Why Do Exes Come Back When You Stop Caring?

Clay Andrews discusses why do exes come back when you stop caring.
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Why do exes come back when you moved on yourself? I mean, what's going on?
The breakup was hard enough for you, most likely. There was that part of you that longed to get back together with them... Maybe you even wanted it more than anything else. And for whatever reason it didn't seem like it was going to happen, so you started moving on.
But then... there they are, coming back into your life again.
What gives?
Is this just some sort of sick cosmic joke?
Is this proof that we all want what we can't have, as all those other youtube videos will tell you?
Not at all. There is a perfectly reasonable explanation for all of this. And that's what I'll be sharing with you in this video.
**** IMPORTANT ****
This is an internet video, and it should be obvious, but this video and other videos on this channel should not be taken as a substitute for the evaluation of a psychologist, therapist, counselor, etc. This video and other videos on this channel are intended for informational uses only, and only reflect the personal opinions of the creator. The creator of this video is not responsible for your actions or choices or the consequences of your actions or choices.

[@ClayAndrews]

Thanks for watching this video. What do you think about what I shared in this video. Does it make sense? Share your thoughts in the comment area.

[@brittanywiltshire5722]

You look like the husband from I Love Lucy 😂. I appreciate your videos.

[@brittanywiltshire5722]

@Selena Guerrero let him take his time to get to you. I'm sure he will eventually. Even if he doesn't, it's ok. In my opinion, it doesn't sound like your ex has moved on entirely.

[@brittanywiltshire5722]

@Selena Guerrero don't worry, everyone starts to feel better at their own pace. I argued with this guy I was seeing 4 months ago and he has already started seeing someone else. I had not seen him for the whole year but I was in love with him. I know he wasn't right for me but love makes you a fool sometimes. Your ex might not be right for you either, just try to stay strong. If he comes back, think with your brain. Our hearts get us in trouble. I took an ex back and wasted many years. Your time is valuable and nonrefundable!.

[@111Feu]

It does had a similar experience the past week

[@legony1]

My ex broke up with me. I did no contact. Now he’s trying to get back with me, but it’s been 3 months since our breakup and I feel better and stronger and am emotionally not where I was 3 months ago and no longer interested in him.

[@georgepanagiotou8673]

Damn u Being over your ex in such a short period of time doesn’t really give me hope and getting my ex back. It’s also been three months for me and hoping we can still fix things but I doubt it. Gd for u though

[@legony1]

@@georgepanagiotou8673 Three months was a long time for me. Especially because I work from home and can’t do much because of COVID. Basically, I had 3 months of thinking about how bad things could have turned out if I had stayed. In a way, it helped me speed up my recovery because I had to really look hard in the mirror and realize what I want. My ex still tries to contact me, but I’m still not interested

[@georgepanagiotou8673]

@@legony1 I understand, well it’s definitely his loss. Good luck and be safe

[@lovelysky7798]

Wish i can be like this😅 NC for 1 month...

[@Shon9tilR]

4 months of nc for me. He hasn’t came back, but I’m like you I don’t want him back. He kept my things and I hope he doesn’t plan on coming back.

[@brycewheeler7190]

My ex contacted me crying after 34 days of no contact, we talked and she was messaging me everyday and I said I wanted to go slow we hung out once. And then she just ghosted me outta the blue. Guess I’ll start no contact again and she can learn to live life without me.

[@davemaurer7341]

She's a dissmissive avoidant.... run

[@MIMIDSH]

Whenever I feel emotionally strong and happy, he gets in touch. The good news is, it's starting to matter less and hurt less. I feel like I'm coming out of a deep dark mourning period that was like a state of numb shock. I wonder what energy I had been giving off, and if random people could pick up on that, even though I know I'd appear cheerful. The grief was still in me.

[@melindakube1705]

That is what I want to become out of this numb stage but I just don't know how to change my insecurity insecurity and codependency tendencies how to overcome always always meeting someone

[@nikochristoff1280]

With all the great memories I’ve made with my ex and all the moments we’ve shared, it’s been 3 months and honestly once I went into no contact I haven’t been any happier. I started talking to someone new and I’m excited for how it’s going to go thank you so much clay for all of your help !!

[@tyetr9853]

Update us

[@justinscott5072]

It won’t last bc women are happy in the moment till they are no longer happy. You have to remain mysterious or they will leave you. Give them to much to fast ruins your chances.

[@zeroonezero7852]

Because they love playing games and you won’t play them.

[@catherinechege8359]

Emotionally freedom does the magic

[@CJ-dx1oh]

it’s been a year and we are now both in new relationships. I wish him well & hope he doesn’t try contacting me. it was very toxic

[@acemany1126]

Liar!!

[@Lisa-bc1qe]

@@acemany1126 😂😂😂😂😂 Bruh, do you know her?

[@aldo8655]

Nah, you make it too complicated, the reason for them to come back is, if one doesn't demonstrate pain but indifference instead after a break up, that triggers the other to question why isn't he or she miserable for our break up, "doesn't he/she miss me?" They have to ask, then their smashed ego makes them come back, time and time again, it always happen, the key is: "a polite indifference".

[@ClayAndrews]

Thanks for sharing your insight, Aldo. :-)

[@anitamiriam8909]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......❤❤

[@anitamiriam8909]

†2349056214114⏭⏯???????❤❤

[@anitamiriam8909]

Wh atsA p p👆❤❤

[@chilloften]

I miss my ex terribly, loved him, to much. All four chambers. Keep legs closed ladies.

[@juliet3227]

Hi Clay,this kenyan right here is experiencing anxiety right now and cant sleep.Please pray for me as well,even though you are a coach.Its 4 am over here.thanks guys

[@Pangora2]

Keep busy and work on yourself!

[@aganlabale4985]

Otieno kula omena

[@juliet3227]

@@aganlabale4985 you cant be serious lol

[@George-Aguilar]

I needed this right now. Thank You

[@lara-zaralaulinda3129]

He completely disappeared from my life after the break up 5 months ago, there was no fight or disrespect. He went from super caring to none existent ...I don't even know what to take from this anymore. I checked on him once like a month ago to see if he is healthy and all but the conversation in other directions seemed a bit forced...

[@grace3254]

mine came back when i stopped caring but then left again once i started caring so looks like i will go back to not caring

[@anitamiriam8909]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......❤❤

[@anitamiriam8909]

†2349056214114⏭⏯???????❤❤

[@anitamiriam8909]

Wh atsA p p👆❤❤

[@sivan1342]

It's not about caring,it's about prioritizing yourself regardless who is with you.

[@georgieswlrd1213]

My ex came back to me..it’s been 6 years since she left me but im not gonna entertain it because she’s still talking to the other guy she spent 5 years with

[@ClayAndrews]

I'm sorry to hear about that. I understand that it may be a struggle but what is important is that you know your values. :-)

[@santabala6314]

Crazy

[@brandoman579]

Can you make a video explaining why my ex says we've grown apart

[@EkaRudi]

My ex broke up with me 2 months ago, when I started to prevent further damage by doing no contact, she goes back and even invites me to come with her to play etc. I think that we should do more self improvement, and things may be fixed in the future!

[@gerardbatrow8043]

I think Clay is Great. Very realistic, and truthful.

[@ClayAndrews]

Thanks for the compliment, Gerard. We truly appreciate that. :-)

[@RobertJones-et7gh]

Wow. This makes sense. Great video.

[@jessepushor9967]

really needed this video today thank you clay as always

[@ClayAndrews]

Glad to help

[@พรทิพย์จุฑาทิพย์]

Thanks very much. I hope he will come back soon. If not I will find someone else.

[@anitamiriam8909]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......❤❤

[@anitamiriam8909]

†2349056214114⏭⏯???????❤❤

[@anitamiriam8909]

Wh atsA p p👆❤❤

[@blueishmary]

Hey Clay, my ex is onto someone else, but she seems jealous when she known I am messaging someone I'm crushing, she seemed to be sarcastic too when I asked if she was okay thoo 😂 what can u say about it?

[@kimdphaya]

Another insightful video 😊

[@ClayAndrews]

Thank you!

[@ellisvirostko4138]

I'm making so much progress because of your advice. Thanks for doing these great videos Clay.

[@jennifermitchell2754]

The father of my child has left me and I want our family back but I need help healing from him and moving on. Please help me and pray for us. I am not able t go no contact with him due to our shared daughter and I am so confused as to what to do.

[@anitamiriam8909]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......❤❤

[@anitamiriam8909]

†2349056214114⏭⏯???????❤❤

[@anitamiriam8909]

Wh atsA p p👆❤❤

[@Pangora2]

After a year of silence, my Ex now will respond, but only to texts...sometimes, and won't answer any questions. I've tried to ask questions about how she is feeling, showing my own vulnerabilities. I can show her a fun picture and she may comment, she may vaguely refer to what she is up to. But this has been going on for about a month, and my nerves are kinda getting shot up at my own inability to get her to open up more. I can only ask her 'how is work' so often.

[@Shon9tilR]

Who broke up with who?

[@Coach_Ced_7]

After One year you need to move on and really forget your ex

[@chlochlo8207]

moving on hurts when its too late.. ive been done wanting relationships i have since i was 14 im just done trying now im 25 im tired. im not fake moving on for someone to love me once a women is done shes just done :/

[@Alamo927]

So true dude 🙌✊🏽

[@alexbell6527]

How do you work on yourself and what you really want in life , when all you know you want is your family back. THATS where you know your happiness lies. How can you aspire to that as your goal in life when you are totally walled out. Thank you.

[@poppydolby2848]

My bro , been through it , over a year now , made all the mistakes for months , her family is behind her , just try to neuter yourself and stay out the way unless it’s family time with your kids and stuff , I lost a beautiful girl also because I was to concerned about getting back with family and now ended up with nothing , so work on yourself after your grief as the decision isn’t in your hands , got to act like you don’t care even if it’s an act

[@alexbell6527]

@@poppydolby2848 thank you Poppy, I'm just the same. I called on phone Christmas morning to tell my ex I was outside and could our daughter come out for a moment to collect her gifts. Only to be told NO... I had a conversation with my ex about various points since our breakup. All she ever does is want to point the finger and blame myself for us not having been able to sort anything between ourselves, suggesting we have tried in many ways to work together but that nothing has worked. This is news to me as everytime I have asked to work together I have only ever had the reply that there is nothing to talk about. In 3 years we have not sat together and discussed anything. I have never in 3 years been allowed to see our daughter for anything more than 2 hours a fortnight under observation of a 3rd party. My mental heath suffered severely from the break up of family life. And then to hear the news my ex was seeing another man just broke my back. I nearly lost my life through suicide. That was 9 moths ago. She did not stay with him long. Only 10 weeks. I have kept my distance and due to covid I have not seen my daughter since March. Also mum has decided that it was my fault that I haven't seen her rather than putting it down to the contact centre closing due to covid. I have tried so hard for 3 years plus to show my patience, to understand to listen. Yet nothing has worked to help us just communicate. This is all I want, to build a new connection . Yet it seems impossible.

[@poppydolby2848]

Bro that sounds mad , don’t take her back , your daughter is getting older and will get to hear your side. all I can say is do what you can when you can and pay your child maintenance , your daughter will want to talk to you off her own back soon as she gets older n it will al changed promise Mum got the power now it’s going to change believe in it

[@alexbell6527]

@@poppydolby2848 thank you Poppy, Your reply is so much appreciated. I will continue to fight for our daughter. however , I know what it is to TRULY love someone and I would take my ex back in a heartbeat today, tomorrow or in 10 years. Thats what it is to Love

[@poppydolby2848]

bro I feel ya but got to set boundaries if I was you I would deal with your daughter and be off the map other then that , start working out get a great body and don’t mention it , start buying clothes and leaving them in wardrobe and trainers etc and when the body comes together and stuff save a few grand , hit her with something she can’t resist

[@laceycastillo6598]

Merry Christmas Clay!

[@ClayAndrews]

Happy holidays!

[@sammonsterenergy1982]

So my ex ended it..went NC for 30days..she got in touch..conversation went really well..then she disappeared again & it’s been another 30NC..I’m confused and unsure of how to feel

[@13sprintuser]

Update?

[@CowboyEkim]

GREAT VIDEO 💯

[@crazzzeeej]

The Universe doesn't like a vacuum. The love energy returns.

[@welovee1680]

Mine just asked me Sunday night when am I going to find someone to make me happy? I just thought WTH? I just said I don’t want to talk about this. He says why? I said because. Him because why? I said I think you know already. Him so you’re not looking? I said I’ve tried but that I couldn’t right now. His plans with old gf got canceled by her I’m assuming. She was flying here for a visit. So he asks me to go on 2 nights trip with him. I feel like I’m the backup plan ugh. I’m gonna suck it up and go just so I can create some positive memories for him of us. This was one of the issues of not doing things together that he liked. So I will put big effort into doing things with him he enjoys. I hope this helps bring him back to wanting something committed with me one day

[@starfaith721]

Also he tells me...that i shouldn't think of him. Cuz i was reminded of him when i saw a sunset, and i sent a picture to him and said thought of you. He was like..you shouldn't. I said ill always. Then he replied again saying..you shouldnt. Like why. He still loves me also. But why say something like that?😭🥺

[@anitamiriam8909]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......❤❤

[@anitamiriam8909]

†2349056214114⏭⏯???????❤❤

[@anitamiriam8909]

Wh atsA p p👆❤❤

[@th4n4t58]

Hello @Clay Andrews, is it a rebound if my ex just met him 2 weeks after our post breakup? and they are starting to get sweet to each other, I've known my ex for so long almost 3 years, and we had a 5 months legal intimate relationship and we broke up due to complications and hard times when we aren't in a relationship before. we had so many good and priceless memories together through ups and downs and we loved each other, I've endured so much for her, we've seen each other's worse and unfortunately I made the call of breaking up because of the trauma we had in the past, I regret breaking up with her but I had to because I am blinded by the trauma that she caused me before.

[@th4n4t58]

I classify myself as the dumper, I reached out on christmas eve, and apologized for everything I've done wrong, I didn't plead or begged for us to comeback, only apologies, and wished her the best. Did I do the right thing? should I now do no contact? after the apology I said? I backed off because I have a feeling that she and the new guy is going to be in a rebound relationship.

[@yeoitscori3618]

how can I retract him if social media is not involved at all where he no longer uses any of it? I have made changes and still will continue to do so whole doing no contact. I don't want to lose hope. please advise. this is a ldr 3 years and been broken up 6 months ago. he has not reach out once and I only wished him happy new year to show that I am in a better place where I'm not needy. I don't expect his response at all but he did reply kindly and wished me all the best. that's it. is this over

[@vicvil6032]

I don't think he will ,it's been 16 months now

[@philogreen24neth77]

My ex and I were together for 6 years and have two children together she left me to be with the guy she cheated on me with who had just gotten into a breakup with his ex recently so they are both each other's rebounds and from what she tells me he frequently talks about his ex to her on how he can't believe she moved on right away after the breakup and she doesn't see that as a red flag I know this is due to the honeymoon phase and once she realizes it. It will be far too late to give me back without seriously proving it because I feel better since I cut her off entirely my life has been a lot better since she's been gone I'm almost sad that I didn't break up with her

[@anitamiriam8909]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......❤❤

[@anitamiriam8909]

†2349056214114⏭⏯???????❤❤

[@anitamiriam8909]

Wh atsA p p👆❤❤

[@tyetr9853]

Update us

[@starfaith721]

What if he already thinks i dont care... that i only cared about what i wanted in the relationship..then even if i do what you say..will he come back? Because i was emotionally dependent on him also

[@ClayAndrews]

Sounds like there's certain work that we have to focus on. First, we have to learn to be emotionally independent with the person. Maybe, the way he perceive things comes from a place of how dependent you may be towards him in the relationship. That caused him to resist further.

[@මලින්දසමරසිංහ]

Thank You

[@ClayAndrews]

You're welcome. :-)

[@hellennanyunja822]

Wat to do f ma ex wana poison me yet I moved on....hlp me. He said he left da other chik fo me buh he z lying......again ..I dnt want drama again......hlp me out pliz

[@eliotruben3442]

Learn how to type firstly lol

[@btstakescareofmewhenimsick4892]

What language is this? 😂😂

[@brinalim5978]

It's quite profound I don't understand.

[@barrettkamari3907]

Very nice 😍💋 💝💖♥️❤️

[@marczavier1888]

OMG 😍💋 💝💖❤️

[@albertdimatteo531]

Clay it always looks like you’re reading off a teleprompter. Keep it more real and genuine by looking directly at your audience. Food for thought