When Humans Say Hold My Beer The Galaxy Now Automatically Raises Threat Level To Maximum | HFY

[@Sci-FiRealm]

Every Species Still Tells Stories About The Day Deathworlders Decided To Stop Being Nice | HFY kzbin.info/www/bejne/mnO2e5qpaNSkiNE

[@alexandrastanford5926]

Exactly!

[@ParaNoid816]

As a redneck maintenance worker, I can share our phrase for this: If it seems stupid, but it works, then it ain't stupid.

[@Jamhael1]

*banjo music starts playing in a starship, with a 'yeehaw' scream being heard in the background*

[@vanhasydan4754]

Agreed.

[@trumprocks5795]

​@@Jamhael1😂😂

[@bradhoward9701]

"the line betweeen genius and insanity is often only defined by level of success"

[@storrmhammered]

if it's stupid but works, it still stupid but you lucked out

[@delmccormack7001]

"Hold on. I saw this in a cartoon once." Absolutely awesome.

[@angelmatiastorres]

No... NOOO- THAT'S FUCKING WORSE 😂

[@zacharyhill4742]

Finn and Ferb vibes.

[@sandeman1776]

Stone Cold Steve Austin released an entire generation of people with the phrase "CAN I GET A HELL YEAH?!" And then those people raised their children with the same philosophy.

[@ДжексонДиринг]

Hold on I saw this in a toothpaste ad

[@onisatsugaisha689]

hold on i DREAMED of this once, imagine how they'd look centuries of advancement and all it took was a single one night dream for this guy at maintenance hahahahaha.

[@Rime_in_Retrograde]

"physically impossible, mathematically improbable, and visually traumatizing" - LOL, definitely my favorite line in the story XD

[@rundave77]

I added it to my "Note of Quotes"

[@lorddarthkairos01]

It's like driving in Lima XD

[@damocles8417]

The power wasn’t in the phrase “hold my beer”, the power originated from the human wanting to get back to his beer as quickly as possible.

[@RX0_GundamUnicorn]

While making sure the problem will not interrupt them anytime soon, possibly indefinitely

[@brittanys2765]

It’s true it’s not the thing holding my beer. It’s not the humans are gonna want that beer back as soon as possible. They will do anything and you know it’s even worse if a human says hold my second beer.

[@themichael3410]

True, too true. We just want the suffering/malfunction to end so we say "hold my beer" so we can take care of the problem and, as you said, get back to our beer before it gets warm and we lose our buzz.

[@cchastant8251]

(giggling!) The number of times someone has instructed me to NOT use 'percussive maintenance' to fix something, yet using it DID fix the issue...

[@ianbelletti6241]

Yup. Percussive maintenance usually works if something is slightly stuck or a connection is loose. It also works if something is bent out of alignment.

[@rondohunter8966]

@@cchastant8251 That distinguishes the real mechanic from the rookie.

[@nosuchthingasahandlefools]

I swear, we need a Laugh emote over here.

[@philipstanley5611]

​@@rondohunter8966 mechanics have a special hammer for whacking things that need some help. You haven't worked on enough stuff if you don't have like three/ four mallets for smacking things

[@BuhoPnu]

@@nosuchthingasahandlefools😂😂😂

[@risingwind8943]

"He's quantum tunneling between dance moves that should be physically impossible" This is a peak line and I'm definitely going to use it.

[@nathanbrown8196]

And hes... he's DABBING!?

[@kenjones9326]

The peace treaty was singed amid something Brooks called the "Electric Slide." But that was just the beginning.

[@Sithspit_Rogue]

This is the best HFY since the classic "Humans Don't Give A Fuck". I laughed, I cried...it moved me, Bob!

[@UhOhDovah]

Oh wow a veggie tales reference. Nobody besides me says this lol or so I thought

[@Sithspit_Rogue]

Kids (and we) loved them back in the day. I still have the hairbrush song performed by Audio Adrenaline on my driving playlist.

[@alexandrastanford5926]

I absolutely love this! 😅

[@zathtanks]

''Human was told its impossible. If it's impossible we will do it."

[@jamieboyer3398]

"That'll be 10,000 credits." "But all you did was kick this highly delicate machine?" "Exactly, 100 credits for the kicks, 9,900 credits for knowing where to kick."

[@driverr988]

Theory: Humanity is confined, compressed, and controlled chaos operating at half capacity while holding a beverage. When phrase is uttered and beverage handed off, controlled chaos limiters are removed. Thoughts?

[@zenthon]

i find this: hold my beer APROVED!

[@susan-of6xd]

Hahahahahaaaaaa!

If there was ever a thing that can be more than 100% correct, it is this 200% correct statement.

[@hoanglinhvu106]

from what I know, we humans tend to overthink everything, making them way more difficult than it should be. The "hold my beverage" is like a signal to our brain "don't think, just do" and you don't understand how easy things are when we just do what we know, and not think about what we don't know

[@Luis-qo5ir]

Yes

[@salazengrum6265]

That is the thing with humans, we start with doing the impossible and then move on to the hard part 😂😂😂

[@AJB2K3]

Impossible is easy, explaining it is the difficult part.

[@fezenclop]

😂😂😂

[@jakantogenie]

The impossible part being doing it consistently on purpose

[@Odog787]

@@AJB2K3that’s the truth! My boss constantly puts me on jobs that are shit terrain, when I get done he always says there’s no way I shouldn’t have rolled my drill over and asks me to explain how I did the job. I can’t🤷‍♂️ I just shrug and tell him I just close my eyes and go for it😂 It’s become a running joke for the past 20 years

[@scottrackley4457]

@@Odog787 I've done this many times as a toolmaker. Engineer: "There's no way this can be fabricated, much less implemented" Me: "Some would think so." Proceed to implement it as designed, under budget. Engineer: "Well damn."

[@pavilpezinsky3914]

A seperate narration needs to be done discussing how "whats the worst that could happen" balances out "hold my (beverage)"

[@MatthewKelley-mq4ce]

Now ain't that the truth

[@UnboundMotionMusic-pu2zu]

Something about we're also fhd only ones who have to deal with Murphy would be hilarious

[@scottrackley4457]

@@UnboundMotionMusic-pu2zu and when we find that sonuvabitch...

[@VladDracul-c6o]

The third installment could be titled "Well that didn't work."

[@KathleenFlournoy-hu3pk]

Great idea!!!!

[@scusiscusi5073]

This reads like a segment of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and I'm here for it.

[@elfdogre2181]

They did mention the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster.

[@OublietteTight]

Exactly!

[@kwartylion8134]

Well Odds of Douglas Adams recognizing it as part of hitchhiker's universe (him being dead and all) are so mind bogingly improbable, that it's definitely a part of it

[@OublietteTight]

@kwartylion8134 I do so adore all 4 books in his trilogy. 😁

[@laughingaardvark3128]

I think it's five books in the trilogy.

[@RealEnerjak]

When we say "Hold my beer", the laws of probability are more like suggestions rather than guidlines.

[@Texas240]

"More like guidelines than actual rules"

[@OublietteTight]

Hold my beer, but don't drink any. Hahaha

[@Citra_188]

We're Fate's favourite children because we're a menace, so naturally, the rule of the universe fold under our whims!

[@OublietteTight]

@Citra_188 hahaha indeed!

[@perbjrnhansen9939]

Funny as hell “The galactic entity ended up working at a moderately successful bar”🤣🤣

[@nathanfranklin2115]

While delivering my mail route, I hit a pothole and and broke the upper inlet off the radiator on my Toyota. Blew out all the coolant and immediately overheated. I fixed it with the handle of an angle grinder, zip ties, super glue and baking soda. Finished my mail route and drove 45 minutes home just fine!

[@shookings]

I replaced my alternator belt with a pair of pantyhose, a janky old pipe wrench, and a crowbar. driving gingerly, it drove for three days until payday

[@kezmet5998]

The aliens will some day realise that all those episodes of MacGyver were just training vignettes... 🤣

[@hasturxix]

"Nah they're just fancy surge protectors. Watch this!" Dude that line had me genuinely laughing lmao

[@ianbelletti6241]

It's a wonder how these aliens even got to space. They obviously haven't learned that the humans are using physics to complete their crazy acts.

[@rangav248]

To be fair, our relationship with Physics is... complicated😅

[@Chris-cv1ll]

Physics is weird…especially when getting down past the subatomic

[@Shendril]

'...and one very confused barista.' THAT cracked me! Just pure bliss! OH.. and the 'most questionably qualified problem solvers'. XD

[@williamwebb5873]

Douglas Adams and terry Pratchett would both be proud of this absolute masterpiece. This is the greatest story on the Sci-fi channel. By a bloody long shot :)

[@cb5117]

I haven’t laughed like that in soooo long. I absolutely love this style of humor, and the writer(s) continued to top themselves for FOURTY minutes. The ability to create, generate, and induce such uncontrollable exuberance and chaotic glee during such dark times, constitutes a truly purposeful gift of that rarest of uncommon talent. Health and happiness to you and yours my friend.

[@joeycampbell940]

"stop trying to moonwalk through time" a phrase i never thought i would hear and also nearly killed me.

[@worstestminipainter2391]

Never thought you would hear. Never thought that you would have needed to hear it.

[@vanhasydan4754]

Comical gold. Yes, we do sometimes think in unexpected or seemingly strange ways and over the years I've witnessed a person moments where the person somehow percieved things you'd think impossible. And yes, I've experienced such things myself.

[@Perurikun]

I'm telling you Douglas Adams would be proud! 🤣👊🖖

[@Sattrax]

I think I saw him at the Cafe, right before the end of time.

[@joangordoneieio]

loved that too

[@ronkochheiser45]

Yep, that was right along his style.

[@tellyfanatic]

I thought it was very him.

[@rondohunter8966]

@@Sattrax I missed the memo. My planet got bulldozed...or something similar.

[@1amTheory]

This is the best. I personally only truly feel alive during the Hold My Beer moments. For most my adult life, this is how I have made a living once I discovered there was an actual purpose for all this information running around in my head. Great story

[@jefflanduyt6750]

This is the best story yet. I've said, "Hold my..." too many times at work.

[@elquistidore]

"And... and.. hes dabbing" fucking killed me

[@MonumentToSin]

"Hold my _____" followed by "watch this shit" are absolutely magic words

[@Josh-z5b]

“Tony, stop trying to moon walk through time!!” Fantastic 😂

[@BucktheWonderDog]

"It's really stupid." OMG, this whole thing was great. Too funny.

[@alcinoribeiro3325]

The fusion core asking for employee benefits crack me up😂😂😂

[@theeinertia4106]

Same lmfao, the whole thing made my day

[@TheLostInWar]

5 minutes in, and im dying laughing. I've heard lots of storys, but this is the most funy so far!😂😂😂😂

[@mikeorjimmy2885]

Double Ditto

[@briangarrett710]

They just didn’t know it’s was impossible 🤷‍♂️so they did it anyway… I love that part

[@Monkeywrench542]

As a former soldier, I hated it when the 1st Sgt would say "hold my coffee ".

[@andrewjohnson5050]

"But that breaks the laws of physics." "Pfft, you mean the suggestions of physics."

[@ryanhoule4415]

“But that breaks the laws of physics!” “I never studied law.”

[@sgtjarhead99]

Yeah. Jenny was spot on regarding parallel parking in Boston. 😅

[@jmbrady1]

what many of us humans don't realize is that what is normal to us, might not be normal to others

What? You think aliens might think we are strange for throwing ourselves out of perfectly good aircraft or off of cliffs for fun? Golly dont let them know about how we like to drink poison, sometimes until we vomit, after work and on weekends for enjoyment.

[@likeblawk168]

So humans are basically Orkz from WH40K they do not know what kind of power they hold

[@twilink5810]

I was searching for a comment like that 👍

[@royscarbrough3589]

The next one should discuss the difference of thinking beers and working beers. Best thing of day.

[@kerryperkins2989]

This is up there with When a human says Whoops. 😂

[@MultiTimelady]

Was thinking the same thing. You've posted it before I did. So saved me time

[@UnboundMotionMusic-pu2zu]

If a human says woops either run or pray, depending on what they were messing with

[@maximillian7001]

I can't recall wich book series( dragonlance?) had gnomes saying whoops being the most terrifying thing in the universe, having people diving for cover 😂

[@bluekitty3731]

Or when humans say" that wasn't supposed to happen" run!

[@pugsabi]

Eh, what's the worst that can happen.

[@GeoFry3]

Expansion of the Heinlin book "The cat that walked through walls". The cat never learned that it couldn't just walk through walls, so it did.

[@rairai3517]

Love Heinlin the moon is a harsh mistress is a good read .....just saying......

[@Texas240]

Reminds me of "Men Who Stare at Goats" (2009, George Clooney, Ewan McGregor)

[@marycrawford9428]

The cat was just tired of looking for The Door Into Summer.

[@wstavis3135]

Or the Douglas Adams' man who learned to fly by throwing himself at the ground, and missing?

[@StevenSpillerUK]

@@wstavis3135 Just make sure something dstracts you at the last moment

[@loadedlamp]

"What would a human with a beard do" 😂😂

[@minemaster2392]

man: "Hold my beer." Everybody else: "oh shit, RUN!"

[@TaurusSystem]

As someone that's read Terry Pratchett, Douglas Adams and loved their works, this is gold! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@koJOcik]

2nd best after the "When Human says Whoops..."

[@teeodee4924]

We now need when a human says oh shit!

[@EdKohl-z4c]

​@@teeodee4924 or "Well, Damn".

[@macandcheese4138]

This made me laugh harder than it needed to "That trick i learned parallel parking in Boston"

[@jongault7527]

The generator kicking is known as external machical agitation in the navy.

[@Paddy_Nithuigim]

Absolutely FANTASTIC! Must have been written by the Grimm brother with a sense of humor.

[@Seirra-117wastaken]

19:00 “Beverage activated reality distortion field” was not on the list of things i thought i would hear today

[@joangordoneieio]

been reading & watching Sci Fi for 60 years. THIS was totally satisfying!

[@DeanTownsend-i7z]

More like this please. Awesome. Laughed the whole way through.

[@rbear1231]

can't...stop...laughing...except here in alaska we dont ask people to hold our beers...we do that shit one handed

[@J-Del]

This was so absolutely... Mind boggling. I'm overwhelmed, confused, intrigued my mind is blown... I can't tell if I'm elated by this or suffering an existential crisis.

[@dominiking69]

Yes

[@gwolfstahl]

These stories are very fond of ' Sweet Home Alabama', percussive maintenance, trepidation, existential crises, 'Hold My Beer', MacGyver, Dr Who, StarTrek, Stargate, Monty Python, (names like Blorp, Zizksk, Pip), RickRolls,(the surnames: Chen, Rodriguez), interpretive dance, Deathworld, disco, Spicy food, Tuesday, The need to update insurance &/or wills...etc

[@terraven]

'Quit trying to moonwalk through time. ' killed me

[@portmoneul]

Thank God nobody tried:" hold my moonshine" 😂😂😂

[@davidb4090]

😂they had to do a galaxy wide AI purge over memetic mimicry 😂

[@theeinertia4106]

I was dying laughing at that the ai probably going: Hold my coolant, I got this.

[@davidb4090]

@ right!? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@davidb4090]

Hold my liquid coolant, I got this 😎

[@theeinertia4106]

@@davidb4090 I died laughing when they tried to get the fusion core to work. Well technically it did and it's now demanding employee benefits 🤣🤣.

[@mantas8443]

Our optics professor once successfully explained light polarization using a chair and a rope.

[@pebrede]

Company Motto. The difficult we do straight away, The impossible takes a bit longer.

[@essjam]

Really enjoyed this one. Terrific comedy from a simple premise. Well done and thanks for the laughs.

[@annevoss4302]

In the best Douglas Adam’s tradition. 😂

[@jamesbondoo81]

also included a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster Great work

[@Speedfly1]

Now THAT was funny all the way through. Love it, Keep it up.

[@73whitezz]

That was pretty funny😂

[@ShotJon]

This might be one of the greatest nods to Hitchhikers guide to galaxy ever written.

[@dominiking69]

"Nobody told them it was impossible...so they did it anyway" this was a really fun story lmao

[@MrSchism]

I love the understated joke that just saying to hold his spraybottle caused Dax to adjourn the meeting, thus calming it down. Also: If something's quantum locked, applying a wrench makes it have to deal with a wrench that's not entangled, bringing it temporarily out of lock and permitting it to move. Obviously.

[@aurorialgaming1935]

"The fusion core somehow developed sentience." I have no words for this one.

[@daviddixon583]

It’s been a while since a HFY story has made me giggle this one is like a chapter out of the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy, love it!

[@31edwardreyes]

Laughing nonstop this is great love this "Tony stop trying to moonwalk through TIME"

[@johnmcdonald2201]

This is one of the most brilliant and screwiest cosmic tales I've ever read. My congratulations to its author! I still have a smile on my face and it's been a half hour since I finished listening the story. I would love to see this made into a movie! Grandpa Mac

[@dragonoctavius]

Omg thank you for this. Some of my favorite stories are humans successfully traversing the stars via a series of well hearted bumbling situations

[@narcoticman7310]

Imagine this is real, we're just a bunch of cartoon characters who casually destroy the rules of reality 😂😂😂

[@Robertlynschultz]

Doug Adams got into the ‘shoooms🤣🤣🤣

[@David-jl1pk]

I laughed out loud when I heard Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster.😂🍸

[@DyingJ]

The “If you can’t beat them serve them” part had me dying you can just feel the amount of, I give up and I no longer care.

[@harogathpicard]

I need this as a TV show. Im hurting internally. This is how every country job is finished if there is a problem.

[@JustifiablyAngry]

“Bob the former cosmic horror began mixing drinks. Just another Tuesday. Or possibly a Friday”

[@petergaskin1811]

The best I've ever heard. Finally the AI has ditched the Mills & Boon sci-fi nonsense library for something real. I mean " I saw this in a Cartoon once". Priceless.

[@justagigilo1]

Honestly this is the best laugh out loud I've had all year, translate it into all human languages asap and transmit world wide by all social media available, constantly increasing tears of laughter all the way through, absofukinglutely comedy gold, Adams and Pratchett would love it and Dick would say it's all true and probably be right!

[@Saintedlight]

"If you can't beat them, Serve them" HAHAHAHAHAHHA

[@BookmakerMakes]

This tale is essentially what would happen in Warhammer 40k if the Adeptus Mechanicus were forced to work with the Orks. "That's... That not physically possible! It goes against physics!" "Physics? Do I look like a sodding Blood Axe to you?"

[@HerronARF]

17:25 Of course the first thing we teach a new species is how to play poker 😂

[@oldmanandthesea3384]

Enjoyed the classic SYFY references. For thirty years that was my job for the USPS. My nickname followed me to every new location and preceded me to a couple of them. MacGuyver. The first one. ❤

[@richardtarver5293]

Finally. One that made me belly laugh more than once. Thank you.

[@jacobdavis6916]

What the Council fails to realize is that this isn't the norm; merely the successes. We just don't talk about the numerous times it goes wrong; those times tend to end in forced confinement, under medical supervision, and/or awaiting burial prep. However, as an IT person, I can appreciate percussive maintenance still being able to fix things.

[@kjohnson9306]

I'd tell you to hold my iced tea, but I was choking on it from laughing at this.

[@fumikagetokoyami.]

Hold my root beer I'm gonna find a way for people to laugh without choking on their drink

[@storystudios6929]

Other phrases include "Hold my hoops" "Oh no you didn't" "Watch this" "It could be worse" "It is quite" ((when used in an ER or said by any medical and emergency personnel)) "Almost got it" "Not today" Us humans have a strong determination.

[@jeffhunter3402]

An absolute gem of a story!

[@DemonKingVI]

And so, Wisconsin introduced the galaxy to the joys of Minigolf!

[@AliceI7764]

This was great fun. More of this kind of well-rounded cheekyness would be eagerly welcomed. 👍

[@taz2491]

I almost spit my coffee listening to this. Genius! 😂😂😂

[@marthafisher8975]

Lmao there was a middle ground, help the human while recording 🤣

[@marthafisher8975]

Also the fact that Time Lords are mentioned is funny 😁

[@ArgonianSkaleel]

for extra ridiculous effects, cheer for them

[@deviousmousey]

This may honestly be my favorite of these sci fi stories I've ever listened to. Absolutely perfect.

[@feralbluee]

ROTFL 🤣😂 love this one. The Gargle blaster! Perfect!

[@Redeemed79th]

lol😂😂😂😂😂😂 this is officially my new favorite comedy scifi channel.

[@thatguy-pl2cu]

Damn, this is giving hitchhikers guide to the galaxy vibes. Best story like this I've listened to. Absolutely my favorite now.

[@shawnadams1460]

This is by far the funniest thing I have listened to in a while, and I am all here for it. I have seen this phenomenon in person so many times it is crazy. I was in the Navy and saw it work time after time, and can only imagine how it would make another species feal to see it in person...too funny!!

[@debrabosch3362]

Hysterical. Story was great but the dance battle needed a bit of a tweek.....Here, hold my beer.......

[@404colors7]

The story is so outrageously fun to listen to that I don’t want it to end so I’m gonna save it for later

[@rickdavis4456]

I like the similar video, "When a human says oops."