WOMAN be Quiet, Step Back and Let Him Lead Already

[@shamelessmaya]

Do you understand how much God is testing my obedience here in the comments?!? 🤣🤣🤣 Feeling the impulse to be understood but you know what…imma be SILENT 🤣🤣🤣 Thank you for engaging in the comments whether you agree or disagree. The seeds have been planted. You can’t unsee what you just watched 🙏🏾 Thank you God 🙌🏾✨

[@noble604]

Maya, it’s all about pride, humility and being conformed into the image of Christ moment by moment, day by day, all of your life. This doesn’t come without our brokenness and suffering. Our pride is brutal. We all ... each and every one of us ... seeks to rise up and stand up for our “self”/ to defend our “self” and for our “self” to be heard, understood and “right.” This is the exact opposite of what Jesus did. He DIED to Himself for us, giving up all glory of His own so that we may be justified through Him and His lowliness not saying one word as men reviled Him to His death, but instead asking The Father for forgiveness for them. We die daily -in small and large ways - as we crucify our flesh and resist the urges to be self-glorifying, self-centered and right . This is the daily test and daily walk of the Christ follower. It is a daily transferral of our own self-rule to God ruling us. Blessings to you as you walk this narrow path of humility, abasement and quietness. It is not easy AT ALL. It was never promised to be but it is worth it and you WILL be greatly rewarded as you continue in this Christlike path until you see Him face to face. Shalom 🕊

[@angelofmine3271]

PROUD OF YOU you are doing Gods will. God sees you. Do not condemn yourself for the things you are not aware of now. It’s a “renewal” of the mind Romans 12:2 You are on a journey, and you are transforming every day. Maya you are Honoring God and because of this he is blessing you with divine wisdom and insight for you to give to your husband and saga and others. Being submissive to your husband is a mirror to being submissive to God. If we are unable to surrender we will not be able to truly have the fear of the lord. The hyper independence that this world has put on us is the plan of the enemy to break the family dynamic. You are in your purpose. You and max are light!

[@nordiclights1]

This is the problem with nowadays' comment-culture. Often instead of people taking time, trying to understand, think, they just feel the impulse to react before doing so. They might not even get the whole message, they just take out a part of it and want to share their opinion about it. Instead of engaging in a conversation. Also for people who do not know Sweden and Nordic countries, a certain way of thinking about family dynamics- and a certain way of openness and honesty when talking about complex topics, might be unfamiliar. I enjoy your videos of thinking out loud about life, love, how marriage should be for you and how it is in the moment because it is interesting and honest. Thank you for sharing your personal journey. Many things what you and you two have been talking about made me think and reflect on in my own life.

[@carmenitac]

Continue being bold in Christ Maya! Some ppl may not like it but your job is to plant seeds, regardless how ppl get offended!

[@charlie16126]

This CHOICE made to follow Christ is not for the faint at heart. The bible tells us of all the hurt we will endure bc of his name sake. Keep praying to God to help you thru moments like these. Every day, choose God and he will continue showing you who he is. I am so excited for you hunger to know him.

[@veroniquefaison]

Maya, I am so happy you decided to discuss this. I am also married and I constantly have to remind myself it's okay to step back and allow my husband to lead our family.

[@shamelessmaya]

We’re not alone 🙏🏾✨

[@ahaze_]

​@@shamelessmaya It's disturbing you are pivoting in this direction. Religion is nothing but male supremacist ideology. Males invent these ideologies/religions/customs to control women and children for access to sex. Eve coming from Adam's rib?! We are all products of WOMEN. Woman is the base form of human being, and males are a mutation of female. Your mother made you with her very bone and blood matter and you carried that on to your children. Sons even inherit more genetic material from their mothers because the X is the superior gene. Men have for generations used lies to subjugate women, and you are spewing that to your audience?! Encouraging yourself to be smaller? To be silent?? I get conquering self control and deep critical thought. And we all benefit from learning when to advocate for ourselves/argue a position or to let something go. These adult skills do not need to be attached to female "submission" and "obedience" to men. Males are currently exploiting, trafficking, and raping on every inhabitable planet on earth with this type of dogma on their side. Women/girls have less access to education and freedom of movement in majority of places on earth! The International Labor Org states there are more slaves than ever, and a large percentage are females (adults AND children) for male profit and pleasure, and most in countries committed to the so called "word of God." I encourage you to read up on evolutionary psychology and human reproductive behavior to illuminate aspects of our culture that exist solely to make women easier to control by males she otherwise would not choose. An example from the animal kingdom: There is a type of fish where larger males are chosen by females to mate with because it results in healthier offspring more fit to survive. However, there are smaller fish who "cheat" by sneaking into the female's nest when she's with the bigger fish and despoting his sperm. That's what religion helps men do- cheat. It's a tool to 1. restrict women's power and 2. sway women to abandon intuition and sense of self in order to "obey". Every male is driven to procreate. Many, like the small fish who sneak into nests, cheat by using the state/religion/any external pressures that encourage submission in order to coerce women.

[@melaniepalapuz7406]

Love! ❤ I am learning this too. So liberating 🎉

[@user-lenise876]

I was just here thinking that I don't behave like I'm ready for marriage...my level of submissiveness is not where it should be. Whoieeeee😮

[@aderoprescott4461]

So many ebbs and flows within marriage. My husband is 24 years older than me. I was 26 when we married. I was silent and accepting until about my mid 30’s, I found my voice. I thought and was taught within church that being a wife was being silent, obedient & submissive. So that’s what I did but then I realized I was losing myself. I started reading and learning and building myself up. I married the man I wanted and what God wanted for me. I don’t doubt that but God didn’t place me with him to disappear and dissolve into nothing. What I learned is my husband was also waiting for me to show up. Not to take over and take control but to be an active participant and contributor to not just our children (which is what I was perfect at) but to building our future as a couple. I’m a strong woman but I didn’t know until later and we’re strong together. He listens better, I opened up and blossomed and communicate verbally much better. 17 years and we’re better together. You’ll ebb & flow. Trust the process.

[@tishainnis]

Love this! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 This is what God intended.

[@BoMaBriGgs]

I love, love, love this!!

[@melmel7011]

Its different from Mayas marriage, she has always been vocal and you were not. I feel in both your stories, you now doing something different

[@AllThingsSoul]

I agree 100%. No woman will be happy if she's silent and controlled. A man needs his wife's intellect, her thoughts and opinions, all given to him with respect for his manhood. No man wants a doormat. No woman wants a doormat. That's why I don't like the word submissive. It's been used by abusive men. Abusing a woman is not loving her as God loved the church.

[@melmel7011]

@@AllThingsSoul I personally do not have a problem with the word or even submitting if im with a man who is loving me right. Unfortunately the men who force women to submit, ain't good men

[@astride7881]

This is what it looks when one is letting God lead. You start to grow in ways you never imagined. Watching you grow intentionally in your walk and in your marriage is beautiful to see.

[@thenewnew40pluswoman8]

This is good. I’m 41. Got married at 40. I have intentionally fallen back from the powerhouse woman I (had) to be when I was single. I want my husband to lead. And yes I do communicate, speak up, but it’s a dance, it’s timing, it’s context, it’s energy. If you’re married…you know. Trying to explain to someone that isn’t living that married/partnered life where they want harmony, peace, and maintain femininity isn’t going to understand. You cannot explain it where it makes sense because frankly marriage doesn’t make sense sometimes and everyone’s is going to look different. When our husbands feel empowered, listened to, respected, heard, decisions are agreed on by us…we as wives benefit from that.

[@MimiD14]

Beautifully Written

[@bribri4275]

As a single woman who is drawing closer to God everyday, this is a perfect description of what I believe and know inherently to be true. I can’t wait to flex this knowledge and understanding in marriage.

[@cuzeke]

Well said!

[@ellebeauty8737]

🎯

[@hellotinashe]

Girrrlllll! You spoke to my soul. I'm a 39y/o ex-CEO turned homemaker (still working as a part-time consultant) and have been on this new season of embracing quiet in all ways. Sitting in my silence within my marriage has probably been the hardest part of my journey and I think it's because I still haven't fully let go of the belief that 'my way is better'... What has been working for me has been rather than trying to convince myself to believe that "he's right', I reframe and say 'ok tinashe, you're right, so what? how much does it matter to me?' and usually I realize the answer to that question is I actually don't care as much as my opinionatedness thinks I do. The moral of my story is most things don't matter so just be quiet lol.

[@shamelessmaya]

You get it! Maybe it’s a life chapter/age thing cause I really don’t have the time for this nonsense and YET! But yes…just be quiet Maya and have a seat 🙏🏾

[@mickyrose840]

Hello Tinashe! i love your comment and I see that you have a youtube channel. I'm definitely subscribing 😃

[@inspiringgirl1821]

Word

[@ManipuraCentreCo]

"Most things don't matter so just be quiet." I'm taking this one with me!!

[@photoqueennyc]

This comment is so on point. I'm 38 and have been living a very independent life and working for myself so in this new era n partnership I'm in, I too am still struggling with "my way is better". I'm older than my partner and find myself fixing, correcting, redoing things lol it's such a struggle to be more silent

[@SnoozeAddict]

I'm an atheist so I can't relate to the religious part. But I have been married for 18 yrs and we treat each other as equals. No ones in control unless we are unburdening the other person when we have too much on our plate. I'm a strong woman and would never use the term "obedient" to describe me as a wife, instead say *willing to compromise* as long as it serves us both. I don't serve my husband and he doesn't serve me. We are on this life journey together and compromise when we hit a wall. I wish you well on this new phase/chapter of your life. Love from Boston.

[@LaciRae]

i’m agnostic (unable to believe the bible/any religion but do feel a spiritual connection to the universe), been married 18 years, & i wholeheartedly relate to your relationship style. i could never do it any other way. neither of us should feel obligated to inhibit our inherent qualities/characteristics. he leads (is “the leader”) in the areas he is stronger in, & vice versa with me. in areas where we are both equally capable & affected, we mutually decide/figure it out together. luckily we agree on pretty much every single thing. but on the rare event that either of us strongly disagree, we make it known, & it matters that both of us reach a place where we are both confident/satisfied with the outcome.

[@shamelessmaya]

Thanks for sharing 🙏🏾✨ 18 years is LONG! I look forward to being able to drop those stats 🎉🎉🎉

[@KAR_musica]

Yeah the word obedient is a strange way to describe a marriage... to me its like something you'd expect in a parent-child or teacher-student relationship, where there is a clear power dynamic. I feel that religion can push these odd gender roles on to people leading them to extremes. Life is about balance and I feel like the way you described your marriage is exactly that. Also why do I feel like there are so many adjectives to describe how a women should be in a relationship but very few for men?

[@Genie2386]

​@@KAR_musica Lol I made sure to have the minister take the word obey out of our vows. I'm not an obedient person. I listen, I understand, I compromise, and I even follow. But obedient doesn't describe me well. I had to address a lot of trauma to get out of my quiet girl era and I don't want to go back.

[@Sallyy150]

Thanks for saying this!

[@moonamigi]

I understand the benefits being quiet at times instead of outspoken all the time. But it feels weird that the word automatically insinuates that men are always correct or have more valuable input than women if we are all flawed. Why can't it be both ways? The word inherently creates hierarchy so we're not created equally. This becomes even more questionable with arrogant or abusive men/women. I feel like it depends on each individuals personality but I'm thinking of the roles reversed. For example, a man who is more outspoken and a woman who is naturally more of the listener. Shouldn't it also apply to this outspoken man to occasionally accept being quiet, wrong, or listen to the woman's occasional input? Why can't both people take turns communicating, supporting, honoring each other, and offering control or compromising? Thats partnership.

[@ms.marimac]

Thanks for your transparency. I’m single and I’ll say your video triggered me. Not because I think you’re wrong, but only because I think it’s important for women to strike a balance when it comes to partnership. I’ve been the quiet woman before , and I suffered for it. I think there’s a way to honor your partner and respect their thoughts and decisions without abandoning your wants and needs (WHICH I DON’T THINK YOU WERE ADVOCATING FOR AT ALL). I just think these kind of discussions need that kind of disclaimer for the quiet ladies who need to learn how to speak up. Ty again for sharing your journey, Maya!

[@hmmhuh1222]

I definitely hear what you are saying, but I do truly think that as Christians this current life is so very short and we're investing in our eternal life. In the Bible, woman who are quiet, meek and servant-hearted are very much lifted up and will be rewarded. We won't get our reward before death more times than not, as people here will see those qualities and use it against us, but the Most High sees our hearts and actions and He loves those qualities very much so. I don't think we should be a doormat, but I do think that is closer to what is seen as beautiful to God than a woman who puts herself first and foremost. It is a triggering topic, but so important and interesting!

[@lanecrescent4161]

​@@hmmhuh1222 what a load of crap. You're saying to stifle who you are as a person in THIS life to be rewarded in the next? There is no next life!! This is it!

[@Purpleiciousbabe]

@@lanecrescent4161 I think it’s a way for her to comfort herself!

[@hmmhuh1222]

​@@lanecrescent4161 Well you'll find out when you die how wrong you are. But hopefully you find out before then, as life is so much better with hope and faith!

[@hmmhuh1222]

​@@Purpleiciousbabe God's word is comforting!

[@lolaa5762]

As a fellow “strong women” I’ve had this conversation with myself many times. I’ve learned I don’t always have to be right. I don’t always need to argue and prove my point. And I do need to be more soft and allowing. But society has us thinking we need to be “strong “ but you have to be very careful. It’s a very interesting conversation. And this is why I love KZbin and certain context creators y’all validate the rest of us. Like we aren’t crazy. We’re all thinking the same thing

[@ncamara670]

I think this is very traditional thinking that I recognise from my own environment. From what I have seen, this usually spells trouble in a relationship. Good relationships should be about collaboration of two equal parties rather than a leader and a follower dynamic.

[@beingkrys]

I’ve been reading the Bible more. My husband noticed that when he ask me a question I would direct it back to him to make the decision. For a while it was annoying him. Even I didn’t understand why I was doing it. Then it came to him and he said to me, “I think you are submitting to me. You want me to lead.” I started crying because it made total sense. 😮 I was so independent it was hard for me to adjust being a SAHM in 2017 and not working (a paid job), so now that I’m here mentally, I was so shocked. God has really been working on me.

[@lanecrescent4161]

God does not work on you to become a mouse 🙄

[@Minney-Me]

Yes, and we must Allow God in Heaven to work on us daily ❤ Amen 🙏🏾

[@daisiesandpandas1218]

​@@lanecrescent4161is it ok if the husband was the mouse then? Is it ok if one partner doesn't have a say and is constantly being criticized because their partners way is better but as long as it's not the woman is fine? Understand the video, this isn't to women who need to speak up, this is to the women overpowering others and not letting them speak, turning husband's into the very mouse you also don't want women to be. There will be other videos about speaking up by women who have that experience, there are godly women in these comments who had to do the opposite to Maya to bring equilibrium to their marriage. Some need to tone it up and some need to tone it down. Being controlling is not good, no matter your gender.

[@lydiav2]

After three years of marriage, I finally submit 😂 Marriage is much more fruitful when there are clear roles and mutual respect. Much love Maya ❤

[@AllThingsSoul]

What does that look like? Please give some insight.

[@aqueteaful]

These kinds of teachings, reminds me how I'm grateful I am that I'm no longer Christian and fearing my inner voice and voicing my opinions. I felt alot of shame about speaking up as a women. Now I can be the fullness I was designed to be and attract people in my life that resonate with my spirit. I respect others beliefs, I just so grateful it's no longer mind 🙏🏾 😁😌🌿

[@daisiesandpandas1218]

She's talking from the too strong willed woman's perspective, the ones acting like the controlling man in a marriage. Controlling man or woman is not a good trait. it's more than voicing opinions but making others feel inadequate, doing things your own way. They do things and you redo them or comment on how your way would have been better etc. There's a comment below from another woman who was the opposite and had to learn to speak up and be actively involved for her marriage to be better and she says God led her to that too. Advice to a massive amount of people will always be general, you have to know about yourself to know you're not the intended audience.

[@aqueteaful]

@@daisiesandpandas1218 valid points. You are right I'm not the targeted audience. I appreciate your respectful response.

[@r.walker7986]

The thing is a lot of men are basically dumb outside of the things they know so allowing yourself to be led is only going to lead to constant disappointment. Also, whatever happened to people just staying in their lanes? why does one person have to "lead" and where is everybody going? LOL. Most people get up and go to work for 30-40 years then retire, they are not headed anywhere and there is no need for all that leadership. people should just take the lead and initiative in the areas they are best at....

[@chantelove123ify]

All I’m going to say is watch what examples we are setting for our children and specifically our daughters.

[@hmmhuh1222]

Yes! The more she models a Godly woman who is soft the better of an exmple she is to her daughter!♡

[@TheFnPrototype]

I am a chronically single independent woman so I am def triggered. But I am trying to get rid of my negative connotation associated with socially negative words like “obedience,”“submissive,” “mediocre,” etc. Even though the exact words aren’t ideal, I understand what you are trying to say. If you want to trust your husbands discernment, I believe that is beautiful. If you loved him enough to marry him and trusted him enough to have a kid with him, you can trust his choice in paint color, and trust him to make other decisions too.

[@shamelessmaya]

Girl!!!! The triggering in real! I still am triggered by “obedient” BUT truly it’s obedience to God and acting with respect in partnership. Some people are better at working through differences but I can def work on it both in marriage and beyond. 🙏🏾✨ Thanks for commenting

[@mirandataylor6385]

I think obedience is still a negative word that the church has used as a disservice to women. No woman should be submitting to any man that is not Godly first. I’d even go as far to say that it comes naturally for women to be in her feminine when her husband is actually taking care of her.

[@hmmhuh1222]

I relate to you so much! I'm big on words, so for me it helps to look up the etymology of any word I'm bothered by and really seek to understand it, so when I hear it, I hear it accurately, and if someone is misusing it I'll know not to be triggered as they are just ignorant on the true meaning. I've found this so true with the word obedient. Just a tip from me that really helped me!

[@hmmhuh1222]

@@mirandataylor6385 I definitely thought that, but there isn't an exception, however hard that is to understand. In fact, I think God sees when we are faithful with what we've been asked and will often lead our unGodly partner to the truth through our obedience....I think this verse is it,,,1 Peter 3:1 "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price." But yes, def agree about it being easier to be in the feminine when a man is actually caring for us! I just don't think there is an excuse for us not to be in it, even when it is extremely difficult.

[@Artliker1234]

Why do men also resist it if the word isn't triggering? The Bible says submit one to another. It never gets discussed.

[@yogibear1023]

This is why it’s so important to choose a man who loves God and is submitted to God. Much love to you and the direction you’re going in Maya ❤️

[@Artliker1234]

Do men not change? Do people not lie.

[@brookebellamy9864]

girrrrl as a 31 year old woman that is about to get married on Saturday.......i felt this in every way! Keep sharing your testimony Maya & to God be the glory!

[@jr8694]

Congratulations!!!

[@delucastudios3097]

congratulations!!!

[@Bnw482]

I wish you the best on your journey Maya. Unfortunately this doesn’t resonate with me as I’m not a fan of applying old sensibilities/traditions to the modern world. I do understand what you mean by always having to be strong but it’s okay to find a balance because we don’t really live in a world that rewards softness or strength. The bible can be a wonderful book and I respect it for what it is but I think it’s important to look at things with a critical eye and asses wether the message is sustainable for you (which I’m sure you already do) much love 🤍

[@Saskia_B]

Wanted to mention that a “strong woman” and an “obedient woman” don’t have to be different. It takes great strength to be obedient. It just takes courage to be outspoken.

[@r.walker7986]

The thing with a lot of men is, if a woman is quiet, they assume that means they are ok and content with all the decisions and the way things are. A good man, however will not want you uncomfortable in any way so he will ask you what you want and constantly seek your validation and direction in everything to be sure so there is no point in not speaking up. When you are a healthy whole being, there is nothing worse then invertedly hurting or making your loved ones uncomfortable or less than satisfied. So if you have a man that is not CONSTANTLY checking in and making sure you feelings, wants, wishes, preferences and desires are being taken into account and exercised, you need to evaluate your choice in partners.

[@JazzyJosie]

THANK YOU!!! I just watched 11 of your videos from both channels and I've got to say - Your ISH SPEAKS TO ME! WOW. I'm 40 (as of early this year). I escaped abuse with my 4 children last year. Coming out at the halfway point of life as un-employable, having not completed anything (education), over weight, traumatized, and applying for welfare single mom of 4 (!!!) The 'church' definitely failed me big time. But my faith was not shaken. I am encouraged to read the word once again thanx to your videos. And to see that there are probably many possibilities that lay ahead for us. You are SO encouraging! I wanted to say THANK YOU! Thank you for sharing your faith journey online. Its wonderful. Have a WONDERFUL time in Canada! (Your Canadian vlog went up today) ~Jj

[@shamelessmaya]

I'm only now seeing this! Welcome to my channel (both) and I'm praying for you Josie. Hold on tight to God's word...His word is the truth and no matter what the enemy does as long as we stand with God we are covered in this life and the next.

[@JazzyJosie]

Thank you! I put a comment in another video as well. No worries about the delay in responding. Life happens. Have a Beautiful Week ~Jj@@shamelessmaya

[@teabells]

This was so good and a great reminder to just chill and be quiet sometimes!! It also gives my hubby the space to lead! Love this

[@06Nyx]

As a person who has a very large amount of skepticism about religious institutions, this concept of ‘being obedient because so say God’ definitely gets a side eye from me. I look at religious texts, like the Bible, as a historic document. And in doing that I understand and realize that the times they spoke of, the social constructs, etc etc aren’t the same as now AND also to always remember that this text was written by man. So yeah it doesn’t sit well with my spirit lol However I will say this, finding that peace within yourself, the need to not always be right, finding the best way to be in a relationship with your husband, determining your roles in each others lives and your family, is such an important process. I want to thank you for sharing that! While I am not married, I’ve seen my closest friends and family, make those adjustments and those compromises, to make their unions work! So good luck to you both~

[@shamelessmaya]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts 🙏🏾✨

[@ChelsieLarose]

I was triggered but u reminding us that the Bible is a historical religious text put together by man (and ordained by God) was a reminder of the times this was written. Though I’m sure the foundation of the text is to be a submissive wife (which I don’t disagree with), with the interpretation from the time this was written vs the several evolutions we’ve experienced as people, there’s no need to be so triggered. Just take what resonates to the time you’re in. As someone who is learning to be a bit more submissive and embrace my femininity instead of taking on the toxic independent approach I used to, I think finding that balance between the two can be hard. Balance in itself is tough. Maya I thank u for sharing your revelations with us and giving us something to think and talk about 🫶🏾.

[@sharonitu]

As a quiet woman, I know that it's possible to be both quiet and strong / very independent. Sometimes that can be a lethal combination 😅. So submission/obedience is a challenge for some of us quiet ones too. You can say alot without saying much - sometimes it's our actions that need "sanctification". I want to add though that while we as women are supposed to submit to husbands, those two scriptures are not to be taken literally. There are deeper studies that are available from trusted ministers concerning this - have a look at some of them for better context. You are teaching a lot of people right now as a woman, and that is pleasing to God. Remember that "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." - Galatians 3:28. Don't let this discourage you from continuing with the good work. What you are doing is amazing ❤.

[@jr8694]

I'm glad to see you are also a sister in Christ! I love how your comment was worded. I have a question for you - you said that those scriptures shouldn't be taken literally. Do you mind sharing how you came to that conclusion?

[@sharonitu]

@@jr8694 Deeper Bible Study. There are various factors that come into play when studying the word of God. Oftentimes you can't take everything at face value. For example, the old testament was originally written in Hebrew and the new testament in Greek. A lot was lost in translation. Using something like a concordance when studying the Bible helps with getting to the original text and meaning. There are also considerations regarding the cultural factors of that age (especially when considering scriptures about slavery and such). There are trusted ministers of the word who have done such studies and make them available for us to learn from (if you prefer to learn from others instead).

[@jr8694]

@@sharonitu I do understand where you are coming from I just think we have to be very careful when advising someone not to take a scripture literally. You ever notice how we are usually only advised to not take a scripture literally when it is a scripture that is culturally unacceptable? For example, no one ever says not to take scriptures about God’s love or forgiveness literally, but for just about every scripture in the New Testament on a subject matter that doesn't line up with our culture - the common interpretation is to not to take the scripture literally. We definitely need to rightly divide the word of truth like the Bible says, but I just find that interesting. We also have to remember that scripture is the authoritative word of God revealed by the Holy Spirit (2 Tim. 3:16-17). Extrabiblical resources like commentaries and concordances - while I use them for Bible study too - they don't have equal authority with the word of God. We all need the Holy Spirit to help us in ensuring we understand His word. God bless you !

[@ashpiredliving]

I love this authentic Convo... I love your not scare to acknowledge your growing and what u need to work on in your marriage ❤❤❤

[@EhlieLuna]

As an outspoken partner, learning how to be wrong is such a very real thing. This is the aspect of a healthy loving relationship that I hope everyone gets to experience. There is 100% a relief in not holding on to being right.

[@Layla__38]

This hit home, as a woman when men have let you down, you get used to 'fending' for yourself. Now that a good man comes along, it's like you have to let go of the control and order you have built for yourself and let someone take care of the things you usually handle. You've have learnt to trust and not doubt yourself for soo long and now you can finally share the burden with someone else. I am 25 and this is what scares me about marriage (I'm still single) it's the letting go of control and just trusting the other person.

[@peacheyearth]

Hearing you 🙏 It is a surrendering curve! But over time with the right man we can know what it feels like to trust and surrender. Being with someone who can actually be that solid and gentle to support that curve

[@ifeomaookoli]

I'm an "old" Christian but I got a lot of new things from this ... again. THANK YOU FOR SHARING MAYA.

[@jalahthompson7470]

Being outspoken is automatic! I find myself not thinking before I speak and the results is an irritated, aggravated man! Like, girl, STOP TALKING! And I feel so bad after opening my mouth, but like you I’ve been bless with a man who knows the beauty of a partnership and communication. He’s so patient and so loving and understanding and sometimes we women can take that for granted thinking we can do and say whatever with no consequences… WRONG! Now I find my self talking to myself and to god, asking questions “why do I feel triggered?” “Does what I feel like saying important? Is it relevant or am I in my feelings?” “How would he feel if I said this” then I go to god to help me make a decision to know if my speaking is appropriate at this time. This journey is a long one but eye opening about who I am and who I can be in God’s eyes, a woman of valor. Thank you so so much for this, I really appreciate you❤ p.s. I look forward to a video about your study method for your bible 😊

[@hmmhuh1222]

Your words are encouraging, sis!!! Thanks for sharing ♡ May God continue to bless you amd keep you♡

[@WanjeriGakuru]

I understand the stability that comes from finding moral guiding principles and how that can make one feel very anchored in a world in which so much is out of our control. And yes, there is wisdom in constantly checking in with oneself and finding ways to be kinder, more considerate, less abrasive, more trusting, letting go of old, harmful ways of being etc. It is wonderful to be so open to change; to want to be a better partner, especially as a response to the really good human you are sharing a life with. However, I was disheartened by the language used to explain the new path. To me, the lens through which Maya is seeing herself is more punishing than loving. Her instincts are correct and she will definitely have a stronger, more loving relationship by making more space for her partner but this Internet stranger hopes she can be gentler with herself and guard against becoming silent to the point of voicelessness.

[@corinngonzalez2331]

I have been in a season where I also had to learn that I don’t always have to be right and I don’t always have to justify myself. In that I found and learned there is power in your silence. Your silence can be felt more and can be more profound than your own words and in that if you are right you give room for the Lord to vindicate you ( for vengeance is the Lord’s not ours) and if you are wrong you allow God to teach you and show you something that you needed and then healing can take place. I really enjoyed this video I always love seeing people sharing their experiences their stories and just being vulnerable because in it we can learn from one another and all continue to grow and encourage each other. God bless you sister😊❤️

[@holyhasbeen]

You have matured so gracfully. SOOO many woman leave a good man because they cannot lay down their our selfish will and let their man lead. That is having a Jezebel spirit. WE ain't got time foe that! To God be the Glory Maya. Don't get me wrong, it is not easy but it must be done to live and have our households in the correct alignment with God's order.

[@jayye8695_]

I just don’t understand why, in 2023, we’re still on this “obedience” thing. Compromise, collaboration and leadership (which of course involves letting your teammate take lead on some things and knowing when it’s best to) in a partnership make sense, but if you are both grown adults, I just don’t understand why anybody is practicing “obedience” with regard to the other in any context outside of the bedroom Lol. The example about the green paint seems to be just an area where one person had a strong preference and the other didn’t. Which is just the normal goings-on of 2 people being in the same space really.

[@KreativeHoliness]

I get what you’re saying, the obedience or submission piece is still being discussed because for us women who are Christian wives we have to know what God requires of us. His word let’s us know what the roles are and the beauty in those roles. Of course every marriage works differently and every home runs differently but if Christian wives truly desire to please God we have to do what His words says even when it comes down to our marriages.

[@camillebelcon8811]

Hey Maya, I'm one of those quiet women and thank you for acknowledging that we might have to approach things differently. I think if you make yourself a doormat, people are bound to use you and step on you. I've had to build belief in my self worth, stop having an apologetic attitude for not being perfect and develop the fortitude to be dependable and a person my husband can bounce ideas off of. I am naturally submissive but in a partnership, even a traditional one, your partnership needs to be able to rely on you.

[@shamelessmaya]

True! I really don’t know what that’s like. I’m from the world of feeling like I need to be heard and understood, but now I’m my 40’s I want to learn how to be more quiet. Like a quiet strength where I don’t need to flex but i can if I want to 🤣 Thank you for sharing here in the comments.

[@shesagoddess3592]

I thought this title was hyperbole for clickbait. Firstly count your blessings that you have a man that you can rely on to make the right decisions. I took a really good point from this regarding allowing him to lead (when it doesn't matter like paint colour) but - not every one has a relationship where the man is capable of leading the family to success. This is really hard to allow him space to make his own decision when I know things could literally go disastrously wrong. I am battling the idea of letting his vision lead us - but I definitely will take a leaf out of your book to help guide his vision to fruition and speak support into that. Thank you. Max is very competent at life, let alone EI which is the perfect compliment to an independent woman. I am glad you're allowing him to step into his own within your partnership. This is amazing. I have learned the same things in partnerships with men is usually to allow them space to be men and not to bruise their ego. As an independent woman we also have that ego which needs space to be present also. From reading 48 laws of power - allow people to feel they are right - mainly when it doesn't matter. My favourite thing is to just say 'OK' when people say something completely wrong, but it doesn't matter to me whether they learn the right thing or see my side of something, surprisingly, even when it's glaringly obvious that they have said something ridiculous, when you just say OK they don't notice the things unsaid. It's amazing how challenging it is to change this sort of habit but once it becomes a habit - it's liberating. I used to be a Christian, but I have learned women are incredible teachers and nurturers by nature. Now the patriarchy have loosened up the bullying of the past have given us access to education, we can give the guidance to men and others around us. Finding a balance between supporting, nurturing and stepping back when you're unnecessarily The parts in the bible you read are triggering - why - because it isn't equal - why - well who wrote the bible and especially this bit and what was their motive at the time. I am going to do my research into what the true texts say at some point but currently we are aware that monks were the only people to read to the bible to the congregation and control the population at the time. We also know that there was a slave bible with specific chapters that educated us to be good slaves and obey the slave master as the will of God. I say all this to say, be mindful of how much of your blessings you are trying to shield from the world because of these texts and allow a balance. Everyone needs guidance/nurture/a teacher in something and should also have access to space to that authority over things they are competent in so you compliment each other and form a balance in choices.

[@jccn1728]

This is BEAUTIFUL, IT TOOK ME 20 yrs of marriage to get to this point. We have now been married 36 yrs and so much stronger because I learned to trust my husband and close my MOUTH. Thank you for sharing

[@lisellemodeste4378]

This is the maturity we need. Obedience to God allows love, trust and character to be developed. The world doesn't have to understand girl. Just keep doing you and the fruit will speak for itself.

[@ShaniieBee]

Speechless rn - I have been diving into the word and yesterday 5/16/23 I was reading the Bible 1 Peter 3:4 when GOD said “even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit which is in the sight of GOD of great price” You touch the seed of my soul and I can definitely relate “ be quite and still and let the man lead” this is a REVELATION TO ME. Father, Thank you for speaking thru Mia 🙏🏽 God bless you 💋

[@eternitysafro1083]

Yes, yes, yes Maya! I agree wholeheartedly with you!

[@theparttimehomemaker]

I love your reflections. I’m the same- submitting to a kind, loving husband makes submission much easier (although not completely easy). When we also allow our husbands to talk freely without us constantly interjecting removes a lot of conflict within a marriage and makes him ultimately love being around us more.

[@shamelessmaya]

Agreed! Ultimately it’s about mutual respect, and for me that’s being quiet 🤣 Thankfully my husband Max and I are all about equality but I legit just want to learn how to be quiet since I suck at it

[@Artliker1234]

Really is that what the colloquial understanding of submission is, that's how it's practiced ? Basic conversation skills. And what happens when your husband isn't kind or he has a bad day or simply falls into human nature and exercises the power given to him through dated societal and overemphasized gender roles. What happens then? Ephesians 5:21 opens with submit one to another, then goes into wives submit in husbands and husbands treat your wives as Christ did the CHURCH. Meaning quite literally die for your wife. Never hear discussion about "submit one to another" or the call for husbands to die for their wives, no just continual incessant discussion of women ignoring their basic autonomy and right to express themselves or thinking as not to threaten the man. My God didn't ask me to be stupid or thoughtless or be led around like a child, and that's how most people expect and understand submission.

[@ADivaForLife]

As an older single woman (55) I love this discussion.. Maya you are always right on time with knowledge 😘🥰

[@shellyhoward3060]

Funny, I too am a single 55 year old woman loving this discussion! Yes good stuff!

[@lbee8247]

I have been married for almost 30 years. You are on a beautiful path. I found out that surrendering brought joy! Can you believe it?! God's way is foolish to the world. But when you trust it you find joy that doesn't make sense to the world.

[@hmmhuh1222]

Amen!!!! I have so much joy now, it is indescribable!

[@2005evie]

I love this!!! I am 35 single for years and have fought to be heard in relationships with my Dad/Men/women! I often thought that my Mom was weak when I saw my Dad say something in public to her and she often would just go with the flow not knowing that behind closed doors they would have a discussion and she would have the last word 😂. From what I’ve learned from the context of the time the scripture of women being silent was women were being disruptive in church and asking lots of questions to their husbands while service was going so Paul was writing to keep order in the church. Not to say that your video doesn’t comply about taking steps back to letting your husband be the leader that he needs to be. What I’ve been learning in my single hood and preparing for marriage is the sacrifice when the Bible says “husbands love your wife is Christ loves the church…” and all we as wives have to do is submit..and how powerful that is… Yes, I’m still a work in progress! I’m learning along the way… but in turn I realized just how strong my Mom truly is ❤

[@krystallindsey3378]

Maya I am in the same season that you are in. I was an independent woman, and now I am choosing to be obedient to my husband and stepping out of the way so he can be the leader of our family. I have found that since I have done this we have peace and harmony between us. My husband does not disrespect me or try to overpower me. But instead he values my opinion more because I have decided to support his decisions and not always feel like my voice must be heard. I support him and he turns around and supports me too.

[@selimosu]

I would just caution that obedience is a slippery slope... There's a reason our society has been working hard to combat centuries of women's obedience to men (which religion was used as a reason/justification for). I think your initial triggering over those scriptures you read was valid. Just as it is a goal to trust your husband's instincts, you should trust your own as well. The scripture clearly possesses and advocates for a power imbalance of man over woman. If you feel that is triggering, it's probably because it is unfair and unequal. Scripture is important, but let's remember God didn't write the Book.

[@hmmhuh1222]

"Society" has been working hard to combat religious principles as that takes us closer to Hell, Satan's plan to wipe out all righteous so Christ won't have any reason to return and claim what is His. Our flesh is triggered by scripture because our flesh tends toward sin. It might be valid, but that doesn't mean it is the right response. The power imbalance is again a worldly take, as woman are powerful when they are fulfilling their role, as men are powerful when fulfilling their role. God's ways are not our ways!

[@Sallyy150]

It is problematic to tell an orthodox Christian for example that God did not write the book, cause their belief system is based around the literal meaning of the book. But we can agree that individuality as a concept did not exist back then in that universe of beliefs.. Women were secondary characters who should obey and serve well men who in turn should go to war and obey leaders.. all for the unity of the tribe/community serving God, and for this unity a lot of people will be crushed and there is no room for rights or being triggered.

[@lacyjayde]

Yes! Thank you for this wisdom drop!

[@SachiKara28]

I LOVE THIS!! Thank you so much for being obedient to God to share about this. This is countercultural which is needed.

[@qweetdog]

Man, this is the content we need!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@Saskia_B]

This is a very important conversation to have, especially in our current cultural climate where other’s opinions on roles and the concept of independence is constantly shoved in your face. If you are a follower of God, this message is so important. It’s a difficult conversation to have in a public space like KZbin, but very grateful He has chosen you as a vessel for His word. Thanks Maya❤

[@BloomingInMotherhood]

I'm so glad you are discussing this. There's so much freedom in letting your husband lead and supporting him. I feel stress-free and it strengthens and improves our relationship. Also, it lets our husbands know that we trust them and that we know they have our best interests in mind because they love us.

[@kassandrashimotsu1568]

This was so refreshing to hear! I love that you brought it back to being silent and making sure you're in prayer and reading the word. I've been a Christian for over 30 years, and have recently realized how much I've looked to my own self-righteousness and being justified by the approval and opinions of others. It's been freeing to give up that control (and the pressure of having to be "right"), and instead, realizing more and more the depths of the sin in my own heart, and allowing the fact that Jesus is patient and loves me through that, to guide me in loving others without fear of making mistakes. His Spirit is able to give us wisdom for the moment, whether that's being silent or speaking up, and I hope we can keep our hearts soft to His leading. Thank you, Maya. I'm excited for you in this journey!

[@kekeliahiable6775]

Amen, Sis 🙏🏾

[@ncvf7574]

Hi dearest Maya, I'm not sure if you'll be seeing this one message anymore, after having dealt with over 500 previous ones 😅. I came across your channel last year & visit your and you & Max' channel from time to time as there are so many similarities between our lives (and loads of differences too!). I respect your willingness to live life raw, real, out there, BOLD & BRAVE ❤‍🔥, and that you dare to put it all out there. As a fellow believer in Jesus Christ, and a recent married one too :), I watched this video and giirrrrllll, yessss, I get where you're coming from!!! And I can only applaud your courage to dare to put the topic on the table as you wrestle some of the big ones you touch upon in this vid. So why did I decide to write?? I did because as a fellow one on that journey you're describing, and enjoying the fruiiiitsss of peace, rest, increased harmony and moooreeee that come from it as I grow, I've discovered another 'travel companion' on the spiritual journey you're on... it's hiddenness... not secretiveness.. not holding secrets... but also discovering, accepting, and embracing the spiritual reality that some deep and precious things that God does in our lives, especially in the sacredness of marriage, thrive well with some precious, nurturing hiddenness... like a precious baby cocooning in the womb...in Christ we are set free from having to explain, having to BE oit there, having to even share what-so-eveerrrrr... because the deep, precious things thrive well in rest, peace, at times can use some watering 🥰drops of 'silence' 😃😄, and.. what many of us find so hard in this day & age of social media.. hiddennes... being in the cleft of the Rock. So precious sis, may God bless you & Max with the wisdom to know what to put out there... IF to put something out there & when.... Regardless... rooting for you two! He's got ya!!!

[@YoursTrulyKemi]

Love your transparency Maya! I think that our worldly view of obedience can be triggering to a lot of folks, even Christians. But when I think of obedience, I think of women like queen Esther. She was in a position of power and used her influence and strategy to save many lives. She didn’t cower at the threat of death, but stood strong and was obedient to her uncle, who was obedient to God. It’s not just about being silent, but standing firm in knowing that your decisions/actions can restore and bring peace.

[@dmack1628]

There’s a lot here. Truthfully, it was a hard watch but I finished the video before commenting. I’m not sure I understand the layers to your preference or uncertainty about living with a paint color and going through your own motions to arrive at the place where the OG color grew on you and you liked it, and what that has to do with you being “obedient” to your husband. It’s ok for you to not be sure if you like a paint color. It’s ok for him to support you in the search for that process. It’s also ok for you to support his ideas and preferences. I have no idea what that has to do with being woman, man, and ‘obedient.’ The scripture regarding the woman not speaking in church, being silent, and not having authority over a man- no. Religious texts and doctrine has, for centuries contributed to justifying the subjugation of not only women- but other types of people around the world. There is no way to read that scripture *for me* and not be offended as a woman. I’ve enjoyed your channel and content for many years and I can see that you’re learning, growing and sharing with us in real time. Thank you for sharing and being so transparent. I’m interested to see how this journey unfolds for you, but hard disagree with the intended message of this video.

[@hmmhuh1222]

Being offended isn't necessarily a bad thing though, it just means something in you was stirred by what was said. And people using verses to justify their sinful and prideful behavior (abusive men calling for women to "submit", etc) isn't the fault of the Bible, but of humans sinful nature. The Bible tells us that it's truth will turn many away, as it isn't easy or fleshly, it requires initial sacrifice. But it does all make sense and work together for glory!

[@meg-d3024]

I don’t understand the layers of this comment. It’s talking about everything and nothing all at the same time 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂lol I’m so sorry but this comment don’t make sense. Anyway I look forward to see how you grow in the comments 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@KenasDanielle]

Only 26, and single and not looking for anyone, and not because I don't want to. But you hit the nail on being right and fighting people with being right. I feel like I've been quiet and understanding for a lot of people and somehow today I found myself lonely. I actually do enjoy being alone but at times that's heavy weight (not a friend or acquaintances trustworthy enough for me to feel comfortable to reach out, not a lover and my family member already have a lot going on in their life). But I have always felt this desire to be what you called an obedient wife. So right now, despite the fact that I'm not looking for any relationship because I trully feel I'm not ready to offer what I want to offer to a man, I am working on myself and that is standing up for me without being too cold or aggressive as people I've told me. I've become so numb to what people feels because I've had put them first for so long, I still do sometimes. However, because I chose to change, it seems like I'm giving now a presentation of myself that is not (then I end up arguing to prove others even strangers why being me, it's okay), and that scares me because all I desire was never to fight or always be right, but I have to stand up for myself and put some boundaries. All that, without losing what I desire in life whether it's about relationship, family, friendship and regarding my work environment. But I appreciate your input and your video does encourage me to let go even more. I'm working on it!

[@peacheyearth]

Seeing myself in elements of your story! Thank you for sharing. We got this :)

[@kekeliahiable6775]

All the best, Sisters 😀🤗🤗

[@tatyana2957]

9:00 Maya I have the EXACT same PROBLEM! And coming from an immigrant family myself, with parents who fought a lot, and has also had bad romantic (and platonic) experiences, I think we act this way because we aren't used to security. Feeling secure and able to trust that the other person will complete this task or make this decision accurtley (and efficiently imo) gives us the space to relax and let someone else take the reins aka trust. If you've been a hustler and fending for yourself your whole adult life, you've said, then it's really hard to break the habits and put those trust walls down and just be fully taken care of/ fully trust that the other person's got it handled and you can then sit back and kick yo feet up! Just my two cents! ^_^

[@nyahsbeauty]

Thank you Maya. This is never a popular subject amongst the world and it’s current teaching, and I know you are aware of that, but yet you still submitted to this necessary amazing testimony! It brings me joy as someone who has been on this journey with you for a long time to see how you continue to expand your platform especially in acknowledging the Glory of Gods wisdom. Being obedient to God always feel incongruent with what our flesh desires but we are not meant to be a slave to our flesh, but instead find rest in Gods wisdom He will make sense of it all if you choose to dwell with him long enough. Thank you Thank you Thank you 🤍🤍🤍🤍

[@ExtendedStudent4Real]

Yesss!!!! Amen! To the married Christian people with good partners 🙏🏽♥️

[@AlexiusDenelle16]

I am curious as a long time viewer, if I don't quite find myself a follower of God or religious at all-is this going to be a main part of your channel? While I have no issue on what anyone speaks on, because everyone has different mindsets. I'm just curious if this is going to be more of a religious channel and focusing on being a good wife ?

[@rileystein6195]

I don't identify as a Christian and I don't read the Bible. My spiritual beliefs center around Buddhism. What I have learned is meditation helps in various ways. When you take a moment to breathe through whatever is going on and quieting the mind, then you put yourself in a better energy to react to a situation from a state of peace and not anger or anxiety. It's not easy, but over time, you learn how to separate yourself from your emotions and thoughts, which helps you to decide how you really want to react.

[@infinitedreaming222]

Jesus was Buddhist so you’re ahead of the game.

[@ARI-ty7wz]

Please keep this videos coming. I’m not married yet but this was something i needed to hear.I love your transparency!💕💕💕 God bless you

[@Dr.Nellah]

I am a happily submissive wife (also a doctor, businesswoman etc so trust me when I say it’s not my natural temperament) and I promise you silence, submission and obedience to God’s order has SO MUCH BLESSING! We can’t let the world teach and show us how to be. We can be triggered all we want but guess what disobedience does? Leads to so much brokenness. Yes we live in a fallen world and some men have taken advantage of this and have abused their rights but God is good and he is wiser than us and we have to trust him. When your husband follows the Bible also and loves you like the church and then you also practice submission. It’s beautiful. And even if he doesn’t (outside of abuse) the Bible says your character can help to change him. So we have to trust and obey. People won’t get it and it’s triggering but it’s truth. I can honestly say I am in such a happy thriving marriage because of obedience to this.

[@xtinalucia3684]

Great lesson, when this first came out i wasn't there. Im here now, in this season of being ok with being wrong, being right and quiet, listening more, being humble and not needing others to know I am right. Good times, a relief actually.

[@camillelorraine]

I rarely comment on anything but I just felt the need to. I think as independent Christian women, we might have to consider changing our definition of strong. When we think of a strong woman, it’s usually from a worldly perspective, not a biblical one. As I’ve been growing, I find the most strength in being vulnerable, which is usually seen as a weakness, but it’s honestly beautiful and freeing. I think it takes strength to be quiet when you want to pop off lol. I think it takes strength to submit when you’ve been standing on your own. So to me, you are still a strong woman!

[@KissableKeke]

Yaaaaaasssssss Maya!!! God bless your journey girl. I appreciate this message so much. ❤❤😊

[@chrissykeith965]

As a Christian wife I also struggle with different role women have compared to men. I brought this issue to a pastor that I love and he gave a great response. He said God called women to quite so that they have a greater influence on people. People always listen when the quite person says something.

[@manyrubies]

That’s a WORD

[@bribri4275]

Thats so true. People generally hold rarity in high regard. And practically, its very difficult to speak on any or every subject, and those words be true and valuable to others.

[@andreama.817]

I honestly think to know when to shut up and just listen is one of the greatest thing you should master if you want to have good relationships and actually keep them. Always trying to get your way, being loud and unnecessarily stubborn for the smallest things is just so distasteful and unactractive. Being kind, patient, loving and most of all, swollow your pride from time to time, cause life will always teach you lessons, is key.

[@theekongfamily]

Keep speaking Maya! I’m so encouraged by what God is doing in you! Keep being obedient sister!! You are speaking TRUTH!!! DON’T STOP! The Holy Spirit is in you. ❤

[@Ms.sisigirl]

Love that you speaking on this Maya. God's original plan of having the man above the woman as a covering for her and their children's lives makes sense. We are all created equal, men and women, but we've got different roles and responsibilities. when we allow each other to fully exist in the roles God intended us to according to His Word, we can thrive in relationships even if we miss the mark a few times. The joy comes from the fact that if we as Christians understand and remember the grace God so lavishly gives us, we have no choice but to offer that same grace to our partners, children, family members etc. Biblical womanhood is hard to adopt as "modern strong independent women" , but it's truly beautiful to see women like you embrace these concepts knowing you will pass this knowledge down to your daughter as she sees your life as an example. God Bless you Maya and may you continue to grow in the knowledge of our Saviour. ❤

[@thatojessica888]

As long as you’re happy? We’re happy ☺️🥹…. I have been following you for years and your shameless phase inspired me as a creative. Watching this really triggered me because it reminded me of how religion can really suppress your true self in the name of obedience. I was a “born again” married at 21 young gal… after deconstructing the Bible, learning about how it’s used strip us away from our autonomy. I left Christianity. I’m now the independent gal 🤣 Crazy how life works… but I have also come to understand that everyone’s journey is different and different phases in our lives bring out new and exciting parts of ourselves. I would say, with all due respect to you and your family, we need your light and spark in the world and that spark is your authentic self… in your own words “Do you!” Love from a random KZbin follower 🥰

[@tkeyahvaughan1410]

There is a difference between being quiet and being people-pleasing. I am on the quieter side, especially when advocating for myself, which is something I am trying to work on. If you are being quiet to appease others, then that will not work. If you are being quiet to appease God, that is another thing. I like Galatians 1:10 " Am I now seeking human approval, or God's approval? Or am I trying to please people? If I were pleasing people, I would not be a servant of Christ."

[@heyalainanicole]

MAYA. This has been on my heart so so much. God has really been wrestling with me about it. Thank you for touching on this.

[@Miikarrab]

This is great Maya. I want to first thank you for your vulnerability and obedience to God. I am not married, but I have friends who are and they struggle with this. God has been telling them the same thing and they are currently practicing being "better" Godly wives. When you have time, I talk about this on my channel "Women Should Remain Silent". I was TRIGGERED by the same verse. God is doing so much in the Kingdom. Thank you so much again!

[@ONYXPages]

I hope you continue to share your journey as you continue to grow and evolve. Your generosity of spirit shines through. Blessings on your journey. ❤

[@Pattin3n1]

Maya I have followed you since you cut your hair bald. I’m not typically a commenter lol but I wanted to encourage you. Your humility and your light is beautiful. Sis you are shining and the light you carry is costly. I understand the journey. May you continue to be encouraged by woman of faith that can support your growth. You are beautiful inside and out. May you continue to grow towards The Father. May His Legacy continue through your children for generations Sister! May you continue to become the wife God has called you too. I’ve been married as a strong Black woman 🫨🫨🫨 for about 16 years 😂😂😂. My husband sounds like yours. These men are our sanctification . Marriage is work but it’s beautiful as you die daily to your flesh and love to live through the Holy Spirit to serve your husband and others. It is a fulfilling life. Life is better with Jesus and Jesus is better then life ❤❤❤!

[@shamelessmaya]

I receive it 🙏🏾✨ Thank you ✨✨🎉

[@Pattin3n1]

@@shamelessmaya you’re welcome Sister! Blessings to you 🫶🏽❤️

[@hmmhuh1222]

Amen!!!!

[@kristencollins521]

But is this submission or compromise? Supporting each other? That’s just growing in partnership. Submission is submitting to someone’s whims no matter. What if he chooses harm?

[@udochiop]

Lol these comments though… 😅 In the end, the truth will always prevail; no matter how loud the strange ideals of this world try to be. Thank God for what he’s doing in your life Maya… don’t let nothing/body silence you. Keep shining and sharing God’s good work in your life❤😊

[@siobhandupont]

Thank you Maya for speaking on this! Obedience and submission are not curse words! What so many people forget is that God commands husbands to love their wife as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). Back in the day, hearing this message probably would've triggered me, too. However, I'm happy to hear you speak on this because the world is trying to disrupt the natural order and the dynamic that God wants for us. Marriages are meant to be beautiful. They're meant to be strong. It's about balance, not necessarily "equality" the way the world paints it. Thank you again for touching on this and I really appreciate you sharing your experiences as it pertains to your faith. Much love to you and your family ❤

[@jr8694]

This is so amazing to me. God is so amazing. Maya i hope you dont take this the wrong way but i remember years ago i found your channel and i was drawn to your personality but i didnt subscribe or regularly watch your videos because as a Christian back then i felt the channel was promoting a worldy lifestyle and it wouldnt be good for me to entertain as i was trying to live for God. So to see you now saved and so boldly preaching on a subject matter that even some people who have been Christians for many years are reluctant to touch...i just think of the scripture that says "This is the Lord's doing and it is marvelous in our eyes." You are a reminder of something that God has been laying on my heart for some time - many of us who like myself have been Christian for many years and have been lukewarm or not preaching the word like we should better get it together. If we dont do what God called us to do, God will raise up people who we used to look at as the "worldy people" and use them for His kingdom while the so called "church people" get left behind. If it's God’s will, I see you being a leader for women in the body of Christ. I'm so encouraged and inspired by what i see God doing in your life. I could go on and on but i think this phrase will sum it up - To God be the glory!! 🙌🏾

[@Yvanylda]

Huau, i just love this Maya. So much. You are such a blessing. "The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down." Prov. 14 🌹🌷

[@topseekrit]

Silence is actually one of the best negotiation skills I've practiced and have garnered me great results. And having lived with roommates, I've learned that not everything requires a response. There is a lot of power in not being the most vocal one and there's a lot of ease that comes with having a strong leader. There's a time and place for everything though. Women have had to lead in a multitude of ways so that we can enjoy the type of freedoms we have today and I'm grateful for that.

[@itsWanza]

As a firm believer in Christ, I also was triggered by 1 Tim. 2:11 but with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, I was able to understand what He was try to teach me which is silence as well😅. So, I completely get you sis! We really are against ourselves until Christ comes. Was reminded of these verses as I watched this video; Proverbs 17:28 Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; When he closes his lips, he is considered prudent. Proverbs 21:23 He who guards his mouth and his tongue, Guards his soul from troubles. Love your content Maya!! Keep at it! Lots of love ☺❤❤❤❤

[@iscah90]

First of all...we are all growing in our faith. I am so excited that you are using your platform to share where you are in your faith and the journey you have come thru. Let's extend grace as God has and continues to extend it to us.

[@Gurlbyetalli]

Laughing so hard " if anything be quite "LoL great video been practicing this for the last year - been married before this next time ( hoping ) praise God I will be silent Thank u Maya God bless 🙏🏽💃🏾🙏🏽👍🏾💍🙌🏽

[@Mhelinblack]

I got convicted. Thank you. There’s a release. I want to master this as well. I thought I was the only one. And it’s a struggle but the word is the truth it don’t lie, and obedience is the best worship to God that God can smell that it pleasing and it’s good. Im still working on mine and I feel bad that my husband deal with me with that and I want to respect and honor him more. Thank you God, thank you Maya, deliver me to this stronghold I have, and to other women that needs more of you God, in Jesus name, Amen.

[@karshalatoya9640]

I do agree with you, no one wants a contentious wife “Proverbs 21:9”.

[@Victorian9322]

Damn. Religion is about forcing women to submit, be obedient, and be like children to their husbands, who can do whatever. Why go against your personality type and force yourself to be some quiet meek woman?

[@Mi-kf5bc]

THIS.

[@hmmhuh1222]

Where did she say force? The Bible gives instruction and it is our free will to choose to listen or not. Also, the Bible is very hard on men and the majority of the responsibility falls onto men so by no means does the Bible say men can do whatever. They, as individuals, can choose to do whatever, but if they choose sin then there will be consequences. Much of personality is shaped by our upbringing too, which often encourages coping mechanisms which don't ultimately serve us or please God, such as being hyper-independent and out-spoken.

[@Victorian9322]

@@hmmhuh1222 yeah its free will to listen or you get hellfire lol

[@MisssDesiree]

What I love so much about God’s design is that value is not distributed based on order. Your trust in your husband depicts your trust in God who operates through Him and with faith we (wives) are able to go to God with our concerns and questions rather than approaching our husbands in a form of dishonor. He has given man instructions that best serves His family. The Holy Spirit will always guide us in our communication and overall performance as willing vessels. The key is being WILLING to submit and obedient to God as He gives commands and rhema to us. Thank you, Maya. I appreciate you being willing to show the process of growing, evolving and being transformed to become the woman God has created you to be. May there be an overflow of blessings for you and your family as you guys continue to seek the Kingdom. ❤

[@PrettyLilSmile]

Hey Maya! I'm recently married (Oct 2021) and have been learning to "take a step back as well". I recommend Bindi Marc. Her videos speak on biblical marriage roles and might give you more scriptures to reflect on ways to apply that into your life. They've helped me examine myself and understand where I am straying from the bible on some principles.

[@autumncolors1673]

There are a lot of things I'd like to change about myself, but I've come to realize that some traits and triggers are hardwired into our DNA. E.g., we can't make ourselves like a certain food. Introverts can't make themselves like packed parties. Sometimes we are born a certain way and all the practice in the world won't allow us to go against what feels right to us. I'm attempting to genuinely accept how flawed I am. I acknowledge that I would love to be different. I acknowledge that I had no part whatsoever in how I was born. I didn't choose my personality traits from a catalog. They were forced upon me by birth. So the best I can do is change the things are changeable and accept the things that are hardwired. We always talk about self love and not changing our appearances or physical things we don't like. So why isn't that same energy applied to our personalities? Anyway girlie, I sincerely wish you luck in achieving the state of being you desire ❤

[@helixjac2394]

Something my famy told me growing up was "you dont always need to be understood, sometimes you just gotta walk away." As i was listening i heard you, im also an independent woman but i heard him too. Something that really helps me be not quiet but understanding in the moment is taking a step back. Thinking from their perspective. When I can take yourself out of the narrative, thats when i've noticed I become more understanding to not being heard but rather i become more understanding to trusting the other person.

[@pumla5481]

Maya, Love this and Praying for more spiritual growth for all of us...

[@NajeemahB]

I needed this. Thank God for using Maya to speak to a strong woman like me!

[@AllThingsSoul]

A strong woman is one who is living in her masculine energy. I didn't have a clue of how to tap into my feminine energy. I watched a lot of videos on it and I think I learned a thing or two. But it still feels foreign to me. I have to practice it every day. It's a more vulnerable place for me because it requires me to speak what's in my heart instead of guard it. But it really is a more relaxed place to be. I listen to a Christian pastor called R.C. Blakes who gives a lot of insight on how women should interact with their husbands. I would be interested in seeing you dive into this topic so I can learn more about it! It's fascinating to me.

[@ZPerfectDisasterZ]

Honestly this video was God sent. It’s funny because I recently discovered the second half of the curse placed on women in Genesis. Not only will we have pain in child bearing but also we’d struggle for power with men and men will always be our “master” ( KJV). I have been questioning everything I ever believed because I too am I strong, outspoken women. I consider myself a feminist. I argue with men in my life over everything regarding a “woman’s place”….. it’s actually hard to come to terms with the fact that we were created to after… anyway… thanks Maya..

[@sugarwaters]

I think sometimes we as a modern society have very narrow ideas on what submit, obedience, and leadership means. And i don’t even necessarily feel like your story about the paint color is about submitting. It’s about not trying to control everything and letting your partner have some say in things that don’t really matter in the long run. Let go of the neuroticism and embrace the chill.

[@martebooks]

Paul was addressing specific problems in the church in Corinth and where Timothy was pastoring, but I do think it applies today, especially in a culture like ours where women want to equal themselves with men. It's beautiful to acknowledge that we are different, one isn't better than the other but we're different. My arm is not my leg but I sure need both... it's similar.

[@pjtiger10]

Gotta say this is where I get off. Thank for the years of content.

[@kristinfields3598]

I’m so happy for you and proud of you ! Keep leaning into God through his word and I have no doubt that he will continue to lead you in wisdom and giving you joy and satisfaction in him ! Jesus really is the plug and I’m loving seeing a glimpse of your journey unfold!

[@tegalicocious]

The is such a powerful topic! I encourage all the women to read the book The Power of Being a woman and Secrets of an irresistible woman by Michelle McKinney Hammond. They are both powerful books that taught me about resting in my womanhood and being feminine

[@somethintru1]

This is a very necessary conversation! Thank you for your transparency!