Why Is Everyone Acting Like A Victim? - Rob Henderson (4K)

Rob Henderson is a PhD candidate at the University of Cambridge and a US Air Force Veteran.
Humans are an odd species. We know truths on our own but choose to lie in groups. Our thinking gets hijacked by social norms, paths of least resistance, lies and half truths. It's a mess out there, but thankfully there's ideas we can discover to help us navigate.
Expect to learn what the friendship paradox is, how we can fix the mate deprivation problem, what green flags most women look for in men, the relationship between social media and hostility, why people reason more wisely about others’ problems rather than their own, what Rob's thoughts are on the most recent wave of the body positivity movement and much more…
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#men #masculinity #victimhood
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00:00 Do All Your Friends Have More Friends Than You?
07:15 The Internet Isn’t the Real World
15:43 Digging Deeper Into Young Male Syndrome
32:12 The Privilege of the Ideal Upbringing
40:20 How People Reacted to The Two-Parent Privilege
47:25 Chads Are More Misogynistic than Incels
54:20 How Social Cues Change with Higher Status
1:01:02 Is Listening to Joe Rogan a Turn-Off?
1:07:15 The Cause of Women’s Declining Happiness
1:16:39 The Rule of Surplus Mate Value
1:25:20 Rob’s New Book
1:27:24 Why Female Ovulation is Concealed
1:32:37 We Make Wiser Decisions For Others than For Ourselves
1:40:53 Why Men Can’t Talk Face to Face
1:48:13 Where to Find Rob
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Get in touch in the comments below or head to...
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[@ChrisWillx]

Hello you beauties. Access all episodes 10 hours earlier than KZbin by Subscribing on Spotify - spoti.fi/2LSimPn or Apple Podcasts - apple.co/2MNqIgw. Here’s the timestamps: 00:00 Do All Your Friends Have More Friends Than You? 07:15 The Internet Isn’t the Real World 15:43 Digging Deeper Into Young Male Syndrome 32:12 The Privilege of the Ideal Upbringing 40:20 How People Reacted to The Two-Parent Privilege 47:25 Chads Are More Misogynistic than Incels 54:20 How Social Cues Change with Higher Status 1:01:02 Is Listening to Joe Rogan a Turn-Off? 1:07:15 The Cause of Women’s Declining Happiness 1:16:39 The Rule of Surplus Mate Value 1:25:20 Rob’s New Book 1:27:24 Why Female Ovulation is Concealed 1:32:37 We Make Wiser Decisions For Others than For Ourselves 1:40:53 Why Men Can’t Talk Face to Face 1:48:13 Where to Find Rob

[@Thomas7Lawson]

Rob was great this year at the All-In Summit. As someone who had a similar path to Rob's, I really appreciate his desire and commitment to challenge preconceived notions, even if it means offending people. I suspected this episode was coming, and I'm glad it did. Looking forward to doing an episode with him in the future and reading his book. Keep 'em coming Chris!

[@ritalewis1021]

Thank you for stress free podcasts.

[@zaydeshaddox7015]

Hey Chris, won't you please interview Camille Paglia?... while she's still alive?

[@stargazer440]

Excellent talk. Holy shit! “Big 5 is astrology for boys” ! Whoever said that should have said “Astrology is for people who value understanding personality type but don’t know about the Big 5 (and like magical thinking)”😂

[@iTellaThePun]

If you're not familiar with RH, he has lived a life! He was abandoned by his dad, and his mother was a drug addict. He went through the foster system until he joined the US Air Force at 17. From that start in life to a PhD at Cambridge is interesting story. No wonder he is not particularly woke.

[@anthonybrett]

"No wonder he is not particularly woke." That being said, its my experience that most people aren't really woke. Wokeness is a fringe with a very big mouth.

[@JaceFalcon]

He's still and exception, con artist. It's not the rule

[@kronos458]

that's a story

[@semafreak]

@@JaceFalcon You tarded man?

[@Rufio1975]

I'm a child of an immigrant. Father was an alcoholic. Beat my mother. Poor. I joined the Marines. Now I have a degree in Industrial machines. Electrical and mechanical. I own a 5 bedroom house with a pool and a large fireplace. Keep acting like a victim. I'm fine with that. More opportunities for me and my family the way I see it.

[@robkhenderson]

Thanks again for the invitation man. I always enjoy our conversations.

[@zeldagoblin]

Lovely conversation, boys. You have a nice manner, Rob. Easy to listen to.

[@anisenkrill6179]

Keep up the good work Rob.

[@gabchomp]

super glad that this episode exists!! I remember the episode with Dr. Peterson about luxury beliefs quite vividly and feels like such a throwback to hear your thoughts again :D

[@worldofwisdomx]

that seatbelt discussion...I've got another theory. Men just feel more safe when being around other men. At least that's how I usually feel being a male with my male friends.

[@punanislayer]

It's great to see two NPC having conversation about reality and what is true. 😂

[@rorystruthers]

Even with all of the many brilliant guests you've had recently, I still think Rob Henderson ranks right at/near the top.

[@tempsoda]

Glad to see Rob getting the full 4K Modern Wisdom cinema episode treatment he deserves! 👑👏🏼 Always a pleasure to hear him speak.

[@Aye-Fresh]

What I like about Rob Henderson is he is very skilled at stepping back and analysing something objectively, giving sometimes uncomfortable insights without guilt or apologising for the data, just kind of stating a fact as it is. (Nobody is 100% objective, but Rob does it better than most)

[@evanmichael3387]

That's the scout mindset, my friend.

[@Aye-Fresh]

That's cool! I just googled the term and will read the book@@evanmichael3387

[@windhorse3889]

Have two friends. That is all I need or want. People are exhausting

[@the_eerie_faerie_tales]

I feel that. I want to WANT it more, but it feels unnatural. I'm too much of an introvert. As with a lot of things in life, the idea of something (like being more social) is better than reality.

[@anonony9081]

I feel the exact same way. I have a friend I hang out with on Fridays and a friend I hang out with on Saturday or Sunday. That's more than enough for me

[@Snakeit100]

Genuinely maintaining relationships is exhausting. As someone who is very introverted I have a limited capacity for social interaction and have a handful of friends and a number of acquaintances. That's all I want or need. I treasure my time alone because it allows me time to reflect, collect my thoughts and plan for later.

[@MrJREllman]

Acquaintances are important.

[@AageKush]

Braggart.

[@wisdomandy9361]

I think the Red Pill can be summed up pretty easily by understanding a quote from this podcast. "Women become objectified when they become womanly, men become objectified when they become rare". Objectification is suggestive of being desired. Understanding this concept is probably difficult for the younger audience but it's so fucking true. Also, an important context to this is understanding that "rare" can and is often dependant on the perception of who's perceiving what's rare to them. ( For women to desire men )

[@tempsoda]

Also being objectified as a woman is a very different experience to being objectified as a man, I would imagine. I think this is where the red pill goes wrong. They see women getting the thing they want (attention/desire from the opposite sex) and feel like they are ungrateful for it. But if a woman shows desire to a man he probably feels special, where when women get that from men they can often feel like a gazelle looking at a lion. 😂

[@wisdomandy9361]

@@tempsoda I mean you're not wrong. But that's balance right? Because the thing that makes men desired and objectified being more difficult, the thing that's easier will come with downsides given it's easy. Not saying it's right. But even today people are naive to not understand this dynamic.

[@hungrymusicwolf]

@@tempsoda You're mistaken about the experience of being objectified being different for women and men. Women don't want to be objectified today because they have plenty of it, however when men become rare women start wanting attention just as bad. Attention is a little bit like food but for the social part of our brain so imagine this: women are being given food left right and center. They have their shelves stocked, people are throwing food through their windows, walking up to them on the street and shoving food in their hands. Quite frankly it's annoying. While men are starving to death on the streets. Which is why men think women like to be given food. However when the men become rare the people throwing food (attention) in women's direction go away. Now women are starving on the street, and as there are very few men to receive all the food (attention) from women to few men they get plenty. Quite frankly it's becoming annoying and makes them dislike women. They still want sex, but they don't like the constant attention. Quite frankly today is a typical situation of "you don't know what you have until you lose it" for women. Which is also why a lot of women at 40 are surprised how they suddenly don't get any attention anymore. Which then results in them feeling "happy to feel desired" by others again. Aka, they like the attention because they weren't getting enough making them feel undesired. So no, the experience of being objectified isn't different for men. It's just the situation that is different for men and women. A lot of men are undesired by women and throwing a lot of attention towards them to try and feel even a little positive about themselves, and it's the opposite for women.

[@tempsoda]

@@hungrymusicwolf I totally understand where you're coming from and I do agree with some aspects. I think you're right about the supply and demand thing and older women valuing attention more as they rarely get it. However, I also think that given the massive physical differences between us, it's hard to argue that objectification would elicit the same reaction from women as men. For instance, I was out with work friends last night and was stood at the bar waiting to be served. I got that feeling you get when someone is looking at you, when I turned around there was a literal biker gang that had just walked through the doors. Now I'm telling you from experience that as a 5ft 3 woman, having 10 big, burley, bearded, leather-clad bikers stare at you, definitely doesn't make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside! 😂 Actually my friend had met one of them before and he seemed like a nice bloke, but I doubt a man would have felt intimidated in the same way if it had been a group of women smiling and twiddling their hair at him.

[@tempsoda]

@@wisdomandy9361 of course, the dynamic cannot be the same because men and women aren't the same. But I don't think the downsides that come with attention for women are a consequence of it being easy, I think that's just a consequence of being the weaker sex. We inherently know and understand that we are at a huge physical disadvantage, and that if sh*t goes down, we're screwed. That's why there's always an ambient feeling of intimidation (with men you don't know). At least thats my experience, of course I don't speak for all women.

[@ARR409]

Love hearing Rob Henderson talk. The guy is so grounded and doesn’t separate himself from his roots.

[@ebony-jane]

1:21:28 This has solved a mystery for me! I worked at a university and thought all academics were stand offish and big noted themselves. But then I got a job in a much more prestigious university and found the staff to be very warm, relaxed and self deprecating. This makes sense now!

[@ilovebutterstuff]

One thing I don't agree with is the disgust with people who play videogames. It's Saturday. You're single and a bit of an introvert. You've done your pushups, sit-ups, etc. Ate a good breakfast. What's wrong with firing up the old PlayStation for a few hours?

[@swedishpagan2150]

It's an easy target, I never had anyone dare trash talking video games to my face however.

[@dirkdisco2316]

Video games is how I unwind after work.

[@erikahopespencer9077]

Agree! It is just a question of degree and if you use it to tune out of life/relationships/purpose entirely.

[@user-mq2vh1vq4y]

It's frustrating where he pokes fun at the guy going on the raid in wow. Nobody thinks they are actually going on a raid like he implies, is literally just what the activity is called in the game.

[@Punicia]

They just want something to attack because they feel pathetic themselves

[@RobertMullis]

Everyone is acting like victims because they are children mentally. Having to be grown up and accountable is hard.

[@theryanspics]

Chris wondered how many people were following Jordan Peterson just because others were reminded me of something I saw in college. One club decided to do a treasure hunt at a local mall (early 2000s) and had random people go to the mall and act like regular shoppers. The club members had to get the people to sign a paper so they could prove how many individuals they had recognized. One guy wore a cowboy hat, cowboy boots, jeans, and dark glasses, he looked like he could have been a country singer. One group from the club realized who he was and had gathered around him getting him to sign their papers and another group did as well. Some shoppers saw them and joined in and even asked for his autograph. He was just a random guy but the shoppers left thinking they had just met someone famous.

[@SoloRenegade]

people are hivemind in groups, more so than anyone wants to admit.

[@nnotny]

I know I socialize less than others and go to fewer parties because I rarely spend time with anyone when I'm not at work, and I'm almost always with just one person at a time when I'm with anybody. I don't socialize in bulk. And I probably have attended 6 parties in the last 30 years. This is all intentional. I've always had a solitary streak and it's gotten much stronger in the past 10 years.

[@swedishbaker919]

As a woman, I love the JRE podcast and have for years. Not because I'm a Pick Me, but because it's just great content. If a woman thinks listening to JRE is a red flag, she's probably just projecting

[@Papaconstantopoulos]

Man this conversation is JAM packed with modern wisdom, channel really living up to its name :)

[@seriously688]

My best friend that I adore is the same guy from our youth. He’s the one that will make fun of you for wearing a seatbelt. Always think making fun of you is bonding. And has the old school mindset about gay guys. After 20 years of knowing the guy he told me one night he had been molested. And that he feels that tough guy thing is welded to his personality now as he used it so long as a defensive mechanism . He never wanted to be called weak /feminine / or accused of liking men because of his experience. We have started having conversations we have never had before. And I’ve seen some positive changes in him and overall happiness increase. I’ve started to have more in depth conversations with my dad now as well who has the tough guy thing deep in his bones. Being macho is wonderful in ways and compliments femininity it can protect people you love it can protect you etc. The real problem I feel is unchecked masculinity .. both raised by fathers that forced the macho point home but never talked about emotion or how to be a healthy male that knows when his animal nature is hurting others / himself.

[@shamz2]

Always been a big fan of Rob.

[@TheZGALa]

I grew up a tomboy, so spent a lot of time in social circles of men, and often notice they seem much more competetive and sensitive towards other men in general--a female presence generally 'ups the ante' of the competitiveness, but it seems to have more to do with impressing other men than impressing the woman.

[@filthyminges]

Tomboy is a huge red flag bet you were ran through and used up by dozens of bad boys

[@stephenmartland-buck9590]

If you can beat them in competition you have already nullified them in pursuit of a mate. If there is only one female in the group, they are ALL competing for the same single thing.

[@TheZGALa]

Best keep raising our daughters to believe they should want to be stupid and weak then? ;) Maybe we are capable of rising above the lowest levels of consciousness and engaging in more nuanced relationships. I am still exploring the possibilities.@@stephenmartland-buck9590

[@Zayden.Marxist]

Nailed it. It's sad but true.

[@TheKarlslok]

Strange how you claim to be a Tomboy and having spent a lot of time among men, while obviously not having learned anything at all about men.

[@manusha1349]

I love Rob! ❤❤❤ Such a unique, fresh perspective on things. Thanks for this, Chris

[@TheZGALa]

Thanks for another great conversation!

[@jonathan4831]

This conversation seems to be geared towards people in their teens and 20s. I'm in my mid 30s and could care less if my friends have more friends, sex, money, etc. Qualitative vs quantitative.

[@erikahopespencer9077]

to be fair that was a tiny segment of a long discussion...

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

The older you get, the less you care what others have

[@pecoguy]

The discussion was not about that. This "friend paradox" is information from social network studies. Why it's matter ? That's mean people with more friends/sexual partner are seen everywhere, and their behavior is seen as more widespread that it really is. I advice to look at nicky case "wisdom and/or madness of the crowd" for internet the real value of that paradox. It's about distortion of the perceived reality.

[@spennny1000]

I've just subscribed after watching my way through the second jordan peterson video...your insight on 1hr 7:55 why take someone down who has no status..... helped me with what I'm going through with my family...

[@BigDiscussions76]

As a smaller print and video content creator, this discussion about content creators, engagers and lurkers is fascinating and reassuring.

[@carlotapuig]

Terrific episode. I loved it. Rob is truly based and calm.

[@robroy6072]

"Womens emotional intelligence" I dont see it. I hear all about it, but I dont see it.

[@TheKarlslok]

Women are emotionally manipulative, but to make it seem like a good thing women and their women-worshipping men call it emotional intelligence instead.....

[@stavrosgazis5824]

Clicked for the title, stayed for the voice, wowed by the knowledge!

[@chrisjeanneret5091]

I'm not (too) old, but as a kid I remember TV ads for big brothers (I suppose they are still around), even though single mothers were less common back then. The importance of male mentorship wasn't controversial.

[@joecoolioness6399]

Lack of good make role models is the #1 reason we have so many young men that have no idea how to be men. I don't care how is offended by this, this is reality. We have incentivized women to get pregnant and men to not marry them for fear of losing benefits. Too late now though, no putting that genie back in the bottle.

[@the_eerie_faerie_tales]

Chris, have you ever thought about doing book reviews of the books you mention in your videos? Or maybe a wrap-up of all the books at the end of the year? I'm a huge reader and I've purchased a couple books mentioned so far either by you or your guests (like books they've authored). That would be super helpful. Just an idea. ☺

[@AustinNovel]

He has a concise reading list of his favorites you can Google. When looking for a useful improvement book it’s my first stop

[@the_eerie_faerie_tales]

@@AustinNovel oh my goodness, thank you!!

[@zeldagoblin]

In the description, there's a link to his top 100, he will email it to you

[@the_eerie_faerie_tales]

@@zeldagoblin thank you!!

[@Ifailedeverything]

59:24 this is how David Bowie raised his star status. He paid people to act like excited fans and hangers on. People would think he was someone important and join the queue to get autographs or the press would include him as one of the glitterati attending a party or a show when he was actually an unknown.

[@Zarih67]

Good one. Listened this morning to the podcast. 😊

[@lucyanneanne5411]

There are Friends and then there are Friends. You just need to know who will be there for you when you REALLY REALLY REALLY need a friend. That’s all you need and Thank God that , that person/ persons would be there for you. Know them and always be there for them too. You guys know who you are and l love you dearly. Remember that it not anything to do with money, far from it. Xox

[@devilsoffspring5519]

If you REALLY REALLY REALLY DESPERATELY need a friend, you're probably better off by yourself because people will fuck with you big-time if you're at that point in your life!

[@bhorleston]

Everyone is acting like a victim because they are perceiving it as a way to increase social standing

[@joecoolioness6399]

victimhood is an identity and you know how great identity politics is

[@johanvoellner1849]

And it provides an unconscious defense mechanism to make me feel better for my shitty existance. Young people have been raised in the midst of financial crises, sanitary emergencies etc, and its more difficult for them to have what their parents had at their age, so to them life truly sucks and they feel they have been let down by the system. Being a victim will surely soothe me a bit, even if its a vert inefficient way to do it. That and the lack of discipline and resilience and sacrifice that the younger generations have, maybe caused by extreme helicopter parenting, just makes it easier for everyone to perceive themselves as victims and feel good about it.

[@user-yw9zz8wq8q]

I’ve really enjoyed this conversation, way to go!

[@toms7114]

Rob asked if the men who have stepped out on society will still do so while older, well, I'm a 38 year old Male who has stepped out of the job market entirely in 2020 and I lived on my own from my investments and savings since then. I was a software engineer. I did design work, and have a patent in my name for the design work I did. I saw no point in continuing to buy in to the system when I had to put up with diversity training that made everything my fault because of the micro aggressions I was committing against others by behaving in a fashion consistent with the American culture I grew up in. I got tired of always being afraid of saying the wrong thing and being accused of sexual harassment and getting black balled and having my future employment opportunities ruined. I got tired of, even though I was making good money and had 20% down, being unable to afford the mortgage payments on even the cheapest of the homes near the office. I got tired of the constant low grade oppression that was office life for low level white male employees. I got tired of all the age appropriate women either having children which require lots of attention to deal with their problems, or women that are so crazy that getting involved with them would just lead to pain and that was obvious on the first date. I saw no point in continuing within a system that decided I was the problem and no longer had the American Dream of a wife and kids with a beautiful house with that white picket fence. When even when you do everything right, and you still can't have the promised future from doing so, and you are constantly being degraded in small ways and told you are part of the problem, there is little reason to stay as part of the system that clearly doesn't want you.

[@albertoweinrichter5441]

Amen. We are in a similar situation and could not be more in agreement with you

[@soacker25]

Same here🙋🏻‍♂️👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼

[@gonnabecold]

Do you see the irony of your post? I feel you missed the point of this podcast. Men shouldn't step out of society. Men should accept change. However, they should also engage and challenge societal changes they disagree with (speak up). Stay positive, good luck!

[@toms7114]

@@gonnabecold I agree that all men should follow the stoic philosophy that what you mention is a part of. Yet there comes a time when the burdens placed upon a man who stands tall against the crowd that clamors against what he knows is right becomes to heavy to bear. That burden is especially hard to bear when any attempted discourse is marginalized by them claiming you have an identity that superficially fits, but is a false appellation which they refuse to hear or understand, which makes your opinion have no weight on this issue. There is only so long a man can be belittled, bullied, and dismissed before drastic options become the only options left to take. I consulted with my friends at other companies, and in other industries and I realized it was the same there as it was where I worked. So I took the most effective drastic action I could. I stepped out from society. I will rejoin when the self delusional hypocrites that support DEI realize that true diversity of thought comes not from racial or cultural backgrounds, but instead economic backgrounds, as the research has shown repeatedly. That telling people that everything they do causes injury, while ignoring that they themselves are causing injury by saying that. That just because a person can be labelled as part of a group does not mean that everyone in the group is the same and should be treated the same. I fought the fight, and I took my licks, but no individual can fight the institutions that pay their salary and win. The change that is needed to happen won't happen until there are institutions that can help individuals stand tall and bear the burdens that are placed upon them. The burdens being placed upon men these days are not just the burdens of their making, but instead the retribution of those who hold our male ancestors in contempt for what they did to ensure that their children thrived. Keep the hope within you bright, and may you walk through life with your head held high.

[@TheZGALa]

Just yesterday I was telling a new friend of mine that I feel like recent years the hateful behavior by my 'farther left leaning' friends and family has pushed me towards the right--looking through that political lens I think we need to remember that we can disagree, have different perspectives, and still get along or even have a good time/build functional institutions together.

[@freebornaiden7666]

Do you find 'the right' to be any less hateful?

[@dasein9980]

​@@freebornaiden7666the left is certainly more ruthless, if nothing else.

[@TheZGALa]

Lately yes, very much, much to my surprise. I did not see that coming. @@freebornaiden7666

[@TheZGALa]

To my current perspective, trying to identify "left' from 'right' is not helping much. Name calling and closed mindedness, blaming the 'other' is not going to get us through this next evolutionary cycle. I have been wrong a lot though, so it will be interesting to see. We are ALL ONE to my perception...and of course, the Universe revolves around me. ;) @@freebornaiden7666

[@TheZGALa]

Though I feel silly for that, as it is the way of the yin-yang spin we are in.

[@LAP02]

So f'ing sick of this victim mentality. It's everywhere.

[@Orson2u]

Who else is looking forward to getting Rob Henderson’s new book?

[@christineniedziela5454]

Chris, comment on monk mode is true!!! People you interact with have a box they view you from and rather we realize it or not words have power. This means when someone interacts with you based on past perception of who you are to them it kind of creates a wall you have to break through inorder to be seen in a different way. Sometimes you need that space to grow and change ... Like a cocoon for a butterfly. When you see those people again the change is done and you have had time to make it solid with in yourself so their preconceived view of you can't make the change hard to accomplish anymore. We all see ourselves through other people and confirm our views of ourselves based on how others react.

[@clifm]

Thanks!

[@VolatilityTradingStrategies]

The definition of "unemployment" in Economics only counts people who are actively trying to seek employment but can't. What's missing in the data is an ALARMING number of young men who otherwise could work, but are simply choosing not to.

[@jacksonvandyke]

And here I am, literally playing World of Warcraft while listening to this episode.

[@Primalxbeast]

I'm somewhat jealous. I haven't had a computer for 6 years, and I loved WoW, but the game isn't what it used to be. I'm a woman, and I was in my 30s when I started playing and remember a good number of other women and people who weren't kids playing even though there were probably a lot of young guys playing. And since the game came out in 2004, and a lot of people kept playing, the players have also aged. He didn't seem to know anything about the game, so I guess it shouldn't be surprising that he may have been a bit off about the demographic playing the game. He also seemed to have a negative view of gaming in general.

[@Bjorn_R]

According to spotify im apparently in top 0.5% of your listeners Chris. Loving the ride so far, keep cranking them out !

[@stvbrsn]

What does that mean? “In the top 0.5% of your listeners?”

[@jake-rg3tf]

Saying there are only 2 genders is probably seen as extreme among women because you would lose social capital among other women for saying it. As a man, you're not as pressured to say things you don't believe to avoid vicious social persecution. Its part social observation and part hypothesis, but that kind of reality rejection wouldn't make sense unless theres a juxtaposition between truth and social consequences.

[@trevor7514]

I haven't persued a girl in like 3 years and I just turned 28 lol I'm not braging at all but I am in shape and have a great job but 0 intrest in finding a chick to settle down with. I also live in NJ and the women here behave like men so maybe I gotta move down south 😂

[@mattayoubi9829]

I’ve been following Rob for a couple of years now. He’s one of the reasons why I’m in psychology grad school - his work is unbelievably interesting.

[@BatmanBoss]

Love this guy ❤

[@beatahoffman6851]

Two factors to consider when thinking about why women’s happiness went down by such a large percentage are that most women are expected to work and be the primary caregiver for any children and also do the bulk of the housework. As seen in studies like: Gender Inequality in Household Chores and Work-Family Conflict by Javier Cerrato and Eva Cifre 2018. Women unhappy because our ‘promotion to the workplace’ lead to double the work instead of sharing the work.

[@joecoolioness6399]

Women expect men to pick up the slack at home. This just doesn't happen. Not sure what to do about it. I try to do my share but ultimately the bulk is done by my wife. Now I am not sitting around doing nothing while she does the dishes, but somehow she ends up doing most of it still.

[@DennisNeijmeijer]

As long as those are the things women are good at and men are expected to do the heavy lifting jobs. everything is balanced enough. Balance can be achieved with 70\30 against 30\70 no problem.

[@awsambdaman]

@joecoolioness6399 my suggestion is to find the chore you hate the least (for me it’s dishes cause I can listen to a podcast and just chill) and just start doing it one day. Like if your wife is at work and you’re home for the day just start doing some chores. And then you say to your wife “hey I did the dishes today, what if that just becomes my regular chore” and for my relationship my wife was so happy because she hates dishes but doesn’t mind doing laundry. I wouldn’t want to do laundry regularly cause I suck at folding. I never have any complaints from the wife cause I’d say I do a solid 50% of the duties. Feeding/giving water to the cats everyday, dishes everyday (or almost everyday), anything repairs/maintenance related, helping putting away folded laundry, helping with cooking, helping with grocery shopping. She plans all the meals and plans what foods to buy and does the majority of the cleaning and laundry work. And she works just as many hours as I do. We’re pretty happy with our split but things will change when we have kids and she will not work as many hours so more housework and childcare for her in the future

[@bryanbrowning5746]

IMHO, the way males are raised and what they observe during childhood naturally influences how much of the daily chores they are willing to take on. My Mom was a “homemaker” in my childhood, but my Dad made sure that I helped out with the dishes, hauling laundry for her, picking up after myself, etc, and he did the same, even though he worked full time. We had a TV, but it was rarely turned on, as I was encouraged to find outdoor activities, or read a meaningful book in the evening, after all the work was done. After 40 years of marriage and having raised 3 boys, I still have a hard time sitting still. Still don’t watch TV, MSM news, and usually listen to these podcasts while engaged in a household chore, or working in my shop. My wife and I both worked full time and equally shared the load. Tapping this out while eating lunch, then off to split firewood. I’m not perfect, but I find more satisfaction in DOING, rather than watching others(sports, movies, etc) perform for me. I think that if more men would be willing to share the mundane duties of household work, that their wives/partners would be not just happier, but more at ease, knowing that should something happen to them(yes, death or disability), that their husband/partner would be able to handle the responsibilities on their own.

[@Patson20]

This is only true If you actively exclude "men's chores" from housework. Like almost all feminist stats it's manipulated in a misandrist fashion to support the ideology

[@ivanbenisscott]

loved the wide angle in this episode

[@HudsonHandel]

My favorite recurring guest.

[@hyperretroactivehyperretro5992]

Friends are for the young. Relationships are for the wise.

[@keeleythompson1644]

Astrology to women is what video games are to men, living in fictional realities & feeling empowered by them :)

[@oliverman6168]

When weaknesses cannot be discovered,you are not looking hard enough.

[@justineking5643]

I seem to perceive social media content differently than many as when I go on social media I get disappointed and annoyed at how dull people are.

[@polysaturated]

I’m always surprised at how addicted to social media people in the media, be it corporate or new media, are. How often these conversations are about what someone said on Twitter or whatever. It’s kinda like watching “reality tv”, just junk media.

[@charlescoulter7872]

Difficulty doesn't equal value. We equate doing difficult things as validation of achievement. Achievement is subjective and its value changes based on scarcity of other individuals decision in a given time within the market. The crumble of societal progression isn't any one class equality but the overall depiction that all classes should capitulate their time for vision of success based on faith the few will provide for many.

[@PaulVanderKlay]

Oh good! Rob is great!

[@ebony-jane]

Can’t wait for you to clip The Solomons Paradox section so I can share ✌🏼

[@bigheadrhino]

20:47 I would be very curious to see if the study on sexual partner number prediction on male perception of toughness vs female perception on attractiveness had an inverse effect on longterm mating success. Number of sexual partners for men does not necessarily mean could equally mean that females did not want them for long. Females may choose tough guys for protection in dangerous situations or even in times of war females might have survived by pairing with the tough men of the opposing side as a survival strategy, but for longterm mating in relative peacetime a female might prefer an attractive face to mate with repeatedly. I think too much Redpill think erroneously believes that all men automatically want shortterm and all women want longterm but the real world stats in free society in the absence of coercion say, the reality of male and female preferences play out differently than what convention would assume.

[@johnsmith1474]

I work with 25 people, and NONE of them act the victim. Half have serious damage from years of work, half have debt, half have drug, bad marriage, or dysfunctonal family issues. NONE display any sense of being a victim. Taken together the lot of us wouldn't respect it if they did, which may be a clue. Victimization that is respected is self reinforcing.

[@2Ten1Ryu]

If men bond well over common projext or doing work together - does this also work for people you don't initially like? I ask because at work I have a very toxic boss who is known to verbally abuse people all the time, yet my male coworker who works with him in the same department and the same office says he still kinda likes him. I cannot comprehend the reasons, as this colleague knows how our boss can be. But it still seems like they bonded over something that is stronger than the obvious abuse and work stress that is going on...

[@dvntlife]

Man, the fact that male sedation hypothesis is picking up steam is so fuckin dope. Bro science FTW

[@alexjoh13]

"Everyone needs a lawn mower" is my new catchphrase. Lovely Chris.

[@skiefnijssen9902]

nice podcast man, where do you buy youre t shirts?

[@JacobGorny]

55:20 way more narcissists surround you once you have something they wish to associate with themselves.

[@Leo-mr1qz]

In the 70's women were able to stay home, raise the children, take care of the home, and provide her husband emotional support and love. Nowadays, both parents work, the childcare is pushed off onto strangers, the pressures to keep the household afloat are on both parties, and the intimacy between partners has diminished. For single females, they are married to a job, working for a man, (most likely), that is not their husband, no children to care for and no family dynamic to thrive in. I can certainly see why females are less happy. Males don't need a family unit as much as a woman does. Woman are losing the battle of contentment, as well as, seemingly getting farther and farther away from happiness as time goes on, in my opinion.

[@jn3750]

Look at what the US armed forces have done to this man (and many others)!

[@livenotbylies]

RH is brilliant. Love to hear him think

[@Semaj671]

Can someone link the David Putz study he is referring to in 20:24 ?

[@3rdGeorgesheets]

Damn Chris! Just dropping banger after banger.. Fucking lovin it 😁

[@kronos458]

Episodes with Rob are packed with nuggets.

[@globusdiablo]

No chapters?

[@AllAmericanEric]

Thanks for letting me know where to send all the kisses on February 23rd, Chris 😘😘

[@renaissancemanreviews3409]

Kind of a misleading title on this vid, but a stimulating conversation nonetheless

[@justanothernick3984]

On the red flag - green flag study, have you done a poll on your listeners; how many are in a long-term relationship and how many are dating, single, other... Would be nice to see if the Rogan effect applies here too as this also is somewhat a bro-sciency talkshow.

[@ThomasAndersonPhD]

27:30 Every time he raises this point, the idea that some men are *actually suffering from disability* is ignored. I don't get why Chris finds this idea to be so sticky. Lots of men have real disabilities that render them (i) unable to work and (ii) in need of medication to help with pain. Painting them as if disability was their choice sucks.

[@Patson20]

Mostly because the number of those too disabled to work at all is a small portion of those not seeking work.

[@ThomasAndersonPhD]

@@Patson20 [citation needed]

[@mikeh7842]

Is there something to the separate studies showing women have dramatically shifted left politically and also that women are dramatically less happy?

[@elliottstevens8564]

@17:30 was his name Kyle?

[@devilsoffspring5519]

Weakness isn't a virtue but neither is being antisocial & belligerent as hell ("strong" in popular parlance, at least here in Canada) and being even-tempered is considered boring.

[@sayrebonifield4663]

There is no paradox. This is an illusion created by using friend to mean two different things within a single claim. But, very few people would bother to listen to a conversation about “the acquaintance paradox” or “the follower paradox”.

[@risingdamp220gaming6]

I've had a lot of great conversations while tossing a football back and forth.

[@John83118]

The profound narrative of this content is a wellspring of wisdom. A similar book I read provided life-changing insights and perspectives. "The Art of Meaningful Relationships in the 21st Century" by Leo Flint

[@johnwinkowski3154]

Young males from Portugal in the 1800s being sent out to "a new world"? Pretty sure you have that date off by about 400 years.

[@chipcook5346]

The stripper thing: This is the same thing that happens with the angry man. Ever watch a video of a woman having a bad day? Suddenly, those dudes jump on it -- "See, all women are demons! My ex-wife stole all my money and took the kids!"? Always interesting to respond with a "She seems fine, and her behavior is in rational boundaries for that situation." Thanks for the heads-up on the Two Parent Privilege. As for foster kids, I don't know about the UK, but in the USA, a foster kid ages out at eighteen. Regardless of how stable their childhoods were, once they are adults and with no firm support, they tend to get to work, not go on with further schooling.

[@budrothefox3666]

There's a trend on this podcast of giving too much credit to statistics and percentages. Science and math matter some amount when trying to solve social issues but there's so much nuance and it's way beyond surveys and stats.

[@Laocoon283]

Pretending you don't have weaknesses is not a virtue either...

[@killermonjero]

That friend "paradox" they start the show with is not weird at all. It is perfectly normal.

[@RealityCheck1]

You are extroverted to things you like & introverted to things you dislike. Psychology defines these terms in a very wrong manner (black & white). They exist in a spectrum. Do more of what you like to do & you will be happy. Also, do that while eliminating dislikes actively.

[@aman-jt6si]

Hi chris i am huge fan from india i always wanted to be a gamer but i always scared of negativity can you pls recomend any podcast to overcome this

[@snotrohmitabc123]

Stop caring about what other people think. If you want to be a gamer, go and give it your best shot.

[@notBeggingMattandLissy2PlayRE4]

Think about other people in terms closer to reality. For example imagine them taking a sht just like you do, suffering just like you do and sometimes screwing things up. Then realize that none of them pay your bills, that the only thing both literally and metaphysically that you have is "yourself," then realize that your experience and life on this planet is more valuable than whatever they might think.

[@dirkdisco2316]

Stop caring what others think. Enjoy!

[@stvbrsn]

“I always wanted to be a gamer.” I don’t even know what this means.

[@vincenzo2689]

​@@stvbrsnwhat are you even saying bro

[@JSiracusan]

I feel like these conversations are just going on about like common sense in many ways. So much research done to prove common sense. Young male syndrome, yeah it's called High T. Joseph Heinreich, on the show awhile ago now, knows all about it's propensity to promote more risky behavior. As cultural norms around religion and monogamy are slipping we are moving back toward our more polygamous/polyamorous human animal roots. Because Religion is essentially a Human spirit type endeavor. One way to look at it is Human spirit recognizes the animal root and made provisions for it within religious norms. Of course, there are different levels of consciousness within religion from fundamentalist to guru/preacher(maybe). Surplus mate value ie: getting away with it. Yep, common sense... if you have more money and more resources you can get away with more... I loved the bit South park did on Mr. Garrison running as Trump, basically and then expressed exactly what was said here.... something awful about himself and the crowd says how humble, but it's true. once you have the magnetism, it attracts polarity. The haters will use everything to hate then, and the lovers will use everything possible to love.

[@sethdecamp4919]

A few good friends way better than a bunch of average ones

[@fitzsimonsdev]

You should definitely talk to the economist Justin Wolfers or his wife Betsey Stevenson about how marriage among college educated people works.

[@rachelsanger8629]

So (around 1 hour 7) we actually *were* on average happier in the 1970s 😊 It's not just nostalgia!

[@Theresa3267]

🔥

[@katherineozbirn6426]

Mentor studies among men show the same fall off of connection; once the mentorship is over, more equal status occurs among men than for women.

[@ARR409]

What’s that last part mean? Could you use an example for me to understand it better? I think I’m just being dumb.

[@damssen3234]

cinema? interesting ambitions… will follow closely

[@rockymountainskies1744]

Hypothesis: Men with less testosterone have less of a desire to be status seeking = lower salary. Lower salary = more likely to be with a partner that earns more. Lower testosterone = higher likelihood of ED = higher likelihood to take ED rx. So being with a higher earning women doesn't cause ED but the lower testosterone makes it more likely your partner pool will include mates that earn more because you earn less. And if you have ED and are in a realtionship (vs single) with a high status women, your more likely to get medicated because your partner has more oppotunity to leave you to get their sexual needs met. Corellation is not causation.

[@bryanbrowning5746]

Interesting theory, but I think it runs deeper than just lack of testosterone. There’s plenty of men out there working low paying jobs that have plenty of T, but due to their backgrounds (poor parenting, lack of self confidence, low IQ, etc), they will never rise above a certain level of income capability. I know a few guys like this, whose wives make great money, but they don’t look for another partner because of it. Their husbands are good, solid men, with good morals who are loved because of their selflessness, and commitment to their family. That’s just my opinion, FWIW🤷🏻‍♂️.

[@tmangeles7575]

It's called 'parallel play'. Men and boys love it. Guess what happens when you drive your son 6 hours to a baseball tournament? Lots of male bonding.

[@HordurMar]

King Solomon chose the right woman to raise the baby, but whether she was the "actual" mother was unproven but irrelevant when you think about it.

[@arcanearcher13]

More people,more problems

[@fatelessfadewalker7180]

1:06:06 I was left all through college and started turning conservative in my 30s. I agree that astrology is a red flag. It's a completely arbitrary way to view the world and other people to make decisions.