Why Kids Quit Karate: Podcast version

[@gpjordo_syd]

As a parent, I have found this very insightful. As a student of karate, I’m not sure if it was covered off about how to deal with the school being the cause of why people quit and how to deal with it. My story… I started training with a school years ago and due to mismanaged expectations (coupled with my diagnosis of depression), I decided to walk away. Fast forward 12 years… I had kept up my training.. I tried a bit of TKD and then returned to my previous school. Upon returning, I asked how I would be treated and was told to ask my instructors if they were comfortable wearing the same obi I was when I walked away. So I did this… all instructors mentioned they were impressed with how much I remembered and were happy with where I was at. The challenge is, they all kept referring to me as a white belt (10th kyu). No one has given me a straight answer on where I fit in with the school. So what should I do? Walk away? I’ve tried asking the questions

[@GojuRyuKarateCentre]

Ah, what a tough question to answer. Here are some ideas, and hopefully they will give you some clarity. 1) Sometimes, there are two truths in the dojo: an inner and outer truth. They may have told you outwardly that they were okay with you wearing your old belt, but inwardly wanted you to do the "right thing" and wear a white belt until told otherwise. The general rule of thumb is that if you come back after a long time off the mat, you should wear a white belt to show your rustiness and willingness to start over. But not everyone knows that, and it's kind of an unwritten rule. They should have said "no, wear a white belt until the first grading and we'll adjust", but they maybe wanted you to feel welcome, and let the belt thing slide. Either way, this feels more like miscommunication than anything else. You can possibly wear a white belt, and show your willingness to learn, or try another dojo and start again. If you are happy there otherwise, then maybe it's worth taking the knock (or if dojos are scarce in your area). You can also say thank you and walk away, and try at a new dojo. Speaking as someone who has dealt with depression and anxiety, I know how hard it is to bring it up, and also how hard it is to walk away and start all over again. I'm sorry I don't have an easier answer, but I hope this gives you some ideas to work with. Please come back to the comments (or email at [e-mail]) and let me know how it goes. Best wishes, Zoë

[@terrysanders2817]

Well thought out! All martial arts schools would benefit from such an analytical approach! Terry.

[@GojuRyuKarateCentre]

Ah, thank you so much, Sensei Terry! Always appreciated :)

[@ScorpWriter]

Sometimes kids and even adults want to try other things. Maybe they have done karate for a few years and have found something else that interests them more than karate... Perhaps even a different martial art!! I started doing karate when I was 6 and quit at 14 because I found skateboarding... Not because karate was boring, or hard , or I was lazy, or uncommitted. Let me tell you, there are harder things to accomplish than proficiency at martial arts... E. G., learning a musical instrument and the music language itself... Skateboarding as a sport is far more physically and mentally challenging than any martial art there is, and can be even more tedious than the most boring thing in the world. Yet there's something about it that keeps you going... Music, martial arts, radical sports, everything has its magic than can captivate one's attention and make you want to give it a go. And that is OK. We're all searching for something. And people have to understand that fact. Your job, as a martial arts instructor, is to put an inmortal spark in your students, a spark of love for your art. So if they decide to leave one day, they come back to it after years. I myself started karate again 4 years ago, and I'm training shito ryu and goju ryu. Thanks to my sensei and my training, I remembered everything and my strong foundation has helped me reach a high level of proficiency and understanding of karate.

[@GojuRyuKarateCentre]

You are absolutely right - people change and quit over time, and try new things. We're always supportive of that, even when its hard to see them go. I myself have been trying to get back to learning the violin, because it was a wonderful challenge. I gave up because my teacher was more interested on being on his phone, and lessons got quite pricey. And maybe I will find the right teacher to light that spark in me. Sometimes, they do return - we've been lucky to have them come back. The important thing is leaving the door open for them, celebrating their growth and welcoming them back. It's genuinely awesome that you made your way back later in life. Maybe one day, I'll make my way back to violin :) Thank you for taking the time to listen and comment - I really appreciate it!

[@ScorpWriter]

@@GojuRyuKarateCentre Very good. Being welcoming is part of the art of teaching anything. I'm very sorry about you violin teacher, violin is a very, very hard instrument to master, and you need your instructor's attention to progress. It's a shame that you had to deal with his lack of interest, but let me repeat Mr Miyagi's words... THERE'S NO BAD STUDENT, ONLY BAD TEACHERS. hopefully you'll find the right teacher.

[@siriusbontea]

Thanks, Sensei! I really liked how you approached the topic from so many angles. Brilliantly done! I'll be reflecting on this as I observe the ebbs and flow of motivation levels for my own kids. Thanks for your wisdom and insight!

[@GojuRyuKarateCentre]

Ah, thank you, Sirius! I really do want to turn this into a video, just haven't figured out how yet. I think it has value for our community, and hopefully can help us keep kids on the right path :)

[@barbarba7]

Agreed that depression plays a big factor. Also child with ADHD find doing everything harder and taking longer to learn. But... With the help of the Dojo we have, our family pushes through. And we love it....

[@GojuRyuKarateCentre]

I think there needs to be more effort by instructors to understand how to work with ADD/ADHD children. Ché is neurodivergent so he gets it, whereas I can speak about depression with experience. So glad you enjoyed it 🙇🏻‍♀️

[@barbarba7]

Thank you Sensei... Loved listening to this... Really enjoyed... It is sad how many students don't make it as far as they'd want.... Hard work is definitely key...we love our karate... And Connor for one is really prepared to fight and work hard through all the way to Sensei. That's his goal

[@GojuRyuKarateCentre]

We look so forward to being a part of Connor's journey up the mountain!

[@Rex1987]

i just wanted to say that i found several good points and insights in this - and alot of empathty for what kids and teenagers are going thoght while trying to learn karate :)

[@GojuRyuKarateCentre]

Ah, thank you so much! I definitely feel kids really do have it a lot harder now - we were allowed to have free time!

[@matthews1082]

Well presented video about teaching kids . Teaching kids karate takes a lot of extra care and consideration, but it's rewarding when things work out well. I defined success in teaching kids, when they made it through the next grading with commitment and receive their belts with pride - having enjoyed the process and learnt good techniques as well as learnt something about themselves. I think, when karate makes them feel better, then I've succeeded - beyond the next grading I see it a's a whole new challenge all over again, new syllabus, next goals, the kid's new mindset, their next phase of their journey in life, which might not have karate in it for a great variety of reasons.

[@GojuRyuKarateCentre]

It really is the toughest and best thing to teach kids. We know that 95% of them will quit, and they can be so hard to reach on some days. Victor Freinkel wrote in his book "Man's Search for Meaning" that that *which gives light must endure burning.* Being a sensei, in the truest sense, does mean burning a path forward for others, lighting their way, and letting them take some of that light with them. Seeing them grow and change feeds back some of that light to us too. Do you still teach kids? They make up the majority of our students (about 60%) and while they are exhausting, I can't imagine not teaching them.

[@matthews1082]

@@GojuRyuKarateCentre No I don't at the moment. My proudest moment ? When my Sensei graded my students and passed them - it always like I've passed the grading myself.

[@matt_iles]

Devaluing the black belt is why I quit. After training hard for many years, I saw black belts awarded to students which didn't show the qualities required to hold the belt.

[@GojuRyuKarateCentre]

It will never stop grating me that some styles/schools/federations let 10 year olds run around with black belts. We've had potential parents choose other dojos because they can get a black belt in 4 years while only training once or twice a week. So glad someone else sees the damage this does to martial arts!

[@gnichols5051]

I think it's more often that the parents that quit first. It's not uncommon for dojo's to charge up to $200/month not including equipment and belt test fees these days. And that's not counting the time and commute commitment. If the child is bored and/or humiliated that's not exactly a good return for their investment.

[@GojuRyuKarateCentre]

Wow, I didn't know it was so expensive in the States! We charge the equivalent of $25 a month for unlimited classes here, but also a small amount for belt tests. Totally get the financial incentive to quit, as well as the time cost. It's also hard to find a good dojo close by as well, and when the commute is long, the karate is harder. And apologies for the super delayed response 😅 slowly working through our old comments

[@julianroninbb]

Great talk! Traditional Martial Arts take a lot of time to get good at. Often a lot of movements aren't fun to do & are very complex, which I believe is why a lot of kids get bored of training quickly. Also I feel with the rise of combat sports it has a much more modern sport aspect to training, which is a lot more attractive to kids & also adults these days. Training tends to be a lot less strict too & you're able to train more advanced techniques a lot eariler vs traditional.

[@GojuRyuKarateCentre]

Ah, thank you so much! We often forget that traditional martial arts were never meant to be taught to kids - Chojun Miyagi himself wouldn't train anyone under 16, and there are days when I truly sympathize with that decision. Karate is easy to start but hard to learn, and most people aren't used to working hard. I think you're right that MMA and Karate Combat have also had an impact on the perception of karate, and have made it look much flashier, which doesn't help in the long term. Thank you for the lovely comment, and for taking the time to listen to me rambling!

[@cornerofthemoon]

Once a child fails a belt test, especially at the lower levels, it's pretty much game over. They're publicly embarrassed and humiliated, and their lower belt color compared to the rest of the class becomes a scarlet letter so their interest evaporates.

[@GojuRyuKarateCentre]

Definitely! We actually don't introduce failure until the age of 8, as they just aren't equipped to deal with it as a useful tool. Learning to fail and bounce back is one of the most important life skills out there, but that doesn't mean it is easy. It's probably the hardest life lesson to teach. So as an example - we recently had a kid who just could not do the kata right for his belt colour change. So we gave him three weeks to fix it, and he worked so, so hard. And even though the kata still didn't look great, his hard work had closed the gap enough to make it worth the belt. Because the new orange belt wasn't really the point - it was the lesson within the grading. And now, he is one of our hardest working students. But you are right - failure, handled wrong, will put any kid off karate for good. Thank you so much for taking the time to watch and comment, we always appreciate it :)

[@CorvidChaos2]

I wish I could quit karate

[@GojuRyuKarateCentre]

It’s a pity, but I know many good reason to stop karate, You should take it up with your sensei , and your parent a Che

[@darrenmckay5266]

Do u think 24 years old is too old to start karate?

[@GojuRyuKarateCentre]

Never! We have students who started in their 50s and got their black belts recently. Never too late, and you're never too old! I started when I was 19, and I"m a third dan now. You can do it!

[@darrenmckay5266]

@@GojuRyuKarateCentre Cool thanks I will get started soon !

[@Burvedys]

There is a solution how to avoid kids quitting, however. Don't teach kids! :)

[@GojuRyuKarateCentre]

Maybe Sensei Miyagi was on to something when he refused to teach anyone under 16, and even then they had to be vouched for and introduced! But you know, I'd miss teaching the kids - they make me laugh, and keep me in the loop with how the world is changing. And yes, they're harder work than the adults, but they are also very sweet (and sometimes shockingly insightful). - Zoe