Wife Wants a Divorce? Is David Goggins WRONG?

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Hey guys hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts? Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited) Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! -> urlgeni.us/MCEP158DS Download the FREE GUIDE! -> relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions To see how all my clients have achieved massive success through dire & hopeless circumstances, click here! kzbin.info/aero/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU

[@lukeleonardrasmussen3550]

Here's the thing: I've done the Josh Hudson thing. I've done the Marriage Helper thing and neither of them had the deep information and stuff Geoffrey provides. Not even close. Trust Geoffrey, guys. He is not giving you bull shit.

[@ajmooremusic]

I'm in a position where people constantly tell me it's not worth it or to give up. That seems completely wrong to me. Society puts these thoughts in our minds through generational norms. There are many elements to my situation that do not need discussing here, but I know that for me there is a tremendous amount of good to come via the situation. I continue to learn, to better myself, but I also continue to make mistakes that will not resolve my situation. That comes through being emotional, childhood learnings, and still being tethered. I think most people find it odd that I take responsibility for things I haven't done. But my situation would not be what it is had I been happy in my self, doing what I love and being the best partner I could. My wife is an amazing person who deserves the best. I'm not yet my best so why should I expect her to want me. There are many faults on both sides but I'm the only person which can change me and stop those faults. I agree whole heartedly in your view from many videos I've watched 'it only takes one'. If that wasn't the case then why would anyone succeed in this world. When I've saved the money I'll be on the course.

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

This is the type of ownership, accountability, and introspection that strong men engage in. A man who can face his mistakes and work on them is a man that women can feel safe with over time :) They can see that this man has the perfect PROCESS (provided you are making the right types of changes according to the correct principles). Looking forward to seeing you joining the program!

[@MattShattuck]

This is exactly what I’m going through with the outside external resistance. I’ve been on this journey for 11 months and it appeared my wife was coming closer only to go into the “big dip.” Thanks to Geoff I understand the bigger picture and why this is occurring and I don’t have that urgency illusion but I trust the process. To achieve different results takes radically different mindsets than most people have.

[@ajmooremusic]

@@GeoffreySetiawanwe both have a great respect for each other, especially after 20 years together. But I have to take full ownership of my side. I know exactly where I've gone wrong, I know how my childhood has influenced many of my errors. But now I need to be the influencer in my own marriage. The five pillars you discuss are pivotal in that role. But I need to stop making silly errors that pull me back down. They are mistakes made through emotion. And while small, they seem large due to the negative bias we've both created towards each other. I think the comment in the video about using the pain as a way to thrive is where my journey is beginning. I need to take ownership of myself, create emotional safety and then move on up the ladder. But it's clear I need people around me to push me in the right direction. And if we are honest, even the brilliant friends I have, often aren't the people who can offer that. They are too invested in us to be able to give a true slap in the face. Your community seems like that place. I won't give up on who I love and what I love. The big question for me is, if I was meeting my wife for the first time, who would I want her to meet? Who do I want to be? Without accepting and taking accountability for our actions we will never get to that level. Of course, that accountability works for all involved, but as you mentioned 'what is the 100% I brought to the table that led to our position'. I'd say, lots.

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Right, it's not about the 99 things you do right when things are easy, it's about the ONE thing you do wrong when things are hard. That's when your partner will see the true value of your changes :) I prize my community where we are constantly pushing WORLD-CLASS standards to achieve WORLD-CLASS results that NO ONE else in the industry can produce. We are not afraid to tell people EXACTLY what they need to hear in order to grow FAST to become irreplaceable in their relationships.

[@ajmooremusic]

@@GeoffreySetiawanI've been making those 1% errors. I can feel the mindsets changing, but actually, talking to others is often the catalyst to those 1% errors. I feel I need to work on myself for myself and stay focused. Exclude those unneeded outside influences and focus only on that and those which will help me push myself to that highest level possible. Thanks for the videos

[@livewithinthedream]

This was a valuable take. I have also started asking myself "what am I doing wrong" rather than "Here is what I am doing right", and this simple swap allows for daily growth. For the gents here fresh and new, if you do follow these teachings she will eventually lay into you. Yelling, calling out your flaws, the phone calls will be about how you are "irresponsible" and not planning it out properly (etc). Yet, for some odd reason (at least in my situation), she helps in her own small ways by going out of her way to look into something or complimenting what is done well. Yes she still wants divorce, and this is okay, yet the process has allowed me to see the beauty in her emotions and in these though times rather than being so focused on what is ""bad". Fork 2 is something that will allow you to far surpass the you who took fork 1, and being able to one day genuinely tell her the deep relationship you want is then no longer just a pipe dream.

[@denva92]

3 years since I was here daily trying to save my relationship. Its nice coming back now, with a better, stronger relationship than ever, to continue to learn and interpret GS teachings into other walks of life. Great content, be proud of the impact you make on peoples lives Geoffrey.

[@lukeleonardrasmussen3550]

33:15. Boom. Mic drop. If theres one thing you take from this video, what Geoff says there is it

[@elisabompadre8]

I love this so much! Our hardest most painful moments are often our most defining moments!!

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Yes, indeed! It's the biggest opportunity to learn something MASSIVE in our lives. When these moments come, it's our time to SHINE! Really enjoyed our follow-up interview :)

[@vncntbrn]

That sames goes to you, brother. People often take what you said out of context. But without internal shifts, they could only conceptually undertood what it meant. Just imagine, pause for a moment, before you ask somebody what is their deal? Why they are leaving you? Ask your self first, what did I do to make them leave? We often ignore the reality because it conflicts with the fantasy that we have in ourselves that we are perfect, that we have done the right things. We will always be a student.

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Right, some people can weaponize whatever genuine principles they want to fit their agendas. All I am asking people to do is just to REFLECT on what their contribution to the problems is, and that's it! Yet, some people get so offended by this simple suggestion and they're surprised their partners don't feel safe with them? How can a woman feel safe telling a man her issues with him if that man doesn't even have the courage to look within and admit his flaws?

[@rnt80]

I haven’t given up but I’ve moved out and am helping her plan out the divorce. That feels like giving up but I’m doing my best to support her. I’m so lost.

[@livewithinthedream]

Watch the saboor interview, he went through the divorce and it wasn’t until a year and a half in that she started realizing his changes and two plus for him to be back home. But he had to go through the work and changes first. And she had to see it without him pointing them out.

[@Mhocco]

I know you prob heard this before. But my situation is so unique. It’s a mess and I don’t know how to help or how to act. Is there a Facebook group or page I can have access to?

[@cell5066]

Another great video Geoffery! I'm also navigating the YT videos and lessons, but I have a question. She seems more invested in her new relationship and not as much in ours. However, she still talks to me occasionally and shares her issues, like feeling stressed about not doing well in school. She also mentions that certain personality traits of hers, like her temper, feel like a burden and that anyone who can tolerate them makes her feel 'spoilt' Thanks to your teachings, including the concept of the Fundamental Attribution Error, I no longer see her temper as something negative or as an issue to fix with band-aid solutions like distractions or promises. Instead of asking, 'She always gets angry at small things?' I'm now considering, 'What external factors might be causing her to flare up her temper?' This shift helps me view these moments as opportunities to understand and connect with her more deeply by exploring why certain things affect her so profoundly instead of attributing them to her character. After all, who really enjoys or wants to be angry? I do realize that simply 'tolerating' someone's "flaws" like temper is a low-value skill. Instead of just putting up with her emotions, I want to actively engage with her feelings and help address the underlying issues. Tolerating implies unhappily enduring without understanding, but I believe that true connection comes from empathy and working through challenges together Since she's currently with someone else, how would you recommend I navigate this situation? How can I apply the frameworks you've discussed like building emotional safety, practising empathy, and avoiding the Fundamental Attribution Error while respecting her choice to be with the new person? I'm aiming to support her healthily without crossing any boundaries

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

These are the types of questions that I will address in my future Frameworks series. Stay tuned!

[@cell5066]

Looking forward to it Geoffery! It really is a godsend for those of us unable to join to program for whatever reason! ​@GeoffreySetiawan

[@drabdullah9192]

I havent met my wife before or after marriage, but only on nikah day, and after two months of relationship,on phone ,she wants to divorce ,and i beg her for two months more ,help me

[@divinelorraine]

Masterclass. Thank you.

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

What did you find most eye-opening from today's video? Let me know!

[@Vainnx]

Mr G I’ve been watching your videos for a couple of months now and they have truly been amazing. My wife has been talking to me more and even sent me old photos and videos of us tg. She must miss wht we had to even do tht. My question is how do ik tht she is starting to be more committed to our relationship.

[@ahmedshah5922]

Even if in the odd odd chance you have the most worst and character flawed partner imaginable you would STILL have played your part in the demise of the relationship somewhere because none of us are saints so if u choose to up and leave u would miss out on key growth and not to mention for me personally id rather go through the pain of putting in the work and being uncomfortable than be haunted by the question of what if I could’ve done more ? For the rest of my life . The pain of regret is always greater than the pain of discipline

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Exactly. And, by the point you feel that regret, it'll be too late, won't it? You won't learn anything if you walk away prematurely, you won't learn the lessons that could've dramatically upgraded your life in the long-term, you won't learn whether you could've saved your relationship. All you will gain is a short-term ego boost. So, who do you truly win by choosing fork #1?

[@indrautama3648]

If i were the guy who ask D Gogging, tbh what i need is to get a validation of my ego, not my humble act to look within. Im very sure that guy already knew what he wants to get the answer from D Goggin, and bingo.

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Right! Getting that ego stroked feels great in the short-term, but that guy basically learned NOTHING to guarantee success in the long-term. What if had looked within to see what his contribution to the breakdown of his marriage was? Could he have discovered how he could've saved his marriage instead? He may never know!

[@mason5211]

If my girlfriend wont even talk to me a month after breaking up because she needs time to forget about me how do I get her to talk to me at least over the phone without disrespecting her space.

[@elchulo956]

There are people going through what you’re going through in the program. They are having success. Best thing to keep in mind is that she is still watching.

[@mason5211]

@@elchulo956 thanks man. How do I know when the opportunity is right to reach out to her without her just being cold. It feels like I have limited opportunities and I don't want to waste them

[@elchulo956]

@@mason5211 what I can say is that if you haven’t changed and you reach out you may cause more problems. No contact can be seen as a blessing. This would be the best time to start on the changes. There are some people whose ex randomly reaches out after a few months to see how they are doing and if they did the changes they may notice but you can’t do the changes through KZbin videos. I tried and failed.

[@ahmedshah5922]

Providing value even on your honeymoon, talk about being dedicated to your craft

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Why stop doing what I love doing :)

[@johnanderson4127]

I've seen this too...algorithms

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

What did you find to be the most ground-breaking realization from today's video about that clip?

[@kingkunte3234]

Ok so my wife cheated at least 3 times and i should take her back?

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

If you want to pick fork #1, go pick fork #1!

[@kingkunte3234]

Dude i tried everything, coaching, giving her space, nc, building up my self etc. She seemed happy everything was fine and then suddenly cheated again. 3 kids and married for 16 years...

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

​@@kingkunte3234 Can you clarify what "tried everything" means specifically? Does it involve the 5 pillars we teach? Does it involve the internal shifts we teach? Does it involve the identity shifts we teach? kzbin.info/www/bejne/nV60fqGHd8ehopo Reason I ask is that we have enrolled almost 6,000 clients in the past 4-5 years, and all of them thought the same. Some even have spent over $100K and some are even therapists or "coaches" themselves who thought they have learned and done "everything"/ But as you can see from my client stories, they always realize that they simply don't know what they don't know, and "everything" does not always mean "nothing else". So if you are 100% sure you have tried everything, then go choose fork #1. If you have some doubt, open your mind to fork #2. If you want to choose fork #2, we would be honored to help. But like I said in the video, I'm not here to debate, I am here to teach for those who wants to learn :)

[@ArifShoeb]

Mr Goggins turned into Andrew Tate here for a moment.

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Based on the clip, taken out of context, that's what it seems like! Which is exactly why I wanted to help set the record straight.

[@ArifShoeb]

@@GeoffreySetiawan You are quite an influencer (in the literal sense) Tbh probably the only one on this platform who promotes 100% positivity. Idk if it was ever your intention but your videos have cultivated patience and humility in me. I have become an expert in conflict resolution in my daily life. I do not lose my head anymore. Just wanted to appreciate your positive effect in my life. Terima Kasih

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Appreciate the kind words, my guy :)

[@tweedledee-z5c]

Y’all are fools. There’s always two sides to every story. We’re only hearing his side. Smh

[@drabdullah9192]

I havent met my wife before or after marriage, but only on nikah day, and after two months of relationship,on phone ,she wants to divorce ,and i beg her for two months more ,help me