Why Narcissists Always Put You Down ?

Why Narcissists Always Put You Down ? | Dr. David Hawkins

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@iowamom454 10 ай бұрын

I am at the point after 20 years that his dismissiveness is okay. It means he is not yelling, or putting me down. My mom had a stroke 4 days ago, when I told him, he said "huh." and hasn't asked or talked about her since. I'm currently getting the silent treatment from Dec 20th. I have learned to write things down, so I know I am not crazy. My life is an emotional rollercoaster from hell, but the good news is Im fighting back now. Finally, Im fighting back. To those out there, fight back. And how I fight back is telling him he cannot treat me like he does. I dont even talk to him unless i have to. That way he cant come back a week later and say that I am a horrible person for xyz (whatever crazy thing hes made up). Ive been told that I deserve the way he treats me, that I want him to do it, that I am not worthy of anything else. He will leave me and marry a wonderful woman so he can show the kids what a real woman is. All i can say is fight back by getting healthy. Take care of your body. Seriously. I have started again, and I feel healthier and stronger.

@happymess3219 24 күн бұрын

😐 wow. what a bastard. glad you're finally free, sis. 💙💙💙

@sssttt2211 11 ай бұрын

Narcissist put downs when they are done often and repeated and for no valid reason, without allowing you to say against their statement anything is actually a serious crime. You are morally breaking someone down just to get upper hand on the person - power and control.

@emmarae4322 10 ай бұрын

They are self absorbed and you are an object to build their ego. Putting you down builds them up. It’s all about CONTROL.

@Schquirl 11 ай бұрын

I think the worst thing about the holidays is all the bad memories and how he tried to sabotage plans. There were only a few moments of good memories on a holiday but just like every day doing what I didn't want or him not doing what was needed like even being kind or or even acknowledging my existence always hurts in the memories. To realize he never loved me and was only me trying so hard is what hurts 😭 the most.

@MarinaM-o6p 11 ай бұрын

I AM TRULLY HAPPY I FOUND YOU , YOUR WORK AND YOUR VIDEOS! Some people out there say “ you have to do what you have to do in order to be successful in life” …..those people are exactly the ones YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT ….

@Schquirl 11 ай бұрын

Thank you for these great videos! Merry Christmas to you Dr. David. Just this morning at a new church I was going to I had to leave to go to the bathroom just to catch my breath as I wanted to bawl my eyes out when I realized how much I've been devalued and not had positive memories this whole last year let alone the years we were married but this last year was so much worse as he has a new supply and I've been replaced. I have memories of the negative comments and how I dismissed them. I wish I stood up for myself the whole time but when I could this last month it was too little too late. The damage of all the neglect, negative words and memories has already been done.

@samco63 5 ай бұрын

I’m not married. And it’s only been 18 months. I left him early this year because I was getting constantly belittled, ignored, wouldn’t even look at me or smile at me! It was like he hated me… I went back. Aaand here we are again. I’m a nervous wreck! I’ve tried to confront it - I get blamed, told I’m imagining things when I see him rolling his eyes at me, and then I get the silent treatment. He told me an outright lie the other day. I saw it with my own eyes . It was about something stupid - not even in an arguements and not even anything we would ever argue about… and then he flipped it and said I was imagining it, then kept bringing it up that I was wrong because I questioned the lie! And then came the silent treatment. Then the next day he’s happy as Larry again and wants to touch me all the time, but I hate it and get no personal space! But I feel bad for feeling that way… but he changes again after he’s had his “fix” I’m getting to the point of breaking and I have to leave. I feel insane. I’m walking on eggshells! But I can’t bring anything up because then I get blamed and then given the silent treatment (and then he makes nasty remarks and jabs at me and tried to make me jealous of other women). I literally cannot handle this anymore. I have nowhere to turn emotionally

@angelasherridan9435 11 ай бұрын

This is so helpful I’ve written down the steps and I’m going to be crystal clear thank you for taking this time over the holidays to bring this to us navigating these challenges that are very difficult and gives back my voice, agency, my inner conviction I am worth being listened too and my values are as important and valuable God bless you merry Christmas Dr Hawkins and the marriage recovery team 🙏

@Lola-mt1ne 11 ай бұрын

This is a big deal, being dismissive.

@missnicolak 11 ай бұрын

I can be dismissive but my partner says all these things to me that aren't true so I act in a dismissive way as I'm not buying into the delusion..

@AutumnLady46 11 ай бұрын

Merry Christmas dr D , thanks for pointing out to us that we are worth the right person to be with and not take crumps in relationships .

@Schquirl 11 ай бұрын

5:55 How to respond to lack of care and empathy: Change begins with my own self value, expectations of communication and behaviors, confrontation of dismissiveness, bring natural consequences.

@ArtLoverScotland 11 ай бұрын

You are a thing, a dead object. They walk past you without even noticing. All they want is supply, their needs met. Their demands met, their need for appreciation, attention and hero woship. Mr always right. Meanwhile you are shrivelled, your real self diminished in the extreme, your worth and sense of worth gone or tarnished so you are always questioning yourself. If you offer help or assistance you sre demonised as this is a harm to them, you are saying they need help and that means they are not good enough, instead they ensure you know you ae not good enough. It takees a lot o hard effort to self validate, and any confrontation can be met with violence, verbal and or physical. Its difficult. These inividuals do not care one jot about you. You need to leave if at all possible

@iowamom454 10 ай бұрын

"You are a thing, a dead object". Yes. Understanding emotional abuse is hard, but this is a great way to describe how it feels.

@lucypalsgrove9210 10 ай бұрын

This apples to both genders. I have known both. They blame everyone for their problems, just dismiss how you feel and what you need in a relationship! I once loved a relative very much!!but she would always say”my plate is full”. When I needed something, so hurtful with snide remarks, and never believed me, when I tried to tell her what was really going on. I had just gotten out of a marriage with a male narcissist. She displayed so many of the same traits, that I thought I was losing my mind. I left one day, after she went into a rant and called me a liar for the last time. Both are blocked, forever!!

@MeCynthiaAnn 4 ай бұрын

Yes….true, true Thanks always From Cynthia in JANESVILLE, WI

@callieaveril 11 ай бұрын

Your videos are so helpful! Thank you for what you do

@freeseagull1980 10 ай бұрын

Thanks ..

@alexisasha 19 күн бұрын

Several years ago, Dr Hawkins, during a Skype therapy session across the world, you told my husband he was being "argumentative". He still insists you misunderstood his attempts to explain his point of view (or likely, to say what HE meant by a particular word -- s subsequent therapist of mine posed that he may have ASD traits). Listening to your wisdom in this video, I have flashes of a likely response from him if I were to try to put my own needs and bids for better connection forward. Based on past attempts, I think he is likely to absorb the processes you suggest and then use them in a DARVO (?) come-back. That is, he wold show how HE is the "victim" and I would end up questioning my perception of things. Because of that, I would be wary of trying to be so open and vulnerable. In such instances, what do you suggest?