominated to ANY position has been the least qualified person for the job, and America is falling apart at the seams while somehow under the delusion that it's improving. What has he touched that he hasn't fucked up worse than it was? I say this as an outsider. Trump is NOT making America great. The US is nothing more than a laughing stock now.

[@veecee3669]

Croissant mines, priceless! Stephen Colbert nails it again.

[@nameofnames296]

It hurts to hear the man... I would say talk but that is generous. Lets say make noise with his mouth.

[@judioregan4210]

Verbal diarrhoea at its worst.

[@viviennemcgreal7039]

Oh I needed that laugh. Well done Stephen. Bravo!

[@cisco8650]

Listening to Trump talk is always cringey.

[@110100111000]

If only we could make a supercut of all recordings of #DarthPyrite in chronological order and then, let, the MAGAmericans "smoke themselves sick" of him.Alas, it is likely to backfire.kzbin.info/www/bejne/r5XUnHV9Z5eHoZo

[@waryaawariiri1812]

It actually makes nauseous. And I had never listened to Dotard's speeches save the few short clips on this show.

[@Thegaoat]

He’s the annoying dumbfuck who back in high school would never stfu.

[@Opus313]

No surprise that Donald makes D-Day about himself. He probably thinks the "D" stands for Donald.

[@joannajamerson35]

Agreed

[@couragekarnga8735]

Haha Jimmy Kimmel said the same thing!

[@nicolettacinci4106]

Donald Duck Day 😂

[@Opus313]

@@couragekarnga8735 , It was the obvious joke. I had it prepared earlier in the day, but I liked my Nancy comment more.

[@couragekarnga8735]

@@Opus313 That's all right. I still laughed. Have a lovely weekend!

[@lagaman11]

"GIANT, FREAKING, FACE-PLANT"!!!!!!!

[@ericcole498]

I have a stiff neck from shaking my head sideways when Trump talks! Slapping my forehead makes it worse ! Trump's base suffer along with me also by their nodding yes no matter what Trump lies about.. Can we agree Trump is a pain in the Neck?

[@lagaman11]

Oh yes, along with other body parts. Trumo is a giant pain in the (insert body part here).

[@rwspal]

LOL! He talks about finding guides as if he discovered a lost tribe who showed him things he's never seen. Trump is truly bewildered by the world.

[@thomasraahauge5231]

That special needs class he went to wasn't allowed to leave campus I guess . . .

[@asgoodasitlooks]

How the f%#k did this guy become your President????? If he is still there after 2020 it's Shame on you America...

[@DoctorDeadbody]

Some will say it was Russia... and the worst type of people tend to stick around much longer than they should. We are in trouble.

[@couragekarnga8735]

Well, wherever you're from, know that the majority of us didn't vote for this lunatic.

[@DoctorDeadbody]

@@kashthrills Lol. Oh my.

[@donwadd9143]

SANE people will vote him in AGAIN you LOSER!

[@DoctorDeadbody]

@@donwadd9143 SANE??? Hahahahahaha. Okay.

[@MatrixDownload5150]

Sadly the GUIDES didn’t lead him to a cliff! A very long cliff!

[@robertnett9793]

Doesn't need to be very long, as long as it very high. Maybe with sharp and pointy rocks at the bottom. And sharks.

[@GottuboiBeachVolleyball]

TRUMP'S lack of knowledge to describe D-Day. 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️😬😩 (Cringed!)

[@joeblow2556]

And judging by your KZbin page you seem to spend a lot of time at the beach playing volleyball so you have no idea what went on on D-Day since you were not even a thought when it happened inside your parents weren't even I thought and when I mean by thought they did not even exist or the thought of them existing was not even close do the day of D-Day and I will admit neither was I but I have this to say who in the fuck made you King over us to tell us what is right and wrong you're fucking nobody dude you are a nobody why don't you go back to the beach which those Brave young soldiers were killed so that you can enjoy it go back and play your little volleyball game

[@meganmcdonald1171]

Joeblow what even are you ranting about?

[@GottuboiBeachVolleyball]

@@joeblow2556 Shut it and your rants!! WTH is your deal huh!

[@judioregan4210]

@@joeblow2556 - hey, Captain Blowhard. Have you heard of a little thing called punctuation? You know, commas, full/period stops, paragraphs. Why don't you try using them once in a while, you pointless, trolling little pipsqueak. That bit of verbal diarrhoea made my eyes bleed.

[@russellmcafee9412]

you didn't listen to the speech. you listened to carefully selected sound bites.so gullible

[@jenr-bet1147]

It is clear DJT never even read the cliff notes version. What a way with words....has the best words, freaking stable genius.

[@levil134]

jen R-Bet Maga 2020

[@jenr-bet1147]

Not even an original thought, again the best words.

[@ericcole498]

We need to send him the book THE Presidents Duties for Dummies !

[@dmiller5765]

How does he still sound like a student who didn't read the book, but fudges his way through a book report?

[@marshwetland3808]

Cuz he knows nothing about anything.

[@jcsjapan]

It's unbelievable how much he sounds like Bart in this Simpsons clip. It's not another "Simpsons predicted it" scene, but good grief. It's basically Trump to the T. haha kzbin.info/www/bejne/b3jUiWSnoLmdeKc

[@2756DC]

Because he didn't read the book he paid someone else to read it AND write the report

[@jwoolman5]

d miller - So many of us instantly leaped to that comparison - it's clearly the one common experience from schooldays that binds us all! I'm sure that it is not lost on all the veterans listening to President Tweeter also.

[@bluewinterstorm]

They may take our freedoms 😑 But they will never take 😐 *OUR TACOOOOOS!* 😲 🌮🍺🥑🍅 🏇🏇🏇🏇🏇🏇🏇

[@joeblow2556]

well blame the democrats for that

[@isaiasramirez8224]

It better not be hardshell tacos...he can keep those...

[@couragekarnga8735]

Future me: Well, democracy no longer exists, but at least I have a taco.

[@FO_Biggles]

He has the best words. But can't seem to string them together to make any kind of sense.

[@sirdeadlock]

Look up "Frasier eclectic".

[@maxvilla5558]

@@sirdeadlock Na

[@ClayLoomis1958]

Damn right, Biggles. He has the best memory too, but can't remember shit.

[@fannyizazaga]

Can't say anyone else delivers like Stephen....always laugh @ politics.

[@pablocruise678]

stephanie izazaga hi steph !!

[@fannyizazaga]

@@pablocruise678 hello :)..we know each other?

[@d3r4g45]

This person I'm told, a guide, told us things.

[@skullkid3350]

3:30 "No l will totally be right there unless of course l get bone spurs. Not many people know how painful they are, believe me

[@nunyabusiness5075]

SO painful, he couldn't even remember which foot when asked. Don't forget rain either, his precious hair might get wet. It's why he couldn't pay tribute to WWI vets. Of course, paying for ANYTHING is uncharacteristic of Trump (Putin's Bitch).

[@xlegacyzero8878]

I see what the speaker of the house is saying if trump is impeached and removed from office the vice president will most likely pardon him.

[@Gymnopediea]

And if the Senate gets the chance to acquit him, he won't be tried again.

[@DiamondMasters]

An empty barrel makes the most noise. That is Trump. He lies so effortlessly and says so many stupid things that it's normal for him.

[@brentwalker8596]

When you are born into wealth all you have to do is open your mouth and everyone just stands by in adulation saying "Yes Mr. Trump", "Certainly Mr. Trump". The dumbing down of the presidency in real time 24/7.

[@baruchben-david4196]

@@brentwalker8596 Well, some of that isn't really Trump's fault. He wasn't given a proper education. He wasn't told "No" often enough. He never learned how to deal with not getting everything he wanted.

[@levil134]

Maga 2020

[@DiamondMasters]

@@levil134 Brain dead Dumbasses who follow a loser con-man liar all go to hell 2020!

[@orchidorio]

And I'd bet Trump goes around the White House saying stupid or provocative things and reminding staff, "I (Trump) can say or do anything I want because I'm the president of the United States."

[@jamesr.9239]

"We have the thing that they want" ??? That must be why we buy SO much more from them than they do from us...yep , he has that tariff thingy nailed!

[@russellmcafee9412]

Xi is sweating at the table. He can't replace our money, we can replace their suppliers.

[@baruchben-david4196]

@Neil Mo Sadly, we have to pick through a lot of crap before we can find something Trump did that wasn't a disaster. As they say, even a stopped clock is right twice a day. Tariffs on Mexico, because of asylum seekers? Come on. Tell me that's a stroke of genius that will solve a problem.

[@russellmcafee9412]

hahahah there were 4 causes of the Great Depression, none of what you said. The rapid expansion of the Roaring 20's couldn't keep up and led to the market crash. The introduction of the credit market specifically via the automobile and loads of defaults and bank failures. Go back to school!

[@carrie0508]

@@russellmcafee9412 YOU left out Greedy Crakkas!!

[@russellmcafee9412]

bye racist

[@ginafox3229]

It's painful just to listen to Trump talk.....uggghhh

[@irmalake2023]

please keep him in America until you can get rid of him. No human being should be this stupid, dumb a real fool. He talks big nothingness. His people are impressed by his bad fitting suits and extra long ties, maybe they don't wear suits. The man is a clown, large ugly body and little stupid hands waving about.

[@alfredoterceroestrada9758]

It sure is

[@ExplosionChimp]

Especially whenever he's talking about the troops. The fact that our commander in chief, the leader of our armed forces, is a draft dodging coward is a truly sad fact.

[@arimpact]

been jumping ahead on these videos whenever they show him. I don't need these IQ decreasing clips.

[@paulburley7993]

The only thing more depressing than Trump in the presidency is just how many Americans are just like him.

[@takingbacktheplanet]

One of his best monologues ever.

[@nunyabudniz3077]

Ive missed you Colbert, welcome back!

[@ejanb999]

"guides tell us what happened and when" OMG

[@gogo-word]

Trump and his family are such an embarrassment. They don't make sense when they speak And why did they wear such ill-fitting clothing? Why did the taxpayers have to pay for a family entourage? Mostly I wonder when we will have a real president who is not assisted by Putin but who is elected by the citizens of the United States...

[@teerificbitch]

Since when was a family entourage of a US president in office not paid for by taxpayers?

[@elainebrooksbank5281]

vegan non extreme you mean apart from Putin himself answering “Yes I did. Yes I did” when asked in Helsinki if he wanted Trump elected and if he instructed people to make that happen? You mean apart from the number of indictments of Russian military personnel who hacked our electoral systems? You mean apart from Felix Sater’s memo saying they’d “got our boy elected?” You mean apart from over 160 contacts with Russians during the campaign? You mean apart so many on the transition team being selected because of their ties to Russia? You mean apart from Kushner trying to set up a back channel to Moscow in a Russian facility? No, I don’t suppose there’s much evidence at all.

[@scooters47]

@@vegannonextreme5318 Yes it's in the Mueller report.

[@telectronix1368]

@@vegannonextreme5318 Yes.

[@telectronix1368]

@@vegannonextreme5318 Which "claims"?

[@Siddiskongen]

Macron is alot more fluent in english than Trump.

[@justinskidmore9677]

Nice. The "Leader of the Free World" has the grasp of international landscape/policies of a 7th grader. It is wonderful that we also decided to throw all that knowledge to the side by selecting cabinet members and advisers who, as one of his own family members/advisers put it, are "traditionally unqualified" to even help him in that regard. Couple that with the fact that no one understands what the hell he is even talking about when he speaks in settings like this......and yeah the whole world is on edge. only deluded people ( mostly by FoxNews, lol) would be able to convince themselves that this guy is qualified / fit to be president, notwithstanding all the criminal activities that basically mean he should be in jail rather than the WH.

[@shkafishkafnjakboz4196]

and even guides

[@thomasraahauge5231]

Justin Skidmore: Of all my heart, I agree with almost all you said - except the "7th grader" part. Maybe Danish schools do a better job than American schools, because I would compare him with 2nd or 3rd graders - or 4th graders facing some form of challenges . . .