When your partner pulls away, here’s your next move

When your partner pulls away, what’s the right action to take? No generic advice can guide you. BUT, you’ll find the answer in your level of interaction, time together, and depth of honesty.
Work with me: susanwinter.net/consultation/
The Dating Games Guide: You know you're being played, but what's the game?
And what's your countermove?
Not to worry. I’ve got you covered: susanwinter.retrieve.com/stor...
The Older Women | Younger Men Dating Guide:
Dating a younger man and wondering if it will last?
Attracted to an older woman and not sure how to make your move?
Answers to all your age gap questions: susanwinter.retrieve.com/stor...
Rough breakup?
Check out: Breakup Triage; The Cure for Heartache
Audible: www.audible.com/pd/Self-Develo...
Amazon: www.amazon.com/Breakup-Triage...
Wondering how to benefit from life's challenges?
Allowing Magnificence; Living the Expanded Version of Your Life
www.amazon.com/dp/1479176087?...

[@jaymic1]

This is very good, Susan. It reminds me of a saying I just read; " You don’t deserve someone who comes back. You deserve someone who never leaves."

[@inaric2441]

Right

[@ItsVarezen]

See now I know of people who walked away from one another and realized what they lost years later, came back and lived happily ever after. Time away isn’t always bad.

[@gem9811]

@@ItsVarezen This is true but I think we should allow ourselves to live life as normal not waiting around for them

[@biancafelton6087]

Wow. Thanks for this

[@CoolClipsable]

The moment someone wants to pull away, let them do it. That's the only way.

[@angellinegirl]

2 or 3 days is enough of a wait. If they are ghosting you - move on. If someone is really interested in you and in being with you they will not be ignoring you for longer than a day at the max. Think about it like this, if you like someone and want to be with them, would you ignore them for 3 days? No, because you are interested in them and want to be with them.

[@fabianpatrizio2865]

very true :) I've been waiting 5 weeks now.....hahaha...guess she's gone! :-)

[@devon3069]

Facts 🔥💯

[@ObyNwaogbe]

“We should never wait, frozen in place, to prove our worth.” 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 PREACH!!!

[@SusanWinter]

Thanks Oby

[@tavi885]

Love that quote too!!!

[@bruce420247]

I've lost a lot of good girls with that same attitude. My current girl wanted space and I couldn't understand it and it made no sense to me. I studied woman psychology and learn how a woman's brain works. Read that s*** and you will never be the same. We are completely different people and it isn't really about rejection it's how their brains work. I challenge someone to check it out. I wish I would have known it sooner I would have had all the ladies. LOL

[@SchibbiSchibbi]

what a sentence. Got goosebumps. Susan you are amazing.

[@vanillawaterfae]

I wish I heard this years ago! Thank you Susan for showing us our worth!😍

[@humblemum7871]

Women just grow wiser classier and more elegant with age. Susan is the example here.

[@Pioramic]

Humble Mum damn straight! :) ❤️

[@SusanWinter]

THANK YOU!!

[@SDsc0rch]

when men are 70, they look like Sean Connery when women are 70, they look like Sean Connery

[@LadyofCleves65]

@scott sanger You my friend are wrong. I am 71 and have been asked out by men in their 40's they say they are fed up with younger women. Of course I take into account they probably think I have money. I worked in a Nursing Home and Retirement Home and very few older men look like Sean Connery. I am taking about those even in their 60's and 70's.

[@LadyofCleves65]

@@SDsc0rch Baloney. You are a jerk. I was in my 40's when I remarried he was in his late 40's and we stayed happily married till his death 25 yrs later. I still have younger men approaching me.

[@JAKEBrakeModel94]

The real hang ups are when it IS effortless in the beginning & you think everything is going one way and then they pull away...

[@strawberryjpeg6000]

JAKEBrakeModel94 yuhhhh that’s happened to me and it was just in the beginning :/ I’ll be patient

[@UnexpectedWonder]

Exactly! That's what happened to me multiple times.

[@joeblow1942]

JAKEBrakeModel94 Just happened to me this week. I haven’t dated in years but I’ve been through this before so I know it’s time for me to go dark.

[@BestKayneUwU]

Just happened to me too, she was pulling away and I told her I was going to do my own thing for a bit but if she wanted to talk to feel free to call me. Been 2 weeks already so I guess it’s over, it sucks.

[@Achilles94627]

@@BestKayneUwU Two weeks is not a long time. I've had girls re-initiate contact with me after months of silence.

[@SuperQdaddy]

Usually they have someone else...who entered...the 3rd party and they are not sure what's going to happen...they try to keep you in the mix...its not cool...move on !!

[@meenakshikhatri8549]

'I don't say this to hurt you, I say this to help you.' EXACTLY! Thanks Susan

[@pokerqAK47]

I thought he pulled away but he was framed and spent 50 days in jail waiting for a trial. Lol.

[@daneashley7651]

Anya K run, girl, rannnnnnnnnnn

[@marciamellow1211]

Completely hestarical...

[@ladyboss4591]

they din't give him his phone call? lol

[@OlympianVenus]

lol! This made my night

[@kaylasheppard7746]

Holy crap! I need an update on this story lol

[@nettrucker]

"When you partner pulls away" Drop her - him like a dead weight and move on with your life.

[@athraa4936]

Too many damn games out there these days. It is beyond ridiculous. PEOPLE will act so into you then all of sudden pull away. It causes psychological damage and abandonment issues. It is so sad out there.

[@Nekole1]

I agree

[@doriswhite1348]

I wouldn't contact someone who vanishes. I feel that if a man wants to be with a woman he will. I don't think texting will change anything.

[@trejofamily5043]

Doris White Exactiy....

[@sandraspice3098]

Doris White but what if that person you love not got your contact number in first place and he own a shop but not allowed to mix business with personal life ?shall I try give him my number or wait to see if he does ?we got chemistryxx

[@doriswhite1348]

I'd wait. Up to you. Someone who owns a shop can make a personal call or text. If he was already in touch, he'll be in touch again if he wants to.

[@bruce420247]

Yeah guys want to text and try to fix the situation but it actually pushes them further. Read about women psychology and you'll finally understand that we don't think nothing alike and once you learn the simple s*** to do you'll be the best man ever. We study how to cook, we Google anything we want to know. Check out women psychology and better know the person that you're sleeping with

[@doriswhite1348]

That's right. Even sex doesn't mean the same for hetero women as it does for hetero men.

[@anewloveofficial9137]

I totally agree with you Susan! In my opinion, you should never beg someone to love you, let them go away if they want to because the person who loves you the most is scared of losing you. It's okay to be hurt once but be sure that you won't be experiencing the same pattern again. Improve yourself and know your worth so you will get the upperhand in the relationship.

[@44Stephieb]

Straight to the point no chaser just the way I need it

[@SusanWinter]

Love your comment! Thanks Stephanie.

[@jannieschluter9670]

They pull away because they think you are of lower value than that they see themselves deserving, so they want to friendzone you, putting you on the exchange bench.

[@canm7157]

you are delusional lol

[@toscadonna]

Pulling away = seeing someone else 99% of the time.

[@darkhorse7460]

Agreed. Sniffing out options because all they have is an Idea the next best thing will come around and what happens? Usually reality hits them and they realize you were pretty great, after all. Ugh. Move on, indefinitely because it's hurtful and degrading to be treated this way.

[@dylanjones9354]

Not always. Sometimes people feel suffocated in a relationship if they are always around each other and never take time for their hobbies / friends / other / etc etc.

[@LisaGemini]

@@darkhorse7460 Yes, love yourself enough to set standards and have boundaries.

[@SandraWade666]

Not always. Sometimes someone is on the spectrum and go into a shutdown to regroup.

[@catec3102]

Susan Winter- I had a guy wait THREE weeks the last couple times to ask me out again, and he acted all casual, like nothing was wrong. He'd tell me what a great time he had with me last time!! Then did it again!! 😡 Anyways he's long gone, but I just wanted to bring up the point that some guys will have the nerve to play you like that just cause they know you like them, and they must not have anything, or anyone "better" to do at the moment. Never again! Lesson learned! If someone even pulls away to "shop around", I'd still be done with them because if you REALLY liked someone, you would never even consider that.

[@blackwarb]

well said...so many guys are very devious esp online and will play tricks with girls and guys to get sex and power.

[@biancafelton6087]

Yeah. Men and women do this. Not just men.... i must say i am also guilty of this.

[@brendanino6948]

When she said "he might want what you want but in the future or NOT with you" my heart broke. I felt like a confirmation that I was not pretty enough. But I listened longer and she was right we take it so personally but why wait more than ten days for someone too see your value. I wanna be a victim and be sad and depressed but thankfully i feel the obsession subside. choosing me should not mean losing a man. I am going to be choosing me from now on

[@antilaw9911]

Because people get angered at one's we love. Just cuz don't hear from them for days does not mean they are not Interested or don't love you Reasons could be endless.

[@davidthomspson9771]

I have no next move...I dont know wtf to do...I genuinely liked her.

[@YamCherie]

You have a really unique presence. It is warm and personable, but confident. I'm very curious as to your area of training/education. The perspectives you share are interesting. I've learned how to recognize the time to step back versus move forward, by understanding more about the evolution of courtship rituals. There is a dance that takes place in courtship, somewhat like a tango. The man steps forward in pursuit, step-step, and then a pause, back-step and the woman steps forward. There is a back and forth dance of pursuit and retreat. Sometimes one partner will even take more than one step forward, possibly a one-two-three, but then a back step, because if you pursue with too many steps forward, then you are chasing your partner backward. This is too much for anyone. We all need our partner to pause and step back, to let us catch our breath and have a chance to move forward. So if your partner takes a step back, even two, then you pause for a moment, step forward once, twice at the most, then pause, and wait for your partner. Do not rush the dance, do not run your partner backward into the wall and stepping all over their feet. It is beautiful when you keep the rhythm of courtship, but give your partner a moment to catch their breath. It won't take long for them to continue the dance. But if it does, you don't force it, because you cannot take their steps for them. If they have given up the dance, dont be aggressive. Pause, and then bow, and turn away. If you chase, then you will catch someone who doesn't share your enthusiasm to keep dancing. To continue dancing under these conditions is forced, and it's mechanical and without beauty. Never do this to yourself, because you will always be left to force it to happen.

[@SusanWinter]

Hi YamCherie. My background is Opera, and then broadcast television (now CNBC). Thanks for your comment.

[@anachristopher2973]

Wow what an amazing insight

[@MM-Iconoclast]

Great comment. Thanks!

[@paolasoltero53]

I just ignore him and haven't reached out or care too now...not someones second option if it took someone that long or having to run into me to talk to me screw it...didn't need u then don't need you now...done...

[@shay4ojibwa638]

Paola Soltero that’s great, more power to you, truly...so...why are you here my dear?

[@itsedwardhuang]

Your closing message was hilarious Susan. I've almost watched every single one of your videos and podcasts. In this period of time it seems like I'll never get out of this funk, but I know I'll eventually pull through. In the future I'll probably have the exact same reaction saying how silly I was to watch endless hours of these videos. But I undoubtedly will know deep down I didn't regret a single second from all the knowledge and clarity you have provided me. Keep up the excellent work and thank you for cheering me up. You're the best Susan!

[@SusanWinter]

itsedwardhuang I LOVE YOUR MESSAGE!! Thank you for this. 😊

[@blessingribeiro22]

Wow. I just stumbled on your videos and I am so please. Easy straight to the point advice which actually makes a lot of sense. Thank you. What I take away most from your videos is that we should love ourselves enough to be authentic and not wory about coming across needy or desperate. The paradox is that when you are being authentic its hard to let yourself be subjected to being treated badly because you tune in to your intuition and know not to force anything while bringing your best self to the table. Great vids. Keep it up

[@SusanWinter]

Blessing Ribeiro thank you, thank you!!

[@willnatmartin]

I am so pleased that I discovered this channel. Susan's confidence, sincerity, knowledge, relatability and overall professionalism, is refreshing and empowering!

[@gnnaal]

Your videos REALLY speak to me and hit home. Through your genuine and heartfelt advice, you make it easy to fully understand my situation and solutions. Thanks for all you do Susan :). You're full proof that beauty comes in all ages.

[@albertbaza2767]

Every video that I have watched on your site, have answered my questions about issues I am having with my relationship. ABSOLUTELY the best I have found. Keep up the good work. I am sure many have been set free from toxic relationships, by watching your videos.

[@rn6710]

I LOVE what you said at the end about finding someone and the connection is effortless. I can't wait until that happens for me:)

[@sebastiandrews4816]

Woman, I love you. You’ve helped me so much already. I’m gay and this is all very helpful for me as well, feels like it’s not about gender.

[@shelleydooney3720]

I like you. Your presentation is professional, frank and to the point. Your voice is gentle and soothing.

[@indulekhamoore3373]

You are absolutely the best relationship advisor I've ever listened to - so much wisdom in a few minutes x

[@Goldan1]

I love Susan so much I always come back to her for that real strong type of advice. She has gotten me through a lot she's like a big sister to me🧡

[@smiletown5201]

Never a truer word said Susan, especially your point made about dating being 'effortless' when you're with the right person, I only watch your videos to keep my sanity when I'm dating 'confused guys' lol...thank you Susan for helping me with this..:-)

[@SusanWinter]

Kat, thanks for the lovely comment. Glad you're clear!

[@Gardenpath11]

Kat O yes it's so true and I wondered why it was so easy then and not now. It's because it was with the right person. I will keep all this in mind when I meet someone... not effortless =not the right one!!!

[@smiletown5201]

M....you will know...;-)

[@biancafelton6087]

Yeah i definitely had an experience where the dating phase was effortless and i would saybi did really enjoy it while it lasted. However thy is not a guarantee that the relationship will last bec the guy cheated on me just a day after telling me he loves me. Dodged a bullet there. I was hurt but i have moved on now.

[@jimstevens1726]

Thanks again! I watched this a few times. It's something nobody wants to deal with. Videos like this are an enormous help. You should do one about people that had a relationship for a few years, did nothing wrong, and had someone pull away. That is very confusing.

[@THESILVERNARUTO]

Please please

[@edgarscirulis1129]

You’re right for wanting what you want! - I love listening to you!!

[@Tluv_1955]

I agree completely move forward even as u are waiting

[@beatrizfonseca6059]

I love that you really calm and make me feel peacefull again.

[@hamimattee7307]

Your wisdom makes you so attractive Susan! Thank you as always

[@manudassault3547]

Once again you tell me exactly what I need to hear. You are trully my cupid whisperer ❤❤❤🏹 Thank you 👊🏼😉

[@IrishCassidy]

You explain things so well, but in a kind way.. Thank you.

[@bvf2787]

Thank you for the encouragement and kind words.

[@joliemiranda5685]

Spot on Susan! In depth, direct and well delivered message!

[@Reilly5]

Man, waiting these days during quarantine is so hard because time feels so slow! Though it does give us more time to think about relationships!

[@hugograjales9206]

Susan , honestly you're my angel . You're my source of wisdom

[@ces-gp]

You are amazing! Thank you!

[@paradisecolors]

You are THE BEST relationship coach I have seen :) Love you

[@GodskidUr1]

I like how you say it raw and upfront 💛

[@MB-qm2re]

Thank you for this Susan.

[@margaritakleinman5701]

This is truly excellent advice, thank you very much. Everything you said makes total sense!!

[@RousLM]

To not be personalized as you say... you explain this very well and give a couple of "simple" points that are just clear and straight to the point but when we are stuck we cant see, and they will really make a difference, thank you Susan :)

[@theresadacyshyn6552]

Susan my dear.....you are kind of awesome. Love your posts. Rooted in kindness, and building women’s sense of self, all while unveiling mysteries. Your wisdom is very much appreciated.

[@Iris11music]

You're amazing Susan. You really are. And, you're saving my mental and heart health. Thank you. So much.

[@wayneblueheart2346]

With all due respect . If my partner pull's away . I put my big boy pants on , and I move on , no sense in making matter's worse ! Just man up , and grow up , and move on ....

[@blackwarb]

Advice like yours is black and white and insensitive. It causes alot of issues for humans. I'm sure you didn't mean it that way..but i'm telling you that type of cold robotic advice is harmful to humans.

[@sa2m0i12]

Honestly, I'd like to say thank you soo much for all you said on this video,, I've really learn a lot of new, good and helpful things..

[@crisj7704]

I am reading your book on Magnificence got from Amazon. Wow, you are so deep and smart. Thank you for writing that book. I really need it in this time in my life.

[@stormyzee5272]

Thank you ❤ This was so comforting.

[@mariavuga5363]

Susan, I waited one year and a half :( I started listening to you two weeks ago, I am learning so much from your advice. Thank you very much!

[@reshmanavin7502]

Susan, you are just incredibly amazing.This is just one of the best of the best videos i have watched on dating and relationships. Susan, you hit most of the points that i wanted to hear, quite honestly, i followed your advise and its effective. I realized something out of watching all your videos, that men are not hardwired to process their emotions efficiently not as much as women do. All the best to you. God speed

[@ernestomunoz5623]

Appreciate all the help, and I hope you had a great year. Happy Holidays ☃

[@Roscoslayer]

Thanks, needed to hear it!

[@morebacon1780]

Thanks. Another goldmine from Susan. 3:59 onward is pure gold. 👍

[@Artakapachigh]

Respect! You have great points.

[@dilarafataliyeva2904]

Thank you for your advices💗

[@marktracy3063]

I've spent a long time watching videos on KZbin,but it's just listening to what you say that i really found the answers i was looking for. It was hard to listen to these words but in fact maybe i made my own movie...now it's time to face reality. Thank you so much

[@inneralignmenteducation]

Happy to have stumbled upon you. The simplicity, the truth.. So nice'.. Thank you.

[@umeshshetty3834]

You are just awesome. Just heard two videos and got a lot of clarity in terms of relationships. God bless you and may you guide many people's lives on this earthly journey

[@marleeshore1387]

I love your content. Clear, concise, no fluff, straight shooter.

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

Marlee Shore, you're so sweet and so beautiful ❤❤❤😊.I will be glad to know you more

[@throneofgrace2949]

Amazing sister! You are SO RIGHT! 💕🙏🙋‍♀️

[@micsph8657]

I know this is back 2017 but this is exactly what happened to me starting 01 February 2020. It still Raw but i am better now.....I am Walking Away everyday with the feeling bearing inside thinking this person will come back to me...I'm starting to date...Thanks Susan & i am now recommending you to my friends.

[@elimiller8019]

Great advice.

[@mayaveraviel2895]

Love you Susan for sharing this wonderful content

[@cherylross393]

A time limit is the best strategy I think one man I saw was having mental issues and told me he just couldn't go forward .I think if people are honest you can have lots of respect and sympathy. I didn't push the issue like oh we can work on this I let it go and I wish him well and I'm happy I did this for myself .

[@genallen769]

I’ve been watching you for several years for various relationships I’ve been with and you’ve always given solid advice. I do look forward to the time I meet someone where it is effortless and I think to myself “why did I ever watch these videos to begin with?” 😂😊

[@stella9785]

You're fabulous!!! Thank you!!!

[@ezgicetin5855]

Always a good start to the day, when a new Susan Winter video is up.

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you!!

[@andyfield3614]

...actually having watched again she makes a lot of sense nice one Susan !

[@alfiemarie]

dayum i love her so much!

[@altopatraogee6630]

Thank you Susan!

[@jp-ju1iv]

I love your advice Susan!!

[@meckyharikedua8934]

This video is a blessing for me. Thankyou Susan. Amazing words really.

[@margaretl8851]

Such great advice. Thanks for making me feel better.

[@haycam100]

Your right on it ..your amazingly right

[@christianpulisic7784]

Danyle Craig,You got a lovely smile 😊

[@bridgetolivekinyua804]

Great message

[@tavi885]

😊 thank you so much. Very helpful & empowering self worth. Great advise...

[@danielsolares2258]

Thanks Susan. I'll follow your advice. Love your videos.

[@eddajustice8345]

Thank you for the great advice

[@mikebarnes1239]

Thanks for the strait forward advice, there is so much conflicting information all over the internet. Its hard not to get anxiety when you notice the texting pattern starting change. Just need to keep emotional self-control

[@khloestrong7157]

You are a phenomenal life coach ❤

[@Lana0624]

Thank you! Such great advice as usual. You're the best!

[@SusanWinter]

Thanks Lana

[@laurabaier9363]

You have such good and wise advice !! Thank you

[@evangelistsstone]

Great advice Susan❤️✨✨💫💫

[@kintuinka]

Thank you susan! Just my situation you described

[@rebeccarobinson2681]

This is straight facts

[@Taswolf]

I love you! 🙂 Thank you so much!

[@supertrooper1631]

Your always the best Susan !

[@Rose-jh6qx]

You are amazing, the best advise I ever got!!!!

[@deborahdominguez5221]

LOVE your videos!

[@LisaGemini]

Great advice, Susan. Reach out once and that's it. We are all dating complete strangers. Everyone is hiding behind a screen, they know they won't bump into you at the grocery store or some other place. If they are too blind to see your value, let them GO. BTW you look awesome in purple, Susan!

[@twinsoul1137]

Susan, you always give sound advice. Love your video's. Just wish I didn't wait on them for this long. Lesson learned!

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you Twin Soul

[@tetflaminiano1674]

where’s the video for pulling away in a serious relationship? 🥺

[@birdiecurry2100]

Really great information. Thank you Susan!

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

Birdie curry, you are so beautiful and so cute ❤❤❤.I will be glad to know you more