The Dumbest Characters In Gaming Ever # 5

[@nicholasmorgan7609]

When I was a young lad, I felt a terrible sting from Lance's betrayal. Playing again, I saw the signs and questioned how I never saw it coming.

[@bubblegumxo]

I paid somewhere close to 0 attention to the story as a kid. There were some things I processed obviously, but only the broad narrative. Actually one of the reasons I want to go back and play through it. I bet it has a great and colorful story that flies over the heads of young kids. It's kind of funny actually how terrible these games really are, and how adults and older siblings would be very cautious about exposing it. But in reality kids are very naive and don't even process the darkest stuff the same way. No, I'm not talking about the extreme surface level violence.

[@polybius32]

Although it was probably unintentional, I feel like Lance's AI being so bad is a great way to reinforce on gameplay the idea of him being a pathetic person.

[@SoldierOfFate]

His AI was nowhere near THIS bad in the original PS2/Xbox/PC release. I would know because I played the game to death in my heydays.

[@Skona99]

This is why Vice City is my favorite. I tell people it's my favorite so that they want to play it, then I just sit back and listen to them scream "LANCE LAAANCE!!!"

[@kraktjoetv]

i did this like a week ago, sitting in disbelief during Cop Land as Lance stayed in place next to my flipped burning car screaming "laaaaaaANCE LAAAAAANCE"

[@tjroybaker7964]

The bolt axe berserker always brings back good memories. I did a draft run once and someone told me to capture and use him while treating the bolt axe as his personal weapon. He’s honestly absurdly strong for how early you can capture him, especially since Birthright’s mid game has an enemy quality drop off for some reason after a few chapters. Funnily enough, the bolt axe can still be good on him, even though it’s better off on someone else.

[@kucinglaut453]

On the bright side.... Free sawn-off shotgun everytime Lance dies. Profit

[@obinnamommoh185]

26:00 no for real, what WAS that? what was with all the vomiting? Also, WOW Lance really is a dunderhead good lord

[@anenigma8378]

Cop Land is was a really frustrating mission for me at first and you did a good job of explaining why. Nowadays, I just do what speedrunners do and use a police helicopter. I think playing The Definitive Edition makes it worse because Lance's AI not working or him falling through stuff is more common. That epic car crash is also a showcase of DE's wacked out physics. Lance is somehow dumber in Vice City Stories. There's one mission where the goal is to keep Lance alive while he rides a motorcycle towards people in cars shooting at him. It's one of the hardest missions and it's all because Lance wants to drive towards his own demise. All in all, Lance is pretty pathetic. If he wasn't tagging along with 2 GTA protagonists, he wouldn't last much long as a criminal.

[@carltonleboss]

His brother was MUCH better at the whole being-a-criminal thing.

[@bubblegumxo]

I feel like a lot of this game could be made MUCH easier just by memorizing where everything spawns. Not just the good guns and explosives, but things like helicopters too.

[@superkonijn988]

What makes the bolt axe berserker even funnier is that Bolt Axes can't cause critical hits in fates which means it disables the boosted crit rate the berserker class comes with. Overall an unfortunate unit that could have posed a threat with any other axe type weapon.

[@KeeperofKittens]

If I remember correctly, in Theme Park you don't even need to make the odds of winning 100%. I forget the exact %, but I think you can change it to low 80's/high 70's to really pump up the profits at the expense of the peeps.

[@WhiteFangofWar]

Not sure if you can do this in Theme Park, but in its counterpart Roller Coaster Tycoon you can charge for restrooms. Cruel, but it works.

[@eternalrenix9071]

Those carnival games made me physically sick. I've played a few of them, somehow they always have a way of making you progressively ill.

[@HMZeroTwo]

Some men want to see the world burn, Lance loves to see cars explode.

[@CarbonRollerCaco]

As in-person as possible.

[@Daniel_Coffman]

Seeing that Bolt Axe Berserker with 0 Magic must've come as a shock.

[@Dr.Livingdark]

But Git, if not for Lance Vance, then who would be in charge of the Lance Vance School of Dance?

[@Ironicicle1990]

Lance forgot to do the "Lance Vance Dance".

[@tespenkr9924]

He lost his chance.

[@RobaGudis845]

Thanks to you I was able to discover Valiant Heart and every time it appears in your videos I remember how blind I was when I didn't know about that great game.

[@Zwyrx_Hgqfyggz]

Wait til the SF4 AI hears Lariat is invincible to projectiles but they can just duck under it

[@WhiteFangofWar]

Textbook example of a suicidal escort. And you thought a crime boss would be able to avoid having to deal with that kind of heroic nonsense. Feels more like a 'Levels I Hate' than 'Dumbest Characters in Gaming Ever'. The Fire Emblem example reminds me of the enemy Archer in one of the Final Fantasy Tactics missions who forgot to bring a bow... or any other weapon besides Throw Stone.

[@greenhowie]

Felt the exact same way on first playthrough, the "Miami Vice" similarities probably made me think Lance was more competent than he actually was.

[@Gerik75]

It's no coincidence that Lance is part of the most hardest missions of the game, like when we have to rescue him in a landfill or this mission.

[@SoldierOfFate]

And the worst part of it? You don't even get paid for saving his dumb ass in Death Row!

[@Gerik75]

@@SoldierOfFate It's maybe to composate that the next mission, we gain 50,000$.

[@bigsof7381]

I hate the Death Row mission due to the fact that the cars just ram into you and destroy you in like 3 seconds

[@solipsisme8472]

I played so many hours of Vice City, and Lance has always been the most annoying character to me. When he betrayed Tommy I was like "so what ?"

[@WhoCrappedInThisShack]

What was he thinking?

[@Nehfarius]

Better question: WAS he thinking?

[@delta3244]

I've lost count of the number of times I've asked and answered myself "what in the world was I thinking?! I wasn't thinking? Ah, that explains it."

[@rcblazer]

I remember it always being fun to fail a mission in Vice City because Lance managed to injure himself to death going down some stairs or a ramp on foot. Wait, did I say fun? I meant infuriating.

[@Monsterdemo]

Always nice to see vandal hearts along with age of empires mentioned in your videos.

[@selicyoats]

Speaking of dumb Fire Emblem enemy weapon choices, Lifis in Thracia 776 comes equipped with absolutely NO weapon despite being the boss of chapter 2x.

[@LedYouAshtray]

19:23 he thinks he's Dalsin from FE5

[@LedYouAshtray]

By the way this oversight exists in FE7 as well, there's a random myrmidon in the Jerme map that has a Horseslayer he cant use on Eliwood hard mode

[@whoisthisgit]

Dammit, I had a feeling there was one somewhere in that game, but I couldn't remember. Oh well, he can be in a future episode.

[@LedYouAshtray]

@@whoisthisgit lol yeah i just had to double check to make sure I was right

[@PlaystationMan-e3p]

You can yall thank rockstar's greed for making Lance ai even more stupider than the original game, which you cant buy any more. Thanks to you're truly the almighty rockstar. I swear lance's was much bearable in the original game.

[@chris_player2995]

if you think Lance was a moron in VC you should play Vice City Stories

[@raziyatheseeker]

Y'know the more you put up videos of Vice City and other classic GTA games, the more I wonder how anyone is able to complete the main story. I could barely get past the first couple missions at best, back in the day, and my other friend was much the same. Stuff like braindead AI for babysitting important characters just makes it even worse. :v Also TIL that Zangief can literally spin to win Street Fighter 4. I feel this is karmic justice for how BS the AI was in classic fighting games, especially from my experiences with Mortal Kombat 2.

[@Multienderguy37]

I’ve had this game for 10 years at this point and never beat it. Kinda disappointed learning that lance is evil, I like his design.

[@bubblegumxo]

Have you played many GTA games? Literally every one has someone betraying you, to.a point where people are making memes about the 6th one. You're not wrong though, could have been a cool dude.

[@ArsonRaboot]

You should try Vice City Stories! I think it's the best game in the franchise. And don't worry, Lance is an idiot in that one too!

[@MasterKnightDH]

14:05 Wait, is that Quest 64 music I hear there?

[@Davtwan]

4:29 - Because when it comes to first-gen GTA cars, everyone is just person-shaped balloons of red fruit juice.

[@ivortering7120]

24:20. Well, it's pretty much a distilled definition of any gambling machine. The odds and prises, even if organisators are fair, should be arranged in a way that average winnings make up less than 50% of all money invested by participants (after all, you have to account for running costs, nevermind profit). As long as you keep ratio, it theoretically bring same amount of profit, just slightly less reliably (but then if YOUR luck is good, it would bring even more). It's a good thing Roller Coaster Tycoon doesn't have these things, otherwise I would abuse them to no end. Also on that note, does this game not allow you to place any kind of garbage bins? This sound of people throwing up is extremely annoying, indeed. But then again, in RCT, people would vomit regardless of how many seats you arrange for them. Actually, that's another case of dumb behavior. People in already uneasy condition would still go to roller coasters, only to vomit immediately upon exiting. Seriously, if they could, they would make a mess right on attraction itself.

[@bubblegumxo]

"You got 9658 experience points" WHAT!? Wouldn't that be funny if that actually was a secret way to max level quickly? They probably thought noone would be dumb enough to put an archer in melee range 🤣. Jk Git ❤. Always warms my heart when you bring up Vandal Hearts 😊.

[@whoisthisgit]

I left cheats on by mistake from something else I was doing and thought it would be funny to leave the moment in.

[@MasterZebulin]

Artificial Stupidity at it's finest.

[@CarbonRollerCaco]

AKA Lance Abuse+Dumb Strategy Game Programming. For Mother Russia. Speaking of Tails, mint rules.

[@bigsof7381]

Tip if you aren't bothered to do Cop Land,steal a heli after you use the cop disguise (There's one next to the garage you go to get the cop's clothing

[@borjitasstoi]

the ai needs to be improved lance is the clear example of dumb npc

[@Wiimeiser]

4:30 I think he overlapped the hitbox for a bit. Remember, this is a 6th gen game.

[@gaddyric]

I like the Theme Hospital puking sound better.

[@frog9304]

What were they thinking

[@karlispovisils5297]

24:14 Euh-cuhuh

[@A-kun1104]

15:20 what is the name of this game?

[@breakerdawn8429]

Someone tell me too

[@frog9304]

Shrek 2 on the PS2

[@benjaminarenas8507]

Maybe playing the vanilla version of Vice City instead of the Rawmastered port might change how the AI behaves in this mission

[@thatoneenvy]

I'm a normal person. I see GTA Vice City. I click.

[@albertusaswin2012]

Brother, please make a video about the smartest Pokemon trainer in the games.

[@Nzcade]

Agree

[@Grand_Kaiserin_Elysium]

since i dont care for gta, imma comment on the fire emblem knight thing, i’d bet he was supposed to be a general, not a knight, and those can use axes (unless im mixing up games)

[@SonicEXEProductions]

Btw, if you’re complaining about him getting stuck in a wall, it’s because you’re playing the definitive edition aka the undefinitive nonsense edition

[@whoisthisgit]

I'm not complaining and I don't care which version it is, I just enjoy laughing at dumb AI or silly glitches.

[@SonicEXEProductions]

@@whoisthisgitsame, it’s funny when the ai is dumb

[@tespenkr9924]

Tommy was way too nice with Lance. He could have ended Lance for being so incompetent. However, after Sonny betrayed him, he didn’t want to do that to his allies. Then Lance betrayed him and paid dearly.

[@chris_player2995]

4:35 lol

[@qu1253]

Bad AI companions that you have to babysit are never fun, but what grinds my gears even more are companions that are supposed to be competent badasses in-universe, but in gameplay are absolute idiots. Case in point: Jaheira in Baldur's Gate 3. She defeated Sarevok and Jon Irenicus (the villains from the first 2 Baldur's Gate games) alongside Gorion's Ward (I refuse to accept Abdel Adrian as canon, sue me) and has spent the last 100 years working with the Harpers to protect the Sword Coast from all manner of evils. Yet, when she joins you to storm Moonrise Towers in act 2, she has a horrible tendency to overestimate her own strength and loves to rush in alone against groups of enemies that promptly mop the floor with her. I facepalmed so hard when she thought it was a great idea to take on 2 halberd users, 2 archers, and the jail warden all by herself. She was eating dirt one turn later. I had to reload and do that entire long arse fight all over from the beginning and make sure my tanky melee characters were always out in front to prevent Jaheira from going in too deep.

[@yalovoyhznepomny]

Great video

[@deadmanprime4793]

Cop Land is the worst mission in Vice City because of Lance's stupidity and the blitz of cops after the bomb goes off. One on their own is bad enough but when the two issues clash it's terrible. It makes Demolition Man appear awesome in comparison (and I don't think that mission was terrible to begin with!). But it's not the absolute worst GTA mission. That goes to Supply Lines in San Andreas. The DE only made it worse compared to the original.

[@whoisthisgit]

I'd say the ice cream truck mission is the worst in Vice City, if it counts. It's incredibly boring and long-winded, there's practically zero challenge if you hang around a Pay 'n' Spray and go inside whenever you get a wanted level, and if you accidentally leave the truck even once or get thrown out, it automatically ends.

[@deadmanprime4793]

@whoisthisgit I can usually find a bit of fun in the Ice Cream Truck. Just wish the properties weren't necessary to beat the damn game. Even if they were, they could have made it more obvious to the player outside of a throwaway line. Vice City has its greatness... but when it gets stupid, oh boy does it get stupid.

[@Redhead-pf8le]

>Cop Land is the worst mission in Vice City because of Lance's stupidity It was worse in the original PS2 version since there were NO CAR to steal and repaint that one is a PC version onward addition

[@trueblueryu5713]

Lance and that dude you have to break out of Prison for the Malibu club mission both used to go down all the time when I played through this game! They caused so many resets!

[@abotto5667]

greeeeeat