Why Are There So Few Female Directors?

[@supermarc]

As a female director, I can confirm the misogynistic nature of the Hollywood scene. I found that once I started dressing as a male, my career skyrocketed. Indeed, the male suits contain significantly more pockets to store my chocolate bars.

[@tortis6342]

#stopfakepockets

[@Thaddeus2007]

@@tortis6342 Okay then...

[@heynunya5986]

😂

[@YashRaj-zs1oo]

clever

[@TragoudistrosMPH]

@@Thaddeus2007 haha, no it's real. Lots of female clothing has fake pockets! They are accents for show lol

[@krombopulos_michael]

45% of the Wonder Woman budget was spent on chocolate.

[@John_Q]

Khaine's Lair -Said no one ever.

[@John_Q]

Khaine's Lair What reality is that fuckboy? That film critics are often biased and praise movies that are garbage (Marvel)?

[@KhadaJhin04]

Why wonder why Wonder Woman was paid..FUCK I RAN OUT OF WORDS STARTING WITH W.

[@YuiFunami]

well, most DC movies have been pretty awful so it's not that much of an achievement to be better than stuff like man of steel and the 97 batman

[@stuff6181]

Khaine's Lair just cause it's better doesn't mean it's a good movie. It's an ok movie

[@marmiteghost]

the onion has MASTERED the art of making both sides think the video is attacking the other side

[@harrywakatipu2547]

I was just thinking that. I have my views, but I was wondering if I was being mocked or supported...

[@bigmofo1122]

There is only one side attacked in this video. You can't claim that this video support the idea that 'women are oppressed', otherwise it would not be satire. This is a satire of Buzzfeed. You are aware that the Onion is fake news, right?

[@SWLinPHX]

Big Mofo: OMG I wish people would stop calling everything they don’t like or agree with “fake news“!

[@bigmofo1122]

" OMG I wish people would stop calling everything they don’t like or agree with 'fake news'!" Sound like projection. The Onion is _literally_ fake news. It was fake news before CNN enter the fake news market. The Onion is the original.

[@SWLinPHX]

Big Mofo: 😉 P.S. There is PLENTY fake news on Fox as well. If you don’t realize that then you are one of the lemmings swallowing it all up.

[@sniper6081]

Next thing you know they'll want to vote.

[@Misterz3r0]

There needs to be chocolate at polling stations first.

[@reformedzoomer]

@George Washington Thus far it's actually not.

[@Blade.5786]

​@@Misterz3r0That would be a great way to get people to vote

[@cerberus144]

My mild Dyslexia had me misread the title as first as "Why are there so few female dictators" lol.

[@Murkrust]

yo I swear that was teh video I clicked

[@AeonsOfFrost]

I mean, that's also an issue. Women need their own Hitler, Stalin, or Mussolini to look up to.

[@Aqquila89]

Years ago, the Onion did a video called "First Female Dictator Hailed As Step Forward For Women".

[@matthew3740]

cerberus144 I read it as that but I don't have dyslexia

[@matthew3740]

BrOwN3yer0$eBUD how do you know he is lying what if he is telling the truth

[@nanusantos1696]

Honestly, everyone in hollywpod and outside it should have access to Chocolate regardless of their gender, there's just no way yo work without it

[@Blade.5786]

Well, actors and actresses in Hollywood do have to stay in shape, so they'll have to eat limited chocolate.

[@MultiPaulinator]

They also should have more shopping malls on set, 10-minute breaks once every hour or two where they can speak with the female cast and crew solely on the topic of men or to engage in half-naked pillow fights and the older female directors, of course, deserve a constant supply of yarn and crochet hooks. I mean, it's only fair.

[@BoffinGrusky]

After watching this video, Anita Sarkeesian has announced a new $250,000 Kickstarter campaign to fund the production of a documentary that will explore this question.

[@kharris3352]

I'd watch that

[@krombopulos_michael]

watcherjohnny I'm pretty sure she asked for way less than that, she just ended up greatly exceeding what she asked for because internet boys couldn't resist obvious bait and caused such a ruckus that people thought she had a point.

[@john_hunter_]

watcherjohnny so that's why her budget is so large. She uses it all to buy chocolate.

[@Player_Review]

Sarkeesian is actually saving up all the funding she gets to euthanize men under the guise of making video games less fun.

[@petitio_principii]

That would be very elucidative. I hope she addresses how even female directors like Bigelow don't really count as such, as the patriarchy objectifies them and uses them as tools to produce not chick flicks, but boy flicks. And the movie aspect ratio itself is growing to ever more phallic proportions.

[@chupacabra9357]

Honestly this video would've been much funnier had it been about female dictators

[@SimonASNG]

Half the viewers would have expected it to be about female directors. But it doesn't really matter since the explanation (the lack of chocolate) would be the same.

[@jgarden3925]

Onion already did that one before this video... pretty funny

[@deatheven13]

We're reaching sarcasm levels that shouldn't even be possible.

[@klondike5116]

Top 10 anime disagreements

[@asahelsmith9490]

Progress is the equality of opportunities, not the equality of outcomes.

[@asahelsmith9490]

There would be more women directors if women directors worked longer and had more of a sense of humor.

[@willowd0ll]

@@asahelsmith9490 yikes...

[@tom_something]

I am tickled to death over the "this can be read two ways" people. Their argument is, "You can either see this as The Onion saying that sexist notions of women are unfair, or they're saying that women literally can't function properly without chocolate and baths." No, you sweet sweet vidalias. This cannot be reasonably taken both ways.

[@Sewblon]

You forgot the part where you actually explain why this can't reasonably be taken both ways.

[@henrymcdowell3103]

I think you're missing the point. This seems to be mocking the idea of equity when taken to an extreme.

[@iminformedbecauseisawabunc9402]

+Tom Haflinger Yeeeaaaah I disagree.

[@LK-fq8qq]

+Henry McDowell What the hell does this have to do with equity?

[@henrymcdowell3103]

The difference between equity and equality is that equality gives everyone the same opportunities. Meanwhile, equity makes up for systemic oppression by giving more benefits to people who need them (thereby working against oppression). However, imo, the term "equity" is often misused to give unfair, or absurd privileges to oppressed groups in a way that absolves those groups from personal responsibility. I believe the example I had in mind when I made that comment a little over a month ago was this article from the Telegraph:(www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-life/11780891/Air-conditioning-in-your-office-is-sexist.-True-story.html) where a woman claims that the air conditioning is sexist because she is cold. To me, this seems to be the exact scenario this video is parodying, with the Onion claiming it is sexist that women don't get chocolate fondue fountains. In addition, many feminists complain that their aren't enough women in high-level business positions (only about 6% of Fortune 500 CEOs are women). However, instead of trying to prepare women to work the long hours and fight to the top of business hierarchy (like male CEOs have to), many feminists instead demand the system change to allow women to get to the top, as though they should be required to only put in minimal effort. The Onion encompasses that mindset by blaming the system for not giving female directors warm baths, chocolate fountains, and bon-bons. What do you think the video is about?

[@Tychoxi]

I'm a cis, straight, white male and I'm not afraid to admit I love chocolate.

[@PotatoPatatoVonSpudsworth]

All humans love chocolate. If they say otherwise, get the silver bullets.

[@limeyfigdet7460]

The amount of people taking this seriously is ridiculous.

[@Zetler]

They're so damn good. Why isn't there an Onion TV news show on HBO??

[@psicologiajoseh]

Exactly!

[@SonOfTheChinChin]

they tried but failed

[@nicholaswatson2725]

You never disappoint me onion, i don't think it possible

[@morganstasney1934]

As an actor, this is bullshit. Every professional set is overflowing with chocolate.

[@wzackwzackw]

The funny thing is that the craft table (snack table) prob does have lots of chocolate and treats

[@lydiazap7243]

I'm fascinated by how her bangs hide her eyebrows 50% of the time

[@superdestructo]

Where I work they installed "Activity Stations" where people can use coloring books or play dough to relieve stress and they replaced the secondary break room where we'd usually have sports on with a "Meditation Room" so people can do Yoga.

[@PotatoPatatoVonSpudsworth]

Did that actually happen? I mean, it's true that stuff has all been shown to improve productivity...

[@curtisleow]

Call them directresses, and have a Best Directress Academy Award. Problem solved, you're welcome.

[@PotatoPatatoVonSpudsworth]

It'd make a lot of people irrationally angry, though.

[@NinjaPieceLOL]

I was expecting her to start eating some chocolate. I think it would have funnier.

[@deathbyathousandcats]

Hm, in my area, especially during the pandemic, producers for streaming platforms Required so many sex scenes (because it sells, they said) that female writers and directors can't stomach it. I also saw that, sad to say, male directors are tough about getting controlling money, staff are paid in small salaries as long as it can be done. But I know a lot of line producers/management/coordinators are mostly women, I don't know about other countries.

[@mikeletoris2487]

Because there's always a muscle car near set to entice male directors

[@morningstar9233]

The real reason there are so few female directors is because there just aren't that many of them.

[@n3gi_]

So, my sister isn't the only female who eats chocolates all the time. Fascinating.

[@juliuscaesar5397]

She's spitting facts

[@galaxytrio]

I love mildly amusing satire that supports completely safe and acceptable left-wing views!

[@willowd0ll]

Huh?

[@therabbithat]

chocolate

[@melchizedek1187]

Catherine Hardwicke is a great director--she did an excellent job directing 'The Lords of Dogtown.'

[@Dorothy.Vivian]

I read that as dictators. I am very disappointed.

[@DendyJungle]

Don't get me started on the tampon budget

[@daniil-shevtsov]

Will they make more Peter Rosenthal videos or is it gone as all other great onion series?

[@bencheshire]

Informative and fair.

[@Arnold_X3]

your fake daytime TV show, Tpday Now, or something, that was absolutely the best type of Onion parody.

[@Alhoshka]

That's some treacherous waters you're navigating, Onion. Tread lightly, lest you invoke the wrath of the umbrage-taking industry.

[@metta9743]

Aw I thought it said female dictators.

[@uncle6780]

Not enough unfolded laundry

[@joshcollins9125]

Finally! Somebody says it!

[@SonoTom]

not enough government intervention and subsidy. obv.

[@kingpotato7183]

how can you relax while directing simple answer YOU CANT that's why there are so many male director who are growing grey hair because they're stressing too much

[@rojm]

give em' some throw away movies and give them a good rating and some awards. keep em' happy and QUIET.

[@PotatoPatatoVonSpudsworth]

Really hope this is a joke...

[@robertagren9360]

Why a woman didn't directed Willy Wonka. = The river is brown but it's not chocolate.

[@TheZooropaBaby]

......wait is this Vox?

[@20alphabet]

PROOF that truth is funnier than fiction!

[@Nuro1992]

equal opportunity NOT equal outcome

[@hieuvuminh8761]

i misread that as dictator

[@pavese1379]

0:41 She looks exactly like David Bowie wearing a wig

[@joepemberton9031]

I thought it said why aren't there more female dictators and that somehow seems less outlandish of a topic for them than this

[@mparker123]

I read the title as Dictators, and was very confused when it started

[@hariseldon3786]

95% of preschool teachers are women - why aren't there more male pre-school teachers? Here's an idea - because more women choose the training that leads to that profession... and the men choose the training that leads to another profession e.g. engineering. No one 'forces the choice' - people choose for a variety of reasons... and that's how the numbers settle out. Of course, if we are going to establish quotas for each profession based on genitalia, then why not choose based on height? Weight? Eye colour? Skin colour? Religion? Politics - oops that one seems to be operating already - 80% of college staff identify as leaning Socialist (I joke not).

[@thomasfoster1985]

Have you watched the video? It's the onion. It's a joke

[@hariseldon3786]

@@thomasfoster1985 It used to be but not now... this "equity" idea has got outa control.

[@thatssofetch3481]

Because men are shamed, often by other men, for wanting to choose those jobs.

[@feralkat9370]

2009, NOT 2012, OSCAR FOR BIGELOW, SAME YEAR MJ DIED AND HUBBY JAMES CAMERON LOST TO HER FOR AVATAR! SHE WON FOR 'HURT LOCKER' (2008)

[@jantewierik3905]

The Triumph of the Will was actually about Leni Riefenstahls quest to get some chocolate from the third Reich. And who would argue that it isn't the greatest movie ever shot right?

[@benkelley148]

I don't want to be directed by a woman, they drive cars.

[@backgroundni99a]

Because, how can someone who can't make up their mind direct a team?

[@wildwatcher9564]

I thought it said female dictators... which would've been pretty fascinating.

[@TheNoiseySpectator]

1:05 I thought that was Lilly Tomlin.

[@vyl4650]

'chaise lounge' hurt my ears

[@AngusStewart01]

Choclate will make cinema great again .

[@yo.adrian]

God damn it. I didn't check who uploaded this KZbin video, and I fell for it within the first 30 seconds.

[@351cleavland]

This brings up an important point: what about on-set baskets for when their eggs fall out???? We don't want the key grips slipping on those squishy ovals and sliding into set props, do we? That would be embarrasing for any female director!

[@jeremym8490]

This is girl humor incarnate. I feel like I just five episodes of Sex in the City in a row. :(

[@sebastiansullivan6450]

Oh I thought it said dictators

[@hotsebulba]

Bigelow won Best Director in 2008, not 2012.

[@immortalsun]

Wait… Am I a woman?

[@immortalsun]

Yes, you are.

[@PotatoPatatoVonSpudsworth]

The Immortal Sun-kun | This was great and you made me very happy.

[@03Grunt-arrino]

Satire like the onion has never been more relevant or necessary.

[@aq1w2e3r4]

I hope the actors don't realise they're the working for the Onion

[@KevinSmith-qi5yn]

I thought it was because of their fights with Aunt Flow. A bloody demon who's stare makes a woman bloated.

[@DavidLee-id3lf]

Thought it said why aren't there enough female dictators.

[@writwits5826]

I honestly thought this was “why are there so few female dictators”

[@MegaZidzid]

what a beautiful woman

[@bevivoices]

I thought it said dictator.

[@BatAtBat]

Chaise Lounge? Do they mean chaise longue?

[@nathanielmorris6579]

At first I thought the total said dictators

[@hop-skip-ouch8798]

Sad to see salty/toxic discussions in an onion news article.

[@willowd0ll]

Huh???

[@YuiFunami]

I read this as dictators

[@constantinosschinas4503]

should have 57billion views.

[@diond6976]

It's kind of a weird joke cause it's within a directors power to have those things available. Just gotta pay for them and people to get them for you.

[@socomseal93]

This commentary was so blatantly sexist, I am totally offended. Shut down the Onion, rabble rabble rabble! - The Huffington Post

[@kapjoteh]

I thought it was asking why there were so few female dictators

[@Ruok90]

I can hear the faint sound of triggering in the distance

[@FirstLast-cf4mi]

I think the correct term is 'chocolatier' babe.

[@Ruok90]

This video hits the 'left' and the 'right', which is good, because if you are able to self reflect, you can bitterly smile about your own hipocrisy. The dominant amount of women there and men there will equalize themselves, because backlashes cause backlashes again, until everything evens out. Especially since work is getting more and more technically augmented and similar skills are needed for the majority of jobs when automatisation sets in (computer usage, deductive skills). Won't be more than 20 years in the west and ~50 years in secular states. Source: Humans need not apply, research on KZbin

[@southpakrules]

@sinwithagrin Still butthurt?

[@southpakrules]

@sinwithagrin Your supersonic reply shows your agonizing butt pain cannot let you relax, huh? Don't worry. 2024 is near. You'll have another shot.

[@pixelninja1129]

I thought the title was "female dictators" and I was very disappointed.

[@thereisnosanctuary6184]

And periods. We can't always be stopping a scene cuz yer ragging

[@willowd0ll]

We will period blood in your favourite shoes

[@jeffreyhydroice74]

I thought it was supposed to be about female dictators.

[@okmega22]

TFW an Onion video makes you realize that you're a female director.

[@LividImp]

Directing in too much like driving to let a broad take over. Ten minutes into the job and they'd somehow wrap a camera around a telephone pole. Back to craft services with you dames.

[@joeskis]

Do women really want to be patronized?

[@Lu4455]

Some of us sure do, joeskis.

[@Gatrehs]

I so thought this said "Why are there so few female Dictators"

[@Gatrehs]

@Archie TM Oh my god they fucking got me.

[@BlueBird-wb6kb]

Am I woman? I need that chocolate

[@cannedstarfish6194]

I read the title as "female dictators" and quickly started typing a long line of names......

[@14104]

HGVhGVxJY 4Cz2xD0 Won't be as long as the list of names for men. So the title would still stand lol

[@elijaprice]

I've heard that their menstrual cycles attract bears. So if you want some beloved male movie star to get eaten by a bear, go ahead and cave to the woke brigade.

[@JamesBond-xx1lv]

I read "dictators" and was disappointed as fuck... Lol

[@JamesBond-xx1lv]

@Archie TM thx bro

[@JiveDadson]

Don't go SJW on us, Onion.

[@rdococ]

Trust me, it already has.

[@jianju4916]

Awww, I thought for a moment it said, "Why Are There So Few Female DICTATORS." Well, at least there's Merkel.

[@jebatman756]

This is awesome!!

[@artandlife7181]

There are few female directors for the same reason there are few female CEOs. These professions (and many others) require monomaniacal focus and time commitment, and men accept that more than women. Women want a more balanced life with work, children and family, social relationships, yoga, book clubs, travel, etc. Nothing wrong with that (in fact it's a better way to live), but women should stop blaming and complaining. They should either work 16-hour days and ignore their families, or they should stfu.

[@mejo1238]

I thought it said female dictators. Like kim jong un

[@NyetTube]

They are better at cleaning and cooking than telling people what to do for 12 hours straight. When is my dinner going to be ready!

[@b.a.2521]

now this is an example of a joke that's not funny

[@archiem654]

@@b.a.2521 l o l

[@barakeel]

@@b.a.2521 nice catch!

[@AndyAce83]

I thought women didnt like choclate. I thought they just liked diet coke and salads.

[@Gabster1990]

We like all 3.