Why doesn't he want me? Why doesn't he love me?

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This video is for you if you are feeling unwanted or unloved and you are wondering why doesn’t he want me? Or why doesn’t he love me? It will support you in these difficult feelings and help you feel more loved and more wanted, even when he’s not showing giving you those things.
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[@renatelewis538]

I felt unloved and unwanted all my life. Looking for love since my childhood. Wanted love from my Father and looking for him in all the wrong guy's and can't get it from those guys. So when you realise that than you can start healing and go on and those guys you thought you were in love with and don't want you become unimportant. So you start loving yourself.

[@thejackbutler]

Yes! Well said! Glad you're walking this path 🙏

[@SchoolofStuffThatMatters]

Same here but still can't manage to heal it. Keep thinking I've met someone different this time and that I'm choosing better. But no 😔

[@Emma-ud2pj]

Renate love is what you give?

[@Artsylady2030]

no one has ever loved me. ,,, they just used me and dump me

[@topcat2033]

1) Trust the unfolding - the right guy will want you/love you. 2) Stay with the feeling of feeling of unloved & unwanted to desensitise & work through old patterns. 3) Are you generally going after an unavailable man? Work through this. 4) Stop telling yourself the story of this always happens to me, I'm unlovable, I'm unwanted.

[@Yvette.T]

"Don't unwant and unlove myself, don't abandon myself", had to pause right here (6:30 ish) and say I love this! ❤

[@thejackbutler]

Glad that bit resonated! When I was re-listening that was one of my favorite parts / namings too!

[@Yvette.T]

@@thejackbutler Yes! And the way you really look into the cameraas you say these things...as silly as it sounds, I almost feel like you're in front of me talking to me 😊

[@thejackbutler]

@@Yvette.T I also get that because I sometimes have a similar experience when I watch lol!

[@Yvette.T]

@@thejackbutler Haha, do you mean when you watch your own videos back? That must feel a lil weird for you 😄😄

[@cassandragarcia573]

This hits the nail on the head. I don’t mean to go after men that are unavailable..subconsciously it’s comfortable and predictable. I look past the red flags, like they just got out of a relationship, they don’t have stability etc.. The familiarity of dating someone who I know will leave is way more comfortable than dating a guy who does show up. This is because if that good type of guy left too, it would be all the more devastating. I’m realizing these patterns now and dodging those flags early on. The next part is when I do meet someone who is nice and willing to make time for me to not sabotage it.

[@thejackbutler]

Hey Cassandra, that all makes sense and sounds like some profound awareness to me. Good luck practising staying longer in connection with a guy who does show up.

[@kellyannespirithealing42]

My thoughts and prayers exactly

[@kimgordon3695]

Nailed it 💕

[@sakinamaryamkarim3567]

Some men are really good natured but their emotional unavailability is mingled with their distaste for single life and their need for validation. This usually occurs after he's had his heart broken one or more times, and women need to understand that and just take a step back. Though some men are just players, in the case of the emotionally unavailable, that's one of the reasons why. I have a close male associate that actually divulged such things to me about his emotional state and I did, however, tell him that he should be alone until he heals so he doesn't hurt woman in the process. I'm attracted to him myself though he's a few years younger than me but I'm happy that he feels secure talking to me about such personal things and I hope he betters himself.

[@thejackbutler]

Hey Sakina, thanks for your share. I agree that usually some fallow time is necessary to heal. What are you looking for in your relationship life?

[@sakinamaryamkarim3567]

@@thejackbutler As a foundation I'd like to court someone with the same spirituality as I. So with it we may encourage and help each other to advance and improve our selves , even teach one another! A relationship where we always feel comfortable in vulnerability while having the desire to truly understand and be there for each other when the world has its moments of knocking us down. And of course have fun! Ehh, sometimes I feel like that won't happen to me..........

[@happythoughts505]

I totally agree Sakina, but very diffult to deal with when they do not let you know anything about them but are a supposedly "nice guy" i thought mine should have had time alone after being with someone only 4 months prior to me for 4 years but he said it was over a long time ago, im a very sensitve pisces & need to communicate & have been burnt alot in the past & this obviously affected me with this relationship, i was fully attatched & he was detached, how can i be more like that invested in relationship so that i dont get so attatched & broken hearted, i cried today.......18 months later, when will the pain go!!!!

[@nunya257]

Well said, Sakina! I find myself in a very similar situation. I love these Jack Butler videos not only for his incredible wisdom, but also the insights I find in the comments.

[@JJ-dk1lr]

Letting go of a narcassist is hard but so worth it! I am working on loving myself more.

[@thejackbutler]

Good work all round!

[@happythoughts505]

I just dont understand how exactly you love yourself, is it a lifetime??

[@thejackbutler]

Jane Swanson Think about how you love someone else - attention, care, showing up. Can you do that for yourself? Can you practise doing that for yourself?

[@happythoughts505]

Thanks Jack, yeh very difficult as i have always given my all to everybody else & partners to much ive been told, i am trying to put myself first & clearly yes i have to put this energy into me, yet 51 years of expecting the external to love & care for me is clearly non existant, so upsetting that unknown mental health can take its toll without you even knowing & the ones you love can see & leave, the most painful feeling in the world!!!!! My love & strength to all that feel this abandonment, helplessness & rejection, but still we try so hard & expected to keep moving positively forward.......very, very slowly i might add, i cant wait to fully come out of this pain on the other side!!! ❤❤

[@happythoughts505]

How do u let go of attatchment?

[@sarahpellett8737]

Amazing how the universe provides the exact messages I’m not even knowing I needed to hear. Thank you, Jack. Wise advice 🙏🏻

[@thejackbutler]

Hey Sarah! Yes, I know what you mean, I can relate to that. Glad you're finding wisdom here, very pleased to hear that :)

[@diannaantes5262]

I am rewinding this video to rehear this truth I need to relax and be with the feeling that I feel unloved and unwanted and move past the unavailable men I am still attracting. I am aware now but I need to reject and cut off these guys but in a Gentle manner . I've cried so hard time and time again over the same harsh personal reality .So much interpersonal work to be done .

[@thejackbutler]

Tread gently with yourself 🙏 there's a lot involved in this territory especially if it's one that's been wounding over a period of time. Thanks for re-listening 🙏

[@PacificNWGrl]

You’re such a bright light for me. All your videos are so empathetic. They’re from such a unique and spiritual place that helps me like no other relationship coach. Thank you.

[@thejackbutler]

That's touching to hear Jen, thank you! 🙏

[@kkiissssiikk]

Jennifer L I agree.

[@laurajomarie2591]

Oh my goodness, I didn't even realize how much I needed this video. Such a major pain point for me.. probably my #1 one. Thank you sooo much for posting this! 🙏

[@thejackbutler]

You're really welcome!

[@airaormond1017]

I finally got the answer from him. He believes "Compliance equals Love". Every time I didn't comply he said he stopped loving me. Wish I had known this from the beginning and glad I know now.

[@thejackbutler]

Aira Ormond Oh wow, that’s an interesting frame, glad you unearthed it!

[@eeyeltee]

I heard one relationship coach tell women that if a man likes them, they will pursue them and want to be with them. Women need not do anything to convince a man to want them. If they're in their masculine energy, they will do things to make the woman happy and they increase their testosterone in the process. If the woman is into him, she will make more opportunities for him to bond with her and this increases her estrogen and oxytocin levels. Such kind of relationship amplifies each one's happiness. Win-win!

[@toscadonna]

What do you have to say to the women who will never meet the right guy? My Mom, for example, is now 79 years old and never met a decent man. She never met “The One.” Does anyone have any advice to deal with the grief of never meeting the man for us? No one ever discusses this sad fact that most men are not interested in relationships, and they’ll be playing the field until their last breaths.

[@thejackbutler]

tosca donna I don’t think it’s true that most men are not interested in relationships. Most men get married at some point, many more than once. It may be that you’re meeting men who aren’t drawn to committed relationship (many of them) or who don’t have the same priority in relationship as you do (probably most men)

[@Artsylady2030]

@@thejackbutler I don't need to marry but I do want an honest and faithful guy to spend my time with....I am late 50's and wonder if I will ever find a guy who will just love me....

[@annclairepahlavi7622]

Pattern matching. What a brilliant concept and so well explained. Thank you. I’m going to stop re-traumatizing myself with my own lame stories.

[@thejackbutler]

Hey Ann! Love hearing that, yes sometimes popping through our replays and stories can be so freeing 🙏

[@mariarossi6719]

You talk a lot of sense, Jack, you really do. As far as the rejection element goes, sometimes that can turn out to be a bullet dodged! Thanks for another great video!

[@thejackbutler]

Thanks for reflecting that Maria. I appreciate it. Do you mean that sometimes you rightfully feel rejected and should walk away?

[@vera1654]

I can't believe how much this resonates with me. This time I'm going to stay with these feelings, instead of self destructing.

[@thejackbutler]

Hey Veronika! Wishing you well practising that 🙏

[@starlite0784]

The guy I wanted and still miss and still want, was, I hate to admit, was unsuitable. But he had so many great qualities also like a wicked sense of humour, hard working, dr

[@thejackbutler]

Hey Starlite - yes I hear you - I think sometimes what's hard about people who aren't right for us is that they are kinda partially right for us (right?!)

[@buffhotchkiss7400]

There double minded and fickle. Its also about money. They would reallt love a long term relationship with an entrepreneur who stripes at night. It not enough to be attractive yinancially independent and loyal. Even if you stayed at home and maintained domestic bliss made good money and kept yourself in shape. Its not enough. They want to try on new shoes every other day. Definitely way too much work.

[@sjgbrighton]

Jack that was amazing. After a very traumatic break up 8 months ago and another more recent one, where I have been phased out, I have been so down on myself. I try so hard in a relationship too. I do go after unavailable men as I run the other way if they get too keen. I have no idea why, except my parents were pretty much unavailable. This is a very helpful video x

[@thejackbutler]

Thanks for sharing. One thing you could practise is enrolling support when you want to run and revealing that you have that urge. Sometimes revealing it can make it a little easier to stay?

[@Trisha1807]

Hi Jack, I want to thank you so much for your valuable messages. Sometimes it's hard to be real to myself, often I felt unwanted and unloved by myself. You are so right. I will work on it.

[@thejackbutler]

Trisha hey - glad this helped with the unwanted and unloved territory. Tread gently with yourself!

[@Trisha1807]

Thanks Jack for your kind words. I appreciate that. It's easier said than done but I will do my best. I like the way you explain things it's refreshing and helpful. Have a good one!

[@nogalistictuber7166]

Thank you so much. Your videos have been picking me up from rock bottom. Truly thankful for you.

[@evieferbin2130]

There ya go again..amazing! Looking forward to meeting a stable real man as I never knew what he looked like. The familiar seemed comfortable although unavailable and heartbreaking. Thank you for the clarity and wisdom that you provide. God blessed you xoxo

[@thejackbutler]

Thanks very much Evie! Wishing you find what you're looking for! Glad you've been liking these videos 🙏

[@nola8504]

Self acceptance, self love and the total belief you have in yourself that you are good enough for any guy you want, is the answer to him loving you.

[@thejackbutler]

Hey Renola, yes, those things are so important 🙏

[@nola8504]

@@thejackbutler Yes, and there's only 1 guy I want 💔

[@thejackbutler]

Renola Jodie I hear you - hope the path unfolds for your highest

[@JJDay88]

I have a pattern of going after emotionally stunted or unavailable guys with "big hearts" and are great people, but upon closer connection, I can see they're quite damaged. Yet, the guys who actively want or pursue me tend to be guys that I am either physically unattracted to or I feel are too clingy/needy and therefore come to see them as unattractive. My history of dating is embarrassing. The only men who've pursued me and I've given chances to be with have literally been institutionalized (I come to find out after dating for a couple of weeks), but the ones I pursue although haven't been clinically diagnosed also have emotional baggage. The emotionally available, sane ones befriend me and don't pursue me romantically. What work can I do on myself to help relieve this pattern?

[@thejackbutler]

I hear you, thanks for sharing. One thing you could look at is what your own relationship to your own needs and neediness is. Sometimes we overlook it and then reject it other people. You could also look at how you are connecting with guys if they are friendzoning you. Are you bringing your vulnerability? Are you bringing your feminine? All of these are just starter questions/inquiries.

[@JJDay88]

@@thejackbutler thank you so much for your advice! 🙂

[@thejackbutler]

J.J. Day You’re welcome, feel free to let me know how you go 🙏

[@user-bj2lu9qt3o]

Very deep. Again: bravo!👏🙏 I'm very glad that you give clear advice to get help in form of real face to face therapy. Most of the time these difficult feelings and unconscious patterns can't be handled alone. You need someone else to reflect you and guide you so that you are able to help yourself. But you do a fantastic job with your vids because they're reminders, make us more aware and encourage us. Thank you.

[@thejackbutler]

Glad you're liking the depth! Yep, I do believe 'containers' to do inner work are important. And I also believe self-honesty and self-awareness and practise really matter. Happy you're feeling encouraged by this content :)

[@user-bj2lu9qt3o]

@@thejackbutler And your helping a lot with self-honesty (you touch difficult feelings that we wanna suppress) and self-awareness (giving clear advice how to do that). The difficult part is to put it into practice... 😬

[@dawnv4167]

You are my favorite KZbinr. Almost every video brings tears through realizations from your words. Thank you.

[@thejackbutler]

Dawn Stanley That’s precious, thanks for sharing that Dawn 🌟

[@TanyaPhilipovich]

SO much good stuff here, Jack! You've really helped me a lot a lot a lot lately. Thank you for YOU! Registered for the webinar too!

[@thejackbutler]

I'm glad to hear that! Thanks for registering for the webinar. You're welcome!!

[@MonikaCiepla]

Merci Jack! Love the concept and as always how you present it! I noticed that since I started working on me, my wounds, self-love techniques and since I brought the attention of feeling “approved”, loved from exterior (other people, experiences, things etc) to internal, brought the attention back to me, in silence, in the kind of bliss of being on my own for a while, I feel better and better. I have less and less of the “spinning”, I don’t give my power away. I’m staying with myself. I don’t abandon myself, I hold myself and look after myself even more, even when things don’t go as I wished them to. You have beautifully put it in words and it resonates with me strongly! Thank you for all your help! 🙏🏻🌞✌🏼

[@marciamellow1211]

I think that when someone walks away, it is them... not the person being left.. they left... move on... always think well of yourself.... seems simple, keep the emotions out... use your better sense... right? Love your thoughts Jack...💥

[@thejackbutler]

Hey Marcia - I agree as long as you are feeling what's coming up (if it's coming up) - thanks for writing :)

[@marysunshine5575]

How you talk is perfect no t’s needed! Thank you for this amazing and much needed message!

[@thejackbutler]

Haha! Thank you :) Glad you like the message 🙏

[@bonniechampagne4093]

Thank you Jack! As always so very insightful! Not only are you a wonderful coach, but I feel a wonderful cyber friend, to all of us ♥️

[@thejackbutler]

Aww thanks Bonnie! I like this community! :)

[@nurshuhada1587]

Love your content .. As always, quite hard to swallow but I needed to hear them. Thank you!

[@thejackbutler]

Thank you - yes, I realize it might be hard to hear at times and doing my best to make it as hearable as poss!

[@audra1976oliver]

This video really orientates to my current situation. The feeling of being unloved and unwanted after my bf just broke up with me. This helps me to remind myself that I do love myself and not to spin out. Rejection devastates me. It's because my dad rejected me as a child and that surfaces after each rejection I experience. This video is supportive of my situation.

[@thejackbutler]

I hear you. Keep gently relaxing and inquiring into that rejection wound. Maybe your dad rejected himself or a part of himself first?

[@audra1976oliver]

@@thejackbutler ty Jack, gives me things to think about

[@manolyarowe3794]

Your teaching and views are resonating with me more than any other coach. I love your british accent! Thank you for all your work! Your my hero, because you are so truethfull.

[@thejackbutler]

Manolya Rowe Wow, thank you! Glad it’s having such resonance for you 🙏🌟

[@nunya257]

Fantastic video. I don't feel unloveabe or down on myself...I just MISS him. He is so unusual and fun and brilliant. Such a loss.

[@thejackbutler]

Fair enough, I hear you, loss is real 🙏

[@GG17250]

I'm here to heal me. I'm not interested in a romantic relationships, but I do want deep connections with friends.

[@ralucaserban982]

Thank you Jack! I'm working with myself for nearly a year to go over a situation like this and it's going better and better. Thank you! It's so nice listening to you.

[@thejackbutler]

Hey Raluca! Glad to hear your situation is going better and better 🙏 Good on you for doing the work on yourself :)

[@ralucaserban982]

@@thejackbutler ooh Jack, it's not easy, but ... it's what I need to learn now and become

[@amandagracekeller9658]

Yessss....now you are getting to the "meat and potatoes" of it... I commented with compliments on one of your other more recent videos, and this one deserves recognition as well. I appreciate you touching on the more spiritual aspects as well as the aspects or opportunities for self-reflection, self-awareness and slow-growth. Well done! This energy you are in in these recent videos is on point! Gorgeous message. Thank you. I appreciate you

[@thejackbutler]

Thanks Amanda! Glad the energy and message is on point and resonating for you. Thanks for your ongoing presence on my channel 🙏

[@npkrn6764]

Point #3---Confirmation bias is what you're talking about. Good or bad - we look for what is comfortable (often subconsciously). I've done this exactly. Seemingly going after somewhat unavailable men and then wondering why I'm unloved or my feelings aren't reciprocated! Duh! It's madness!!! But since I've taken a good look at myself and my choices, I've tried to be more conscious in my decisions. Knowledge and self reflection is powerful. It's an ongoing challenge, but takes practice as you say, but like any thought process and/or behavior, once you train yourself, it (loving oneself enough) can become your default INSTEAD of staying "asleep" through life and making bad choices from a place of lack.

[@margaritam.9118]

Your “I don’t know, girl” expression in the thumbnail answers the question by itself ahahah :D

[@thejackbutler]

haha - I am pushing my edges with these thumbnail expressions!

[@home-free4315]

I really appreciate your insight, Jack. I'm working on being more self aware and this information is very specific to me.

[@thejackbutler]

Hey Jennifer - really good to hear that this information is really supporting you 🙏

[@ms.vsmith7881]

Wow, this was very profound!! Very helpful indeed. Thanks so much Jack!!! I am trying to look at it like rejection is the universe's protection :) Thanks for all u do and r Jack!!!

[@thejackbutler]

Glad the profundity was helpful 🙏 You're welcome!!

[@nathalie5238]

Good content!!! So hard!!! Yes self love, not always easy... but still hurting, as everybody needs validation from the outside, isn’t it? Started loving myself more, opening up and be vulnerable to men... still when my last guy broke up, I was devastated 😢 especially cause I opened up to him. Still love myself... would just be great to find Mr Right, cause loving myself but remaining single begins to weight , feeling alone...just want to find my budy. Regarding emotional unavailable men... dating in 40’s a lot of singles are quite broken from their past and unavailable. Still confident he mist be hiding somewhere ☺️

[@thejackbutler]

I'm sure he's out there somewhere yes! Sounds like you're on the right path 🙏 And yes sometimes that path is anything but easy!

[@mariapap8962]

Isn't there also a possibility that life doesn't want us to be with anyone but stay single instead... and may'be that's why we go though a series of failed relationships? Isn't that some kind of message too?

[@Artsylady2030]

I need two know the answer to this question also. please

[@Mae-rr5ye]

I like your videos because you talk to your audience like you're giving Advice to a friend or sibling. Thanks for the videos! 😊

[@thejackbutler]

That's really neat to hear, thank you

[@esperanzazagal7241]

You speak hard truths in a gentle way. I love it. Thank you. I appreciate you 💞

[@macareuxmoine]

What a great therapy session! Thank you Jack! Also here: comes at exactly the right time... 🥰

[@leighmorrison5193]

Thanks Jack. Spot on.

[@thejackbutler]

Right on 🙏

[@avgonyma1]

My parents are divorced and I felt my father doesn't care much (for that reason I decided to stop calling him, for the past 20 years). What I've been noticing since i've been a teenager is: when someone important to me (like a BF) doesn't treat me well, I end up not being my best friend either. Or when someone important (mom, BF) doesn't believe in me. I don't beat myself up, I know it's not my fault. But at the moment I should give myself support (in practical ways, like making sure I follow my interests, in a timely manner), I tend to let myself go, and just be sad or disappointed about the whole situation, and consequentially miss opportunities that I am pursuing, or neglect tyding my place etc. I clearly see this pattern, but frequently don't feel that I have any strength to generate a power beyond what I currently feel like, at least while the hurt feelings are on the forefront. (In my case I am aware of many things- but that itself isn't sufficient for a resolution/solution.) How does one heal and overcome this? What approach/technique do you suggest for me, besides staying with the feeling? (Staying with it is fine, but it's still in the realm of the "negative feelings" . How does one make a positive shift from here to resolution, freedom from this, and having a substituting healthy pattern?) Thank you. 🙏

[@marisajurgens3022]

It is really amazing like Sarah said, how the universe unfolds the messages. So much truth and new information to need to be looked at. You made it so clear, and now I know where to start working and practicing on. Mind-blowing! Thank you so much and lots of blessings. Keep the good work up!

[@thejackbutler]

Hey Marisa! Thanks for all the feedback, I appreciate it! Let me know how your practising goes!

[@amswestyorkshire8048]

Thank you Jack..

[@thejackbutler]

You are very welcome :)

[@SonyeoMargit]

I'm glad I found your chanel. Its everything I need to hear. And I like your speaking language and how you express yourself.

[@thejackbutler]

Happy you found your way here. And thank you 🙏

[@mifasola1]

Jack u r the best. My situation is unique as I am in my mid 60's who 6 months after her husband of 40 years died, met a successful medical professional in my town, developed a connection wiith, then 4 months later we became sexual and continued to connect...here's the catch...he was in a troubled marriage and in the beginning he was all into me...then it started to fall apart after 10 months when the guilty conscience hit him after he and the wife went to marriage counseling. He knew I was in love with him but he never returned those words back to me. He just wasn't available to love me. I suppose he was more in love with his predictable mundane life with the wife, adult kids, and all the rest of the family and career and material things. He wasn't about to make a change and lose all that he had built. I never felt insecure about my worth and that's why after he ghosted me and then tried to friend zone me I said absolutely no to that idea and held him accountable for that immature behavior. We were lovers, I loved him and I wasn't going to be his friend to spare him a guilty conscience about his dumping me. I basically told him in the end that he would not hear from or see me again. I had to move forward because I'm not one to stay stuck in a go nowhere relationship with a man who is ambivalent. I suspect he was emotionally unavailable and I was an open book. A bad combination. I'm sure he felt something for me but it just wasn't enough when one gives more than the other.

[@thejackbutler]

Hey, yep, that can just be a super difficult situation. Someone who is married is definitely a kind of unavailable guy. Glad you did what you needed to honor yourself and let it go 🙏

[@jamiesaavedra4412]

My belief system is where I need the most work I touched on this while in AL Anon back to work on this thank you.

[@clementinekush]

Hi Jack, thank you for your videos. They're a fresh perspective I need.

[@thejackbutler]

Happy to hear!

[@allisonsingsromance4167]

This really helped my perspective on my romantic life. Thank you for uploading such beautifully, inspirational videos!!

[@thejackbutler]

Yay! Glad you are experiencing them that way 🙏🙏

[@melbeth79]

Very good. Thanks for making this video, Jack!

[@thejackbutler]

You're welcome! Glad you liked it!

[@ulamusiol517]

He wants to be with me but chats to other women and, as if, has a sperate life to himself. I feel it is dishonest and in essence i feel not really loved and wanted. I assume that if he really loved me he wouldn't be doing that. I broke up with him and I'm heart broken about it. I'm so disappointed.

[@Artsylady2030]

same my guy cheats , lies and abuses me I am heartbroken without him. I am sick

[@whichypoohs]

So much great information. Thank you Jack. Love your wisdom and videos.

[@thejackbutler]

Heather Davies You’re v welcome Heather, happy to hear you are finding wisdom here 🙏

[@danisunseri5429]

Thank you Jack!🌷Your videos are super-helpful..so grateful 🙏

[@thejackbutler]

+Dani Sunseri Yay - awesome 🙏

[@ginam.4990]

Excellent video. It all resonated.

[@thejackbutler]

Thanks Disco - appreciate that :)

[@nathalie5238]

It all can be so true. Yet it is painful to see that in 7 years time not one single man I dated wanted me and wasn’t mr right 😢 7 years is loooooong Indeel unloved cause they just walk away or even worse... they vanish

[@Artsylady2030]

same only it has been 15 yrs for me

[@lesliesedberry3778]

Thank you Jack. This really made sense to me. Actually spot on for me. Really helpful. 😅

[@thejackbutler]

Hey Leslie! Amazing, love hearing that 🙏:)

[@QueenLDes]

12:12 geez he touched every damn area. Too good content.

[@thejackbutler]

Awww thank you!!

[@arxsyn]

SO UNSEXY (Alanis Morissette) Oh, these little rejections, how they add up quickly One small sideways look and I feel so ungood and Somewhere along the way, I think I gave you the power to make Me feel the way I thought only my father could and Oh, these little rejections, how they seem so real to me One forgotten birthday, I'm all but cooked and How these little abandonments seem to sting so easily I'm 13 again, am I 13 for good? I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful So unloved for someone so fine I can feel so boring for someone so interesting So ignorant for someone of sound mind Oh, these little protections, how they fail to serve me One forgotten phone call and I'm deflated and Oh, these little defenses, how they fail to comfort me Your hand pulling away and I'm devastated I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful So unloved for someone so fine I can feel so boring for someone so interesting So ignorant for someone of sound mind When will I stop leaving, baby? When will I stop deserting, baby? When will I start staying with myself? Oh, these little projections, how they keep springing from me I jump my ship as I take it personally and Oh, these little rejections, how they disappear quickly *The Moment I Decide Not To Abandon Me* .... Alanis, you wonderful Canadian Goddess! Listen to one of her live renditions here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/gYOXoKB_pNJ4mNU Broadway duet version: kzbin.info/www/bejne/qYHEaqaPa6h9n9E

[@thejackbutler]

I saw her speak a few years back, I enjoyed it 🙏

[@arxsyn]

Jack Butler Yes Jack, She is amazing. As a Canadian l am so proud of her. I have unfortunately never seen her perform live. We have had many successful female singer songwriters. Big names include of course, Sarah McLaughlin, Jann Arden. My favourite voice out of all them (l am biased because of my ridiculously low voice) is Amanda Marshall.

[@loverofbeautifulthings]

Such a perfect video. I needed this so much. Thank you, Jack!

[@knitnpaint]

Jack. This is such an amazing message. This is helping me soooo much. I don't know how to thank you enough for making your videos. THANK YOU !!!!!!!!!! I am watching it for the second time and plan to work it. Got my journal handy. ❤💋❤

[@inspirationsbyheather4319]

I am in the middle of this right now..And the message is clear. because that's exactly what I am experiencing. I'm seeing just that take place. I'm letting go for my own happiness. Cause I do deserve nothing but the best..Its funny how life or the universe is trying to tell you to move on let go..cause something better is coming. You just have to empty it out the bad for something better way better to come through.

[@thejackbutler]

Yes, in my expc, you do have to let go of things (sometimes including things which are partially good) in order for better / more real things to come through. 🙏

[@inspirationsbyheather4319]

@@thejackbutler That's where I am stuck..Thinking maybe something will turn around. but not if its false or just there just giving you what you want to hear not the actual truth..People must think we are so naive and we don't see the truth.

[@inspirationsbyheather4319]

Still letting go. It's tough. Cause a person believes something good can come out of all circumstances. Believe it even if i don't see it. Something good will happen or else. I'm gonna mad haha.. lol

[@thejackbutler]

@@inspirationsbyheather4319 I think that's right. Sometimes the paradox may be 'how can I trust (life) even when I don't see the good something that may be happening' 🙏

[@inspirationsbyheather4319]

@@thejackbutler it's just frustrating. Trying to stay peaceful under pressure it's just a challenge. 😂

[@nikstar1313]

Great video as usual Jack, you are so amazing - I hope you realise how epic your content is!

[@gemmapayne3225]

I cant tell you how helpful this is (okay maybe I can- it's extremely helpful). Thank you xx

[@Beingkindisfree]

Your videos are so helpful. Thank you!

[@Yvette.T]

Whether you pronounce it "reality" or "realidy" I'll still watch 😄 I'd subscribe a million times if I could

[@PosLifeHypnosis]

Thank you! This is helpful.

[@thejackbutler]

Yay, glad it was a help to you :)

[@Marcomms123456]

Thank you Jack -love your videos you seem to understand our innermost feelingsx

[@thejackbutler]

You're welcome :) Glad they are touching you at that level 🙏

[@mckennacreative6133]

So much to unravel here!! Love it!! Now how do I “do the work”?

[@thejackbutler]

Check out Enneagram 2. Start owning the experience I feel unwanted/unloved, befriend in and practise loving yourself in it

[@mabrigen]

great great content

[@thejackbutler]

Thank you thank you!

[@claudiaprieto5650]

Thanks Jack for helping me so much. God bless You!!

[@cecileonard8201]

Almost like you know me. Thank you.

[@thejackbutler]

Happy it felt so relevant to you

[@SkyePhoenix]

At 55 years old, I've been through so much in my life. I'm grateful that the last guy didn't want me. He wasn't right for me, and it wouldn't have worked out anyway. I do think that these feelings of being unwanted and unloved go way back to my childhood. How do I resolve these issues?? I think subconsciously I do go after men who are unavailable to me in some way.

[@thejackbutler]

The short answer could be something like - where you would historically look for someone to love you, you learn to love on yourself. Or another way of looking at that - the ways you love and care for others, can you do that for yourself?

[@SkyePhoenix]

@@thejackbutler I don't know how to do that.

[@thejackbutler]

J.S. Phoenix It’s totally ok not to know how. If you want to learn it, focus on the intention/desire and over time you will probably start to learn and attract the right learning opportunities

[@leilanib5040]

Love this! Thanks Jack!

[@thejackbutler]

Leilani B You’re welcome!

[@ebb.D]

Great Video Jack ..Some harsh Truths in there ! All good if a person is willing to work on themselves.. (Love yourself) by Louise Hay is great book.. Jack spot on as usual, love your videos love the depths you go to.. 👏

[@thejackbutler]

I haven't read that book but have been exposed to a lot of Louise Hay through the years and appreciate her work 🙏 Thanks for the feedback!

[@Babygirllivecam]

No bc nobody Actually loves me not even family or parents

[@thejackbutler]

Sorry you're having that experience :( Sometimes parents may be trying to love (alongside other things which aren't love) in ways that it's hard to feel. No child typically makes it to adulthood without some love from someone along the way, given how helpless little human are

[@Artsylady2030]

@@thejackbutler some parents don't know how to love. they may give materially but can't give emotionally

[@mariposa4215]

Excellent reminder 🙏🙏

[@thejackbutler]

Yay Mariposa 🙏

[@trinity0529]

Lovely video so helpful!

[@thejackbutler]

Hey Trinity! That's cool to hear - thnx :)

[@ElizabetaDante]

Hola Jack !

[@thejackbutler]

Hola Niki, what's up?

[@ThatzMzMJ]

Great advice. Thank you.

[@katechopin6698]

Jack could you make a video on available men and why women jeopardise potential ?

[@thejackbutler]

Ooh interesting topic. Like why women don't progress things when they find an available man?

[@katechopin6698]

Yes , i think you have mentioned in previous videos that there is to some extent unsexiness about it I am dating available men but what gets in the way is that feeling of wanting more.

[@Willowgrey31]

Excellent video.

[@thejackbutler]

Thanks Coleen!

[@harpernoel3348]

You are brilliant!! Thank you!!

[@lynnt9717]

My fav video so far ♥️

[@thejackbutler]

Great to hear - thanks 🙏

[@looslaura1]

Funny I'm full circle here watching the same videos all over again. I'm not defeated no way

[@dawnacoxon3111]

So what if you do have that wounded attachment style. And because of it you actually caused the distancing. And because there was a connection he comes back but then he’s a little guarded and at the moment you’re still untrusting of love? You part ways. And you’re having a hard time forgetting this person. What to do? He no longer seems open or trusting that there has been a definite change within me. Three years of deep diving.

[@taniatanner7483]

Jack thank you again for helping me to know myself and to understand how I need to self improve myself and it's about now time to do that and to change how I view things and accept that the it is unfamiliar and prefast challenging; Jack thanks again for the good and need it videos that you are kind to put for Us, I would not know that if you have not been explaining in this video and yes I have to relearned that the unavailable man can not be able to satisfy all my needs because we have different needs and the I need to be open to the unfamiliar with a better understanding of myself and the other person thank you Jack very much for pointing that out in the time of need GOD BLESS YOU Jack Butler 💛✝️

[@leahc8347]

How do I know that your investing enough, even taking it slowly and all, that the suddenly dump you, no matter how much I invest and try? How can I trust this isnt going to keep repeating. Still feeling the pain of loss and heartbreak, and it seems it was easy for him to move on?... :( Yeah, its not fair. 💔 Yeah, my inner critic , because of experience and repeated feedback, proving reasons that people believe quite often about me... But I know I should be lovable because I try being good and try not to upset people and try being genuine ... How do I figure out who is the right guy and available? Im not used to being loved and people staying generally? 🤷‍♀️ How do I do work on unrequited love interest. But that wasnt apparent at the beggining.

[@OShaughnessyC]

Brilliant!

[@CorporateQueen]

Thanks Jack.

[@thejackbutler]

🙏

[@thejackbutler]

@@CorporateQueen Wishing you ease in the transition and trusting its for your highest path. tread gently with yourself 🙏

[@thejackbutler]

RollingPanda 🙏

[@marciamellow1211]

Your so BRILLIANT...LOVE

[@thejackbutler]

Marcia mellow Aww thanks 🌟🙏

[@katiekitter2920]

You and Helena Hart are such Experts!!! I like binge watched both of you & love how you two teach. This can potentially heal childhood trauma annnnnd relating relationship dynamic- patterns? together = OmG a Profound service you both are doing for society!!! I hope one day they teach this in school. I mean why not?

[@marleansk1079]

It is devastating...! I'm more upset with myself....A narcissist seems to take others for granted like they are going to be here forever for them; . There is something I really miss you and Clayton could see.... it is under Lauren Daigle's video of " you say" where she is a (puppet).... this is what's going on through the telephone.... My Yahoo account was shut down by someone other than me...yes, giving your power awwway....Yes, lingering heartache from Family and relationships; I agree! Re-living is not good... Thank you so much...Thank You #JackButler....

[@tranquiltraveler6979]

But why would he say one thing. I am open to loving you. My heart is in the right place trust me. And then seem to fade away???

[@sakinamaryamkarim3567]

Cuz he is trying to be emotionally available in the midst of his insecurities and hurt that he hasn't really gotten over. My associate, he is going through the same thing and I admonished him and told him that he really needs to be alone and work on himself. He says he can't fully trust women because of how much they hurt him.

[@tranquiltraveler6979]

@@sakinamaryamkarim3567 Thank you. Any suggestions? Just leave it be and move on?

[@thejackbutler]

I realize how hard that can be. Sometimes guys don't fully know what they're available for or what is really in their heart. Sometimes you can provoke strong feelings in them - which may not be the same as it being right for them to be more committed.

[@thejackbutler]

@@tranquiltraveler6979 If a guy has faded away, yes generally I would recommend moving on.

[@tranquiltraveler6979]

@@thejackbutler Thank you Jack. Yes we went from texting and calling 2 times a day to texting every 2 days or so. I let him take the lead and respond when and if he texts. Thank you again!

[@connierempala1269]

It's kind of funny that the person I'm trying to get off my mind is named Jack. 🤪

[@dotsonms]

Can I just marry you and call it done? Lol, I'm kidding, the content is fantastic!

[@thejackbutler]

Suzanne Dotson Ha, thanks for the feedback! 🙏