Woman Preferences l This Past Weekend Highlight

Andrea calls (again) to ask about what Theo's woman preferences.
Hit the Hotline: [phone]
Watch the full episode here: www.youtube.co....
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Theo Von:
Instagram: / theovon
Twitter: / theovon
Facebook: / theo.von
Reddit: / theovon

[@leahwilson6861]

"i don't want somebody who every other day it feels like Halloween around the house cause they dark art'n" DEEEADDDD lololol

[@youalreadyknow2316]

Leah Wilson LOL

[@omfgitspyrogirl]

guess im not theo's type

[@MackNcD]

@@omfgitspyrogirl lol why would a decent guy want someone inviting demons into the household. Who in their right mind…

[@Emcostanza]

@@MackNcD not believing in god means inviting demons? Lol ok

[@MackNcD]

@@Emcostanza No it’s more energetic. God for an atheist or agnostic would be… ‘good’

[@PappaMustafa]

Theo's brain lives in the 4th dimension.

[@tylizotte]

Yo momma

[@TheDoomWizard]

Facts

[@raewynhaughton1585]

I’m surprised people are surprised by his mind, I relate to him and thoughts so well

[@mfc111]

All our brains live in 4d because the 4th dimension is time and our brains are a collection of everything we have done over time

[@lawliet2263]

He's actually a savant

[@nope5003]

I wouldn’t mind a regular headed woman! The simplicity 😁

[@caseyfrederick9521]

What kind of personality do you like in a girl? ...I like pigtails, I knew this girl who had just one pigtail. I like em with regular heads. I knew this girl with a little head.

[@monicapyle]

I died. One pig tail is called a pony tail, last time I checked lmao

[@willynye202]

@@monicapyle what if it comes out the side of that regular head you feel me, that's that half Wendy's look

[@monicapyle]

@@willynye202 lol a side pony tail. I sported one in the 80's 😁

[@Beanso]

She was an adult. OBVIOUSLY. 😂 man I’m trying not to wake my family up

[@TheJCinator]

How many ideas can she have in this hitter

[@caitlinalyn_comedy]

"And she was an adult! Obviously." Good lord Theo.

[@willmundy1944]

“ I’m afraid to look silly physically “ * grows out a mullet *

[@TolkienStudy]

“That...uh....that shru....That mediocre Sphere.” “I was afraid someone with a tee ball bat was about to roll up...” Dude, I freaking lost it. Hysterical. Preach cuz.

[@youalreadyknow2316]

@Brandon Young “that lil , that lill, that lill “ LOL

[@JackSather]

"I like if a woman likes to play board games in the evening, or the afternoon." so damn wholesome. Onward.

[@shawnmendrek3544]

Better than the club scenes.

[@Nautilus1972]

I only discovered Theo about two weeks ago and I am loving his personality and humor.

[@billybatchelor2863]

Look at There's view on getting the church van.Enjoy

[@fraiser3330]

Me too!

[@michaelludwig120]

So how’s the Theo Von journey been? 😂😎 gang gang

[@kimr2352]

My mother is the hardest working man I know. 😹😹😹😹😹

[@jeffm.c6200]

She's also tall, dark and handsome 😂🤣

[@0pticG4mer]

That small headed girl analogy was hilarious!!!

[@connorjackson2973]

"She got that little cabbage ball" IM CRYING 😂😂😂😂

[@monicapyle]

"I'm ok saying silly things but I'm afraid to look silly". That broke my heart after watching his most embarrassing story video

[@quinnrivers527]

“Hardest workin man I know is my mother.” Damn straight 🙌

[@Leilafart]

Seriously?? I am watching this at work and trying to not bust out laughing. The tiny head chick.. omg STOP IT THEO!!

[@gabrielsilvas7105]

Leila Moss he's the best 😂

[@matrixmelter8619]

Yeah he’s funny

[@1mcdonaldj]

“Do I like em docile? I mean I don’t like em under the influence of quaaludes or anything like that” LOL

[@mugsylogues]

Lookin like half a Wendy's logo, haha, almost sprayed out when I heard that

[@AlexHernandez-ke2nd]

Mugsy Logan lmao

[@justincase5583]

GANG

[@KREMDemiK82]

Andrea from AZ in here trying to get that hitter boy!! Theo might be the funniest solo cast along w/ Burr, Even if he misinterprets the term "docile" which I learned from a fine gentleman who helped me train my dog. Jkjk. Love to all who listen&for call in to TPW! I'm falling into these dark arts BOY!!

[@Beanso]

Man Theo. You kill it. Period. GANG GANG

[@AmericanMoviePodcast]

Beans-o agreed

[@crztna730]

You have no idea how much of a bigger crush I have on you after watching this 😂😂😂 you're amazing Theo!

[@mentalcircuspodcast1254]

Bar-rhett

[@tskcs1083]

Mental Circus Podcast that got me

[@himynameisjc91]

Theo is the absolute euphemism KING, he says the most HILARIOUS shit

[@MackNcD]

Euphemism king? You really think Theo is PC? 😂 Whaaaat???

[@MakeSomething]

Theo, you are killin' it! Oh man!

[@chuckdick877]

I don’t like a girl that you have to take out of the trunk. I dated a girl with a tiny head. Best comic

[@AmericanMoviePodcast]

Charles Spence agreed!

[@colleenann772]

Omg he’s making my cheeks hurt from smiling so much 😂

[@kelly-k-dub]

I can ALWAYS count on a good deep laugh listening to Theo 🤣🤣🤣

[@renee199709]

“Lookin like half a Wendy’s logo” lmfao I’m dyingggggg

[@redhairedgirl77]

quick pause .. i lived in Louisiana from the age of 8 to 13 .. i have NOT heard someone say BARR.ettes like that in such a long time! thank you Theo!!!!!! :)

[@monicapyle]

When she said "docile and quiet" she meant a shy feminine girl and not a loud bossy Tom boy. She didn't mean drugged up lmao. I love this guy

[@foatie]

"how many ideas" 😂😂😂 I'm logging off for a couple days to recover

[@leslieharrison6981]

Expansive, introspective, reflective and always humble…ntm his mastery of the ironic, absurd, sad and hilarity!! Theo always lifts my spirits 💜

[@537ish]

Theo is so hot

[@Eshkanama]

Man, I super relate to him about the whole mother thing. My mom was also the hardest working most persevering person I’ve ever known, let alone being a single mom of 5 children. Her love is boundless, and she always made me happy and got us everything we needed or wanted, Christmas and birthdays were miraculous, my life was amazing. As an adult I appreciate it so much, more than I ever could as a child. And she’s still the happiest woman, been married to my new dad for 17 years, had two more children, owns her own business now, and she inspires me. That’s what I need in a woman. A boss. Not this shit you see on the internet, these women whining and crying about every little thing saying men ain’t shit, but a woman who can bring her swords and guns to the fight always, and will never give up, who’s heart is full of love and optimism. That’s a woman. That’s a beautiful wonderful human. I love you momma, you’re my everything.

[@cockyramono7898]

Hell yeah bro much love ❤

[@botinator2783]

“My mom is the hardest working man I know” -Theodore Capitani von Kurnatowski

[@kylieshaye6562]

I loved reading that. I've learned over the years that you can tell a lot about a man by how he treats his mother. That's always something I tell other women to keep an eye on when dating.

[@Eshkanama]

@@kylieshaye6562 it’s sad when people have crappy moms too… genuinely breaks my heart. My dad was a horrible abusive drug addict, that definitely took a toll on me too. But my mom has always been a savior to me and my siblings. She finally left him after 20 years of trying to make things work and we uprooted ourselves out of California and moved to Missouri, I’ve been here ever since. Best decision she ever made. She still is just the greatest person ever.

[@kylieshaye6562]

@@Eshkanama My dad was super abusive also. I'm so sorry that you went through all that. You sound like a great guy, any girl is lucky to have you. I'm so sorry that you went through all that abuse.

[@rattlenhum269]

"I wouldn't mind more of a regular headed woman"...dam Theo

[@lulumoon6942]

Dated a Theo Von type in high school, remained friends for years! Loved him dearly but worried the wrong woman was going to break his sweet soul ❤️

[@FlintSparkedStudios]

Hahahaha I love that he thinks an atheist would be involved in dark arts.

[@kimcarter9406]

Sometimes I swear he just talks out his ass 😂 but he is so damn funny

[@4healthnjoy]

I'm secretly crushing on you ❤️ your great and I appreciate the laughs and authentic nature you bring to everything. Hope to see you in person some day!

[@docd2295]

So did you ever go out haha?

[@jessepancamo8449]

Damn

[@lucysnorebush964]

That ain't how secrets work, lady.

[@moon-stars-sun]

Theo is a stone cold cutie. I'd buy him a ham sandwich and a coffee.

[@TheCchapa07]

Theo, I hope you find someone as special as you. I loved this!

[@iyaakasha9029]

DUDE, THEO VON, this is some of the funniest shit that I've ever heard in my entire life... Dude, you are a maniac! Fuxing hilarious. Big Up

[@Iunnnooo]

I fucking love this dude.

[@nillathrilla]

"regular headed woman"

[@tryptaminegod3699]

Lol Theo’s response is hilarious

[@DJToneRI]

Damn near everything this man said for 9 minutes straight was side splittingly hilarious

[@Sweetteatn615]

Bah-Rettes! 😂😂😂 It sounds like Theo wouldn't date any poor girls. You can work hard and still not have a lot of money.

[@SamFBM]

im bursting out laughing a 3am

[@notarenee]

Native American women are beautiful.

[@vhscopyofseinfeld]

AshleyRenee89 I once saw a Native American woman in a shop in New Mexico who literally rendered me speechless. I was absolutely frozen in place. Unbelievable beauty. Most beautiful woman I have ever seen BY FAR.

[@audriiiiroberts3030]

James Briscoe but why? Is it because it’s like different lol

[@InfinityGh0st]

“Worries someone’s gonna roll up and knock a double.” 😂😂😂

[@traviskillian276]

Just keep glass'n

[@Le_Petomane]

I like you! Come by later for moose soup.

[@traviskillian276]

T.C.J B Will do mommy.

[@mattklein7658]

PPPPPOFFFTTTTTTTTWWWWWwww

[@johnnie543]

Travis K. Try it out. It's the highest and the tightest, jeans!

[@jessen_0124]

Piss on me. Beat me.

[@honestjohn1129]

I’ve had a couple of really shity days this week but when I watch this guy he never fails to make me smile & laugh. Good on ya Theo

[@shawnmendrek3544]

You got me at the baseball bat joke and the indian bit.

[@DK_Son]

His analogies, metaphors, and similes are fucking.... OFF. THE. CHARTS.

[@cameohenderson]

Diving board. Hanging out. Theo likes me...thanks lol

[@nickhopwood4233]

Sometimes I feel like he just goes on a story telling tirade and it's all made up lol. Partially just for fun

[@1000Bats]

"Dip your shoulders in chocolate and lick it off...with that nervous tongue" good lord theo 💀

[@penrose.]

“Like a diving board that was taking the afternoon off, you know, gangin out”

[@KREMDemiK82]

Can't have those small headed melons on an adult! Cabbage ball boy!! Theo for mayor!

[@alexsunsin]

Mad in love with khelila lmao

[@kimr2352]

You’re fucking hilarious. I can’t.

[@Stooch]

bruh i died at "someone with a t-ball bat"

[@bracksampson1]

Theo got the ladies a thirsty in the comments. Well done

[@oneail89]

Omg ..😂😂😂... She had a small head... I was wondering how many ideas she got up in there 😂😂😂😂😂

[@andreacrews8295]

Hi andrea from Baja California!i. just found you a couple months ago and wow!going on benders watching as much as I can! Tons of great material!would love o see you. Been looking at where your shows are. Going back to the states soon. How can you be single?much love to you!love your faith

[@deez5149]

“My mother was tall dark and handsome” who says shit like that and doesn’t laugh?

[@Leilafart]

Very informative. Notes taken

[@steve7015]

Theo you need a show like Attell's Insomniac.....you would be so great in that format....perfect for your kind of funny.

[@jeremyjordan9066]

Steve yeah he’s so much funnier with people to interact with around him

[@partsunknown1679]

Yes! I used to love That show

[@karleneblaydes3534]

All that beautiful talk and then ending with hunting your own clavicle for some chocolate hits. Damn, I love Theo Von. So real and so down to earth and so fucking funny! ❤️❤️❤️

[@valeniusthekat]

Too cute for your own good 😍

[@Lyonessi]

Theo a broken vending machine out here spitting all these bars.

[@brittneyrave]

Shiiiiit. I'm not all that funny, but I'm funny lookin'. Does that count? 😂

[@stevenhoch1076]

Depends on your hat size, apparently.

[@RandomNessL]

Best part watching his coke habits and or mannerisms manifest with random questions from callers. I appreciate this guy..

[@chrissy_rose8052]

Theo! You’re making me fall in love with youuuu I’m all those BUT I’m more Cali looking 😆

[@danbushnell2752]

Lol the girl calling😂😂😂

[@Whitewavewoman]

Being a stay at home mother is a hard job. And makes a child feel loved enough to be a secure adult.

[@magnusmcarthur311]

Andrea was down bad bruh.

[@nukepizzaa]

"The hardest working man I know is my mother"

[@MeticulousTechTV]

Just like a divin' board that was takin' the afternoon off... LMAO

[@Ty-ml4fe]

“Thinking about being Randy”

[@ccdevall]

Oh my lawd! That little hitter on her neck?! I am dying! Don't be afraid to look silly EVER! If anything, it'll make somebody smile.

[@jackiemuccilli9087]

im in love with this man

[@BigPappaMusk]

That Cabbage Ball Head LMAO

[@davidwomack5982]

Theo,…. There is no greater higher power than Jesus Christ. Nothing else will do ……

[@haveaniceday6886]

I'm in tears. This is fantastic.

[@reluctanth3ro654]

I’m jotting done notes

[@elleblue]

How did pigtails get involved in this 😂😂😂

[@christopher19894]

I've dated a couple women who say they are atheists yet they dabble in the dark arts. I used to think they were confused and didn't realize the contradiction in their beliefs; but as I get older I'm realizing that they knew exactly what they were doing. They believe in God, but they call themselves atheists because they hate him.

[@docd2295]

That’s exactly what Theo is talking about. There’s atheists and there’s atheist. And the real atheists are actually agnostics. The other ones are just dark artists worshipping themselves.

[@cameohenderson]

Regular headed woman. Lmaooooooooooo geez. Side note. I have a normal sized head. I have lots of ideas. Lmaooooooooo

[@colleenshea2293]

We sound perfect for each other (if I was a ton younger). Good luck Theo.

[@smartz565]

God Bless Theo 😂

[@thingswhichcantbesaid5371]

The hardest working man I know is my mother 😂

[@Sam-me5pl]

Those are devil worshipers, not atheists... atheists can be nice, or they can be depressing. I am an atheist in the sense I don't believe in something I like to call god, but I've had experiences meditating, on DMT, LSD, and had revelations that feel sooo real. DMT can turn an atheist into a believer in the spiritual

[@theartofbeingyou9875]

I could totally see this man completely and utterly breaking my heart. The charm, that nose! Successful handsome man alert

[@Balloonatic615]

Sitting here watching your electrocution story and laughing my ass off. "Riding that electricity." 😂 My boyfriend and I "bring you with us" when we blow those Winston's out back. 😂 We're both dark artists (well recovering now!) We wanna hit that hotline one of these days. Love, your biggest fan girl

[@mcurcio8315]

what the hell im dying ''BAR-ette''

[@xydoit2024]

That was so cute "you sound a beautiful little lady" i think she is like me a little bit depressed and you seem to be interesting guy. You are broken and complete on the same time.

[@99EarthAngel]

not the pin top lmaoooo

[@TheMballantyne]

Theo you are simply a top notch man 👌🏽

[@Youn-G84]

Very first celebrity crush i had when i was 5 was Tina Turner......so yeah, you can do the math on that one. 🖤🖤