Why Friends Will Always Disappoint You

Welcome back to Under the Influence! In today's episode, We discuss if people can really be Ride or Dies, The Difference between male and female friendships, and if certain ICKS are valid or not.
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Timecodes (Episode #145):
00:00 - Intro
00:21 - Skip Intro
01:46 - Viets New Pickup Line
04:28 - The Eye Color Procedure
12:01 - Harry Potter Type Spells
20:13 - Wootaks Heartbreak
23:47 - Ride Or Dies
42:36 - Brothers Should Never Fight
52:31 - Worst Friend Breakups
1:03:47 - Getting Cast For An "Ugly" Role
1:06:41 - Actual Valid Icks
1:32:40 - Backup Partners
1:52:08 - What's the worst thing you can catch your girl doing with her work husband?
1:55:29 - Can you tell if a man is a baby talker?
2:01:07 - What instruments are we?
2:08:25 - Bad People: The Game
2:12:36 - Outro
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[@bae3185]

a 5th host will be TOO MUCH I think, just keep growing your podcast the 4 of you

[@Cloudfive55]

Just have more female guests.

[@MariahAims]

⁠@@lilsaucinEsther does contribute though… she garners a female audience. A lot of women like myself stayed because of Esther, so this comment doesn’t make sense… if it was just the 3 of them or a 4th male, their audience would be way different and a bit more toxic. Same thing applies for SuburbTalks if they didn’t have women apart of their cast, then the audience would be less and way different. They’re wide spread and seen as diverse and open because of this which is a good thing.

[@frostie4972]

I feel like a 5th (female) host is needed because Esther seems left out or interrupted most of the time. Not only does a another female diversify the group, she would also create a better environment and kinda even out the playing field. IMO, Esther kinda gets treated like a plus one to a party they weren’t invited to. Her and Jeremy’s relationship debut only solidified this idea.

[@juandeloera9924]

@@lilsaucin bro esther is funny as hell wtf are you talking about

[@NatashasWonderland]

Ester is hilarious and brings a lot to the convo. I watched a couple episodes before her and wasn’t interested until she joined. Y’all are trippin.

[@RocShabazz]

To Esther’s point, a lot of male friendships seem to lack DEPTH, so a lot of guys will be friends for years but barely remember a birthday. Also, not just cuz of patriarchal standards, but remember plenty of dudes are brought up to NOT CARE about plenty of aspects in life and hide their emotions, so plenty of guys just don’t really care about shii with friends, especially how girls do. Girls are ALLOWED to really care about each other and people and hold their friends to standards.

[@Zencba]

I think its the masculine mindset

[@jnightmare0]

@@Zencbait’s more of a learned thing, I’m sure a lot of guys can relate but being a kid crying and then getting beat by parents for crying as a boy

[@Zencba]

You right@@jnightmare0

[@nabo20]

yes you can argue that men have more long-term friendships but you can also argue that it’s cause they don’t really know their boy like that. Under that same TikTok conversation are men talking about how they literally don’t know they’re best friends birthday or that they have a sister. It’s easier to have long-term friendships when you don’t know the dude lol. therefore, when they have arguments, it’s never that deep because they relationship isn’t that deep. But if women have arguments because they KNOW know their friend it usually cuts very deep

[@lightprocessor]

i guess but also its true that familiarity breeds contempt like we're not built to be that familiar with people in general

[@jomanyvillarreal2182]

i can understand that and maybe for some guys that’s true but personally me and my friends all know very personal things about each other and have had deep conversations over the years and i haven’t ever met a man who really didn’t know how their friends basic information

[@RanbirSingh-zq3to]

Yeah I see your logic but I firmly disagree. I think that’s a bit of a TV stereotype view of men’s friendships. Birthdays and stuff like that are just not important to us. But when it comes to your boys from a long time you are usually each other’s therapist in the sense. I might not know your birthday but I know every girl you ever talked to, everytime you had your heart broken, almost every struggle you went through family wise or work life wise. I was at their house every day for a month when their father passed helping through the emotions, etc etc. But yeah I don’t remember their birthdays off the top of my head so I guess we aren’t really that close actually.

[@versaii5519]

@@lightprocessor I wouldn’t say that’s true. It’s working through things you don’t like about people you’re close to that build maturity, but I would agree in reality it’s not good to be super familiar with so many people because you’re bound to run into one too many things you don’t like about them.

[@vkxxw]

I don’t necessarily think that’s true. For example my brother has been friends with his best friend for about 14 years now and they know everything about each other and are ride or die. Even now after high school that they have less time to see each other and hang out like before, have their long-term girlfriends, and even new friends they still very much so are close af and continue sharing almost everything with each other. Sometimes they seem even closer than me and my long term best friend although we’re both girls and solid.

[@user-ru9yr1lh5c]

I think adding a 5th host would not be a good idea. Just cus of the fact that with just the four of you constantly cutting each other off and never letting each other finish what one says, adding a 5th would make this issue even worse. I think Esther is perfectly capable of holding her own and I’m proud of her for being able to stand on her opinions and not let herself get stepped on by the male cast. It’s great that all of you are outspoken but it’s frustrating when one cuts off another bcus i wanna hear the full thought of the person speaking. Sometimes you gotta let that pride go for the sake of a good podcast episode and if you really wanna speak your opinion then let the other person finish first 😭😭

[@debbie3375]

I agree, facts it gets a little frustrating

[@sammylonglegs1662]

LMAO

[@ZoeyIsMuhName]

the reason women’s friendships don’t seem to last, or end over seemingly minor reasons, is because women are typically extremely vulnerable with their friends. comparatively it doesn’t seem like men are nearly as vulnerable with their friends. when a girl friend does something disrespectful or hurtful, it feels like a massive betrayal that is practically impossible to come back from. if it was something trivial 9/10 that is just the straw that broke the camel’s back. (imo it’s not that woman or men are innately this way in platonic relationships, but more so to do with how boys and girls are socialized) this is not to say one dynamic is better than the other. the women’s friendship structure often leads to women having fewer friends, and the men’s structure can lead to them remaining loyal to questionable individuals. i think the best scenario is to have a balance. have a core 1-3 folks that you can truly be vulnerable with, and 3+ light hearted friendships where you trust them enough not to fuck you over but not close enough to share your deepest darkest secrets.

[@marionnemunoz]

PREACH!!!

[@VarietyNicole]

That’s true and a good point. I have a few long-term best friends and several long-term close friends. I have only truly ended one friendship with someone I knew since kindergarten because all the behaviors that were occurring for years and me getting to the point in my maturity to not stand for it anymore. And honestly the whole friend group distanced ourselves from her until she started working on herself with therapy and maturity. We all cool now but definitely not as close as we used to be.

[@NotVeryAmusing]

Jeremy’s fit is sending me 🤣

[@yoyosssss]

Sending you where

[@cyb0rgcow]

he just got drip like that 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@DopeyySaeSae]

His fit is literally my dads wardrobe lol

[@kaylavngo]

jeremy is such a ukulele to me😭

[@hayc2399]

one reason why I like the podcast is these discussions. I think the way Esther feels about ride or die comes from traumatic experiences of disappointment, which is very valid because it just seems to me a typical survival mode, to simply not give yourself entirely anymore because you've been hurt too much. to me the correct answer is that true friendship is that you will do anything to protect your friend AND yourself, as I don't believe "hurting" yourself is a thing your friend would want anyway.

[@aik0sm0m_]

this comment ate me up fr bc I was thinking the same way as Esther 😣 a very ‘at the end of the day all u got is yourself’ kind of mentality 🧍🏽‍♀️

[@sparkyboomboomboi7051]

@@aik0sm0m_sameeee

[@VarietyNicole]

Gotta disagree with Wootak I have friends and best friends from Kindergarten, 3rd grade, 6th grade and college (2004). And we been through hard times, crazy situations, living in different states and have had deep convos along the way but still going strong! ❤

[@jomanyvillarreal2182]

i mean he is talking in general and there’s absolutely gonna be acceptions to the idea but for the most part i’d say he is right, it’s the same way a lot of people say guys don’t know the basics of each other but personally i know a lot about my guy friends and we have had deep conversations but that’s again is likely more of an acception to the normal situation

[@rene3759]

No he is wrong girls do have long term friends. If you go look at old women or women in old age homes or just ask nurses who work with old people. Women or rather old women have better support systems and people that take care of them in old age which are mostly if not only other women, that 's not the case for old men. Because women will nurture each other. Like men might die for each other but women actually take care of each other even life long. And it's not an exception. Because you have different layers of friends and different levels of closeness. I have never seen old men taking care of each other in old age not matter how long they were friends the way I have seen old women have regardless of how long they know each other. I'd more argue that women have each others backs in a way that men don't do for each other. Like my friend stayed over at my place once and cooked and cleaned for me when i was sick. My other friend was hospitalised and i went to her classess and took notes for her an kept her place clean and ran arrends for her. When i was little my mom used to let us stay at her besfriends house for weeks at a time when she was very busy with her company. Like women will raise each others kids for each other ( you need to be intimatlely close to be able to do that) and men will have each others backs in immediate life or death scenarios or financially, you dont really need to now everything about that person but need to know they wont screw you over to some degree.@@jomanyvillarreal2182

[@juandeloera9924]

​@rene3759 bro most men die at like 60 thats why you don't see that lol

[@schnitzelthoughts2515]

Me, too sis. I have friends from pre-k, fifth grade, high school, college... I have friends I met while traveling that I am still in close contact with years later. It really just depends on the people and how healthy the relationships are.

[@VarietyNicole]

@@schnitzelthoughts2515 I agree! It truly depends on the healthiness of the relationship and the individual. I’m fortunate to have friends and met people throughout my life (even up to 3 years ago) that will work through the hard times with you. I have other theories to this as well but I’m not going to open that can of chaos lol

[@bonjoursophie]

"A buncha goldfish trying to have a podcast" PERFECT DESCRIPTION of this beautiful chaotic mess

[@lazzi2462]

As a guy, I think the way Wootak & Viet are thinking about "Ride or Die" is stupid. Jeremy brought up a good point when he asked "What if your friend is constantly getting into fights?" That's an issue right there. I'd understand if the scenario was like a mass shooter situation or a random attack happens to your friend & you step in to take the damage, but like Jeremy said, if your friend is constantly the issue, who's getting into fights all the time, then you need to talk to your friend about that or just cut them off eventually. In our friend group, we have a friend who sometimes gets mad when drinking, one of those wild drunks who takes things the wrong way a lot while drunk. He got into a big fight at the end of last year, so recently during a hangout, our friend group confronted him about these issues he be having whenever he's drinking. One of my friends brought up some great points, he said "When you do these things, of course we're going to jump in, but you gotta realize that we all have families, loved ones, some even have kids, etc. If you get into it with the wrong person, & they end up killing us, that's not something we should be putting our families through because of some thing you did wrong. So 2024 needs to be a year of growth for you."

[@lazzi2462]

@@MellowSquishy I've only started watching this podcast this past Fall I think. Just heard about them from watching Jimmy Zhang. Lol

[@elsyalonzo2436]

In viet’s defense I low key get entertained seeing what the snack he is eating is 😂

[@anarchistsalute]

You're really entertained by that?

[@IsabelLopez-ow2th]

Yeah 5 hosts would be overkill but when y’all bring in guests it keeps things exciting .. I would like to see more guest pods

[@RocShabazz]

Also about the loner section, I’ve met several people that come off as loners because those around them misunderstand them. So, yes, they’re the “problem” but not in the traditional way you would think. People could just have the wrong idea of you and misconstrue things with you.

[@anaismontoya7]

Yall it just hit me i get why i love this podcast the philosophy/theories yall talk about are interesting and important

[@DopeyySaeSae]

😂 I love that everyone kinda just threw on whatever because it’s bedtime but PODCAST comes first! Love ya.

[@alyshaabdullah06]

i have a big exam coming up but let me watch 2 hours of these people talking real quick

[@ken9922]

men’s friendships are sooo surface level

[@cash7626]

nah we just value different things

[@zangetsu6996]

Some men yeah but not all :) Many men have very deep and caring relationships with their friends, including myself, and would do anything to see them live a happy and fulfilled life.

[@_Ash0099]

@@zangetsu6996 That's amazing and I'm glad you can have that experience.

[@Myhalamanz]

@@cash7626Ya like surface level things

[@ItzNiyuhhh]

Right! Did you see Viets and Woos' fist bumbs titty eating🙂

[@bayboy9253]

Always the best way to start the weekend

[@helpineedwater8192]

nah keep it 4 yall got the chemistry already 🔥🔥keep it up 🤟

[@morganlori9743]

Ngl I get both Esther and Wootak/Viets perspective when it comes to ride or dies. I really think it depends on the person, because behind my grandma, mom n sisters, I'm on go 100% whether I make it out alive or not. It's not the same w some other family members of mine and as bad as it sounds that's just what it is.

[@vyspeeds]

I feel that. I would want to protect my most loved but it doesn’t make logical sense for the younger to sacrifice themselves for the ones who have lived their lives. But I feel like it makes more sense for me to die for someone younger than me or similar age

[@CamyasCreation]

People who read the Harry Potter books have always read them all a million times and never fail to mention it 💀

[@shamaIndia]

Harp girl 🤣🤣🤣🤣🎶❤ you guys are wow woww woww! Just you 4 are killing it 🎉

[@LumShiesty]

Loving the podcast, been listening since October ‘23 and I’ve listened to all episodes already 😂 Been binging it out like crazy

[@Darlingartee]

I swear the intros get me so excited for the video ❤

[@versaii5519]

bro just bc wootak disagreed with esther let me make this clear…you absolutely CAN use someone for their body for some validation or something EVEN IF you tell them straight up what you’re doing. Even if they know it doesn’t change the fact that you’re using them…even if they’re okay with it. It has nothing to do with morality if that’s what anyone’s concerned with

[@sillykaivlogz]

Lmaoo the fake ending took me out😂

[@munaosman7563]

Love this podcast❤❤❤

[@elaine378]

I love this podcast so much 😭😭

[@gogigyorl]

Before you guys cut off Esther’s point about ride or dies in relationships, I understand the sentiment that “ride or die” stems from women’s stupid lvl of loyalty to their boyfriends! It’s literally a term that meant the girl would do ANYTHING to save their boyfriend regardless of whether it’s a situation the male put himself in. If a male is careless enough to put his loved ones in a ride or die position, they are as feminine as they come😂 STRUGGLE LOVE is a thing of the past, if males wanna continue generational curses by making stupid choices..BYE✋😭 let them 🪦

[@Sainte-adresse]

PERIOD!

[@blakejohnson232]

Def investing, I believe in the hard work 🙌🏽

[@annaweeves]

I live for this podcast

[@hadzeragherbi9868]

When Viet said his pick up line it made burst out laughing. I wasn't expecting that lol 😂 😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@sumoelment]

In my opinion, it would be fair to balance the cast with an additional female. I admire Esther, because she holds her own. She’s very much in tune with her masculine side, yet still carries her feminine side quite well. Maybe it’s just me, but I get hurt on her behalf sometimes in a subtle way. Overall, I love the unity and friendship. 🤩🥰

[@lamma746]

If they get a female guest, ima need her to be confident, intelligent, and have different opinions from the main cast. I can’t take another stubborn or loud & wrong person. They have a decent balance right now. I doubt they need another person. If anything I MISS Brando. He might not be a girl, but he’s well spoken and adds a different perspective while remaining calm and respectful.

[@paris4234]

@@lamma746Brando was the voice of reason frrr , yeah someone more in tune with their type 2 thinking would balance the cast out a bit more

[@sumoelment]

@@lamma746 then the interview process must be diligent. I agree with your requirements. Then again, Esther has her own channel.

[@Joceween]

Love the Teddy Fresh hoodie viet has on ❤🐻

[@schnitzelthoughts2515]

I think a 5th host would be way too much, personally. But if you do choose a fifth, it would be interesting to see how it works.

[@aK.theGREAT]

I saw 2 HOURS, and im like hell yeah.

[@raysaif7235]

Love your guys videos I have been binging them for dayssss ❤❤❤❤❤ Also love your guyss fits really fire ❤ 🔥 You to Jeramy 😊 🎩

[@barchemistry]

stop LYING

[@raysaif7235]

@@barchemistry you caught me just don’t tell Jeramy 🥸

[@raysaif7235]

@@barchemistry fine you caught me just don’t tell Jeramy 🥸 Don’t want him to think he’s the most bullied out off all u guys like fr does he watch the podcast 😂 I’m just kidding have a nice day you guys ⭐️ U to Jeramy 😅

[@ItzNiyuhhh]

Woo shouldn't taken back on the birthday seggs, realistically anybody would want

[@cynthiamuniz9714]

Viet is for sure the electric guitar, Wootak is a Saxophone or Bass , Jeromy is an acoustic guitar and Esther is the keyboard. ✨

[@ken9922]

TWO HOUR POD LETS GO

[@saiyah3371]

esther just twirling jeremys hair is sending me

[@ikathrynn]

perfect timing :)

[@JonathanAlessandro]

Just finished this episode on spotify now I’m rewatching it at KZbin

[@briseydigonzalez9868]

I have 4 friends I been friends with for 10-15 yrs so not always true. You just gotta pick the right friends ❤

[@jokesonu999]

i think you guys should do nectar energy drinks with the flavors that you have for regular nectar for all the people that can’t drink yet lol 😂

[@tunsofjunk]

Awww watching the outro I miss the old podcast set sm

[@Ckfishing1]

Great podcast!

[@raejarms]

Wootak dressing like a Kpop star ✨

[@69exp]

You guys shouldve used the scenario for the ride or die where.. if a plane was gonna crash and there was only 1 parachute whos gonna take it 😂

[@tseringchodon4210]

Viet has become healthier It's good He is glowing today

[@alexare6655]

He gained weight.

[@c.6818]

personality: I'm an electric guitar gal with a heart like a harp, who plays hand-pan on the weekends, but can appreciate a good violin solo

[@saget4501]

I love y’all I’ve watched every video like 3 times I get so happy when you post !

[@carolinamar0601]

i love the dynamic of the four of them so much but if they did get a fifth host vereena would be such a cool addition!!

[@munaosman7563]

Fannita should be a female host, she's hilarious

[@diamondm4087]

you’re should invite fannita As a guest host😊

[@spacekid6785]

I think it is funny that Esther says her opinions or what she did in the past. Wootak will judge or press her; she will try to explain her statement to make it sound like she knows she was right in the first place.

[@davidrodriguez4054]

Best part of my drives

[@missashleylon]

Nahhhh Esther tryna be a “harp” SENT MEEEE 🤣🤣

[@23AES]

22:16 Sorry, but this conversation is hilarious 🤣

[@versaii5519]

wootak and dannie? that’s crazzyyyyy

[@vipmonicake]

He likes them older

[@giselerex6244]

What’s her insta?

[@MaeilYogurt]

if u add a 5th host then yall reaaaallly need to stop cutting each other off mid-explanation. bonus content was super juicy btw lmao

[@UnderTheInfluenceShow]

🤫🤫🤫🤫

[@user-pm6hm6qw7q]

My opinion is the same as Esther’s and I think the ride or die life isn’t for me. I am too selfish even for my mom and family I always consider what I have to lose. Wootak also seems to get heated real quick when anyone disagrees with his opinion or offends him.

[@sof5611]

50:33 this was lowk so eye opening for me

[@Mr.Llaves]

Top Ramen G top tier😂😂😂

[@ayyanabdullahyasmin]

Viet's hoodie looks comfy

[@AnxiousAquarius]

I read this and then looked back and it was off lol

[@ona1691]

Viet looks so much more healthy, his skin is more vibrant, he is smiling more! Yay❤️🥹

[@rachelwoodie1795]

This is another important reason Esther needs another woman on the Podcast, Stand on that sh*t girl! 👸🏽💪🏽 icks differ person to person. Everyone and anyone’s “ick” is validate-able. Also both perspectives can happen when asking someone to bring food over to their casa. 😎

[@dafneandbanana]

Underworld is tooo fkn good 🤣😭

[@4jairus]

I enjoyed the intro.

[@rainecare]

Jeremy's a banjo 🪕

[@Manisonlychannel]

Jeremey is such an ahjussi 🤣🤣🤣 the leg above the thigh then randomly filming them while filming he could literally be a meme

[@AliyahSky3]

Who has been complaining about eating and munching on the pod, don't y'all appreciate an extra bonus of some ASMR.

[@MaeilYogurt]

I dont lmao. Especially if they’re talking and eating at the same time

[@AliyahSky3]

I mean you could barely hear a thing,it's different when your watching them.

[@MaeilYogurt]

i watch the podcast. one ep they were straight passing gum around. im listening for advice n fun stories, not lip smacking haha@@AliyahSky3

[@rachelwoodie1795]

I just wanted to point out that it isn’t true that only men have that protective aspect about women and children. I’m a woman and I will put myself between danger and innocent / vulnerable individual. Culture and one’s upbringing has a part. ❤❤ y’all are amazing!

[@jamietantan8256]

Nooooo yall dont need a 5th host!! I love the vibe with just you 4. 5 would just be too much

[@boyzstan8188]

Im waiting for the pink bar chemistry sets to come back in stock

[@GoodKyn]

THE BEST STORY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, WELL GOING TO SIGN UP

[@frostie4972]

Meister Cameramaaaan 🤩📸

[@tloes]

Jeremy is the only man who could rock that hat with camouflage

[@aireegoings1247]

Jeremy and Esther are so cute 😭

[@keithgonzales7227]

Just driving home and I heared Viet say something…. Had to rewind it a couple of times and think who I’d say that to just for their reaction

[@jxxxvii]

CLARINET 😂😂😂

[@uhhhvictor]

1:37 i love almond peanut butter pickle sandwiches

[@torenhargesheimer1820]

"Meisterrrr vieeeet traaaup"

[@0cto.p134]

Viet eating is more polite and asmr like he pulls out the most random etticacy

[@thientran5389]

Aye ngl, I be forgetting to zip up my pants after the bathroom sometimes at work

[@CassandraL666]

If you’ve ever seen a mother grieve her child? EVER? I promise you. Not only does your mom not want that? You shouldn’t want that for her. Nothing will ever compare to the pain of a mother losing her baby. I’ve seen it first hand. Unable to get off the floor, sobbing for days, can’t even open her eyes, no motivation to live. So I stand on Esther’s side. Your ma doesn’t want to grieve you no matter how righteous you may have been.

[@Zencba]

Yeah they spent so many years raising you, not to sound F'ed up but if you think about it our parents have already lived their life, giving your life for them is illogical.

[@sparkyboomboomboi7051]

@@Zencbafr like not even trying to sound pissed but I know my mom would fucking HATE me deep down if I ever mentioned something so illogical as giving my life for her. But also on the flip side I’m expected to give my life for my little sister.

[@anaismontoya7]

The "ending" at 34:45 😂

[@taeminsgf4275]

The fedora😍😍

[@jaquelinemaldonado9645]

eerrr why is it that when viet starts talking a youtube therapy ad just cuts him off (happened to me twice already 😭)

[@paigemoloney]

Wootak right about the spiderman loner thing, and Andrew Garfield had hella rizz in that movie 😂 that’s why I guess the Tom Holland was a bit more accurate cos he at least had Ned

[@natashalopez7938]

wootak wearing the iconic Kpop shirt

[@909DGS]

Fun fact! I met and became good friends with Alex meraz (one of the wolves from twilight) at my first ayahuasca ceremony 🙏 such a cool dude 🐺 I'm not a team Jacob or Edward haha I'm team Paul! (He was the wolf that got slapped by Bella)

[@Youknowmikekhan]

The Pokémon music was a nice touch

[@studio_cw]

Jeremy: wrap the pole on the display to look like a giant nectar can 🤙

[@pamva5280]

2:02:58 Esther, I‘m cackling 😂

[@NatashasWonderland]

How dare you talk about twilight 😢 it’s a classic lmaooo

[@jalisad3941]

Ĥippie girl/guys hands down should be Didgeridoo 😂 Also, I agree with Esther, she is a saxophone all the way!

[@radiantphoenix3845]

A haegeum is a Korean instrument they should’ve did that one too 😂

[@raysaif7235]

Finallyyyy

[@kaylavngo]

esther trying to speak like a harp girl is kill me BAHAHAHAHHA