Why the Smallest Changes Can Trigger Fear in Complex Trauma

[@writerofunimportantthings]

You just cannot ever explain to people who don't experience this what is like when your brain/body is so hyper freaking sensitive to any change whatsoever that it wrecks you with anxiety or even sends you into a panic attack. People think you are faking it or lying or weak or exaggerating it's absolutely maddening and so demeaning to face the dismissiveness and judgement from people who just have never experienced these symptoms and have no idea because it's impossible for them to know. It absolutely shuts down your entire life.

[@rositakoning7878]

So true, I feel exactly the way you describe

[@cassandraknight8804]

Well explained,… this comment made me feel less alone. Also such a wonderful talk.

[@buffybutler220]

I agree

[@gulliver7419]

Exactly, I break out into a cold sweat.

[@Love.America]

You explained that so well.

[@wellallrightthen]

Dear Tim, Endless, endless thanks to you for these videos

[@bridgetmcgiggles4528]

Thanks to Tim. Helping us get healthy.

[@chocolatecookie8571]

Yeah, when I sleep in another bed or location, no matter where it is or with whome, I have trouble sleeping the first night.

[@susanmercurio1060]

When I changed from homelessness to having an apartment, the change was so great that I just collapsed. It was hard to have compassion towards myself to allow myself to slow down if I needed to.

[@angelagholson4988]

Collapsed??

[@TheLoneDrow22]

I've gone through something similar. I was homeless for a couple years, got incarcerated for 14 months and then when I got out, sober and back in "reality" I couldn't handle the normality of it all and fell back down. Fortunately I picked myself back up and am doing better, but christ is it ever hard.

[@ph-vf5hx]

​@@angelagholson4988it's metaphorical = dysregulated.

[@77SunnyDazeInDecember]

Oh man, boy did it ever! I didn't know how to be a normal person. I became damn near agoraphobic. I wouldn't leave my apartment for days sometimes weeks. The outside that I was confined to basically was all of the sudden too unpredictable to traverse through. Craziness

[@oishikaray2767]

@@77SunnyDazeInDecember❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@jodycasey6936]

It’s so hard to think straight when you get surprised

[@sarahjmount9221]

Thank you, Tim! I am having a huge problem with this right now. I really needed to hear this. It’s hindering my progress and my entire life.

[@neatcleanandsimple.1909]

It's a struggle... May you come out the other side a winner over your problems... Stay blessed

[@sarahjmount9221]

@@neatcleanandsimple.1909 Thank you so much for your support. It’s good to now you’re not alone. Godspeed on your journey, as well!

[@TheAlfadir]

i am in the same spot sister! lots of love and support to you from the Netherlands ❤

[@sarahjmount9221]

@@TheAlfadir Thank you so much for your support from the Netherlands! It’s so awesome and appreciated to know we’re not alone in this community! I wish you all the best on your recovery journey, as well. We both have to be ok with going out of our comfort zones and trying new things to make our lives better. I know we can do it! It just takes a lot of courage and work. No problem, right? ♥️😊

[@user-WyoJ]

Omg! My husband & I bought our absolute dream home & it was so hard on me I had to keep our original home & we eventually moved back & sold our dream home, I spent 2 years in a constant state of anxiety,stress, depression .

[@hearttalkscoach]

Familiar danger / familiar hurt is what we've built our adaptive mechanisms around (healthy or otherwise) and therefore registers as less of a threat to our nervous systems. Unknown dangers are scarier to any human brain - we also know that stress responses are A) STRONGER in a traumatized nervous system and B) TAKE LONGER to return to baseline. So the uncertainty around even a small change can be near debilitating for those of us with complex trauma.

[@1timbarrett]

I’ve gotta learn what COMPLEX TRAUMA means…! 😮

[@susanmercurio1060]

I HATE hearing that "change is part of life"! To me, given my experiences, "change" is sudden and catastrophic, so it scares me.

[@Andrew-jdk493]

The whole universe is changing every moment including you but you are scared only when you are aware of it because your mind is trained to believe false. Train to take it as a norm and fear will disappear.

[@susanmercurio1060]

@@Andrew-jdk493Easier said than done

[@chocolatecookie8571]

What is happening in our world the last decades is far from normal. The changes we go through is very traumatic and should not be seen as part of life. We are not living in normal circumstances. Many of us are tired of these changes and want peace. But the crises we experience have been created by those who pull the strings. They dont want us to have a stable normal life.

[@hearttalkscoach]

Fear and pain are also parts of life, so the people being dismissive about those experiences by telling you "Change is the norm" are A) being intellectually lazy and B) struggling to sit with their own discomfort in that moment. With you 100%

[@yourworstfan]

You have to train yourself to understand that not every change is a threat. This is hard for a lot of us, but it's vital to understand that many changes are actually positive, and sometimes you actually have to choose and drive change yourself.

[@coreycleven8414]

These seminars really are terrific; they put so much into perspective for me. I often struggle with adrenaline and my heart racing from small unpredicted things happening.

[@Suzanne-n]

Someone with trauma, has the ability to trigger someone else with trama.

[@mervats5505]

Thank you from Iraq 🇮🇶 You answered all questions I had asked God to know why ❤

[@positivevibe7684]

Great video! My husb is about to retire. God bless him during this change. It's going to be different for him and me. Hopefully, by working on my inner self/ self-awareness, the change won't be too dramatic for me. Absolutely, train yourself for the change.❤❤

[@GiftsAmimalsGiveUs]

Yup, every time I move to a new place or even go to a hotel for a few days I end up having nightmares. It takes me so long to relax and feel safe when I'm sleeping in a new place.

[@1timbarrett]

Binge-watching your YT content today…! 😘

[@pamwatkins4855]

😮thank you, soooo much,Tim

[@luissantiago5434]

Wow that describes me well

[@searlepage4655]

Katrina here, CHANGE after trauma after trauma with CPTSD . Thank you for validating my thoughts. This is so me , stuck in flight mode too . If i talk it comes out wrong and people (family) haven't time or want to connect . I will now work on myself to heal using your guidance.

[@cassandraknight8804]

I have CPTSD with OCD and this is Just what I needed right now…. Thank you.

[@franciscojuliaomarinsbede5879]

I also have CPTSD and OCD. It has been ROUGH.

[@ivylin8103]

I got it now. why I triggered. thank u ❤ Tim.

[@HeyCoachBarbara]

The timing of this video could only be because of God!! Thank you 🙏🏾

[@sam-pp9vg]

Thanks

[@Nonfiction.Reader]

Thanks.

[@arabellacox]

Going to a new workplace was always super stressful coz I had to know who were the 'bitches', the gossips, the back-stabbers - never contemplated that my colleagues were going to be nice people!

[@HappyHolyHealthyLife]

So true! 💯

[@adierenmounier6101]

@Tim Fletcher can schizophrenia be hereditary? And can symptoms appear out of nowhere like psychosis?

[@nishak1996]

Hello Tim, could you please help me? Why does anger lead to visuals? I get these when I'm very angry, visuals about slapping people to make them stop saying bad things. The smallest things they say (especially people close to me) trigger me so much, I cannot see beyond the cloud of anger. And a few hours later it turns into suicidal thoughts, it's that way now. Wasn't suicidal before ever. Could you please, please help me out?

[@susanmercurio1060]

It's a normal response to thinking about slapping someone who is offending you. Part of depression is turning your anger onto yourself, so your suicidal thoughts are also normal. Is it that you're finally opening up to your emotions and these uncomfortable emotions are coming up? Relax and have compassion for yourself and it will be a lot easier to learn coping skills to handle these strong emotions.

[@hearttalkscoach]

It takes courage to share this, good on you! I have a similarly vivid imagination that gets activated when I witness / experience unfairness, and I have worked with people who share this. Our anger is looking for a way out, and it feels good to fantasize about utilizing that anger to FIX the wrong. Many of our internal patterns are built this way, to try and correct a past experience where we were helpless and mistreated. Exploring that anger, where it came from and what its trying to tell you, how your body reacts, are the first steps.

[@hearttalkscoach]

@@susanmercurio1060 As a good friend of mine with similar trauma history reminds me often: "Leave yourself alone, man."

[@susanmercurio1060]

@@hearttalkscoach Yes, I went to a psychiatrist when I was 19 who told me, "If you don't want to see shit, stop looking up your own asshole." I think he meant the same thing as your friend. It did help, and I stopped being so hard on myself. But it's a life-long work.

[@appleofhiseye104]

Were you physically abused as a child? If you were treated that way, you could reactivate that memory and project onto the present. Suicidal thought is a part of protector to end your past and current pain and suffering. I recommend ‘internal family system’ IFS to understand yourself. It’s been so helpful for me n processing my lifelong grief, anger, depression…etc

[@skinnyway]

I asked for help and all I got was more stalking, more targeting and laughed at harder than usual. the police started stalking thru my parking lot. the fire trucks have began blowing off their horns in front of my building needlessly. Animal control tears thru the parking lot and squeals out the entrance almost causing wrecks. the trash trucks have started honking when they go by as well. what was that you were saying about asking for help? sadly asking for help only increases the townwide abuse. they hate me because they act like fools in front of my camera and I show the public how they behave. as an autistic girl I had to learn to read all the tiniest of signs of all my narcissistic abusers - even when there werent any signs at all. all my life having to ask for fairness instead of just receiving it has taught me my existence here is exactly that. an existence Living a town full of bullies who show me every day how much they hate me simply because I woke up that day. and no way to get away from them.

[@Walklikeaduck111]

I feel you. Its like that for me too😢

[@chocolatecookie8571]

There are too many bullies. On paper society looks perfect but in real life these so called helpers dont give a shit and are ignorant. It sucks to be stuck. There are online therapists available who you can talk with but it costs money.

[@derekhall4017]

Even if I'm not here later, I didn't pull away when you touched me. Yeah well, I was confused by your comment first. Police stalking, fire truck sirens, animal control squeels, garbage trucks honking in addition to their noise? How could a person asking for help be bullied by a town? I was assuming so much, couldn't even ask without offending, and when ultimately left to assume these were perhaps "accomodations" gone bad I got to googling. Learned about the importance of Fire Safety training to include awareness of needs for those who might be overstimulated by alarms, let alone all involved for them in real emergency. Learned about a certain appreciation for the simple, direct, communication styles of pets, and even remembered my own magical interactions with felines. Read a bit into Autism Speaks controversies, beginning with their foundation- "funding global biomedical research into the causes, prevention, and possible cure" -when mindful awareness and genuine acceptance would be a world of difference. Then a quick google-glance at the words "residential options for adults living with autism" made my heart skip over a pool of stomach acid. Still running on assumptions, so of course without even checking if you're cool with them, I hugged you. Worse maybe, like you were some kind of ambassador. An unsolicited, presumptuous, ambassadorial-type hug, all for you, cringe. Mindful awareness and genuine acceptance would be a different world.

[@1timbarrett]

Personally I see autism as a superpower. I assume you have tried reframing it that way…? 😘

[@nancythran9353]

When the sessions change I get upset! Also during the fall time I normally make my doc appointment for physical that scares me

[@sam-pp9vg]

💯💯💯

[@AMessageKeeper]

Tim, there are people who fight tooth and nail for a person not to heal properly. Speak to that properly. Sometimes these people are as powerful as an instantly powerful remedy to their self imposed headaches.

[@SebastianF-w3s]

Thank you, feeling more confident every day and noticing my anxiety dissolve until I knew I was “in control” is definitely a relief, I went with what I mentioned and a week after my paruresis was gone. I just go'ogled the latest in Beck Reznark’s guide and now I can go without even thinking about it.

[@honestandfair1572]

Stress affects animals to and they matter remember that…..