Why I don't trip anymore.... (For Now..)

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[@yourmatetom]

**WARNING: LONG BUT VERY IMPORTANT POST AHEAD** - The realest sh*t I’ve ever wrote ;) - This video was completely unscripted so there are probably a few things I could have expressed more effectively. This is just my thoughts on my personal psychedelic journey, and how I feel about certain things at this current moment in time. My views on psychedelics is coming from constantly returning especially when you don't integrate properly and aren't prepared enough. Of course there are people out there who can trip out recreationally and have fun, but it's when people act like this is fine for EVERYBODY that I have a problem with, since it can lead some people down a very dark path. Yes, I could have been more calculated, analytical and carefully placed my words defending my views, etc. but I don’t care about any of that. I’m not trying to convince anyone of anything. Yes, I may have came off ranty, heated and strong opinionated, but I wanted to show my raw thoughts and emotions during the recording of the video which will be interesting to come back to down the road and see how much (if at all) my opinions change. Another important thing I didn’t put in the video is that I don’t have a strong enough emotional, spiritual, and psychological foundation to get maximum benefits from psychedelics with minimal risk. This is not to say that I’m unstable or weak, in fact I’m the healthiest I’ve ever been in my life in all aspects. I just think it’s very difficult integrating a “death by astonishment” experience, especially after seeing what these drugs are capable of, i.e seeing the devil and the darkest depths of human suffering so to speak. Most of you will understand (I hope) about my life decisions and how this is just my current opinion, which will most likely change and evolve overtime. I am sure I will look back and cringe at a lot of what I said and how I said it, but that’s always the case with every video I create. Like Osho said “If you’re not contradicting yourself, you’re not growing”. So if I never want to be criticised or cringe about what I say, I should just stop expressing myself PERIOD and never put myself out there. So it’s part of the game, which I’m fine with. All I can do is learn from my past and make better decisions in the future, developing better foresight. Maybe a part of me is also trying to “weed out the crowd” a little bit, such as the hedonistic drug cultists who treat psychedelics way too lightly which ultimately do more damage to this movement (imo). They will probably feel the need to tell me they’re “unfollowing’ me because I don’t take recreational psychedelic drugs anymore and that this channel is "dead", which is perfectly fine. (I’m not a purist by any means, but psychedelics DEMAND RESPECT. And if you don’t show respect and do the work, they will most likely eventually “soul rape” you). I don’t judge ANYONE for who they are or their current lifestyle (especially given my background), but I do have a low tolerance for bs, especially when they spread irresponsible information that can cause harm to others (which I’m guilty of, hence my need to “atone” myself). I just need to lay out my cards out on the table, be brutally honest and express my true authentic self as much as possible, even if I appear to be an “asshole”. I am of course more than happy to hear constructive criticisms and listen to thoughts & opinions about something I may have missed, etc. I’m very open to that, and I’m okay with being wrong, in fact I EMBRACE it. This is what growing is all about, which I appreciate. But try and refrain yourself from verbally vomiting on the comment section just because your paradigms were challenged. If your beliefs have a strong foundation and you are grounded in who you are, my words will not affect you in anyway. I know some people who explore psychedelics frequently who live happy, healthy lives, yet this is very rare based on my observation. I’m not saying this to avoid negative comments (which is impossible), but to offer a perspective you may not have thought of before. There is way too much psychedelic trivialisation and dangerous misinformation out there. I could rant for hours on this topic and had to cut most of what I recorded, as there is A LOT to cover! At the end of the day it really comes down to your goals in life and what you want for yourself, which is going to be different for everybody, I can only speak for myself. I want long lasting peace/love/fulfillment which I believe psychedelics can never provide in the long run, at least for me. Besides, I have lifetimes worth of integration to do from past experiences. I don’t need to, yet again, overload my mind with information via a psychedelic drug. If anything, I’m actively trying to let go, be here now, be grounded and connected with my pure being and all that is, or LOVE as Ram Das would put it ;) And this of course is just my personal situation with my life, and there is a LONG way to go. And besides, it seems like the plants themselves told me to STAY THE FUCK AWAY, so it would be pretty stupid to return, right? At least for now... I’m actually at a really good place in my life, in terms of who I am, what I have and where I want to go, for the first time in my life. I have everything that I need. It has been an interesting journey so far (to say the least). I’ve been focusing on doing the real work, instead of “spiritually masturbating” and believing I’m doing the work. I’ve sparred in the inter-dimensional boxing ring long enough, but now it’s time for the real fight. Everyone knows when it’s their time. And this is mine… Alan Watts said it’s a message, McKenna said it’s an “endless conversation”. And this is precisely one of the reasons why I wish to stop. It’s an endless journey into an infinitely deep rabbit hole which can cause us to “chase the dragon” so to speak. And overtime, the risks outweigh the rewards. It really does take a special person to be able to truly handle continuously going back into the psychedelic space and gain practical results long term. And I found out the hard way that this is not me. It’s just not my path. This KZbin channel has especially made it hard for me to unidentify with psychedelics, which is one of the reasons I felt the urge to make this video. If I didn’t have a psychedelic channel, I would not have made this video or even care to share my view on this topic. Sure I could have waited, scripted the video and tiptoed around certain things so I don’t upset most people, but I like the idea of showing how I feel in the moment, even if this inevitably changes overtime. I really don’t care what people think, especially those who get offended by human words. I know that my true audience (God that sounds pretentious lol), even if they disagree with what I say, will at least UNDERSTAND where I’m coming from, and respect my decision. You don’t have to agree to understand, people seem to forget that. It’s called empathy lol. I know that this is a long rant but I felt it was necessary to extend an olive branch to what appears to be a sensitive topic. Which is ironic because it really shouldn’t be, but I guess every community has sensitive people who feel the deep need to defend their views :p. Like I said in the video, future content will be much better overtime because it will be more AUTHENTIC & REAL. Coming from a place of INSPIRATION not DESPERATION. So dw, more psychedelic content will happen! I just need to work out my financial situation first, so I can make more of this type of content lol. It may mean less views/subscribers but I couldn’t care less anymore, which is so LIBERATING. I mean of course I’m going to grow my brand and take views into consideration, but this will NOT fully dictate what content I make. Besides, I’m such an introvert that I feel really uncomfortable with the thought of so many people seeing my face lol. Being a KZbinr is one of the most egotistical jobs in the world, so I have to put THAT much more effort into staying humble and grounded in who I am and be connected to WHY I do what I do without straying off my path. I just want to create what I want, whenever I want. To be happy, fulfilled, free, peaceful and grounded in who I am, serving as many people as I can. Time to get the fuck over myself and realise it’s about others, NOT ME ME ME. It’s about focusing on improving other people’s lives, instead of just my own selfish goals. ANYWAYS…..Cheers for everything guys, none of this would be possible without the support. I’ve learnt so much on this psychedelic/KZbin journey so far which I realise was a stepping stone to get where I was always meant to be. Besides, there are so many other ways to “trip out” and have a psychedelic experience without drugs anyways. (E.g., Meditation, Wim Hof Method, Sweat lodging, lucid dreaming, isolation tanks, etc.) There’s still a long way to go, and a lot of reorganising, planning and most importantly EXECUTING to do, but as many of you guys know, life is a constant journey, and I couldn’t be happier with enjoying every step of the way. :) I’ll speak to you guys soon. Watch this space! Much Love, Tom P.S This does not mean I'm going to be "ultra serious" with making videos lol. I'm a trickster and like to have fun, so there will be silly videos as well as the more serious ones (like trip simulations, parodies, etc.). Feel free to contribute on Patreon, especially if you want to support future projects and see more documentaries & higher quality content. :) Patreon: www.patreon.com/user?u=3120234&ty=h Merch: teespring.com/stores/psychonaut-store

[@gnsis5000]

It all goes down to Quantum Mechanics!

[@timbeeker9595]

Go on , follow your path tom ! thats your decision not to trip and i wont unsubscribe. i 'll be waiting for you if you decide (not psychdelic content) to upload again. i hope you can find what you're looking for ! love from germany

[@yourmatetom]

Tim Beeker thank you Tim. I have already found what I'm looking for, which I had all along! It just took a few dark turns to realise that I have everything I need to be happy and fulfilled 😊

[@LarsCaesar]

truly our mate tom

[@alwayschanging5821]

You are doing well. Just take it slow. Maybe you've grown as much as you can at the moment. Well all have our limits. You clearly don't need to go any deeper down that rabbit hole. Stay safe man, peace.

[@lexort4204]

Tom its totally fine that your current stance is what it is. I also wanted to add that you need alan watts full quote to understand the context. Here it is "If you get the message, hang up the phone. For psychedelic drugs are simply instruments, like microscopes, telescopes, and telephones. The biologist does not sit with eye permanently glued to the microscope, he goes away and works on what he has seen."

[@seb5587]

Lexort 420 awesome quote.

[@lexort4204]

Sebastian Guerrero i think so as well lol. I just find it sad that alot of people only state the very beginning as i truly believe the full quote is necessary to understand the context. Alan Watts was a very wise man and we as a society would do well to pay heed to alot of what he has conveyed.

[@marcosluna7792]

I like that. I like the way Dennis McKenna put it though "it's not a damn answering machine" or in other words, it's not always the same phone call or message

[@lexort4204]

Marcos Luna ya i like Dennis McKenna's view on it as well. I think that is what Alan Watts was getting at, like the biologist doesnt just look through the microscope at one slide and then never touches it again. A biologist will use the microscope to look at many different slides just not all at once without understanding each individual slide first.

[@stavcho]

If psychedelics are tools that you use for work . Then I want to work from 9 to 5 everyday except for sunday . lol Otherwise fuck da matrix and 9 to 5 jobs :)

[@Tricksnipnn]

Exactly why i do not trip anymore.... Be careful and remember psychedelics are not party drugs!

[@AlexSciChannel]

Club drugs are worse tho are they not?

[@callum7473]

Alex SciChannel both can mess you up, just because one drug is worse doesn’t mean another drug is to be played about with

[@crucifyrobinhood]

It's all fun and games until you start writing the timewave software...

[@amphibeingmcshpongletron5026]

This is seriously fucking gold! I need to scrawl this across my bedroom wall or something lol.

[@rohanbradley]

Can someone get this tattooed already!!

[@AcidHead710]

This is great

[@vapepower9710]

some help me im new?

[@Foxdiesolid]

roflmfao omg dude u just tottaly won the internet lololol

[@tewtravelers9586]

I've said it here before, but... A couple months ago I had a family member take their own life while tripping on mushrooms. It can go wrong. If you feel you're done, then trust your instincts. Your intuition is probably right. Good luck on your continuing journey!

[@j-dmontreuil1437]

I love your honesty bro. I think that this is one of your best video so far. I think that it's VERY easy with psychedelics to forget that life is about enjoying the present moment because you may always look forward to the next psychedelic experience and this keeps you from living in the now. Big fan of you man, you changed my life.

[@Audible484]

Your thoughts are like echoes of what i've been thinking for a while bro. Such a refreshing thing to hear from someone else. I've not had an experience like your Iboga trip but I have had horrible experiences that left lasting effects. I've come close to making the same decision you have many times. Luckily none of my experiences have gone as dark as yours and that's probably because since the birth of my 3 year old i've only microdosed on occasion as well as a mild dmt trip. I have found a new comfort level with much smaller doses and much like Adam said in his comment for me personally "...the point is to forget again or just to feel the warmth of universal love..." and that's a great way to put it. I love being able to say hello again because i've gone to that place and in my experiences it's mostly been good for me....to go that far....but like I said since my 3 year old was born it was a huge eye opener...at least in the sense of...i don't want to be that far from her...or my other daughter or my wife and now i've found this innocent happiness in my family that just makes me less interested in going deep with psychedelics. idk bro but at the same time most these changes are recent in life and much like you i'm barely realizing alot. Refreshing to hear someone else say it...psychedelics aren't a joke..they are serious.....that's why I love weed so much lol much love from california brother! Peace! 👽✌

[@yourmatetom]

Hahaha yes I agree. I think I'll just stick with weed ;)

[@sphenoidjjj]

Isn't weed considered a psychedelic?

[@ThePhotoPerspective]

Audible484 people are wondering why I haven’t posted videos in a while. It’s because I am taking time off as I have felt I’ve been living in almost 2 worlds at one time and I need to focus back on this reality. Also KZbin is deleting my live experiences

[@ThePhotoPerspective]

Your Mate Tom crazy thing is weed has given me the worst psychotic trips I have ever had

[@dustindavidson900]

It's all the same reality. The only thing different is your perspective of reality. This is why they don't work for you guys. You focus too much on your videos while trying to heal yourselves. You are blind to the fact that there is only one reality and we all share it.

[@ptadisbander7959]

Also guys just realise all things change your mind. Every experience, aimlessly browsing facebook, the interwebs, exercise, drugs, sex, relationships, art, it all alters neurochemistry and neural patterns. Yes, if you take a psychedelic you will not be the same person you were before but that isn't always bad but sometimes it can be if it happens to be traumatic. This is a great video. I still massively enjoy psychedelics but yes I realise now as I get a bit older that they aren't sustainable and they haven't helped me as much as I thought they did however I don't regret my experiences thus far.

[@OpenMind3000]

Interesting view. I hope my trips won´t turn on me in the future :) Until now everything was great. For me it was like kind of the other way around. My most horrifying trip was my first one.^^

[@TS-kt3nf]

Hallo Simon :)

[@DavisSystems]

Hi Simon

[@BananaRama1312]

*For me it was kind of like the other way around ;)

[@OpenMind3000]

Inception thx

[@BananaRama1312]

kd ich feier deine videos, behalt den spaß und humor dabei im Auge :D

[@YoungBuddhaGotThatRemedy]

You gotta have balance for everything that’s one of the keys.

[@Knobsmacker]

You know Tom when I watched your last video on your channel Raw Spirituality it really had me doubting myself as I had a trip in nature planned about a week in advance and have been severely depressed for almost 4yrs now. In the past 3 and a bit years and I've had quite a few psychedelic trips and have constantly been gaining awareness and insight into my own condition. I use quite infrequently now (months between trips normally )but your video really did make me question my psychedelic use. However on that trip I came to the understanding that as long as you come into the experience with 100% genuine intentions you will be greeted wholeheartedly. It is still my belief that the more effort into daily spiritual practice and life one puts, the more one gets out of psychs and that people can piss around and ignore the same lessons over and over but it is possible to benefit greatly from frequent psychedelic use if you use with a genuine intention and healthy amount of respect. Much love Tom! Cheers!

[@danielhamilton6958]

Psychedelics take you from extreme to extreme. I think being sober and practicing meditation and prayer will help bring you to equilibrium.

[@suncat5160]

This was an awesome, brutally honest, modest and profound video, loved it. Maybe you could turn your energy and attention to mastering some mundane earthly bullshit like gardening or chess. The overwhelming impression i get is that your mind is still on intense cosmic stuff dude, which doesnt seem to be helping you. Maybe I'm wrong but you still seem pretty tense? Been through this and found that totally abandoning 'the experience' and focusing on really human stuff like chopping wood and feeding animals balanced me out. Practice activities that are based around selfless giving to an 'other' (person/pet/plant etc). I used to sweep my footpath, like I nurtured that path like a proud mother. Gotta stop thinking about yourself (thats what helped me). And on a side note, i reckon following the journey of someone actually PRACTISING what they've learnt via psychedelics would make really interesting videos, e.g. What kind of interesting things/changes reveal themselves when you start walking the walk. Megalove and mega respect brother, another really interesting video. Big thumbs up.

[@henrylovespies]

big up this message, doing something hands on and simple is so much more rewarding than a lot of people realise. I fucking love gardening, it's super relaxing and you can lose yourself in the simple action of just working and doing something physical and practical. Even if your mind does still dwell on cosmic questions gardening's a great time to think about stuff while you're working, and at the end of the day you've made banging garden for either you or a neighbour/friend/whoever to appreciate.

[@AlterEgoTrader]

Are you guys talking about being stuck in a trip reality?

[@Living_the_Highlight]

Last couple of times on comedown of acid I felt the urge to water the garden. Instead of how I normally water it with my pee. I felt guilty I was killing the plants with my toxic urine and felt the need to give back. It felt strangely satisfying and as if the air around me was already being purified with extra oxygen from the plant's gratitude.

[@henrylovespies]

"psychedelics are not as bad the mainstream says they are but they're nowhere near as good as psychonauts say they are" totally agree with that, I can see what psychonauts are on about but the way a lot of them put psychs up on a pedestal and treat them like some holy infallible being and say "if you have a bad trip is because you're doing it wrong" that's just so arrogant. It's their ego trying to make them feel like they're somehow better than others just because they can have a good time on a high dose of LSD. Admitting that there's a light and dark side to everything is a necessary step to take, moderation isn't always a bad thing.

[@idebok]

henrylovespies Ibogaine changed his life to the better so what's all this fuss about?

[@UnMotivated420]

i could discribe LSD as the most wonderfull thing or the most terrifying thing.

[@dandragon5015]

If you have a bad trip you are doing it wrong though, that's not to say it's your fault. It's to say that the experience was negative because you made it so through intention or not. Blaming the psychedelic is one of the best ways to hide from your inner demons, they show you yourself, nothing else, if you fear yourself then that's you, not the drug. Maybe psychedelics aren't for you but you kept trying, maybe you were reckless and did too much or too spontaneously, maybe you run from the truth and hold on to yourself in fear of, well yourself. Whatever reason your experience was negative, it was your ego labelling it as such and it happened because you did something wrong, if you did it right then it wouldn't have been negative. I'm not saying there isn't a dark side, I'm saying you create the dark side and sometimes that experience is something you need to go through to realise why you were wrong and learn how you can now live in the light :)

[@anthonyhooyer5225]

Tom you have been a huge part in the bettering of my life.. The way you talk about your experiences and how authentic you talk through them has been very reflective and healing for me in my experiences

[@ilmarguatelli2650]

Dude..! This is EXACTLY the video I needed 2C..!!! Mucho Gracias and good luck on your journey, till next time ;) Peace and Love and good happiness and stuff!

[@brooks4sythe626]

man... i had this experience the last few times tripped, and not a even a day later i came across this and your video about excentric depression. And it spoke more to me then any trip ever has. (of which ive had countless) Thank you man!

[@derrickguice5496]

Much respect Tom for this video it is a breath of fresh air. This maybe what's flowing in the corner of the zeitgeist.

[@suncat5160]

agreed

[@michaelk5824]

I recently had an awareness during an lsd trip which was basicly : "Hey dude, what are you doing in this state of mind again. You gotta reach a new point in life". Maybe I need to drop the phone for a while.

[@evanmay8145]

Hey Tom, I just wanted you to know that this is probably the most important thing to happen to you. I tripped for two years about thirty times, had two psychotic break downs, went to a mental institution for a month the whole nine yards. I still love and appreciate psychedelics and will interact with them later on, but i think that living the real life; Working, mediating, finding things you enjoy etc. is so important if your going to trip again. Laying a solid groundwork before entering these spaces makes it a lot easier to integrate and get its full value. Keep doing what your doing, and it will lead you great places!

[@PotatoVenom107]

Really good video bro, really changed my view on things, helped clear the air. I actually think changing your intention for your channel towards helping others would be a great move :) Hope you enjoy NZ as much as i do

[@Saifjadallah95]

I fucking love my mate Tom! I've been following your journey for a long time, but never left a comment. Just thought I'd get this off my CHEST! I FUCKING LOVE YOU MATE!

[@LoudSound14]

Exactly the same here man

[@mrt5921]

Ive been watching your videos for years, was tempted in trying these drugs myself but decided to view your journey to see if doing drugs helped u in the long term. So just know that your journey whilst also helping urself has helped others

[@2010RSHACKS]

You dont have to take psychedelics to "help" you... Psychedelics arent just a medicine. They have so many uses. Sometimes it's just fun to take them and go to a concert or chat with your friends. Using something like this for "help" is NOT a frequent occurrence. Most people take them for fun. Any kind of dose that *could* "help" you is going to be far from recreational and it's probably going to just scare you shitless. The things you see and hear and feel on psychedelics are indescribable with human language. I cannot recommend them enough solely for recreation.

[@shadowa753]

Good video, but I’m mostly just worried about you overdosing on hair gel.

[@yourmatetom]

StarrDust it was water lol

[@yongyea4147]

Waifumelon hair gel? never tried it... I'll do a search

[@sadiejackson5320]

😂😂

[@ZenPepperClub]

Word up

[@grantjones1948]

Really appreciate this vid. Been researching before doing my first trip, happy with life, all is good but curious having never done psychedelics. Glad to hear from someone who's not only glorifying it all. Best of luck in the rest of life Bro

[@chance6545]

I've been feeling the same way about psychedelics these past few months, honestly. At the very least, I need to take a long break before I trip again.

[@SavingSoulsMinistries]

agreed, on dxm close to half a decade ago i "accidentally" opened up my third eye before i even researched anything that had to do with it. I spiraled down a hole that was infinitely painful.... flashfoward to a year ago when i decided to trip again after extensive meditation and centralized grounding of my ego. I went into the astral realms and realized above anything else that psychadelics are a tool.... once you've achieved your purpose you have to put it down or risk being lost in the nether along the way. It took me four years to get back into the right state of mind so i resonate with your comment thoroughly

[@Christian-xo8hu]

Same. Had a psychotic break on mushrooms after a cocky dose in a crap setting. Thought I was in Hell and had already died; became trapped in infinity. Was an awful experience and not fun for those who witnessed it.

[@menikmati-ku3ms]

woah

[@dattagrace]

Love this video. Love this new you! A lot of what you said and are doing resonates with the path I have taken after a recent difficult psilocybin experience. Thank you for sharing everything with such honesty. I will come back to this video as a reminder whenever I lose track. Wish you all the successes on this new, grounded journey of life!

[@gracepetrova4091]

Wow thanks for making this video! It’s really important and helpful of you to be this open you’re definitely helping people by just sharing what you’re thinking so thanks and keep it up!

[@brendanbattaglia545]

I had a really fucked trip recently and watching this has really made me think. Love you ❤️

[@gogo311]

Why I don't trip anymore.... (The TRUTH) | *S01E20*

[@aqslayer19]

Hahahaha

[@yourmatetom]

gogo311 season finale lol

[@martinsachs3837]

might outrun the simpsons....

[@roadtoempowerment3316]

Alan Watts "hang up the phone when you get the message" Dennis Mckenna responding to this quote "no, these plants are teachers, you don't hang up the phone on your teacher there is a continuous dialogue."

[@yourmatetom]

You do when you've had more than you can chew lol. This could be a never-ending rabbit hole that not everybody is prepared for. Some people can continuously return and grow from the experience, others get fractured and damaged. Sometimes an experience can take a lifetime to fully integrate. It all depends on the individual and the situation. Different strokes for different folks ;)

[@aidanshearer691]

if you truly apply what you’ve learned and live by its message there will be no need to come back to these substances, other than just for a little brain boost that is. mr watts is correct in what he says because he states “hang up the phone WHEN you get the message” most people don’t get the message for a loooong time.

[@carlfrisen7705]

That was very raw and real. Love to see the genuineness and contemplation. Keep progressing, friend!

[@yourmatetom]

So I'm in New Zealand at the moment with my Canadian friend Adam :p haha. It's been EPIC so far! NZ is gorgeous and the weather is fantastic. I don't think Adam was prepared for the sun, the poor bastard got sun burnt on our hike today lol. We should come up with some pretty neat videos hopefully. If you wish to support this trip and future collabs such as these, consider pledging on Patreon and/or getting merch. Every bit of support really helps, especially continuing with bigger projects such as collaborations, documentaries, trip simulations, Vlogs, in-depth educational videos and other higher quality content. The video schedule will slow down for a little bit, especially in the coming weeks since I'm travelling, and need to focus on other things so I can continue doing this full time. Anyways, speak to you guys soon, have a good one! Much love, Tom Patreon: www.patreon.com/user?u=3120234&ty=h Merch: teespring.com/stores/psychonaut-store

[@fhjfhdgh]

This is a very important video, you discuss things that i have been thinking about for a while now in a very precise and accurate way. People really need to get off their psychedelic unicorn and admit that there are deep psychological implications involved when tripping, which can endanger your entire reality. And as you said, it really is like a cult of people clinging on to a belief system that they think will fix the world. I am in no way denying the benefits of psychedelic experiences, the way they can knock you out of your auto pilot mode and realize what is right in front you.... I guess the bottom line is, there has to be great respect and caution involved when dealing with these substances.

[@besideremoteshalott]

Ok, I may have gone insane, but just had a major deja vu that I have already seen that video of yours!

[@kren1252]

You opened my mind about psychedelics and life in general. For a guy who didnt try a psyhedelic yet and was only trying to get as much info as possible before actually taking it, this video is extremely important to me.

[@skrelentless]

KREN1 If you want to look deep into the negative side of psychedelics, this dude goes into great detail. www.dosenation.com/listing.php?smlid=8839

[@litgirlablaze3432]

I love your channel. Glad you’re creating more! I think you have some dark stuff and some things you aren’t addressing in your own mind. (Just like us all..fucked up stuff from childhood, fears, death, etc) Also, you’re a few years younger than me and I just wanted to say sometimes in these transformative years, we definitely change and we are no longer our younger selves and sometimes it’s hard that we want to be our simple younger more naive happier less jaded selves. It sucks but it’s part of growing up. Glad you came out the other side...you’re one of the strong ones!

[@FountainBeee]

Thank you for continuing to share your experience. I hope you are enjoying New Zealand.

[@therealnous2043]

You are the only psychedelic spiritual type KZbinr to acknowledge you are not a shaman who doesn’t know everything. These other guys are so deluded and have the biggest egos on the planet.

[@venus67venus]

TheReal Nous what about psychedsubstance? (Hmm I guess he's not really that spiritual, at least not on that channel)

[@rollsmooth2253]

Your wrong on that or they'd be having horrific experiences. Its people who arent egotistical that are having mostly good trips

[@peteaxe2067]

@@rollsmooth2253 not necessarily

[@rollsmooth2253]

@@peteaxe2067 its not up for debate, unless you have little to no experience with psychedelics

[@tword5687]

@@rollsmooth2253 you're egotistical if you think you have information that applies to how other people should live

[@brettnelson4923]

That last part in the jungle hit me, hard. You trip and you learn all this shit. But if you don’t integrate and change what you actually learned about you’ll just be stuck where you were. Anyways keep up the good work Tom👍🏻

[@baneenabood3648]

I related to this video so much. I’m so thankful for it! It truly helped thank you Tom!!

[@tamisonderbar8925]

I also have mixed feelings about psychedelics. Last summer I took DMT for the first time. I was into that self-finding trip and really thought "that's it, thats the shit!".. if you know what I mean ;)... also I never really had bad experiences with psychedelics, after taking it, I felt rebounded to Earth, Nature et cetera. But that DMT-Trip was one hella ride, it completely fucked me up. I don't know how I should describe it to you (traped in some kind of void-nothingness-terrifyng-vibes-aeon?), but I never felt so much fear in my entire life. Which after 1-2 weeks of the trip I developed psychodic break downs, I was fucking afraid of people could not stand near them, constantly thinking that everyone is evil and wanted to harm me. In that period of time I had no trust in humanity what so ever, constantly mistrust, full of horror, my thoughts were all negative and often stuck in a loop, also I looked/stared in everyones eye like I was searching for something but I don't know exactly for what. That was so horrifyng for me because my normal me is the complete opposite of all these things. I'm always optimistic, never down, full of energy, I could walk alone in the dark without ever crossing my mind fearfull thougts like someone could rape me etc. because I had such a good worldview and couldn't even imagine that someone could possibly do something bad... but yeah. Well now in february I'm starting to work again and since november my psychosis also gone away. But I kinda have the feeling that I'm not done with psychodelics, there is something I have to learn? gaine the insight? make sure about it? It's hard to describe, or maybe this are the poor thougts, of someone, how is drawn to psychedelics because of how you think you see reality and what belongs to it.. but you know maybe there is a reason why we are in this form/reality... The thing is I don't know if I should do psychedelics not because I don't wanted too, because I'm afraid I got stucked in this bad headspace again and have to take medication for ever(I'm not a fan of general/school medicine). Even tough I have my own little theory about mental illnes... hmm it's complicated. Well Tom, I think you should do your thing and whatever feels right to you... and if you don't do psychodelics anymore that's completely fine, I think most of use do it because we are constantly searching for something like if there is more to humanity? hehe, I will definetly watch your videos even without drug content, because I thing you have good world insights and there is always something to learn or get an input with ! xD Anyways thanks for reading^^' .. and sorry for my bad english, I am not a native speaker :) ... aaaahhh and have an amazing day/week/life ! xD

[@filipigabriel9886]

Hi. How do you fell now? I had a very intense/traumatic trip with shrooms last week and now I feel depressed and sometimes I fell like I am loosing my mind like I am loosing touch with reality. How did you get through your bad experience?

[@Dirtbiker463]

Only thing that matters is knowing when you need to hang up the phone. I went so heavy with psychs years ago that I could see taking the rest of my life to integrate the experiences and continue learning and realizing what life really is, on my own. Keep up the good work Tom.

[@jamesgarcia3677]

Good to see your journey, psychedelics still seem to beckon me. Used to trip frequently and have always felt spiritual side and had my share of aha moments. I'm quite older now and still consider opening up those doors in psychedelic ways. The key for me today is sober spiritual progress, it's a slow turning. The days are filled with many aha moments for which physical recovery is not required. Living without mind alternating substances is a real trip for this seeker! When we're ready the lessons come. Being sober minded I seem to have more resources to examine, reflect and even respond better. Peeling the layers off the ego maybe a main point of our journey. The way out of self-centered and delusional thinking for many is helping others. It's another way to have real joy, transcendence, and peace of mind.... I never wake up and say I wish I used a psych. last night! Joy comes in the morn when I just stay clean and grateful! Thanks Mate this video really helped me tonight! I used to think of myself as a researcher doing experiments on myself but many substances became a substitute for what I really needed. It's easy to forget how to feel comfortable and grow without chemicals. Hope you stay vigilant I think you've come a long way!

[@wtflolhahe]

You have grown so much as a person, human and a youtuber. Love it. Going to follow your channel 'till the end

[@-Oddish-]

I feel like you spoke directly to me and expressed so many of my exact thoughts, and reaffirmed some things I've wondered, thank you

[@brendancoughlan3487]

Hi Tom, So happy to have found your video. I had the almost the exact same 2nd ceremony ayahuasca experience as you. The out of control screaming, the fear I had broken my mind, the feeling of lonely eternity......you name it. Took me months to get back to some sort of normality again. Like you I had awoken deep rooted fears within my psyche. Waves of horrific anxiety afterwards that left me sort of traumatized. I feel your pain brother. I will never trip again on anything. I’m even wary of coffee or alcohol now while my nervous system is healing. My advice to you is this......you have been given a 2nd chance. Don’t tempt fate.....time to hang up.....message received. Good luck brother. Stay pure.

[@dormitivevirtue]

Hi Tom, I'm curious how you feel about the occasional low (not tripping level) dose?

[@mapofm]

We really take our sober self for granted.. Glad you've realized all of this man. Much love.

[@smartselfdesign5691]

I rarely ever write comments, but here goes. Dude I've been your subscriber for almost a year now and I gotta say... This may sound mean but I'm kinda actually glad you went through this experience and came up on the other side because you just feel waaaay more authentic and structured in your speech and thoughts now, you're not all over the place and it feels like you integrated your shadow, at least partially. I love spiritual teachers who can acknowledge and talk about dark shit because that's what gives depth and meaning to things. Rose-colored glasses are fun in the beginning but you eventually come to realize there's more to it, and even if that "more" means darkness, it's a very key part to developing an identity that's in harmony with reality. Keep them coming!

[@starr14365]

Great video. SO glad that I happened upon it today. Thank you for sharing...it DOES make a difference. Peace and much LOVE

[@VEE3RDEYE]

I agree psychedelics aren't fun! There's still a lot i'm learning when i take certain doses, and microdosing psilocybin is working wonders for my SAD. When i make any kind of trip video i show the bad and the good and try not to give my opinion i just let the drugs effects show thru the camera as much as possible so the viewer can make their own judgment. Also by making all of these psychedelic related videos we are making it easier for everyone to speak openly about these, whether they have a drug problem or a psyche problem not too long ago it was impossible to talk to anyone without judgment. Anyway, happy to see you're travelling again dude! Can't wait to see what you create

[@sebsefyu]

@your mate tom Where did you get that mug with that straw you drink from in this video?

[@QuintonRC23]

Thank you for admitting psychedelics actually increase your ego. Many people like to hide from this fact but it’s true

[@NeanderthalDogma]

Hey man you were absolutely right in going ahead and making this video. We all need to be honest if we truly want to educate ourselves and reduce potential harm to our spirits.

[@eudaemonia3134]

Thanks for the honesty man

[@ryanwasson7558]

Great video mate! Loved the clarity and wisdom. Really liked that video clip you used halfway through as well. The spiritual ego is a tough one to wrap your head around, which explains why there are so many spun out psychonauts out there worshiping drug experiences. Like you said, it's the ego itself that's trying to wrap the head around things... and if the vessel is dirty and cracked, from unhealthy practices, routines and beliefs, it won't be able to carry that spiritual experience and understanding all that far and rather than cleaning the vessel, it's easier to up the dosage... Downward spiral. Happy to see you on the other side. Thanks for sharing.

[@amphibeingmcshpongletron5026]

I can't wait to see what you get into in the future man! You have a unique perspective that can carry over well beyond the discussion of psychedelic compounds. Love the psychedelic videos, but, I'd watch you talk about TV shows, politics, food, travel or anything really. We're here for your journey and point of view, for our mate Tom. I know you'll continue to do great things and I hope you're able to keep sharing them with us.

[@zoeglowey2949]

I really appreciate the candid nature of this video and your general storytelling style. Shit gets real when you mess with drugs. Even if you're doing it with the best of intentions, it doesn't mean that it's responsible. Truthfully, there is a lot of hopeful research coming out through MAPS and other organizations that talk about their benefits when used in a therapeutic setting but it's so easy to have a glamourized and romanticized idea of them if you've had a couple of revelatory trips and get immersed into the psychonaut community. I guess sometimes it takes swinging too far on one end of the pendulum to get disillusioned and sober up the perspective. Thank you so much for sharing this alternative viewpoint. I experimented with Psilocybin a bit 4 years back and haven't really touched them since, partly because I spent a lot of time crying in bed during that period thinking I was doing really deep "Shadow work" when really, I was just digging myself into a hole of despair. And now I share a super similar set of values and priorities: be FUNCTIONAL. PRAGMATIC. DO what WORKS. The message I got from all that was that I can have all of these revelatory experiences myself. Meditate. Eat Well. Exercise. Cultivate good relationships. Step out of your comfort zone, and if you need, find a therapist that can help you with developmental trauma. Other than that, evolve at your own pace and make connecting with yourself a priority. I got the message. I hung up the phone. Thank God. And who knows, they might genuinely call again and have another message but for now I'm really happy just being pretty mundane. Going to university, doing homework, meditating, and getting to know myself at a pace that's natural. Earning the wisdom.

[@DeGarisJ]

We love you Tom. You have a wonderful honesty about you and I really appreciate you talking about psychedelics, not as the go to for all problems, but something to be treated with the utmost respect and caution. I look forward to watching more of your videos

[@ptoamo2007]

This video helped me a lot, thank you

[@jamescrock2213]

Had this preset of thought the second i watched you for the first time. Just hanged on observing the growth, what people tend to say at this or that stage, sorta mapping it out. But i feel exactly how you are without any psychedelic. Just thank you for chronicling all this growth

[@Steven_Segura]

really like all this insight i think itll help me learn to check myself

[@NubeBuster]

I needed this talk

[@ClimbnotWar]

Thank You so much Tom. I really needed to see this video. I am in a similar boat as you were in when you made this and I am so happy I have an open-minded video to go back to when I feel like going back to certain habits. thank you. thank you. thank you.

[@LoudSound14]

Realest video I’ve seen. Been waiting to see someone talk on this👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽

[@alexyarkov5058]

damn, you really brought up some really valid points, got me thinking.

[@ding0865]

Out of curiosity how many times have u tripped overall?

[@mortmr]

Beautiful self-awareness Tom! Although you identify some ways in which you may have negatively impacted others, this video is a real example of how to check yourself. I believe this is something we can all greatly benefit from and I'm glad an influential figure like yourself has been so open in doing so. Much love and good luck on the rest of your journey.

[@andrewliggy1996]

Hey Tom! I've been following yoi for a while now but this is my first comment. I love your material, and find hearing about your experiences very insightful. I've been struggling with depression and anxiety for a while now & have been practicing meditation and exercise and have been thinking about taking a trip to Iquitos for an Ayahuasca ceremony, but I'm hesitant after what you experienced on your second night in your doc & worry the same might happen to me. Do you have any advice or insight to share with me?

[@vanmark1953]

Outstanding. I appreciate the candidness. He addresses concerns that many of us have had about the "community," separate from our belief in the concept of psychedelics.

[@Lexi-ol6yy]

That being said Im 18 & i was gonna try a a gram the first time.. any advice? Is it safe?

[@fcarriedo]

Respect. Your stream of consciousness just comes out so sincere you can tell. Appreciated.

[@nicholaswilliams8470]

Bro I'm going through this hppd hell. glad to know it ended for you. It gives me hope. I have really been damaged. I was caught up in that same consciousness expansion crap. I went further and further and it got darker and darker. I have had to give up work and fishing and playing pool and smoking pot and it's very depressing. Just want to say that people like you make me feel not so alone. Im glad you got better. I hope I do too. Good luck man

[@flymfull]

You speak with your heart man, it only delivers the message better. Great video keep up ! Peace from france

[@Eklisarov]

Hey man, i am a fan of your work and i respect that video a lot. I had some challenging experiences with some of the compounds you speak about in your videos, so i can relate, at least to certain extend. However i had the most challenging one on a Vipassana mediation retreat , where you can't really talk about it because it is in a silent environment. What i learned tho, or at least what i think i learned was that there are certain aspects of our psyche if you want, that will manifest themselves in this altered states of mind, and what you can do is just observe them, don't react or act on them, observe and watch their fleeting nature. What you are saying now, is the reality right now, you are scared and traumatized and you reasoned your way into the decision of ending your exploration, which on it's own takes a lot of balls to do ( because we all know the craving of the "good" trips, and that is a slippery slope), but what i would advise ( and take that with a huge grain of salt) be open to the idea that this is yet another state of mind, another manifestation of a "self" that you are experiencing now. Who knows after you had enough time sober and investigating what the fuck happened to you, that you will have a new look on the question of psychedelics. That doesn't necessarily mean that you will do them again, but at least know that if the time is right, or you just want to see "Okay, what is it going to be like now" you should be able to do it. Anyway you seem like a great guy, i wish you nothing but good fortune in the projects to come and stay safe :)

[@AdventuresThroughTheMind]

Tom, Thanks for sharing this. Your raw honesty shows and it's beautiful to see. Thanks for your courageousness.. It also seems that you are still going through the healing process and if you would like some support, hit me up.

[@Mtnfarmer55]

Thanks for this. Yep, that’s what my early trip guides told me at the beginning. They would keep reminding me that, yes, psychedelics can open doors to realms beyond our imaginings, but after a certain point, if one continues to keep using them, the access doors begins to close. The real going through the doors can only be done from within. Over the years, that advice proved to be exactly correct. Even though I began my journey as a seeker, too many times later, to go any deeper, I had to get back to the work back at the beginning and am now deeper into my seeking than just psychonaut research. Thanks again. Blessed be.

[@bromance1785]

John Clark p

[@11wolflover1]

John Clark I agree, I met some shamans who took me under their wing and many said the same thing. Psychedelics should be used as tools but you yourself are the vessel.

[@itmaybethinkingtime6114]

Totally agree, good on you man for getting it out and managing to form it into words ✨

[@itmaybethinkingtime6114]

My existentialism started at the same time as yours, the start of 2017, was comforting seeing you going through the same thing at the same time, it's good to be coming out the other side! Keep going man, the waves will come but your stronger in the long run!!

[@ptadisbander7959]

OH MY GOSH that Peterson clip is amazing. Wow

[@JayMaverick]

Thanks for sharing, Tom. Glad to hear you've grown and matured. This is exactly why it's impossible to get addicted to psychedelics. If you're able to listen, once you learn what you need to learn, you can move on. It may feel silly looking back, but you needed to learn what you learned and it's all part of the journey.

[@launchboy4075]

I see a lot of myself in you Tom, the flaws and warning signs that you talk about I can really resonate with

[@TheHWFstudios]

You don’t understand how much this has helped me. I’m going through this right now and it’s really hard man. Thank you. Once you get the message, hang up the phone

[@selfLove89]

Thanks for making this video Tom. Mad respect.

[@anthonytruman]

I agree with you Tom. I’ve been thinking about how great I really have it. People have much much worse circumstances, trauma, everything. Thanks for expressing how you honestly feel about it. I also think we are social creatures so it is somewhat natural for us to want to share these experiences with people and seek for others to relate to us.

[@petkobankov442]

Thank you very much, your words were what i needed :)

[@pipjacjjones]

Dude I love the honesty I am going through exactly the same realisation. I wish great things for you man much love💛👁👍

[@proudscorpio46]

Your great for making this tom , it's fun until it goes wrong and opens your mind *too* much. Ignorance is bliss. People always want to blame it on the wrong surroundings or being around the wrong people the wrong setup but it's so much more. Unfortunately I feel like there will still be many who will hear of these things and continue carelessly tripping until they have a breakthrough. *down a wormhole.*

[@davidinawe791]

do you listen to the flatbush zombies?

[@zitagossington8716]

thank you for making this video..it puts everything int perspective

[@Shelem66]

You are wise beyond your years. Thank you for being so honest. It's good to hear such a genuine and authentic soul who isn't trying to sell me anything.

[@Bigboyjingles]

Hey Tom, this is by far my favourite video by you!

[@derenz2509]

Adapt ??

[@KrispysKourse]

FaZe Adapt how the hell did you end up here?

[@KrispysKourse]

FaZe Adapt do you have experience with psychedelics too ?

[@Alvarxp]

@@KrispysKourse lol

[@Whoami12000]

@@KrispysKourse he did my man

[@holloweddoob3308]

Ive gone through a similar realization recently. Though i havent done near the same amount of psychedelics as you have, the bottom line is that they get old. Its a beautiful thing, one that can draw you in and cause you to waste a lot of time, money, and brain capacity. Keep your head up, and good luck on all things to come!

[@ethanwato3271]

So much love man. Such a genuine video, I really have no words. This resonated so strongly with me, ahhh so much depth, you're becoming more compassionate and humble with every video it's a beautiful process to observe. Well done man, very very well spoken. I wish I could articulate how all encompassing and relatable this is for me. So much love .. ☝️ ♾ ♂️🤞♀️

[@coletonlandis6022]

I feel like I was chasing a false dream with drugs for years and that shit is only gonna fuck you up and leave you depressed still & broke, if you’re not happy with yourself change is the only thing that’ll actually make you happy again

[@valkyriandreams]

Tom. Please read this. I see that you nervous. Don't. Just chill and rest from all of that intence experience. You just need to calm dowm deeply. Because i feel that you feel yourself bewildered and cofused. You absolutely do not need to be accountable to anyone will you take psychedelics or not. Of course I understand you have your own youtube channel on which you upload specific content. I just want you to know that there are people who really understand you. As am I. And I wish you a deep calm and feel peaceful as soon as possible. With hug, love and peace. ✌🏻💚

[@xArchxDemonx]

I'm really glad you posted this video. I had something similar happen to me and I didn't even realize it until just a few days ago. I wouldn't like going into the details of it but I can say that there is two sides to this coin. If you can see what has happened and fix it then you are going to be on a path to greatness.

[@evanstapp]

We'll keep watching your videos mate. Keep up the good work.

[@D.Cooper420]

I respect your honesty bro, and can fully relate to what you went through. I've been there myself. What doesn't kill you definitely makes you stronger ;) Respecting the substance and respecting yourself are key

[@zoeglowey2949]

It's actually sweet to hear a video on psychedelics that isn't so glamourized, this gave me so much more validation to stay away from them for as long as I need.

[@jahbone739]

Thanks for your honesty, Bro