When it's your first day in prison

[@Tommy5005]

When he said”If you really wanna stay protected….” I was expecting VPN ad

[@ashishawasthi9796]

That is such a Zach thing to do

[@ReaIHuman]

Same

[@peterg76yt]

That's the least of his worries.

[@V_ChessGuy]

@@squishy-tomato aint no way 💀💀💀

[@VegetaRules1000]

Same

[@gideonbrown4215]

“I really nervous about my first time. Does it hurt.” “No.” He… came up with that answer a bit too quickly.

[@bleack8701]

It depends on who's on which end

[@pineappleparty1624]

grammatically the topic was blows, so no, it doesn't hurt :P

[@brycethoreson9216]

You get used to it

[@mushroomjuise2349]

if the kidnappers will appear in this series it will be absolute cinema

[@michasokoowski6651]

Imagine them kidnapping the jail overseer...

[@JadeyCatgirl99]

@@michasokoowski6651 then Jigsaw tries to teach them a lesson, but his trap fails.

[@mahpell7173]

I see the birth of another lore-deep series.

[@Mrpersonultra]

That’s only gonna happen if you are willing and able to watch the full series

[@Ashaira]

10$ says this is the kidnappers backstory.

[@mahpell7173]

@@Mrpersonultra I am willing AND able.

[@rinneganitachi4840]

Yeah i want part 2 and 3 haha

[@Crazycreeper349]

@@Ashairaomg that would be amazing

[@robby7337]

"Who brings me Sushi?" Well I'm sorry there's only sausages in prison.

[@Tekzel]

Unless you're in a woman's prison. Then it's mostly clams with the occasional sausage.

[@ashamansedai]

(ಡ⁠ ͜⁠ ⁠ʖ⁠ ⁠ಡ)

[@Abyss777]

explain URSELF my mind is wandering in places it shouldnt....... UGH NOW IM IMAGINING TOOOO

[@lforlight]

Unless cut into pieces, a sushi roll is essentially a rice sausage

[@ViceCoin]

I failed a CO video exam. An inmate complained about how his steak was cooked.😅

[@owobi_2991]

Honestly Zach just figured out how to gasp and sound like a goose being strangled, and wanted a skit that he'd somehow be able to use it in

[@TaurielTheElf]

The fact that the new guy never once asks how the other guy has a knife is either missed opportunity or perfectly on the spot.

[@EC-dz4bq]

don't ask too many questions... Where he gets what is his own business. Good way to get poked.

[@brycethoreson9216]

​@@EC-dz4bq That means two things 😂

[@mangagirl9132]

That scream was everything Zach😂

[@ch4.hayabusa]

No it wasn't shut up. OMG it's soooo annoying

[@adamnetski7887]

1:06 that screech sent him back to puberty

[@Mr_Crumbles998]

I don't think a prision inmate who killed 12 people because he didn't like their faces will have this much patience for all of your questions.

[@pineappleparty1624]

He must like his face then lol.

[@JoataVideos]

@@pineappleparty1624 If you look attentively enough, they do look kind of similar to each other.

[@pineappleparty1624]

@@JoataVideos mhm

[@cowlinator]

He has a beautiful face, quite a good looking face

[@TRG_R17]

Reply 5

[@darkermatter125.35]

Really loving early content from my surprise sub! Knew a lot of ex-cons from working in kitchens, so for people curious about male prisons: 1) dropping the soap is exaggerated by a lot, but can be a concern 2) if you need to take a dump, flush a lot as you go so it makes it less unpleasant for others 3) the food is absolute trash, but how bad does depend on the prison. The best I've heard of is Vermont, so much so that a friend offered to do double the time there instead of the state he had to be locked up in next 4) side hustles are how you survive/thrive. So if you are out there doing crimes, learn how to cook with a microwave, do prison tattoos, do hair, ect., lol. Or don't do crimes, but it is your life, so it's not my place to tell you how to live. Women's prisons have other challenges. Both need WAY more funding and legislation lol.

[@pikleman5880]

It would also probably help if the prisons weren't run to make profit for shareholders.

[@darkermatter125.35]

@@pikleman5880 Oh 1000%... was keeping it a bit lighter in my comment just because of the video, but I have MANY issues with the prison industrial complex lol. It ALSO doesn't help that now private prisons are also used for people at the border, so that they can profit off of their labor... and that the stock prices for the private prison companies shot up after the recent election 🙄. Not terrifying and 100% a sign of what is to come at all... Not to mention the fact that it is literally the law that once someone is in the custody of the government, they are responsible for their wellbeing, which means they are required to give them access to health care, but they just let people suffer, and quite frequently pass away from neglect. The use of solitary confinement is also literally t0rt*r3 (especially how we do it), but we are just like "but how else do we control the people we treat terribly?" This is why Norway (I believe, if not one of their neighbors), refuses to extradite criminals to the US unless the charges are really serious, because they view our prisons as unbelievably barbaric.

[@IllisiaAdams]

​@@pikleman5880The US crime system is so fecked :-( So is the UK, to be honest... - solitary confinement is a crime against humanity, I swear... - overcrowding - murders and self-un-lifing happen far too often in them - using prisoners as labour - for-profit system means it's in the corporations' best interest to have people do as much time as possible, even for the smallest crimes or with little evidence, etc - if you're accused of a crime but cannot afford bail money, in to the jail you go until your hearing, yaaaay - I could go on.

[@louisrobitaille5810]

@@pikleman5880They're not even run that way, that's the probem. They could make so much more money if they forced the prisoners to make useful stuff for society and sold the things made, kinda like mini-factories, but they don't 🤷‍♂️.

[@KavinKrishnaswamy]

The tiny screams were perfect!

[@ViltrumiteIsRite99]

Tom and Jerry lvl

[@fourikaunix5407]

This smells like an origin story for our favourite kidnappers.

[@justifiably_stupid4998]

Jail is like a boot camp for criminality. Everyone there is like "and I would have gotten away with it too, if not for those meddling kids and their dog." They all train each other how not to get caught next time.

[@HReiss0]

When the video is recommended within a minute of being released

[@carmen_says_hi]

I took that to mean "released from prison!" 🤣My bad!

[@HReiss0]

Dammmm that's way funnier tbh lol​@@carmen_says_hi

[@mafia_boss_neto]

When it started I thought "Imagine if he says "I'm in for piracy or downloading games illegally", lmao

[@TotallyAnEarthling]

I like that members get to see this over a week before us

[@darkalexander9158]

​@@TotallyAnEarthlingPretty cool right? I'm not a member but I think that adds a bit of motivation to becoming one.

[@joeker5208]

0:25 that is always the most important question at anytime, anywhere. And the fact that this guy is saying that it’s “not important” and “won’t hurt”, tells me that he’s definitely gonna be ur first

[@rybson2s023]

I just realized that Zach have been doing daily since 1st of December and honestly I'm kind of excited

[@Sanbi35]

He was too busy struggling with NNN to make videos. But now it’s over, and on to holiday season. Expect a ton of videos this month.

[@IsaiahWagner-jx9kb]

Video Idea: The Devil finds out Satanists don’t actually believe in him

[@shawnwolf5961]

This would be an amazing video!

[@bielhelp]

Next one will be "When it's your last day in prison"

[@peterg76yt]

If only we had a number bigger than one.

[@Eggette]

​@@peterg76yt Like if there were 2 ones, what would we call that?

[@海伯庵]

@@Eggette If there were two 1s, then I think that would be called.... A tree? Because, like, a tree was a seed at one point and now at this one point... It's a tree. So. After 1, it's Tree.

[@bullshark3771]

I was gifted a membership and it’s legit been amazing. I suggest yall support this mother and I’m continuing mine once the gift is up.

[@ZachStarHimself]

thanks so much!

[@titok0018]

​@@ZachStarHimselfi just realized you have the greatest name ever!😊

[@GeezSus]

@@ZachStarHimself 9 days is crazy, so you're telling me members have watched the next 9-10 videos of December already?

[@ZlatnoPeroTV]

​@@titok0018and you have the worst tiktok 😅

[@alicelaybourne1620]

Pretty sure that scream was the dramatic reading of why I would never become a criminal.

[@thekingofthings2002]

Being locked up for illegally downloading Call Me Maybe is wild. Now if it were Let It Go, then it would be worth it.

[@juno7760]

Prison Break, Zach Star himself edition

[@zydrox]

idk why it's happening, but i LOVE these daily Zach Star Himself videos :D

[@ViceMightBeTaken]

This is why you go to nordic prisons

[@lestercrowley666]

Yes, actual first-world countries.

[@SunGawdRa]

Yeah, your butt would definitely be safer with the nords. Seconded only to the Greeks. And maybe the Romans.

[@Slowpoke3x]

I thought he was gonna say " for killing 0 people and selling 0 drugs"

[@puppygirlcallie]

Zach's gearing up for December it seems!

[@PhrontDoor]

Side-quests coming next.

[@TheBestDog]

Two new episodes in as many days. We are so lucky! 🥰😍🤗

[@MrMelonsz]

He’s turning everything into a series now… I LOVE IT :D

[@BOTS31]

Ngl at 2:50 I excpected an ad read

[@thorr18BEM]

Nord VPN

[@lykanaslupus]

"You really wanna stay protected, get NordVPN!"

[@skylx0812]

"Prison, Scully. Your cellmate will be named 'Large Marge' she's gonna read a lot of Gertrude Stein..."

[@btxnitro]

Your content is always hilarious, I love your format!

[@TheAsh-hole]

1:10 the most important reason to never break the law. I *cannot* use the toilet 🚽 in front of others!

[@Ttavoc]

Especially not on such a toilet. Everything else I could work with. But not this

[@mrm64]

Not being able to do number 2 in private is more than enough of a reason for me to stay out of trouble...

[@Jebu911]

Meanwhile in my country prisoners all have separate rooms of their own toilet, shower and small tv:s.

[@aaronropers-huilman660]

Damn, which country??

[@captainobvious8037]

​@@aaronropers-huilman660 Could be a couple. Luxemburg, Netherlands, maybe Germany, probably North Europe in general

[@mystey1]

Nobody will explain you shit in Russia or Ukraine (prolly Belarus too) They will test with the most stupid logic questions instead

[@Animanarchy]

From someone who's done his share of time this was quite amusing and not actually all that innaccurate.

[@777idkineedausername]

Zach really went to jail for this skit. What dedication.

[@zekkozen2087]

you are beyond goated for this much content

[@FandangoJepZ]

Thank god Hunter Biden doesn’t have to go through this

[@kingmss3265]

It feels so good when you post without any sponsors,

[@YourUltimateStarGazer]

Me when i make zach eat grape pizza:

[@danever159]

*suggestion:* alien crashes gets past social stuff and has to deal with adapting to working conditions. 8-12h a day 5d a week only 3 weeks off a year etc and is fucking shocked it's meant to work and survive like this

[@bipolarbear7325]

I picture Zach being third in charge of the Apple Dumpling Gang.

[@bastianglyng9753]

He is going ham with the uploads atm

[@T3RRY_T3RR0R]

Missed opportunity for the entry walk accompanied by "fresh meat" catcalls.

[@0_Body]

This guy is going to die here from sneezing too hard

[@yankilo]

Is it just hot here, or has Zach been on fire lately?

[@Slumberputsdwellanend]

It's the fifth day, I am telling you he's on a streak😂

[@vigomatuka3055]

PART 2 ASAP!

[@lazarussevy2777]

Awesome music at the end

[@robertslayerofmonsters1302]

Funny skit idea: When you propose to your girlfriend but the ring turns out to be The One Ring.

[@MrLucky-13]

2:28 , fucking diabolical 🤣💀💀

[@d1poorpeoplehater]

Relatable

[@kyledouglascox]

Omg, it's a new series 🙌

[@jesuispapillon]

still can’t believe this is the higher dimensions math guy 😭😭

[@myremedy7691]

I feel less depressed now.

[@cheapworldtraveller]

Remember he killed 12 times, but never 0 times.

[@schoolruler2]

Zach is going to learn what it means to love himself very soon.

[@pomegranteappleson1628]

“Can I unclench….” 😂😂

[@PhageX]

Don’t forget about “the devil in 2024” series thing

[@zunaidparker]

0:04 Should have been Rebecca Black's "Friday"

[@XYGamingRemedyG]

"you'll get used to it" Yeah 😢

[@RayneOP]

Funny how fucking accurate this is.

[@ironwarriornlm]

goddamn

[@Bosnian.Spartan]

God damn cliff hangers

[@ReaIHuman]

Zach will join the gang, become a skin head, then the warden will come in and say he's free because of a technicality.

[@businessoutsidethelines]

True Story: My first day in Boot Camp, I find out the showers are 3 poles with about 6 heads each, 50 people shower at a time... The toilets are 4 on one wall, 4 on the opposite wall, about 4 feet apart, no walls, no dividers... At first, you're uncomfortable, by week 4, everyone is crapping in the toilet, having a conversation with the other 7 guys, pretty surreal.

[@user-hq4sb5cz7k]

The outro goes hard

[@turtlebear4900]

Next Episode "When it's your first day in a gang"

[@JS06-h5d]

Next episode shawshank redemption style breakout

[@Demomanflower]

He propably understood something else when he heared "gang"

[@Mr.Tangerine_]

I cannot wait for the zach star face reveal!!!

[@DeTofuKing]

oh god another series that i will have to watch lol.

[@christianlotter6402]

When he gasped I spilled my cereal

[@HBpenman]

New scream unlocked

[@adiman_7860]

Bro is farming the December KZbin infinite money glitch

[@lightyagami1752]

Prison Zach! Bring on the pruno.

[@dgkoolkid3572]

Skit idea: When the dictionary gets a movie adaptation.

[@Boevaia_Pelmeha]

It's a series!

[@tasenova2717]

"when it's your first day in prison in america" meanwhile new zealand exists.

[@ADMusic1999]

Well our government is of, by, and for the people, and they say F the people if there’s money to be made.

[@LukeVaughan33]

Linear algebruh exam results just dropped

[@agargamer6759]

New series just dropped!

[@lancesmith5645]

Suprisingly accurate :)

[@marquiseemthembuu997]

*"I like ya and I want ya"*

[@aaronropers-huilman660]

We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way, the choice is yours ;)

[@wendy8246]

Coffee is a vasodilator and duretic

[@homesteadgamer1257]

"'cause it's supposed to be a punishment, right?" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 yo i literally wonder the same sometimes

[@ADMusic1999]

If they start locking up gay people with women, I’ll be the most flamboyant gay man in the world if I get arrested

[@Gloryofzen]

The confusion 😂

[@muhammadakbar6070]

yooo new series

[@Insomniaddict0]

The scream😭

[@HellspawnAirsoft]

"You're gonna have to join our gang." I think I see where this is going... And I don't know how to feel?

[@Vfdking]

Toilet: Sounds like my size

[@AmicableVirgo]

That outro bro. So good 👍

[@jeffreysommer3292]

You definitely don't want to go around saying, "Hi! My name is Rich--it rhymes with 'snitch'!"

[@dirdib69]

It rhymes with grape.

[@tirsden]

"So... what are you in for?" "Voted for Kamala." "No shit, me too!"

[@Zippo_Squeeze]

I just thought of a good skit I think. Slasher Villains go to church. Maybe Freddy is the pastor, and they just recite gospel but twist it to affirm their killings, but are constantly confused how it affirms their killings so they have to do mental gymnastics the entire time. I just think the slasher villains being like, "good" christian or catholics is the funniest thing ever

[@benriemer1373]

He's Mewing with the knife lol

[@proffesorstew2825]

1:37 totally called what you would say. Not sure how to feel about that😑

[@GodofToast]

this is the most NPC comment I've seen today

[@Rusted_Obsidian]

You're on a Zach Star video and acting like that? Gotta be 8 years old.

[@ungrave5231]

Wow this is just in time for when my roommate gets out. Looking forward to watching this series with an ex con.