Why I Hate "ME BEFORE YOU"

Thirteen years ago today, I sustained a spinal cord injury, and began living my life as a person with quadriplegia. Ten days from today, on June 3rd, "Me Before You" -- a film that features a character with a spinal cord injury -- will be released in theatres across North America. To celebrate my anniversary, I made this to explain why "Me Before You" is offensive, ableist, and perpetuating negative stereotypes about disability.
Subscribe or follow me to see other things I make:
Facebook: / justhappentobe
Instagram: / dan.c.harvey
Twitter: / eliotrosewater

[@gnarlessagan6558]

I like your style of self-conversation. It manages to point out some real offensive things without alienating the viewer.

[@afashonxdisaster]

Fantastic hearing a disabled person's perspective on this story as I myself am not disabled. It's very eye opening listening to you discuss the language used. When you said "It was made by the non disabled for the non disabled and caters to the non disableds' biggest fears about life with a disability" made me go holy shit. Like, you're so right!! I never woild have thought about it that way. It's a shame disabilities are so normal yet aren't at all normalized in our society. Props to you my man for this video!!

[@chiaramalik3815]

"it's made by the non disable, for the non disable" the pure and simple truth

[@EmeraldLavigne]

Try modifying the Bechtel test to disabled people: - a disabled person - talks to another disabled person - about something, ANYTHING, other than an abled person. It's eye-opening to look at media that way. Then do it for queer characters, black characters, trans characters, native characters, etc...

[@nadjanordingroning2758]

I feel like his foremost disability, "ruining his life", was depression

[@dream28b]

I'm a paraplegic and noticed a lot of inconsistencies. In my own opinion I was so grateful they actually showed and expressed that people with disabilities can be really depressed by their situation. I appreciated that they brought up autonomic dysreflexia, something many of my friends are still trying to wrap their head around. I think everyone with a disability will have their own opinion of what the book and or movie expressed. I wasn't offended by it but can agree it wasn't a good idea to portray the lead character's life as how all disabled people's lives and attitudes will be. Like you said, there needs to be a film that comes out that follows an actual person's story who uses a wheelchair vs that of a fictional story so the public can get another perspective.

[@Jesswithlessstress]

Well, Shit! That was eye opening. This video was tactful, informative and witty. I love that you challenge viewers to take closer look at missconceptions portrayed in "Me Before You." and in mainstream media. Way to go! I'll be sure to give this video a share so you can continue breaking down stereotypes by spreading knowledge and awareness.

[@justhappentobe]

Thank you. I've got more stuff coming soon. There is a whole world of stereotypes out there that I'm prepared to destroy.

[@sherdoxzon2695]

As a person with a C4 Cord injury, I find the story line of "Me before you" offensive. I had to change my life some after my injury but I expanded my endeavors. Screw Hollywood's stereotypes, get your medical information right, depict us as we are and at least use an actor with a disability. They might actually give the viewer a true insight to spinal cord injury.

[@AnnoyingAsianWitch]

+

[@DeLittleRebel]

How is this offensive to you? I mean no offense of course but I'm just curious as to why so many people get pee'd off by this movie, I don't really think they're stereotyping at all, it's just this individual character

[@12Kyra121]

This book was written by an author, it was not first a hollywood screen plane

[@DeLittleRebel]

12Kyra121 duhh?

[@livia9035]

Sher Doxzon Well, but that's not the actors mistake. The movie is filmed according to the book... and do not you think if they would have use someone with an injury, could it be hard to filmed or it would not be as good as if real actors did not play?

[@lonemaskedwolf]

Unfortunately I went to see Me Before You (because my friends wanted to see it) before I saw your video. What's worse is I think I was the only one in my group who left the movie asking a lot of questions you answered. Thank you for sharing. P.S. Aside from your insight you have great comic timing.

[@BreakMyViolinHeart]

I enjoyed the book but had no idea how offensive it was to those with these injuries. There's a lack of education for those of us who don't live with quadriplegia. To the best of anyone's knowledge, is there anything out there that's better researched? I'd love to read/watch it if so!

[@JQIsabella]

Girl I just saw a comment about intouchables, a french movie, and it's dope

[@charlotteschmidbauer5655]

Yes the intouchables is a beautiful movie

[@AngelineProductions]

The Intouchables is a fantastic movie.

[@Alyssa-ee3dm]

I love that movie

[@GallifreyanCat]

There's a more recent French movie by Grand Corps Malade called "Patients" which I found great, but the character in that is only temporarily tetraplegic, thanks to re-ed he can more or less walk again in the end.

[@justhappentobe]

"F*&% you, Will Traynor!"

[@lorenacastro9915]

SOY LATINA Y TAMBIEN RENGO MI COLUMNA COMPROMETIDA, YA SOY DISCAPACITADA,PERO SIENTO QUE TODAS LAS FORMAS QUE EXISTEN EN EL MUNDO ,SI UNO ABRE SU MENTE ,NO SE TRATA DE UN CUERPO SE TRATA DE SER ,...........Y SI OLVIDAMOS CICATRICES ,CXIRUGIAS DE VARIAS HORAS, RESULTADOS DEVASTADORES Y TENEMOS LA OPORTUNIDAD DE ELEVARNOS ESPIRITUALMENTE .....ELIGE AMAR Y NO SACAR EN CARA LO QUE ES TUYO,EL OTRO NO TIENE PORQUE SOPORTARNOS ASI , Y SI PUEDES ENTENDER ESTO SERAS MISTERIOSAMENTE FELIZ....................DUELE,PERO YA NO SOMOS ESOS , ABRA TU CORAZON Y ENCONTRARAS LA VIDA BESO CARU

[@nikkiespinosa8854]

LOL, yes, I have to agree. XD

[@barbwalker2973]

OMG dumbass it's a work of fiction get over your self

[@velinawelch7705]

barb walker Yes a work of fiction...but a crappy one that sends out a very negative message! I cannot express how much I hated this fictional book!

[@barbwalker2973]

what ever you obviously are disabled or worked with disabled people so you know everything about how you should feel when you are disabled you know That every one that has difficulties in life has to be perfect and not think of suicide when there seems no way out . go for it tell a depressed person they are stupid and offensive for considering suicide cause they are fed up with life . ideally every one would be saved but you live in La la land if you think this doesn't happen . some people are strong like Stuart Mangan some people are not strong hope you never have your life torn away from you. like Will did . was he selfish hell yes but that is part of human nature . i choose to agree to disagree with you on that one . i can tell you from my own experience you can appear happy on the outside and be sad and depressed on the inside.

[@lepaloma]

god, i loved every second of this video and yes, i would also have oscar isaac babies

[@GlowandLuna]

Paloma Cabrera Oscar isaac?

[@BetweenChapters]

Thank you so much for this review! I am an able bodied person and a book reviewer here on KZbin and I attempted to discuss the ableism of Me Before You in my review of it a couple of months ago. I searched and searched for reviews by people with disability where I could learn more about the representation in the book and back then I was only able to find two reviews aimed at the movie. I am so glad to see that the hashtag #mebeforeableism is now a thing, and to see more people speaking up about this book and movie. There were some aspects of the book that really connected with me (in the character of Louisa and her circumstances), but the portrayal of Will being just a prop to her life and her life being the one that deserved being "bettered" so infuriated me! I saw this without it being pointed out to me and have been quite alarmed that the majority of the book community hasn't seemed to. We all have different perspectives going into books, I don't mean to call anyone out for liking it, but I would love if more people examined it critically beyond just it being a "tearjerker." I really appreciate this review and how informative you were on the book's flawed terminology, as I am still learning how to accurately talk about this book. I would love to share your video, and even link to it in the description of mine for people to have more information, if that would be ok?

[@BetweenChapters]

James McMureter, I can't tell if you are responding to something you think I said or just chiming in to the conversation with another point (great conversation).

[@justhappentobe]

Thank you for your kind words, Between Chapters. Feel free to share!

[@BetweenChapters]

You are a fantastic reviewer. This was so well spoken, informative, cited specific examples from the book, used a creative format, and the editing is great. I hope we'll see more from you. :)

[@justhappentobe]

More stuff coming soon. I promise. All of the new videos won't be reviews (some will), but I think (or hope) you'll like them.

[@peggy767]

I am really glad to hear that people who actually have C5/6 don't live the kind of life described in the book.Personally,I always think there's hope until we are alive and have the ability to think as a human being.Also I completely agree with James McMurter in the fact that disabilities need to be cured and I hope you will get more attention.

[@olsikowa]

Wow, you're really charismatic! When I see video of someone new I don't know I usually don't watch the whole thing, but your conversation with yourself was so interesting, that I watched it all. Cool video, man!

[@xuxu3703]

Bruh i used to watch you girl! Take care ❤

[@mialares6392]

plus, I think that something that is really important in the books and was excluded from the movie was the part where Lou starts talking with other disabled people, and they're all so full of life, and recommend activities for Will to do, and actually enjoy their lives, I think that just shows that people go through it differently

[@pinyao1]

Thank you for this video! I got recommended the book on goodreads and I found it to be the most morally bereft book I've ever read. His suicide is treated as some sort of triumph of spirit instead of a tragedy. And everyone's life is better with him dead? Lou gets money. His dad finally gets to leave his marriage and live with his mistress. So...yay? And Will misses his life being a blackberry addicted adrenaline junkie so much he commits suicide? His family was toxic. He was toxic. Louisa was too cowed by their money and intelligence to really speak up effectively. The mental health system failed him. I understand the value of medically assisted suicide. But this was not a case where it was called for. For those who have lost a loved one to suicide this book is a slap in the face. It didn't have to end happily. But it sure shouldn't have glorified his choice. I'm glad I read a library copy instead of buying it.

[@reikun86]

Somebody in the comments brought it up, but pre-sustained-injury Will wouldn't have given Lou the time of day.

[@pinyao1]

@@reikun86 he had a completely flat character arc. The 1st scene set him up as someone completely obsessed with superficial success. He lost that (in his own eyes) couldn't deal with it, learned nothing from it and died. If his character setup had been different it maayyyyybe could have made sense. The author ignored her own narrative arc in favor of a gimmick.

[@yourdad8224]

@pinyao1 exactly

[@DwynTwo]

His choice wasn't glorified. The book deals with a lot of thinking about pros and cons. "Not a case where it was called for"- that's for the individual to decide.

[@AnnikaVictoria24]

Ha I freaking loved this video & your comic timing was perfect!! I am also a (part time) wheelchair user with a bunch of medical conditions & constant chronic pain and constantly feeling like I have to justify to people why I (gasp) LOVE my life, because of bullcrap like this. Thank you for making this video.

[@hollywood2680]

The shame with the film is they cut out the online support group where the girl Louisa finds all this information out from other people with spinal cord injuries. That showed the positive side of people with disabilities. The book also explained the preparations Louisa had to do in terms of moving furniture and her dad building a ramp for Will to get in. It does make sense to me now that more had to be done like probably getting through the front door from the angle of the staircase that were right as you walked into her house would have been an issue. However, this all goes back to the movie making standpoint. Nothing on the silver screen is 100% accurate. They take liberties with everything and cut corners. I can imagine this can be frustrating and they should have done more to show the realism of this topic, but just like a lot gets cut out in movies, a lot is manufactured in the suspension of disbelief. Coming from someone who has no experience with people with disabilities, I didn't even think about this film or book being "ablest" but I've been watching these reviews from people in the community and it's opening my eyes a bit. The people who made this book and film had a great opportunity and missed a lot of avenues they could have taken to shed light on the topic. That being said, as someone who has no experience with the physically disabled community, I understood from reading, as it was presented more effectively, that Will was an odd case. In the beginning, he tried support groups, was willing to meet with other people with quadriplegia who were in his community, and had a good attitude. However, the moment he realized he wasn't going to get better, he was over it. Through the online support that Louisa gets to help aid Will the best she can, we learned that this was a typical wall that most people in the community have to get through and there were dozens of responses explaining how it could happen and the kind of life he could have. However, Will didn't want it no matter what. Again, in the book, it's explained how this is so frowned upon and all the options he had for a life, but Will was set. This is not the life he wanted. From my perspective, from someone who had a relative actually get humanely euthanized in the Netherlands, I didn't think this was a movie saying, "Oh yeah being disabled is worse than death." What it made me think was how sad that this one guy cannot see all the help available to him and all the life available to him. I know this is super long and I didn't mean for it to be, but I will say all in all, as someone from a very outsider perspective, I didn't take it the way I think people are assuming. That being said, videos like yours and the others I've been watching make me sad that people with disabilities weren't shown in the best light when they could have been considering the wide platform this film has. It did open my eyes though, as did your video, so thank you.

[@mialares6392]

Holly Wood THANK YOU! The book treated the situation more delicately, the movie lacked that

[@nataliayadirarodriguezdela2696]

Holly Wood i agree with you.

[@nathanblue]

I have a disability and yet I love this movie. I understand how it could be misunderstood as a movie that puts negative light to people with disability, but it was pretty obvious that it's not the message it's trying to send. What the protagonist feels is more than just about his disability; it's something more deeper. If the movie wants to focus on disability alone, there could have been more scenes that show him not being able to do a lot of things by himself. In my opinion, the intended message of this movie is to show that in spite of all the resources that he has and the people that care about him, he doesn't want to be a burden to them. He loves the female lead enough that he has chosen to set her free knowing that she can accomplish so much more and take care of her own needs for the first time (because she has always put other people's needs first). It also wants to show us the importance of being able to make very important life choices on our own. Millions of people commit suicide and they're often judged because people feel that it's a very selfish act. What they don't see is the endless suffering these people go through every day. This movie honestly wants to open our minds to the importance of choice and communication. The protagonist communicated very well with his loved ones his plan to take advantage of assisted suicide and prepared them very well as to what's to come. He may have been on a wheelchair, but the same thing could be true and applicable to someone who's living his/her life in pain even without a physical disability. I know this for a fact because as early as 5 years old, I've been wanting to die, but I know that I'll be judged just like the protagonist is being judged for being self-centered and selfish. There's more to his decisions than simply being in a wheelchair. I believe that if assisted suicide or euthanasia would have only been available to those people who had already chosen to end their lives, the outcome would have been a lot different. And yes, if only the option to end my life with dignity is available to me, I wouldn't have to wake up every day feeling dead and extremely miserable. People will say that happiness is a choice, but you'll never understand how it feels to be me unless you go through the same pain that I experience every day. I hope that before we call this movie stereotypical, we widen our way of thinking first and not turn this into something that simply puts disabled people in a bad light because I don't think that's the intention when making this movie.

[@nancyramirez6811]

I have to say I agree with you... suicide is a choice... if someone does not want to live anymore who are we to judge? the only thing we can do is love them anyway... it may seem that such a choice is selfish... but we are also selfish wanting a person to live in a way they can't stand anymore...

[@nathanblue]

Thank you...I truly appreciate that! There's nothing more painful than the emotional pain one experiences. The sad thing is that people always equate it to a mental illness which isn't the case. I hate to say this but I am a living dead; I may be physically alive but everything in me is dead. I did try everything but the outcome is the same...I just want to die! Thank you once again for your understanding. It means a lot to me!

[@obianujuchinemelu5455]

Hi Nathan, how are you doing today?

[@bernardguynunns5658]

I can accept that those whose physical situations are entirely hopeless might want to end their lives but what about someone who is perfectly healthy but depressed. Where do we draw the line? I could never accept the latter demanding assisted suicide.

[@nathanblue]

@@bernardguynunns5658 when I posted this message, I wasn’t even diagnosed with ME/CFS and Fibromyalgia. Now that I’m suffering from it, the more I stand by my words in support of assisted suicide. I’m in my 40s but have been clinically depressed since I was 6 yrs old. You wouldn’t know the severity of one suffering from it until you’re in their shoes. Pain and suffering don’t end with the physical. Depriving people of their choice and dignity to finally end that suffering is cruel and selfish on your part!

[@lynnewelton6222]

Thank you so much for making this video! I'm an English teacher in Ukraine, and our English coursebook has a very problematic excerpt from the book (the scene where Lou and Will first meet). Me and my students live in a country where there are many more people with mobility problems now because of the war, missile strikes and landmines, etc. It's so important for us to interrogate these harmful ways of thinking, but the book doesn't push back at all. As extra homework, I gave them your video to watch and we will discuss it in our next class.

[@liliya5559]

The thing is that the author does not tell the story as something that disabled people should do, it is a story of an individual person who just cannot accept his condition and just does not want to be a burden to his relatives (this is his point of view on the situation). We all have the right to make our own decisions.

[@721rena]

Liliya R. It's honestly how I would react if I became permanently disabled. After my car accident back when i was 14 I was in a wheelchair for 8 months it was one of the lowest moments in life I couldn't take it anymore if i became physically disabled again but this time permanent. Suicide would definitely be something id consider and I absolutely hate to say it but it's true

[@jwlgoesfishing]

I agree with you mostly. Although I can also see why the poorly done research can be INCREDIBLY frustrating for people who really have quadriplegia (I had to google the spelling lmao). As someone who's had depression and still has a form of autism, it's already irritating to see those things written poorly by people who don't know two things about it.

[@MagicSetback]

I think the problem is, like he said, that it's written by an able bodied person for able bodied people. The injury is seen as a nightmare scenario that makes up for good drama and emotional scenes, and a lot of the readers seem to agree. Some people actually live with this, and the fact that someone's profiting from using their condition (especially when not even knowing much about it) as a dramatic storyline is lame. If people think that a book, in which one of the main characters is literally defined by his disability instead of being an actual multidimensional individual is well-written, it's kinda dehumanizing towards people with disabilities. If she wanted to tell a story where a guy just can't get over it, in this individual case, the book should've probably stressed the fact that Will had always been quite self-centered and shallow, and the romance should've also focused on the dysfunctional psychological setting between the two, because that would've been the main issue. (I haven't read the book, though, so I'm basing everything I know on this video and what I've read about the plot online)

[@goodgirlkay]

MagicSetback You don't have to be shallow to choose death over permanent paralysis.

[@Cy_Cyborg]

The problem is that this is the ONLY THING MOST ABLE BODIED PEOPLE SEE ABOUT US. I kid you not, people who knew me for years started sending me messages after this movie came out saying sh!t like "I just saw me before you and I understand what you're going through SO MUCH BETTER now!" and trying to tell me that my life was worth living (despite showing no indication that I thought otherwise). I work in a disability representation program for schools and SO many kids and teachers tell us they would rather die than be like us. what happens then if they do become like us? statistically it's likely that at some point they will (old age, accidents, illness etc). this "sad cripple" story is all they know about us. what dose "I don't want to be a burden on my loved ones" tell a person who goes and sees this movie who might still be adapting to their life in a wheelchair? it tells them they are a burden because outside of his family and Lou, there is nothing to tell him he's not, just complication after complication. there's nothing in the story to my knowledge that balances it all out, or indicated that this was only one person's story. to the average observer who knows nothing about disability, Will represents everyone in a wheelchair. And yes, I am aware depression can mess with your head and make even good situations seem horrible, but listen to the reviews this film got. that's not what people thought he killed himself for. they think he killed himself because "he'll never be as good as he was" which is completely untrue. The guy was a sportsman, you can still play sport in a wheelchair. the guy was a "ladies man" and very sexual, I know guys who sleep with more women in a weekend trip away than most men can in a month. You adapt. You learn. You grow. this movie and book showed none of that. That's why people are upset with it. Fayanna Rena 8 months is not long enough to truly adapt to life in a chair so it makes sense that it was a low point for you, it would be crazy to expect the first 8 months to be a good picture of a whole life with a permanent disability. It takes years to adapt. it's hard but it gets easier with time. being a teenager dose impact that as well (teenagers in particular tend to struggle with disability). I've been in a wheelchair my whole life and it's really not that bad once you lean your way around things properly. but learning takes time.

[@sav1052]

A. I loved Me Before You (for some reason), and while I still appreciate the writing, I now understand how the plot and characters are offensive. So thank you! B. The way you said "Mother of Dragons" made me cackle.

[@screaminmeani]

hi! i just found you. I'm one of those "horrifically suffering and disfigured" people with an ostomy...to whom people regularly say, "i'd rather be dead than live with a poo bag". every depiction i have ever seen on tv or media is negative. (except for all the awesome youtubers who regularly talk about their ostomies!! i really enjoyed your video. congratulations on the new house:)

[@Ekaekto]

I much prefer the unromantic version based on a true story, called "Les Intouchables" Great film, and I see much less problems with ableism there.

[@Br0th3r7]

It's called "Intouchables", it's french and a great movie :) it looks much better than Me Before You...

[@Natsumi666]

I haven't watched me before you, but I think they're different stories...

[@Br0th3r7]

oh okey ^^

[@Ekaekto]

Yes, they are slightly different. Intouchables is not a romantic story, but it is wonderful. I highly recommend it, I've watched it several times already :)

[@Natsumi666]

Ekaekto yes, it has some beautiful music tracks too ^^ I think this one includes romance besides other things.

[@MsDevotee]

Thanks for sharing. I thought Will's desire to end his life was partly because of the extreme pain: stomach ulcers; frequent infections; even slight bumps on sidewalks made him wince; frequent burning sensation; pneumonia; he knew his breathing etc would keep getting worse. Seems like these effects are not typical in spinal cord injuries. But maybe his condition was more complicated. I'm inspired by your story and understand the anger against the stereotype. Best wishes!

[@viobluette4890]

Will traynor was depressed though. That's why he thought so negatively of himself and everything. That's how depressed people are. But yeah. Some details are a little off.

[@darkninja1693]

And that's exactly why i hate the story. He just killed himself, he committed suicide. We shouldn't let peopel commit suicide, we should help them and give them hope.

[@marylancelot]

Yes! I fully believe the story isn't even about the wheelchair, but about depression. How vile depression can be at its worst, and how others and their actions, no matter how kind and compassionate, can't cure you. Depression is a bitch and you shouldn't fight it alone, but if you're suicidal and feel fully worhtless, some kind words are likely not gonna make a difference, and sometimes even if someone does their everything (like Lou), it's still not enough to save you.

[@megjane7]

Well yes, but unfortunately this is the only kind of story we get in movies and TV about people using wheelchairs. It just perpetuates the mainstream ideas by the rest of us that being in a wheelchair is the worst nightmare ever and there's no hope in sight. The writer wasn't brilliant or thoughtful when writing this story, it's only been copied about a hundred times.

[@Sapphias]

@@marylancelot If an able-bodied person becomes depressed, their family wouldn't help them kill themselves...

[@shaz5200]

I watched the movie and cried my eyes out at the ending. I didn't even think about all the problems it had. Thankyou for your video. It's really eye opening.

[@velinawelch7705]

I'm an able bodied person and I absolutely hated the book!!! To me it put out a very negative message that anyone with a disability basically had no life and had the right to just off themselves. Not only did I hate it but it made me angry, especially when I think about people with disabilities who not only still make the most of life but also do great things to help and encourage others in the same situation. To me it was a slap in the face to people that may face difficulties because yes life has changed, but they remain optimistic and appreciate life,! As they should!

[@Hana9916]

It's not illegal to "off yourself" and it's totally the right thing that people who are suffering have the option. But I still definitely don't like how this book portrays the situation.

[@craiggo1535]

"It's the mother of dragons!" I was laughing so hard at your delivery. Loved this review and all your direct quotes :)

[@gertrude137]

I love how not only are you talking about how bad this story is, but also explaining why it's bad and giving replacement phrases. This is just entertaining and informative all around.

[@monicaalexandru9638]

I think that “Me Before You” should be viewed as just a story about a man suffering from a disability and who wasn’t able to cope with it, but was able to make a mark on his caretaker’s life, who in turn, changed him a little bit(obviously, not enough to stop him from giving up). I see it as a story about two people that remain forever bonded, like Will says at the end: “You are scored on my heart, Clarke”. It’s not a lesson on how people with disability should be seen in general, it’s a particular case with particular people.

[@ellawilliams4948]

Have you seen Les Intouchables? It is also about a carer and a man with a disability. I really enjoyed it, its a really heart warming story where both characters learn a lot about life through their bond. But, then again, I don't have a disability, so I'm not really sure if there is anything problematic... maybe you could watch it and review it?

[@izziethan2]

That was a true story

[@edwardg4165]

I respect your views, and I have the utmost respect for disabled people. It might sound crazy, but I'm sure the movie was purely for Hollywood and didn't care for disabled people's realities. Sad to say, that's how money works in the movie industry.

[@EricAriel5]

It's based on a book and the author also wrote the script and didn't want the ending changed,Having saw the movie,it's mentioned several times what Will wants to do is wrong,the lead female even does everything she can to get him to see life is worth willing,to get him to change his stubborn mind,it's not in your face that you should end it all if your in a wheel chair for life,it's taken from one guys perspective,one guys life,I have had loved ones in a wheel chair for life and they had days they wished they could die,that they weren't a burden,I never saw them as that and I would never think assisted suicide is ok,it's terrible,but like I said the book and film is from the perspective of one person,I imagine everybody in a wheelchair either has the same feelings or a different feeling.

[@rodrigobutete2313]

the movie is not for dissabled people that is not totally completely paralyzed. This character is totally misserable since he cannot really do anything anymore. What do you do if you cannot even hold anything ? If you compare it to others, he cannot do anything anymore. While as others can still do things since they can move their hands and arms. Plus not all dissabled people have money or support, some are poor they cannot afford help or nurse or anything so they will really want to die. And even with money, it is emotional and mental torture to not be able to do anything and to move anything. feels like Your soul is lock inside your body, imagine what it feels like if you are tied to a chair for the rest of your life, and you can';t move anything but your head. The complainers here are not the same situation so they keep complaining about the movie and will say there is still life being dissabled, FUCK you can move that's why you can say that, your hands and arms are moving. Try to check the people that are in the same situation, many of them wants to die. I suggest to those who keeps complaining to check the ones that are really in the same situation I mean SAME and see if they are happy.

[@MillieonaVespa]

I really enjoyed the movie....

[@teaartist6455]

That's not crazy, that's being realistic about it. Of course they didn't think of disabled people, at best disabled people are props for them and we certainly are never seen as "close enough" to being people to be thought of, well, ever. Unless it earns money, of course. If you can paint a tragic picture to get people to donate to you and line your pockets with that, then disabled people suddenly exist*. *In this case referring to Autism $peaks, but I'd be surprised if there weren't more questionable organizations like that.

[@eyeball000]

I saw the movie and was confused about the backlash because people constantly complained about "When are we going to get a character who is depressed that doesn't magically get fixed by getting a spouse?" and I thought that Me before You delivered that? He had a "good" life but becoming a wheelchair user didn't satisfy him and gave him depression. The girl then gives him some enjoyment in his life but he's still depressed and wants to die. I don't know, that's my "ablest"(?) perspective I guess...

[@eyeball000]

maybe I just related to the sadness too much. I remember when I had the love of my life and although she mad me the happiest I ever was, I was still sad and attempted suicide, having to stay in the hospital overnight. If the author constructed the research a bit more, would the book/movie be better?

[@rockinonthemove]

I totally agree. This book was written as a story, not a self-help book to spread an encouraging message. Unfortunately, there are many people in the world who have the same mindset as the main character and have killed themselves because of their disability. That’s the reality of it. Is the author saying that it’s okay? No. Is the author saying all disabled people feel this way? No. But to say it depicts disabled people in a bad light is not completely accurate. This story isn’t about you, this is someone else’s reality.

[@RinsDesk]

+A Turtle The reply to "When are we going to get a character who is depressed that doesn't magically get fixed by getting a spouse?" shouldn't have been; "No, you're not enough. *kills self*" ...it should've been about a guy (or a girl) taking the steps to getting well without romantic love having anything to do with it. Because love from another person obviously doesn't fix depression. If the author wanted to write a book about the right for people to take their own lives she shouldn't have used quadriplegia, she should've used a disease that eventually would've killed him anyway.

[@megjane7]

Well yes he was depressed and unhappy learning his knew life and then killed himself, but unfortunately this is the only kind of story we get in movies and TV about people using wheelchairs. It just perpetuates the mainstream ideas by the rest of us that being in a wheelchair is the worst nightmare ever and there's no hope in sight. The writer wasn't brilliant or thoughtful when writing this story, it's only been copied about a hundred times

[@Kae.the.Selkie]

Thank God this video exists. I finished the movie. And for a moment I was in shock, but then I was FURIOUS. I searched and searched online to find out if anyone else was as angry as I was. I did find some, but not many. I'm so glad I found this. Watching all my feelings about the book said out loud makes me feel like I'm not silly for hating the book/movie. Thank you.

[@greenmarcosu]

I just watched this video and then got sad because it is your only video. I wasn't really planning on seeing that movie anyway, but I am glad I now better understand why it is such an offensive, ableist movie.

[@bluewrenreilly129]

There is absolutely nothing offensive about this film .It is a beautiful film beautifully acted by two talented people.Besides no one will miss you not seeing it as it is a hit.Not everyone in a wheel chair has exactly the same disabilities, or suffers the same pain as the character in the film. For him it was not bearable that's all. His choice.

[@blepp7641]

+bluewren Reilly For you it wasn't, but they way they portray disabled people was. Movies like this might teach or influence someone to think that disabled people are "miserable". This movie doesn't empower disabled people, it just makes people "pity" them more. Disabled people don't want your pity, they just want respect.

[@Justice237]

He's uploaded a couple more videos since this one

[@sharleendavis7320]

I haven’t watched me before you because I heard about the ending. My dad lived a full life of 35 years with one leg, he didn’t think I should just kill my self because life isn’t worth it. He had 3 kids post leg loss and built a great business and had decades with the love of his life, life was worth it.

[@Andrea-vm2mo]

This is great. I will be the first to admit that one of my biggest fears in life has been to become disabled - just like you said, I always thought I would rather die than to sustain a disability. You have changed my mind on that, a 100%.

[@lizzygoldentail]

"A lot of people would rather die than be us" That made me sad because you seem just like everybody else. You're videos are really binge-worthy too

[@parkchimmin7913]

I love your username. I found your videos in my recommended list and it it says "Just Happened To Be Recommended For You". So beautiful!

[@mrlagoonslawyer]

I'll admit i was sobbing at the end of the movie, but there was something that seemed very off about the portrayal of wheelchair users. As someone currently in the process of a depression diagnosis, the rep of that also didnt sit quite right, especially with the ending. Thank you for educating people on this topic!

[@mandybradley3079]

I just found this, and I want you to know how upset I was with the ending of the movie. Why the movie found no value in his life was very upsetting to me. Family would still love him, and he could still love them the same when he came out of his depression. It's a dangerous slope that I don't want to get into, but to say that your life has value no matter what happens to you. And what next, I have OCD send me to Switzerland? Any way I love you putting this truth out there. I'm God fearing so I don't need to explain more. Anyway your funny, cute, and a good actor. God bless. Watching this was a positive experience. ☺

[@Lewkie81527]

Will didn't want a live where some one would have to care for him 24/7 like feeling like a man and he didn't want Lou to have any regret later on. like the saying goes, If you love someone set them free. [like Will and Lou]

[@adelaidedupont9017]

Hi Justhappentobe. AZ Chapman sent me here. Beep beep beep to you! Happy 13th anniversary. "So many things have happened - we got married; we have a Master's degree; we have a van we can drive"! An ordinary life is as well celebrating as any other. So we all celebrate. I celebrate you.

[@koolkel00]

I'm not physically disabled, but I'm glad I'm not the only one that thought this movie smelled a bit off. I write stories about a lot of different kinds of characters, and one of my favorite focal characters is a girl who lost most of her left leg in a terrible machine accident when she was really small due to negligence and unethical child labor. She eventually gets a new home and recovers from the incident. And literally her entire deal is that she determinedly finds a way to do whatever she wants to do, and has a lot of fun doing it, even if she has to adapt to a situation. She has ADHD and is super active and loves parkour and climbing and lots of things that you wouldn't picture someone missing a leg, would do. But her story isn't about just "a girl overcoming missing a leg", it's really just another detail in a story with a ton of other things going on like sci Fi elements, living in an atypical adopted family unit, overcoming the struggles she faces with ADHD (which I do write from experience) Because I wanted to write her like a person first, with a detail applied, not making being disabled her entire personality, like a lot of shows do, or writing her like she's not disabled at all, like a lot of shows do. Which, I got a lot of the realistic details about what it's like living without part of your leg and using a prosthetic from youtube channels like footless jo. I think in the age of information we can take the time to actually hear what people we're representing in fictional stories, have to say, especially when it's as easy as looking up a KZbin channel. I like the way footless jo put it, in regards to living with a disability. "It's not a good thing, it's not a bad thing, it's just a thing," and I like looking at it that way. No stigma, it's just a detail. There's so many different kinds of people who live differently than the bland standard we've seen a billion times before. I think there's so many cool new possibilities if you just write with an open mind.

[@meerkatzels]

Yo, where can I read that story? She seems like a great character and I’m interested in the plot :)

[@rannochmoor1777]

As a disabled person since my illness began in 2008, I think this video is brilliant !

[@emmamcclellan8272]

This was amazing! Thank you for this great review, I hate when books that perpetuate stereotypes get insanely popular and give birth to movies that perpetuate stereotypes. Your review was lighthearted but insightful!

[@nigirizushi533]

If I could, I would like & share this endlessly. I'm so glad I saw this. The line where you said "it was made by the non-disabled for the non-disabled & caters to the non-disabled" struck a chord in me. It completed messed me up. It was such an eye-opener Wow. This video was wonderful.

[@mycharliequinn]

well this is the best thing ever

[@dragmil.9475]

You gave me some new insight. I totally lost this negativ point because I was looking out for excuses for such drastical decisions like his neverending series of illnesses and pain that could make anybody go crazy but in the end Will himself admits it is because of the disablity and he does not mention the pain as much as the psychological trauma he suffered in contrast to his old life. So thank you for the insight and this bittersweet taste for maybe a more disturbing story I did not understand.

[@wutangalex]

Thank you. As a person born with kidney disease and sustaining spinal cord injury at L5/6 I was seriously offended by this book. I have no time for anyone who sees me as simply disabled. Anyone who defined me as such is out my life. Will was a total hypocrite, life was worth living, except for him of course.

[@alexkennedy1820]

Does it bother you when someone suggests a film or movie to you only because one of the characters is a Person with a Disability?

[@jessicajayne25]

I have spent most of my life correcting people using offensive language when it comes to mental health conditions... yet when I watched this film I saw nothing wrong... thank you so much for making this video and reviewing this. I can’t believe I didn’t see how disturbingly offensive this film actually was, I don’t think I was thinking that it was discriminatory while watching it, but after your review I can’t unsee. Brilliant ending summary as well, interesting to hear! Thank you!

[@Lainytainy]

I'm really bad at making what i think in my head come out write on line, so I'm sorry if I say anything offensive because that is truly not my intention. I do not think that this is a perfect book or movie at all, and there are many flaws, mostly to do with the finite details of his condition. But most people generally do not know the exact terminology when it comes to paralysis (I certainly don't), and I think most people would do well to just look past the little mistakes with that because I don't agree that it should impact the actual story that was developed. I do believe that the main basis of the story was choice. It was Will's choice to go through with that, and whether or not it was right it doesn't matter because it was his. And the reason why it could be perceived as offensive is because there is so few films or books about a person with a disability, that the only one that is well known also contains themes of euthanasia, which i understand is really not great. I think the problem mostly lies with just how little there is portrayed about disability in media, because if there were plenty of stories involving disability, this one would just be one that contains some extreme ideas, and several technical mistakes regarding the disability.

[@huibocao5318]

Helena Hartwig-Costello will

[@stoshgimp]

Nicely done. As a fellow filmmaker with a spinal cord injury, I commend you on tackling this issue! Hollywood needs to create stories that accurately reflect the lives of individuals with disabilities. This includes hiring actors with disabilities rather than non-disabled talent. While portraying the part of a person with a disability might be popular among the able-bodied acting community, it is quickly becoming the modern day equivalent of "black face". Disability should and must be accurately represented in the media. Kudos for your video.

[@clarisafb9794]

Well, I'm not sure if you are still doing videos. Your last video is from 5 years ago. I hope you are fine and wish you the best.👍🏻😊 Now I will give my opinion about the book, and don't get offended. My favourite phrase is ' Where there is life, there is hope'. But let's think for a while, let's imagine that Will is a real person that passed from being a healthy person without any dissability, succesful and happy. And then he has an accident where makes him a handycap person. You know I understand your point of view because I'm also a girl with a dissability. I don't wear a wheelchair, but I have a problem in one of my legs and a problem in left hip and low back. I got this problem because of Septicemia that almost killed me when I was just a baby, I had until now many surgeries around 6 surgeries that I had to support because some of them included external apparatus that were inserted in my bones for several months. I know what is to feel impotent and to suffer of pain. Also I know what is to feel judge by people no matter if they are adults or children. I know how is to walk on a wheelchair because some pos-surgery recovery made me used wheelchair for some time. And when I was a teenager I wanted to finish my life because I felt depressed, because of the bullying from some students that without any reason used to judge me, to insult me, etc. Nowadays I feel emotionally better, but let's think for a while that everyone has to live even if they have a dissability. Each person can pick up a decission. I have read the book, I have watched the movie and I liked both. I felt identify with some parts of the movie and book, I will say mostly with the book because you can read Will's feelings and those feelings are the ones that I had felt some time in my life. I understand what do you mean, but there are millions of people like you, like me that have different opinions and we can't judge the author. There are people that suicided themselves for millions of reasons, and I'm sure that some of those people had a dissability mental or physical.

[@vectorworm]

i dont fricking know how you can make this conversation with yourself yo natural. I love it! great acting

[@dkllkwqe]

I don't see how it was offensive. The story clearly states that many people with similar disabilities are happy and fulfilled, just not this particular man. Also why Dignitas controversial? It offers a valuable service to people in need. Just because some people with quadripeglia such as this lovely dude experience joy and lead a purposeful life does not mean that is the case for anyone.

[@natashakabwe4906]

My thought too. We all make different choices. No wonder Clark was told just to love him and respect his choice. Its a sad movie mixed with some happy moments the man on the wheelchair choose to take.

[@frances9975]

But this story doesn't need to exist. A non-disabled person did not have to write a story about a person with a disability who chooses to die because of how much he hates being disabled. It would be fine if it was a true story but since it is a fictional story that does not have to exist or be told in the way that it was, people are allowed to criticize the narrative it spreads. Rewatch the bit at 11:54 because I think it really sums up what the problem is.

[@dmtrv.m]

@@frances9975 isn’t it based on a real life story tho?

[@cyberblueangel]

Well then watch the video again, ableist genius

[@Yellowhuh5371]

@@frances9975this is honestly so pathetic. People are allow to choose what they want to watch. Just like they're allow to decide if their quality of life is so diminished after a paralyzing accident that they would rather exit early

[@Supernaturlisch]

Having worked in home care, I was IMMEDIATELY alarmed when the trailer promised a caregiver-patient love story - which goes against EVERYTHING I've ever learned in my job. So I actually never saw the movie, for this very reason. Now I'm glad I didn't, having heard how ableist it is. Thank you so much for this video. It's great that you're informing us about using people-first language!

[@KJ-ol6ef]

Thanks so much for making this video. I am currently a wheelchair user and have had friends coming up to me asking me if I have seen this 'amazing film' this week. I am deeply offended by the plot outline and also confused about why an able bodied actor is playing a character in a wheelchair. I am really worried that so many people seem to like this film and think it is a reflection on what life is like for all disabled people. Reading the other comments here I find myself reassured that not everyone is making sweeping assumptions about wheelchair users and not everyone is totally ignorant to the fact that disabled people have lives with normal stuff in them. Thank goodness.

[@puffybooks4921]

In answer to your confusion, as I have read the book (and have a spinal cord condition) the reason they had to have an able-bodied actor is because both the book and the film show Will before the accident, so if a disabled actor had took the role, they'd not be able to film those sequences.

[@KelliViti]

To CGI those scenes would be pretty easy.

[@Natsumi666]

they chose that actor and because commercial cinema has to use nice faces, that's it...

[@KelliViti]

Believe it or not, PWDs are ( opperative word ) People!!! That means, we, are a part of the population! Genetics, & the law of averages, dictates, that a pecentage of us will posess both, Physical Beauty, & Innate Talents. GO FIGURE?? ( Translation ) There are beautiful actors of both sexes, who also happen to have disabilities / use crutches / wheelchairs ext. Disabled Actors, with ( NICE FACES ) Singer / Actress / Wheelchair User

[@Natsumi666]

?????

[@jollybee515]

YOU TELL 'EM! this completely opened my eyes

[@dainoradirmeikyte3653]

I got out of the wheelchair, was close to death still recovering after 10 years. Appreciation on a different scale came. I don't know how long I live, but I have hope for a better present and future. I've been comparing myself to my better self in the past. No use really. I found some parts of the film offensive, but it is someone's imagination laid on paper, then, a film. Again, I thought there are 3 choices: 1 to watch, be critical and get upset and feel bad, when I already battle health issues 2 follow a story of love and tranformation 3 not watch it

[@arashikitty2873]

This really made me think. I've read tue book and it truly seems to be a book "from non-disabled for the non-disabled". This video really made me think about perspective and you are right. Thanks for uploading this.

[@literaryliv6364]

thank you so much for this video!! Just today I uploaded a video about my thoughts on the novel but you of course bring much more eloquence than I could, I immediately linked your video. So much criticism on this novel that I found was by able bodied people, so this perspective is much needed and appreciated.

[@johnadam5249]

Thanks for this. My wife is a wheelchair user. Sometimes life seems like one long struggle against the sort of attitudes portrayed in "Me Before You". It's refreshing to find your review and in style!

[@ChrisPage68]

Quads I know call themselves Quads. I have Spina Bifida, and call myself a Biffy.

[@GlitteryMunchkinxo]

i think its a very very personal thing. the most personal thing here is that the author is not a person with quadraplegia.

[@Laura-qn3tv]

PageMonster I have SpinaBifida aswell.... Biffy that's hilarious 😂

[@suzannemenuet947]

I also have Spina Bifida! It's not often I see multiple people in 1 setting, even online. "Buffy" is rather amusing 😂 I just prefer to be labeled as Suzanne

[@femcelgirlfren]

nice

[@missmoxie9188]

Nice

[@taraking6472]

I wish I had seen this before I watched the movie. 😭 I cried so much at the end from having wasted my emotions and time on it. I won’t even bother with the book, especially with the clear lack of research in it.

[@AngieBuha]

Apart from what you think I may say the every head it's a different world, so it would be impossible to understand because everyone sees life from its place. Neither you nor I have the right to judge others even though we may not agree with what they think. I completely agree that, living with any difficult situation doesn't have to make us simply let go of life, but as I said every head is different. I congratulate you believe that your condition is not the end of the world, however, you can not force others to think that way. In short, everyone interprets things as they want because in the end, all we are free to do so.

[@C86-x5r]

The bit that soured the ending slightly for me is the shit tonne of cash he leaves her. 'Here's a shit tonne of cash, forget about your roots and your heritage, just become a twat like me, running away from all my problems'

[@May04bwu]

I never really understood why do people get offended by stereotypes. Honestly. My illness/nationality/whatever does not define me. Criticism is needed for sure, but there's certainly no need for getting too much emotionally invested.

[@llel1416]

I know it's been two years since you commented but your comment touches many thoughts I have about the subject so I wanted to reply. I get stereotyped a lot and I'm not really offended by it, but it's tiring. It feels like people want to put in a box but either they mock you because you fit into the stereotype or they don't understand you because you don't. It's like having to compare my life, experience, passion and so on to someone that does not exist. I don't define myself by gender/ethnicity and so on, though it is of course a part of my identity, but I feel like people do. I guess I tolerate the stereotypes less and less because it feels like people never want to see me as in individual and expect me to do or say things because of the stereotypes and that I have to justify myself. I don't see stereotype as a criticism and I don't feel like it's meant to be because they can be positive or negative, but more like a shortcut in how we try to know and see people and I'm tired of it. I also don't agree about your comment saying "there's certainly no need for getting too much emotionally invested", because stereotypes can be very offensive and damaging and it invalidates the experience of people constantly having to struggle and justify themselves through the scope of stereotypes.

[@joakescarnival8303]

Thank you! I have been really confused. I do not have an injury. I only have mental disabilities. But something felt super wrong about the story and the only thing I really liked was Lou's outfits. But everyone was super into the story like it was relatable and amazing? I was so confused... I couldn't imagine how it was good at all to portray "dead is better than this" as a good romanticized ending. Thank you for clearing up my unstructured gut feeling.

[@persgodiva]

Hey Dan (I'm assuming from your Instagram handle that's your name?), would you maybe be interested in doing a video on what you thought of "Les Intouchables"? I would love to know your thoughts on it.

[@spazdaraz]

Pers Godiva Yeh his review of this film reminded me of that, albeit it’s obviously a lot shitter by the sounds of it.

[@marieke.g]

i loveee that movie. there is nothing bad to say about it really in my opinion though?

[@emmahippychic3524]

I agree with you, the ending is terribly. I can´t understand why the industry is more concerned about the negative stories, rather than positive and inspirational ones.

[@sophroniel]

OH YIKE. I am so glad I never saw it! Even the language used is pretty awful. My mobility aids are just that, they aid me and make my life better?? Just woooow. Everything about that is saying that people who are disabled aren't real people...? [BLINKING WHITE MAN GIF]

[@XYZ-nw1dh]

Sophia Neilsson.. Yeah I still find it very hard to understand why able bods see my wheelchair as such a negative thing. I waited some time to get a good one, and it's made such a difference to my independence. Plus u get to go fast on wheels again (I used to speed every day on my pushbike. Ex courier). I see my wheelchair as an unusually shaped go kart. And I ride it like one too 😎.

[@alessandradevereux4537]

Actually its an amazing movie if you actually saw it. It gave me chills and warmed my heart too. A lot of people love it because its pretty unique and original also it kinda has the same feeling after you watched the titanic which I love and I know it is offensive but the way it made me feel is just extraordinary

[@Fuzzyandfashion]

For the longest time I totally bought into this movie because of the pretty packaging but this opened my eyes completely. This video was not only clever, well made, and engaging, but extremely important. I'm definitely going to send this to all my friends.

[@Velocirampers]

I respectfully disagree with 95% of the points made in this video. The lack of research into the level of paralysis is pretty much the only thing I'm with you on.

[@Cruznick06]

Hey thank you so much for putting the time and effort into this video. While I am disabled I do not have the same disability as you and do not know much about spinal injuries. The book's premise infuriated me as my aunt used a wheelchair for cerebral palsy. She was never "confined" to her wheelchair.

[@MrCaitlinf]

Love this video! Thank you for sharing, I learned a lot. Would love to see more from you!

[@Lobstrique]

i loved it so much. expected the usual clickbait "video essay" rant but was so pleasantly surprised. loved this narrative with two yous that talk about each other as one person, as "us", it made for amazing jokes and exchanges :)

[@haydeque]

Excellent video presentation, Dan. Keep 'em coming!

[@Grade129]

Wow... i never saw the movie or read the book because it didnt seem interesting to me but this video just blows my mind. Thank you for educating me, i dont think ive ever thought of how disability is/isnt portrayed in mass entertainment.

[@JQIsabella]

Lmao i paused the video to read comments and as soon as I play again I'm hit with "what the fuck did you just say dignitas" lmaoooooo

[@tannerthelhasaapso1132]

This is very insightful and well done! You honestly could be an actor.

[@ashanonymous6634]

Hey. I just wanted to say that I fully appreciate your effort and the substance and research that went into this arguement against Me Before You. You have educated me and opened my eyes to your perspective even if I don't fully agree. I actually like Me Before You, but I also completely stand by you on the offence and ableism of how the story unfolds and how the characters are portrayed. Wherever I stand on this argument, whether it's for or against or totally inbetween, a smart person can entertain an idea without fully accepting it. And that is a lesson I learned from you along with empathy and understanding. Thank you so much for opening my eyes towards this and I can't wait to see more of your content. Have a great day -Ash :)

[@ruthwilliamson862]

THANK YOU! I hope you get a TON of view on this, this month, because Me Before You just hit Amazon Prime, and lots of people (like me) will be seeing it for the first time (NOT KNOWING that it was an awful, hours-long commercial for ableism and Dignitas!)

[@fallpath8301]

I can’t believe this is your first video! Well done 👏

[@vicenteorillo4562]

the author said the story was inspired by the football player who went to dignitas. anyway, I always wondered how the facts were accurate and i'm very happy with your review. thank you for opening my horizond regarding this book.

[@TiinkerBells]

Do not spread lies. She said it's inspired on family relative of hers.

[@jennshar67]

I read the book a few years ago and didn't think much of it. I've never met or talked to anyone with quadriplegia so I wasn't familiar with any of the points you made. But I am so glad I saw this, it really put everything in a different light. Great review!

[@6OceanSoul9]

During the whole movie we are on Lou's side, not Will's. That's why the film is so sad. We want Will to live. No one watching the movie arrived to the conclusion that disabled people have to die, no one.

[@andreahernaiz9830]

Lol at first I was worried the whole video would be like this, but the dialogue was actually really entertaining and funny. Though I did spoil myself. A lot. After starting this book I realized through reading and the internet how many issues it has. I'm not done yet but I decided to finish it (why not? you always get at least something from a book). Thanks for uploading this review, I really liked hearing your insight.

[@Peytontreehill]

I'm sorry, I don't mean to disrespect you or your opinion, not at all. I've just finished reading the book. Will's opinion and reaction to his reality is a single case. This story talks about him who could not look past the accident and this new life because he was too focused on what he couldn't do so he ended up thinking his life was worthless. This is just one case. In fact, the pleople who help Louisa in the forum are all quite happy and cheerful. Even Louisa disagrees with Will's point of view. After reading it, I still don't think it applies to every person with quadriplegia at all. As many stories of people with particular life experiences, which may end happily or sadly, this is just one case. I do agree on the use of language, though. If it's offensive, then I second your opinion. But I know some people are pissed about this story being offensive and I just think they shouldn't feel related at all. It's just another man's story.

[@sidra-sl4hs]

I agree with both of you, he is right the language is offensive but I also agree with you Vicky and you are right too. I also didn't apply it to all the disabled people to me it's just Will's personal opinion and actually, I wouldn't care if I fall in love with someone like Will this movie didn't make me be scared to be with someone with this disease.

[@megjane7]

Well yes he was depressed and unhappy learning his knew life and then killed himself, but unfortunately this is the only kind of story we get in movies and TV about people using wheelchairs. It just perpetuates the mainstream ideas by the rest of us that being in a wheelchair is the worst nightmare ever and there's no hope in sight. The writer wasn't brilliant or thoughtful when writing this story, it's only been copied about a hundred times

[@Flareontoast]

that's an amazing video!! I've seen many people online complaining about it - as well as many who loved the movie/book. and it's amazing to see a critique from someone who is actually disabled, and honestly shares their opinion and experiences. it's wonderful that you made this video and I hope you make more like this. love from Austria!!

[@6OceanSoul9]

I think you're wrong when you say "they perpetuate a myth that a life with a disability is terrible". Because every other character in the story does not want Will to die. They love him, they want him to live. But in the end, shouldn't one have the freedom to choose whether one wants to live? I watched the movie and I am not disabled so of course I have no idea of what a disabled life is like, but the movie did not give me the idea that a disabled life is terrible. No able person that I know has gotten this message from the movie. Just the disabled. I just find it a bittersweet movie about life choises, that's all.

[@leahrhead595]

This is in my top 5 favorite KZbin videos. As a non-disabled person, I was only aware of the more glaring problems with the book. I appreciate your critique of both the overt and covert ableism in the book. The stereotypes and the harmful language make this book dangerous. What's worse, the offensive language used in the story is made out to be unique to the characters with disabilities. Moyes basically created characters who, if they were real people, would belong to the disabled community, but then did not bother to do enough research to learn which words they prefer. This is especially harmful, because readers may view these characters as authority figures on language and access (I believe Lou found out about Paris' lack of accessibility to wheelchair users from her online friends, who frequently call each other "quads"). A non-disabled reader who wants to learn about people with disabilities may believe they are getting an education from the community when they are clearly not.

[@aliciamckillop2738]

It’s not offensive! It would be offensive if people in the movie thought he had no value or no reason to live . Everyone in the movie wanted him to live. It’s he himself who did not want to. He had right to feel the way he did, whether you agree with him or not You can’t tell someone how to feel or think it’s wrong just because you don’t agree . Of course, disabled people have value and can live full happy lives. They actually show you this in the movie he just chose not to. The movie is about choice right or wrong . It’s not a movie about showing disabled people are useless quite the opposite. It shows he has loving family and can find love. It’s a love story sad as it is

[@Clara-oq9wn]

This is amazing! I grew up around people with different kinds of disabilities (my mum works with them) and they all live their individual lives with ups and downs like anyone - so I also found the book very frustrating and one-sided. Please keep spreading your message!

[@curleysioux5612]

I love the amount of education in this video. And you're not insulting anyone, just trying to help make the world a better place. P.S. eventually I forgot you were a wheelchair user. Just saying. And I super love the tiara. Haha

[@singularity3656]

I wrote a big paragraph but felt that I couldn’t correctly frame my thoughts into words. I don’t completely agree with you and I think some of your arguments are a little harsh just because the experiences particular to you represent one side of the story. Anyways I respect that you made this video and expressed your thoughts and I if given a chance will definitely have a long calm discussion with you. Thank You 🙏🏾

[@moondancer72]

As a Disabled person who was born disabled and has faught long and hard I disagree with you! This book and movie isn't about you, nor is it your take on the world around you. Not everything that mirrors a real disability has to be fact based. Its a romantic comedy.

[@EZIOXXX777]

Senpais favorite, look stupid? How? Him being depressed and suicidal and choosing to die over living life as a disabled person?

[@tealsalm0n]

i’m a big fan of the conversation format, it answers a lot of questions before i even ask them. awesome stuff!

[@333calvero]

I love how he is able to "spoil" the plot for himself 😂

[@mehrkitab4503]

There's a lot in this video I was nodding along with but may I just say, you sir have the only Canadian accent I have ever been able to pick up on!

[@kiwicraner2538]

you are my favourite person on the internet