Why Are We Not Talking About Menopause?

In the spirit of Judy Blume’s lesser-known classic, “Fuck You, God! It’s Me Margaret Again!”, we bring you a topic no one else will: Menopause. This is a digital exclusive.
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[@anahata2009]

If women go crazy between 40 and 50 it's the natural result of putting up with male b.s. their entire lives and reaching a breaking point. Especially when you notice how much you've grown and matured while they remain helpless and dependent. The only weird thing about it is that it doesn't happen a lot sooner.

[@Echo81Rumple83]

Are you calling out my mother?

[@allenbanks910]

Great addition to the conversation. It’s not biology or a natural transition in a woman’s life - it’s men. Of course! You sound silly yourself - something tells me a lot of men AND women have probably said the same to you. Grow up and try looking in a mirror.

[@peggydetmers6911]

LOL! Good one!!!!

[@cindypomerleau950]

Lol. Isn't it amazing what women put up with from their partner just because they still have the urge to be sexually active?

[@reginap942]

Girl! You nailed it!

[@deberebor]

Fifteen years ago I asked a doctor what I could do to help get myself through menopause. She replied, "Nothing. You have to just suffer through it." And absolutely nothing else was said or suggested, end of conversation. That was when I started reading a lot of pagan authors. They actually discussed menopause, and had advice on how to experience it psychologically as well as treat uncomfortable symptoms. They were still aware of ages-old women's common sense about the subject, information that I think conventional medical practitioners could learn from. Just the advice on how to reframe the discomfort was amazingly helpful.

[@anahata2009]

I hope that was the last time you saw that doctor.

[@ttthecat]

Can you recommend a book or author? 🙏

[@lauraanne5175]

which books?

[@chezmoi42]

@@anahata2009 Really. A woman couldn't do better than that? 😳

[@jerryeberts]

Pagan. Great word.

[@TreebeardsHome]

Today I learned all the bs I’ve been going through lines up with menopause. I haven’t had periods since I had an ablation in my 30s. (An ablation is a surgery where they burn away your uterine lining to treat severe endometriosis.) So, I now realize that even though I have many of the symptoms, because I didn’t have cycles no one thought that could be what’s going on. Thank you Sam Bee & writers! It’s just gross that at 47 no one told me it could be menopause, I learned it from a KZbin video. Smh. We need better healthcare & training. Argh! Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.

[@HarborGilmans]

My Primary Doc prescribed me a low to moderate dose of zoloft because my hot flashes and night sweats made it hard to do anything normally. It has worked perfectly! they don't know how exactly, but serotonin and estrogen seem to be related, and the drop in estrogen correlates to a drop in serotonin. That makes the nervous system more reactive. Balancing serotonin helps a lot. I was surprised, and had no idea this was a thing. I was concerned she'd put me on hormones and put off going in and asking about my terrible meno symptoms.

[@mariag.8242]

I’m so glad you found out, any way at all! Get a new doctor /smh!

[@annefitz7346]

Wow you need some new healthcare providers! I’m an NP & that would have been obvious but wouldn’t want to miss another more serious cause of your symptoms. Feel better

[@courtneybermack]

I found out because I started spotting through my ablation and getting all the period symptoms I'd thought I'd been rid of. "I've hated the world for three days and now I have a migraine? Oh. Right. My bits are female and inconvenient, better find that advil."

[@indigothecat]

It's also important to note that menopause affects all people differently with different levels of severity. This also means that there should NEVER be a "one size fits all/most" treatment course for patients seeking help for menopause problems. It's also equally important to note that no longer being able to get pregnant has no bearing on who you are as a person; this is also true even if you never gave birth to any children. (We're definitely NOT running out of humans any time soon.)

[@campreboot6789]

I couldn't agree more we are all different and we all go through things differently this is correct on most things the medical industry is just looking how they can make more money on people

[@VeretenoVids]

THIS! I was very lucky in that, outside of a couple of tidal wave periods, a few nights of sweats, and feeling hot all the time (never really had hot flashes, just was flipping hot for 5 years), I was all done at 47 with minimal symptoms. I haven't needed hormone therapy. My mother, on the other hand, had a really rough time. I remember her literally bursting into sweat--one winter day turning the a/c on in the car it was so bad. Hormones really helped her. Thank you for saying this and let's keep shouting it from the rooftops!

[@bohemianmermaid]

Still super happy I didn't have kids, somehow pulled that off. Me and my friends still high five about it.

[@shinnam]

@@VeretenoVids I wish I were so lucky. Have had hot flashes for 18 years. There needs to be way, way more research into it. As a teacher I have found I have way more hot flashes when I am in proximity of young men.

[@sopyleecrypt6899]

@@VeretenoVids it really is so individual, isn’t it. I’m 49 and haven’t any symptoms at all yet.

[@pambronson4467]

Here is my life hack for night sweats. I got a mini fridge (made sure it is one with no freezer inside) and two new pillows. I removed the shelf from the fridge and stuck one pillow inside, placed the unit next to my bed so I can open the door while still laying down. Now when I go to bed I rotate the warm pillow to the fridge and the cold one helps me get to sleep quick. When the inevitable hot flash strikes I barely have to wake up to swap the pillows. Hope this helps 💙

[@chezmoi42]

You're such a clever boots! 🤗

[@Dutch3DMaster]

Next to it not being a thing I was able to do here...the 4 months I was suffering hot flashes (I'm a transwoman who went 4 months on a testosterone blocker and nothing else, which throws the body in that same state quite fast) I felt like a fire was being lit up in my chest and I tended to either wake up right before it started or after I was basically floating out of my bed completely drenched in sweat....swapping a pillow would not have done anything.

[@annjohnson8437]

That's ingenious! 👍

[@jaklg7905]

It doesn't matter if my bed or pillow is hot or cold, the heat comes from inside of me. I don't usually wake up until I am completely drenched in sweat. Everything is wet, me, my hair, the bed, the pillow. I am talking about having to go wipe down like I just got out of the shower. I have to either go somewhere else or put a towel down and switch out my pillow and covers. That is what nights sweats are.

[@moridgeway]

I remember my wife going thru menopause. It was a long, arduous process. The hot flashes were , for her, I think the worst part. And it went on for a long time. All women have my utmost sympathies.

[@squirrlee6463]

You, sir, win the internet.

[@ErutaniaRose]

As someone who has seen my mother go through it, and is worried about going through it later in life, thank you, Sir.

[@GodofPainBelial]

It's sad how barbaric women's health STILL is. Most disturbing.

[@HallelujahBK]

Reminds me of that Freida Mom commercial that they wouldn’t show during the Super Bowl a couple years back simply because it showed (With absolutely zero graphic imagery mind you) a post-natal mom living the truth of a night post childbirth. CTFO people*. * and of course by “people“ I mean corporations because I live in the United States where those two things are apparently the same. 🙄

[@kristi1189]

Maternal mortality rate is rising also.

[@rebeccat9389]

It really is!!!

[@ryoko65]

Well ... Until recently, the Catholic church didn't even think women had souls..... so somehow I'm not surprised. * *sigh* *

[@lockandloadlikehell]

you should see what they do to men

[@davidt3956]

I loved the "what to expect when you're not expecting."

[@ashleywilliamson4765]

"...can last up to 7 or even 14 years because God is not real" I spat out my whole lunch laughing at this

[@Primalxbeast]

Or maybe it proves he is real. From what little I know of the bible, I don't get the impression that he likes women all that much.

[@AlerieHightower]

I'm on year 8, and SAAAAAAME!!

[@LoreleiMission]

My Aunt had life-disrupting hot flashes for about 15 years

[@zoyadulzura7490]

@@Primalxbeast 😂

[@jessicamoore1314]

@@Primalxbeast That is because it was all written by men

[@mecahunter7092]

No female in my family ever talked about it or even mentioned it. Due to ovarian cysts, at the age of 44 I had to have a complete hysterectomy that sent me into complete menopause. No passing go, no collecting $200! I had no idea what to expect. Thankfully other than the "menopause spread" and "it doesn't matter what time of the day or night" sweats, I'm doing great 👍🏾 😀 ☹😰😭😤🤬😂🤣(these represent my mood swings).

[@letitiajeavons6333]

My mother had an oompherectomy and woke up from that surgery in full blown menopause.

[@availanila]

My friend hadd a hysterectomy at 23 and... well you know the rest. She got a lot of comprehensive care and help I think because of their age and the fact she had a disability and dead baby to boot.

[@nike9769]

What's the menopause spread!!! 😱😰🥺 like seriously, what is that??? Does the universe HATE us!

[@evelynsaungikar3553]

Recommendations I got: cut out alcohol, caffeine, spicy foods and sugar. I.e. the final remaining sources of joy in life! Well, I guess I should be grateful they’re not burning me as a witch!

[@DJ-sv7xf]

My sister (early bloomer) had terrible period symptoms (cramps, 10-14 day periods, heavy bleeding) and I (late bloomer) did not (3-4 day periods, rare cramps, crabby a week before) so this may not work for anyone else but I noticed my hot flashes are tied to the food I eat 1-2 hours before. The junkier the food, the more additives or synthetic, the more intense my hot flashes. For me it's not the grease or spice or sugar as long as they're not cheaply made. I'm not vegan or organic, but I read the ingredients at the store and if I get a hot flash I recall what I just ate and avoid it or try a different brand. I buy foods with just one ingredient when available and stick to water, milk, black coffee and tea. I also avoid salt as it contains dextrose and anti-caking ingredients (go for kosher or Himalayan salt).

[@Primalxbeast]

If my doctor knows what's good for him, he'll keep his paws off of my spicy food, but he's from India so that probably won't be an issue.

[@KeenanDenis]

I'm in late perimenopause and have had no "typical" symptoms, aside from very long cycles. Which is such a relief because I've been an emotional and mental wreck from hormones since my first period at age 10. I'm actually calmer and happier the last couple years. What a relief. Goodbye hormones!!! You won't be missed.

[@nobody8328]

This! I had some hot flashes and night sweats, but even those were minimal. I'm still an emotional mess, but at least it's a steady, level mess instead of the random monthly roller coaster. It's been over two years since I've had a period, and it's MARVELOUS! 💖

[@CM-um8ot]

@@nobody8328 Luck you. Perimenopause has been a roller coaster ride for me. I am happy to be using hormones. Im starting to feel "normal" again 🙃

[@teresastillabower8361]

I started my period early 6th grade the frist in my class. From the start I was never on the 28 cycle. I would come early or late no pain to speak of. By mid twenty I was passing clots. The doctor I was going to never mention any kind of therapy or treatment. His plan was to get married and start popping out kids. Once I got a new doctor she put me on low dose hormones for the next 25 years. My husband got a fesectmy. And I went off the pill. But when I started perimenopause my symptoms were so bad I almost lost my job. We tried a couple of different hormones treatments. It was 90 % better. The right doctor & right treatments can save lives.

[@r8chlletters]

HRT for life as far as I’m concerned. It saved my life.

[@jorgegonzalez-larramendi5491]

i wish you could have talked to my lovely now ex wife . .. she lost it and stormed out the door.. at times i felt endangered . total loss ensued happily : i got her two wonderful cats who died in my arms past their 20s. myrtle and merlyn . more intelligent reasonable and loving than that human sinking boat. pray ps funny we loved each other and Never had a fight until the end and not even then .

[@NewMessage]

My mom went through MathewPerrymenopause. She just drank a lot, and made snarky remarks all the way through it.

[@lisahannah3175]

🤣

[@bunnyvelour2820]

Could these hot flashes BEEEE any more uncomfortable?!?! 😅

[@sparkythancztwise]

@@bunnyvelour2820 😆😁

[@sarahbarrett1247]

I think I may have that too. My main symptom is all of a sudden my weight will change and luckily none of my friends speak about it or explain it at all. 😂

[@Robbie_S]

@@bunnyvelour2820 😂😂🤣🤣🤣 I was looking for this reply or I would've made one

[@davee.9906]

Lol, that Judy Blum reference was hilarious.

[@michellestorms-vanhowe8391]

Thank you, Samantha Bee, for discussing an always relevant topic. I am a physician who has delved into this issue in detail and I have tried to help many women with this stage of life. Often, peri-menopause is characterized by estrogen excess, whereas menopause is more about estrogen deficiency. I found Bio-identical hormones to work best for me and in low doses. But, it is a complicated issue with fluctuating hormone levels of estrogen (3 types of estrogen), progesterone, and testosterone. One size doesn't fit all. And, there are other stressors that affect women at this stage of life: kids, aging parents, jobs, marital issues, etc. etc. Much more research needs to be done on women in general. Often, just listening to women and providing support is very helpful. We all need to feel loved and supported and accepted.

[@deirdremorris9234]

Keep going with your research.

[@traviscutler9912]

Women's health, like most issues with women is grossly underserved bin communities. Thanks Sam, this makes you a billion times more relevant than Colbert.

[@mikeximenez5285]

If only she had better jokes.

[@laurie1872]

@@mikeximenez5285 Get a life.

[@maribellelebre6809]

​@@mikeximenez5285 her jokes are fine you just don't get them

[@hayleybluebird]

Thank you for taking the steps to normalize this conversation Sam!

[@SisterOfDeathInAK]

The worst part of my perimenopause has been that the transition is taking yeeeeeeaaaaars, and has not meant any change to my menstrual symptoms. So I get the hot flashes AND the cramps! Sometimes simultaneously! Woo hoo!

[@bluegreenglue6565]

Oh, I'm so sorry. I keep hoping I'm over that phase, and just getting through the raging hot flashes phase... or whatever comes next.

[@shinnam]

Find yourself a gynaecologist trained in Europe, they will give you HRT, German trained are the best. It will make such a difference. I suffered with menopausal symptoms for four years, until moved to Sweden and got a German gynecologist. He listened, got on HRT. It is now 14 years since I had a period, but I still get 1 or 2 hot flashes a day but they aren't debilitating.

[@jospinner1183]

@@shinnam Depending on OP's age and health, HRT may not be appropriate. HRT is contraindicated for older women (usually those above 60, if I'm remembering correctly) and those with certain health conditions. So while OP should _absolutely_ consult a competent gynecologist, they may already have rejected the possibility of HRT.

[@birdgirl2289]

My period stopped but I'm still having symptoms... for 15 years now!!!

[@shinnam]

@@birdgirl2289 Yep, me too. Just a curious question. If you have a partner , is the person much younger than you? My partner is 19 years younger. I only have hot flashes when I am in prolonged proximity younger men.

[@wendy5116]

I am a nurse, and they teach you nothing valuable about it in nursing school. I am learning so much as I am now in perimenopause and wish I had been warned. I have a 4 yr old with social development issues (got kicked out of 4 preschools before enrolling in a special needs preschool) and we are having lots of fun 😫 my poor husband lol

[@Cuteusernamestaken]

I have a 5 year old, my only, and am experiencing perimenopause. I'm only 43. It was always weird to be so old and having a kid. Now it's even more weird to think just a few years ago I easily got pregnant, and now I haven't had a period for nearly a year.

[@wendy5116]

@@Cuteusernamestaken It’s true! Then there’s all the things they don’t clue you in when you have a kid later in life. That’s a whole other book!! 😉

[@livelylibra420]

Thank you Samantha! I'm 58 and on year ten of having ALL of the worst of the worst symptoms, made even worse by divorce, a sick child, and becoming newly poor and overworked. I've had little help from doctors because of this journey; meanwhile my friends get specially-formulated hormonal compounds THEIR insurance covers. Menopause practitioners do not exist on Medicaid or without insurance...so meanwhile I focus on the major benefit: my hormones no longer rule major life decisions!

[@Primalxbeast]

Dang, I was hoping that starting late would make it more likely for perimenopause to be shorter than that. I'm 51 and so far my periods are just a little more irregular, and many women are already postmenopausal by now.

[@michellestorms-vanhowe8391]

@@Primalxbeast 52 is the average age of menopause.

[@Primalxbeast]

@@michellestorms-vanhowe8391 Which means around half of women are postmenopausal by that age, and if I'm just starting perimenopause now and if it lasted for 10 years, I wouldn't be postmenopausal until 61 which would be on the late side.

[@DK-zu6tt]

@@michellestorms-vanhowe8391 I am 53, and my doctors says my hormones look like those of a 60 year old, but I am still having full on periods and symptoms, sometimes with 2 horrible periods a month. Averages mean nothing to women, and since there is little research on menopause, I'd be careful internalizing any "trinkets" of information.

[@DK-zu6tt]

Storyteller Kitty Time, look into Royal MACA Root with DIM, by a company called Whole World Botanical (though, I think you can get the DIM and the Royal MACA Root separately), It changed my life and made my symptoms bearable and more tolerable. I found it on my own through research, my doctor at the time was zero help. It does take a few days for the effects of taking the MACA/DIM to kick in. But it saved my life and got me out of being suicidal. Both compounds help your body produce more progestin and "good" estrogen and it blocks the "bad" estrogen. Good luck, you are not alone, sister.

[@NinaElizaStratton]

This is the segment I've been waiting for! I haven't had a period since January, and I've learned more about menopause watching this than I ever knew. It's ridiculous and I've been saying so for years... 🥵🥵🥵

[@shinnam]

Find a gynaecologist trained in the EU. They listen so much better, and will educate you on menopause better too. Female Korean trained gynecologists are pretty good too. US medical schools are more about putting doctors through the grinder than actually educating them.

[@deirdremorris9234]

See if you can find a doctor gyno that is knowledgable in Bio Identical HRT. You can be on HRT if you are 9 months or more ofnot having a period.

[@sandyallen1523]

I kept telling my doctors that I bleed too much. All I got was "some women do". Thanks to the our smart phones I found out "most women don't" n they should have looked into it

[@waitingxinxsilence8875]

Some women do have broken bones. They should’ve looked into that.

[@modernwonder]

yes, you can develop anemia if you bleed too much. Fortunately I went to a women's health center and the N.P. there told me this... otherwise I would never have known because 4+ doctors hadn't told me that yet. So, if you are bleeding too much, they need to check you for anemia!

[@mwater_moon2865]

Heavy "flooding" (or conversely really light) flows are "common" in menopause but that doesn't mean you just ignore it. Turns out what my Dr was trying to tell me was early onset menopause (at 34!) was really a thyroid condition. I refuse to see male GPs at this point, they're worthless.

[@sandyallen1523]

@@mwater_moon2865 my flooding consisted of the first 2 days being so heavy I had to change every hour which included my pants sometimes then 5 more days of a heavy average flo. I would easily lose 10 pounds that week

[@kestag2110]

Well said! My doctor, who is fantastic, said that if menopause was a male issue, HRT would be on the PBS (Australian Pharmaceutical benefits scheme).

[@persnickety369]

The expense of HRT… now THAT would be an exposé!

[@cwalker6911]

Thank goodness someone is speaking on this! Whether it’s periods, pregnancy or peri menopause our bodies change so much and we need help rather than just being told to push through

[@l.a.gothro3999]

Oh geeeeeeez...my perimenopause started 10 years before menopause itself set in. And I'll tell ya, I raised my son right; when I'd first started pm'ing, we'd gone to the drug store and he saw a copy of "Menopause for Dummies" - I bought it right off! Hopefully there's an updated version, as that was in 2007. I'm so GLAD it's all been over for a while! A low-dose HRT plan helped me make the transition from woman to the Wise Woman Crone! And I'm glad of it!

[@l.a.gothro3999]

The supercalifragilisticendometriosis didn't help either.

[@brianhanlon3527]

This is a fantastic Mss. Samantha B! Thank you for doing a piece that might help normalize Perimenopause and menopause. I am an acupuncturist and a lot of women just suffer not even realizing this is where they are in life and that it is perfectly normal. I feel lucky we are able to help them with symptoms and so many don’t even know it’s possible. Thanks again for being a good human and fighting the good fight!

[@rohankurian5641]

👊✌😘💫

[@persnickety369]

With insurance, my part for my monthly HRT is $217 for the 28 hormone pills in a foil packet… Contrast that with how affordable those same hormones are in 28 birth control pills in foil packets. I’m currently trying synthetic versions of the $217 pills which were less than $5… my body is not responding the same way to the $5 “equivalents”. HOW is this okay…?! The patriarchy want to make sure BC is readily available when we’re sweet young thangs but as soon as we’re less desirable, they bump up the expense to exploit us. It’s a “menopause tax”. This makes the complaints about the pink tax laughable. It’s such a racket. 🤷‍♀️🔫=💰💰💰

[@zetazimmer4769]

That's insane! My estradiol and progesterone aren't much more than a tenth of that price.

[@blackeyedsusan727]

BC JUST became readily available in the last 10-15 years, max. This is another example of how we need more women in government, at all levels, in all branches.

[@abyssoffortitude]

@@blackeyedsusan727 well also just because they're women dont mean they'd care about us. It has to be a women who is pro women. And if you dont know what I mean by this well we have antiwomen women in goverment already. I mean amy barrett comes to mind and basically all the aholes in the Arizona goverment who support trump and any of the women who voted for our abortion laws to be banished. No just being a women isnt enough for me anymore in government. make sure she is pro womens choice and pro womens rights plz!and actually works tirelessly at improving all of womens lives no matter color or how they identify. But this is America. The only ppl that have rights forever or matter above all other ppl is white cis men. Lets be really real.

[@chezmoi42]

@@blackeyedsusan727 Really? Where are you? I went on the pill in, let's see, 1964. Stayed on until I could get my tubes tied at 30, 1972. But yes, more women in charge of things, progressive women.

[@blackeyedsusan727]

@@chezmoi42 Ummm . . .the subject here is insurance coverage without having to pay through the nose, NOT the availability of the pill. Please read carefully. It doesn't matter if a medication is available on the market if it is prohibitively expensive for too many women of reproductive age! In 1999 when I started the pill, my monthly cost was $30. Under the ACA, there is no copay. That is a huge deal!

[@ivybee347]

It took 8 years for the VA to diagnose me with narcolepsy and fibromyalgia. Before that I was told everything was in my head. 😒 for 7 years they refused to let me do a daytime sleep study which would have shown the narcolepsy.

[@kathryngeeslin9509]

And doctors don't "understand" why so many women don't trust them and turn instead to quack medicine.

[@sandrahedlund4214]

I get mild symptoms but I have openly claimed my whole life that when I was a kid I couldn't wait until I started cycling. I would be a 'woman'. Two or three months after I started and every time after I couldn't wait for menopause to start. About five years post and still very happy I finally got here.

[@DK-zu6tt]

Thank you for your understanding and "seeing" us.

[@gracieofgod8899]

Same. My hot flashes are mild and make me feel warm and cozy in the winter (though, they’re less fun in the summer)

[@jazzanarchy1342]

Wait, 2005? Menopause was defined as a disease until 2005?

[@mwater_moon2865]

Oh. Yes. Did you know that Jackie Kennedy lost a baby who was 3-4 weeks premie just months before JFK was shot? Despite the BEST medical care in the US, they couldn't save him, there was nothing they could do to help his breathing. Several years ago a good friend had twins at 24 weeks, 4 MONTHS EARLY and they were able to save one. As I recently heard one nurse comment, "All through history every one in the medical profession thinks that what doctors did 100 years ago was HORRIBLE, AWFUL, and BARBARIC. But they never see a problem with what they're doing." She was trying to make a point that while medicine is always progressing and improving!, they still make horrible f*ups.

[@Darbysmommy]

Menopause has been exceptionally cruel to me. My own mother used to say to me, “what is wrong with you, and all that sweating?! “ “ I went through menopause at 49 and had no problems!”. Granted my 89 year old mother is the kind of woman that you no longer see (could slice an artery and refuse treatment because she has Sunday dinner to prepare). I am ten years post menopausal, still sweat like a freak, have zero libido, and have put on 50 pounds. Even my mom has some sympathy for me now. My GYN finally put me on a hormone patch , because I promised not to sue her, to ease some symptoms. It has helped some, but I am still constantly moist and miserable. You never feel good, or that you look nice when you always feel like you stepped out of a swamp

[@kq7913]

I don’t know about your diet, but I stopped eating red meat most of the time-still have it once a month ish. Hot flashes have stopped now. Maybe try that for a week or two and see if it helps

[@Darbysmommy]

@@kq7913 I did start dieting in January after getting on the scale at Dr office. Essentially just eat salad, vegetables, fish now. I have lost a little over 25 lbs, and do feel a bit better. I think you’re right, diet, in combination with the hormones has eased the symptoms some, probably 50%, but I’m still soggier than most.

[@Primalxbeast]

I actually live in a swamp without AC. If I end up getting bad hot flashes along with mood swings, people better leave me the f alone.

[@deirdremorris9234]

@@Darbysmommy Can you try Bio Identical HRT? The Europeans have used it for over 20 years.

[@olga138]

I love it when doctors say the symptoms are over in a year or so. NEWS FLASH---I've had hot flashes for over 20 years. This s*it never STOPS.

[@mariag.8242]

O gods - just appalling! Have you had HRT to reduce the symptoms?

[@olga138]

@@mariag.8242 No, because when it first started, they were all worried about heart issues. Now I'm in my 70s and don't want to take hormones. Aren't we just supposed to grin and bear it? 😄

[@karenacton3854]

Doctors don’t really know about womens issues…..I’ve given up on male doctors.

[@olga138]

@@karenacton3854 I do have a great male ophthalmologist, but he's the exception. He really does listen to me.

[@Sasascarlet]

Thank you so much for helping spread this information! I went through menopause early, and it has been one of the toughest things I’ve had to navigate. I’m in my early 40’s, trying to figure out my new reality, and how it has created further work for me to overcome my past traumas and c-ptsd symptoms. Dr. Jen Gunter’s The Menopause Manifesto has been a great resource for me. ❤️

[@bethany2820]

My mother has been talking about menopause for decades! 😂 haha love you mom!

[@rainydaylady6596]

After my mom had a hysterectomy she started acting a bit weird. Angry over little things, etc. One day my aunt was telling her about hormones and she had no idea what she was talking about. We both told her to talk to a doctor. Once she started taking premarin (sp) things went back to normal. Well, as normal as my mom could get. 🙃💕. When I had mine they started me on them in the hospital almost as soon as I woke up. 🤗🖖💕

[@ttthecat]

Thanks for the info!

[@ttthecat]

I didn't know about premarin

[@Echo81Rumple83]

You can actually request a hysterectomy that's not related to fibrosis??? I'm jealous; I'm only 38 and I wanna get rid of mine NOW! But I can't because I'll either bleed to death or clot to death...

[@beverly719]

Everyone is different. I'm glad Premarin worked for you. After my hysterectomy I took it at my Dr's advice and we soon decided it wasn't for me. I still had hot flashes and night sweats, I was irritable and gained weight....as soon as I went off of it things improved. I lost the weight and wasn't irritable.....I just lived with the hot flashes for awhile. 🤷

[@hannahgendron7094]

Is there a version of that that isn't an animal cruelty issue?

[@b.steiner8495]

14 years? ...family history of 20 years of hot flashes... already 14 years into that journey.

[@chezmoi42]

Hugs to you (from a distance, so as not to trigger another flash) - mine lasted 18 years. It finished at 65, and coincided with the end of four years of grief after the loss of my husband. It was like coming into the light, my second best year ever. (40 was the best; it felt as if I'd finally mastered the gearshift on my life.)

[@pollytiks3885]

Sam, thank you, thank you for bringing up this subject and providing resource information!! My gyno-oncologist recommended against HRT, but the information you provided - along with other information from the comments - has given me supplemental resources to explore!! Glad someone is talking about it!!

[@victoriawilliams2786]

One of my favorite things about menopause? The unlimited amount of IDGAF's in my arsenal. I had a lot before hand. But now I don't have to use it as sparingly. 🤣 Ya. Even my female dr didn't discuss anything about menopause and ignored my symptoms. Along with ignoring symptoms of other health issues I have. One time she had me on a high dose of high blood pressure medication when my blood pressure runs a little on the low side. I ended up in the hospital for twelve days and I was covered in bruises from blacking out.

[@om-nj2hw]

This isn't the only area Drs are ignorent of, you MUST do your own research on any aliment you have.

[@ElsebelseElsbeth]

The time bevor menopause is called "Wechseljahre" in German = the "change-years". I think it's a good term, because many things in our body change and it's very different for every woman 🙂

[@taryndorsey5581]

Thank you so much. I talk about this all the time that we don't talk about, have never been taught anything about it. It's so effed.

[@mfrenchcazenovia]

Every time I hear “Mehmet Oz” I think I’m hearing “menopause”.

[@cindypomerleau950]

Same difference.

[@DK-zu6tt]

Me too!!! Haha ha

[@daniellamcgee4251]

I think it's well overdue that these issues are being addressed. Sam, and her team, are excellent at educating with comedy, especially these issues that more people would benefit from knowing about. It's unfortunate that Sam (and her writers) didn't mention, even in passing, that people can reach menopause young, which is medical considered to be under 45 years. Even in their 30s, or more rare, 20s. Nonetheless, it still happens. Due to people, Including doctors, being unaware of this fact, it is especially common for people with early menopause to be diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and put on medication accordingly.

[@she2.0]

I think because they tend to refer to early menopause (younger than 40) as a condition like POF (Premature ovarian failure) which puts one into menopause but is caused by something different than the natural decline of estrogen production. There are a few conditions like that which mimic early menopause. That's why it's important for both doctors and women to be educated on this topic.

[@chezmoi42]

@@she2.0 Great suggestion. Now, who are they going to learn it from?

[@kathryngeeslin9509]

I had two sudden emotional shocks, at 33 and 42, and quit suddenly for one year first time and permanently second. Endometriosis, untreated, so very disappointed at starting up again; waited a year to be checked the second time, told I'd had instant menopause, this time for keeps, rejoiced. Never any menopausal symptoms, never missed the endometriosis pain, never missed what one doctor referred to as "mini labor pains" (laughing). It did not feel "early", just welcome.

[@she2.0]

@@chezmoi42 Great question! The new Menopause Foundation of Canada has launched to advocate for more education and access to information to help guide women. What we, as the general public don't see is the work being done by the medical community to help women receive better advice, more guidance, support and education for both doctors and their patients. We have worked with a few experts on our podcast who are creating tools to connect doctors and patients over this issue.While we're not hearing about it in mainstream media, we can assure that help is definitely on the way

[@chezmoi42]

@@she2.0 Great idea, to collect testimonies from women who have experienced it, too, so they have some leads to follow. I know it's not the same, but often the stress of an athletic regime, for example, can affect an otherwise healthy young woman's cycles. I began going to the gym in my 40's, and as I dropped weight, I missed several months even though I could hardly be considered 'athletic', au contraire.

[@kittywalker2944]

No one talks about menopause bc there’s nothing nice to say about it. Fortunately, post menopause is the 💣!

[@jelatinosa]

But nobody really talks about post menopause either, so that can't be the reason.

[@DanielleGillespie]

Thank you for this! I just turned 40 and scared of menopause! I've seen too many women suffer thru it! It wasn't pretty!

[@camikidder9681]

Thanks Sam B, you always say what needs to be said! Fortunately I've got one of the good doctors, my obgyn put me on HRT about a year ago - what a difference! But even my GP, a woman, warned against HRT...there is so much more that needs to be discussed and learned!

[@KELLYLOCKHART777]

I learned about Menopause at 18 from my stripper mom, because my mother told me "we don't talk about that".

[@themoonsharksquirrel8937]

I love menopause. It takes alot of energy to create and release blood every month.

[@lauraanne5175]

Im actually enjoying hot flashes. Only had a few and mostly at night, but it warms my body and it is almost like a rush...

[@Primalxbeast]

@@lauraanne5175 Well, I know you don't live in Florida...

[@lauraanne5175]

@@Primalxbeast nope. But I use to. I live in the desert where it was triple digits today.

[@KissesFromCanada]

It’s ridiculous that periods are still shamed and kept secret, instead of celebrated and honoured. Now, as I sweat my way into my mid 40s, I’m realizing yet another hugely important part of life that NOBODY TALKS ABOUT. My body grew two healthy humans, and yet discussing the mechanisms of that miracle is apparently “gross”?

[@DK-zu6tt]

Patriarchy fears the power of a woman's reproductive system and all the potential, burdens and fluctuations. Unfortunately, women have been conditioned for hundreds if not thousands of years to accept that it's US who are flawed, not the fragility of patriarchy.

[@benniboop752]

I’d love to know if there’s countries that are actually a bit more advanced in approaches to health care that do treat & proactively care about women’s health, including menopause. Maybe NZ or Denmark? Would be great to see what strategies exist!

[@annaeliasson952]

Swedish woman here. I guess you are in the US? Short version: our doctors are as hit-or-miss as yours, but more affordable (and the medications won't ruin us either.) I have ADHD, and fun fact, when the estrogen starts waning, the meds stop working. Higher doses didn't help. It took me more than a year to find a doctor who would prescribe replacement hormones. It was like a tennis match: the ADHD-psychiatrist wrote a referral to a GP, the GP sent me back to the psychiatrist, who sent me back to the GP again. Neither of them knew ANYTHING about menopause, and my life was falling apart. Untreated ADHD is not pretty. Luckily I ended up consulting a gynecologist. She didn't care about the debilitating ADHD symptoms, but the minor flashes and slight itchy dryness were enough for her to do some tests. A week later, I got estrogen patches and an IUD (to stop build-up of the uterine lining). After just a few weeks, my brain started working again. People talk about menopause as something that ends, but for some of us it never will. My problems aren't caused by estrogen levels changing, they are caused by a lack of estrogen. The gynecologist told me that I would need the replacement for the rest of my life. If I stop, the problems will come back just as bad. I gladly accept a slightly elevated risk of cancer in exchange for having my life back. The other benefits, health and other, are just a bonus. (Why YES, I DO feel like 30 again in some very specific ways 😉)

[@Dutch3DMaster]

@@annaeliasson952 Can I ask what types of patches you can get in Sweden? There's Sandoz, Systen and a third brand that my healthcare insurance does not cover (I think). I personally have used Systen from the start and after a shortage had to move to Sandoz, which really needs to learn what a good glue layer is supposed to do, those things would NOT stick, some fell of 30 minutes after application....

[@GoodJuju.8D]

@@annaeliasson952 Yay to you!! I love hearing success stories in subjects like this. You give hope to others in the same boat.

[@monicafelstead3260]

@@annaeliasson952 Thank you for sharing this Anna! I've been trying to figure out why I'm low-level sick so often, and I know I've started perimenopause even though I'm only 43 and my dr disputes it. I'm now suspecting I'm ADD and have been wondering why it's getting worse now. The lower estrogen levels explain it! Thankfully a pill called Staying Cool REALLY works to keep my hormone levels stable.

[@Bonglecat]

UK here, the doctor I saw originally was great I’d also realised what was going on and just asked for HRT and he made great suggestions on what to do. I have since seen another doctor at the practice who was less well informed as that one was a woman it was surprising. But also as I’m in the UK I’m getting 6 months at a time for one prescription charge of £9.

[@blitzedbymenopause5063]

Thanks for airing our rap song!

[@elizabethschmidt4030]

Just for balance… I am loving perimenopause. I, for the most part, really like hot flashes. (My husband- not so much because we have to keep two comforters and a wool blanket on the bed year-round for him.) Going on about 6 years with this. Been doing my research and trying out advice. These are the ones that worked for me. Hint: Eat rice, beans or potatoes when you feel testy. It will totally mellow you out. Do it before the cravings for chocolate kick in. You don’t need much. You just need some. You have to get sugar and simple carbs out of your diet as best you can. Lot of side effects are just you not being able to eat junk food anymore. Most of the really bad side effects seem to be coming from the fact as we get older it is hard to get all our nutrients from food. Add a multivitamin, zinc, copper, magnesium citrate, and iodine (if not in your multivitamin. ) Stop drinking coffee, as much as you can. Coffee has something to do with absorbing, then peeing out vital minerals. I don’t know. I feel a ton better switching to green tea. Still love coffee but it doesn’t love me back. Join planet fitness for the red-light therapy. Gentle weight lifting now. Don’t stress out your body. Gently add more weight as you get stronger (I don’t work for them.) Get rid of as much stress as you can. Those stress hormones we are so used to are now causing you tons of problems. Sleep. The magnesium will help with that. (Dose in the morning and one in the evening. )You can sleep in your puddle of sweat. You’ll be fine. Don’t eat after 5pm because that makes the night sweats worse.

[@gracieofgod8899]

This makes sense. My cravings have changed and now I love a small piece of dark chocolate and some potato chips as a snack. Also been getting migraines and was told if I sleep more they’ll stop; it worked. Also had to start drinking electrolyte water to keep from getting dizzy.

[@erinthesystem9608]

My mother was having a balance problem which had me concerned for her; her age and her fitness level made the balance issue stand out, as she's only now entering her 60s and is very fit. She made an appt. with a [male] neurologist, and we both were anticipating a diagnosis related to the inner ear. His conclusion, however- on finding nothing for himself which seemed to be organically wrong with her- was to suggest that my mother was losing her balance (which hasn't resulted in any falls that I know of, but which is nevertheless alarming to witness, as she'll lift one foot and suddenly lean very far in the other direction) for the intentional PURPOSE of gaining attention. And, for these disturbing histrionics, he suggested that she visit a PSYCHIATRIST instead. I was astonished when she told me that this was the conclusion of her neurologist. Absolutely amazed, to hear such an archaic diagnosis: that this must be an attention-seeking behavior of some kind(?). To what purpose that would be, I have no idea.

[@BarbaraKluger]

Most specialists I've interacted with don't seem to realize that there are things they haven't seen and stuff they don't know.

[@BeautyisSacred]

We need to talk about peri menopause so much! Thank you. So much lack in talking about women's health...that needs to end.

[@nicolepulcino9428]

This is why I'm glad my physician is a woman that is also my age. At least there is a foundation for empathy.

[@mwater_moon2865]

I have been dismissed so many times by male doctors I refuse to see one for non emergency anything. At least most of the time a woman will LISTEN to what the issue is and not cut me off with "you're just not exercising enough" to rush to the next patient.

[@judydoyle1124]

My doctor was a woman and never even suggested or tested me for menopause. When I moved, I was told by my new male gyno who actually looked at my blood test.

[@SerenityPeaceTree]

I've had hot flashes (I call heat waves) for 10 years now.... I work evenings because I can't fall asleep until 2am! I'm quite enjoying not having a period since I've had a rough time of it since I was 12. I'll take my heat waves over my period any day! I think that's why I don't want hormone therapy.... And I'm embracing this change.

[@mariag.8242]

HRT doesn’t make your period return - and I’m with you on being delighted to see the end of that!

[@lauraanne5175]

Thank you sam!!! Im 49 and it is happening 🥳

[@CatJabZ]

Thank you for focusing on this real issue! Sam Bee rules!

[@kristinarader1234]

Yep. I’m turning 50 this summer and boy am I just having the time of my life. I feel so great all the time. I feel so heard by medical professionals. I sleep great every night. My periods are soooo predictable. I never sweat profusely while sitting still in an air conditioned room. My mind is crystal clear. I never want to throttle everyone that breathes in my general vicinity. Yep. Doing just dandy thanks!

[@mariag.8242]

It can definitely be dreadful, and the lack of information and support makes it worse BUT some women have no or few symptoms and a relatively short perimenopause. Menopause itself, when my body is free of all hormonal fluctuations and messy leaks, failures to leak, pain, bloating, constipation, hot flashes, weight gain, unexpected mood swings.. I feel more me than ever before! so if your self-esteem is not totally dependent on being able to have a baby, you have a great time ahead 🥰

[@suzannepharr7869]

Never had or wanted kids, so no self esteem issues. But menopause is not a great time for everyone. 61 and still miserable from hot flashes. 🥵

[@davidmcdonald1898]

Way past time for this timely topic! Rock on, Sam!!

[@jenitoten2212]

It's the random turning into the Flaming Torch and feeling like I'm going through puberty again: that's the worst part.

[@DK-zu6tt]

I have described perimenopause as: Adolescence in reverse.

[@julesnz37]

This makes me feel grateful for my doctor. I thought I was getting worse depression symptoms but my Doctor thought we should consider Menopause. I agreed to give hormone treatment a try and it has made a huge difference for me. I'm in New Zealand and we only pay $5 for a 3 month supply of each medication, how much does the treatment cost in America? I'm on Estradot patches and Norethisterone pills.

[@persnickety369]

$217 for a 28 day supply. It’s even significantly more expensive if you don’t have insurance.

[@julesnz37]

@@persnickety369 Wow. Thanks for the reply.

[@JuniperJupiter23]

@@persnickety369 Yeah but we have freedom! Oh wait...nope they're taking that back now too

[@jenniferpatterson4964]

When my doctor wanted me to get on Premarin, my one month supply was well over $800 USD, and I have insurance. Depends on your insurance and the market you live in, I guess. Ain’t America great? 🙄

[@michellestorms-vanhowe8391]

@@jenniferpatterson4964 Try Bio-identical hormones: Bi-est cream and progesterone cream. I am a physician and these helped me at very low doses. Premarin is horse estrogens, not suitable for humans.

[@Sa.Smi.92]

I’m in year 17. Symptoms still going strong but I use herbs, wild yam and vitex, it makes a huge difference. It’s basically herbal HRT. But I had no idea I’ve been taking them this long.

[@Primalxbeast]

Dang, did you do something horrible to someone in a previous life?

[@DK-zu6tt]

@@Primalxbeast You just did something horrible. Don't judge women.

[@Primalxbeast]

@@DK-zu6tt You didn't understand my comment. "Must have done something horrible in a previous life", is a way of saying that someone is having bad luck, specifically bad luck that they themselves don't deserve. Do you honestly think I believe she was a bad person in a different life?

[@Primalxbeast]

@@DK-zu6tt And I'm a woman myself by the way, and that comment was meant to show sympathy for what she's going through.

[@MR-su7de]

I said the same thing to the NP: If menopause or uterine prolapse occurred in men, more viable treatments would be available.

[@GrandmaBev64]

I loved menopause! No more Periods! Yay! I was lucky to not have any bad symptoms or irrational emotions. I know plenty of Women who experience horrible things. I feel for them. Just because I didn't get side effects, doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

[@dancingdownstream]

Same for me… just some hot flashes and when they occurred, I’d smile because I knew what they meant - DONE! Being educated on menopause is important but I want women to also know symptoms may be mild and it is not something to fear - especially with the advances in therapies now happening for those who do have a more extreme experience.

[@RoninRen]

gotta say even if I am "hormonally" unbalanced (because I'm overweight) I doubt that has anything to do with that, I know that I'm asexual (I love my asexuality)

[@runawaylady1833]

Thank you. I really needed to see this.

[@bluegreenglue6565]

I'm sorry my late husband missed out on this phase of my life -- he would have been amused that I am now the "warm one" who throws off the blankets at night.

[@nicoledeburton5169]

Thanks for this, Sam Bee! I'm on the cusp myself and have already check out the menopause practitioner website you mentioned!

[@josephwheeler6674]

Very informative. And I just love your brand of humor.

[@LillianHenegar]

Thanks for doing this bit, Samantha! Truth!

[@sandyt8981]

I’m 58 now, but when menopause began when I was 49 (I was 50 when I had my last period) my female OB/GYN sat down with me and explained the benefits and risks of HRT. It saved me, because I was getting hot flashes every hour! It was like having a newborn, only worse! It’s concerning that not all women have access to knowledgeable, sympathetic doctors who know what they’re doing and what will really help.

[@Allison-jj1vq]

I’ve never heard one health care professional utter the word menopause to me. I guess I made it through.

[@j4513]

6:05 “Doctors misdiagnosing, dismissing and gaslighting their female patients.” You just summed up my entire medical journey.

[@l.a.gothro3999]

During perimenopause, after I'd started bleeding heavily, I was put on birth control for hormonal therapy. The ring worked best for me; I'd been on the Pill on and off since I'd been 17. I started HRT near the end of my p.m.

[@BarbaraKluger]

I've been using Estring for years and years. So easy.

[@l.a.gothro3999]

@@BarbaraKluger when did that come out?

[@margaritaalvarez3766]

Great job,🐝!

[@angelaromero2518]

Thank you for this, Sam! I'm 45, not experiencing menopause yet, but I know nothing about it!

[@DK-zu6tt]

When you do need care for it, do your own research, read scientific papers. Most doctors, even as we speak are not trained in this or are trained using bad science. Good luck. There are ways to help symptoms, look to old cultures (Native Americans, African women, Andean women and so on). There is a lot of wisdom out there, and lots of supplements that can help. Royal MACA with DIM (Diindolylmethane) helped me. The difference was day and night.

[@redgoddess]

Love this! Thanks for talking about menopause, its not nearly discussed enough.

[@Catscrazycrafts27]

Truth. Thank you for talking about it!💜💜💜👏👏👏✌✌✌

[@MRICCI8]

Sam, THANK YOU very much for talking about this! I think it would be good to also cover the joy of life AFTER menopause, though. When your hormones no longer run your life, it's a whole new ballgame. I've never been happier or felt better. I only wish I had known when I was in my 20s, 30s, 40s, and early 50s just how sweet it would be.

[@Filmation77]

I'm a 49 year old male and I wanna say thank you for enlightening me on this thing I've only heard whispered about and seen on the cover of Women's magazines and I just knew it as an 80's Funk song by the band KLYMAXX....The More i Definitely Know

[@Minihopa]

The beginning of hormonal-pause was really tough for me, I somehow contracted mono at age 52. Instead of doing tests my male doctor told me I needed psychological care because I wasn't physically ill... my obgyn discovered the virus through actual testing and began hormone therapy for my secondary issue. We need to change the name of this period in women's lives... stop including men in all aspects of our being and get young ladies prepared just incase they have a harder time with 'hormonal-pause'.

[@birdgirl2289]

But with our luck they would shorten it and call it whorepause (horpause) tee hee.

[@geetikaa2874]

Same goes for period pain . People still think it's normal to have it and if women can't tolerate she is throwing tantrums

[@BookNerd4Music]

The reference to Death to Smoochy... impressive, Mz Bee... Impressive.

[@nicoleono3981]

That was very informative!! Thank you!!

[@openyourmind3763]

49 and soooo happy to be approaching my one year anniversary. The freedom to be free of dealing with a period is worth the arthritis, hot flahses and brain fog I have had for years anyway. Working out and being nicer to myself, eating better, saying no and doing more things to simplify life and that make me happy all help my physical and mental health. Agree there is no information or feedback from family or doctors but I have learned we are our own best experts anyway.

[@kimmielew8301]

Thank you Samantha Bee!!

[@lifewuzonceezr]

So happy you are reminding my body

[@mikeharrison1868]

One of my friends had early onset menopause overnight - early thirties I believe. She was also my then partner's boss, and told her to go for it, when we were thinking about child two.

[@ChubbyUnicorn]

I appreciate you Sam! ❤

[@tigq1430]

Read the headline and said, YES! YES! & YES! Thank you!

[@crankypantsmcduff]

I recently had an ablation, im 42 and its the best thing I did. I'm going to hit menopause as my daughter hits puberty so my partners gona get it bad pmsl. Can't wait.

[@anahata2009]

Why would you embrace such a negative narrative about how awful it has to be, before it even happens? Self-fulfilling prophecies are a thing. Your body is your friend- don't trash-talk your friends. I hope that time of life will be smooth like butter for you and your daughter, and your partner.

[@annnemesh]

Amen and thank you.

[@tjdomerny4847]

The show that showed it was ALL IN THE FAMILY. Funny and real.

[@suzannepharr7869]

YES!!! I’ll never forget Edith finally telling Archie “Stifle yourself, Archie!” And Archie was struck dumb. A great moment in TV history that does not get recognized enough!

[@nenah-startingfromscratch]

Thank you!!!! I was pushed into medical induced menopause so it hits all the time!!!

[@margaretsmith9637]

Before menopause I felt like my hormones drugged me to be compliant. I feel more me now.

[@exercisefornormalpeople6731]

Great video!!

[@bovinityleak2066]

Thank you sam!