When You HAVE To Always See The Person Who Doesn't Love You Back: What To Do

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***
When people are stuck in the pain of loving someone they can't have, I advise them to cut contact, suffer the pain and start again. But what if you HAVE to have the person in your life? In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who has a child with the man she loves... and must watch him fall in love with someone new.
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[@valerieconnell2962]

Toward the end of her letter, Tamara said that he still has personal convos with her because she’s one of the few people he can talk to about his feelings (or something like that). That’s what the girlfriend is for…. sharing intimate thoughts and feelings. I think that’s an important boundary to set.

[@kayflynn2523]

Ya, dude needs to keep it in his pants and get his shit together

[@missGemelli]

Agreed, my thoughts also. She said she is good at setting boundaries and not talking to him about something like that is important. Or anything that doesn't involve their child. At least most of the time. Since they are not together, the father could be taking care of the child alone for some time (shared custody), so she could still have her own time, her own life to live outside of this "positive family" and grow by herself too and eventually find her own spouse/family. And not be focused on him and who is he going to find.

[@valerieconnell2962]

@@kayflynn2523 Completely irrelevant reply.

[@niebieskimotyl3308]

Yes, she doesn't have to have much contact with him, as probably the child is already couple years old. Having night/weekend/week for herself would be great for healing and dating someone nice before introducing new person to the kid

[@laurafedora5385]

It’s also what a friend is for

[@Dan_Chiron]

In my experience, it is very common that moms who are not with her baby's dad or who are having a bad marriage, commits herself to never have any 'couple experience/joy' ever again and dedicate _only_ to the child. While that's a commendable feeling, please, please, do not neglect your emotional and physical needs, otherwise you will end up burdening your child with the duty of filling that gap in your life (wether that's your intention or not). The best you can do for your child to be happy is letting them _see you_ happy and taking care of your own emotional growth.

[@souldancersbyjennifer]

Ooh yes...I see that too

[@MrAhuraMazda]

This. Its so easy to transition from having to put all your energy to raise a child to not being able to separate when the child grows old enough to not need as much help or benefit from independence. A lot of enmeshment potential in these situations.

[@alexxerri9619]

I appreciate this comment. I thought it was wrong but i thi k its how its done to be positive for the child. And the who is also important

[@roslynhawkins1475]

I did exactly this. My ex fiance and my daughter's father was a serial cheater, diagnosed sex addict and pathological liar and onceI found out, I immediately dumped him but I was turned off by relationships. I've been single for 11 years. I will be 46 on Tuesday and realized yesterday that I've emotionally abandoned myself. I have 3 other grown children who are living their lives. My 11 year old daughter was cute and cuddly until she started middle school this year. Now her friends have taken precedence and I feel like I've been thrown into a void with no kid. I've been a mother since I was 18 so I never had a moment to think about myself or my emotional needs. I starred therapy to figure this out.

[@JRB09990]

@@roslynhawkins1475 this is an amazing opportunity for you to start being your own best friend ❤

[@allisona9490]

Boy. That's a really understandable one in this case. Who wouldn't fall in love with someone that steps up to be a good dad. I hope she finds someone for herself. ❤️

[@lizvtaz6]

To be honest I somehow really don't like this guy. It's so odd how he suddenly made a move on her, slept with her, now he has a child with her and "their families came together" and yet "he does not love her in that way". Well, mister, you did like her enough to have sex with her, you wanna be a part of your child's life and blah blah blah and you get along with her pretty well so what is the issue?

[@Leoo117]

So many men do this. Even some good men that know better do this. Although, this makes them not so good. I've even seen an awful therapist who is wrong about everything in a smart sounding way promote doing this. It's so hurtful and causes so many problems like in the case of this letter. It's hard to acknowledge red flags when our feelings are involved, like when he said he won't be sticking around before they had sex. It takes so much effort and strength not to get caught up in this kind of situation like so many of us do. Sometimes, even when we make the right choice, we might have moments when we actually regret it! Even when we overall don't actually regret it. It's just not easy at all to do the right thing in these situations, but it's always worth it.

[@allapples]

It’s comforting reading these comments and knowing that I am not the only one who struggles with relationships.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You're not alone! So glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@Iquey]

This guy sounds like a "franchise starter" charms people and makes babies then moves on, to start a new family. Maybe financially successful enough to act like a dad but not emotionally mature enough to settle down with the mother or he just didn't like her vibes despite having some attachment to the kid. But he found a new girlfriend and still communicates with Tamara, saying she's the only one he can share his hopes and fears with her? What about the new woman? Is she not able to hear his hopes and fears?? Makes this man seem sweet sometimes and confusing later. Even if he is not abusive, he has some shakiness/wishy washyness that isn't good for raising an older child who becomes an individual, not just a baby or toddler.

[@atty.veronicainoturanosg3487]

The man sounds like he is using Tamara for "supply" (validation, approval, etc)? He is stringing her along & just feeds her breadcrumbs to keep her on a leash, while still having a romantic relationship with another woman. That man just wants his cake & eat it too, at Tamara's expense.

[@hunivan7672]

The problem with tough love is that it's often just tough without the love.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Yes, I agree it usually is. But Anna is the master! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@lovelylinda8891]

Very much true! I've had toxic family members use this an excuse to "strengthen" me.

[@slw04]

Her “savior” relationship appears like it’s going well but these type of relationships do as long as she is going along with what he wants. He wants emotional access to her without the commitment which is selfish. He gets the best of both worlds by having a girlfriend and another emotional partner like a wife without committing. That may change once she meets someone and it leads to a marriage because the emotional access changes. It wouldn’t surprise me one bit if he wants to be with her all of a sudden so that it doesn’t mess up the emotional access that he will lose and act out of fear of not finding it again.

[@whatshername656]

I wondered about this too, I wondered how much the writer was putting into the relationship, how much the father of her baby was putting in. I wondered how clear the writer was about what she wanted from him. It seems there is emotional intimacy, but whether they are inter-dependent or co-dependent is not clear.

[@slw04]

@@whatshername656: She seems emotionally invested and it could be more than he is. He has someone else now. She may want to guard her heart a bit with this guy by setting clear boundaries because in a way she is allowing this situation to put her life on hold. I understand some want to focus on raising their kids first, but I don’t think that’s all of what’s going on here. Is being emotionally tied to this guy really worth missing out on real love. I don’t think he is a bad guy but he is not choosing her as a person. She deserves to have someone that’s going to love her for who she is and not out of convenience or familiarity because they share a child.

[@designchik]

What an incredible story and couple, putting their child first. They’re better parents than a lot of people who are together. I feel for her, though, being in love with someone who doesn’t love her in the same way - and longing for the happy family she didn’t have as a kid. I hope that she finds someone to cherish her. ❤

[@dzioslo]

I've never been more touched by a letter before... Seriously, you're such a good and courageous person, decided to go for the most important thing - raising your son! I think an experience of being a parent to a child is among the most precious you can have, no matter if you have a partner or not.

[@patranizers4587]

I'm glad both of them give their child love and support, she needs to work on her self-esteem big time - longing for someone you can't have is not what you want to instill in your child (generational, emotional wounds carried out). I would "wean the ex" off as an emotional pacifier. He would not get emotional support if we were not in a committed relationship - that's the other woman's job. Find a good sisterhood and build up on your passion - not a person.

[@atty.veronicainoturanosg3487]

The man sounds like is using Tamara as a "supply" for validation, attention, etc. He just feeds her breadcrumbs & keeps her on a leash, while he has a romantic relationship with another woman. That man sounds deceptive & manipulative, actually.

[@auroraborealis6398]

I think the girl from the letter is really brave as you said Anna. Sometimes people are together for real and they do a really bad job as parents, whereas in this situation it's the total opposite! I would advise her to state clear boundaries when he wants to share too much about his relationship with the other girl. I don't mean not talking about her, but getting too personnal detail doesn 't seem healthy to me. What do other viewers think?

[@biondna7984]

My heart aches for the pain this woman is feeling. My situation is nowhere near as complicated or demanding. My guilt-inducing obsession is, he's married. I had a wonderful marriage, so I can't help but feel for his wife. I'm 4.5 months out, no contact except his two unsolicited, neutral texts (we never did anything wrong and won't). The texts sound like he still has no idea what I'm feeling, although he’s sharing some information which feels like the mixed messages I was getting before. But, so far, so good. We had only a professional relationship. I'm looking for a peer of his to replace his expertise. Meanwhile I'm taking dance classes, going out with new friends, and volunteering. Dancing through the pain. Better than not dancing and just hurting.

[@Vladimyrful]

Fairy, all due respect, I really like your videos - but I think you didn't address the question posed in the title of the video almost at all. You fixated on the child and family dynamics and didn't give this person any sort of strategy to get over limerence for someone they HAVE to keep seeing (and they have to get over it in order to start dating, as you suggested). There was also a lot of personal projection - which I understand because you probably resonated a lot with the contents. In my humblest opinion you should redo the video - or at least make a part 2.

[@hoosfoosfull]

Agreed. I can't get away from my LO and don't know what to do about it.

[@prettypuff1]

I’m on the upswing of healing from this. 3 years later I am yet to start dating again

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You are doing great! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@deborahriley1166]

The thing is, I don’t want a relationship at all! I’m still learning how to love myself!!! 🙏☯️🙏

[@hipstertherapy120]

agree in everything except kids aren't a burden, but a responsibility

[@jupiterscorner5423]

She needs to take radical action by moving out and work legally a custody agreement

[@monicageorgson4870]

It would be so interesting so hear from the “other” person in these letters. It would paint the whole picture, so to speak. Love your channel.

[@genxx2724]

Anna, you’re so helpful. I do find it curious that you tell us you’re circling things to come back to, though. I hope people are smart enough to mark important things and make notes.

[@xochj]

It breaks my heart when people think a father who doesn't want a child's mother is labeled as "the best father a child could have", because it's just not true. It's so, very damaging to a child.

[@soothingwisdom273]

so what would you do in that situation if you were him? commit to someone you don't have feelings for just so that your child is happy? I lived a life with parents like that and I wish they separated, we'd all have been much happier

[@lizvtaz6]

@@soothingwisdom273 Not have unprotected sex with a vulnerable woman? Now the child is gonna grow up with a mother who is limerent on the father that does not love her.

[@soothingwisdom273]

@@lizvtaz6 I'm a woman myself and imo you're being too hard on the man. He isn't the only one who should have thought about protection, also she had the possibility to...not have the child. She even had the option not to have sex. And it's not his fault she's limerent, like at all! I myself have the tendency to be limerent and it's definitely not the fault of the man I'm limerent on. Imo we need to take our responsibility for our own struggles and not look outside for other's faults

[@lizvtaz6]

@@soothingwisdom273 I disagree. I am a woman also and I am homosexual. I have been in relatioship with some women that did not pay attention to some important things. Yeah, you can say it's their responsibility. But it is your responsibility ALSO. As a partner or even just someone that has sex with them you do have a say. Also, women typically care about your opinion. I have actually had people being limerent on me. You know what, it was partly my fault that they ended up feeling that way about me. I was not looking for relatioship yet I was building friendship that reminded of actual romantic relationships way too much. And I was not prepared to date those people. Not to mention the fact that I am avoidant and this guy (in the letter) sounds avoidant to me. That one is difficult to explain but I can see a few signs of that. In my opinion people in the comment section are being way too kind to him. I guess it's because he is AT LEAST present for the kid. Just because he is there for the kid people really feel for him.

[@duelenigma7732]

Just imagine picking up their filthy underwear and listening to them being so excited over at sports events instead of you. Get out of the way I'm trying to watch golf.

[@laurafedora5385]

These both seem like wonderful people. I hope she finds the love she deserves, I think she will. 😊❤

[@katrose2350]

Tamara, you are such an inspiration and a wonderful mom. Best of luck pursuing your own happiness.

[@ericaled]

Oh my gosh 💔 what a tough situation.

[@Captain_MonsterFart]

This isn't really "limmerance" is it? Limmerance is a fantasy. This is a concrete situation.

[@themaggattack]

I appreciate you SOOO much, Anna!!! You always seem to have the precise advice and encouragement I need, just when I need it! 🙏

[@niebieskimotyl3308]

In her situation, he's a good father. In my relationship, my childs father was horrible to me, streaming at me, not taking care of the child and I'm proud I left, although it's not amazing financially. But he pays alimony so it's fine. I'm honestly happy he doesn't have contact with the kid, because he has strong narcissistic traits. I fell in love during love bombing phase and agreed to have a child, but for him it was only to tie myself to him, he didn't care about his son unfortunately. The most difficult part is not having family to help, but my son is almost 7 and it's getting easier.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

That's a tough situation and it sounds like you're a great mom! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@genxx2724]

Poor thing feels like she’s on the outside now. 😢

[@apoenaabreu257]

Ok ouch. Didn't even watched the video yet but I felt called out and I'm all for it

[@duelenigma7732]

She's wonderful, her insight is honest and hard earned.

[@apoenaabreu257]

@@duelenigma7732 oh absolutely. This channel is my safe heaven when I'm feeling lost

[@petrajordanmusic]

Ever since I started watching your video, my ex has been appearing in my dreams. I have no contact with him in real life, I don’t follow him on social media so it’s interesting that he’s appearing in my dreams. I’m pretty sure your videos bring out unprocessed emotions I tried to push away about him in an effort to ignore him and so detach from him/my limerence about him. But it’s popping up to the surface, kinda like in this story, where she has no choice but to interact with her ex. Definitely not the case of out of sight out of mind 😅

[@MiuMiuG]

Your content is amazing!

[@sefora805]

That’s awfully sad. I hope she finds a person who loves her bck.

[@jessicaholis]

THIS IS MY VIDEO AGAIN.

[@Jessicalc941]

I didn’t see the link for the positive coparenting course, am I overlooking it?

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for reminding me! courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com/pl/2147641294

[@jucxox]

I’d really like to work with you. This was so healing, thank you!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Come check out my website! crappychildhoodfairy.com

[@anniem2777]

I’m in love with my best friend, but unfortunately I don’t think he feels the same way. I’m on the autism spectrum and prone to limerance. Now that I’m in my late twenties, a lot of my other friends have moved away so I don’t think I can end this friendship. Anyone have advice?

[@MaRiAm936]

Tell him how you feel.if your feelings aren't reciprocated you need to cut him off.

[@anniem2777]

@@MaRiAm936 thank you x

[@Iquey]

I know the feeling. It can seem like BPD favorite-personing or turning the person you love into a special interest. If you just keep reminding yourself that they probably don't think about you, as much as you think about them, it will sting at first but the reality check will help loosen the attachment. You could ask them if they feel the same way, if you're willing to do that, or you can decide that they just don't, and break it off before asking.

[@lizvtaz6]

Listen, a lot of people prey on those who are prone to limerence. Believe me - he knows. If someone is in love with you - you just know it. Most of them enjoy it and they count on you never confessing. That way they get to be "the special one" yet they do not need to make a serious commitment to you. Also, I assume that you are a woman. If it is a "man-woman" friendship and the woman is in love with the guy, a real man would initiate the conversation and ask her about this directly. He would wanna clarify the situation. If he does he is a real man and you can count on him even if he does not love you back. Now, I actually think that you should not confess to him. You don't wanna end up in a situation where he does not actually love you yet he decided to try to have a relationship with you just because he kinda feels sorry for you. You need somebody who really loves you, remember. I say - it does not matter what you do in this situation as long as you actively try to heal your limerent side. Limerence is a bad thing, fight it. I am in my late 20s and I have at some point (around 27) ended all of my old friendships and it turned out that I did the right thing. Those would have ended anyway just not on my terms. Life can be quite complicated as it is holding on to people like this friend is not the best strategy.

[@anniem2777]

@@lizvtaz6 that’s a very thoughtful response, and exactly what I needed. A reality check. :) thank you

[@E.C.2]

He thinks about & wishes he could be with her too,don't feel alone.

[@jennifermartin4505]

So wish I had this wisdom years ago

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I know what you mean! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@jennifermartin4505]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy i wonder what my life would had been like if I didn't suffer through trauma

[@jennifermartin4505]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy thank you for educating me

[@annakepka9466]

so how many children does Tamara have? I do not really get it!

[@personne3837]

Just 1 son

[@quinnm.3127]

anyone! pls help: i live with my ex who helped me escape abuse. i never wanted to break up and i love them so much.. we have a very small house, no. doors., and we cant afford to move. im isolated and work from home, and live in a strange small town where i dont know anyone and there's nowhere to go. theyre going on dates and it's caused me to have breakdowns and panic and to feel helpless and stuck. ive spent years self-healing cptsd and understanding control dynamics. what can i do.. to establish more boundaries? to build another support system, from absolute scratch ? any advice from anyone would be helpful, thank u.

[@Seamannon]

I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you :( I still feel for you though. I hope you'll find a way to solve this situation on good terms and get to a healthy place. I wish you a lot of strenght and good luck! Blessings. 🙂

[@quinnm.3127]

@@Seamannon thank you 💛

[@niebieskimotyl3308]

It's tough, but maybe finding another roommate (woman)? Maybe looking for better job oportunities in another city, in the area where rent is affordable. Staying in that sutuation drains energy even more

[@quinnm.3127]

@@niebieskimotyl3308 oh ya i guess that would be an easy option for most people. thx for your response. here is more context, you dont have to reply again at all. i am terrified because ive had traumatic experiences living with my whole family, but then also with my next roommate that i had to find on craigslist cuz my friends kept falling thru as roomates. then, a traumatic experience with the family from craigslist that I moved in with to get away from the first roommate, literally during the process of packing to leave so i could move in with what I thought were friends, where i had an EVEN more traumatic experience. I then returned to my abusive family, met my ex that i live with now, and they helped me in a dramatic escape. So I dealt with more trauma in the form of cptsd when I moved in with them and they didn’t understand at all.. the canadian govt denied me help because i had a partner. so my partner supported me for years and i think they resent me for it. i work now tho, and they are taking time off. i also did a lot of couch-surfing in between roommates, and tried to go to shelters but they were full. im really scared to have a roommate. i won't feel safe and feel like it will make me seem crazy when i shouldnt HAVE to have roommate, but can't afford to live alone. :( the pressure of having to live with stranger while being still so vulnerable makes me feel in immediate danger.

[@Iudicatio]

@Quinn M. I am someone who has had to live multiple times with people who were not family or friends, sometimes it's been good, sometimes it's been bad. And my experience has been that it's kinda like dating and you really have to trust your gut and be willing to turn people down who feel like they are off. If the owner is creepy and weird or the other residents of the house are under an unusual amount of stress, you can always tell. Sometimes you get caught up in it and feel like you HAVE to accept anything you can afford, but actually you don't. When I have gone in with that attitude I have always found a good person quickly and never gotten to the point where I have to leave tomorrow and have nowhere to go. Lots of good people are out there you just need to believe you deserve them. Also to reject people who do stuff like cramming extra people in the house to try to profit more or have large group viewings, these things are a huge red flag IMO.

[@Catillia85]

What if he says he loves you but he's scared (seems like justifying to me) and I don't have to see him but he goes out of his way to let me know he's nearby...we're neighbors. He will drive all the way around the block to go past my house, rev his truck, then get home and rev his other truck and then his bike too. But tells me to forget he exists. Which I would love to, the man I loved never existed anyway, but the rage sure gets me. I ignore it usually but there are times its almost impossible. He's so loud. And the "I didn't mean to hurt you" when all I was asking for was for him to tell me what he needed instead of being a jerk and expecting me to read his mind is nice too. Suggestions? Insight? Anything? Please?

[@samp2782]

why does he tell you to forget he exists? he's told you he doesn't want to be with you?

[@Catillia85]

@@samp2782 I'm not sure why that's relevant..... My question was about not wanting to be triggered by him. I don't want to feel the rage and fear of my past trauma come back because of him. I don't know if he has any idea how disrupting it is to my life but he isn't going to stop doing what he's doing. I need to figure out how to cope.

[@niebieskimotyl3308]

I have couple of men who say they love me but didn't act on it. Finally blocked them all. It just drains energy that can be put into a real relationship

[@samp2782]

@@Catillia85 it's a complex situation, clearly, and when you ask for suggestions or insight, it's really hard to respond if you don't understand the situation or what's going on, so when I read what you wrote, I interpreted that as, you want to be with this person, but they're messing you around by telling you they love you and trying to get your attention, but not actually coming forward for a relationship, but you didn't specify the background or status really, that's why I asked. In terms of not being triggered, that's a very complex question in itself that could take extensive therapy to explore, depending, so no stranger online is going to be able to give you advice on that without knowing what the context is etc. But, I guess, one of the main things that's always spoken about, is boundaries. So being clear with this guy that you don't want him doing these things. I imagine you've already tried that. If there's severe trauma and triggers then maybe working through this with a therapist? Or definitely seek some support to try and work through it, definitely not easy 😢 I can't let go of my emotionally unavailable guy (hence being here, watching these videos). I believe he's a twin flame but I know Anna has done videos on that as well and basically says there's no such thing.

[@shanegreenhalgh1104]

Where have you been all my life ??? 😊

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad you found the Channel! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@elvansavkl7972]

Ok, one thing peopel have hard time to accept is tat women and men can. not can not be friends. If women continue to belive myth , they would get hurt.Honest men openly would tell you this.Just thing about you boyfriend or your husband would keep saying ohh she is or they are my girl friends only ?? would that make sense? nooo

[@AlyssaAska]

you mean women and men who have feelings for each other, right? in some lines of work it is impossible not to have mixed friends. If I had no male friends, I would be totally alone or maybe have one person to talk to, it is a massively male dominated field. There are no feelings between us, so its completely fine.

[@elvansavkl7972]

@@AlyssaAska being gentleman and being professional and being a friend are two different things. The reason I wrote is that I keep hearing from mostly girls that thing like he is my best friend so on.. it does not exist. Men do not think that way. And honest ones will say it.

[@AlyssaAska]

@@elvansavkl7972 one of my closest friends is a man. We definitely do NOT think of each other sexually or have romantic feelings of each other in any way. We literally stayed together in a hotel room 9 days, during a course/music festival, and it was like having a sleepover with a BFF. it absolutely does exist. I'm not saying there isn't the situation where people "pretend" to be friends even though one likes the other, but I definitely have friendships with men that are like this.I understand your comment but I think its unfair to group all men - or all women- into this category. I am not attracted to all men and they are definitely not all attracted to me. That leaves a heck of a lot of overlap of men that I can be friends with.

[@elvansavkl7972]

@@AlyssaAska I stayed in mix room dorms ,too.Not my first choice but I did. And I know we could do this . Not in every culture .I was ok , everyone was ok.However , I still think that men prefer other men as friends.

[@Captain_MonsterFart]

All she can do is find a lover of her own. It will ease the "want" feeling for the guy.

[@arelnash7848]

I might be wrong, but if she struggles with limerence then a 'lover' is not the right option. What she needs is a wholesome, healthy relationship with someone who loves her back.

[@ghazikutbi3206]

This is exactly a replica of my case when I was in Houston,Tx in 1982 and I was there and then living with my wife Nadia, we already have two sons of ours but in case of the child stored in my back; and wants its mother; I felt this child does not want Nadia for a mother, and I eagerly was looking for this child's mother in the streets of Houston until I met Fawn Febles and I felt peace in my system again and we (Fawn and I) became mates with the approval of her elder sisters, brother and Mom. And Fawn conceived this daughter of (Fawn's and mine). This story of this young lady is one of the decrees of the Lord and not by the problems of any of this couple. What a blessed son, hope he grows healthy and be a leader. Anna I love you.

[@pascalkempa8005]

Like a marriage but no sex - 😂

[@josflos000]

🌬️💦💦🌊🌊🤍🤍🤍🌈🌈💙🌈🌈🤍🤍🤍🌊🌊💦💦🌬️🌬️

[@msdimi01]

Dear Anna, I have a dear female friend who is turning 40 this year. I'm worried about her. We've met at a financing course and we keep in touch with each other. She had a relationship with a 5 years younger man (which is not a problem at all). She gave up everything to move to his hometown. She encouraged him to finish his college degree, she kept their home spotless, she cooked for him. She worked a stressful call-center job which took a lot out of her (mentally). She asked him many times to go to places (cafés, cinema, for a walk, etc.). He always said that he had too much work, however he met with his friends quite a lot. He wouldn't let her buy anything for his home because after they broke up, it was clear that he never considered it their home. Every Sunday they went to his family for lunch. His father never approved of my friend because she didn't have a college degree and her family wasn't prestigious or wealthy. She wanted to be a mother but the baby never came. She theorized that only she wanted a baby and the guy didn't (according to him, he had lots of time to become a father). Besides him, she was always sick. She would be inflamed downstares too when it came to intimacy. Then one day she found out that he cheated on her with a hooker (it may have been intentional to "get rid of" her). He called her all day telling her about how much he loved her and he would never cheat on her. It was suspicious to her. They broke up, she went back to her hometown. He never and I mean never called her and it still hurts her. He never proposed to her however the new girlfriend was proposed after six months. She suffered a full year from the breakup. She got all sorts of allergies. She had lots of health problems in the past, but this breakup was brutal on her body. She found a nice young man, 11 years younger than her and they want to start a family. However the ex still clouds this dream. She started to be inflamed with him too. A lot of things still remind her of her ex. She still suffers even though she has a loving boyfriend. What can she do about this? I fear that this relationship will end badly for her and she suffered enough already. Thank you in advance!