When you’re finally in a Healthy Relationship

[@Plethorality]

The shock, when someone is sane.

[@AlyssaGuzman-in7mb]

It's sad how many people aren't mentally stable/sane

[@Olivetree80]

Ikr, it's actually sad, the bar shouldn't be that low

[@glitchy9437]

It's odd😂

[@St3ph3rs]

A unicorn 🦄

[@ameliadavis1979]

Where can one find a guy like this?

[@markandstephaniebrewer3289]

My husband and I do what I call "chore swapping". We made a list of everything that has to get done around the house, and then we each took that list and rated each task from 1 to 5. One means you don't mind doing it, and 5 means you hate doing it. We then compared our lists to each other. It was shocking how many things I hated to do that he didn't mind at all. Same with my list. There were a ton of things on my list I didn't mind doing that he hated. So I took on all the things he hates and he took in all the things I hated to do. Then we just split the other tasks between us equally. It has worked out great. Neither of us feels like we have to do the "shitty jobs" around the house, and now everything gets done. We don't have to worry anymore about who does what, and we feel more united because we are helping each other enjoy our time doing chores. That's a win-win in my book.

[@baelee132]

That's a great idea! This is about an ex boyfriend of mine, but he hated doing dishes and I hated mopping so I would do the dishes while he swept and mopped lol

[@KelseyIsARose]

Ugh this is so smart!

[@laviniasnow4494]

🤩👏🏻

[@FlyingPenguin0315]

That is a great idea! I’m going to try this out with my husband

[@MG-xr9dt]

We do this with a few things too! I loathe dishes, he hates cleaning the bathroom. We fold the laundry together because 2 adults and 4 kids worth of laundry sucks ass no matter who is folding it 😂

[@angelinamagazi6493]

That “I really don’t wanna fight” reflex is so real lol

[@NIkolettaDimitriadi]

Yesss

[@divineenergy9646]

😂😂😂

[@ai172]

I literally said these words " I don't want to fight" to an airline customer support rep

[@sarahadair5890]

Yes!

[@sarahadair5890]

God, I don't. Seriously. There's almost always a compromise. 🙄

[@ImAlicjaFrank]

"Is this a trick?" My brain every time someone treats me with respect and kindness. 😂

[@angelataylor5241]

Oh my god I know My bf .. I don't know if he has the patience But I keep going through mental crap and ptsd that makes me think he doesn't want me any more and after a while I try to talk to him about it and he listens and we talk he reassures me then some times it's a few days later some times it's a while longer. But it does it again and some times om mad some times om just crying some times I'm kinda wanting to end my self, but he gets me through it. I hate that this is happening. I'm applying for insurance so I can see a therapist. I have been through some stuf and I haven't healed enough.

[@TokyoBlue587]

Mine too. I don’t even know how to react sometimes.

[@JF32304]

Amen.

[@Aliciasexton-t6j]

Same!

[@maisanascimento5441]

I always think they're lying 😂

[@brettabraham]

The "Cuz I love you? And I trust you?" is so spot on

[@ApequH]

The tone!!!

[@TrinityStarlight]

😭😭😭this can I have this with a hot guy of my dreams

[@OrgenaRose]

And the look after he said this was PRICELESS 😂

[@TokyoBlue587]

I’ve never heard anyone say this 😢

[@petmom74]

At almost 66 I’m finally in a healthy relationship where my lovely man treats me this way. The joy of being respected and truly loved is sometimes overwhelming! Thank God. It’s never too late to find happiness!!

[@umbrasyl]

You're lucky bless you :)

[@TwistedKitty150]

Where did you find him!?!?

[@714rooster]

You got a gem 💎 ❤

[@UniquelyHerz]

That’s so sweet, love this

[@msmltvcktl]

I call BS. Sorry, but i don't believe that anyone who isn't wealthy or a celebrity is attractive enough at 66 to find love. I'm 45 and the best i can do at my age is what i have; I'm too far past my prime to attract real love, and have far too many issues to attract anyone who isn't a narcissist. It's nice that you're trying to give people hope, but i don't believe your story.

[@the_not_pro_guy7782]

Yeah I keep crying because my gf treats me so freaking well. I have a lot of trauma to sift through and she’s so patient and loving, makes me so happy

[@kaycampbell364]

where did you meet

[@remingtonn_]

​@@kaycampbell364your mom's house

[@LaynaCaldwell]

This is beautiful!

[@HelloThere-nm5pb]

awww thats so sweet of her! i hope you guys stay happy ❤

[@potatocasseroli]

you deserve it and more, i’m so thankful you have your gf for healthy support and love. here’s to healing!

[@esmeraldachiau757]

I wish all brokenhearted people get to have this kid of relationship ❤

[@randomvielleuse527]

This is exactly what happened when I first met my husband. He communicated just like this and I was blown away. I had to talk to my therapist about it and the resulting fear that I would do something awful to ruin the relationship somehow and I REALLY didn't want to do that! She helped me navigate this sudden golden person and our connection and now we've been married over 30 years. He's still the same kind, empathetic and genuine man I met so long ago now, only better because we have taught each other about ourselves and our needs so we can be better for each other. I feel like I'm closing in on the person I was always wishing I could be... All thanks to his respect, love and friendship.

[@nafisaathiya504]

where can I find this :(

[@randomvielleuse527]

@@nafisaathiya504 (((Hugs!))) It took me a good part of my life, a ton of therapy and nine months of being single and not going out with anyone. At the end of that time I realized I had to be the one to choose partners. I had two false starts (one idiot, one alcoholic who was a total darling but no) before I was introduced to my husband-to-be. He had had a lot of bad experiences, too, and was determined to be treated well in his next relationship, as had I. One date was all it took. BUT. This was before the internet or computers being in every home. I was long time friends with a musician and followed her around to her concerts, and this played a huge part in my success. Folks musicians and their fans are overwhelmingly decent people. Of course there are bad seeds in any group but they seem less prevalent in folk music. They're not "cool" people or rich, but they are generally very kind, honest and good at communicating. In any case, I hung out with nice folks and my best friend helped me out. I also did a lot of work with a good therapist, plus kept a journal where I wrote everything down, did a lot of exercise and basically tried to get my whole self in order. I wasn't perfectly "fixed" when I met my sweetheart, but I was heading in the right direction and not just going out with anyone who asked me. In fact, no one. I was the one who asked my sweetheart out! So, I'd say, find something you really enjoy that has welcoming people who are eager to share the thing (hiking, sewing, bowling, horses, dogs, fish, card games, whatever really floats your boat) and then go there. Don't go looking for a spouse but look for good friends and just keep your eyes, heart and mind open. I wish you all the luck in the world.

[@Crystalwolf953]

Honestly you just said something I've been grappling with for the past week. I've been in a relationship with frankly to best person on the planet for 6 months now and recently I've started spiraling and having some doubtful thoughts that I just hate. But like, the doubt is me? Like, I can't love him enough? Like there's no way I'm doing enough for what he gives me? Fear is a good word for it. Like I'm gonna do something wrong or mess it up or it's gonna get boring but I don't feel right venting this to him because nothing is his fault. So I wrote in a journal a whole stream of consciousness about everything I appreciate about him and what he does and the dreams I want to share and all the doubt just left. This problem I was inventing for myself is put into perspective and gone. It's such an odd spiral. I'm glad to hear your marriage is 30 years strong. Gives me hope.

[@randomvielleuse527]

@@Crystalwolf953 I'm so glad you figured out something that works for you! Facing, acknowledging and defusing fear is powerful no matter how you do it. One thing that really helped me was not just acknowledging my fears but facing up to the fact that he was a super good person and not stupid so, if he loved me, maybe he saw things in me that I couldn't? And that it was okay for me to be loved by someone I could love back. Most of my other relationships were fraught with politics, lying and general crap communication... It made me realize that what I'd thought was love for people was actually fear of them because some part of my knew they were not my match. What I feel for my husband is so calm and steady- which I felt from the very first hug he gave me and has never stopped since... Anyway. Thank you for commenting!

[@diandrakaneko]

This just made me tear up a bit. I'm very aware that I have this fear and propensity towards relational sabotage, but I'm trying to be transparent about that, moving the needle, slowly, with his help. Sometimes I feel it's gonna just be another learning relationship rather than a longer term building one, but your story is really encouraging. I pray I've enough patience in myself, trust in us, gratitude for him-- to shift things finally.

[@ramyanagashree]

When you are emotionally abused by people this is what happens when you meet a genuine person and have a healthy relationship. Please god, I want to have a healthy relationship where I can have a normal discussion without anyone shouting at me. 🙏

[@MrNemitri]

I had that, and I lost it, he wanted more affection that I could give, and that's ok

[@youtubingbabs]

I'll say a prayer for you and an amen. I'm so abused I can't even wish or pray for that for myself anymore. If definitely have to experience a miracle to no longer be alone (I have 2 babies in cat n dog form and feel loved by them and my siblings but.... A partner who lived me could've been nice but it's like a million trillion dollars and a unicorn would be nice too). But genuine prayers for you because God can do anything.

[@DeathnoteBB]

Be wary, your brain is sometimes “trained” to expect the worst and panics or lashes out when it doesn’t get it because the anticipation is worse than the abuse.

[@nook_of_curiosities]

Amen

[@angiesmith9293]

Amen

[@briannejohnson9026]

Holy crap. Please make more content with healthy responses. Some of us literally never see this. This was really enlightening and validating!

[@sandywave4971]

Yes!!

[@gemstorm16]

Yes. It's hard to see the crazy when all you see is crazy. I still can hardly imagine what it would be like to be in a respectful relationship with an adult male. The crazy becomes normal.

[@racheld.2868]

YESSSSS PLEEEEASE!!! 🙋🏽‍♀️

[@mstashfish5796]

Amen!!!!

[@janedarc7731]

100%! It took me 50 years to find this type of healthy relationship, but I can’t help but think that I might’ve gotten here sooner, if I had a reference of what healthy communication sounded/looked like. It’s really hard to set a goal, let alone achieve it, if you can’t envision it.

[@TheMindParlor]

Genuinely LOVE everything you put out there. It's SO needed; validating for women, posotive models for men, informative for all. As a licensed therapist, it's so refreshing to see accurate content out there! 🙌 very seriously, thank you! 🥰

[@jessicakathryn]

I started crying the first time my boyfriend did this. He held me for like three minutes while I cried on his shoulder, literally.

[@saintejeannedarc9460]

So some vaguely like this is possible? I find this convo very contrived and overdone, but I get that it's a skit. I hope something resembling this is possible. Mine would sometimes agree, but nothing really changed. I got to know that dismissed tone, and how he was just shutting me up to get rid of me, but nothing would get done. Or if it did, it was going to be days or weeks and a few more reminders.

[@jenerin905]

​@@saintejeannedarc9460Yes, but you sometimes have to build it together. You have to have a relationship with someone mature and self aware enough that they can verbalize what they want and don't want in a relationship, they don't like mean, spiteful fighting, and they can calmly communicate expectations, boundaries, and compliments. I'm saying that people don't usually come into a relationship knowing how to do all that, but if a mature and satisfying relationship is what both of you want, it's work (like learning how to get over your pride when you're hurt in order to talk and be on the same page, and counseling and therapy), but it's totally worth it. After 16 years of marriage and with 2 kids under 12 at home, my husband isn't a source of stress at all, but the one I need to sort out all the things that weigh on me. He helps me and I help him. We are stronger together and to have someone who is endlessly in your corner is such a relief. I wish more people had this, but we need to get over the lies we believe due to Hollywood romance movies.

[@MarjyGTV]

Just reading this comment made me emotional. And he was sweet enough to let you have a safe space to get your emotions out. You have a keeper on your hands!

[@EchaKiut]

@@saintejeannedarc9460comunicate? Or done something nice for him first like something he really love and then talk to him heart to heart. Iam sorry if i over step just wanna give my opinion.

[@sterrehofstee7052]

​​@@saintejeannedarc9460I'm sorry to hear that it feels so alien to you. I am able to have conversations almost exactly like this vid with my partner. It's honestly just clear communication with voiced expectations. Sadly it's not the norm in our society but it's very much possible. It requires work to keep communicating but it's worth it every time ❤

[@cenarn562]

I LOVE THIS. I remember having a very similar conversation with an ex after our first “almost” blow up. He came to me and was very upset about something I did or didn’t do (I can’t remember it was so long ago) and I didn’t match his energy and told him “you’re right, I can see why that would bother you. I’m going to make sure I pay more attention to that because I don’t want you feeling this way”. He looked so flabbergasted and with the same angry energy told me, “so we’re not going to argue about this?!” And with the same calm energy I told him “no, why would we? You’re absolutely right and even though I don’t view it in the same way doesn’t take away the important fact that you view it as a form of disrespect or your needs not being met. I love you and always want you to feel safe to tell me these things and know that we can compromise and do what’s best for the both of us”. He sat down and after calming himself he told me that for the first time in his life he didn’t have to argue his point and he didn’t know what to do 😅 poor guy came from a very abusive home and dated very unstable women before me. I’m not perfect at all but emotional maturity is very important in all relationships. I can’t wait to find my husband who has the same ability to emotionally regulate himself and has a healthy way of interacting with others.

[@Kelly_Ben]

Oh wow, love this! Best wishes, he's definitely out there looking for you!

[@genshinsage]

And you still left him afterwards

[@DraconisWyrm]

​@@genshinsage lmao what is this comment

[@ariaflame-au]

@@genshinsage People leave relationships for a lot of different reasons.

[@cremebrulee4759]

​​@@genshinsageyou're assuming that she left. You don't know who left or if they decided mutually to end the relationship. It seems like you're projecting your pain onto them.

[@summerrose8110]

I love this, all relationships need to be like this and not just the romantic ones. Make functional and healthy relationships a norm.

[@solus8685]

"You're not gonna yell at me until I cry because I spilled some water?"

[@neff6185]

when they don’t make you apologise for existing 🥹

[@chelseabunker2391]

Yes! Friendships and family connections too ❤

[@real_smilegamez]

​@@Trigorastronomologybecause you're not supposed to wear shoes inside.. tho getting beat for it is very dramatic

[@summerrose8110]

@@Trigorastronomology I mean if someone says no shoes in their home, I'd still respect the rule. They just want their house to be clean and neat. That's not bad.

[@diflo4262]

Awwww This video only proves me right!! Exploding, attacking, and flipping things over is NOT A HEALTHY relationship 🥺😢

[@findingfreedom9674]

What would this actually be like? I have no idea. I never experienced this in 28 years of marriage. Finally free and on a healing journey.

[@KathrynBrock1]

It feels uncomfortable at first for sure!

[@rich-ard-style6996]

Congratulations. 👍🏻🌹

[@Sydoku]

Congratulations and good luck on your journey! I hope you learn to love yourself more and more with everyday ♥️

[@ChloeLayneXO]

They still "forget". So don't worry you're not missing much.

[@e.458]

​@@ChloeLayneXOSee, it's not about them forgetting from time to time, it's about you (not) feeling safe enough to tell them, because you're used to them either making you out to be unreasonable and hysteric for asking them to chip in or they will tell you all the things you're doing wrong in that situation because they can't handle any criticism.

[@blondeyesbluehair]

I tried really hard to keep myself from actively destroying the first healthy relationship I had for the first year of our now 5 year and going relationship. I even tried to bomb the relationship before it started with the disclaimer: "I am not an easy person." Turns out I wasn't difficult or nasty, or a prude or vindictive or whiny or petty or a bitch at all. But it took us a little while for me to get that. Now I am supportive, funny, helpful, kind, powerful and sweet. I wanted to be all that, because I didn't need to fight for my spot in the relationship and it is so much more fun like that ❤

[@advisorywarning]

that’s beautiful I love it so much 🥲🥰

[@GoldenPurplle]

The fact that you said "US" means that you guys probably see each other as a team. That itself is so precious 💕💞

[@william44011]

@@advisorywarning Have you ever made something an idol, used God’s name as a cuss word, dishonor your parents, murder (God views hate as murder), lusting, stealing, lying, wanting something another has that isn’t rightfully yours? Doing so we violating the law, which is sin, and because of sin there is a punishment…If a serial killer like Ted Bundy tells a judge of all the good things he’s done for society do you think the judge would let the serial killer off free? The same is with us; we’ve committed such crimes against God that we are separated from God forever; we are punished by suffering Hell for eternity, a place with no hope for us. But God loves us so much and with all his heart that he gave his only Son, Jesus Christ, to this cursed world to be crucified on the cross. (John 3:16-17) Now anyone who accepts Jesus Christ, God’s Son, as their Lord and Savior and believes he rose from the dead the third day will be saved from eternal damnation in Hell and live in Heaven in paradise with him forever. Many will choose to follow Satan, whether it be because they think they won’t succeed otherwise or won’t have any joy or friendships, but he will soon reveal himself as a murderer and a liar as he was since the beginning and he will curse all his followers as he cursed God and all of Satan’s followers will be cased into ever burning Hell. Don’t believe this lie I too believed in! Our God is a loving God full of compassion, yet he is a righteous God with righteous judgment. (Matthew 13:41-42)

[@__-sx1zz]

@@william44011there’s a time and a place for all of that. This isn’t either.

[@prismonthethehorizon5793]

This is lovely to hear that you've been in a healthy relationship for 5 years now. I'm glad you left the toxic one behind because good people deserve love and respect! ❤

[@aliveinhim9793]

Growing up in a dysfunctional home made me realize that my husband was a gem. This is how our conversations have always been and we've been married now for 18 years. During the first year of my marriage is when I realized I actually grew up in a very mentally abusive and dysfunctional family setting. Prior to that, I thought fighting daily and being undervalued as a human was normal. I thank God everyday for the man He put in my life ❤ 🙌🏼

[@evage99]

Lady, same here. I didn't realize my parents were (still are) completely awful to each other, I thought that's just what marriage was. When I got married, I realized they were awful at marriage. When I had my first son, I realized they were awful parents. I love them; they really trashed my mind, though. It's taken time to get over that. (Actually my mom still tells me how stupid and useless I am...someday maybe we'll move to another state.)

[@aliveinhim9793]

@@evage99 ugh, that's awful 😭

[@katcampbell9213]

What a blessing : )

[@ladyrenegade1113]

@@evage99 Never let anyone--not even your parents--disrespect you with those demeaning words, and awful lies. It could most likely be that the only coping mechanism they have is projection about how they really feel about themselves on the inside, much like a bully has to beat others down to feel better about themselves. I may just be a stranger in the comment section of a youtube short, but trust that you're all of the things that she claims you aren't and then some.

[@Cutiejuliya]

How did u feel attracted to a healthy person?

[@Grannievore]

lol! I can TOTALLY relate! There is nothing in the world sweeter than to be loved, heard, respected, and cherished by the person you love, and when you come from a place where that didn’t happen in previous relationships, it’s even a little hard to get used to. Everyone in a relationship needs to see this video and take notes! Serious notes, without your “love goggles” on. If you are in a relationship where this type of conversation cannot happen, leave. Leave immediately.

[@amberklein6893]

Wow. This scene made me burst into tears. You don’t realize how bad it was until LONG after you escape.

[@klesuo]

This!!!!! I wish I knew this. I wish I could go back and warn other people that are still there in it. But they have to figure it out for themselves. They’ll never leave until they are done. I will definitely teach my children and any person who actually seeks out my guidance that the most dangerous and debilitating part happens to you after it’s finally over.

[@Shuen.Li.Spirit]

Yup my mum died from stroke after carrying the burdens of my violent dad for 40+ years. He’s still alive. God bless her tolerant soul.

[@amberklein6893]

@@Shuen.Li.Spirit I’m SO sorry.

[@sarahb7215]

@@Shuen.Li.Spiritsending condolences ❤

[@user-ru1ki]

​@@Shuen.Li.SpiritSo sorry

[@EyeLean5280]

Yes, in the culture I live in, apologies and promises to try to do better are a sign of strength. Children make excuses or arguments, adults apologize.

[@sp3g56]

What culture if you don’t mind?

[@detoxanni]

Apologies and promises are really just words. I personally expect words backed up by action.

[@user-rv9jm4vx8u]

What culture and where do I find it ??

[@BrideofJesuChristo2]

Dude and that’s so true

[@tinselstar]

watch out for the ones that acknowledge, apologise then constantly 'forget' to change the behaviour

[@FieryJuniper]

It's not boring to find a good man that can accept his wrongs, and it's great to have mutual understanding. 👍

[@lisetteem3054]

a man who listens and thinks of you....

[@SillyConure]

Honestly, the so-called "boring" relationships are the most healthy and fulfilled ones. They aren't actually boring either, there's so much fulfillment in a stable and comfortable relationship!

[@Maxwell2512]

tho honestly, the only time I've ever herd somebody call someone theyre dating "boring" is because that person dosent like to do any fun activities or has no personalitity traits or hobbies. I dont see how it has anything to do with this.

[@KatJustice97]

​@@Maxwell2512there are some people who thrive on conflict and "drama" and lacking those things in a relationship can feel boring to them. They aren't actually bored, generally, they're just unused to not having to constantly keep their guard up, which ironically can trigger that feeling that something is wrong (usually as part of a larger trauma response) and stress them out more than the expected behaviors from a less compatible partner. This, in turn, leads to persistent anxiety that is difficult to identify due to its lack of obvious origin, and instead is often perceived as a lack of simulation, leading them to declare an otherwise compatible partner as "boring"

[@brooks3376]

Women have wrongs

[@TiffanyRedGreen]

A man puts on a wig and earned my utmost respect; thank you for humbly laying out the obvious.

[@Mellon_Musk]

Lol.. ya he looks cuter with that wig and somehow embodies a woman even with his mustache

[@whiteshoos]

That's exactly how I felt (and still feel) with my husband. He never gets angry, he never dismisses me and we can talk about literally everything. ❤

[@chevyblueangel]

This gives hope!! Thx!!

[@T_r0525]

I’m so proud of you! Glad you got someone like that. 💝

[@christiebell6667]

You are a very blessed woman. 🥹

[@Nicciolai]

It's great seeing a video on a healthy relationships. The negative ones are helpful, but having the positive ones show us what it looks like. Thanks.

[@jwg9338]

My girlfriend gets all giddy when I make the bed or cook dinner. WTF. This is base level easy stuff. lol

[@joanofarcxxi]

Come back and comment in about 6 months.

[@kayperez7203]

That's because partners who do basic level stuff is rare, alot of dudes think that is beneath them so they just don't do it, then get mad when the ladies get upset about the lack of basic level stuff he's supposed to be doing. She's probably been yelled at by past partners for voicing anything she's upset with.

[@katiegilpin2774]

I told my other half that the most attractive thing he can do is complete a load of laundry and wash the dishes. It's as attractive today as it was 7 years ago. Mmmm.... so good.

[@MetalSStar196]

I agree! It's very easy. Initially a pain to get started, sure, but once it's finished, you feel more encouraged to complete the other tasks around the house.

[@abeln1167]

@@joanofarcxxiyou sound hurt😂 not everyone is like u bro😂

[@3ilaty_Shalabi]

These videos have been so helpful in my marriage! I love that you teach us how to communicate effectively but also demonstrate healthy vs. unhealthy dynamics. I have learned to reassert boundaries AND my love. It’s also helped me to remember to communicate to my husband what he means to me, why he is worth fighting for, and what richness he brings to my life. Finally, I thank you for being particularly open about your past struggles as a man in a heterosexual relationship, and for giving guidance to other men so that they too can be successful in their relationships. Same for us women! This channel is a gem.

[@Aster_Risk]

Making a reminder on the phone!! Actionable steps that show a person means what they say. I love it.

[@shleebeez]

right? isn't that what a loved one deserves to be re-assured? i have a hard time understanding why someone wouldn't do this

[@crestalee6968]

Would it be unreasonable to do that?

[@ShegrasiRegalis]

​@@crestalee6968 No? If you're constantly forgetting something, and you want to change that habit, making a note or setting a reminder to go back and check, is the responsible thing to do. Furthermore, if that bad habit is affecting someone you love, letting them know that you set a reminder or wrote a note let's them know that you're putting in effort in your own way, and not just ignoring them.

[@christiebell6667]

Yes. Something I've never had in 2 marriages. 😔

[@rebecculousrk]

I think you hit hit a nerve I hadn’t realized was raw. For the second time, these role play ‘what it looks like to be respected, loved and validated’ videos actually caused an emotional response in me, my eyes filled with tears. ❤

[@KaraokeDeepCuts]

it can be like this irl! i finally found it just a couple years ago now :)

[@LoriGoertzenHuber]

Same. I burst into tears-after being in shock for a moment.

[@skallywalla502]

Ugh, same. I am in an abusive marriage where my spouse performed "healthy" for the first 10 months we were together. I kept looking for the "healthy" version of them after we got engaged and for the first few years of our marriage. I finally realized in the last few months they were a masterful performer and manipulator and I've been taking the space I need to process all of it. But I needed this reminder. Thank you. ❤

[@KaraokeDeepCuts]

@@skallywalla502 you got this friend, you'll be so much happier and more free once you make it out of there! I finally found someone who loves me right and we communicate well and care and listen, it's possible!

[@angiesmith9293]

Omg going through a breakup from a severe narcissist for over a week now and this actually make my heart feel tickled! I actually felt happy and totally giggled! Thank you thank you! U r a genius! Appreciate you soooo much! I watched it 5 times and sent it to 6 of my friends! Lol

[@JimmyonRelationships]

You’re so kind! I’m so so sorry for what you went through :(

[@MsYolost]

Sending you much love and strenght! Trauma bonds are so hard to work through!

[@Me_di]

Yeah the one with narcissists are hard

[@Majotsukai]

Please stay strong through this, Angie. I’m sorry that you even had to endure such a toxic soul! ❤

[@joannaharrison7368]

Angie. Please, please please please stay strong. You're only a week in and most likely (and God I hope this does NOT happen) love bombing might be right around the corner...it's very possible...don't let him/her tell you how happy they are with someone else already...it's a lie! You are more than enough, it'll be hard (also hope that is not the case for you but it's possible!) But you will come out brighter and better you on the other side

[@ElleRT19]

This is was incredibly helpful and validating. I don’t feel like I ask for much (the bare minimum really) and yet I’m made to feel like a burden and a nag. My heart hurts so much from being lashed out at and shut down so many times. I want a marriage like this so so so badly 😭💔

[@thatswhatisaid8908]

You know, you can have a perfectly peaceful relationship all on your own. You can be independent. There are worse things than being alone. A bad marriage is one of them. Ask me how I know!

[@Eileen49654]

I went through that for 30 years. No appreciation, mean, never a thank you or can I help you with that Working myself to the ground. Working a job, cooking, cleaning , raised our so , making sure the bills are paid... Then somthing clicked iny mind. I told my husband I would not except abuse from anyone anymore including him One day he was treating me terrible, it dawned on me that I don't have to except it Told him I was leaving for the day that I was not going to spend my day with thst abuse. No matter what he said I packed a picnic basket, blanket, and hit the road Best day of my life. I toured many small town in MI. Ended up at the Great lk in Bay City. Laid on the Beach it was awesome. I was gone 7 hours til night My husband has been a gem ever since. He knows next time I leave it will be forever He's sweet, helps out, does the laundry, thanks me for things etc People will treat you the way you let them

[@SpecialBlanket]

this is a real thing, i'm 34 and just now in a relationship where someone treats me like this. i thought it was fake at first and got all freaked out

[@springcrocus7flower635]

Danielle, sometimes or maybe all the time, you have to walk away . With a narcissistic person, they only get worse in time. I struggled for years and left. I just made sure there was someone around so it could not get to out of control with my kids. Many different attempts were made to save the marriage, but nothing worked. It takes two to save a marriage, only one was willing to admit fault and make adjustments.

[@AylaMarianna]

​​@@SpecialBlanketI'm 33 and hoping for this! Have been single for a year, and am not missing much except intimacy. But I want to meet someone who doesn't almost make it their life's goal to destroy the intimacy via thousands of small cuts (only to fucking panic when I finally actually do emotionally check out of the relationship and end up leaving). As if I wasn't absolutely clear about the fact that those small acts of support & consideration, just... teamwork(!) in a relationship, are not only important to me & for my well-being, but a necessity. 🙄 If life WITH you makes every day so much more DIFFICULT for me, then what's the point? *If I wanted to be a mother, I would [try to] have children!*

[@eastcoastmusicmachine7989]

I cannot even imagine being in a relationship this mature

[@MrsBagels]

We're not to this point totally yet but approaching. Like one of us brings up an issue and then the other reciprocates with a similar complaint. We get weirdly defensive and then are like ok I'll work on that.... and then he's awkwardly defensively like ok well as long as youre good with that that's good.... it's weird and awkward lol like we're both tensed for an argument that isn't going to happen

[@Danielle_1234]

When my early relationship started to get serious I sat down with him and told him that the key to all long lasting healthy relationships from friends, to coworkers, to loved ones, is healthy communication. The more healthy the communication is the healthier the relationship. That's the secret to a happy lifelong relationship. He thought about it and agreed. After that it's been uphill. He has some communication problems as do I, but we're willing to work through them and grow together. I'll give an example of what we went through: Early on when we'd get in an argument he was like a brick wall completely defensive. I eventually just started explaining where I was coming from, how I was trying to help and solve the problem for both of us. He then shared a bit with me and from that communication I found out he assumed at times I was going to try to emotionally hurt him. I had no idea where he got that from his childhood, but after that every time he got defensive I would say things like, "I'm just trying to help. I want you to feel good. I don't want you to hurt." and this broke down his defenses and after that we've been great for each other. After that arguments have become quite rare. Communicating well is a skill that takes time to learn, but the better you get at it the happier your relationship will be. I guarantee it.

[@EstherHulst-Artist]

I am and im telling you i never thought life could be this good

[@kimberlyhartman4865]

Me too! 43 years and my husband is so amazing!

[@ram47863]

Maybe because your trauma Just don't marry someone who not like the man in the video He the bare minimum for kind woman

[@marjoleintje2009]

I share my feelings and then you tell me nothing you do is ever good enough.... Ugh I felt that one. Also the "I don't wanna fight". I so often start a conversation like that, even about small things cause I know he's gonna take it so hard. Sometimes takes me days to get the courage to bring something up. He's gotten better, muuuch better, but I still sometimes wish I didn't need to be the one doing and reminding him of everything aswell. My head is always full with tasks to be done... And his things ontop of it l, which I also then need to find the right time to remind him off over and over. He cleans sometimes, but doesn't realize how much I do every day. And because he tidy up after himself much, his one time vaccuuming is like nothing... Since he makes most of the mess to begin with.

[@anjaflo1]

Thank you for creating this content and showing women how a relationship should look like 🙏

[@simplyatable]

And men, too. Learning that a relationship is healthy if both your partner respects your needs and you respect theirs is important for everyone

[@lexinicole4317]

This isn’t just women. It’s everyone

[@RinoPalmani]

​@@lexinicole4317fr tho

[@fledgeking]

This is showing how both parties should communicate. It can definitely go both ways, and this scenario can be flipped. Women aren't the only ones that should know how to communicate. 😁

[@TMH792]

It’s showing how men and women can communicate in a healthy way. Why did you assume it’s for women when “she’s the one shocked” bc of his response.This comment comes off extremely chauvinistic ( May have not intended) and the fact that, that many people liked it is scary IMO.

[@marissakuehler6559]

I have never had a conversation like this with my husband, ever. Nope. The “lady” here is totally on it. These videos are so straight up real on what goes down. 💯 How refreshing it is to see this man’s kind response, respect and understanding exists. ❤️ Comforting.

[@Lovetheonewithin]

Hearing this conversation brought literal tears to my eyes. I pray for a respectful relationship.

[@hpfav101]

thank god I thought I was the only one

[@LeileeBaker805]

Optimistic for the new year❤

[@rachaellynde9463]

This is the biggest difference between my current relationship and my last relationship. My ex made me feel like such a nag for expressing basic needs or for expecting literally anything from him.

[@EmpressEmbeth]

God, I feel that confusion in the depths of my soul. The "wait, you're... not mad??" I honestly got a little teary eyed at this one. I've been with my wonderful husband for six years now, but the scars from before go so deep, it's insane how real respect and love still shock the hell out of me

[@MichellePantry]

It's so great to see a man expressing this! I really hope that men in my daughters generation are more like this rather than the sh*t I've had to cope with.

[@fxviridis]

I was the shut down “nothing I ever do is good enough” guy. It’s hard to forgive myself for wasting so much of that girl’s life and not making our relationship a space where she could express her needs. I miss her everyday and I couldn’t be happier that she’s happy now. That guy better be the greatest fucking man in the history of Earth. He would still dwarf what she deserves. It’s been rough, but I’ve never been more excited to get out there and try to be a good, empathetic, emotionally intelligent and mature person for someone new. Every time I see one of these videos it just gets me so excited for the day I get to be good to someone. So thank you for that :)

[@7josette]

This is exactly how I feel in my current relationship, I’m extremely emotional being pregnant and get so scared to bring things up to my partner. He’s been nothing but supportive and loving and it makes me feel unworthy of his love. But I know this is everything I have worked so hard for we both deserve each other.❤❤❤

[@seneynah]

It’s just preggo hormones

[@e.458]

Maybe you don't feel worthy of his love because other people gaslight you into believing you deserved the sh1t they put you through before. You didn't deserve that. You do deserve being loved and cared for. You do deserve being pampered throughout your pregnancy (and birth and post partum), your body is going through a lot, after all.

[@MarjyGTV]

@@e.458exactly !!

[@bbj4613]

Lucky you. My partner leaves the entire house a mess and never cleans up after himself, he doesn’t pay any rent or help me out and I have severe pelvic pain , I’m due to give birth in 3 weeks and I’m absolutely exhausted. Whenever I voice my concerns that I need help he always says “you’re a women do it yourself” he made out he was a good man for 2 years of our relationship, I knew he was messy but now I’m really seeing him for who he is.

[@ley567]

​@@bbj4613it sounds like your life would be easier without him in it. I'm so sorry

[@missvrinda]

Omg where is a man like that for me! Emotional maturity is so needed in relationships!

[@MrHuntingClaw]

In all likelihood, probably not on a dating site nor in a bar/party.

[@robinbloxom]

Just speaking from my own experience, I found my person when I wasn't intentionally looking for a partner. We were friends, to best friends, to more. Sometimes, taking it slow really allows for your relationship to blossom ❤

[@americantoastman7296]

@@MrHuntingClaw u good bro?

[@lanesmith1465]

Honestly? Men like that are more or less the norm once they've had to take on some responsibilities.

[@mccurdyhomevideos]

Where I need one mine doesn't do that...@@lanesmith1465

[@terrafletcher1930]

"Because I love you and respect you." That moment he gets a tackle hug

[@Sherlockedin221B_Edits]

This is EXACTLY how it is with my best friend and I… it’s so shocking sometimes to me still… It’s so hard to fully understand it sometimes because of how much your past relationships have skewed your whole view of love. My best friend is the greatest and I’m so grateful for her.❤

[@vhayashi7369]

I am experiencing this very amazing thing for the first time in my life in my mid 40s! I'm shocked when I'm validated! 🤯

[@nm9412]

This is my third video watching from yesterday. Jimmy you have made a huge impact on me! Now I’m so inspired to work on my self growth.

[@hannahmillner764]

Got half way through before my brain exploded. More people need to watch this channel. Respect needs to make a comeback and never leave.

[@Gigachadbased-p34]

Then when will women respect men without expecting to be respected for absolutely no reason?

[@hannahmillner764]

@adjustedindividual7177 respect starts in the beginning. If you're looking for a reason to respect someone then you probably never will.

[@Gigachadbased-p34]

@@hannahmillner764 nope. Respect is earned. What a typically feminine way to think you have.

[@ZeroNumerous]

@@hannahmillner764 Yeah, the way she started that conversation without it being an attack or personal drag was great. Nice to see that he reciprocated her energy!

[@ZeusKingOfAllGods]

​@@ZeroNumerousyou are aware that it's the same person right? And this is KZbin so the more clicks he gets the more money he gets. 😂😂

[@lovauradragon1819]

Almost 8 years in and I still feel shock & awe experiencing this. Have to conciously highlight to myself, that he genuinely does like me for me, and I don't have to be anything "extra" in order to be worthy of being loved. I get to be fully myself and I'm relearning how to let my silly side show. It's awkward & amazing.

[@talithahuey6979]

❤❤❤ it’s so sad how we forget how we are supposed to be treated and treat others. 😢 this made me emotional. ❤

[@zerosysko]

Forget? Some of us didn’t learn in the first place.

[@bygraceonly182]

This convicts my heart on how I need to work on my sons’ attitudes. Because I think the last generation of moms and dads enabled their sons to not be on the hook for any basic responsibilities or emotional maturity. NOTED.❤

[@Kath0080]

Damn. Thank you. I'm a boy mom who is 5, he's been good at putting things away but this really gets to me. The pendulum swings both ways...

[@jambo44today]

As a young child my son watched my ex punch holes in walls & doors. As a teenager, he punched a hole in his door. He bought a new door and had to help hang it, too. Rage anger was something he had to recognize in himself and actively work on. He still gets angry easier than the rest of us, but he doesn't break things.

[@joannaharrison7368]

I believe you're right on !

[@Erica-en2qz]

So true.

[@fannybindeki7686]

Thanks from a mother pf a Future Woman.

[@TheKhfan001]

When someone explodes when you ask them to do the dishes, it's never actually about the dishes.

[@Ikaros23]

It’s about their narcissism 😂

[@mariusastrupclausen7888]

@@Ikaros23 Well it could be that they are tired of constant passive aggressive remarks. Idk how common that is to see tbf but that’s what my mom does to my dad on a daily basis. That doesn’t justify exploding when you get asked to do the dishes obviously, but not everything is caused by the oppositions narcissistic tendencies.

[@lo9070]

​@@mariusastrupclausen7888 Yes, it can be because of a number of things. The problem is, more often that not, because there is an issue in the person reacting behaviour. People often feel attacked when someone says something to them, every time it's not a compliment.

[@Ikaros23]

@@mariusastrupclausen7888 Sounds like they have a dysfunctional communication patern. This may or may not be because of narcissism. But it is toxic and unhealthy. It`s nothing you can do about it. take care of your own health ( learn self-care skills).

[@stephanyr7039]

Where is this sane, empathetic and kind men. I need one of those

[@Gigachadbased-p34]

They're invisible to women like you.

[@Crimson50]

stop chasing men that appear the most confident outward and go for the sane, kind and empathetic men instead. most men who are outwardly very confident are assholes

[@damianmontiel8346]

Not the most attractive

[@evilherojoseph]

Maybe you need one, but you don't want one, because he is too sanitary.

[@ms.q7445]

One guy stands up and starts saying this stuff and the rest are going to realize they can’t make excuses. And at our current rate of progress this should only take…. mmmm… about 375 years if we’re lucky.

[@crystalheart9108]

My current boyfriend and I's relationship is exactly like this. I was so used to being disrespected and treated like any expectations or help I'd need was a burden on my partner. But this boyfriend treats me with the utmost respect and is always checking in to make sure I feel respected and valued

[@vivia2618]

I will forever GLADLY wash the dishes if he responds like that ….just melted 😂❤

[@spidaminida]

Thing is, with the right fella you wouldn't have to!!

[@UnlimitedFlyers]

Man, this video nearly burst me into tears and certainly welled up lots of painful memories inside; I was held captive in an abusive and toxic relationship for two years where my partner not only attempted against my life *_multiple times_* but also systematically sabotaged my entire daily routine and shunned away my circle of friends, family and loved ones. Everyday was hell, to the point that suicide did indeed present a _happier alternative._ Said partner only left after leaving my life in shambles and me in near-financial bankruptcy, merrily pretending to waltzing off in a happily ever after rainbow. Right now, I couldn't be happier. Because for all the difficulties I have yet to surmount, I am happy, free and hopeful. This video tugged my heartstrings as I wished my relationship to have gone down this path. Now, I am a broken shell of a man who avoids relationships and partnerships because I cannot bring myself to trust a fellow human being to a level of intimacy where they can do the worst damage to you.

[@AlishaDear]

I’ve been in a healthy relationship for 4 years now and it still surprises me sometimes. My ex was very emotionally stunted and would lash out at me for anything and we would have arguments about everything. My bf now listens to me and even asks what my expectations are if I do not say and also holds me accountable, but it’s never an argument, just a discussion. It’s such a huge difference and has really made me so thrilled to find someone who doesn’t question or mock everything I do.

[@wolvie1618]

Honestly kinda same. My ex used to ignore my feelings, gaslight me, and try to invalidate me while trying to change who i was to fit what he wanted. It ended up getting so ugly that picking up my phone would give me anxiety because i didnt want to see a text from him. Im in a much better relationship now and we rarely have disagreements. And when we do, theyre usually the result of miscommunication, and we sit down and have a talk about it and afterwards things are a lot better, we have a better understanding and it brings us closer. Its honestly still comes as a bit of a shock to me, having been surrounded by toxic people my whole life (mainly my ex and my dad) who act like a wall and shut me out, having someone that listens is such a relief.

[@willowtree6487]

I really like these videos that show everyone what a healthy relationship should look like. It’s too easy for people to copy their styles from to programmes, my mum argues like she is on Eastenders, but instead of shouting she gets squealy and makes it all about her.

[@xMyJadedHeartx]

It is culture shock going from an unhealthy relationship to a healthy one. This is where I’m at right now. My ex husband is manipulative, and controlling. My fiancé on the other hand is open, kind, and hears me out. I find I have expectations on how something is going to happen, because of my previous marriage, but then he surprises me with his thoughtfulness and desire to help, and be part of the relationship. This man is my King! 👑

[@davidserlin8097]

When you finally are in a relationship with someone who has been through therapy or is currently in therapy. It makes a world of difference.

[@kellymeadows9983]

I think I would pass out if the conversation went this way!! From shock 😂

[@joannaharrison7368]

I know Kelly...me too!! Lol me too me too....shame though isn't it!

[@justsomenobody889]

The shocking part for me is that it's normal for people to immediately put dishes in the dishwasher instead of parking them in the sink for a bit. At least my husband and I are both on the same page about these kinds of things (ie equally lazy lol)

[@LuckyBones77]

It’s insane to go from abusive bullshit to THIS. I’m so glad you showed that moment of surprise and confusion, that is SO real. when you’re not accustomed to it, kindness and patience can be… disconcerting. Like, you learn to ‘pick your battles’, to only assert yourself when its important, so bringing up and discussing stuff like this doesn’t feel worth the emotional effort, or worth the risk of disproportionate retaliation. but when you have a good relationship, everything that would have set off your abuser ISNT EVEN A BATTLE to start with!!

[@alybeer4559]

"You've been leaving YOUR dishes in the sink... WOULD YOU MIND... putting those in the dishwasher FOR me"... would love if that conversation didn't ever had to start in the first place. Woman are still considered the manager of the house and work around the house are their work... and a man doing the bare minimum around the house without creating an argument is a huge thing

[@Anna-vg5ur]

i mean different circumstances and different people have their own agreements. in my opinion it should be an evolving conversation in a relationship and a basic understanding should be made early on. it’s also reasonable to acknowledge that your agreement may have recently changed or the two of you have different ideas of the bare minimum, where a conversation like this would be really helpful. also in the video the man literally agreed that it shouldn’t be all her responsibility and that he will make an effort to improve the behaviour going forward so what’s the issue

[@fox__in_socks4609]

God this looks amazing. The load of not only having 3 kids to clean up after and a full time job, but having to fight to get help is unbelievably exhausting

[@MissRandomComment]

No but this is so on point that it almost made me cry. I remember getting in an hour long screaming match over some constructive criticism or getting huffs and puffs just because I asked him to clear his pubes off the sink when he was done shaving. Yeah. I needed therapy after that one. And my reaction is still a lot like this when met with reasonable people. Trauma is real.

[@dessaarnold7540]

Yes, it's hard

[@itabelectra]

When my husband says "let me change her diaper this time" I feel like crying lol

[@MsTachke]

Yes indeed the shock when someone is sane when you finally get a respectful respons, instead of being yelled and getting blamed and even bullied. I hope one day, I will finally get such a sane relationship instead of an insane one I'm just done with this insane relationships. For the change I'm again in a disrespectfull relationship.

[@fishblub5443]

goodness you tender soul, you deserve nothing but the finest respect and love! You are a life to be cherished and appreciated daily ❤ sometimes our heart feels like an empty well, but after the rain we are full of life and love so help us find it. You will find it, and it will be yours to keep forever!

[@dresdenvisage]

Unfortunately, a lot of us who have been in relationships with people who shut down or explode become conditioned not to even try to bring up pur grievances with a partner. So if we eventually get into a relationship with someone who cares what we feel, we have a hard time even locating our wants or needs. And if we do speak up about something that's bothering us, we've been stewing about it so long, letting resentment build, and mustering up the courage to bring it up, and we can end up coming into it ready for a fight. That energy can be frightening for our poor, unsuspecting partner, and now we are the toxic one. I hope everyone reading who relates to this video or my words finds healing to stop the cycle.

[@amandahayes2306]

I wouldn't know what to do if my husband was finally this mature and aware.

[@AubreonaS]

Completely agreed ❤❤

[@abify]

I will prolly be the red flag😢

[@deemiller5024]

Sometimes people are more visual learners. Show him the video. It may resonate faster.

[@reneeharper84]

That "why??" followed by confusion....I felt that in my soul

[@crystalynrudiak7111]

I appreciate your videos and the humor, too. I had a lady talk to me like I hated dogs because I walked around her dog carefully, when it looked like it might be viscous. I don't hate dogs at all, I just have a healthy respect for them and their capabilities to do damage. I saw a dog turn and attack a couple girls while out walking and I wish more people would respect them better and their boundaries. It was terrifying to witness an attack. I also think some people with dogs tend to have them to dote on them and people with cats can be more empathetic. Some "dog people" I've known have been very selfish and insensitive. The lady who was talking to me like I hated dogs also looked homeless and toxic.

[@Saoirseah]

Thank you for this short. We desperately need people to show what proper and appropriate healthy relationships and communication are. We all grew up in dysfunctional families and desperately need the guidance and examples. Thank you again. I've never had anyone ever do this for me. Why cant people see things from eachother's point of view. Nobody is perfect or even tries anymore. Its all about themselves. Me... me... me...I always try to be this way and have been used and used over and over. I'm tired of humans right now.... We can all do better... In the immortal words of Keanu Reeves, "Be Excellent To Each Other".

[@MarinPatt]

This is so refreshing. I also love the way “she” asked him. If you ask nicely, this is always the way it should go. No exceptions

[@monkeyscircus]

She asked sweetly and kindly, like she's so ready for compassionate communication And she's also very defensive, like she's gotten very little of it in previous relationships 😔

[@ThinkIsMe]

That’s right. It’s much harder when it’s like, “ Ugh your so messy! Always leaving dishes in the sink! Do you even care about me? Your do selfish! “

[@americanightmare]

Wow I’m so glad I came across your channel. My marriage is essentially over (it’s too complicated to get into here) but seeing this I finally feel like someone gets it. Helps me feel less alone since I’m not being heard or understood by anyone involved directly

[@vaizluca]

hope you get everything you deserve and need to thrive and live a wonderful life now that you've opened yourself to the next chapter. best wishes ❤

[@KaraokeDeepCuts]

one of the raddest things about leaving my previous relationship of 12 years and finding my new relationship is how much i can take what i learned from the previous relationship, during which i grew up a lot too, and do so much better this time around. and same for my partner! i low-key wish everyone could breakup with their partner that they were with since they were young and try again with new perspective and maturity. it's not even necessarily a failure of the past relationship, just time for the next step! i imagine it's much harder to come to that point with someone that you have such a long and burdened history with

[@Jarc590]

My fiancé and I communicate like this. Communication, vulnerability, understanding and trust are just a few things that we both value and highly prioritize in our relationship. It's honestly so refreshing. The most happiest and healthiest relationship I've been in and I feel so blessed that I'm marrying a man like him.

[@jha9235]

This!! Its like throwing yourself against what you think is a locked door only to have someone open it, but mentally/emotionally. I psych myself up for a big confrontation only to get validation and thoughtfulness, and changed behaviour that I don't need to keep putting effort into making sure they maintain.

[@shosho089]

Right? My husband is my first and only partner, but my mother was the difficult one to talk to. She was very emotionally overbearing and everything was a fight (her mental health is MUCH better now), so when I got with my husband, I always did the psych up to be ready for a fight. Then he’d just…listen and be mature about it??? I was so confused. 😂 it’s amazing what a healthy relationship really can look like.

[@sleepysadpoet]

This is so loud and called me out 😭😭😭😭 I'm in my first healthy relationship currently and even after 7 years I get afraid

[@ru.m.6119]

Congrats! Cherish it as its rare now a days.😊

[@magicmegan4290]

wow, it’s like you know exactly how my last narcissistic relationship was like…. Now that I am in a healthy relationship, there is so much I appreciate, and dump on him words of affirmation and appreciation. once you’ve had it really bad you really appreciate it once it’s good.

[@sarayusarayu832]

I cried so much watching this..! It’s so validating! I relate SO MUCH to the facial expressions the female character made while asking for help 😭 it’s so hard to ask for anything in a relationship because men get so mad at you 😭

[@heatherbourassa4237]

I pray for this kind of response someday. Ive been married almost 10 years and we've been together for 16 years and its hard to even imagine what it would be like to experience a good healthy response.

[@sterntaler64]

I wish you will find a good man and experience countless respectful responses in your future life 🙏 Good luck, you deserve to be treated well 🤗🍀🌹

[@emopandaa]

I smell divorce

[@bossyboots5000]

This is just sad ☹️

[@bossyboots5000]

​@emopandaa if it hasn't happened after 10 years, it probably won't

[@annkatt3]

As someone who did 16 years with someone who never got better, only got worse.. get out if you can. the problems that are bad at the beginning usually just get worse. if he's not wired to treat you with respect he never will be and it's not your job to change him. I've been in a relationship for 5 years where I never get yelled at, he helps me with things, loves cooking for me.. he still has room to grow, he's autistic and from the toxic family, but we all have room to grow, and he's always trying to do and be better. Peace and love and I hope you get to move on to someone who treats you well, I know it seems like years wasted, (I kept telling myself that I would convince him to go to couples therapy and that I would find a way to make him see that we needed to come together and that he should treat me better, I couldn't imagine moving on, because I put too much time in and I didn't think I could find anyone else because I was in my thirties, overweight, etc, but moving on from that relationship was the best thing I ever did in my life), but you don't want to look back in 5 or 10 years and realize you've wasted even more time, we only have so much time on this earth, why be miserable for all of it? I wish you the best

[@ipshita12345]

Brought tears in my eyes, Whenever i used to express my feelings...he always feel attacked 😢...He now thinks i only think bad about him, so he ended the relationship

[@kate3957]

Going from an unhealthy relationship to a healthy relationship is hard. When you've been in an unhealthy relationship (be it even parents), you have to learn a new way of thinking you were never taught. ❤❤❤

[@allisonb.8492]

Wait what? this happens?! Wow and its not deflected back to me?! lol. I NEED THIS in my life!

[@blagjackette]

It does exist 😊

[@deecee7042]

Idk this is just a video on KZbin, I have not seen anything this self aware from a man ever lol

[@blagjackette]

@@deecee7042 My man is like this. This is possible ♥️

[@エルフェンリート-l3i]

​@@deecee7042 That's.. quite unfortunate. Just know that there are men out there who combine mental and physical strength together with being able to utter the occasional apology and doing the dishes, if they come home earlier. We exist and someday you will find someone like us 😊 I wish you the best.

[@deecee7042]

@@エルフェンリート-l3i thank you! You too!

[@AliciaMajo]

It took me YEARS to stop having those fun little, trauma-based, reactions whenever I was having one of those conversations with my boyfriend... But he was very patient and understanding, as long as we communicate whatever is wrong right now, we know that we can work through it. It finally feels safe to come home!

[@ba8ygir1]

It’s unfortunate that so many people can relate to this scenario of expecting there to be a fight around, the possibility of needing to have a conversation, how they feel and their expectations.

[@Artyshell53]

I would love to see more of what a healthy relationship looks like. Thankyou

[@lilu2830]

Omg. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 one more time for the people in the back and the selfish gaslighters out there that blow up at u and make u feel like there is no hope for this relaripnship because they call u a b*tch for simply stated one’s feelings and that they’re being rude, all in a calm and non-b*tchy, but adult manner. Like ppl who are around each other long enough, will end up having problems with each other and we all have to learn how to navigate and all put forth our best effort if we really care about the other person’s feelings and this relationship. Thank you so so much for this video. I knew I was right for thinking that this way of thinking exists and is healthy, but it means so much to see a video about it and especially it being posted by a man, just means so much more because a lot of toxic men out there just love to throw the B**** word around like it’s nothing, and belittle for little things like this that should just be a regular adult conversation.

[@Applied_Pressure]

Took me 39 years to experience this. I knew in my heart it must exist. But had never experienced it, so, I put up with abuse in relationships for way too long. Now that I've experienced it in relationship, I'll never EVER put up with the abuse again.

[@jeyshs5131]

If only conversations were this simple 😂😂😂

[@khadijah6450]

I am like the guy. I believe this is how a relationship should be.

[@catherinemccright1256]

You sir are a unicorn 💕 DO YOU HEAR US, YOUR A UNICORN!!!!!

[@comenowletusreason6330]

​@@catherinemccright1256Unicorns aren't real. Lol

[@catherinemccright1256]

@@comenowletusreason6330 they are. They're just very elusive, It happened to have found one myself. I never let it go outside and no one knows it exists

[@ellariel7457]

I remember the first time I was in a healthy relationship. And as proof of the damage that had gone before, one day, I actually asked my new, healthy, relationship partner, “Why are you so nice to me?“ The answer was simple and clear: “It’s nice to be nice.“ That was beyond a revelation to me, and forever changed the way I looked at relationships. Thank you, old friend, wherever you are… ❤

[@Iamlearningtolove]

Omg is this even possible!?! 😆💖

[@enviroheritage2220]

😂😂

[@Kath0080]

If you get a guy 2-3 LONG relationships in (possibly marriages), hell yeah!

[@Iamlearningtolove]

@@Kath0080 Thank you for giving me a little hope! 😁 💖🙏💖

[@danielleo6855]

I know some guys, they are already married though 😢

[@nxoxox]

Yes and you’ll be shocked and constantly waiting for the “mask” to come off but it won’t bc there is no mask …

[@MinaDelTex]

The “you’re not going to tell me how stupid this is?” like we already know they will never understand. How refreshing.

[@meowster_chief]

this is so me, i had a really bad relationship where my ex bf didn't respect my boundaries for intimacy and stuff, and i still get like blown away in amazement when my current bf now respects that

[@RenegadeHQ]

Your doing great with helping people understand relationships! I Appreciate your videos! Keep it up!

[@bridgetdumont335]

Wow !!! I am soooooo glad to discover there are actually healthy relationships out there !!!! Amazing !!! Inspiring !!! Share this wonderful example 🎉

[@ugglaifjarran]

Oh.. I felt peace and freedom seeing this video. This conversation would never happen like this with a narcisist at your side.

[@sherrireid4246]

What An Awesome response. To be in a Healthy Relationship makes a major difference in how we build love and respect others in our lives. ❤ AMEN🙏

[@AngelaGWillis]

Every time I opened my mouth, he thought I was blaming him (no matter what I said or how kindly I said it). I finally learned to keep it shut and say nothing. See the problem here?

[@TheGoodLifeStarterPack]

It was the "Consider it done." for me!

[@eminemilly]

Nice the reminder on the phone for me so I don't have to remind or just let it go😊

[@Robin52sr]

The way he says "sink" had me cracking up from how accurate that inflection is