Why Boys Are NOT Becoming Men | The Catholic Gentleman

Today John and Sam are joined by Jason Craig. Jason has spent years studying and defining the rites of passage boys must take to become men. He has applied this anthropological research to the teachings and lived reality of Christ and His Church, and he shares his discovery with us. The author of “Leaving Boyhood Behind”, he explains to us how societies have been built around raising boys to adult maturity through recognizable passages and more importantly how our society is lacking in providing these necessary stages of initiation.
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[@mikerichter1694]

This show brings up memories of my Grandfather helping a neighbor build an addition to their home free of charge, my uncle teaching me to drive a tractor, my Dad wanting to teach me mechanics, and the neighbor telling me stories about his life... so important the fraternal relationships.

[@LB-gu3wq]

Wonderful. I feel open to the priesthood and I am discerning to join the FSSP. I was there the last 5 days. But being a father, husband and a man is a really special and important vocation, especially in these harsh times. We don't need to get rid of masculinity. We need more of it

[@Ps.tokoni]

Is it weird that I enjoy men spaces like these? Even if I don't contribute or can't relate, I just enjoy seeing the healthy bond between you men and hearing you talk about manhood.

[@breatheeasily4013]

Get out of here, WO man

[@colinpowell6221]

Very knowledgeable podcast. Especially about initiation practices in cultures and how without fraternity there can be no passage from boyhood to manhood.

[@TS-ex4ql]

1.Parents must get rid of any/all video games and cable TV in the house. The Parents must not set a bad example of letting their children see them wasting time playing video games or watching TV / sport programs. 2. Parents must instill the willingness in young boys to delay gratification. 3. Parents must instill the willingness in young boys to suffer willingly for a greater good. 4. Parents must be able to tell young boys, "No!" when required and not feel bad about it. 5. Parents need to be Parents to young boys, and not friends to them. 6. There must be a healthy hierarchy in the home, where the father is visibly the authoritative head of the household, and the father must live up to and earn this place. Wives hold authority over their sons, but it must be obvious that they are submissive to their husband. 6. There must be chastity in the home, starting from the Father and Mother, right down to all who live in the house. Any stumbling block to chastity must be removed. 7. Hard work must be a regular occurrence. Parents must let it be known that they depend on and need the help of their boys to run the household chores. 8. Don't forget to praise hard work, but only when it is warranted. False praise when not deserved is detrimental.

[@robp1000]

excellent episode!

[@davidcaldarola5188]

It depends on how one defines manhood. Most people would suggest someone like James Bond; tall, dark, handsome, who beats up on guys and has sex with women. He also has all of those manly traits; smoker, drinker, gambler, womanizer. But what if the definitive man was Jesus - long hair, does not drink to excess, is not violent. He doesn't injure people, He heals them, He does not kill people, He raises them from the dead. He does not womanize; He calls them to repent. The traits we attribute to men and women were necessary hundreds, if not thousands, of years ago when survival depended on the man being a beast of burden and women being mothers and housewives. But in modern civilization, people can survive without adhering to those ancient roles. The "whimp" the man suggested, is that person a coward, or merely not as aggressive as the alpha male? Is the alpha male a man merely because he is violent and adept at addictions? The problem seems to me to be that in order for boys to become men and girls to become women, they must first lose their youth, beauty and innocence. Is adulthood worth that? Or are we merely accommodating adulthood out of necessity? I'll let someone else take it from here.

[@katpellot7646]

This was an awesome discussion to listen to. The first time I had a concept of “brotherhood” was through the book Blackhawk Down. It helped me cultivate an appreciation and respect for the space men hold in my community and family. Thank you for having this discussion 🙏🏽

[@rubenmartinez4346]

So true! Now that I have embraced my faith I need other men that share the one true faith. So very true! I pray that I find those men at my church! Viva Cristo Rey!

[@popetate8998]

I must say that this has to one of the best podcasts I have heard on your channel.

[@user-ji2on8eg3l]

Saint James 2:14-17 What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister has nothing to wear and has no food for the day, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, keep warm, and eat well,” but you do not give them the necessities of the body, what good is it? So also faith of itself, if it does not have works, is dead.

[@carmenburgos1616]

Hi to everyone , I’m a Hispanic male of 50 and little by little I’ve taken time to hear more about the Catholic faith .. But sadly ,I’ve also noticed the lack of Masculine Man in these Churches aswell as how to pull men out of the pits of Fear … Where I’m currently residing in the Carribean , wow ,, Not much Can be seen of Active educated Men in the Catholic faith being active in communities … Especially in the use the Power of Testimony’s of Change and the use of The Rosary … Please any help for me and prayers ?!!

[@LynnMargaret-np1um]

Hi Carmen yes . Try looking for a traditional mass in Latin. They tend to be more masculine. Also look up catholic land movement.

[@johnstewart7025]

I agree with what he said about how when people go through hard times together, they become "brothers." But, if some of those people are women, that doesn't mean that they are not spiritual siblings, too. When it comes to being a father, that means raising boys AND girls.

[@ellied.3473]

How can women help with this process? As a young woman, I become frustrated with the young men around me when they don't seem confident in their actions or words. Anyways, what can we do to help? Or can we help?

[@thedifferenttraveller5684]

Personally I am a devout Catholic and with my son and other male friends I put them in front of their own infantilism helping them to reflect on steps that could help them including the implementation of a healthy food education. In order to have a minimum of maturity, it is necessary to correct one's posture, to overcome one's laziness: to prepare a good meal, to peel one's vegetables, to make one's bed, to iron one's clothes, etc. This will help them to organise their daily life and to have an intellectual hygiene too. Everything is important: the organisation of a house, food education, the practice of a combative sport (it helps to understand certain values), a spiritual life (the saints are an example of virility and courage), an intellectual life, eliminating everything that can make the individual lazy. And if you observe around you how many people have a correct posture : head up and shoulders back ?? Jordan Peterson talked a lot about this.

[@chezjowy8596]

Expect more of them. Encourage them to live up to a manly standard. Having someone especially a women nudging them to be man against the current culture removes the conflict and will allow them to actually be a man.

[@GOD-OF-MGTOW]

You "women" can start by calling out the women among you who use parental alienation to stop children from seeing their fathers. What is it with women always blaming men? My friend hung himself because all he wanted was to be able to raise his own daughter but the mother wouldn't let him see her. I had to fight for 3 years in the family courts just to be in my daughter's life because her mother was so obstructive and controlling. So ask yourselves, what can women do to help more children see their dads? You have male family members don't you? Would you want to see them suffer the living bereavement of being separated from their babies? Take a good long, hard look at yourselves 'ladies' because your solipsistic attitudes stink. Start looking after your men and your children. Modern women have destroyed their own families and the fabric of society. SHAME ON YOU ALL.

[@Elenagilmore07]

@@GOD-OF-MGTOW Misogyny at its peak

[@Astralegend22]

Excellent podcast. I for one am really hurting for this kind of fraternity. The fact that my default youtube account is my gaming one should speak volumes. I'm just not sure how to find what I need. I'm 28, a Catholic Convert, have a young son, a daughter in heaven, and another on the way, and even my Latin Mass here just outside Washington DC doesn't appear (on the surface) to have the fraternity available that you guys talk about and that I need. Do you gentlemen have any suggestions?

[@gloriousraven9396]

Many men are in this same exact position. They are desperate for brotherhood and leadership. The best thing that you can do is to BECOME THE MAN that other men desperately need and want to look up to. If not one already, become an avid reader and habituate yourself to BECOME THAT MAN. Leaders are molded and shaped by their burning desire for something that does not currently exist. This will be a long and lonely process, but you will come out as refined as gold. When you are ready, go to your priest and discuss with him the need for a men's ministry and become the facilitator. The solution to all of your problems is looking back at you in the mirror every day. Ignatius Loyola had this same existential problem and he studied for 15 years and started the Jesuit brotherhood. Stay patient and be committed to the process!

[@Astralegend22]

@@gloriousraven9396 Thank you for the reply. No better time to start than today, right?

[@gloriousraven9396]

@@Astralegend22 That's right. Learn everything you can about the Church and the challenges that face men. You are much younger than Ignatius Loyola was when he started. So there is no excuses. BE THE MAN! Your nation and the Church need men that will rise up!

[@themysteriousdomainmoviepalace]

In England one rite of passage was going ftom wearong shott pants to long pants. I think we should all have that. And fon't cry around that its hot. It was also hot 2 generations ago and grown men wore long pants. This may seem trivial, but I don't think so.

[@johnstewart7025]

In Australia, men wore shorts and longs socks. Of course, Australian men compensated for loking childish by being less civilized.

[@kevinbaumann9331]

I’m a 3rd year student living at home, 22 years old. Would it be the manly thing to do to stay at home and obey my parents’ command? Or should I be thrust into the world and live out by myself?

[@TheCatholicGentleman]

Hi Kevin, Thanks for the question. There are too many nuances and points on your personal situation that cannot be fully understood and accounted for in a comment section. So what I would suggest is following an Ignatian Discernment to make a good decision. Here is one to give you a place start www.ignatianspirituality.com/making-good-decisions/an-approach-to-good-choices/an-ignatian-framework-for-making-a-decision/ Congrats on discerning this, and you have our prayers.

[@carolingi1741]

Excellent video. But I was hoping it would explore hierarchic fatherhood more and egalitarian brotherhood less. There are big dangers with brotherhoods: think of criminal gangs, communists, the nazis. The french revolutionaries had ’Fraternity’ as their motto. Etc.

[@jasoncraig3563]

Those are distortions of brotherhood. Evil must distort good to exist. As fatherhood is essential to understanding Christianity, so too is brotherhood. Both are redeemed in Christ and the Church. Do a concordance check in your bible for brotherhood to gain a better grasp than offered by Marxism et al. And, of course, there's the reality that almost every renewal in the church comes by way of fraternities (Benedictines, Franciscans, Dominicans, for example).

[@johnstewart7025]

@@jasoncraig3563 fatherhood is based on brotherhood, both require sacrifice. So, brotherhood is good preparation for the sacrifice of fatherhood. Likewise, the sacrifice of mothers is also a model of sacrifice for fathers.

[@Ps.tokoni]

Getting to the part about kicking the girls out and I'm here enjoying this discussion as a girl😂. Sorry for intruding guys 🤗. I'll see myself out 😁✌🏽️

[@icu1777]

Being raised a Church goer without deepening in the heart , soul and mind the love for God and neighbor, becomes a problem in manhood, which is the lack of spiritual depth/maturity/growth. Childish faith = Childish man.

[@javaman8895]

Do all Catholic millennials need to wear beards?

[@rubenmartinez4346]

I wear a mustache.

[@Astralegend22]

I for one prefer to be clean shaven.

[@rayfranklin5783]

The Freemasons still have meaningful initiations. The Knights of Columbus USED to have meaningful initiations.

[@Magnificat42]

I blame the beards.

[@Ggdivhjkjl]

My cousin's daughter plays football.