Will Reclassifying Weed Help Biden? | How Trump’s Lawyers Keep Him Awake

President Biden may be easing marijuana restrictions to boost his flagging support among young people, and Donald Trump can’t stay awake in court during his hush money trial.
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[@Tcat421]

They need to Pardon all weed related felonies so we can vote .

[@morbidmanmusic]

Who ya talking to?

[@TheEvolver311]

Biden has pardoned lots of weed related Federal charges Biden can't pardon State level offenders that is on the Governors of the State

[@katelynna10000]

I can say from personal experience that felons CAN in fact vote. However, there's paperwork you have to get signed that says you are off probation and have payed all your fines (which is a problem in and of itself, but this comment can only be so long). The idea that felons can't vote is purposefully spread to keep us from doing so. Look up what is needed to be able to register to vote in your area!

[@charlesmartin1121]

"If he wins." We lose.

[@JamesSullivan-fq9bw]

That's right. If Biden wins, we lose. To vote for Biden is to flush yourself down the toilet.

[@victorpradha9946]

The entire world loses...except for Russia and China!

[@erickworthington7211]

If he wins..there's no justice

[@baxtronx5972]

If he wins, it was stolen.

[@Omsip123]

If he wins, it’s the fault and responsibility of the democrats

[@Moonmaedyn]

Maybe they should try a SHOCK COLLAR to keep him awake? I'd pay money to watch that...

[@stevendurante3485]

But I wouldn't put it on his neck.

[@SugarandSarcasm]

Shh, that's for sweeps week. Or his lawyer's new defence fund

[@arithiel]

​@@stevendurante3485 anywhere else it'd slide right off...

[@kitcobain444]

Working in Corrections as an RN, reclassification of Marijuana is crucial for not ruining young adult's lives and keeping jails less crowded. You see 20 somethings getting arrested for possession of a single joint 😳 and it is craziness! Legalize the stuff everywhere already!! And no, I don't smoke. It's not for me. 🗳💙

[@alfalfas2849]

Wow bro u might be the one good cop

[@motherterezzza3466]

I got busted for stems and seeds in the late 70’s. That was on my record for YEARS. Still is. HR just laughs when I tell them when asked if I have a record. Sheesh.

[@phillip2169]

Stay safe

[@trekkiejunk]

But this could hurt all those poor private prisons' bottom line! You don't want to put those poor, family-owned private prisons out of business, do you?

[@kitcobain444]

@trekkiejunk That's the thing, I work at the federal and state government funded jail, not a prison. Yet there are inmates doing short time for bogus marijuana possession charges. We do have a work release program, but it's crowded as well. Not to mention a felony charge. I agree with your sentiment, though.

[@denniswinters3096]

If they are going to ease restrictions on weed, they need to review the ridiculously harsh sentences of people who are now in prison because of it.

[@rosee.2431]

Absolutely 💯

[@pamelahomeyer748]

Obama Started releasing people from prison with minor charges from things like marijuana and Mitch McConnell won't have it

[@gaypatterson4446]

Agreed.

[@korbindallas4552]

The Individual States set those laws. Like Arizona's life sentence for distribution of a drug. So selling a $25 sack is a lifetime sentence.

[@derithross8314]

Yes especially when pedophiles have a damn ass revolving door

[@joshuastanton6731]

The idea that cannabis is even close to steroids OR cocaine is ridiculous.

[@ElSantoLuchador]

It's absurd. I live in WA state so I just laugh at it from a distance.

[@EmiIsHerexo]

How is alcohol better than weed? 😂

[@divinewon73]

⁠ 🛑Merr Merr Gar Gar is a member of the Fed Errol ist Society which works with the Heritic found ation and provided the project 2025, 920 page document to obliterate the federal government... these are the same organizations that provided Roberts and the rest.☣️ connecting the dots?🤔

[@phylis3917]

Still stupid. Remember “Refer Madness”? Defendant has no right to say anything about anything. We’re in SF.💕

[@TheKillerman3333]

the reason it is classified as such was becuase a certain president wanted to target hippies and black people but knew it was illegal to do so dirrectly so that president targeted their recreational drugs instead.

[@Sharonmxg]

the channeling of Johnny Carson was a golden moment.

[@karenkieffer3684]

Sad thing is the younger viewers probably did not get it ... right over their heads!

[@trappedkitty5335]

@@karenkieffer3684 I'm nearly 52 and almost none of my same-aged friends would get that joke. On another note, Dick Van Dyke has a channel here on KZbin and he is pretty amazing and sharp enough to best two people who are running for President on a mental aptitude test.

[@danielgregory3295]

Yes!! I loved that immensely!😊❤

[@lynnhettrick7588]

Love the Carson references!

[@jonathanrivlin6248]

I could hear Ed laughing and Doc on the trumpet. Miss my grandparents.

[@ramonadviola1755]

That Johnny Carson bit was brilliant. 😂😂😂

[@bcollins9152]

yeah!

[@gus8824]

Reclassifying cannabis will make it way easier for medical institutions to study and research, potentially finding new uses or debunking false claims accurately, this is important

[@bovinityleak2066]

Yes!

[@jamesmorett6184]

The National Geographic magazine issued a front cover in April 2015 that clearly stated. " Cannibis may be the miracle cancer cure we have been looking for !! The front cover !! Israel has studied cannabis and have come up with some amazing results !! But it is suppressed because they charge outrageous money for chemo that is cheap to make and rarely works

[@Tustin2121]

It is important and should have been done ages ago, and it’s really stupid that it’s apparently *only* being done because everyone is pissed at the president for not cutting off weapons and funding being actively used for ethnic cleaning. 😩

[@paulwarner2432]

@@Tustin2121 He started the process to review rescheduling it back in 2022. So this has been ongoing. More information here: www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/statements-releases/2022/10/06/statement-from-president-biden-on-marijuana-reform/

[@ThatOpalGuy]

they kept it schedule 1 because of two things: pharmaceutical profits and religious ignorance.

[@zesty9815]

8:53 But that's the same thing he said last time: _"I only hire the best people"._ And then he fired them _"like dogs"_ and said they were _"dumb as rocks"._

[@_Lazare]

Yup ! And while the new hirere found himself he gets let go lol

[@ThatOpalGuy]

basic maga projection

[@andrewr7820]

We sometimes occupy dementia patients with "busy work" tasks like folding towels. Seems like the stack of papers is their version of that approach.

[@traceythompson1092]

I take care of a person with dementia; and she can spend hours reading the same 3 or 4 letters or rearranging the books she has stacked in her room😢

[@johntidey8734]

You hit the bullseye nurses not lawyers

[@shaerenuel9950]

But don't worry!, he's assured us he's aced his cognitive test...

[@canadianharuka]

If he passed away in his sleep at the trial, no one would even notice.

[@shepinchains1]

Let us Pray.

[@patriciatinkey2677]

Your Mouth to God's Ears. Probably his base would claim it was a hit...crazy conspiracy theories coming out of the woodwork! 😂🤣😅😁👍🇺🇲💙🇺🇲💙🇺🇲💙🇺🇲

[@katkelly-kobes3245]

Don't threaten me with a good time!

[@Dan-yz4qz]

He definitely wouldn't be missed

[@CharlesBridges-np4hv]

OR WOULD CARE 🤔

[@eternyti]

"Oh my god, did someone slaughter a goat in here?" That was Kristi Noem.

[@solenoidnull9542]

And some horses, and a puppy, and undoubtedly a bunch of other animals we don't know about as well

[@MonkeyJedi99]

@@solenoidnull9542 Plus, it doesn't count as abortion if you kill the baby after birth when it fails to take out the trash or mow the lawn like a kid is supposed to.

[@LindaC616]

She had a cameo 😅

[@davidlundquist1979]

Wait, the pit is an INDOOR gravel pit? This is new information!

[@DayTukErrJawbs]

A bunch of construction workers saw her do it. Then the school bus pulled in minutes later.

[@AndrewJohnson-oy8oj]

Jeez, America. Just legalize it. Every country that has done so has had zero negative effects and has helped create new businesses and income streams.

[@galaxyspace76]

Tax funds that are much needed too

[@Kossumies6]

Thailand did go back on their legalization but it is quite silly how harsh of a drug category it has. Harmless it isn't but worse drugs (alcohol and tobacco namely) are much more leniently approved.

[@juliettebobcat704]

Well in Amsterdam theyre a little tired of the obnoxious tourists, but now they'll get a lot fewer since Germany just decriminalization it with grow your own co-ops.

[@Demonlord4546]

True, but if they legalize it, the our For-Profit prisons will lose slaves that they use for labor. They gotta keep those prisoners coming in somehow. I hate that that is our reality. Our country needs a rework

[@juliettebobcat704]

@Demon Lord. They'll get those prisons full again. With women who have gotten abortions. They have a plan.

[@MrPhotodoc]

The "If He Wins" Time magazine will be right down there with OJ's "If I Did It" book.

[@sebman1982]

That Johnny Carson impression was gold!

[@melissaweyrick5311]

45 is aging like milk

[@DSAK55]

and smelling like it

[@DissectGibberish]

Curdled and stinking.

[@user-rn5wy6ox7j]

Farty-five

[@bovinityleak2066]

Yep…. bird flu infected raw cows milk (a real thing).

[@oceanoflotion8630]

That is offensive to cheese

[@lindasensabaugh4013]

As an old lady (72) I vote yes for legal weed. I grew up with pot but never used. It was in my late 50’s I was forced to try pot for pain after 8 spine surgeries. I do not smoke but am very happy for edibles. I make green butter then cook and bake with it. Here in Virginia we can grow plants but not buy pot. It’s still crazy that marijuana was ever put in a category like heroine. You can get anything you want in the mail.

[@Erlewyn]

As a general rule, saying "it should be legalized for recreation because it's useful medically" is never a good argument.

[@TrickOrRetreat]

The beer liqueur plastic etc producers have been lobbying against it for 50 years. It's on schedule 1 because bribery. Since hemp is better than plastic and even steel. They feared that legalizing hemp would shut em down.

[@bunyipdragon9499]

Green butter ? That's a new one, what's the ratio of green to butter ! 💜

[@TrickOrRetreat]

​@@Erlewynit opened up the door for a broader legalization. So the argument was useful.

[@colejosephalexanderkashay683]

​@Erlewyn it should be legalized and be over the counter like cold medicine or asprin.

[@areyoufriendly]

“If He Wins” Guys, there’s no convincing the other side, so just make sure you’re registered to vote and vote early. If you know someone who isn’t registered to vote, get on their ass. This is no-fvcking-around time.

[@dk9619]

🇺🇲💙🇺🇲

[@jeremycurtis2334]

One of the best monologues. Thanks Stephen and thank you writers! You deserve credit!

[@charlesmartin1121]

Let sleeping Don's lie, or he will awake and continue to lie.

[@aristede9954]

Keep it up don't want the lying Don I want an administration to continue its current foreign policy... I am all sure the Palestinians are rooting for Biden too!! 😂😂😂

[@missrose0077]

Donald isn't sleeping. He's closing his eyes and pretending he's invisible.

[@user-sv9nb8ky2t]

​@@aristede9954Darfur looking in, discovering other genocides are more popular.

[@RosieRoserules]

I bet he doesn't dream but if he did he even lies in his dreams

[@bigiron8831]

​@@aristede9954 LET'S GO DARWIN.....

[@markhettenbach3141]

If I stayed up till 4am rage tweeting, Id fall asleep at 8am too.

[@NexuJin]

Imagine rage tweeting at 4:55 AM asking why someone isn't sleeping

[@patriciatoomingtheplantpar2558]

Channeling Johnny Carson 😂 That toe tip took me way back, lived Johnny!

[@lbednaz]

I worked on a detox during college for people from Boston and Cambridge. NO ONE WAS THERE FOR MARIJUANA USE! Most were alcohol and then some prescription drugs with smallest group street drugs. ALCOHOL IS WAY MORE HARMFUL THAN POT!

[@toddshantz9003]

3:04 3:04

[@toddshantz9003]

😮

[@MsDebSteeves]

I love it when Stephen channels his inner Johnny Carson!!! #Yesssss

[@jasonleland6978]

Light butt play.

[@ivareskesner2019]

Only one way to find out. Legalise it and give it the same status as alcohol. That is more than fair, considering just how much more harmful alcohol is. I really fi d it the height of absurdity that a killer like alcohol is legal while a medicine like weed isn't.

[@Zaddy-Lu]

Yup! You can't overdose on weed, the comedown isn't dangerous, people don't get violent on it, and it effectively treats pain (instead of masking it like alcohol does) there is NO good reason for cannabis to be illegal.

[@ivareskesner2019]

@@Zaddy-Lu Hear hear.

[@wizardsuth]

@@Zaddy-Lu It's often smoked and causes impaired judgement and a lack of co-ordination, so it needs to be regulated similarly to both tobacco and alcohol.

[@dp1563]

Cigarettes are the worst drugs out there.

[@problematicgoose]

He loves his invisible props. Gotta take care of them and pass them off stage/put them away 😂 sooo many examples in this clip

[@alondamontgomery3026]

Johnny Carson impression was on point. Loved that.

[@samuelalonso22]

Please do not insult Carson . This fool wouldn't make a pimple on Johnny's ass

[@andyb1653]

"Oh man, did someone slaughter a goat in here?!" Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was Kristi Noem

[@walterfristoe4643]

I read that one of Trumpadumpagus's law firms doesn't want to represent him anymore. I guess they're afraid they'll go to prison instead of him.

[@Drew-bc7zj]

Or not get paid. Or have their reputation destroyed.

[@DissectGibberish]

@@Drew-bc7zj Or all three.

[@Mondfischli]

...worst case: together 😂

[@user-nf1op8ti9l]

​@@Mondfischli Standard outcome

[@ShineOnBenevolentSun]

They've been prepaid. But it's hard to be an effective lawyer when your client insists on representing themselves with you there just as a mouthpiece.

[@janncoons7445]

Biden is on a roll accomplishing one task after the other. Absolutely amazing I'm voting blue all the way down the ballot💙💙💙💙

[@jjfalarka8837]

really ? Accomplished leaving 17 million illegals in the country > Gas prices going up and electricity 30 percent during his term. Biden really ? No worries you will be paying dearly to maintain those illegals on section 8

[@bitbugsbyte]

Me too!! I reluctantly voted for Biden last time but I will wholeheartedly for him again in 2024! His work is beyond impressive.

[@SarcasticOldMan-cy9mf]

@@bitbugsbyte What will you do if they are both in jail? Biden may get his day in court with the ICJ for his war crimes and crimes against humanity. This would be soon, if there is any justice left in the world.

[@trappedkitty5335]

Beware a fast-moving government with no checks on their power.

[@kathleengust6878]

That person should not be on the cover of Time magazine. He should be doing time in jail.

[@bunzeebear2973]

Or maybe on vanity magazines where they do bathrooms & toilets. Outhouse Outlet Today?

[@MrTomHill]

That Trump man isn't right.

[@barbarasiders288]

He ain't right what mama said

[@divinewon73]

⁠​​⁠ 🛑Merr-Merr Gar-Gar is a member of the Fed Errol ist Society which works with the Heritic found ation and provided the project 2025, 920 page document to obliterate the federal government... these are the same organizations that provided Roberts and the rest.☣️ connecting the dots?🤔

[@divinewon73]

⁠​​⁠ 🛑Merr-Merr Gar-Gar is a member of the Fed Errol ist Society which works with the Heretic found ation and provided the project 2025, 920-page document to obliterate the federal government... these are the same organizations that provided Roberts and the rest.☣️ connecting the dots?🤔

[@divinewon73]

⁠​​⁠ 🛑Merr-Merr Gar-Gar is a member of the Fed Errol ist Society which works with the Heritic found ation and provided the project 2025, 920 page document to obliterate the federal government... these are the same organizations that provided Roberts and the rest.☣️ connecting the dots?🤔

[@divinewon73]

⁠​​⁠ 🛑Merr-Merr Gar-Gar is a member of the Fed Errol ist Society which works with the Heritic found ation and provided the project 2025, 920 page document to obliterate the federal government... these are the same organizations that provided Roberts and the rest.☣️ connecting the dots?🤔

[@muddgrub4402]

GREAT Johnny Carson!

[@pithicus52]

I wonder how many people recognized that he was doing Carson.

[@normmaes3218]

It worked here in Canada, the current Prime Minister campaigned to legalize weed, from coast to coast he swept into power with a great majority. As he walked up to the parliment on his first day he said Sunny days are ahead. If Biden campaigned on legalizing weed he would get greatest majority ever (I perdict) Trump wouldn't stand a chance. Even Republicans would vote for weed.

[@secheclare]

John Boehner is part of a cannabis company investment fund. I heard several speeches about legalizing cannabis. Have to say Boehner was not on my legalize weed bingo card😂

[@Alma1826]

Wow! Stephen Colbert made my day! He’s wonderful!!

[@tylerkochman1007]

When they talk about rescheduling marijuana, do they mean pushing 4:20 to a later hour?

[@nannigoat3]

🤣

[@elizabethcarrington5819]

Yep. He ain’t right in the head. lol.

[@superstrongr]

😂

[@BabbittdaWabbitt]

Har har har !

[@MausMasher54]

I'd fall asleep in court, if I sat on the Gold Crapper and Fire out Mean Tweets, all Night....

[@donaldwickman1754]

"Light butt play" 😂

[@amyreynolds3619]

Love the Johnny Carson impression Stephen Colbert!

[@teagueskye0959]

It may be most useful for our veterans!

[@NewMessage]

Sadly, there's a whole segment of the audience who has no clue who Johnny, Ed, and Doc even are.

[@cindymorose6673]

That’s what I was thinking. We’re old. 😂

[@NewMessage]

@@cindymorose6673 You are correct, Sir...

[@jasonleland6978]

@@NewMessage I laughed so hard. The way he did the little bounce on his toes when he hit the "butt". It was perfect. He's probably the last guy working late night who'll acknowledge the debt they all owe to Johnny. Kimmel is simply too focused on Letterman (which is fine because Dave was amazing) and Fallon and Meyers are too young.

[@NexuJin]

@@cindymorose6673 As an European watcher. I didn't get that joke either.

[@stevebistrup8258]

Carnac the Magnificent says you are correct.

[@ericwatts-et2nl]

The writers deserve a raise, you and they are killin' it. Also - give yourself a raise.

[@user-kl6ef1tn5g]

Under the TIME logo, it should have read “To Go To Jail!”

[@Tonyhouse1168]

There’s a zero % chance sleepy don stays awake long enough to hear his son’s name called at graduation.

[@Sharsis88]

Like he's going to actually go to the graduation lol

[@ivareskesner2019]

Don Joe? Biden is the sleepy one, no?

[@NZKaupoi]

​@@Sharsis88 I'll have a dollar on that outcome 😂

[@ElSantoLuchador]

Judge called his bluff. He had no intention of going, but now he has to. Poor Melania.

[@alysiareid6659]

​@@ivareskesner2019little slow there aren't you? Typical trumpanzee always projecting

[@warryck5909]

I was literally sparking up a bowl as Stephen asked 'Who likes weed?'.

[@ja-mez5102]

lol can't sleep either?

[@whyamihereweirdo9912]

I just put my pipe down from smoking a bowl 🤣😂🤣

[@zerimar584]

same here, could not "not" do it

[@tweex1]

All of your dudes' parents are being phoned.

[@MK-su6eg]

Weed and Late night , is automatic! Aloha from Hawaii! Yes I'm stoned!

[@TheMrAshley2010]

I instantly thought of Carson when the 'butt play' joke bombed. And then, a couple of jokes later, Stephen DELIVERED a Carson imitation!!!

[@LeeMaiden]

As a Schedule 3 drug, doctors will be able to prescribe it, and insurance companies will have to pay for it.

[@drtaverner]

We've had legal Cannabis for a number of years now. It's weird that the US is still lagging behind.

[@Susweca5569]

I live in Washington State where it's recreational legal. As long as you're twenty one, you can buy anything you want, as much as you want, whenever you want. One local rural store near me even has a delivery service so you don't have to break the law by driving under the influence. They'll bring your order right to your door.

[@Pryexel]

The US is behind on a lot of things.

[@bovinityleak2066]

No it is not. Backwards country.

[@helenwheels3341]

We lag on everything

[@NigelMacDonald-mt9wn]

@@Susweca5569 That's cool. Crazy every state isn't like that.

[@TheloniousCube]

We need more Carson impressions!!

[@Nebris]

You saw that too. lol

[@rybear5035]

Yeah! I saw that...i was looking for the Carson comment! Ty

[@davidlundquist1979]

Yessir!

[@BabbittdaWabbitt]

Too funny, we’re showing our age.

[@MichaelOConnell-iw4bn]

You are correct, sir!

[@cjdingojames3715]

the homage to Carson & Ed hilarious ●

[@grnddesign]

Your writers are amazing & your delivery fantastic!! Thank you Stephen for all your great work

[@jamesswanson4391]

The Johnny Carson was beautiful

[@joefunsmith]

10% of audience: Good one. 20% of audience: Johnny who?70% of audience: You mean Johnny Cochrane?

[@TheGreatAtario]

Weird, wild stuff. Did not know that.

[@Susweca5569]

​@@joefunsmith Who's Johnny Cochrane? 🤣

[@c.m.169]

Yes, they want pregnant women to wear an ankle monitor so they know where they are at all times.

[@TheJeweledBird]

Just pregnant ones? I can see them putting monitors on all women of childbearing age.

[@TheGreatAtario]

Blessed be the fruit, under his eye.

[@juannagrant-salmon7764]

Ever read Vox by Christina Dalcher?

[@dr.g3860]

Soon technology will allow those ankle bracelets to monitor women's menstrual cycles.

[@cil20002000]

Pregnancy has nothing to do with this video….move along

[@kelkabot]

I remember when older folks used to laugh about comedians I didn’t know anything about when I was a kid, like Jack Benny or Milton Berle. Now when I talk about Johnny Carson, it’s my turn to get the blank looks from youngsters. So I’m grateful to Colbert for that tip of the hat to Carson!

[@warriorwarrior4958]

Why hasn't anyone started calling him Dozing Don.😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

[@richiejohnson]

I love the way Steven always puts his pantomime pen and phone away after using it. I also love it when he slips into Johnny Carson mode!

[@MrAlexandermartis]

Yeah, and Trump is breaking the gas ceiling.

[@jeremiahjohnson7515]

bot... no reasoning. dont fall for it...

[@devak45167]

😂 zing!

[@brebeaa]

Got ‘em! 😂

[@jeffreyenglish1815]

Speed causes incontinence and flatulence. Trump is a speed freak that wants to criminalize marijuana and execute drug dealers. Another Trump conundrum.

[@Bugdriver49]

@@jeremiahjohnson7515 Great pun!!!

[@nanishkamassa4803]

😂😂😂 I peed my 👖 “We know you are tight with bad and stupid, they are your sons” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@molittr]

Thank you for the Johnny call back!

[@WillLanigan]

Love the Johnny Carson impression at 8:30 🫡

[@hariseldon2450]

I'm waiting for Stormy to testify. This is going to be an epic fight. Sleepy Mushroom man vs Stormy Daniels.

[@NexuJin]

flaccid fight

[@biffy7]

Yay for the reference to: Johnny Carson, Ed McMahon,and Doc Severinsen

[@psycophonic]

I'm thinking the "rug shampoo" would come in handy....😂

[@distressor6770]

They also need to revisit the sentences of all the people put in prison for ridiculous amounts of time for possession of cannabis

[@neilsolo]

Fantastic Carson Impression!!

[@anthoneylivingston8325]

You killed it stephen

[@dk9619]

Loved the Johnny Carson moment!

[@gamepapa1211]

"Nuggets on a string" is FAR more tame than the actual solution. The lawyers showed Trump videos of himself making speeches on rallies. To recap: Trump only stayed awake to watch videos OF HIMSELF! THAT IS MENTAL PATIENT BEHAVIOR!!

[@eternyti]

That, my friend, is grade-A Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

[@TrickOrRetreat]

Indeed 🤢

[@paulj8539]

Cattle prod, given to the jury foreperson... it's the humane way.

[@Michele_PoeTreeWitch]

Nuggets on a string sounds like a song

[@joshh535]

Arguably, “typing in all caps because something you saw on the internet sent you into a rage” is also “mental patient behavior”…

[@IrvinCascade]

Stephen is WAY too excited about "light butt play." And I LOVE it

[@4brigger]

I say to myself: "Now Steve, you missed an opportunity for 'WHALE!'"

[@smoothrocky1847]

He subverted the expectation

[@margo3367]

I used to say, the media reports on every time Trump farts. Never thought I’d be literally correct.

[@t.tenney3470]

Well ......... He's not farting.

[@jpdemer5]

@@t.tenney3470 And you know this... how?

[@carochio8639]

@@t.tenney3470 is it Diarrhea?

[@DonariaRegia]

Since television is paid for by advertisers, and we fund those companies, why don't we eliminate the middleman and directly fund television through donations demanding one a day a week free from Trump. Just have every channel stifle for one lousy day. It would be twenty-four ours of bliss to the eyes and ears.

[@jpdemer5]

@@t.tenney3470 And you know this . . . how?

[@ejyounggun08]

Hey now! Weed isn't #1 on my schedule. I wake up, take care of my dogs THEN I smoke a blunt. It's #2. 😊

[@HowardDaniels-uw8tj]

Modified wake and bake

[@NigelMacDonald-mt9wn]

I can tell just from your comment that you would be a better President than Joe or Don.

[@bunzeebear2973]

A brownie would have to be classed as a #2

[@margaretweber50]

Jimmy Kimmel says "court is closed on Wednesdays to air it out". 😉

[@lindaboutilier238]

As a Canadian, I think it's about time

[@Mplsgurl]

When do we start panicking people??? He’s insane! 💙

[@annemettefrederiksen7751]

Oh ,dont worry, I panicked before 2016 's election and im not even american...And im on going for round 2 , ready ro drink with Stephen again to maintain a slimmer of sanity

[@tammyjantzen9004]

Some of us have been trying to panic people since Trump ran the first time.

[@Aura-Of-Syrinx]

It should have been DEclassified .-.

[@cyberGEK]

8:34 Here’s Johnny!!! 😂😂🔥🔥🔥

[@calumproctor981]

I've now got 'Nuggets on a String' playing in Jim Morrison's voice to the tune of 'Riders on the Storm'.

[@roserose8283]

Perfect Johnny Carson! Fantastic!! 🏆

[@MorganFleurDeLys]

Great fun watching you do Johnny Carson impersonations!

[@catherinerheaume8522]

It’s amazing that the whole world is seeing DT’s mental and physical (non) performance in real time daily. Still keeping a straight face about him as THE candidate.

[@neilsoulman]

"Evil Knievel was evil but not bad" LOL

[@CrapKerouac]

Pretty good Johnny Carson impersonation. I didn't know Stephen did one.

[@taylorrice8612]

I missed the Johnny Carson impersonation 😊

[@BigLar56321]

What can’t Stephen do? He’s got real acting chops.

[@ZaraAxelrod]

Carson impression was great

[@brianwilner5546]

Stephen .. you are phenomenal and only keep getting better!

[@Hattrick00]

Oh love the Carson bit!

[@lifewithmeggs]

Mr Colbert, you killed me with this monologue! My ribs hurt 😂😂😂😂😂

[@threefeetofair758]

Missed a cofveve joke on word search.

[@lisab9541]

This was one of the funniest monologues I've ever seen on any late night shows. 😂

[@JonnoPlays]

Dank Biden strikes again

[@Mojothreepwood]

Louis Cato and the LS band are getting superb with the audio cues of Stephens mimes lol

[@StudioLB]

Colbert is a legend

[@singhjobim9719]

Great monologue-kudos to the writers!

[@papatroll9545]

Haven't laughed this hard in years. Absolutely killed it. Masterful improv!

[@A.Radwick]

Correction: Medicinal meth comes in a variety of forms, the most popular being named "adderall". It is actually not incredibly difficult to find. Legalize. Rescheduling is a step, but not a leap. Legalize cannabis.

[@jssamp4442]

You are confusing amphetamine/dextroamphetamine with methamphetamine. They all belong to a class of organic compounds called substituted phenethylamines, with effects that vary depending on the location and species of the substituent.

[@mickimicki]

There used to be "medical meth". It was called Pervitin, and was used for example by the German army in WWII. Related to, but *not* the same drug as dexamphetamine (Adderall, Vyvance).

[@pallascat1743]

Vyvanse is methamphetamine.

[@A.Radwick]

@@jssamp4442 close enough, in my opinion. Cannabis is a lot less complicated and therefore would logically be less regulated. You would agree, correct?

[@KS-PNW]

​@@pallascat1743 Technically it's dextro methamphetamine slightly different but there is just straight up prescription meth

[@trevorxlindeman1798]

Trump’s lawyers should talk to the folks who served Trump in the White House to see what they did to keep him awake. I have heard that he had a regimen of uppers prescribed to him by the pillman Ronnie Jackson.

[@RasAlHaq]

Briefings had to mention his name frequently, include plenty of pictures, and be very brief.

[@Mortthemoose]

​@@RasAlHaq yep.... I've not read much about it, but what I HAVE read WAS shocking! Like trying to keep the attention of a 3 year old!!

[@courtneyswazey7013]

Long live the memory of Johnny Carson. Late night GOAT!

[@Nickakanugboy]

4:20 nice, the pp drawing is amazing. First the head and shaft. Then the nutz then the spooge then the hairs. Great pantomime steve.

[@vsznry]

😂🇺🇸 Probably one of the best monologues of all time 🇺🇸