Why Women Divorce. | Christian Woman, Marriage, Homemaking & Femininity

[@Bri-nc8yp]

My dad after meeting the guy and talking to him for 30 minutes told me "If you marry this man I promise you that you will be divorced in one year" I thought about it and said "My dad is right!" and broke up with the dude. Best decision ever!!! Thanks,Dad. The funny thing was the guy said "all the right things" but my dad could still read him.

[@lifestylehomestead]

We all need dads like yours.

[@marciaroyaltywaldron3030]

Yep my dad was like that good discernment of his kind

[@bigk0101]

You are wise to seek the advise of your father good on you.

[@pattyhansen7563]

Fortunately, not all dads 'know' what they are talking about. My dad said the same thing & I have been married for 20 years. He is now their favorite son in law. My husband did all the 'wrong' things as a youth growing up in the same neighborhood, but had turned his life around. My parents judged him on gossip, past wrongs, and incorrect info. My husband set out to prove them wrong & did one heck of a job. My parents even gave us a house! He & my dad worked on renovating it together.

[@aliciablakime9168]

@@lifestylehomestead 90% of women do not respect nor listen to dads anymore . And moms do not backup nor respect the fathers anymore because they want all the autorities but none of the responsabilities ! They want to pls their childrens not to prepare them for the future for life so they dismiss fathers setting the exemple for the children to disrespect their fathers guidance or advises

[@bluepane5383]

I personally know a lady who married her unbelieving boyfriend because he got her pregnant. During the marraige, the man committed adultery, did drugs and alcohol, and was always out with friends. The wife, understanding the consequences of her own disobedience to God, fervently repented, sought the Lord again, prayed unceasingly to the Lord for her husband and her young family. Even if it was difficult, she learned to submit to her husband despite his faults according to God's leading to her. Over the years, the husband along with some of his friends, came to accept the Lord. Today, two of them are now pastors including the husband. Indeed, the Lord is gracious and never fails to answer those who call and hope in Him. Praise God!

[@ethanweber7976]

That's 1 Peter 3 in action

[@GritLifeStyle]

Explain “both” of them are pastors?

[@bluepane5383]

The husband and one guy in his group of friends whom he previously shared the same vices.

[@Christinalexis5]

I just wanted to say thank you for putting this piece of hope in the comment section May God RICHLY bless you!

[@ContextandTruth]

🛑This is an exceptional outcome. It's never recommended to marry someone who isn't aligned with you spiritually, morally and in purpose. 🚨 Please read the following article.. Why Being Unequally Yoked Is More Dangerous Than You Think www.crosswalk.com/family/singles/why-being-unequally-yoked-is-more-dangerous-than-you-think.html I found this on Freespoke, a new search engine that doesn't censor viewpoints and respects privacy. Check it out: Freespoke.com

[@whenyouwishuponastar6643]

This was very honest. When I was single, I had people looking down on me because I wasn’t having sex. Questioning when I’d get a boyfriend. I did date but any guy who wasn’t serious and didn’t love God I didn’t go forward. It was really hard to create that standard for myself. But then I found my husband. But you’re right about the expectation of Prince Charming but now he’s a ruler. Actually, when you put it that way, it made me grateful for the person I married. It’s important to remember that the “cool guy” isn’t always the guy that will be a hard worker, be a good father, be an understanding friend.

[@elenarewd9299]

This was great….I wish this video existed years ago 😂. I think I did choose well, my husband is great, but I was wholly unprepared for marriage. I reminded my husband many times of how he was when we were dating and how he changed once we got married. But it’s exactly as you said, he transitioned to being a ruler from a Prince Charming. This is something i want to teach my daughters, about picking well and not getting involved sexually before marriage to prevent that ‘drunken stupor’ that I see so many women get caught up in.

[@jaechanda7]

Yes, Same!

[@carolinew6095]

Bindi, I really appreciate you and I enjoyed this video xxxx

[@blueseptember2174]

We were virgins till marriage and he still changed and also cheated later. Although it did take him longer than a decade but still ridiculous.

[@helgaioannidis9365]

This has nothing to do with being sexually active. My husband and I both were sexually active before marrying and my husband had an illegitimate child when I met him. Still he's a wonderful husband and father, caring, warm and respectful. On the other hand I've met couples that were not sexually active before marriage and the husband because abusive or unfaithful during the course of their marriage. I don't think people change after marriage. Sometimes we don't want to see who the other person really is and want to believe in a fairy tale.

[@michelleduncan9965]

Yes Elenare ! That "drunken stupor" most definitely keeps people from staying in reality, being watchful & truly discerning when they are in the dating phase of a relationship. So, so, so many have shared that they would NOT have gone ahead & married their spouse had they NOT fallen into the sin of pre-marital sex.

[@kristendunn8330]

Although I completely agree that we as modern women consume a worldly narrative of what marriage will be like, and are then completely dumbfounded when the reality of the situation hits, I actually disagree with that being the reason that 70% of divorces in the US are initiated by women. I believe the answer is that divorce is costly for men, and the cost-benefit analysis of getting divorced versus not divorcing their wife, but going on with the ungodly behavior allows them to keep going without losing anything from their bank accounts. My mother's four best friends each found herself in a terrible marriage where the man was clearly not holding up his end of the Biblical plan for marriage (cheating, living with another woman, financially neglecting the wife and children, physical abuse), but the men controlled all the money of the household, and therefore my mother's friends were unable to even pay for a retainer to start the process of divorce. All of these men took about 10 years to finally divorce my mother's friends, all the while living outside the home with their girlfriends. So the men got to keep control of the money and didn't have to divide the assets. This is why I believe that women initiate the greater majority of divorces in the US, because it is of no benefit to men to divorce if they are able to control the money and find sexual comfort outside of the home.

[@JamesASharp]

You're being very disingenuous. Your mom's friends are in the minority statistically. These women initiating divorce because of DV are in the minority. Most of these ex-wives are initiating divorce because of Irreconcilable Differences. In other words, those women thought that they can do better: the opportunity to get the bigger better deal (hypergamy; the green is greener on the other side). It's funny how you women always reach for the exceptions instead of doing the research to identify the standard norm. 🤦🏿‍♂️ But anyway, shame on those men for their abusive and adulterous behaviors.

[@justduuak.1699]

I agree, men would do the most infidelity, abuse and all but him being married is like him eating his cake and having it. Honestly, i don't get how watching disney plays a huge role. Like what about Other movies that don't have fairytale ending.

[@adrianbrrghs]

Add the fact that it’s of no benefit to a woman to waste time in a marriage that she knows isn’t going anywhere and won’t change, especially if they don’t have kids together yet. Better to divorce and find a man who would actually take vows seriously than have two or three of his kids and be stuck indefinitely and just hope he gets tired of doing whatever he wants with no consequence. I don’t think that people understand that women sticking through the marriage no matter what basically means that the man has no consequences for whatever actions he takes, and that usually doesn’t breed good decision making in men. I do not want to go back to a time where a man could basically run roughshod over me if he wanted to, that seems to be what men today are pining for and I have to say, it’s pretty weird.

[@JamesASharp]

@@adrianbrrghs 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 You're telling on yourself. The negatives that you mentioned are in the small minority. You're also displaying your blindspots. You're talking about the minority of men that did the negatives that you mentioned. The average man doesn't even have the options to do what you've mentioned. Just face it, women are just as screwed up as non-marriage material men when it comes to relationships and marriages, and the internet as well as the statistics proves this to be true. Why? Because it's all documented. All women? No. The vast majority of women? Yes. These are documented facts that cannot be refuted. Oh well. But hey, women are strong and independent. They don't need men. They got this!! You got this!! 👍🏿

[@adrianbrrghs]

@@JamesASharp I certainly do have this, because you just proved that you have a narrative that you’re dedicated to and you refuse to see anything past it. An entire generation of people have grown up in dysfunctional households, but you think women are the only problem and the men are angels that escaped unscathed. You legit think 70% of women divorcing men are for no reason? Something tells me if it was men divorcing women at 70%, you would say that meant that women are unfit for marriage. Funny how whatever the statistic is, it’s the woman’s fault, that must be nice. By all means, continue to believe whatever makes you happy, I’m glad men are comfortable expressing what they really think now, it makes it so much easier to vet them.

[@kingdaughterfaithlovehope4877]

Marriage is definitely not a fairytale story . ❤ it is real and raw and if you put God first all things work together for our Good. It is unconditional it is sacrifice it is commitment and a covenant with the lord. If you can find a woman /man who is willing to go through then baby you got a good one ❤

[@joycewatt8289]

Amen 🙏🏽

[@jenealeverett2269]

I firmly believe that once you get married you should have regular conversations about what you both like and dislike about the relationship.BOTH parties must put in the effort and adjust accordingly so that you can have a relationship you both enjoy and are enthusiastic about. Also, compromise on decision making and don't take any action until you've found solutions you both agree to and are happy about. This way you have a relationship that enhances the quality of both of your lives rather than you suffering to through the marriage. It's worked for us for the past decade. We both enjoy out relationship and don't suffer through it. Neither of us "rule" over the other. We both matter and have a say. We are happy as a result.

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

Are you an egalitarian, rather than complementarian? I believe that Bindi is speaking about complementarian marriages where the man is the ruler.

[@peacebeyondpassion2]

Please tell my husband this lol!

[@jenniferturner9012]

exactly.

[@peacebeyondpassion2]

@@dumfriesspearhead7398 Some men don't know how to rule...

[@icantwiththis]

@@peacebeyondpassion2 those aren't the ones you're looking to marry BC life is very hard and we need leaders in our families to move us through it. It's not fair women do everything.

[@---wu3qj]

If you are sexually active before marriage, he is the wrong one! He is not a PRACTICING Christian, and neither are you. He is not fit to be your spiritual leader when he is already disobeying God and causing you to disobey God with him. I know this is hard to hear, but it must be said.

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

I've noticed that pre marital sex amongst Christians is now accepted and in some quarters virgins are less preferred as spouses. That's something of an about turn.

[@ksmith6119]

Say it! Louder for the people in the back.

[@maryfields877]

Well, if both of you are heathens, it's a match. Been together for 25 years, married for 19. No complaints here!

[@---wu3qj]

@@maryfields877 You are correct. You are equally yoked if you are both unbelievers. If you ARE BELIEVERS, then repentance is in order for breaking God’s holy law, and one must seek Jesus’s forgiveness. It doesn’t mean a marriage cannot work, but it does show ignorance of God’s commands, a lack of the fear of the Lord, and lukewarmness.

[@coldblooded568]

Lmaoo y'all need mental help

[@kimberlyjean2248]

One thing I’ve noticed about myself in my marriage and most other women I know is that we were not brought up with any understanding whatsoever of traditional gender roles, and biblical marriage roles. Instead we are brought up in a culture where feminism is the accepted norm. This idea that women can and should do everything that a man can do, and men and women are the same. But then when we marry, and those natural and innate gender differences start to more prominently show, like the man being the leader and the woman needing to be more submissive and honoring of her husband, that’s when the difficulties start. If the woman is constantly bumping up against her husbands leadership, arguing and exercising her “rights” to be a leader too, there is always conflict. In my own marriage of 13 years, it wasn’t until about 10 years in that I finally started learning about the differences between males and females, and learning from the Bible and other inspiring sources about traditional gender roles and how they are equal but very different. It was so eye opening for me and such a relief to find an answer to the difficulties we were experiencing. I was trying to be the man and he was compensating for it. We were constantly throwing each other off balance. And when we finally started leaning more into our innate male and female roles, we started harmonizing together rather than repelling each other. I had to actively reject the lie of feminism I had grown up with and start on my own to learn a new (actually very old) way.

[@danilaroche1156]

I divorced not because I harbored some fantasy. It was the most heart wrenching, traumatizing experience. I was a battered wife. Nearly killed. Ladies, be very prayerful about who you marry. In addition, get Godly counsel.

[@Pasonrev]

Questions! during your marriage, the first time your husband was abusive to you did you report the issue? did both of you seek counseling?

[@Nabiytimothy]

Hmmm

[@Yanina-ls1gy]

Women should not wait till almost geting unalived by an abusive spouse. If there is an act of violence it must be reported to the police,and remove the abuser from the home. Yes we must pray and not marry without God s clear aprobal.But if the mistake is already done,abuse still should never be tolerated.

[@danilaroche1156]

​@@PasonrevI called police many times but they never arrested husband because he's white. I'm a woman of color .We got counseling but my ex spouse didn't want to change. He was into Satanism.

[@danilaroche1156]

​@@Yanina-ls1gyI hung in there because I thought maybe abuse was my fault. I was afraid to live alone. I was broken. Thank God he left!

[@debbiehilton2614]

Interesting perspective. What percent of the 70% of woman initiating divorce are due to bad cost benefits analysis? I haven't met any. The ones I encountered divorced because of the three A's, adultery, abandonment or abuse.

[@delle3955]

Same, from what I’ve observed in real life!

[@AndresPrez]

Statistically....the vast majority are due to superficial things. But of course... your anecdotes are more valuable

[@StephaneeLeahWarringtonJackson]

I think those men are apart of the bad cost bennifits analysis. Alot of times abusers , cheaters and emotionally unavailable men have clear signs that they are those type of men but women tend to over look and ignore those signs. Especially if having premarital sex with that man 😢.

[@charlisena]

@@AndresPrez like 20% might be superficial, but 80% percent is due to abuse.

[@charlisena]

@@StephaneeLeahWarringtonJackson It's because they really don't know.

[@sapiosag9306]

This!!! I have always thought this way. I’m single, never married because I have yet to meet a man who’s benefits outweighed the cost of being married to him. By no means am I saying no man is worth it; I just haven’t met that guy. I value marriage and come from a family that values marriage. I’ve had people tell me to just marry someone. I absolutely will not just marry “someone” because if the cost outweigh the benefits I would end up divorcing.

[@moisesbeyond]

but go ask for marriage to the men you find they are valuable...go ahead take the risk before you reach 32...otherwise forget you will find a man,

[@sapiosag9306]

@@moisesbeyond I’m more than ok if I never find a man. Especially since I’m not even looking 😂. After 32 it’s a wrap 🤔. Im well over 32 and I’ve turned down 2 men’s offers for serious commitment in the past 12 months. 😲Thanks for your concern though. I stand by everything I said in my initial comment 🥰

[@moisesbeyond]

@@sapiosag9306 well over 32 ....UFF

[@TheExcellentFamily]

I appreciate your videos Bindi. Something that I would further point out in the story about Israel choosing a King, is the fact that they rejected God in favor of a king. God would have continued to be their King, leading, providing for and protecting them. However, since they rejected God and decided to look to the King for what only God could provide, they suffered the consequences of their decision. As wives, we always look to God as our King; and submit to our husbands out of obedience and trust that God's ways are better than ours. When we reject God, marriage can be really hard and end in divorce; BUT when we embrace God and walk in obedience to him, our marriages will be fruitful and successful. God designed marriage for success; and when we do it his way, we won't be headed for divorce. As wives it's important to remember that we are helpers (like the Holy Spirit) to our husbands; and that the heart of our king is in God's hand and he turns it whichever way he pleases (proverbs 21:1). If the husband's ways are displeasing, pray for him (THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO ANY TYPE OF ABUSE SITUATIONS). God can turn his heart. God bless!

[@niram6707]

Beautifully put. Yes, the Israelites desired a 'king' like the pagan nations had around them. The Israelites were blind to the wisdom that they had God and in God they had everything.

[@TheExcellentFamily]

@@niram6707 Thanks Niram. 🙏🏾 You are absolutely right! They did want to be like the pagan nations around them. Thank you for stating that.

[@Amgirl03]

Well said ❤️

[@jkplester8917]

THIS... this is what I have noticed in the women leaving their husbands in my social circle. They are rejecting God first... from there, they reject their husbands. It has resulted in the destruction, not only of the marriage but of the women who have left. Surprisingly, the men (even the one who was not a Christian though very willing to follow his wife to church and to learn) are healing and moving on. The women... they continue to fall further and hurt more - even as they insist they are "healing" (adultery and drugs are not healing).

[@JemimasOutcome]

This is an interesting perspective. As someone who has been asking God where is my man, it has definitely made me want to pause and reevaluate my reasons. Also makes me want to understand more about the realities of marriage, the blessings and burdens; because knowing he doesn't stay as Prince Charming is tough. 😅

[@users6051]

Exactly. Marriage isn't a fairytale.

[@emily814]

Marriage is such a blessing when done the right way. I love to follow my husband and lift him up. My husband’s confidence and spirit is lifted the more I trust the Lord in His design.

[@betmikael28]

As someone who is discerning marriage I'm not sure what 'following my husband' means in everyday life...would you mind giving an example in which situations you love to follow your husband and when not so much? Thanks sister:)

[@red_edj]

I would like to know as well. We keep hearing about submissiveness but no one is explaining what that actually looks like.

[@CherishMyDaughter]

I agree with you, Sis. Our culture almost world wide is completely at odds with this reality. I am in my 30th year of marriage to a very loving husband---and have found what you are saying to be true. In fact, I find myself to be encouraged by much of what you say in your videos. I'd expect this information to be coming from someone older---but the scripture is true. It's not about age but your diet---keep soaking in that word! Cheering you on.

[@sarabee7710]

Is that you in the videos on your channel? How could you possibly be married for 30 years?? Did you get married when you were 5 years old?? 😂😂 Sis you look amazing!

[@CherishMyDaughter]

@@sarabee7710 Yes--that's me. Thank you! The Lord is good--I have already lived half of a century Sis! Thank you for the compliment. The Lord will renew your youth!

[@sarabee7710]

Oh wow! Half a century!!! What a blessing.... Thank you 🙏 I subscribed. May God continue to keep and bless you and your beautiful family 😊😊

[@CherishMyDaughter]

@@sarabee7710 Awww Thank you!

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

It would be interesting to interview one or several divorcees about their reasons for divorce. To put those pertinent questions directly to them about expectations and reality.

[@sabinechanging2269]

I expected not to be the only one to pay our bills. Of course it didn’t start out that way, but after a year or two he stopped paying the bills, while we had two little girls. Electric company threatened to cut off electricity (in November!)., unpaid insurances, hidden unpaid bills. Refusing to want to talk about anything. So yes, after giving him more chances I could count, wanting to work on our marriage together (yes another expectation) I divorced him. I realised I was the only one invested in the marriage. Sometimes you truly get to know someone after you get married

[@lisaburke7506]

@@sabinechanging2269 Looking back before you married, were there any warning signs or orange flags (i.e., this might be an issue but maybe I am judging too harshly)? What things would you have done differently or questions you would have probed more deeply if you could do it over?

[@sabinechanging2269]

@@lisaburke7506 what a beautiful question! I think I would’ve done things differently. I was so young , I wouldn’t have gotten married at 22. Looking back on it I should’ve done a practice round; live together for a bit before marriage. There was one orange flag when we were dating. It was important to me to go out more together (dinner dates, drinks). When I told him he told me he didn’t think it was important so that was that and so we almost never went out. It seemed so small at the time but if you tell you partner something is important to you and he doesn’t take action, I would consider it a red flag now. There were no other red flags: he worked, went to college, was in the top 10 procent academically, loved his mother, great relationship with his family, was respectful to me. He came from a hard working family, people who didn’t have that much money but knew how to handle it. I never would’ve guessed thing would turn out the way they did. Noe if I meet someone as a 37 yo would ask more about how a man sees himself, his confidence, his mission in life. Prob deeper and compare that with how I view life.

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

@@sabinechanging2269 Thanks for your comment; it's the small things that make a huge difference.

[@chardiemarie7455]

I definitely felt that part when you talked about demanding a man from God. Sometimes we want marriage so bad that we rush into it and miss allot of important red flags. My prayers are with all the women who found themselves surprised by who their husband was after marriage. Know that your situation is not beyond God’s Grace. He can turn it around. But you will have to be willing to suffer through it and come out refined on the other side. ❤ Of course this does not apply if you are being physically abused or cheated on. In any situation where you are unhappy in your marriage always get help. Depending on your situation, that help will look different. ❤

[@miaj1895]

The closer I get to God, the less I want to be married. I would never stay in an unhappy marraige and participate in making my life worse just because I married someone. And since being unhappy isn't a Biblical reason for divorce, its better just to nit get married. I would rather serve God in other ways than to completely turn my life over to another sinful being.

[@iwillfindyou____]

Wow, hallelujah, this is such a mature revelation and thank you for sharing it! I'm beginning to feel this way too, as someone still relatively new in my faith walk and still single (which I now know is a huge blessing). It is a joy to be Christ's bride, and that is enough ❤️ God's will be done.

[@kimbellas6874]

I love this reasoning - how do you cope with your sexual needs though without sinning?

[@miaj1895]

@@kimbellas6874 I'm not a very sexual person. I kind of need a mental and emotional connection with someone before I want to connect with them in that way. I believe dating is only for people who want to get married, so I will not date. Which will limit the connection I make with people of the opposite sex.

[@Svetlana_Zakirova]

Very well said 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@Jenny-fl5cn]

@@miaj1895 if you are catholic, consider joining a convent. It may provide you with structure and community making the single service to God an easier cross to bear.

[@kristinarobinson3241]

Amen, amen, and amen!!!! Such great wisdom!!!! Thank you Bindi!!! I appreciate and agree with everything you said! Ask the Lord if you may have a husband and I would go further to say to ask Him “ am I equipped or ready to be a godly woman/wife/mother/homemaker to a godly man/husband/father/provider… let your will be done oh God and I will be satisfied with whatever you choose because I trust you”!!

[@phillipsk100]

Such a Biblically wise young woman; I needed this to cement my commitment and vows for my marriage!

[@jackieclingman9707]

Thank you so much for this video. My daughter has recently freed herself from a relationship where it was costing her more than the man was worth. This was only a dating relationship and they were living states away from each other, but the costs were high. I’m going to suggest this video to her and my husband (her dad) to watch. ❤

[@rebekahguilder602]

God is good. If you are a woman and you feel you've done a faulty cost/benefit analysis cry out to your ABBA Father. It doesn't mean God will fix everything immediately but He will be the lover of your soul and counsel and guide you through the marriage.

[@1985tmc]

I also want to add, there is a benefit to marrying a man who is born again because he can manifest the fruits of the spirit like a woman who is born again. However, as I wait on God and learn God’s heart about marriage, I find that a man could never replace God so when a woman ask a man to meet her needs, she should ask using godly wisdom knowing that God would have to cover and grace that man to keep his commitment to her and her children. Finally, when I read 1 Cor. 7:1-20 it’s a good passage on the oneness aspect in marriage. After I took a Christian marriage and family counseling class, we learned about equality in marriage so it’s important to understand more about the “two shall become one flesh” Union otherwise there could be distortion about the man’s role as head of the woman.

[@sugarnspice-pf1nt]

Great video as always. Adding in there- it’s so important for Christian women to focus on attraction in dating. The main complaint I hear/see from married Christian men is a lack of sex.. which has a clear beginning. It’s important that we encourage women to deny men they are not attracted to physically but may be attracted to character-wise and refocus on those men that balance physical attraction and character quality. Intimacy matters

[@brendah4701]

I think this is one of the factors . I also think that our society is very goal and career oriented. I have heard that there is a connection between a woman making more money than their partner and a high divorce rate . Also in our culture nowadays women have a very “don’t need a man” attitude and therefore take the male role or believe they “know best “ on how their partner should lead . As women we need to allow men to lead , counsel and pray for them . Of course , I am not leaning to one gender on the blame for divorce , or one circumstance . I see so many times that a woman leaving her husband be seen as female liberation and praised by our modern ideas of female empowerment . I think we need to consider how divorce also is taking away a man’s family and be more empathetic towards the men.

[@sarabee7710]

Very beautifully said 😊😊

[@rebekahguilder602]

@Raven Carlton I agree and I don't mean this in a nasty way, but most of those women aren't the kind of women a man who made that kind of money would want.

[@brendah4701]

@@rebekahguilder602 agree , sadly this is why a large number of women are single . They look for materialistic rather than good quality men . Like this is literally like the lowest percentage of men and most women will try to get these “high earners”. Who may or may not be good quality men !

[@Bri-nc8yp]

@Raven Carlton I saw that video and those were instagram influencers saying those things not your every day woman. If a man was to marry one of them he deserves everything that he has coming to him. Of course they are shallow....what do you expect? However, a man should be earning enough to comfortably take care of his family even if the wife should choose to stay home and be a house wife. money is the number one cause of divorce.

[@Cora_la_flor]

I agree with this 💯%. I wish I had this mindset before I started dating. I would have saved my time and energy that was invested in the wrong people. Thank God I am married now and my entire view on relationships has evolved and matured to understand the importance of courtship. My husband was the first man to actually do this.

[@pocahontas4583]

The woman might be the one filing but the “initiation” comes from the abuser, the cheater, the antagonist. For some reason people think the divorce is the fault of the person who files. Usually the one filing is the one who felt they were done wrong. My husband refused to file but aggressively showed up at my house after we separated telling me I need to hurry up and file. I told him if he’s so worried about it do it himself and he refused saying it’s not what he wants so he’s not doing it. Then why show up at my house aggressively “ordering” me to do it??? Just backwards.

[@kendradamm1428]

I can relate!

[@CM-sy3to]

@Makai Threads no one is going to divorce a good man who is doing what is right. Most divorce cheaters, violent, abusive or drug addicted non-workers.

[@brianabenson6704]

This right here. Yes women file for divorce more than men...but why? Women used to stay through the abuse and neglect bc they couldn't leave....no money...can't get a job...can't have a bank account..can't own land. They HAD to stay. Now that women have more rights we don't HAVE to stay when a man is not holding up his end of the deal on a godly marriage. Porn addiction Alcoholism Cheating Verbal abuse Emotional abuse/neglect Mental abuse financial abuse Are just some reasons why women file for divorce. So while we may be the ones that file....I wonder what the true stats are behind the why...🤔 for the first time men have to actually be good, faithful, loving men in order fornthe woman to WANT to stay bc we no longer HAVE to stay per say. Although, many women do still feel like they have to stay for a number of different reasons....the kids....financial stability, e 14:17 tc.

[@theparttimehomemaker]

It appears a lot of couples of this world go into marriage focused on what their spouse can give and do for them vs. what they themselves can give and do for their husband. So, once they repeatedly feel like they aren't getting 'what they need/deserve' from the marriage, they exit. They get married with the wrong focus- they don't marry with the intention of serving their husband, submitting, building their husband up etc. It's just about 'me, me, me' and 'whether I'm happy'- not whether God is happy and/or whether your husband is happy. It's a shame really.

[@jenealeverett2269]

Both spouses must give and take. One sided relationships don't work

[@Svetlana_Zakirova]

Wait, who on earth enters a marriage thinking about what they can do for their spouse before all else? That’s nonsense. We all want benefits in the first place. Don’t say it’s not true.

[@mamablue007]

I think you mean well but you are also one sided. I thoroughly enjoy serving my husband. But I do know that God wouldn't be happy with His precious gem of a daughter marrying a man of the world snd not a righteous man after His own heart!! It is NOT wrong for us to have the same standards God has!!! Please don't forget the other half!!

[@Search4Cherise]

This is very true. Love the way you worded this!

[@niram6707]

@@Svetlana_Zakirova I think the OP was attempting to covey the message that an enduring marriage relationship requires both spouses to have a mindset of 'what is best for the cherished marriage relationship that exists between us' rather than a mindset of 'what is best for me'. A mindset of placing the marriage relationship that exists between us before self in every facet of their lives. For example, a husband or wife that is not wise with money and spending more than they bring in is placing their needs first and not the marriage relationship that exists between the two. Such an action places stress on the other partner to work longer hours, to work two jobs, mental and health stress etc to cover the debts incurred and causes a negative impact on the marriage relationship. Or a spouse that does not attempt or refuses to understand their spouse's predominant love language/s (their are 5 love languages) has a negative impact on the marriage relationship - tearing down your marriage relationship rather than building.

[@purelightapologetics4930]

People are talking about domestic abuse and infidelity and I’m not judging the women (and men) in those situations, but this should be a warning to all of us singles: be wise about who you bond yourself to in marriage. It can be lonely and hard staying single, but better that than marriage to the wrong person. Pray a lot and think well and hard before you permanently unite yourself to someone else for life. Marriage is not to be taken lightly.

[@laurenelisej]

My thoughts exactly. I feel so much better about singleness now lol

[@siphesihlemdletshemkhwanaz864]

Perhaps the fear of being alone is also a driver. I really enjoyed this perspective especially that once you're clouded by sexual intimacy you're not likely to consider things rationally

[@dorahmulinge3800]

Honestly, your explanation is very sober, practical and holds us accountable I pray for every single lady, that God will give us wisdom to make the cost analysis. Lack of it has cost a lot of women yet they blame the men that they, with all their wisdom chose. God help us

[@brendah4701]

I agree 100% ❤

[@Svetlana_Zakirova]

Well said, but don’t put all the responsibility on women. God put all the responsibilities for a woman’s happiness on the husband. Since a husband is a ruler of a house, he’s responsible for everything. Every single thing. No middle ground.

[@thepuffinpanda9139]

@@Svetlana_Zakirova Where in the bible does it say that the husband is responsible for the wife's happiness? Also, you clearly have never read Proverbs 31. That woman was responsible for quite a lot.

[@Svetlana_Zakirova]

@@thepuffinpanda9139 everywhere. Read more carefully. And even by human standards you can’t expect to be the ruler of the house and not care about your wife’s happiness. A king with all the authority and little to zero responsibilities is a tyrant and a usurper.

[@thepuffinpanda9139]

@@Svetlana_Zakirova Then please enlighten me oh careful reader. Name one verse. It sounds like you just want to push off all responsibility for your own life and put it on others. Newsflash, you will be miserable whether you are married or not if you expect other people to make you happy. A good husband cares about the happiness of his wife but he can't make you happy. Only you can do that.

[@christellen3077]

Very good point. Estimating the costs. This person's flaws do they outweigh his qualities? Does our relationship dynamic works to the point that it is better than me living alone. Would I benefit from his leadership style? Can I appreciate his leading style or not? Can Inwork with it? Is he accepting of my flaws? Does he really is content with me in regards of the balance btwn my flaws and my qualities? Hmmmm.

[@nenyeo6090]

Yesss. All of that

[@rewW86]

whoa... I didn't know "Men ruled over woman". That's a pretty scary thought, with that type of thinking I could understand why a woman wouldn't want to be married.

[@Omatimestwo]

Thank you. That is a scary thought and I think it’s what a lot of Christian women are buying into. A woman should never give up her autonomy to another. As a Christian I am responsible for my own actions. If two are becoming one flesh and joining together they should be making decisions together. One person’s desires should never trump another person’s desires just because they are in charge. Every person needs to find out the expectations of their future partner. If I had to be the one to constantly give in on everything, I wouldn’t enjoy that at all.

[@ethanweber7976]

@@Omatimestwo Headship is biblical, but it should NOT be abusive or selfish. Two things go hand in hand, the wife's submission and the husbands loving/sacrificial leadership.

[@mrsevergreentree]

Our culture today also teaches that men are disposable..so when a woman feels that his "cost" are higher than the "benefits " she wants to let him go even though having an intact family and teaching our children to persevere in those hard season is absolutely beneficial to thier mental health (im not talking about abuse and infedility) So MARRIED woman please make sure your cost to benefits analysis is not skewed by selfishness and the standards of others intsagram etc..help break generational curses of divorce

[@Jenny-fl5cn]

Wise woman.

[@mimia.4810]

Culture doesn't teach men are disposable, many men make themselves disposable.

[@Beatrichay]

I don't think this is true. If anything, many women idolize marriage and seem to value themselves based on whether they can attract a man. Like the poster said - women are demanding husbands from God and accepting unwise partnerships.

[@michaelaozuka5179]

such an amazing commentary on your part, Bindi! I always enjoy your videos, you explain yourself so eloquently, you are very inspiring, also your clothing line, just wow ! I have a few female friends who are getting divorced at present and it hurts my heart how they can just throw their loves away... just wanted to add that God can change a man's heart, all we need is pray, so that the man, if not already, is a godly man who will take good care of his wife. I believe in prayer, not in divorce. Women tend to walk away from often times great men who lack one or two things, after maybe two or three years ! We should pray more and try to become better wives, changing ourselves, and eventually the man would come around 🙏🕊

[@jannetteprins1180]

Maybe it is also worth to consider that in the US every day 3 women are killed by an intimate partner. Marriage is not always as safe as you would wish. Specially in marriages where there is a lot of inequality between the spouses. I hope you will also cover issues like this. Since the bible is quite clear about people who go after the weak. Read psalms 10. And besides, when I read proverbs 31, I doubt if constantly cleaning the house or making beds might be considered as eating the bread of idleness. This woman is a hardworking woman, earning her money to contribute to the costs of the household and to help the poor. Of course every women has to make her own choices, but she has to use all her talents to contribute to the world, which is a lot bigger than her small family, as you can read in Proverbs 31.

[@katiesims3075]

She can contribute to the world by doing service to the community and service to the church. The world doesn’t care if a woman is working or not working. It doesn’t matter that much to be worker bee for some company. What matters is raising up the new generation to be a servant of the lord. Doing that is much harder (not impossible) if both parents are outside the house.

[@faithhannah3271]

@@katiesims3075 Very good comment !

[@Yanina-ls1gy]

Many ,too many cases of women whose lives were taken by an abuser...because the church they were in shamed them into staying,cohersed them with that "God hates divorce "verse and refused to help them when they found the courage to say they were being abused. Women who would be alive if the church preached the Bible and supported women to report their abusers to the police.

[@laurenelisej]

This made me feel so much better about my singleness. Thank u

[@T.H-v4h]

Me too we should enjoy this stage of our lives. Its a blessing to be single too.

[@Luxbz23]

I initiated my divorce after years abs years of adultry. We went to the church and counseling. He didn’t want to pay to file….so I did

[@toade22]

It's 70% of women, in part because generally the costs are too costly for men to initiate. 🤷🏿, It costs women more to remain in many marriages ... Also many men are comfortable to continue in their sin .. or to continue to not be a leader as they are meant to be and remain married.

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

I'm not negating the 70% figure; it's a well known one, but I wonder if the percentage is different in Christian circles. The 70% refers to women, Christian and non-Christian. Are most women in the US practicing Christians and are they complementarian? Because Bindi refers to a man's "rule" and "leadership" and unless a woman is complementarian then those terms aren't really relevant.

[@naamanmagnusanthony9035]

I am glad someone is breaking it down and also putting good energy out there. Wish you all the best

[@nwbest4336]

The bible says for men to love your wife and women to submit to husband. You DON'T get one without the other. Very simple!

[@djidjine5082]

Preach! Someone told me that when a man treats you right, you will find yourself submitting to him without even thinking about it

[@desirahharris]

True.

[@ninagrace-lee8323]

Exactly. Are there rebellious women? Sure. But they’re rebellious in many ways. Women don’t just up and get a divorce. If the men want to stay married, better love her as Christ loved the church. Submission would be a lot easier for her lol

[@wyattbrule12688]

@@djidjine5082a man is not accountable to you, nor are you to him, we are all responsible to obey God regardless of what our spouse does. God said marriage is a covenant and let no (hu)man separate what God has joined together. That means I’m staying married and agape loving my spouse whether they reciprocate or not. The “husbands, love your wife…” verse is an attitude, not a gender specific roll. All married people are to love their spouses even unto death, as Christ died for us while we were yet sinners.

[@fromchaosyogalenanovack695]

Spitting facts as usual. As someone on the long road of repetence this is a very real trap we as women fall into. We found a church and I am taking notes from your videos so I can guide my daughter better. Thank you!

[@DM-ox6sh]

Just saw this suggestion, clicked, heard for about 30 seconds, then subscribed, then continued watching. I like her energy.

[@samantharivera7747]

Great video Bindi!! What I look for in a man who will be my husband is respectability and willingness to know and understand me. I very much want and intend to submit to my husband. If I can respect him and trust that he knows me well enough to make the best decisions for me and us then I know I can confidentiality fulfill my duties as his wife. I don't want to put myself in a situation where I nag my husband. So if I meet someone who causes me stress or unrest within, I know he isn't for me. I believe it would cause internal conflict for me to submit to a man I don't respect or trust. Your hair is growing so beautifully by the way. I wish you and your family continued success.

[@thomasjust2663]

"if I can respect him" sounds like you would marry someone that you might or might not respect or that you doubt he represents your best marriage interest's?

[@truthinlovemama]

Very wise!

[@penniek4438]

Hahaha! Well said my dear sister! Of course every young woman before marriage wants to submit to and respect their husband. But after marriage, its a different story. You see, words and actions are no relatives at all sometimes. Am single too BTW, and I always spoke about submission, ever wondering why married women can't simply submit like the Bible says, till one day when I discovered I had no single atom of submission. Behold, I had no idea what I was talking about. I wasn't submissive to my father, not submissive to the church, and most authorities around me. So the question I had was, if I cannot submit today-to my family plus others, how will I submit tomorrow to my husband? U can do a personal check as well whether u are submissive to the current authority in your life. U might get surprised! But all in all, I like your reply!

[@samantharivera7747]

@@penniek4438 I think you hit the nail on the head. I want to submit and I also know that I am a submissive woman.

[@Omatimestwo]

I worry about the be all and end all idea of submission. I don’t think it means what a lot of women think it means. The Bible says the two become one flesh. Making decisions together as a unit is important, otherwise the woman takes a backseat of importance in the relationship. A husband and wife should never move forward on a decision until both feel comfortable with a situation. That’s what being united means. If a husband’s heart greatly trusts in his wife he will not feel the need to dictate every part of her life. Indeed she is an individual with her own ideas and goals, although they are moving forward together. The Bible does say the wife is to revere her husband and men and women are certainly different, but that does not mean a wife wants someone to tell them what to do constantly. We are not children and I would resent someone ordering about my life. It’s not a realistic way to live. If the husband says, would you please put the kids to bed a little earlier because I’d like more time just the two of us, a loving person would say, sure, I understand that, and I’ll try to do that from now on. If the wife says, hey, it really bothers me when you dump a bunch of clothes on the floor and leave them, would you put them in this hamper? A loving person would say, sure, I’ll try to do that from now on. No ordering about, no one always getting their own way, no one left feeling less than. Husband and wife should be a team and pull together.

[@10024westsidenyc]

Very wise words, I agree! I love your use of the cost benefit analysis in terms of assessing whether marriage to a particular man is worth it.

[@amandadetaylor]

Hi I have a question. How are young women supposed to know if the man they want to choose to get married to will provide provision? Many young women desire to get married young to young men, and young people nowadays don't have the same American economy that our parents or grandparents had to thrive on-an economy where one spouse could support the whole family with his salary alone. I always thought I would be a wife that would stay home and take care of the home and kids while my husband worked, but we can't afford for me to stay home, and many couples like that. Should young women wait for an older, more established man to swoop them off their feet? And reject the God-fearing young man that stands in front of them just because they can't provide her the ability to stay home?

[@brandischroeder267]

Are there things you and your husband are willing to cut out of your budget? Have you sat down together to figure out what you're actually spending versus your earnings? I know in my household, it would not make sense for us to pay for childcare because I would only be bringing home like 400 a month and that amount isn't worth the time being out of the home and stressed all the time.If staying home is important to both of you, could your husband get more training to increase his income? Just some food for thought. 😁

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

@@brandischroeder267 I don't think that the OP is married, but was posing a general question. Nevertheless you made some good points. The finance conversation is one every couple should have regardless, but esp if one will be a stay at home spouse. For the OP: Susanne Venker's podcasts often cover this issue. Would be worth a listen. She mentions looking at different/less expensive parts of the country to live in. Would also like to suggest using your imagination to envision about the type of life you want to lead, the type of husband/marriage you want? Are you clear on your values and beliefs? What kind of values and beliefs do you want your future husband to have? What kind of character/personality would you want him to have? Do you want a complementarian/egalitarian marriage? A bit of introspection/prayer will help clarify things for you.

[@ksmith6119]

Hi there. As a married women of going on 12 years, my husband and I have struggled with this. And we've decided to do a major course correction in our lives so that he can position himself as the primary provider, while I focus more on ministry and our children. How are women to know if he's going to be a good provider: 1) Does he value his role as a provider? If he's not there yet, what's his active plan and to position himself for that? 2) Is he cultivating more than one income stream through a side business, trade, investments, or other forms of passive income. Or is he the type that depends on a job and waits on a paycheck as the sole income source? 3) Do you all have matching visions of what your lifestyle should cost? If he wants an apartment but you want a mansion, there needs to be alignment first. If you're both God-fearing, please watch this other video by Bindi: kzbin.info/www/bejne/poHUpGuDnNSenrs

[@wanjawaf]

You can always see a man's efforts to provide even though he may not have much but does he sit around all day complaining or does he go out there daily trying to make a living and taking on new challenges? In terms of financial challenges, what worked for me is getting the kids out of conventional school to homeschool them. That drastically cut down our budget. No more school fees (bare minimum costs in my country), transport costs etc. We also moved to a cheaper neighbourhood out of town since we were now homeschooling. I'm a lawyer by profession but the change I've seen in my kids since homeschooling them cannot be put in words. It's like all they needed was someone to truly pour into their lives daily. It was worth quiting my career for them. We also lost quite a number of friends in the process because we chose to stop keeping up with the Jonses. To each his own; it worked for us.

[@amandadetaylor]

@@brandischroeder267 I feel like staying home is only important to me not my husband, he wants me to continue to bring in income.

[@mercifullove8246]

I love when u put the verse up on the screen 😍

[@RUTHGroup]

Absolutely, loving the verses!

[@claudiajones879]

Beautiful message I’m married and this is something I wished I took seriously /and transparent about my needs I went in not knowing any better But God is good and faithful and is guiding me along the way and my husband is a hard worker, great father and provider and friend ❤

[@Ehlaar]

but you didnt say great husband

[@claudiajones879]

@@Ehlaar those are characteristics of a good husband 💕

[@em77775]

Have you interviewed women who had valid reasons for divorce to see why they really filed divorce? This sounds like a whole lot of huge assumptions. Men are supposed to be leaders, which is why the enemy wants to do all he can to prevent men from being good leaders who love their wives and honor God in their marriage and family, so we are seeing all kinds of chaos in marriages and families today because men aren't leading. What happens though, that leads to divorce? Men are abusing, cheating, abandoning, neglecting, etc. Or men doing porn behind their wife's back and refusing to touch her at all. Could you try and imagine how horrifically traumatic it is to go through that? These things not only break the marriage bond, but they are greatly traumatic to a woman's spirit. I have gone through these things. They are things that can be healed and forgiven and God can restore, but sometimes you have a person who simply won't repent from their abuse or adultery, even despite taking it to the elders at church for the man to do what he's supposed to do. Some people fight and stands for their marriage for years and that other spouse remains hardhearted and unrepentant. It's not about having these princessy dreams dashed.

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

Yes I made a similar comment earlier on. That 70% figure is always weaponised against women as if they just woke up one morning and thought: "I know, I'll petition for divorce today". It's too easy to just disparage women for petitioning, without trying to understand WHY, esp in Christian circles where women are encouraged to suffer all manner of physical, mental and emotional abuse before considering a divorce. And I can't help feeling that if it were men who had 70% initiation figure, then WOMEN would be the ones getting blamed for it.

[@em77775]

@@dumfriesspearhead7398 When a woman files, she's DONE. She's obviously been through some horrible stuff she can no longer survive. Women are usually the ones trying so hard to hold it all together. Let's give women credit when it's due. If they're the one filing, it's going to be a just cause the vast majority of the time.

[@rach9466]

@@em77775 that’s not always true - and saying so paints all the men as evil abusing tyrants? I’ve worked in family law, seeing divorces - it goes both ways.

[@em77775]

@@rach9466 yeah, I wasn't implying that women don't break their marriages. I am simply explaining why a woman would file divorce and chances are it's not because of fantasies.

[@rach9466]

@@em77775 fair enough. I do think she qualified it with ‘there are many reasons’ and was speaking to the ‘I’m unhappy’ reason.

[@yourgirlshani]

This was great teaching, thank you. In a world where happiness is dominant, that is not the dominant factor in marriage. It is a part but emotions change and marriage needs to be based off of values, beliefs, etc.

[@keshiawilson530]

This is absolutely true and I do agree with this. The Bible do say count the cost. Who intend to build a tower, does not sit it down first and count the cost.

[@1susiemusic]

A lot of people, even self-proclaimed Christians, aren't ready to hear the truth. Unfortunately God's design and ways have been so watered down that people think you're speaking something far off when you speak the truth. I'm thankful to have found your channel. There are others still wanting to truly please our Master, Jesus.

[@teluvv66]

I am still amazed yet again at the wisdom coming from this woman. As a man I often take the beat down being challenged and held accountable by other men of God for my role in marriage as the leader. However, I don't hear much from women two women as to what their side of the table looks like. I have to say that I have been divorced and remarried. The previous divorce was exactly what was articulated in this video. That is an amazing statistic about 70% of divorce is initiated by women in America. Thank you so much sister in christ. Please times a million continue to Proclaim the word of God and the truth of his word exactly how you have been inspired by God.

[@beautyofdawn9565]

An older lady I worked for had amazing advice regarding divorce. It's not an option unless in the case of the three As: Adultery, Abuse or Addiction. I think if we followed that rule a lot less people would have divorces and we would actually have to talk and fix our problems.

[@danilaroche1156]

I love this! I had a boyfriend I was certain would propose. We had our first 'fight ' and I lost my temper. He completely pulled away and refused to speak to me. Just went MIA. I'm wondering if he is just extremely sensitive or abusing me with silent treatment. Maybe I dodged a bullet?

[@priscalumbala7580]

@danilaroche1156 maybe he dodged a bullet. Seems like you need to work on your temper.

[@lison973]

Umm I hate to disagree with you. God never intended for Israel to have a king. Furthermore though God intended for men to have dominion, Never Rulers over women. Women are designed to be help mates. When I think of a ruler, I think of one with unquestioned authority. I think men and women were built with the unquestioned authority over animals, over the environment but not over women. As a result of sin women desires were for their husband. I don’t think we should use the result of sin as Gods original plan. He intended for us to work together. Just as HE and the Father are one. Similarly because of sin one part of the God head stepped down in stature to elevate man kind. Because Jesus never sinned he was still seen in the eyes of God as equal to God. Because of the wife’s vulnerabilities due to sin, a husband still sees his wife as his partner; not something or someone to be ruled over, not trampling his dominion on, but loving her, as he loves himself, and uplifting her just as God did the Son.

[@AndresPrez]

Sure..... ignore the parts of the Bible that you don't like... and create your own theology.

[@lison973]

@@AndresPrez I go by scripture. I at least quoted about 8-9 scriptures in my commentary, you have quoted none. I’m always open to learn. I can reference my Bible sources if necessary for your edification.

[@AndresPrez]

@@lison973 You didn't mention submission..... 😂 You don't like that part of the bible? What about "but loving her, as he loves himself" Loving himself is biblical?

[@lison973]

@@AndresPrez well if the husband and wife become one flesh Gen 2:24, then a good husband will love his wife as he loves himself. Ephesians. 5 :25 -30 says “25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: ” If a man is not ready to give his life for you, he should not be marrying you.

[@lison973]

@@AndresPrez submission is not a problem just as Jesus submitted to the father so should a wife submit to her husband in Christ. Both roles are seen as equal in the eyes of God. So long as the man is leading as Christ as the head.

[@rissroo4325]

I’ve seen these headlines before and my first question is what are the reasons for such a drastic statistic? How much of it is from the wife’s selfishness? How much of it is from the husband cheating? How much of it is from abuse from the husband? How much of it is from the wife cheating on the husband? I would like to know the statistics of the reasonings and talk about those. You are right on the money when you said women are mentally compromised when they sleep with a man before marriage.

[@-living4jesus4ever-]

Will you consider doing a video on the different personalities of men? I think it’s easy for women who have a steady husband to become discontent and easily take for granted their more tender spirits for example. I’ve heard there is the visionary, the commander and the steady husband. I would love your thoughts and I think women would benefit from understanding how their husband is wired and how to appreciate them.

[@audiannichealing]

🙂

[@ntblkenf]

I am a married Christian woman, and while normally I don't agree with divorce, I have to say I have come mighty close, due to my husband's multiple affairs, drinking and abuse. We both came from highly religious homes and met in a parochial school and when we were courting, he often would come to take me to Church, about a hour or so away, by public transportation. Then he joined the Navy and changed. Things are better now but it has been quite the challenge.

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

"Multiple affairs?" Divorce is permitted in cases of adultery. But things seem to be getting better for you, however you might want to take an STD test, for your safety.

[@sashanoel167]

This was so well explained and true...I understand better why problems arise in marriages I see including mine. Many women are so afraid of being alone that we don't really take the time necessary to make the best choice in a mate, in a ruler. I will certainly be sharing this vlog. You are wise beyond your years.... May God Bless your channel and ministry to us women, young and old💌

[@dorcasbrown1553]

Always dropping these gems! Thankyou

[@kerrymartin7557]

What's a prince if not a (future) ruler?

[@sharon6981]

That was good!

[@winnie.Chris100]

Thanks Bindi, the Lord sent you to Me this morning. You just saved my marriage 💑. Xx

[@audiannichealing]

🙂

[@annab3085]

I put up with an alcoholic for years. My family and friends lovingly warned me but I didn't listen. I lost my virginity to this man and I was in that drunken stupor Bindi talked about. I had a moment where by the grace of God I finally "woke up" and it was a rude awakening. My sister is going through the same thing right now and I pray for her daily because I worry for her safety. He has shown his colors but she keeps looking the other way. Ladies, please think before sleeping with a man. God doesn't want us to do this to protect us from the "costs" of sin.

[@ethanweber7976]

@@Narrowway7 Talk to your elders at your church. People in comments on youtube aren't always going to give good biblical advice.

[@wanjawaf]

Please also look into breaking generational curses and alters against marriage in your family. Search for Pastor Kevin LA Ewing. He has great videos on this

[@Mary_QQQ]

Count the cost BEFORE marrying a particular man. Get to know him for many months. Make sure he is a true Christian if you are a Christian.♥️ from Australia 🇦🇺

[@josephmoore6258]

Thank you for sharing that message, I am a man and I know about when you speak about women are looking for Prince Charming like Disney, but but when you are in a relationship with them they see something different because the world have showed them the Prince Charming and not the man, and he has to deal with everyday life just like she has to do and they see something totally different, I've been married one time, and would love to do it again I believe in marriage God said a man who finds a wife finds a good thing, and I've been celibate almost eight years in my single life, and I also want to say the speaker you are so pretty, and thank you for letting people know the real truth about marriage

[@prophetess_cb5941]

I have no problem of a man "ruling" over me. The problem however is, can he rule over himself first or Is he a boy in a man's body? Do he understand the responsibilities of rulership (headship)? Ephesians 5:22-33 expresses both parties roles but many women don't submit because many men don't know how to LOVE her as CHRIST examplifies for HIS bride. BTW, the original plan of YAH was not for the man to RULE over his wife but to see her as his partner. The ruling came in when EVE was receiving her punishment in Genesis 3 for disobeying YAH by eating the fruit. All parties involved received their punishment. So him ruling over her is actually a curse.

[@sweetiehearts]

Waw you really stretched my brain today, not that I didn’t know what the Bible says but it’s the points you made. I kind of felt like you freed me in a sense. We really need to stay pure to be sober minded.

[@roselinededua]

Much needed conversation especially as Christian women. Thank you so much for this discussion

[@vanessagrant4042]

Very true and excellent point. I’m living this right now. Important to make good decisions. Marriage is technically forever

[@tawanaharris4600]

Thank you SO MUCH for putting out this video. This detail regarding marriage is So overlooked and very rarely (almost Never) discussed, yet it is so very crucial when deciding if, and who to marry. This information needs to be blasted from the mountain tops of every corner of the world in my opinion! This is something most women never stop to ponder and some of them never really realize what it actually will mean or look like in their everyday life. And if they do, they don't, in my opinion, come to the right conclusion about it. This is seriously something I have thought about for a while when pondering marriage. Women need to be so honest with themselves and their potential husbands when discussing this topic as marriage is for life. Again, thank you for this, for your honesty and transparency. This definitely needs to be talked about A Lot more and I agree that it is one of the main reasons why women lead in the initiation of divorce so much more than men a lot of the time. They've been lied to since they were toddlers and go into marriage with a delusion of it's setup and permanency.

[@dorahmulinge3800]

Some women don't ask God for a husband, they demand. Wheeew, Lord help us

[@maureenwairimu2499]

Hi I love you,but wrong analysis,mans headship over his wife is not a result of the curse for Christians for we have been redeemed in our second Adam it might apply for Judaism or Islam but not for us,our husbands lead us as christ leads the church I think that's why Paul uses christ as an example for men to make the distinction between old testament submission which is a curse and new testament submission which is a blessing.

[@theresa.m.]

I don’t believe in divorce but I have been neglected for years. Marriage is hard when your partner won’t change. No one talks about what happens when your partner changes irrevocably from the man you married and you’re stuck.

[@CM-sy3to]

The answer is written by Sheri Rose Shepherd in His Princess! All the emotional neglect is taken care of by a deeper relationship with Jesus and the Father! Best book written for staying sane and feeling loved while staying in a loveless marriage.

[@wendymtzc]

We honor our vows because we love God and our husband, when the love for our spouse fails, we still have to honor God who is worthy of our sacrifice, not saying it’s easy though.

[@opinionbytriz]

This is true. For me, I expected my husband to be honorable & faithful at the very least.... he lied to me during our whole relationship...i didn't know he was flirting, lusting, cheating during our entire relationship dating & into marriage. The Lord is indeed changing him.... he's no longer doing that stuff. But now i need a lot of healing.... most of the time i just want to leave.... but it's not practical & i know that there are worst men out there. God asked me to give it a year. So, we'll see what God does in both of us.

[@joyaustin3140]

Lord this is Gods wisdom ! This is absolutely trueeeee! He is going to rule over you and you must count up the cost . Every believer ought to hear this

[@GoodMaineRoss]

🤔 We’ve been lied to about a lot in order to function within this system a certain way. We’re taught how to celebrate Valentines Day, Yet don’t understand what Love is (1 Corinthians 13:4) so how can we as people have successfull marriages knowing all this??? Simple, we have to be very responsible with our RIGHT to choose. Educate ourselves using The Bible vs The worldly view on topics such as: Love, Money, Self Value, wisdom, how to treat each other, etc. I know it’s a lot BUT Your mind, Body, Spirit, Money, and Time has great value! So yes, it’s your responsibility to value these commodities you possess and Enjoy The Journey when it comes to marriage. Don’t compare your marriage to others because no 2 marriages are the same and Please, go to a marriage counselor before getting married. It’s a great investment! Cool video and enjoy y’all Holiday Season!

[@1985tmc]

I hope that God’s will, will be sought out by women as well. How often is God trying to help us forsake what we call “good” to trust Him for His complete and perfect will? I was convicted about this personally and as a result had to walk away from a 5 year long relationship with a guy. God’s will is earnest and especially since the Bible also says Christ is the head of the man. It’s good to gain knowledge about Christ’s authority based on scripture.

[@gemsandpearlswithlove]

You're right! I really think many of us women don't truly know what we are walking into, we aren't ready to be a wife. I know I certainly had no idea but I'm glad I learned before it was too late for my marriage!

[@evasccl7846]

I agree with what you have said and can clearly see where you're coming from in your statement. In today's world, young women have it more challenging compared to us, in the sense that there is so much "on offer" and such easy access to anything and everything... the culture against what a woman's role is when married, is also so disturbingly twisted. Also, we don't get the teachings in church about it with young people, and pretty often female preachers aren't helping and the questions without answers rise... that is when all of a sudden, it is left to whatever is convenient at that moment. Thank you for making this video, very relevant!

[@megustaelchocolate2889]

You all are obsessed with the role of women in marriage; women are not servants or slaves of men; and many women do not want nor will we allow this effort that you have in which men are the ones who must make the decisions and 'command' over us Then you wonder why many people, especially women, don't want to know anything about religion... so that they tell me that my only purpose as a woman is to serve my husband and have children? No, thanks

[@evasccl7846]

@@megustaelchocolate2889 You have unfortunately twisted it all. The Bible is clear for those who want to be male and female serving God through marriage according to God's word. Also, not all women and not all men are called or desiring to marry and that choice is biblically correct too. What is not godly is to have the marriage exclussive benefits, outside of marriage, that is call fornication and a sin. The video is about marriage between a man and a woman hence the comments.

[@megustaelchocolate2889]

@@evasccl7846 But who are you to say what is acceptable or not? In my case I am an atheist and I have nothing to do with religion but that does not mean that I do not want to have a man by my side; but it is people like you who want to make believe that if your relationship is not following the word of God it will never be good and it is not like that. There are many lasting and happy marriages of Atheist people where the man does not control or 'command' over the woman and is based on mutual respect and love. Therefore, if I want I can have the benefits of marriage outside of marriage or I can get married without having to rely on the supposed 'roles' that the Bible commands even though it bothers people like you.

[@evasccl7846]

@@megustaelchocolate2889I am me and you are you. You are the one bothered by what i said as an atheist you think differently but I don't attack you. I dont have enough faith to be an atheist, therefore, it is obvious we will have different opinions and views. Just embrace it and respect the fact that we are in two different teams 😉

[@jazzyLee573]

@@evasccl7846 I love your response.

[@miriansp1020]

Yes, I agree! The sad part about this is that some men take advantage of their position(ruling over women)in a marriage and mistreat their wives! No kindness 😢

[@Mindsetolympics]

It's hard to be objective when you ... A) do not have a strong relationship with the Lord before marrying B) are not surrounded by a multitude of wise counselors. C) idolize the idea of marriage D) do not choose to obey what the Holy Spirit tells you about this person. E) do not use the word of God to defend your "standards" for a spouse. F) are not focused on a common goal you and your potential spouse could venture into potentially. You put a semi-sad reality in a very encouraging way. Thank you!

[@hdskl2150]

Derek Prince has a good sermon on why marriages fail - he said in his experience counseling hundreds/thousands of couples, the common problem he saw was that the couple went in thinking WHAT CAN I GET from the other person rather than WHAT CAN I GIVE. For it is more blessed to give ❤

[@jeneeskinner7481]

Studies show that oftentimes women held resentment from doing a lot the emotional and domestic labor in their marriages. If both adults are working fulltime jobs, it's necessary for them to split domestic tasks. Instead of focusing so heavily on romance in courtship, I wish we talked about values, lifestyle, expectations we have of ourselves AND our partners. Obviously you won't know everything, but I find having the conversations can help prepare you for what's to come. However, if the man is working and the woman's at home, it is her job to take care of the household. Of course she needs breaks and a life outside of that, but both parties have to contribute to the relationship if it's going to work. He can't be expected to do the work for you regularly and still perform well at his job, that's too much. As for the emotional labor, start these conversations in courtship to get an understanding of your partner and see if they maintain it over time. How do you handle conflict? How do your values differ? Ppl usually put their best foot forward, but eventually reveal who they are. While romance is nice, it's not a reflection of everyday life. It's an elevated state of being, you won't feel it all the time. And sex is often rushed into before ppl really give themselves an opportunity to know each other, because they base it on how they feel rather than on compatibility and commitment. While you need a partner who communicates and works with you, men are not women and therefore can't be expected to socialize like them. Consider how you teach boy or man to treat you and society as a wife/mother. And it's important not to mistake a woman's need to heal and character build for her husband not doing enough.

[@SamuelDanielStrikesAgain]

This sort of honesty is rare; thank you bindi 🙏🏽🎉

[@Stanfordk08]

This video has some great advice. Make sure the benefits of choosing a particular man to lead you outweigh the cost of our sacrifice. Thanks

[@leslieholloway8038]

This is an EXCELLENT analysis of marriage from a female perspective. God bless you!

[@km-lw2uc]

The man is less of a king more in a position of lord . Some of yall use the words wrong many have never ever met a king but their are many lord and Jesus is king of kings and lord of lords. Some of these people yall call kings are trifling

[@philamakhubu28]

Glory to Jesus, thank you for you illustration. I remember the scripture in 1 Samuel 8 is the one God gave me about a guy who wanted to pursue me and I was tempted but that scripture kept me from falling.

[@Sis_Annah]

Great analysis as Always. I thank The Most High for the inspiration and right words he gives you

[@hollowbethyname]

Thank you Lord for allowing us to adding value to each other's lives I love my God ordained Wife equal give and take 🙏👑💜💍💜👑🙏

[@w3n33dam1racl3]

If I would have know that the Bible said the husband will "rule" over me, I would have never got married especially after having disagreements with my husband about this for 9 years. Yea having "king" also means they think they have control over you, tell you to quit your career you worked hard for.

[@catherinelevison3310]

Another big issue to think about is you get only one chance to choose this person…you’ll be committing to this promise you make, even if he wrongs you. Look at the wedding vows and at the entire Bible from Genesis to Revelation. You’ll be free of this choice after he dies, then you can attempt to choose another spouse. Instead too many think they’ll just divorce if it doesn’t work out. Or, if they don’t think that ahead of the marriage they think about it after, when things don’t go the way they hoped. Look at it as the covenant before God that it is.

[@johncannady9255]

Only true Christians believe in marriage permeance, choose carefully or suffer for life.

[@NappyHappyDrumMajor]

The Word of the Lord is true. Thank you! ♥️

[@josephmoore6258]

God put the right woman on this platform to give out this message I don't think I ever heard a woman say what you just said about marriage at all this was something that God has given you and you have shared it with the world thank you for your blessings, I'm going to save this message on my email, and when I do meet someone I'm going to let them listen to what you said and see how they respond, thank you what a great message, and you're beautiful have a blessed life

[@dinaf_tommyf]

I agree with some of what you are saying, but I find the delivery condescending. Why do you blame women? The culture does mislead women, but how does the culture mislead men?

[@AndresPrez]

Yeah...... let's not. For.once, make.women accountable

[@goodground7715]

This comment section is full of some bitter worldly men. Most people don’t do a “deep analysis” of who they decide to marry. Where is faith? where is love? Marriage shouldn’t be a business transaction. Sometimes the tone of these videos come across as prideful and hateful towards women. I also agree with a lot of what she is saying but sloooow down there. How can you base a whole video on what some survey said? And then place the blame solely on women? Men who refuse to step up and be the head of their household are to blame as well. This is why I’m always weary of people who don’t speak from experience. They tend to be a little lacking in the empathy department.

[@AndresPrez]

@@goodground7715 You are the ones who choose the men... But you hate responsibility apparently. Accountability is kryptonite for you guys

[@Monique2770]

Ladies, Do not marry a man who In disobedient to the word of God likewise men, You will find yourself in a ring with the devil, the enemies mission is to take both of you down and if he has one willing vessel he will use that one to destroy the both of you and your family, But if you remain strong in the word of God you will overcome. This is why it is important to be very vigilant and not be unequally yoked.

[@LashonDCampbell]

Hello and good morning I enjoyed watching your video today You are a blessing Love your channel

[@Jayisevolving]

😯 wow! Very eye opening. I wish I would’ve had this wise point of view before I got married. I’m saving this and sending it to my friends desiring to be married.