When He's Trying To Be Friends After A Situationship

[@lili-jv9ku]

“Let’s be friends” meaning “I’m gonna string you along as long as possible”

[@LotusSellers-r5z]

That's what that usually means. I make sure that I say it's platonic then.

[@annemarie7203]

Or just not be friends cause we can’t repair it no more

[@Cat-el4td]

Been in this situation wasted 2yrs

[@Mizzfattcattyo]

Started losing when I started giving second chances. Never again.

[@007stinkey]

My ex told me he was friends with all of his exes.😂 Not this ex😂✌️

[@faribaizadbakhsh2380]

Oh my ex , said the same thing . 😂😂😂. Not this ex either

[@vibsy21]

Mine too lmao 😂 not this ex either

[@Alquiescence]

Not this either LOL. Bye!

[@j-tenn226]

This is why I don’t have male friends, just acquaintances. They will always think they have a chance and create some complicated mess .

[@cherrylane79]

I have male friends, but I have never dated them. It's okay to them that I won't. But for a lying ex, I would not bother being friends with that.

[@tomiekalindsey9594]

He doesn’t want you but don’t want no one else to have you.He’s stringing you along until he find someone else.

[@annemarie7203]

Lol for me he admitted he found someone else. He can’t commit to me but STILL wants to be friends with me. I’m like nope he can’t have his cake and eat it too

[@midnightblue117]

And when they say they want a “relationship” ....you need to find out EXACTLY what that means because it could mean.....to them...(a casual, sexual, friends with benefit, etc).It doesn’t always mean a committed and long term one.....

[@cherrylane79]

Some guys just use you and want keep you as the spare, when their lies are revealed, by wanting to be your "friend". I don't keep friends who lie to me and use me.

[@mmc4214]

Good. It's a total joke. Where does this crap even come from? Does anyone know? Poor childhood parenting? I'd like to hear some videos on this topic. The why? The psychology of the why...why men act this way. Not how because we pretty much know that, but the WHY. WHAT CAUSES THIS?

[@Reshme77]

To stop someone from finding happiness and contentment from elsewhere just because they don't want to give it seems cruel to me

[@livwithnewinsight]

And selfish

[@dianalereve5402]

it *is* cruel

[@mmc4214]

It's the worst kind of living...So messed up. Just goes to show how messed up people really are...

[@ursh99]

I just went through this exact situation twice with the same person and I never even agreed to friendship. Now I’ve cut him off permanently.

[@dw6317]

Agree. Had a guy try this and I fell for it for about 5 seconds. It made absolutely no sense to me to be friends after the situation. He never saw me again and I cut off communication. He is now blocked. Haven’t seen him in over a year.

[@Ltise1980]

In the beginning stages of this right now and I plan on never seeing him again either! I’ve known him for almost 10 years and we went there. He used me for emotional support but would never see me outside of the bedroom. He told me that we are toxic and should stop having sex. I knew then that he’d started dealing with someone else. It was confirmed when I found out that he was taking a woman to a concert. He said that he still wanted to be friends because we were cool before our sexual relationship and I told him NO! And that I’m walking away from him and the situation. I blocked him and today makes 30 days since I last talked to him.

[@exquisiteb8984]

Same thing happened to me! I knew my guy for over 20 years and we went there. After the roller coaster, i surprised him by blocking him on Facebook & CUTTING HIM OFF. He was so shocked and surprised!

[@mmc4214]

Good going Ladies. This is what needs to happen to these messed-up toxic guys. I've had enough TOO! DONE.

[@CarolineJohnstone-dc3cc]

needed to hear this,,,very sobering. Love this guy.Hes on our side ladies.

[@mandycook2638]

I was in a similar situation. I really fell hard. We dated for just over 3 months. One day he ghosted me. I was really hurt and upset. But I decided to just let it be. I never reached out to him, never tried to call/message/talk to him. I didn’t hear from him for almost 6 months. Then he popped up on the radar. I ignored him for several weeks. Then one day I responded back with the “Hey Friend, message. He left me alone for a while. Every time he tries to message me, I call him friend. I never initiate any communication. But when he does, I always make sure he knows his position is in the friend zone. His communication attempts are way less frequent. I like it that way.

[@queenofthecrossroads2613]

Fantastic perspective! This empowers women to see that we should view ourselves as a complete package. Meaning simply …no relationship no access to my body OR my time! Like you stated the man that just wants to be “friends” is not loosing anything by “just being friends” because he doesn’t want a relationship anyway. The woman is meanwhile giving her time, even as a friend to a man that doesn’t have the same end goal as she does. She could be investing that time with building with a man that actually wants to be with her. Women have to understand that only men that want the same things as you do have access to your presence. The quicker and stronger your pull out game as a woman to men that are wasting your time, the better chance you’ll have of getting a guy that’s serious. Thanks this video was on point!

[@dianalereve5402]

this

[@raisaarce5880]

​@@dianalereve5402wooo! what a comment 🎉

[@dianalereve5402]

@@raisaarce5880 this! 😀

[@Dorafran86]

I wasn't sure if cutting off all contact because he "Was unsure" was right, now I know I made a good decision. And after Ive done this, he didn't go back nor tried to win me over. It's hard to shut away someone you already have feels for, that's why women do this is general. We are also somehow taught that acting as if nothing happened (he wasn't serious, I befriend him, nothing happened, not like my feelings were hurt) will put us in better light.

[@Shannon_luvscars]

This vid showed up right on time! This is what he’s trying to do to me…. Keep me around as a friend 🙄 my feelings were and are real… I can’t do that smh

[@cowgirlcandice833]

Me too! how funny is the timing

[@Shannon_luvscars]

@@cowgirlcandice833 right!

[@Ltise1980]

Same!!!! I walked away

[@fawziarhazouani383]

Saved me 🙏🏻❤️

[@mmc4214]

Me too. The more we walk the more they will realize they can't fool us anymore. The game was kinda fun until it wasn't...isn't...

[@MadBlackSwan]

Yeah, recently I hooked up with a guy again with whom I had a situationship before, because we have strong attraction and I was hoping we could have another chance...when i asked him, he said he just wants us to be friends for now and I replied with ok. I completely accepted the fact that it is how it is and the way he feels, but for me it was also the moment when it all ended along with the hookup. Sadly I do not want to be just friends and I just lost all lust for him alltogether.

[@Oshuin9]

Omg!!! Almost the same thing happened to me. We haven't seen each other in over 11 years. We reconnected only to find out he considers us as friends. What's confusing is that he is willing to let me live with him. I'm not putting myself through this. 😮

[@Bulbul90936]

We were in contact is almost 1.5 years, we were in a situationship for 6months, I sent him my personal images and he too..we had sex chat etc, we got intimate but not sex.. He wanted sex too from me, but before I wanted relationship. He knew that I am in love with him , that's why I am giving my time ,my love ..he always put me in a hope that later it can be a relationship,,, but day by day he became more emotionally distant, he becames emotionally unavailable...but only sexual conversation took placed. I got hurt many times,, got upset, cried a lot as I am in love with him..my guts tell me that it's going no where,, still I was in stuck situation. Finally I get control over my Emotions and asked him what do you want actually? He cleared that he wanted friend with benefits, not a relationship. Yesterday I dropped him finally. He messaged me today whole time but I didn't reply. I am really hurt, upset and still loves him but I Can't be his friend. Never. I just let him go..😊

[@TheNyny92]

I really needed to hear this! He is trying to convince me that he values me as a friend and trust me so doesn’t want to loose me as a friend blahblah..

[@mmc4214]

Too bad. That's BS. Friends don't treat friends that way...

[@moulee7448]

I got out of a 2 years situationship. I am thinking now how did I put myself in such a situation. Never ever going back. Cut off completely.

[@sujatahingave7132]

I am going crazy ryt i also ended this situationship last night but bcz of that i am not feeling well what i should do help me plsssss

[@AD-hh6dd]

Thanks for this! Perfect timing. I wish there were more videos out there about situationships. It’s all too common now

[@mmc4214]

I agree. Men are acting more like women than ever before...my opinion, and I'm sticking to it.

[@Melrose-ki1bc]

I’m in this situation right now. I feel pathetic

[@ParisianThinker]

I am so sorry! Follow the advice as soon as possible. You are not pathetic. You were just made unsure. I wish you the very best! 💮🌻

[@pam164]

Im confused, don't know what i want blah blah yep i been there, never again, just cut them off and if he really wants you he will put effort into keeping you.

[@Shannon_luvscars]

That’s what I just did. Blocked him. Hurts but it’s for the best.

[@pam164]

@@Shannon_luvscars Yes it hurts but you get your self respect back and that is all that matters.

[@marjoriemartinez9973]

3rd try 15 yrs later, he literally told me we can hang but hes not ready for commitment or responsibility but hecwas definitely benefitting from all of me acting luke a wife. Hes 68 yrs old im 55, i woke up one Friday was just done😢

[@modernwomanhood8022]

This video is 🎯.. And watch out for the subtle tactics when your ex tries to send a cute and quick message to get your attention - like he wants to just be "friendly"! Leave him on READ. ✌️

[@PinkHydrangea]

My ex wanted to be friends after our breakup. I told him to remove my number from his phone. I had already removed his from mine. No need to rehash old feelings.

[@sheila7909]

I was "friends with benefits" with this guy for 8 months. We see each other almost every day. He knows I want more. He wants to be 'just friends' it's not enough for me. He says he doesn't want to be with anyone or in a relationship. I'm so confused. He won't cut ties, keeping me on the back burner

[@peppermintPATTY63]

😂😂😂 you like being USED ... Poor tink.tink. 😂😂😂

[@sheila7909]

@@peppermintPATTY63 🙄🙄🙄

[@moriturite]

It's better you cut ties cause the moment he finds someone he wants to be in relationship with, he'll cut ties immediatelly without thinking twice. And you'll end up feeling horrible, used and worthless while he'll be having the time of his life as if you never existed at all. Talking from experience. Still recovering.

[@sheila7909]

@@moriturite I agree with you. I have cut ties with him now but he still texts me

[@ksref]

Been watching you for years and your straight talk is THE BEST

[@amandavictoriasewell7393]

He has another woman in his life that he loves, but she's a psycho. I was his sidechick. No more.

[@mina999_]

This is very well explained it makes so much sense thank you I knew it for all my life and recently I wanted to try the “friends” thing to see I I was too hard minded but nope never the fuck never again 😂 thanks

[@Joshualuv13]

This is exactly the video I need to hear right now as this is what's going down for me right now .cheers

[@CCrockergirl]

This is what o needed !! I met the guy back in September. He’s a singer of a band the next day I looked up the band on Instagram and I found him so I followed how many followed me back right away. We started jamming each other because we had chemistry the night of the show we were flirting with each other like crazy, well I found out I’m month and a half later that he was married🤣 he never told me he was by that time. I had a little butterflies like an idiot anyway, he said his wife was getting suspicious anyways. Suuuure he said he wanted to be friends with me, but he never engages with me on social media ever😂

[@ParisianThinker]

Dear women: Give men your presence only when they want the same things as you do. Pull out of their friends game! Those types of men are wasting your time. Devote your time to increasing your chances of finding a guy that’s serious & wants commitment.

[@amandavictoriasewell7393]

Genius. I am exactly in this place. I so needed to hear this,

[@Yahshija]

I did it to him first and he said no he wanted to be exclusive and then recently he did it to me. I guess karma.

[@Love_laugh_happy]

Thank you for videos like this not many of them out there ❤

[@mmc4214]

I agree. Lots of wishy washy stuff out there with no real solutions to these real & human problems. I like Elliots No BS attitude!

[@burgundymustard3811]

Thank you thank you THANK YOU, Elliot!!!

[@andi381]

What if you started off as friends for a few years and nothing physical and then you transitioned into being physical? Had a lot of talks about it and living far away and us both not wanting long distance so deciding to stay friends. Because we started off as friends and respected each others feelings/boundaries I don't feel cutting him off makes sense. I didn't want a relationship with him and it did get confusing with blurring those lines but at the end of the day, I'd rather just be friends. Have definitely encountered situationships like with the guy and dynamic you covered here and the best thing was for me to walk away and cut all ties- but those were guys who I dated. I was dating them to see if we would work in a relationship and they stalled me or tried to play me so I cut it off. If you're staying true to what you want and know you deserve, cutting off someone wasting your time and not wanting the same thing is the best move. Doesn't need to be super dramatic but being clear about that helps and then it frees you up to move on

[@mmc4214]

That's called No Contact. I'm there. Elliot refers to the wiggling & weazeling back to get ASSETS. NO THANK YOU. You lost the game. I consider myself a winner for doing it.

[@pendakhan852]

He says let us be friends before the relationship. I letf him .

[@memorablywonderful]

This is now exactly what I have needed, Thank u Elliot ❤

[@mmc4214]

Me too! ❤

[@misstango1001]

Yes. I’m resisting temptation but what your saying I know but need reinforcement to stay on track

[@angelachen4760]

Thank you!!! Love your no bullshit approach

[@amyli092]

I really hate that the person who wants to be just friends with me is someone who works with me. I also hate how I can't will myself to just say to his face that he's not worth my time and should never speak to me because, well, that's not going to happen because I work with him. I know that this situation isn't going to go away completely, and no one knows except my life coach and my other close friends. I don't want to blame myself. I'm tired of the emotional investment I have in this behind closed doors. I can see what kind of game he's playing, and it feels as if I can only recognize myself halfway whenever I'm around him.

[@isamar4073]

I’ve always love your videos … thank you Elliot …💙💚

[@jaclyn1755]

Good response, yeah I said no thank you. Walked away with some dignity & grace, hard but worth it.

[@evelyngarcia9678]

I like this guy makes me laugh! He is so smart !! Thats elliot u make my day thanks for the advice

[@christinaashcroft8716]

This guy I’ve been with for 2.5 years tells me he loves me but can’t have a full relationship- he says he is still spiritually married to his first wife- so he is still spiritually married!! I have fallen head over heels but I’m not putting up with this I am weaning myself off him - so not avoiding him but not involving him either

[@hirawarraich4027]

Elliott is saying truth!

[@pendakhan852]

I need this video to confermano that i did the rigth thing buy telling him im not looking for a friend and leave him.

[@GG17250]

I'm so glad I dumped his a@@ and shut this sh@t down !! I totally blindsided him when I said I'm done and never talk to me again. It felt good to stand up for myself and also teach this wishy washy guy a lesson.

[@ParisianThinker]

I am a US lawyer. Your advice is so true. I hope it is taken to heart.

[@fireeye33]

you should make more content Eliot, we missed u

[@ginettedelaney477]

Been there your absolutely right on. Big mistake.

[@mariliamoschoviti5915]

Amazing feedback! Thanks!

[@palakmehta365]

lol he was the one with the ball in his court always. He wanted the situationship and i didnt know what i wanted so i kept going along with it. but now i dont want to br strung along, He kept catapulting between friends and more than friends. I never knew where we were . But ive told him, i dont want anything more than a friendship anymore, because i genuinely care about him and i dont wanna loose the conection, but im never going to do more than that ever again.

[@Briana-hd9mk]

LOVE YOU ELLIOT ❤ALWAYS A GEM. :)

[@ssyynnn]

I was in a situationship for about a month and he was very consistant. I told him i think we should be friends because i dont have anymore situationships left in me. He said ok and immediately stop calling and texting me. We never had a talk about where this was going we were only seeing each other for less than a month. Did i over react or did i do the right thing?

[@wickedwanderlust1602]

No. You did the right thing. That’s all he wanted from you. He stopped

[@Tinyteaacupp]

I believe you overreacted in this situation. Because y’all was only talking for less than a month. How can you determine so fast that you want him to be your man? And how was he supposed to determine he wants you as his girl? Things take time. Relationships are build with time. Trust is build within time. Knowing you want more with a person def takes more time than a month. Learn the person your dealing with and allow them to know what you want and expecting for your future from the beginning.

[@edithk2997]

You did the right thing. He showed you that he isn't interested in being your friend or anything more once you cut off giving him vj

[@chiobabe2180]

You did the right thing. If he was interested in more he would have stepped up or stuck around

[@coffee_singing2315]

What if you met through mutual friends. Is it ok to still hang out with them in a group setting. I don’t want to be excluded from stuff our friends do and vice versa.

[@nancygonzalez9177]

Even worse. Before getting involved with you, he should’ve been 💯 sure he was serious. No respect for you or the friend group. I bet the friends would dump him if they knew what he did to you.

[@weirdhat922]

What if I told him we could be friends but premeditatively ghost him later when he tries to cash in in the friends thing?

[@latinsensationgurl27]

You are so right!!! 🗣️🗣️🗣️

[@ayo_k32]

What if we’re long distance and he’s trying to remain friends after a situationship? We traveled across the country to see each other a few times but we both sort of moved on, but now he’s saying hello again occasionally. He can’t really use my time because we can’t see each other unless we travel.

[@queenofthecrossroads2613]

Your “Time” should be understood as the mental and emotional energy you give him, not so much when you physically see him. So he’s still taking your “time”. If he’s starting to reach out again there is a reason WHY. You as a women need to also know what YOU want. If you want a relationship and he’s not on board with that m you should stop all communication because your only setting yourself up to waste your time or get hurt.

[@mmc4214]

The solution applies. Cut him off. It's not your fault & it is still a situationship. Use your time elsewhere and in real time not across the pond time.

[@devonslife7970]

I love this video 🤩

[@EBAYBONNIE]

6:40 😂😂 I love it.

[@RRthee1]

I appreciate this.

[@christinaashcroft8716]

He says I am free to find a relationship with someone else however I don’t want a relationship with anyone

[@oceanzennfamxo833]

I'm fine with doing this as we started off being friends for a year befor but I'm not waiting for him my love for him is true and authentic but I have boundaries And no we won't sleep together, so our time is probably over the phone hahahaha

[@nancygonzalez9177]

Run. He wasn’t your friend before. He befriended you to get you in bed. Evil man.

[@Brianna-yh7iy]

Thank you

[@centrerandom5640]

Girls do this to when they don't wanna be with u

[@nicolebiaggini5907]

What should I do if I find out that the guy I was seeing for 3 months suddenly wants to date a friend of his sister same culture& now he wants to keep me as a friend with benefits. I was angry when I found out but then he is coming to my place when he is bored but never see him on the weekend. He is seeing both of us.

[@wandayarbrough]

I'm just friends with this guy and that's all I want. No chemistry at all sadly. Not physically. I like thin guys. Elliot size. I want a Let's get it on type of chemistry. Does this exist still. I had it once but with the wrong guy. The new guy is opposite. Very sweet and honest and caring. It's like chemistry with the bad boy still no sex and nothing with the good guy.

[@bonajeee5654]

Same for women she broke up out of the blue and want to stay friends ... because all her exes are her friends... nah i went in nc and hope she will contact me for dating

[@centrerandom5640]

Well if your cool with being friends what's the problem?

[@evelyngarcia9678]

My ex dumped bcoz he thinks we are not made for each other BUT he wants to stay as FRIENDs- i said i am not interested to be as your friend i wanna be your lover not your friend but if you cant do that for me then i guess give me a call if you change your mind.😂😂😂😂then apply no contact you are right Elliot you need to set your value

[@Borjana82]

Needed this months ago.. 😐

[@dianalereve5402]

100% true.

[@rishikakapoor287]

What if the guy was only making out and no sex(i created this boundary he was ready) stating that he just want to stay friends, giving mix hints. Now in a long distance is very clear of the friendship he wants but I am still getting hurt. Was it a manipulation when he said that only making out doesn't come under pure fwb?

[@DD-ry4mm]

Very good ❤

[@MissMarceline-wp6oq]

I am not offering him anything period.

[@beckoscar]

What if we dated for 2 years and it wasn’t a bad break up. Why does he want to be friends

[@moulee7448]

Leave them

[@staciemae]

I feel personally attacked 😂

[@angeninetytwo]

Are you acoustic?

[@rosemariemerzlak3856]

Nope I don't have the time

[@EdelweisSusie]

So how do you explain the scenario when a couple break up (for whatever reason), go their separate ways, marry other partners - then find one another after, say, 30 years? Are we meant to believe that either partner is just being sneaky, has ulterior motives, wants to f with our minds? No, Elliot - there are in many instances, genuine people with genuine reasons for returning after a break-up. Not everyone is to be doubted!!

[@devonslife7970]

Oops I did it again 😓🤣

[@evilsudoku8084]

Only date this guy for 1.5 month..already feel hot and cold, disappears for days then comes back to hang out. Said he needs more time to gets know me, said he still feel there’s a huge hole between us….I’m thinking to cut him off but not sure if 1.5 month us too early?

[@cherrylane79]

Hot and cold is not a good sign.

[@evilsudoku8084]

@@cherrylane79 I know, I ended it with him 2 weeks ago. He agreed and he wants us to hang out sometimes. Kinda want to just block him that would be much easier

[@flowertot786]

Hey do u have an update

[@evilsudoku8084]

@@flowertot786 After that, we were on and off for six months. Later, I discovered he was seeing both me and another girl at the same time, which explained his hot-and-cold behavior. He wouldn’t admit it, but I saw posts from the other girl, who also had no idea she wasn’t the only one. That’s when I decided to block him.

[@misaberry]

Okay I disagree with this! I have a man in my life who i am best friends with post breakup. I was with him for 5 years and then he broke it off, and it broke me then for a year after I was crying, wanting to be with him, then I moved on, then the next year he was crying wanting to be with me, and now he has a girlfriend and we still talk almost every day, since we value each other too much to just block each other out of our lives. It was hard and took a long time to figure out, but it’s not impossible. We studied teal swans video together “how to break up and be friends”

[@mariee3658]

It sounds y’all don’t have boundaries and just have eachother around as a backups you both know if nobody else is there at the moment you can cry to eachother and try again until either you or them find another person to play with. I don’t believe anyone can look for or be in a healthy relationships if they are still attached to their past especially like this. How can you yourself trust your future partner when you have this dynamic with an ex you’ll never be able to fully give yourself and love to that future partner it’s unfair to both of you

[@lori8885]

Damnn thanks

[@twinsoultarot473]

Unless it's a friendship but with benefits, I don't see how it benefits the guy at all

[@LoveJehovah]

Same here

[@fishstickbio594]

Better do a background check first and see with whom you are talking ….he might have hidden child support to pay and do not even know it ….

[@shaylagoogle3097]

Guys are werid. I feel if you don't know what you want and I do. Il make sure to keep going on without you.

[@virgomelody1529]

Mmmmh 😪

[@Diane-i4z]

But what if he is really gay and using you as a "beard".......

[@Trynnagetmydegree__]

Thanks for drilling this in my head🥹✨