Wife's Paralyzed Ex-husband is Dying of Cancer and Wants to Move in With Him to...

Wife's Paralyzed Ex-husband is Dying of Cancer and Wants to Move in With Him to Care for Him, Making Me Feel Like a Third Wheel in My Own Marriage.
#redditrelationship #redditupdate
Timestamp-
0:00 - Story 1
13:36 - Story 2

[@DraxXThanos]

Problem is that they've included Bob in everything, frankly there's boundaries and moving in with him was a dumb one. Yes marriage is ful of compromises but moving in with an ex is not a compromise.

[@thecursed01]

i think the problem is more that op is 40 meters. that might be problematic XD

[@TkTk-pt8od]

Poor Bob, how much bad luck can one person have.😢

[@avthecool129]

Fr 😢

[@Tennisers]

Of course she'd go back to bob, hes 46 meters tall.

[@lordcirrhosisofliver]

holy shit, denial really isn't just a river in egypt.

[@AmondoDazz]

😂😂😂 I like that

[@RedGaymer69]

Completely sums up my feelings

[@funnyvalentine774]

😂😂😂😂

[@JeSsE10mCcOy11]

This is a literal "Norman Osborn" moment

[@connorh6718]

first story likely isn't accurate. Someone who's paralyzed from the waist down can still do a lot on their own. He wouldn't need constant care like op describes. People like that can even drive, with the right car. He might need some help but not 24/7 care like OP is suggesting.

[@lawler197]

I'm assuming it's from the neck down, in this case.

[@connorh6718]

@@lawler197 OP said it was from the waist down at the very beginning of his story though. Not even 30 seconds into the video. Otherwise yeah, I would've assumed that too

[@lawler197]

@@connorh6718 that's fair, shirt term memory loss is a b. Yeah then, it's a little weird.

[@arhael3594]

He had full time nurse. It wasn't about taking care, it was about him not being alone.

[@hnorth5205]

A lot of these stories are rewritten so aren't an exact copy paste of the original post

[@TheDCAUgothic]

Story 1 is just so sad. 😢

[@user-qp3kl8rq2m]

Sounds crazy (not even one minute in)

[@shawnbrooks5293]

Hahaha..my man says his wife, who didn't take her vows seriously by abounding her first husband, is a great person and would never leave him or cheat on him.

[@Oblivionwolf38]

ah never thought about the in sickness and in health did anyone

[@vikafigol3397]

I suppose, OP really got alot of people, who don't understand or refuse to understand the whole situation. She didn't abandon him, she cared and still care for him. Just like OP said, her mental, emotional and financial situation was completely drained. She just ended a marriage, that would've crumble into resentment or just a miserable life for the both of them with time. She never abandoned him, i don't underatand, maybe you just straight up go to comments, without listening to story or what?

[@shawnbrooks5293]

@@vikafigol3397 it can be dressed up anyway you want. She left her husband because he became paralyzed. He wasn't a vegetable. OP says he had a job. It became hard, she bailed.

[@nilyanilya9797]

​​​@@shawnbrooks5293 he said that ex was unable to give her children too. She wished a family and ex and she probably aggreed on having a family before the marriage. Even though the accident is upsetting, if the expectations from marriage were unsatisfied, the only thing one can do is leaving. Not having children is definitely a dealbreaker for her.

[@vikafigol3397]

@@shawnbrooks5293 listen to story, before saying anything, for god sake. She did not abandon him, she still helped him after their divorce, she still care for him, she couldn't stay because of her own views and mental status at a time. If you can't understand how different abandonment and simply falling out of love is, i can give you an example. If she did abandon him or did not want to care for him, she wouldn't care for him now. Or aftet their divorce. Or ever. She would've ACTUALLY abandon him. She did not. If you can't understand information as easy as thay, maybe you shouldn't try to argue

[@TetrisKing]

You can be friends with an ex but it needs more boundaries than that. Seeing them weekly is way too often. The wife was upfront with it and he accepted it so he chose to be in that weird poly situationship. XD

[@HazeyClarity]

So because she couldn't have kids she went to op just so she could have kids while still having feelings for her Ex

[@joshfly210]

Yup an emotional affair, but still has her husband for the physical.

[@dijango0015]

No, because she stopped beeing bobs wife and started beeing his caretaker.

[@HazeyClarity]

@dijango0015 But she still had feelings for Bob making it an emotional affair

[@dijango0015]

@@HazeyClarity maybe, but she didnt hide those Feelings and was upfront about it, so if you get in a relationship with her its your Problem.

[@Lionwoman]

13:22 Do these people know what happens when the woman is the one who has cancer? I bet they wouldn't be that much morale police then for some reason. Not surprised by seen this video's coments and story 2 end comment either.

[@Girlgonewise]

Well, she did vow to be with him in sickness and in health…til death. She never should’ve remarried.

[@heyjohnson5535]

Nothing like being roomates with your wifes exlifelong lover. Take a back seat to your wifes best friend who has enough pull on your wife for her to move her husband and children into his home. She got u fooled player.

[@Isla_ed1ts]

Wow thats bad (i haven’t watched the vid)

[@454fire]

I've never seen someone so content with being a backup plan. I personally wouldn't want to enter a relationship with someone who would still be with their previous partner had they not been paralyzed by an accident, but hey, to each their own I suppose. Second story, how do you even accept those financial terms to begin with? End the relationship on the spot there... Either way, fake story cause super cliche ending with both her coming into the restaurant and the posting of the video that went 'viral'.

[@darkdragonmoderator5504]

Then I assume you'd only ever date people who've never been in a relationship before?

[@454fire]

​@@darkdragonmoderator5504 I appreciate the reply. However, that is not true. The point I was conveying was that the way her previous relationship ended was abnormal. Even though their relationship ended due to caretaker fatigue, she didn't fall out of love with him. She just realized that if she wanted to live for herself and have a family that she would need to be with someone else. If I were to make a comparison, I would say she is very comparable to a widow when it comes to where her heart is at. There are lots of people who have previous relationships, yet won't have this type of dynamic with their previous partner(s). As for your question, I would not be opposed to dating someone who has been in a relationship before. However, in my personal view, I would have zero interest in meeting their past partners. I'm not gonna force my partner to stop being friends with their past partners if there is a post-relationship friendship, but I will have my boundaries and if I feel they are being overstepped and disrespected, then there will be a conversation dictating the future of the relationship.

[@454fire]

@@darkdragonmoderator5504 Firstly, I appreciate the reply. Always nice to have a conversation in the comments. However, regarding your question, that is not true. I also already posted a reply, but I am not seeing it load after I posted it, so apologies if that other one pops up and you see two similar comments. The point I wanted to convey was that the way her relationship ended was abnormal. She didn't fall out of love with him. She just realized that if she wanted to live for herself and start her own family, she would have to pursue someone else. The way I think of her is similar to that of a widow. When you hear stories regarding dating a widow, the overlapping theme is that their former partner is #1 in their heart, but to move on with their lives, they try dating again. In my opinion, I want to be #1 in someone's heart when dating,so that is why I hold my opinion. There are tons of other people who have past relationships who don't hold anywhere close to the dynamic with their past partner the wife in this video displayed. To answer your question, I would not be opposed to dating someone who has been in a relationship before. However, in my opinion, I have zero interest in meeting their partners. Obviously, this would mean I prefer someone who has not been in a relationship, but it's not some requirement. I'm not going to force a partner to end their friendship with an ex if they had a post-relationship friendship, but I would have personal boundaries regarding it. If I felt my boundaries were being overstepped/disrespected, I would have a conversation about it with the partner and how the future of our relationship will be.

[@HomeDolbyTheater]

Bob is happy to destroy something before he leave for good

[@GeordieGunner96]

I've known my friend for over 20yrs, I was in a bad car accident as a passenger but I was injured very very bad & once out the hospital she came every day to make sure I was o.k & eating right cleaning tok around 18mnths to get right & I love her for thar but she has never been any romantic feeling either side its just a great friendship.

[@thecursed01]

story 2: "what's yours is mine and what's mine is mine".

[@strategygalactic]

Never invite another man into your relationship.

[@emily.letsendbslintheuk554]

Feel sorry for all 3 of them, feel sorry for Bob cos of his accident and now his cancer, feel sorry for OPs wife cos she is losing a friend who she has a history with and feel sorry for OP as hes also losing a friend, being a carer for someone is incredably draining, emotionally, physically and mentally let alone financially. I hope OP and his wife lean on each other when Bob passes and i hope Bob passes away easily and not in pain

[@_juju_jojo_]

My own bias is making it foggy for me to agree with this situation. If it were my girl who got parlayed, I'd stick by her side till we perish. Mate for life type sht

[@PunkEnergy88]

He keeps gaslighting himself, it's hilarious

[@kky1797]

Story 1 - shift in his house . . . third man . . . No, not AI at all. 😄 Story 2 - lip-locked each other! 😂

[@isrln]

""Your wife betrayed and left her husband". See i disagree with that" *What a fucking surprise*

[@弓弓]

This OOP guy comments and helps a lot of people

[@joshuarees2354]

First op don't understand till death do us part clearly made me laugh so hard when he said she won't leave if he gets hurt 😂😂 hope he ends up finding out

[@nicoleabdi9631]

i suspect he wrote this comment under his post for himself there's noway people will right this dramatic commenst rather than giving snapback to reality😂

[@DarkEinherjar]

So much for the "in health and sickness" vows... People who leave their partners the moment they need them the most are despicable, and this woman made it even worse by juggling her two relationships like this.

[@Griffin050A1t]

The story was very explicit in the fact SHE WAS THERE TO HELP HIM BECAUSE THEYRE BEST FRIENDS She couldn’t stay because she couldn’t afford it she would have spent her life hating that she sacrificed wanting children for being paycheque to paycheque for him. Would you stay to watch yourself hate your partner? Would you sacrifice all your dreams? She was in a terrible situation and you are determined to make her a bad person. People make decisions that don’t reflect their character because they have no control of their situation.

[@FlipTheBard]

_She didn't mean to hurt me_ But she hurt OP all the same and that's on her. It's hard to understand how can someone be so oblivious(or should it be uncaring?) about how everything might seem from an outside perspective. If anyone were to see them together they would automatically assume that OP's wife was married to Bob and not OP. And yes, that is an emotional affair.

[@l-l-l-l-l-l-l]

That tends to happen to someone who got no backbone and massive insecurities

[@crowbarviking3890]

compassion wihout reason is not a good trait. if it is given freely it has no value when given in a relationship.

[@ianmoritzplatapino3684]

No amount of therapy will make this op growna spine. She is crlsrly having an ea.

[@Rip_mm-tw3pu]

another story nice

[@albertgongora6944]

I'm just going to be straight here if you marry somebody that can leave their first husband when they made the vows to stand by them and sickness and in health which she literally neglected that idea and even though yes I understand she was Bob's carer but she made the commitment to be with this man but instead in a harsh way she decided to say screw Bob because he's not able to give me any more of that good good then I'm going to leave him for some good good and you know I hate to say it that's when she met op fact that OP said his wife would never leave him while he was injured it's like dude did you not meet Bob so there you go that's all he needs to know besides everything else I just talked about

[@Unicornlover12895]

The problem is this is an emotional affair. Why because both of their lives revolve around bob when bob passes the marriage will not last. Why because they cannot separate themselves as three way marriage going to a two person marriage. They will not last because none of this is healthy. And his wife doesn’t value marriage because it’s through sickness and health and she couldn’t stick by that. She proved she doesn’t value vows or morals why would you even marry her. That’s just wrong everything in this situation is wrong. And now you are setting boundaries? It’s too late dude

[@DepleuerAct]

does anyone know the original "meme" video of the cheating wife in story 2 and knows i like or something?

[@joshuarees2354]

Op in story 1 the biggest simp how did you not see the red flag she left her paralysed husband she for the streets

[@handlebarmustache]

Second story is just an incel fantasy by a neckbeard.

[@DigitallyAdmiringHumanity]

anyone know what subreddit they are getting these stories from?

[@PMMcIntyre]

OP is 100% pathetic

[@saintoncorps8449]

Wtf OP was actually right?? Here I was hoping this random comment section would be above seeing things in black and white

[@travv88]

46 meters? that's pretty big

[@UmeshKumar-um7ze]

Durr, see a therapist 🤖

[@banespeace9079]

So she abandoned her first husband and she refused to take he commitment to you seriously and you are surprised? Dude I'd say grow a backbone buuuut that ship has long since sailed

[@Z3RO_ANGER]

People here in the first 1 hour 👇

[@cathef117]

Emotional affair much

[@jaylarkin4331]

OP having a midlife crisis. 😂😂😂😂

[@desertdude8274]

46METERS

[@ShadowT23]

Op has to give the ex husband a visit with a pillow

[@_juju_jojo_]

Underrated comment this genuinely made me laugh

[@KenW418]

Everybody is criticizing the wife for leaving her husband after he was paralyzed, but I'm willing to bet most of you would do it too lol. It's the harsh truth, but most people don't know themselves as well as they think they do. It's easy to criticize others for their actions when you've never been in the same situation.

[@_juju_jojo_]

I wanna judge her but at the same time, I get it. It's confusing tbh. Life isn't black and white and I try to keep an open mind and put away my bias

[@joshfly210]

Just because someone does something in front of your face doesn’t mean it’s not an emotional affair. Just because you know about it doesn’t make it any less an emotional affair. Just change being there for him for having intercourse with him and it’s an affair.

[@arhael3594]

By that logic every friend in your life is an emotional affair.

[@GreyLeo]

So ppl don't understand what it means to be married. You take an oath before God and your earthly family where you agree that through sickness and in healthy you will be by their side. Its cringe when ppl don't live up to that.

[@_juju_jojo_]

Got me thinking. If your spouse cheated on you, would you divorce them? Just cuz they broke their vows does it mean you break your vows? Wouldn't that make that statement hypocritical? Not trying to call you out or anything just genuinely curious cuz Story 1 is a morally grey situation

[@thousandyardgavri2785]

Why is it that Reddit always want to resort to divorce/separation?.. imo, this situation is fixable.. Wife may have made a selfish decision but lets be real, we'd make the same decision..

[@blue3532]

I feel bad for the kids on the story 1. No one care for them. Lol

[@RandoWisLuL]

i feel story 2. Todays relationship scene is pretty toxic. I too have a hard time trusting people, especially women, after going through this a few times. People think its weird im not constantly looking to get into a relationship.

[@Fiercetits]

Naw Op got played by his wife, wtf was he thinking marrying a woman in love with someone else, even if they are paralyzed. Oh and then he becomes friends with bob!!!? Tahahaahaha I love reddit.

[@mattdunkley130]

Holy shit the amount of people calling OPs wife garbage for wanting more for herself she didnt leave bob for OP. She knew she wanted kids and couldn't with Bob anymore. They divorced but she remained his good friend and care taker. She met OP later and was up front with him about Bob. Shes struggling because her friend is dying she knows she messed up and is trying.

[@isrln]

We found the OP by the looks of it

[@thousandyardgavri2785]

​​@@isrlnI honestly think none of them are a bad guy. Just a sucky situation that you're not in but you think you know what its like

[@isrln]

@@thousandyardgavri2785 you couldn't even shit out a half-nonsense half-insult without having to edit

[@Dayday-xj3hc]

One not even 3 minutes in but this wife is pissing me off. She wanted to be selfish with Bob, okay, well then be selfish but don’t involve innocent people! Wife wanted her cake and eat it too, this was the selfish part!

[@RapiersSting]

yes she DID abandon him.. VOWS mean something.. IE: IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH, also TIL DEATH DO YOU PART... she was/is selfish despite suffering from caretaker burnout.. she's selfish and being cruel to you. she needs to put YOUR FEELINGS FIRST in this case..