Why Broken Hearts Hurt - and What Heals Them | Yoram Yovell | TED

[@BenjaminJones-re8re]

I recently went through a difficult breakup. My five year relationship ended a month ago, and it's been incredibly hard. I still have so much love for my ex girlfriend, and I can't seem to get her out of my mind. Despite my best efforts to win her back, nothing has worked, and the thought of being with anyone else feels impossible right now. I know it might sound odd to share this here, but I miss her deeply and can't stop thinking about her.

[@Donaldhelmick]

I completely understand the pain of letting go of someone you love. I went through a similar experience when my 10 year relationship ended. I couldn't imagine my life without her, so I tried everything to rekindle our love. I eventually found guidance from a spiritual counselor, and their support helped me bring her back into my life.

[@BenjaminJones-re8re]

If you're open to it, seeking help from a spiritual counselor might make a difference. How did you find your spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with them?

[@Donaldhelmick]

His name is Fatherabulu, and he's an incredible spiritual counselor known for helping restore relationships.

[@BenjaminJones-re8re]

Thank you for sharing this valuable insight. I just looked him up, and I'm genuinely impressed.

[@tonyhill2318]

Same here brother.

[@Marce-w1c]

After my 25 year marriage ended I thought I would die from a broken heart . My family was no longer together. Thankfully over time and with faith in God and counseling I survived and now thrive !

[@rokasjanauskas7311]

🎉🎉🎉

[@gadija806]

I think pain can draw us apart too. Lost my grandfather and remember what they say "old people keep the family together" so once they no longer around everything falls apart. That's what happened to my family. Pain made us grew apart.

[@wfrdewr121212]

Q❤❤❤❤❤q

[@jontims5934]

It was my grandmother for my family & I at 16. Nothing was ever the same, and everyone was hurt, and we didn't recover! 17 years on and only growing further apart.. our hurt is stronger than our love!

[@GenZ_Zillenial]

Watching this as I cried about a recent breakup. He doesn’t want me anymore. Everyday we will get a little bit better guys ❤

[@Test7017]

It happens ❤❤

[@oxsparklesxo]

Then he's not worth your tears my lady! Keep your chin up you will get through this ❤

[@Delbays1]

💙

[@qpSubZeroqp]

Time does help alongside getting busy with things that keep your mind busy from my experience

[@adelelim3043]

This happened to me 2 days ago… he straight up told me he doesn’t love me anymore and that we are incompatible. The first night i was inconsolable, 2nd night a bit better, now im already so much better. Write down in a journal or piece of paper and reflect on 1) why the breakup was a blessing and his shortcomings 2) what you could do better next time - be honest with yourself everyone has room to grow. It helped tremendously! Not sure if i may fall back, but at the moment i feel so much better. Praying for you!

[@TheWriterNW]

I lost my wife in 2012. My broken heart hasn't healed at all. It hurts so much still.

[@ilianawestley3191]

I’m so sorry for your loss, she must have been a wonderful woman. I hope you find peace

[@KingKikikoi]

I can’t imagine the pain but I know she would have loved to see you live long and happily as you can even after her passing.

[@six1free]

that type of pain can only be healed by the understanding that nothing cannot exist - we never become it.

[@Dyejob01]

I lost my twin in 2012, and I feel the same way. It feels like I will NEVER recover my this pain. It's just as crushing today as it was in 2012.❤❤❤❤

[@farah_di_ipoh1968]

I lost my husband last May of 2023. If I don't talk about him, I'm ok, but once I remember, my eyes start running with tears. I must accept that every living thing must die, including myself.

[@thechakrallama9659]

For breakups and death, time does indeed heal a broken heart and I think that we need the right amount of processing feelings and thoughts, along with learning to accept and let it go at some point. Good video! I think this is good for people to know so they can get up and get moving when depressed, to activate endorphins. I did that with boxing after a bad breakup where I did feel suicidal.

[@macdisciple]

For 10 years I was prescribed antidepressants. None were ever remotely effective. I considered ECT but maybe I was not depressed so much as I was very lonely, sad, and my heart hurt - literally. I could feel the weight of pain on my heart and was worried I would die from a heart attack. I was prescribed Tramadol for chronic knee pain - but my depression also lifted. The literal pain in my heart was gone. I get it is a narcotic but OMG for the 1st time I had relief from a lonely heart. I kept taking the Tram, my disposition shifted, and within a year I met my wife. I have not been depressed since.

[@oguzhansunger4386]

To be fair, it was a good speech. If anyone wants to do further reading on the relationship between mental and physical pain, I highly recommend this article: "Broken Hearts and Broken Bones" written by Naomi I. Eisenberger.

[@destifitria1519]

Can u share the link?

[@andyouknowit0815]

I went through a devastating experience when my wife left me after 20 years of marriage, taking one of our sons with her under very humiliating circumstances. I was left standing there, feeling unimaginable pain, with my 18-year-old son staying with me just before his final exams. Friends helped me during this time, and I followed a piece of advice: I started going to salsa dancing classes. Every time I danced, I felt a little better. I kept moving forward, and my son successfully completed his exams. I wept with pride and relief. The separation was brutal, but the way I managed to come back and be there for my sons is hard to put into words. Later, I met an incredible woman through dancing, and I love her dearly. Thank you to everyone who supported me through this journey. Go out and dance!!!!!

[@j333z]

I wish they'd find out faster and approve the treatment. Thank you for doing this research.

[@jontims5934]

YOU AND ME BOTH! 😘

[@kristen.t]

Sharing from the standpoint of a scientist -- I'm like you!! But SO much easier said than done. There are several factors for why research takes so long and one of the biggest is lack of funding, as studies like these (especially longer-term ones) are really expensive. A prime example of "things happening quickly" would be COVID-19 vaccine development, but even that -- an expansive, worldwide effort with millions of dollars and thousands of volunteers -- took ~2 years.

[@mugheeramehmood6650]

I recall a moment that often overwhelms me when I flashback to those kinds of thoughts. While drugs may provide temporary relief, they are not permanent cures. These mental pains have flashbacks that keep the pain alive, and there's a catch - if one perceives this pain as a reminder of a moment, person, or thought, it can become a self-perpetuating cycle.

[@shrimpdance4761]

Don't hide your mental pain from your loved ones. They really can help.

[@priscillaharnage5711]

No one can

[@ThursdayASMR]

My mom died when I was thirteen. Then in 2017 my dog got killed by a speeding car right infront of me. These moments broke my heart. And I'm still not healed.

[@beautifultrauma]

I am so sorry for your losses. Big hugs 🫂 ❤

[@bellakim9404]

They are with you in spirit. & Your mom is with your dog are together in Heaven. They are both healthy and happy. ❤

[@IvonaFlakus]

Sending hugs 🫂🥺❤️‍🩹

[@Huyape7]

thank you for your presentation, i suffered from a severe mental pain that i created on my own for myself. that was a tough time however i become normal now. at this time i indeed want to enhance my knowledge about these conditions.

[@Slyma]

Waw that cry... It gave me flashbacks I still can hear it

[@rw6836]

Stuffed animals as hug buddies provide some comfort and relief during times of loneliness.

[@hind_chaoukichaouki7977]

Yessss❤

[@RavenStealstheNight]

Too many times people, even professionals underestimate how pain and mental pain are connected. One possible explanation is the fact that the very cells and cell types within specific parts of the body are found in places that are present elsewhere. The programming hardwired into these cells are very real. It's unbelievable that some people don't see this connection. 😮

[@radiantmarshmallow2527]

Yes! So many of us don't realize that we are a whole package deal! Everything affects everything else. It sucks sometimes lol but that's what it is.

[@electrotype_]

The two magical drugs are obviously chocolate and ice cream.

[@PierreChen91]

😄 Jea that's the combination i'm going for.

[@Fenyxclips]

Chocolate and ice cream forever are the best drugs to have. Now I want ice cream...

[@sujoyishuman]

Hahaha

[@sujoyishuman]

But they're still testing it before they use chocolate and ice cream as a treatment for releasing endorphins

[@hind_chaoukichaouki7977]

😂😂👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼

[@lulipsia2360]

That's a really interesting topic, but I'm not sure if a medical treatment approach is the answer. Shouldn't things like this be actually felt and worked through, even though uncomfortable? why should we numb somebody, who feels grief for a good reason?

[@rafael.afonso]

It's not that simple. One can't work through something over time if they suffer from severe illness and take their own life. The drugs can be used exactly to make non-medical treatment possible, so that one day, they no longer need them. (I'm not a professional, though, just some random internet person)

[@lulipsia2360]

@@rafael.afonso that sounds reasonable, yes. I guess I miss exactly such a conclusion in the video, as it is titled "how to heal ...", not "how to treat" or "help treat", which would be more fitting I guess. He put the emphasis very much on the medication

[@WouterSimonsPlus]

He showed where exactly the pain is in the system and concludes with a picture of a hug. I’m sure he’s also highlighting depression and suïcide for a reason, because medication for mental pain in these extreme cases can save lives. For people in these situations the “you have to work through it” pattern is so bleak and painful of an outlook that they just stop and do not want to continue life anymore. This is hard to imagine for people that are not in it, but he is explaining it’s scientifically provable. Just look at the validation that gives people in the comments and I’m sure it’s clear that matters.

[@rodolfoalas3663]

My wife abandoned me a few days ago when I was at work… it feels like the end of the world… please someone help me find courage again. Haven’t heard from her since

[@S.ash.]

I hope you heal from this in time

[@alexgoslar4057]

I love this.

[@BrunoVentura22]

I was watching this video and when he said that he studied under kandel's guidance, my jaw just dropped. For who is into neuroscience, kandel's name is just absurd.

[@katherinemoore52]

Could you explain why you feel that way?

[@BrunoVentura22]

@@katherinemoore52 because kandel's principles of neuroscience, for me, is the base for any neuroscience student, and he is the first author.

[@faisalabbas9803]

Yes anyone can feel when someone ask ones father when his father is died because if your father loves you More when they were alive you find him More close to you than anyone because he support you at any stage of life give you More And More enjoyment And when he delay his office time in order to get you what you want thats matter how they Love you .

[@00MrPanda00]

Great presentation!

[@priscillaharnage5711]

😢heart breaks no one can heal.

[@sarnan10]

Excellent one!!! 😊

[@王飞燕-z6j]

Very good, thank you very much professor. Before we only know to eat medicine because we feel physical pain, actually we can also eat medicine when we feel mental pain. So impressive research, well done 💯👍

[@karmashah2060]

When love One died My mom and dad heartbroken be kind to each other peace 💖 peace 💖

[@marycaroline7357]

Thanku for the powerful messege 🙏🏻

[@suongthai7444]

❤❤❤🎉 Thank you so much! Hello from Việt Nam!

[@pinealgasm]

wish these people could help me.

[@khaledawad9741]

My heart breaks for Palestine

[@kurtphillips7038]

Why? They started it. Do you feel the same pain for the innocent Isrealis murdered in October?

[@sachamm]

@@kurtphillips7038 You heard it here folks, Palestinian children in 2023 started the Israeli/Palestinian conflict that's been going on for 75 years.

[@sparklymoona5437]

Ur a good person don’t listen to those who don’t care about others 🤍 they are not as in tune with the pain and worry around the world. They don’t look at the world as a whole it’s truly sad. But people like you are needed. Don’t ever change. 🤍🤍

[@李白-x8j]

记录一下

[@tonym6566]

Clickbait title af, bottom line he won’t tell us what heals it

[@C8zzzD]

Quick Google search reveals that one is called tianeptine... the other is called acetaminophen (Tylenol)

[@tonym6566]

@@C8zzzD lol wtf Tylenol?! 😅

[@TheNPCHub]

​@@tonym6566 Actually, yes. There's a scientific research that Acetaminophen (also called Tylenol) can also blocks receptor that produce emotional pain, which can make us emotionally numb.

[@delavidaebella]

@C8zzzD can you provide the source link?

[@mellowedxdd]

Endorphins do, therefore social connection and exercise help :)

[@fauxvier8519]

I hope we dont end up being dependant on such a miracle drug that we entirely forget out humanity as a price

[@ytrlwin9390]

You lose what you cling to.

[@Topno4605]

❤

[@anamfarooqy3756]

I think people don't want to heal when they're hurt

[@priscillaharnage5711]

That's right.

[@卵卵-x6l]

2:30

[@fireflymary9269]

Pain can be mitigated without drugs. Lots of science on pain that humans can self manage without pharmaceuticals.

[@ThangPVan_]

In many years following TED, I still can't stand with the intro sound, it hurts my head

[@ptcosmos]

8:00 I love your channel and your audience, I'm gonna comment on ALL your videos for years until I reach your level of subscribers.

[@peterweller8583]

Learn

[@farah_di_ipoh1968]

Wow, when this drug becomes available, the people who invest in it will be super duper rich! (Tells you how many people will need it!)

[@six1free]

hint: he's talking about THC

[@Scarygothgirl]

That would explain why I feel better after using medical cannabis to kick the opiates. I've been on opiates for chronic pain since I was 13, they suck to be on long term.

[@PierreChen91]

And what's the other one? Chocolate?

[@six1free]

@@PierreChen91 not sure.. possibly DMT

[@marcvolpe8252]

MY HEART IS BROKEN BECAUSE OF WHAT YOUR COUNTRY IS DOING TO GAZA SHAME SHAME SHAME SHAME SHAME SHAME SHAME SHAME SHAME

[@aadityatokle]

Learn, stop the dreams

[@ehidnayashan]

I bet they are aspirin and paracetamol

[@hansovergaard4639]

I never felt “pain in the heart” due to sadness or loss. Where does this inept saying come from?

[@circa1890]

Just wait.. 😢

[@ging1984]

Then you're astonishingly, extremely lucky. "Inept" lololol

[@eminayiden]

Open your heart a bit more and you just might.

[@oxsparklesxo]

Well you are one lucky human!!

[@darinherrick9224]

Might want to see a psychologist.

[@mariaantoniettamontella9173]

applausi

[@elvergalarga8470]

tevuahC uaerehcsaT euqinoM ailiceC 81 months 22 days.

[@PierreChen91]

You must be one of the happy people who got the chance to be one of the first ones who get to test the two substances, am I right? 😂

[@CowboyConan]

Can confirm, treating mental pain with pharmaceuticals is a disaster. There’s a reason things hurt. It’s your soul trying to communicate with you and guide you into becoming who you were always meant to be. You can fool Mother Nature for a time, but not indefinitely.

[@akbarmahardhika2982]

Free Palestine

[@al_badia3422]

Palestinians broke my heart because of Israeli invasion sine more than 70 years. FREE Palestine.

[@LeftOfToday]

How can you talk about pain without once mentioning the emotional connection to pain? Just another psych who thinks it's all down to neurotransmitters with complete disregard for social factors, including the importance of both positive and negative emotions. Of course it comes down to drugs solving all problems for a psychiatrist. Ugh, I'll only agree to psychedelics helping safely, but then psychs want to get their grubby hands on it and overcharge for treatment when the hippies and healers knew all along about their healing power, which was always about love, not money for them. The fact that we pathologize unhappiness is probably a bigger cause of depression reaching dangerous levels, and soon we'll have the happy pill so even your infant's neurotypical and developmentally appropriate crying can be treated if you want? Lol sounds like a joke, but just wait.. The DSM will have infantile depression in it. Then we can talk about what's heartbreaking. At minimum, if you think treating natural grieving over the loss of a loved one with a happy pill is good idea, you've lost your own mind.

[@notapoliticalscientist]

Antihistamines. 💯

[@clay5912]

so i need to start taking morphine?

[@BMWSRR-yd6do]

This guy is an expect in broken hearts because he owns a mirror ... and uses it every day...

[@AlaahAkbr-q9c]

God loves you and cares for you so that this message reaches you. God is the one who created this large universe and controls it completely. The greatest loss a person loses in this life is that he lives without knowing God who created him and knowing the Messenger of Muhammad, the last of the messengers, and the Islamic religion, the last of the heavenly religions. Great intelligence, before you believe in something or not, is to read it, study it, and understand it well, and after that you have the choice to believe in it or not to believe in it. I advise you to do this now, before you no longer have time to do so. Life is very short. It is just a test, just a passage to eternal life. Great advice to those who... Understands

[@Lolcoca]

For the moment, I have never lost a love because I still have all my family that I love so much 🤍🤍🤍

[@marka2188]

That is wonderful. Use this time to practice that inevitability one day. If it does not happen - wonderful. If it happens - you will be able to handle it.❤

[@Lolcoca]

@@marka2188 Thanks ! 🙏

[@rashidabaakza8554]

Mental health and mental pain is real. One should also have strong willpower and not to ease your suffering by taking medication 💊 if possible. Cause it will make you addicted and will take away all your potential happiness of future. Biggest lose is the death of your loved ones and nothing can replace it but with time, it will heal you but that particular time is so crucial in which you should have strong willpower, do not lose hope (if possible try to be helpful to someone who needs some sort of help, whether physical or emotional or financial that will really help your mental illness). Try to visit hospital (sick kids) where you can volunteer or visit orphanages, then you will realize there are so many people having countless problems and complications…. I’m sure you’ll never have any suicidal thoughts again. Life is very precious do not lose hope till last breath, maybe your life can save someone someday. 🤞❤️‍🩹

[@garciavashchino1]

Ima guess the drug names: Caffeine. w.e drug is found in Shrooms.

[@laviplay1275]

😯