Michael Cohen’s Mean Nickname For Trump | Noem Defends Killing Her Puppy | Boeing Sends A Message

While Donald Trump snoozes in court, his former lawyer Michael Cohen is mocking him on TikTok. Elsewhere, Governor Kristi Noem tried to explain away her puppy murder story, and another Boeing aircraft lost a crucial part mid-flight.
#Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
Subscribe To "The Late Show" Channel: bit.ly/ColbertKZbin
Watch full episodes of "The Late Show": bit.ly/1Puei40
Listen to "The Late Show Pod Show" podcast: link.chtbl.com/Awagtx95?sid=yt
Like "The Late Show" on Facebook: on. 1df139Y
Follow "The Late Show" on X: bit.ly/1dMzZzG
Follow "The Late Show" on Instagram: bit.ly/29wfREj
Watch The Late Show with Stephen Colbert weeknights at 11:35 PM ET/10:35 PM CT. Only on CBS.
---
Stephen Colbert brings his signature satire and comedy to THE LATE SHOW with STEPHEN COLBERT, the #1 show in late night, where he talks with an eclectic mix of guests about what is new and relevant in the worlds of politics, entertainment, business, music, technology and more. Featuring bandleader Louis Cato and “THE LATE SHOW band,” the Peabody Award-winning and Emmy Award-nominated show is broadcast from the historic Ed Sullivan Theater. Stephen Colbert took over as host, executive producer and writer of THE LATE SHOW on Sept. 8, 2015.

[@brianfong5711]

The irony of Trump calling him "Sleepy Joe"

[@mattlewis383]

The irony that comes from him daily.. He plays the 'That's what you are, but what am I?' childish games and it gladly comes to bite him in the ass now and then. I wish it happened more. He's a buffoon of a character.

[@dthomas9230]

I was asked to be respectful because I posted the truth.

[@yugandali]

Maybe his team is doping him to keep him in order.

[@FurtiveSkeptical]

Every accusation is a confession.

[@andreah6379]

Not ironic. Hypocritical. The way only Rethuglicons do it.

[@traildoggy]

"Donald Shitzenpants?" "Well, it Depends..."

[@susanfanning9480]

I see what you did there😂. That's good.

[@CL-lo4wd]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@laperryrn]

😂

[@marcusott2973]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@brucebaker810]

I luv that joke. Hugs to OP.

[@MasterSkyrim1000]

For my family, dogs are basically just other members of the family. To imagine myself *killing* one of them for any reason...what kind of psychopath is this woman?

[@raphaellavictoria01]

Oh just a regular type. Zero empathy, completely doesn't understand what the fuss is even about. Btw, I personally have no idea what difference it makes whether it was a helpless puppy, or a helpless "working dog". TF it matters?

[@MasterSkyrim1000]

@@raphaellavictoria01 It's heinous either way, that's for sure.

[@TheCNYMike]

Trump's future VP, of course.

[@blue8493]

AND she want's to kill Biden's dog too! C-R-A-Z-Y!

[@anjaxtv]

My brother and I ran to get our dogs when our house was on fire. You are a 1000% right, our pets are our FAMILY!!

[@MartaWomack]

As a former Animal Control cruelty officer, I am furious with Noem for her choice to kill a perfectly trainable dog. I know there are people out there who would've been VERY happy to take her puppy home with them rather to see it killed. Her own lack of patience in training is utterly appalling.

[@mojo500100]

Well said. I’m all for publicly ridiculing heinous politicians, but when the nightly monologues veer into the Noem jokes, I need to turn the sound off. She’s hideous, not funny.

[@raygunsforronnie847]

I suspect Noem herself is untrainable and takes it out on animals, children, and the less fortunate. Oh, wait, that's redundant; she's a rethuglican.

[@sarahsnowe]

@@mojo500100 Yes. Why do Americans vote for such a creature? Why do they vote for Trump? Are they just as mentally defective and just as immoral? Hard to see any other reason.

[@Nocturnalux]

The woman is psychotic.

[@evangeloevoxi]

I've been training dogs since I was 8 YEARS OLD. If an 8 year old girl can turn an aggressive pitbull who had previously been abused by other children, into a loving dog who gives kisses to the girl who trained her, then that tells you how much of a failure Noem truly is.

[@blueprairiedog]

There's a reason Noem is barred from S. Dakota Indian lands.

[@y_fam_goeglyd]

They're classy people. Cultured. And this is no joke or hyperbole.

[@CitizenAyellowblue]

Actually there are dozens of reasons!

[@sheilaboston7051]

@@CitizenAyellowblue And there are five more now.

[@annjohnson8437]

For sure!

[@rochellestarr9538]

YES,WE DONT LIKE RACISTS!!!!!!!!!!

[@marih3286]

I had a pointer. They are considered puppies until the age of 2. As the old saying goes, "When someone tells you who they are, believe them".

[@dthomas9230]

She killed 107 Covid patients for every 100,000. Vermont lost 10. Red states used Covid to reduce entitlement outlays, aka FICA recipients since 80% of the 1st wave's deaths were 65 and over.www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7980794/

[@brianmeadows1137]

You got that right.

[@interruptingPreempt]

I agree. She's already shown us who she is. That poor dog. Also the saying's pretty new; it's from Maya Angelou.

[@nelliekenny9630]

No bad dogs , just bad owners. She should be barred from owning any more animals.

[@ronaldbarker5407]

And being elected Do better republicans stop voting in garbage

[@kristihex8961]

On behalf of all Kristi's everywhere... We do not support or accept Kristi Noem. Nor any party that would have her as a member. Regards Kristi

[@SleepyArcticBirds-ft4lb]

Gov. Noem is mentally disturbed and troubled 🧐

[@sharonwalberg5438]

Govenor Noem has Trumpitis! No cure for stupid! She needs to go to jail on animal cruelty charges!

[@camjustdoit.7879]

That's why she supports Trump!!

[@SleepyArcticBirds-ft4lb]

@@camjustdoit.7879 I completely agree with you‼️‼️🤣

[@TXnine7nine]

Sorry Kristi but 14 months is still a puppy. And it’s not a “working dog” until it’s actually working. Rather than give it up, you shot it for being a dog you couldn’t bother to train correctly. Stop trying to defend the indefensible.

[@sassafrasdinglemeyer4513]

She is a horrible excuse for a human being, just like tRump who she is trying to impress.

[@philgagnon275]

Please tell me she doesn't have a 14 month old child... Remember... She's a Republican... After it's born it's fair game

[@drewlovelyhell4892]

For a medium sized breed like Cricket, 14 months is borderline. Small breeds are considered adults by around 10 months, and large breeds are considered to be puppies for 2 years of age or even older.

[@dianevanweelie5233]

​@@drewlovelyhell4892 Large breeds have shorter life than small breeds. So why would they be puppies longer? Anyway, even if the dog was an adult, no reason to kill it just because it's not bird dog material. More dogs fail police, drug, assistant dog training than pass. These dogs are not all shot to death just because they failed, they are found new homes. Smh

[@JIM-ot4ws]

She should be investigated for animal cruelty and fined.

[@imayb1]

Noem defended killing a puppy because it was a working dog. I wonder if she considers workers disposable in general? In her state, fourteen year olds can be workers.

[@DissectGibberish]

Again, she is trying to fool you. A 14-month-old dog is still a puppy! A teenager puppy, but not an adult by any stretch of the imagination.

[@PleaseDontEatTheAnimals]

I don't support Kristi Noem in any way. She is cruel. That said, most people support shooting innocent animals in the head--they just do it vicariously and pay slaughterhouse workers to use the captive bolt gun. We humans don't need to eat other animals (in fact, vegans live on average 6♀️ to 10♂️years longer than carnists). And innocent animals do NOT deserve to be incarcerated, tortured, branded, castrated, and have their teeth and other body parts cut off (all without anesthesia), then killed at a fraction of their normal lifespans--many dismembered while still fully conscious--just for the pleasure of human taste buds. 😢 You can get out of an abusive relationship today by going vegan.✌🏽❤️🐕🐖🐈🐄🐣 To quote Alice Walker: "The animals of the world exist for their own reasons. They were not made for humans any more than Black people were made for Whites or women for men."

[@t.tenney3470]

Yes. Workers are disposable to a Narcissist. Only laws save them from these MAGA creatures.

[@Monika-mh2je]

But she is wearing a perfect make up and hair. 😂😂😂

[@cmdraftbrn]

of course she does. her party believes in child labor. is in every child should be press ganged into working the most dangerous jobs. not sitting on their asses in classes.

[@deniseboldea1624]

There is no defense for killing that puppy. It was not sick or suffering which is the only reason most sane people would make that decision. If she didn't want the dog, she could have either rehomed the dog or at least surrendered it to a shelter. What she did was nothing short of psycho.

[@lesliepiper3115]

I opine she printed her shameful story because Trupshit hates dogs. She did it to lock up vp nomination.Simple as her arrogant, cruel ideal. Hell ain't half full yet...

[@user-ce7rn4pn3b]

Charge her for cruelty to animals... 😮

[@richardderatte6672]

Noem seems completely unaware that 1. a dog under 2 years old is not considered an adult dog and 2. When other people have working dogs who aren't trainable, they just give them to a shelter or adopt them out. She had access to the internet, she could have tried so many options before execution. The fact she did something like that in such a rash way, and her conclusion was "You know what, I should kill another animal." tells you she needs serious help.

[@lyrachle]

A pure bred pointer is costly. Furthermore, all breeds have volunteer activity to rehome one of theirs that isn't a match for the person who has the dog. There is more than cruelty here. Look at how this woman treats her money.

[@asmith8692]

Watched a KZbin video by a man who grew up training hunting dogs and he noted that the "trainers" like Noem were generally regarded as assholes. If a style of training didn't work for one of his family's dogs they would trade them to another trainer and would keep doing so until the dog was trained, or deemed not a hunter and was relegated to pet.

[@PleaseDontEatTheAnimals]

Unfortunately, most people don't have empathy for nonhuman animals. I don't support Kristi Noem in any way. She is cruel. That said, most people support shooting innocent animals in the head--they just do it vicariously and pay slaughterhouse workers to use the captive bolt gun. We humans don't need to eat other animals (in fact, vegans live on average 6♀️ to 10♂️years longer than carnists). And innocent animals do NOT deserve to be incarcerated, tortured, branded, castrated, and have their teeth and other body parts cut off (all without anesthesia), then killed at a fraction of their normal lifespans--many dismembered while still fully conscious--just for the pleasure of human taste buds. 😢 You can get out of an abusive relationship today by going vegan.✌🏽❤️🐕🐖🐈🐄🐣 To quote Alice Walker: "The animals of the world exist for their own reasons. They were not made for humans any more than Black people were made for Whites or women for men."

[@clarencegreen3071]

Once had a neighbor, a Minister of the Gospel, who badly was mistreating a young dog. When I confronted him, his explanation was "It's just a hunting dog." Yes, stupid! Later, the minister was removed from his church for cheating on his wife with a member of the congregation. I was not surprised to hear it. He was/is a POS.

[@WyvernYT]

And the problem wasn't that it was a bad dog, the problem was that it was an excitable friendly puppy. There are many homes that would love to take in excitable friendly puppies.

[@keithbraham6438]

Simply put, She killed a bird dog puppy for being a puppy acting like a bird dog and killed a goat for smelling like a goat

[@JudeNance]

GRRRRR.SHE IS A PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A human 🙄

[@Avarren]

Perfect level of psychopathy for MAGA!

[@JohnWerner-te5zy]

So, it's about time Noem was removed for acting like a politician.

[@keithbraham6438]

@@Avarren Spot on

[@thomasw.5344]

plus 3 horses for being too old at 25. She didn't make tough decisions. She simply shoots every being as soon as it seems to cost her more effort than pulling the trigger

[@Sandy-du4ev]

Puppy killing is DISPICABLE!

[@Gladedancer]

Noem is a psychopath. That harridan killed an innocent puppy, a playful and loving creature that completely trusted her 😭 Animal cruelty charges should be pressed!

[@mwater_moon2865]

Fun fact... her office tried to point to the law that says that dogs that kill livestock should be put down. But that law very SPECIFICALLY doesn't mention poultry. So when that was pointed out, they referred to another law that says it's only LEGAL to kill dogs that are killing poultry, IF THEY AREN'T ON THE OWNER'S PROPERTY. So since she killed the dog on her own farm, according to the laws they quoted to say it was okay, she's guilty of a Class 2 misdemeanor.

[@rogerbarnes9641]

I believe in karma , imagine being attacked by a pack of rabid dogs 😂.

[@juliancrooks3031]

Noem shot her dog, her goat, three horses and police are wondering where she was when two Boeing whistle blowers turned up dead?

[@user-kz9ni8bo2i]

🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

[@flackstar007]

Most people would be arrested for having shot their dog without any valid reason, but in america people can write books about it and be ok.

[@baht.simpson]

Underrated comment

[@dthomas9230]

Chicago's lawyers allow companies to kill their customers as it keeps their potential client pool full! United Airlines tried to kill me as a flight attendant 3 times, but I survived, albeit maimed for life and fired for being too disabled to work. Chicago lawyers supported my company instead of preventing TBIs, cervical spondylosis trauma, pneumothoraxes, and death at 36,000 ft. Boeing moved to ORD to cover their algorithms of sycophantic synopsis, aka A.S.S.es, since ORD attornies have no testicles. A.S.S.es have holes for a reason.

[@daniellamcgee4251]

Noem also just shot herself in the foot.

[@sirvile]

"I've trained dogs for years..." Then why wasn't THAT one trained right? Because she's lying.

[@kamalohim]

because she's a psychopath...

[@corbeau-_-]

I suppose her idea of training is a bit off, not so much a lie. She probably believes very firm in her own capabilities, without any doubt whatsoever.

[@alangrosenheider9654]

​@@corbeau-_- true and even sadder...she shares that with other narcissistic sociopaths...they believe that "they can do no wrong"...

[@kennyroman9589]

what donald Trump asked china not to stop building! Detention Camps, Why? Because it's Auschwitz all over again for the american people, and others! Wake up!!

[@kamalohim]

@@corbeau-_- Any fool can have confidence in themself.

[@user-hr4rv8rf1w]

Isn’t America big enough to stand up to this liar ?

[@dr.g3860]

The jury's still out on that.

[@floief]

When I heard about Noem's solution to her problem it broke my heart. As a "dog trainer" she had to have known, that for a lot of dogs, the lightbulb doesn't switch on until they're around 5. For those folks who must be around Kristi Noem....my condolences.....oh, and DUCK!

[@Opus313]

Donnie wants to monitor pregnancies... there honestly isn't any reason for women to vote for him... Vote Blue 💙 for your rights!

[@phylis3917]

Sounds like a lunatic. He lost bring Pres with that nonsense.

[@Krackonis]

So the fact he is waging a coup against America to bring it low and make it "Trumpland" or whatever they decide to call it after it's a dictatorship is not reason enough?

[@magpieradio117]

A vote for Biden is a vote for endless war, massive crime from illegals and massive inflation. Think with your brain, not with desire to murder babies.

[@courtneybrubaker9738]

God no. Making women’s bodies property of the states? No way

[@MrPhotodoc]

I think I know what "monitor" here means. And it's not good people. It's not good.

[@baknights14]

Idk why trump is so afraid of being in an orange jumpsuit, just look at his skin he's already in an orange jumpsuit.

[@JLee-rt6ve]

I see a problem here. The guards will think he's escaped all the time because he'll blend in with the jumpsuit. Maybe a clown suit would be better?

[@baknights14]

@@JLee-rt6ve I feel terrible for those guards. It's no win for them, best case scenario they thought he escaped worst case they think he's not wearing clothes 🤢🤮

[@goldmandrummer]

He's upset about the jumpsuit because he won't have his orange makeup in jail and the orange clothes would emphasize the natural skin tone he's so insecure about

[@Giambijuice]

​@@JLee-rt6veAll he would have to do is stand in front of a Fanta ad and, like a chameleon, gone 😆

[@geoffreyhhill]

The emperor has no clothes!

[@DonnaSchebel]

Thank goodness for Stephen Colbert. We all need a good laugh after dealing with Trump.

[@susangreene6449]

Thank you for the BRILLIANT comic relief Stephen Colbert !! VOTE BLUE VOTE BLUE VOTE BLUE

[@scottmwilhelms2437]

She "trained dogs for years"... apparently badly.

[@alex35agm]

But that was just her boyfriends.

[@jandrews6254]

Trained? Using what, shock collars?

[@JP-lu9ed]

Just means she brutalized them and considered it “training”.

[@colorbugoriginals4457]

"it was not a puppy, it was a working dog" 😳 my service dog side-eyeing that like wtf

[@rudythecat7320]

Let's not forget that in Great Britain "trump" is the slang word for "fart." Perfect! 😂

[@georgeb.wolffsohn30]

Although Biden had some issues with falling, at least he RODE the bicycle . Can anyone imagine Trump riding a bicycle ?

[@bertmortier7678]

I've tipped over a few times for not managing to clip out of my pedals correctly. Hasn't happened for a long time, but it can happen, especially when having an issue with your cleats.

[@user-vd2vm8wm9f]

Ditto, he would have to hire someone to run along side to balance unless he uses "training wheels"!! Ha Ha Ha!!

[@CharlesBridges-np4hv]

​@@user-vd2vm8wm9fwas thinking the same shit

[@JLee-rt6ve]

Noem: "I've trained dogs for years." (That's why the gravel pit is so full.)

[@pacmonster066]

Of gravel? Oh no....

[@flackstar007]

Last time I checked a person sleeping in a criminal trial is held in contempt and would be forced to either be awake or be charged with holding the court in contempt (which is very much what trump is currently doing).

[@y_fam_goeglyd]

The judge might be glad he's not spouting his mouth off!

[@fee6362]

To be fair, the judge knows he is old and that he probably has dementia. I guess it's a good idea to let the jury judge about this one

[@t.tenney3470]

Make Trump stand in court, to stay awake?

[@marceld6061]

This could be the contempt that lands him in overnight detention. Without his phone to use to post all his early morning ramblings, maybe he'll get enough sleep to stay awake in court?

[@nowhereman8374]

Thx Stephen, you definitely brightened up my morning. My dog loves to be off leash, and in the process, she has reminded me what it is to be young and free. Sometimes she doesn't listen, and I have to work hard to settle her down. I blame myself not the dog.

[@B1ibrab3aUty]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I can't stop screaming and laughing. Stephen you have to be stopped sir. You are out of control lol. This whole monologue was hilarious. GO STEPHEN!! 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🔥🔥🔥

[@Tadicuslegion78]

"I spent years in Law School, paid thousands of dollars....to hear VonShitzinpants as an offical term"

[@magpieradio117]

The Democrats are truly corrupt. Donna Brazile or whatever her name is, resigned in disgrace for rigging the Democrat convention, yet all your liberals trust them to tell you that the election was not rigged and that Biden was the best person for the job. Utter disgrace how far US has fallen at the hands of Democratic leaders.

[@dthomas9230]

Chicago's lawyers allow companies to kill their customers as it keeps their potential client pool full! United Airlines tried to kill me as a flight attendant 3 times, but I survived, albeit maimed for life and fired for being too disabled to work. Chicago lawyers supported my company instead of preventing TBIs, cervical spondylosis trauma, pneumothoraxes, and death at 36,000 ft. Boeing moved to ORD to cover their algorithms of sycophantic synopsis, aka A.S.S.es, since ORD attornies have no testicles. A.S.S.es have holes for a reason.

[@Barklikeadog61]

“I love the uneducated” DT. It’s true…the only person he loves is himself.

[@OscarLangleySoryu]

“I’ve been around hundreds of [dogs]” yeah? About 101???

[@lilianevanbel3123]

Cruella Noem, indeed!

[@janncoons7445]

Please dear God don't let us see Von schitzenpants in a bathing suit!!!!

[@broddr]

Seeing Dumpty’s ass in tennis shorts a few years ago was disturbing enough!

[@zoerobinson1487]

I'd rather see Biden than that! 😂

[@andreah6379]

A Speedo. 🤮🤣🤣🤣

[@Will-nb1tc]

He'll be wearing a packed Pamper ! Baby Huey size XXXL.

[@ktm4042]

Too many people surprised by Noem. Y'all forget the gem of a slogan her admin came up with a few years ago regarding the states war on drugs: "Meth- We're on It!"

[@hansmeier-72]

lol

[@MrPhotodoc]

She has no idea what she's doing.

[@lorrie2878]

I didn't know that! Perfect factoid.

[@zizinnnn]

oh yeah! i remember that from oliver 😂 she’s a nut

[@brandiebishop8473]

Wow. You honestly can’t make this stuff up

[@matthewmerchant2038]

"Unlike Noem, I don't like beating a dead horse" 😂💀

[@attornurse1]

Noem writes a book ! Recounts her experience of frustration with her puppy and admits to killing her puppy because ( A PUPPY ) is behaving like a puppy ! Wow . Gives the people a close of view of her mental instability , inability to control her impulses ! A dire warning and much appreciated by her constituents! She will not be voted back in ! 😊

[@NewMessage]

Louis' strained 'Wow...' was perfect. Perfect.

[@michaelginever732]

Noem Defends the indefensible. Not just a psychopath, a psychopath without any perception of normal empathetic human behaviour or ability to imitate such.

[@Thadmotor1044]

and trump asset part of trump's ongoing Coup .

[@elizamccroskey1708]

So a perfect MAGA candidate.

[@Tonyhouse1168]

@@elizamccroskey1708EXACTLY what I was thinking!

[@helenwheels3341]

Trump's perfect VP

[@yvonnetomenga5726]

@michaelginever • Noem must be surrounded by psychopaths, or at least other people lacking empathy, because they can't even teach her a response that a decent person would make.

[@aggressiveattitudeera887]

Oh, I just knew Stephen was going to be all over the "Donald von Shitzenpants" thing! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@jeffr6206]

Wouldn't his son be Der Baron Von Shitzenpantz?

[@Marty_Wanlass]

Trump needs to understand that his War on Women has made MOST women furious. We are angry and organized. We will never vote for him. Our votes will go to a decent, caring man....President Biden.

[@spirit5228]

Didn't white women who knew about how this buffone is still vote for him in droves? Even after the access tape? White women typically vote against their own interests, with their white men.

[@pattyayers]

A 14-month-old dog IS A PUPPY by definition

[@TheWtfanime]

Vote for the man who is currently president and actually won the popular vote who cares about the country, and not the psychopath who's enabling other psychopaths to slowly get more power.

[@MaekarManastorm]

Vote Trump

[@courtneybrubaker9738]

Trump lost the popular vote with Hillary and Biden. It was the electoral college votes that matter.

[@courtneybrubaker9738]

@@MaekarManastormnot in my lifetime.

[@whoseturnisit9733]

Hope you all do, else the world is over with him at the helm. Whoever votes for Trump must be the same as him, which is the main reason I won’t visit the US until they are not so hateful. It may never happen.

[@DissectGibberish]

@@MaekarManastorm NO.

[@Opinionsrnotfacts574]

You will recall just like the abortion issue, Trump let each state decide how they would respond to a global pandemic - see how well that turned out.

[@philsmith7910]

He’s was number one in spreading falsities about Covid… starting with “It’s a China thing” And he made America #1 in the number of deaths from Covid!

[@HelynnHeels]

I remember him complaining that there wouldn't be so many cases of COVID if there wasn't so much testing.

[@mlt177]

I just remember him saying can’t we just inject bleach or something like that to kill the virus inside of us?

[@roberthill799]

@HelynnHeels. He’s a three-year old who still hasn’t been able to comprehend what cause and effect means.

[@Anne--Marie]

It turned out so well that my brother is dead.

[@lemunbalm3731]

The dog was perfectly trainable. She was simply unqualified to train. She didn’t have the decency to hire a trainer nor could she be bothered to adopt the dog out.

[@WarrenJones-ec8xo]

When someone's dog bites several people what do you do to it??

[@susanrobb3004]

I swear, they’re sedating him to keep him quiet…he can’t control his outbursts.

[@rathersane]

Maybe they could borrow Kristi Noem’s old shock collar to keep him from dozing off.

[@rebeccalyle8443]

////; the puppy was 14 months old!!! That woman is evil and I pray to God she is not re-elected. Why not give the puppy away? I can’t stand her.

[@sam.morr1s]

Poor animals...😢

[@jacquelynbrickman2982]

Poor Indian Nations that won't let her step foot on their land. And don't forget Trump refers to people he doesn't like as animals....so all lives are not safe from being shot in the face.

[@roberthill799]

If there were a god, this woman would not exist.

[@ThatOpalGuy]

​@@roberthill799more proof that's it all fiction

[@morbidmanmusic]

Your god is evil. Where was it when she killed all the animals? Late as usual...

[@escottc]

"People are saying," are the chorus of voices in Trump's head.

[@Thadmotor1044]

yes people are sayin donald von shitzenpants . What ever the Donald is eating , bad Diet making the Donald bloviating Gasbag

[@Thadmotor1044]

should try vegan

[@PennyDavis-cm9tl]

They all call him Sir.

[@PennyDavis-cm9tl]

There are prescriptions for that trouble.😮

[@stevenmoore3480]

@@PennyDavis-cm9tl yes jail

[@pjcranberry4912]

I love Stephen's sense of humor. 😊😂😊❤

[@mychannelgoaway2833]

That was one of the most hilarious episodes ever! Laugh out loud funny. Keep up the good work!

[@JS-ps6cb]

😂😂 agreed!

[@humanforotherhumanst4619]

Noemi should have written about her affairs than killing a dog.

[@barbaramonaco105]

She has had a long affair with Corey Lewandowski. Both of them are married to other people.

[@KPVFarmer]

Maybe she’s saving that for her next book

[@humanforotherhumanst4619]

@@barbaramonaco105 yes, that is true and it doesn't bother the Maga people.

[@darlenelarochelle4011]

Yeah. Apparently that's OK now.

[@whiskyjames4200]

Hello Lewandowski...

[@ringomylove]

When will Trump be held in contempt of court? Surely if any other defendant fell asleep during their trial there would be consequences?

[@asmith8692]

As long as he's asleep he's not trying to intimidate witnesses or muttering in court. The judge might actually be semi okay with it.

[@mattlewis383]

@@asmith8692 and the law only says he has to be present

[@georgebuscay8511]

I worked with the court system for years. I never saw anyone get away with what he does, and if they said an iota of what he's said, they'd at least get a few days to a week in jail. Kathleen

[@malinolsson5921]

@@mattlewis383😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@dannycummings2755]

@@MyOutsideSocksThat’s not how it works.

[@JS-ps6cb]

Freezing his drowsy balls off 😂😂😂 omg that made me lol

[@VickiStanley-nf4gl]

A good businessman never goes anywhere without a pen.

[@cindytripp]

There's no proof he is a good business man.

[@VickiStanley-nf4gl]

@@cindytripp That's the point of my post. If he were a good businessman, he would have a pen. tRump is a fraud.

[@karlspencer5584]

Trump is an international embarrassment to USA cheers from Australia

[@enceladusmoon3577]

Totally agree with you cheers from the UK.

[@user-ip5dm6jf8k]

Von Shitzenpants! Classic.

[@roberthill799]

The millions of mean-spirited and illiterate Americans who support that slug are a bigger embarrassment to America. -An embarrassed American

[@joanies6778]

Yes, he is to most Americans, too. He sure has exposed the corruption and radical right wing agendas and prejudices. Now we have to vote blue to fix the laws and loopholes that enabled this pos anywhere near the Oval Office.

[@lwherndon]

Agree and cheers from the US

[@aggressiveattitudeera887]

"...because unlike Kristi Noem, I don't like beating a dead horse." Oof.

[@charlenemack7040]

Stephen Colbert, when Trump bent down to pick up the pen you should of had fart sounds. A missed opportunity.

[@Arfarf69]

It should be a federal felony and life in prison any harm to any animals

[@bobwoods1302]

She's admitting to animal cruelty. Can't she be charged?

[@alysiareid6659]

I heard it was many years ago. Don't know if it's true.

[@jamesrowden303]

@@alysiareid6659 It's like confederate monuments, it's a statue of lamentation that is in effect.

[@andreah6379]

Who would? Another Rethuglicon will never do that and no Democrat has any real power to press charges. It's a red-ruled state. This is what they do!

[@mwater_moon2865]

Fun fact... her office tried to point to the SD law that says that dogs that kill livestock should be put down. But that law very SPECIFICALLY doesn't mention poultry. So when that was pointed out, they referred to another law that says it's only LEGAL to kill dogs that are killing poultry, IF THEY AREN'T ON THE OWNER'S PROPERTY. So since she killed the dog on her own farm, according to the laws they quoted to say it was okay, she's guilty of a Class 2 misdemeanor. Dontcha just love a head of a state executive branch not knowing the laws?

[@garethjones2596]

I believe it is an article of faith among Republicans that elected officials cannot be charged with criminal offences; otherwise we'd have a democracy instead of the dictatorship the Founding Fathers and Supreme Court intended.

[@o.h.w.6638]

It’s amazing how us pet owners will unite regardless of politics ❤ I love that

[@j.raymunds]

Always makes me laugh🎉🎉🎉 thank you Mr.Colbert

[@robertgandler3177]

Spot on honest and hysterical as always thanks!

[@seraphonica]

if I knew Trump was going to invite people to throw pens at him, I'd have bought a ticket. and spent twice as much at Staples.

[@laranadesign4764]

😂😂😂

[@pkpattih1965]

🤣😂🤣

[@yurielcundangan9090]

Jail is a necessary punishment. Lock him Up!

[@marcpeterson1092]

If he is convicted in a fair trial.

[@JIM-ot4ws]

@@marcpeterson1092 He shoud have been locked up pending trial in all 4 cases.

[@jojolouis]

@@marcpeterson1092 It's trial by jury isn't it ??? so we'll see..... innocent until proven guilty, definitely!!! Guilty when proven guilty.

[@marcpeterson1092]

Everyone online is so eager to hate the other side of the political divide. Nothing but venom. I am just trying to stand up for decency and rationality. The response I get show how unpopular those things have become.

[@patrich.890]

Trump looked out of breath after picking up the pen. 😂

[@user-vd2vm8wm9f]

Thanks Stephen for making me laugh through the Trump tragedy!😅

[@indigowolf556]

Great monologue Stephen. Her dog was 14 months old it wasn't a tiny puppy but 14 months old is a year and a couple of months so it's still considered a puppy. And if she knew about animals she would have known that. Shame on her.

[@norarivers2744]

Love the Cary Grant segment 👏🏽💛✨

[@jhill4874]

A mean nickname for Trump? How unfair. Trump would never make up mean nicknames for people he doesn't like.

[@SuperViolaplayer]

LOL!!

[@realhorrorshow8547]

Can you imagine Trump in an orange jumpsuit? It'd be like the opposite of the Invisible Man. You wouldn't be able to _not_ see him. He'd burn out your retinas through a brick wall.

[@lilianevanbel3123]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@yurielcundangan9090]

Jail is a necessary punishment. Lock Trump Up!

[@1truek269]

Then he can bend down all he wants 😂

[@jeffereyroderick7006]

​@@1truek269even more. 😂😂⚖️🇺🇸

[@billgreen1861]

​@@1truek269 I wouldn't want to see that. 🙈

[@whiskyjames4200]

Yes, Hillary's karma is finally catching up on Trump.

[@whiskyjames4200]

​@@1truek269He will not be bending down in prison soon.

[@realitycheck5902]

Trump left COVID up to the states too, that didn't turn out well either. Noem should be arrested/charged with animal abuse.

[@ZephyrysBaum]

Maybe it was better trump leaving COVID with the states though... Didn't he say to inject yourself with disinfectant...

[@dunbarf2413]

Has me thinking he did so as he was too afraid to take responsibility along with accountability even though that was his freaking job! He wants all the glory, the power, the authority, the benefits yet doesn't want to do the work.

[@josephhawthorne5097]

@@dunbarf2413 Yea, he openly said he takes no responsibility anytime anything is slightly bad, but happily brags about anything that gets positive coverage. Just another of his pathetic acts that should ruin any hopes of a continuing political career, but unfortunately the base he relies on are so brainwashed they accept that as somehow making him strong and smart, instead of the proof of how weak and cowardly he is.

[@Al-oe8ib]

Trump being anti mask and denying Covid even existed at first, when he knew, killed hundreds of thousands….needlessly. And his recommendations for ivermectin and hydroxychloroquine literally killed 17000 more Americans

[@nancychandler3673]

Interesting how California had less deaths from Covid, being the highest populated State. Florida and South Dakota did the worse

[@sharpnote1480]

Kristi Noem just doesn’t understand. She is one of the MAGA Republicans that have a hard time thinking.

[@buddhacat422]

Justice for Cricket! Noem for Prison 2024!

[@etienelamaine9392]

Remember.. vote for the D candidate D is for defending YOUR RIGHTS. an R WILL REMOVE ALL OF THEM. DEFEND OR REMOVE

[@tja3495]

I like that 🗽! Yes, women of America, Trump and Trump's Republican Fascist Party will NOT stop at removing your Healthcare rights, next will be removing your Voting Rights!

[@CharlesBridges-np4hv]

NICE ONE

[@Tonyhouse1168]

Whose boat is this boat? It almost scares me that we’ve forgotten just how many stupid, poopy, terrible things this guy did before, during, and after he was given the presidency against the wishes of 81,000,000 Americans.

[@DorothyChartrand]

Jeeezuz is on his side

[@jspres86]

Poopy.....

[@lorrie2878]

Make Trump dissappear, pleez Jeezuz!

[@CupidCrux]

You just reminded me I need a copy of that book lol

[@Rebel-ex5ej]

Fuckin Democrats

[@tammileroux3329]

That Boeing lawyer needs to be worried. With Boeing's whistleblowers, two now, suddenly, mysteriously died. That lawyer needs to be aware of that all those Boeing slides now know where he lives

[@mets97]

Not for nothing, but during Kimmel, ABC didn't "bleep" Michael Cohen's little nickname for Trump.

[@atklm1]

Trump apparently cannot stay awake if he's not talking or tweeting. If he has to sit, be quiet and listen to something non-entertaining, he falls asleep. Like a 6-year old that is full of energy but start dozing off in 20 minutes while in the backseat of a car, having to sit quiet without mobile devices.

[@patrikfloding7985]

He's correct place is in a home for the elderly.

[@SeansModelBuilds]

​@@patrikfloding7985 No, don't torment the Elderly! Those places are bad enough without having Trump there also.

[@xixBenjixix]

rent free

[@gemeric4400]

He takes adderall which has a slight touch of meth in it.

[@atklm1]

@@gemeric4400 Welp, it all keeps adderalling up, I suppose.

[@jspres86]

He wants unchecked power, but he also just wants to be loved! Scars from childhood, and his time at Penn, and from the 90's, and from a decade ago, and from 3 years back, and from last week, and from about 17 minutes ago.

[@laperryrn]

I get what you’re saying but please stop making excuses for this guy.

[@intomnia3313]

@@laperryrnI think you missed it.

[@edwardfletcher7790]

​@laperryrn WHOOOOSH !!! lol

[@ReadABookAndLearn]

@@laperryrnI don’t think pointing out that Trump is a deeply troubled, fragile individual who is perpetually reacting to his emotional wounds which stem from his issues with Daddy as a child is making excuses for him.

[@searsfarmcat3328]

That pup could have been rehomed and/or retrained. It was Noem's own failure as a trainer, not the dog's. And Yes, 14 months is still considered a pup! Dogs don't reach their full adulthood until 2 yrs.

[@deionisgnarly111]

That wolf blitzer character is coming along nicely haha

[@zesty9815]

5:54 Yes, Donald, you already told us what you like: _“I’m allowed to go in because I’m the owner of the pageant. … You know, they’re standing there with no clothes. And you see these incredible-looking women. And so I sort of get away with things like that.”_ Creep.

[@dunningkruger3774]

15 year old "women?" I think Donny hung out with Jeffy a little to long-

[@RobertJohnson-bj5lk]

@@dunningkruger3774 Epstein didn’t commit suicide, neither did the Boeing Whistleblower. A lot of people who know too much are being unalived like Kristi Noem’s animals.

[@lilianevanbel3123]

And yet he wants no men in the girls' locker rooms. Yeah, right,go on, you shining example.

[@jellyphish2112]

In a normal universe saying that Cary Grant did not look good in any scenario would be grounds for execution.

[@-oiiio-3993]

Archibald Leach.

[@bwenluck9812]

​@@-oiiio-3993 "A rose by any other name...." 😉

[@roberthill799]

@He’s the best and most versatile movie actor I’ve ever seen. Completely at home in both drama (e.g. Notorious) and comedy (e.g. Bringing Up Baby). His comic acting is quite under- appreciated, I think.

[@Antoila80]

0:40 Forever funny - that gumming had me howling!😁😁😁🤡

[@user-zu9dl7fs2p]

My family rescued several dogs. We have worked with Blue Heelers, Aussie shepherds, and pudlepointers. It took 2 weeks to train one of them, 4 months for another and it took a year to train another because she was feral and had never seen people before. We never gave up. Our doggos became beloved members of our family who were protected and cherished. That's how it's supposed to be. 🐾

[@kylehd7]

When he bent down to get the pen, I thought, "Wow, I never thought I'd see the day he'd actually bend down to pick something up off the ground." Turns out, he too was impressed.

[@JAT-qr8eq]

Joe Biden can still ride a bicycle and manage to pick himself up from a fall. I'm 100% sure he can pick up a pen. I'm not 100% sure D.T, can ride a bicycle.

[@TSIRKLAND]

"Complaining for Applause" actually sounds like a perfect title for a Lewis Black special!

[@Lv-nq9qz]

It sounds very simular to Patton Oswalts special "talking for clapping"

[@petesashlyn]

Noem just keeps digging herself deeper and deeper. Maybe she and Eric can hug.

[@Bamajana]

Thank you for the laughs, in this sad state of affairs.

[@titusrider7948]

Anyone who has had a dog knows that all they really want to do is please you. From the first time you teach them to fetch and they bring back the stick they're usually greeted with 'good boy, great job' maybe not so much when they bring back a lawn ornament, but you get the idea. They'll usually drop the stick at your feet with a slight bow and their but in the air, tail wagging like a high tempo metronome "was that good? Did i do good?..." and on this familiar story a loving bond is built. I can't imagine the horror Cricket must have felt after seemingly grabbing the concept of fetching birds, only to be led to a gravel pit by the one you're trying to please and suddenly shot in the face. What kind of a monster would do this?

[@dancepiglover]

And according to her, Cricket was having the time of her life running around and that’s when she decided the dog needed to die. 😥

[@kitcobain444]

She's sickening, and she has no defense. Even "working dogs" would be trained with positive reinforcement well past two years old. She's a sociopathic liar.

[@asmith8692]

And justifying it because Cricket snapped at her. An overexcited anything doesn't always identify who's trying to grab them.

[@karinbarger9192]

I would consider anything she says, after learning what she’s done, as total BS!!!

[@mlt177]

Better keep an eye on her. That’s the very same way several serial killer’s started out!

[@Nite2012Mare]

Dementia Don for prison bride 👍 👍 -he is what happens when you pay people to do your homework all your life. 🙄

[@storywala88]

How dare you say against Carry Grant! This is where we draw the line! 😂

[@anitadees4223]

Noem is a LIAR. If she thinks we'll believe that a 14-month-old puppy is capable of behaving like a well-trained hunting dog, she is deluded. She got such a thrill out of snuffing the puppy, she immediately dragged a billy goat to the quarry and killed him too.

[@aaronpeart]

“My opponent is so old! Now let me refer to basically the first movie star to ever exist”

[@theemmjay5130]

It always kills me when Trump makes age jokes about a man who's four years older than he is. You ain't exactly a spring chicken yourself, Donny!

[@Xaniker]

It was not a puppy but a working dog? It was an innocent living being which had no choice where it was born into and deserved to live.

[@DissectGibberish]

At 14 months old, Cricket was STILL a puppy. Don't let her mislead you.

[@Xaniker]

@@DissectGibberish oh yes. 14 months is definitely puppy. She can't mislead me though. No matter what age it is it doesn't deserve that.

[@evangeloevoxi]

I laughed way too hard when Stephen said "Should we maybe.... Kiss?" Lmfao the audience groan 🤣😂😭

[@TheThomasG]

the moment with the courtroom sketch with the jumpsuit… amazing