Why Are Narcissists So Argumentative?

When difficulties or differences arise, healthy people dialogue cleanly, seeking clarity and understanding. Narcissists have not developed that skill. Armed with the notion that they must teach you a lesson, they go straight into the stubborn, argumentative mode. Dr. Les Carter describes how this works and how you are not required to play along with their dysfunction.
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[@lorinapetranova2607]

Rumi said "the answer to a fool is silence."

[@Dsgn7]

So TRUE! My ex is the classic narcissistic bully. Always judgemental, always argumentative. I would call them "circle arguments"... going around and around in circles, never resolving anything. Dragging the past into every argument. He could never take responsibility for his own actions. Took many, many years, but finally free!

[@brstfr7126]

What I find exhausting is the utterly predictable need to argue about or contradict or qualify the most innocuous statements. "Nice day out." "WELL IT'S GOING TO RAIN THIS AFTERNOON." "I did the laundry." "BUT YOU SAID YOU WERE GIONG TO DO IT THIS EVENING." "What a nice painting!" "IF YOU LIKE THAT KIND OF THING."

[@nursekathy4480]

Every narcissist, I have ever had to deal with, starts the fight then yells “I’m tired of fighting with you”.

[@lifewithapurpose237]

They are so argumentative: because they hate being

[@mattdonna9677]

Yes, it is maddening to have someone argue, criticize, or debate EVERYTHING you say. So I rarely speak now, giving her no fuel. It is like living with a bratty child that no adult ever said no to when they were being raised.

[@CG-ll9js]

Everything turns into an argument with them criticizing & putting you down.

[@JAS-co9dn]

Every mole hill became a mountain, every disagreement became a fight to the death. Nothing was ever resolved just an endless circle that went around and around. So glad its over with.

[@davidyardley512]

Because their stamina for disagreement, getting negative attention and draining your energy is limitless.

[@mdee860]

I always used to wonder why having a different opinion from Narcs was so threatening to them. It never made any sense to me. As a highly curious person, how is anyone supposed to learn something new, if you can't even have an intelligent conversation or discussion as to why someone thinks or feels the way they do??? Their errupting anger over any difference of opinion (& it can be over a benign topic) - was just baffling to me. Thanks for this wonderful description & explanation Dr. Carter!

[@TallSilentGuy]

1) Talking over you.

[@SurlyMiss]

It used to shock me every time my narcissist would accuse me of having intentions I never had. It would shock me every time they would completely twist reality and flat out lie and be willing to fight to the death to defend that lie. There have been so many things that have left me stunned. It helps so much to understand why. At times I really thought I was going crazy.

[@kaddylady5853]

They're argumentative to the point where even when you agree with them they want to argue!

[@unbrokenpieces-potterandcl7235]

I like how this guy actually tells how to engage with narcissistic people with kindness rather than just cutting them off. However, I know that in some cases you just have to cut them off for good

[@lifewithapurpose237]

my experience taught me that they

[@texuztweety]

The biggest single Red Flag to watch for is the arguing

[@user-qv9nw1dq2f]

Arguing with a foolish person makes you look foolish and arguing with a narcissist is nothing but making noise. I prefer being calm, cool and collected. Living with dignity, respect and civility. Narcisistic drama, trauma and chaos is not my style. Thank you dr Carter ❤God bless you❤

[@castaway123100]

Usually they don’t argue in the traditional way , they constantly interrupt, contradict and pretend like they didn’t understand you.

[@umeshg9107]

When dealing with a narcissist

[@davebennett4087]

Once you realize what you are dealing with, the best course of action is to RUN FOR YOUR LIFE and not look back.