When your Partner Isn't Vegan: Tips for Sharing your Life with a Non-Vegan

[@richmoreno9938]

I’m struggling more and more. In the beginning my GF ate vegan when we shared a meal together. She told me she might have a little dairy or fish ONCE IN AWHILE, but doesn’t eat meat (I know fish is meat). Once we moved in together, I started seeing blocks of cheese, yogurts, fillets of fish and things like breaded shrimp and a frozen bag of ORANGE CHICKEN (!!) in our refrigerator. To me, that comes across as more than once in awhile. I never wanted to open my fridge and see these things. It would never be the situation if I were living alone. I tried to explain to her that dairy comes from artificially inseminated cows. She still wants to believe that “organic” means that it comes from a tiny farm where cows are magically mating and churning out dairy at a rapid rate for millions of people across the U.S. Even more frustrating is that we buy a lot of dairy free and meatless items that are just as delicious and virtually no difference in taste or texture at ALL, yet she still wants to buy and consume real dairy and meat. I feel like she didn’t entire lead on just how much of these things she actually consumes, and now that we live together, I’m becoming more conflicted everyday. It’s like what someone else said in the comments here; when you go vegan (for the animals), something inside of you changes. It’s difficult to turn a blind eye to the truth and facts. Having a partner that still wants to consume animal products, despite the facts and incredible vegan substitutes, is disheartening to say the least. I just don’t get it at all-very strange to me. How can a relationship survive when there’s an extreme divide on such a deeply a rooted value as this? Anyone else here struggling with the same issue? Acceptance feels difficult for me. Is it ok to be racist, or a pedophile or abusive to women, etc? It’s hard to understand why people’s sense of justice or compassion stops when it comes to animal welfare.

[@brownble]

Hi Rich! Oh my goodness I loved your comment. You articulated the issues we face as vegans and animal lovers so well. And yes, having a big difference in values is one of the hardest things when it comes to relationships. Have you tried sharing some of the great documentaries out there on veganism and the animals that are out there? Vegucated did it for me, and Earthlings did it for my husband. Sometimes we truly don't know why this is such an important issue to our partners and we don't really comprehend what animals go through until we see it. I know this is hard. And you're right! People don't actually have that much awareness of just how many animal products they consume until they stop.

[@lastharvest4044]

If she doesn't want to stop, you could consider going to a local farm together. Find one that treats their animals well and sells small scale produce/fruits/animal products so you can enjoy the experience together.

[@firangele8094]

You are a very positive person, that is nice. But once that you make a choice of being vegan, it changes you completely. It is a matter of values and being ethical. Being positive will help you at the beginning, being patient is very important, but as the time goes on, seeing the person you love not caring about the things that move you deeply, breaks your heart.

[@brownble]

I know it can be tough Angelica. Sending you lots of love and support if you've been going through this with your partner.

[@goratanemaorani5290]

You have put in words my situation, it breaks my heart that my husband is not!

[@ID-qd1qk]

It does! Sooooo true....

[@simmaria2603]

I agree. It's almost a deal breaker.

[@lynns7262]

I just recently went from pescatarian to vegan. I am the only one in my family who doesn’t eat meat. They were ok when I was a quiet pescatarian, but now that I’m vegan… I’m getting a different vibe. I will show my partner of 30 years this video so they can understand that we can still make it work… but I’m hoping they come around eventually.

[@goav3256]

PERFECT, PERFECT, PERFECT SUBJECT! I'm so so glad you made this video. Thank you!!! Keep up the good work. you are so inspirational!

[@brownble]

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! You are all so kind to me! It's always all of my viewers and readers and listeners who inspire me, so it's all on you :)

[@stellarucita8600]

Thank you for making this video.. I also have some issues with my partner about our different lifestyle... I inspired by this video... Thank you so much..

[@yaoyao1673]

my husband turned to vegetarian now after iv been vegan for 4 months. I never force him to change, and let him choose what makes him happy. :)

[@brownble]

That's totally the way to go Nadia! Awesome on you for being vegan and for him turning vegetarian! That's amazing! :)

[@firangele8094]

Nadia Sun did you cook omnivorous foods for him?

[@KeeWeeLim]

Thanks for sharing the tips! I had a hard time dealing with many similar situations when I turned vegan years ago. And I realized it had less to do with the other person's actions but my own inner struggles most of the time. I think it's really helpful to have a supportive and understanding partner, else it will be tough.

[@brownble]

I completely agree! Whenever I was dealing with these issues I also realized it was more about me. That is so helpful to keep in mind, and you're right, it completely helps to have a supportive partner, even if they never make the change themselves. :) Thanks so much for watching!

[@brownble]

I know, I loved Kee Wee Lim's comment as well. I know it can be hard for some people to eat around others who eat meat, and harder still if you can't reach back to your past to understand where this person might be coming from if you've never eaten meat (and good for you! wow!). What I always say is we have to remember that each person has their own journey to go on with food, and the best we can do is inspire them through our actions, and I find that it's also good to see those actions that bother us in others as just one step of possibly many that the person will take in the future. We always think people will never change their ways but sometimes, somewhere, somehow, people start making small changes. And you never know if perhaps that little lightbulb moment started with you, just by sitting and eating next to them and showing them how you can eat differently and still be the same person :) Thanks for watching and commenting Vinay!

[@brownble]

Exactly :) Thank YOU for watching Vinay! It's always so nice to have you watching and commenting! :)

[@ID-qd1qk]

I’m frustrated about my boyfriend’s inability to give up poultry. I accepted the fact he would not give up seafood, but consuming poultry after watching many documentaries and videos I shared.... How can you kiss someone eating dead animal flesh and letting their body be a graveyard to murdered animals?!?!?! I’ve been plant based for 16 years and as years go by, it’s becoming harder and harder to cope with those you love who support brutality of animal agriculture. How nice can you be????? Jesus, what a dilemma......

[@brownble]

Hi there! Thank you so so much for your honest comment and for venting a bit. I know this can be hard. I know it can be hard to show these images and information with the people you love and have them not make this change. I'm so sorry this has been tough on you. Just remember that even when people make the decision to still eat animals it is usually about their own personal issues and attachment to these foods, not about them not caring. I know for us as vegans this can feel impossible, but after so many years of seeing our students and their families go through this, I've seen how for some people it is simply incredibly hard to make this change, for some people it takes a very long time, and yes, some people never want to join in. I do think though that the vegan movement is going more and more mainstream, and many people who thought they would never make this change might feel differently as it becomes easier and easier in the future. Things have been changing really fast, and I think more and more people will be open to it in the next few years. Sometimes we need to take a deep breath and continue to inspire even if it feels like we're never going to get there. I find that another thing that helps when it comes to relationships is to remember that our partners are never "perfect", and focus on the things we love about them, even when there is one aspect of their lifestyle that we disagree with. We have to come to some kind of middle ground and compromises that work for both if we want to stay in the relationship. Deep breaths and patience in the meantime :) I know it's hard.

[@richmoreno9938]

I feel you. It’s too easy to be vegan these days. So many dairy free and meat substitutes that have no difference in taste or texture at all, not to mention healthier. I don’t understand people’s resistance at all. It’s very sad and frustrating to have a partner that doesn’t get it or simply doesn’t want to change. Never go into a relationship thinking that just because someone is vegetarian (still consumes dairy) or only eats fish is ever going to change. That would be a note to myself moving forward. As it is now, my GF still consumes animal products and it’s very hard for me. Especially living in the same household.

[@brianadelatorre5649]

I want to get back into Veganism but now I am married. I brought it up to my partner and he is not open to trying vegan meals or sides. We also share a connection with food, it is how we bond. So im afraid that we will disconnect.

[@brownble]

Hi Briana, Thanks for sharing your story here with us. I can completely understand the fear you have. I think oftentimes our partners' rejection of eating vegan foods comes from the fact that they don't know that vegan sides can be just as delicious as their meat and dairy-based versions. They picture bland, uninteresting ways of serving vegetables, and don't know they can eat delicious mashed potatoes made with non-dairy butter and milk, or wonderful pasta recipes, delicious roasted or grilled vegetables, etc and so many other dishes that they already love and eat that are vegan by default. What I would suggest is simply making food that looks and tastes really good, and place it on the table without putting too much attention on the fact that it is vegan or "different", just continue putting the focus on that shared moment together. Eventually, he might be open to trying some of those dishes and will realize that vegan food is simply normal food, just made with plant-based ingredients rather than meat-based ones. Give him time without pushing it on him, let him see what delicious goodies can be made, and remember that you can still share your meals together (and your life together) even if you're eating different things. I hope this helps even the tiniest bit!

[@AmadeaSzamosi]

You're amazing and finally I found a blog that I truly want to commit to. Can't wait until you'll be super famous and I'll be able to say I was there from almost the beginning.

[@brownble]

Hi Amadea! Your comment made me smile so much when I read it. You are too kind! I'll be happy if I just help other people go through this transition easily, and of course it doesn't hurt having awesome people like you reading and watching! I always picture all of you when I'm creating content. It inspires me so much to work harder and give you content that will be helpful. Can't thank you enough for watching (we have a podcast too in case you love listening to podcasts. You can find it on iTunes or Sticher by searching for Brownble). Thanks again for watching! :)

[@AmadeaSzamosi]

Brownble I haven't tried podcasts before but I'm an athlete and we're traveling a lot so I might give it a try! Thanks for all the hard work.

[@brownble]

Yay!! Thank you Amadea! What sport do you practice? So happy to have an athlete as a viewer and listener!

[@AmadeaSzamosi]

I'm playing D1 basketball! And I actually listened to the one about body image, use of spices and one more on the road and I loved them! I'll definitely stay in touch with your channel and maybe actually sign up for membership when I have my own household one day!! :P

[@brownble]

You are so kind Amadea! THANK YOU!!!!! :) So much fun to picture an athlete on the road listening to our podcast. Love it! :)

[@binge.nutritionist]

OMG I NEEDED THIS. Thank you.

[@brownble]

So glad it helped Marissa! :) Thanks for watching!

[@maimohamed3590]

Yes, thank you so much for helping as I'm a vegan and my partner is not 🙏✨✨ BE KIND TO YOURSELF , yes love it 🙏✨

[@user-cp1zv5ic3o]

Love this video, so encouraging! 💚🌱

[@brownble]

Thank you so much for such a lovely comment! I'm glad the video was helpful :)

[@philipwiss]

The one problem with what you say is that some people feel so deeply that they cannot just cannot share.

[@brownble]

I know Philip. People are all so different from each other, it really is something that each couple has to go through and find out what works for them and how to find a compromise.

[@ginalogist]

how do I cook for him??? I don't want to create a demand for chicken, for example by buying chicken breast to make for him. How do I cook for him and not feel bad for animals (if I cook one) or him (if I decide I want to only make vegan meals?

[@RamDaRealist]

Meat tastes better

[@Satsusss]

@@RamDaRealist people don't go vegan because they hate the taste of animals, they do it because they no longer want to pay for animals to be abused and killed for them.

[@sandyvarao3061]

Thank you SOOO much for this videoo!!! You're attitude about this is so refreshing, THANK YOU!!!

[@brownble]

You're so welcome Sandy! I'm glad you found it helpful!

[@lorandiel3263]

Oh my freaking god thank you so much for this video... I've been having such a hard time trying to figure out the relationship with my boyfriend who I'm pretty sure I'll spend my life with. Anxiety was not helping at all. You shed so much light onto the situation, so many objective thoughts and grounding perspective. I've found this video really randomly but it was a sign for me, my weird brain to get my shit together and stop thinking like everything that I'm doing is the only way to do things, like veganism is my top one priority, which is not and like a compromise doesn't exist. I noticed how full of myself I've been. Thank you so much for making this video.

[@brownble]

Oh Lorandiel! Thank you so so much for this comment! I'm so glad you found it helpful and yes, absolutely it's all about compromise. There are as many ways to be vegan as there are vegans out there and you have to find the way that keeps the peace in your life, relationships and mind. That's the way we help animals and the planet the most. Thank you for this lovely comment which I had somehow missed!! It made my day. I wish you two a whole lifetime of happiness together!

[@opalqueen21]

Hello Kim, Happy Valentine's Day to you and your family. It was so nice to see you again sitting down and sharing your views. Nice hair style and great stole. You explained the subject very well. Though I am cent percent vegan but I respect everybody's food choices. For your surprise in my entire life till date I never got a chance to eat with a non vegan person. I mean this is called cultural effect and nothing else. Looking forward to see you at Pinkcity Jaipur. Love you so much.

[@brownble]

Vandana! Thank you so much for your beautiful words and kindness as usual. Ok, so now I'm impressed. You're not only vegan from birth but have a completely vegan community! I love this so much, hopefully the future will be like this for many people around the world. You're so lucky! Happy Valentine's Day to you as well if you celebrate it, and if not I'm still sending lots of love your way. That can be done every day right? :)

[@veganeverydayy]

Hey, I live with my partner and my partner is not vegan. How can I slowly get my partner to understand how important it is for me to have a home were we only eat vegan food? The food that we buy from the store in my oppinion should be vegan. My partner works as a kook and its ok if they bring a singel portion of non vegan food to home, but otherwise I want the food to be vegan in home. Thanks for doing this video.

[@brownble]

Thank you so much for watching and commenting! :) I think every couple is different and so I think in your comment you might already have a good compromise but of course you need to have the open conversation to see if this is something your partner would agree to. You aren't asking them to never eat animal products at home, as you don't have as much of an issue with bringing food leftover from the restaurant, so maybe this could be the compromise, and ask if they'd be comfortable with having the rest of the ingredients for home cooking be vegan. Talk openly about why this is important to you. For cooks and chefs this is hard, because they of course want to be able to cook in their style of cooking and with the ingredients they want to eat, so if you can't come to this arrangement, maybe the next conversation would be about boundaries in the shopping, storing and cooking, including them in the process so that the meat and dairy are things they're in charge of, and the plant based items and foods are things you're in charge of. I know it's hard and challenging, and sometimes it takes a while for someone who isn't vegan to understand why we have such strong feelings about this, but what's ultimately important is that you're still able to cook and eat vegan and that they support you in this, even if they aren't joining you. Even if there are animal products in the home. You can still do you, and that's sometimes the only part we can focus on while our partners come to understand our motivation. In my case, my husband had to see the images of what happened to animals to make a change. But he had to do it in his own terms, at his own time. Remember that your partner has a right to make up their mind and eat how they want to (even if we see things differently), so this is a conversation about compromises, as it would happen with anything else you disagree with. What can you give to make him more comfortable, and what do you need to feel more comfortable. I hope this helps! :)

[@monica.masala]

I so need this..I feel so impure..my best friend is living with me..and she made egg in my kitchen...I feel choked..my gooddd

[@brownble]

Hi there! Oh I hope the tips helped here Monx, I hope you can find a way to keep the peace at home even if your roommate still consumes animal products. It can often help to think of how they might be on their own journey, just like you once were, and how your being able to get along and cook together in spite of this might make them open up to the possibility, seeing that it doesn't have to be restrictive or hard or isolating, that vegans are normal people. We must never forget most of us vegans were once upon a time not vegan, and look how far we've come! We sometimes have to be patient with others in order to keep the peace :)

[@eduardarodrigues2772]

I really needed to hear all of this. Thank you for this video!!!

[@brownble]

You're so welcome Eduarda! :) Thank YOU for watching!

[@daichi6076]

I expected the tips are for both of vegan and non-vegan, but they're basically tips to "SILENTLY LEAD NON VEGAN PEOPLE TO VEGAN". Omnivore people don't silently lead vegan people to non-vegan so I personally leave them as they're. Fairness is the most important thing for me. I'd appreciate if you could introduce tips to help non-vegan partner who is never willing to change his/her lifestyle feel comfortable with vegan partner. How not to annoy/bother them.

[@brownble]

Will do! Thanks for the video suggestion!

[@lastharvest4044]

Probably already answered, but finding local farmers who prioritize animal welfare and environmental health is something I think everyone can get behind. Especially a diverse farm with produce and animal products so you can both get something out of the experience.

[@lorenzob249]

I'm vegan, and speaking with my boss, he said I'm no better than him cos child labor is involved with the fruit and veg I buy at the supermarket. I'm baffled.. please help

[@brownble]

Hi Lorenzo, I'm sorry you experienced this exchange with your boss. What I like to say when someone makes a comment like this to me, is reassure them that being vegan is never about stating that a vegan is better than anyone else and that moral comparison is not what veganism is about. What it is about is that it's a way of eating and living that reduces the harm done to animals in a very significant way, and that if in certain regions of the world there are still humane issues with the ways fruits and vegetables are grown, you can do your research and choose sources that align with the rest of your values as well, looking after humans and animals alike. No food system is perfect, but when it comes to animal suffering I do believe that veganism is one of the ways to make the biggest impact in reducing it. Also, meat consumption also includes crop consumption, as you need many more pounds of crops to feed the animals when compared to eating plants directly, so going straight to the plants without going through the animal, still means a reduction in the number of plants grown. The Food Empowerment Project is a great website to find alternatives to the few crops that still have issues like child labor in some parts of the world, and they give you great alternatives of products you can buy. I hope this helps! :)

[@milagrosnunez4630]

So perfect❤ a question, if we have a baby, that baby would be vegan or a meat eater?

[@taylorexploresmore]

Thank you for sharing this video! Great work! 😍✨

[@brownble]

Thank YOU for watching Taylor!

[@j.l.cooper70]

This was what I needed. Thank you.

[@brownble]

Yay! I'm so so glad! Thank you for watching!

[@Tomix1980]

thaank You. i struggle a lot and it helped, or to say, i feel supported in my inner belief that i am overstretching it by trying too hard to convince others (especially loved ones). so a big THANKS from me.

[@brownble]

Hang in there... I know it can be hard. I'm so glad the video helped you. It's all about patience and leading by example. We sadly can't fight other people's battles but of course we plant seeds every single day through our actions :) Thank you for watching!

[@CarTa3]

I need some advice from the vegan community: I met this guy and we fell fast and hard and were on the brink of being in a serious relationship - we're nearly perfect for each other except for one thing: I'm recently vegan and hoping to raise my kids that way and he's a flexitarian who is adamant that meat is ESSENTIAL for health and that he could never raise his children that way (I've tried to tell him about people like this family ^^ or Ellen Fischer or any number of families raising vegan kids but he won't hear it). Last night we broke up over this issue. It's really hard for me to find good men these days, let alone good vegan men and he's 34 and wants the next woman he's with to marry him and have his children. I thought about it long and hard and decided that I'd compromise - allowing our children to be pescitarians or flexitarians and only eat meat once in a while (though I don't like it and it hurts me) but he cares for me so much that he's decided he doesn't want to make me compromise on something so important to me - so we broke up. So I ask this community, if any of you are vegan: 1) do you plan on raising your kids vegan? Why or why not? 2)Could you ever compromise with your meat-eating SO? 3) Would you give up potential love and happiness to stick with your morals and do what you think is right? Sorry for my long sob story - I just don't know any other vegans and I feel kind of at home in these online vegan communities :)

[@brownble]

Hi there, Thank you for sharing your story here with us and I'm so so sorry you've gone through issues in your relationship because of being vegan. My husband and I don't have kids, but I can totally see how much more challenging it would be to come to that middle ground if from the start you have different thoughts on how you would raise your kids. However extra points to both of you for talking about this before the kiddos arrive, so you can know what to expect from one another. Since I don't have kids, my suggestion is to maybe ask other parents how they've managed this situation when they have a non-vegan partner, if it's been hard or if they have some tips on how to come to agreements together. The best place I can recommend for that is a Facebook group called Vegan Pregnancy and Parenting. It's private but you can request to be included and they'll approve you very quickly. There are over 60,000 participants and so many different experiences you can learn from to make the decision that is right for your and your mental health. I hope this helps! I think you'll find great support there. PS I'm not affiliated with that group in any way, I just know from our students and listeners of our podcast that it has been hugely helpful :) And remember that whatever you decide is right for you, we are all imperfect vegans in some way, I know many long-time vegans with non-vegan partners, many long-time vegans with flexitarian kids, and many with vegan kids. There are no two vegans exactly alike and you can be vegan even when the people you love eat in a different way. Everyone is on their own journey with food and our relationships are also about much more than just the food :) Having said all that, ask other parents in that group, I'm sure they'll be very helpful. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story with us!

[@CarTa3]

@@brownble thank you! This is so helpful. This whole experience had me questioning my veganism.

[@yezafigueiredo]

Hey, could you tell me how things worked out for you? Going through a similiar thing right now. Fell fast and hard, feel perfect for each other, except I'm a vegetarian going towards veganism and he's a meat lover.

[@CarTa3]

@@yezafigueiredo hi. Well, there's a lot of factors in my scenario that might not mirror yours, so results may vary. But, we broke things off. We stopped talking for a little bit while i thought about things. In my thinking I started to believe I would have to concede to him a little and let any future kids eat a little bit of meat. When I called him back after a month he didnt want to talk and that was that. Then again, this was a long distance thing and we had never met and he very well could have been catfishing me or wasnt as serious as he said he was, so keep that in mind. But, if I had any advice to give you it would be this, beginning with an anecdote: I was just on a long drive home from another state and omw home I was listening to a debate our vegan king Earthling Ed was having with a college student. This student was....the worst, everything we vegans hate most in meat-eaters. Listening to this kid spew his arrogant, ignorant, selfish nonsense about why people should eat meat, I started to get riled up, I was yelling at my screen, just getting really involved and really heated. I realize now, I cannot be with a man that doesnt have the same reaction to that debate as I do. It just will never work. That being said think about how your partner treats your veganism. Are they proud of you for having strong willpower? Are they Empathetic, understanding? are they considerate about your diet? do they respect yours while also engaging in theirs? Or, does he joke about your veganism, does he belittle you a little bit, does he not understand it? Is he not willing to learn, to hear you out, to watch documentaties, does he ever (except for the initial few times) debate you from the other side? Depending on what you observe here that will tell you what to do with the relationship. If your boyfriend is the former, it may work out. He may even convert to veganism down the line, but you have to be prepapred that that might not happen. If he is the latter, It will not last. Drop him. Of course it depends on how passionate a vegan you are. If youre casual this might not apply. Of youre a fervant vegan, it might not get sour today, tomorrow, or even in the next few years but I guarantee it will become a problem. Dont ever settle or give up your morals for some temporary guy like I was going to. Its certainly difficult to find good vegan men but id rather take that chance than be with someone who does not respect me and the greatest passion in my life.

[@yezafigueiredo]

@@CarTa3 Thank you so much for your response! Very insightful! Sounds like he wasn't a keeper anyway due to the fact that he wasn't even willing to talk. No relationship works without tons of conversation. I've been vegetarian for 4 years and I've been dating for one year. As a vegetarian, things were pretty smooth, he almost never ate meat around me, only when we were at social events. Now, I'm at a place in my life where I'm more indepedent financially and can finally try and become vegan. He is extremely supportive but he is really into dairy and eggs, and I'd like to live in a household free of animal products. I told him that and he says it's fine, but I also can't imagine his happiness without these products. I'm afraid of him feeling stuck and unhappy in the long run of our relationship because of being with a vegan. I also just feel very sad and alone sometimes because he knows his stuff about veganism. He knows it's the right thing, and doesn't argue with me about that. He justs isn't as empathic towards animals as I am, and sometimes I wonder if that doesn't mean we just aren't the right match. Also being a vegan would be harder and lonelier for me because I know some vegetarians, but I know 0 vegans, so I frequently think that having a vegan SO would make things easier and would make me happier and more understood in life. But I love him dearly, truly do. He is amazing in every other aspect. I guess in this case support is enough and I need to trust his decision to try and live with a vegan in the future.

[@kaitlynejones]

For vegans with someone with a non vegan partner , do you cook separate meals ?? I do all the cooking & i wanted to go vegan but i hate cooking to begin with , i just really don’t have the money & time to cook 2 different meals every night

[@brownble]

Hi Kaitlyn, I understand how difficult it can be sometimes. I think every mixed eating household is different. Many people find their balance in different ways. For example, some families make the bulk of the meal vegan, and the meat eaters simply add the meat portion of their meal to that. Others decide to keep the home vegan and. then everyone eats what they like outside of the home. Others share the task of cooking, etc. We have a great blog post with more tips (and it has a podcast version too here: www.brownble.com/blog/2016/4/13/when-my-partner-isnt-vegan I hope these tips helps a bit :)

[@kirsten_e]

Although I love your positive attitude but animal cruelty is never okay. 💚

[@brownble]

I agree with you Kirsten, it ever is. But we live in a non-vegan world and sometimes that means that we have to have patience with loved ones who aren't quite there yet, although of course, trying to plant as many seeds as possible and inspire others along the way. It is so important for vegans to have support, and sadly, so many of the people who stop being vegan do so because of the social/family/relationship issues, which is why I try to provide a gentler approach that takes your entire support network into consideration so that vegans feel that it can be done even when loved ones don't immediately follow. Thanks for watching and for commenting! Love that there are so many kind people out there helping animals and fighting for them :)

[@kathyallen5121]

You had 6 months before he went vegan........I'm not the same vegan (person) today as I was within my first six months and it's been years.

[@brownble]

Hi Kathy, thank you for sharing! Yes, for us it's been over 10 years now and we've both loved every minute! It's a very special change that means so much.

[@helaynebaptista5241]

Nice video. Love you chanel. Congrats. Sorry for the english.

[@brownble]

Thank you so much Felipe! :) I'm glad you're enjoying it!

[@greenplantize]

My husband is a chef. I’ve been vegan for two years. He wants to open up a restaurant and obviously it won’t be vegan

[@brownble]

Hi Melanie! Oh I know it's a bit of a tricky situation and we've had students that have gone through something similar, or that have been chefs themselves, vegan AND they have to cook animal products at work. It's tough, I know. But I'm sure you can convince him to add a few vegan items to his menu and that will be a huge contribution to the animals! Rather than see what he'll be serving that isn't vegan, try focusing on helping him cater to vegans also, with every diner that goes to that restaurant and sees that there are options there, the day they get the inclination to try it, they'll feel more supported and like the process will be easier, and just for that, both you and your hubby chef will be creating positive change. Whether or not he is vegan. Progress, not perfection :)

[@onyx.daffodil1644]

I'm pescatarian.... so, fish, seafoods and dairy and loads of vegs, fruits and grains n nuts My bf, whom is just my boyfriend fro now, hes meat intake out weights there fruit n veg intake. 😂and hes picky. I order a supreme pizza as a personal order while he gags at the peppers and mushrooms.

[@brownble]

It's hard navigating two different ways of eating in a partnership. I love the mantra "different bodies different paths", to remind me that I can do whatever feels good to me, and my friends/family are doing what they feel is right for them. All we can do is plant seeds and then let our loved ones find their way. Thank you so much for commenting and watching! :)

[@marcussurleyadventures1928]

Well my vegan girlfriend expects me to make all the compromises. I eat vegan at her house, she eats vegan at my house, we eat vegan at restaurants, basically if I don’t become a vegan there is no relationship. I also gave up meat as well. However she won’t make any…Vegans basically don’t make compromises they are fanatics and that’s all there is to it. Majority of vegans are women and they use the activism within the relationship it’s really messed up. All I wanna do is eat cheese and have a splash of milk in my coffee every now and again

[@brownble]

Hi Marcus, I'm sorry you've had issues with your vegan partner. I don't agree that all vegans are like that. I share meals with my non-vegan family all the time and I respect that they might not be ready to make the changes I've made. It is often the case, especially when we first go vegan, that we are so affected by what we see in the animal agriculture industry that we are very passionate and want everyone to hear about it and join us. If your partner is in the beginning stages of her journey, be patient and let her find her feet a little bit. It certainly took me some time to understand that not everyone wanted to make these changes and that there could be peace around the table, that sometimes people would want to try some vegan foods and sometimes I would just focus on eating vegan myself and letting others find their own way or journey. All vegans are different, and we are not the same throughout the entirety of our vegan journey. If you're compromising and having some vegan foods and you do so with a true desire to want to understand where your partner is coming from, I'm sure with time and by talking about it, you can find a middle ground that works for both of you. A great way to approach a very passionate vegan to talk about the way you've been feeling is to just tell them that you're on your own journey, that you never know where that journey is going to take you, that in the meantime you'll certainly respect her choices and try some things out, but that changes need to come from within and you might not be there yet, remind each other that a little patience is always needed on both sides until you find that place where you both feel comfortable. I hope this helps a bit and that things get better! :)

[@kellypaul9094]

This doesn't seem to help with being vegan for animal rights (not as a diet but a lifestyle)

[@MatiasHamreSveen]

She's don't seem vegan. She kept portraying it as a "diet" and a "lifestyle" and only made it about the eating itself. It's not about "you can have different meals than people around you." She's a plantbased dieter. No vegan would say "it's totally fine if someone never goes vegan" (stops exploiting animals). Animal exploitation isn't totally fine, and there's no middle ground. You're either fine with exploitation (carnist) or you're against it, but can't live up to your own values (non-vegan hypocrite) or you're against it and act out your values (vegan). Just as there's no "fine middle ground" with other forms of exploitation and abuse. "It's totally fine to hang out with people while they beat kids even if you're just beating a punching bag. If they're never gonna stop beating kids, that's totally fine. You can still just stick to your punching bag and hang out with them while they beat kids." xP She didn't get what this is about.

[@steverothmans5908]

Im dating a vegan and its very difficult and frustrating. We can almost never share a meal or talk about foods we like to eat. Were always home because restaurants in our area dont have vegan options other than a salad and i feel bored bevause were always home but i love dining out. And i feel uneasy eating meat when were together, i can feel the silent, passive agressive unapproval. I also love cooking but i cant cook without meat, i cook traditional food from my area and its all meat based...Its difficult to cook vegan, takes a long time and the results arent worth all the effort in my oppinion, i just dont enjoy vegan food, its not enjoyable it feels like a chore to eat it, all these vegetables, nuts and pasta and rice...this is not food i want to eat... I would not reccomend having a relationship with a vegan at all. Im not sure of the future of our relationshio but if we ever split up - im not dating vegans ever again.

[@brownble]

Hi Felix! Oh I'm so so sorry you've had a negative experience dating a vegan. I can tell you without a doubt that there are so many ways to be vegan, so many ways to share your life if you have a mixed eating household or relationship that don't have to be about disapproval or judgement. My husband is vegan, but all of his family isn't and we share so many meals together and go out to eat together and we all accept and understand we're all on our own journeys with food. As to the cooking aspect, we have lots of yummy recipes on this channel that are meaty and satisfying, and now there are so many delicious vegan meat alternatives that you could try together. We also have an online program filled with recipes here: www.mybrownble.com but I get it, it's been hard in your specific set of circumstances and I hope you can find a way to make it work. Restaurants are adding more and more vegan choices as the years pass, and it's all about the give and take as in any other aspect of relationships. Talk to your partner about how you're feeling, maybe you can find some kind of middle ground together that includes eating out, cooking together, and keeping the focus on other things in the relationship if you don't agree on this particular aspect. I do hope you can work it out and find some common ground :)

[@kellypaul9094]

This is the most unhelpful video ever. Veganism is not a diet, its a moral belief that animals are not ours to use or eat. This video was painfully obviously just plant based for health.

[@ID-qd1qk]

Just adding to my previous comment. My BF criticizes those who indulge on sugary products and products made with flour. Then I want to respond that those are VEGAN!!!! Not the healthiest but still vegan. No murder and suffering involved. Who is hypocrite here then?

[@brownble]

Oh yes, there is so much pushback. We have a non-restrictive approach to veganism and get this all the time. We recently recorded an episode in our podcast in which we address people's criticism over vegan processed foods etc., and how it is often just a thing people hold on to in order to say "see, a vegan diet isn't "perfect" so I don't have to do it". We cover a lot of this in that episode so feel free to listen in if you want a bit of support in this regard. I'll leave it here: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep181-mini-q-and-a-eating-processed-foods-as-a-vegan/id1113482382?i=1000513538526 Thank you so much for your honest comments, I think a lot of people will be able to relate.

[@ID-qd1qk]

Thank you!

[@JLamstudio]

How can you be in a relationship with someone who's lifestyle is so detrimental to everything you believe in? It's not a matter of eating this tomato or that tomato. It's not just a preference. A non-vegan way of life is highly damaging to the environment, promotes incredible violence towards innocent beings who are unable to defend themselves, while at the same time dangerously toxic to our own health and well-being!! But yes, let's allow our partners to do what they want and EAT what they want. Every time you sit down with them, and see them eat bacon or pork chops or prime rib or roasted chicken, you know those animals DIED needlessly and often times with unimaginable pain and suffering, and it doesn't affect you? By you allowing the abuse to go on means you now are part of the problem. And if your partner ALSO realizes this, and continues to eat meat, eggs, and dairy, that makes it doubly worse. Because it's not as though what they're doing doesn't affect anyone else, YOUR choices Do affect me. It also affects hundreds of thousands of LIVE animals EVERY SINGLE DAY, and destroys this planet, not just today but in years to come. Whatever choices you make, your children thanks you. For better or worse. Remember that.

[@brownble]

Hi Jason, I totally get your point. I was lucky because my husband went vegan right after I did. However, after helping so many people and families go vegan, the one thing I've noticed is that when one of the partners wants to go vegan and the other doesn't, unless they come to some kind of middle ground of understanding, what ends up happening is even the pro-vegan partner goes back to old ways because they couldn't keep up the fight (I've seen this time and time again through our work at brownble). I've also seen many hesitant meat eaters decide to start eating some vegan foods simply because they went through a period of adjustment and their partner didn't push this on them or threatened to leave. Many of these hesitant partners have eventually even gone vegan! I totally get your passion because I would love to see a fully vegan world, but as far as what I've seen through the people we've helped, some people will never go vegan if it is pushed on them. I also see many people who simply can't be in a relationship with a meat eater, and to them I say, definitely find a person who shares your values and your passion for helping animals. But what do you say to people who have been together for 20, 30, or 40 years and one of them decides to go vegan and the other doesn't want to even hear it? There needs to be a space for compromise if we want to change people's minds about what vegans are like and how awesome veganism is. That's my opinion though, and I completely respect yours and admire your passion as well. We need lots of people like you out there too :)

[@brownble]

Congrats on going vegan Amanda! That's awesome!

[@firangele8094]

Jason Lam I feel the same way. I was blind for so long and now I know what is going on. It is so hard for me to know that my partner doesn’t understand my point and even worse doesn’t want to talk about it. It doesn’t matter how patient I am. He eats vegetarian at home since I only cook vegan but whenever he eats out he eats meat. Breaks my heart.😔

[@bichovaldez9260]

Angélica Sepulveda He seems like a nice guy

[@eduardarodrigues2772]

Jason Lam I've tried go vegan when all of my family wasn't interested. That broke my heart but what should I do?! Change parents?! Never talk to my sister again? Everyone living together is hard because we all are different. And many times I went one week vegan and then on the weekend I would eat fish, just to be able to go out with my family.. so we need know that not everybody shares our opinion and way of life

[@JLamstudio]

Let's be logical for a moment and leave emotions aside. We've already seen what happens to our bodies when we eat the WRONG FOOD!!! i.e. Beef, pork, chicken, hot dogs, burgers, fried chicken! So, what will happen when we decide to eat THE RIGHT FOOD?!?!!?! Whole Fruits and veggies, and life sustaining carbohydrates that nourish our brains?! I like to think of the analogy of going vegan to driving. If driving on the WRONG lane of the freeway KILLS US, what happens when we drive on the RIGHT lane?! Sure, even driving on the RIGHT lane could possibly get us into an accident, and possibly even kill us unexpectedly! As we sometime see perfectly healthy people( vegans or not) be afflicted with cancer. But the chances of getting killed when we drive on the wrong side of the freeway is much much worse, same as eating an unhealthy meat/dairy diet. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger right? So take CHARGE of your life. And say, "NO. I will NOT drive on the Wrong side of the street today!" If you love someone, would you let them drive on the wrong side of the street knowing it could very well kill them and do NOTHING?! Go vegan. It's THAT simple.

[@firangele8094]

Jason Lam the right thing to do is to go vegan, but people is so indoctrinated. We need to keep sharing the message.🙏🙏

[@helaynebaptista5241]

Nice video. Love you chanel. Congrats. Sorry for the english.

[@brownble]

Thanks Felipe! :)