You Can Lose Joint Custody Because of This One Common Mistake

I've had an experience with a client losing joint custody because of a common mistake I've witnessed.*
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I was just in a continuing legal education seminar and there were a lot of topics and a lot of panels that were presented and one of the things that really struck me was a presentation where the speaker was talking about how a parent who shares joint custody with the other parent had gotten custody taken away from her.
What happened was she started making major decisions about her child without including the other parent in that conversation. As I thought about it I thought you know this is not the first time I've heard about something like this happening.
In fact, it's come up in my practice a lot and it actually just came up last week. I had an interaction with the woman who lived in Arizona and she shares joint custody with a guy and based on what she's saying he's not the best dad. He was not an involved parent doesn't interact with their daughter at all. So she decided that she needed to move because she had more support in another state.
So without asking for permission from the court or without getting the approval of the father she just left. She left the state of Arizona and this is a big problem. I think it's a big deal and I talked to her about it and I said I understand he's not the best dad in your eyes but there's a proper way to try and do this especially when you share joint decision-making with the other parents.
The proper way is to actually talk to that person about what it is that you're thinking of doing whatever it is. Whether it's moving to another state; whether it's moving your child or children to a different school; whether it's to put your children on medication or whether to get your child counseling for some issues that he or she is having. These are major decisions and when you share joint decision-making with the other parents you have to that parent in the conversation. If you don't, you risk really upsetting a judge.
The judge could determine that it is clear to him or her that you cannot co-parent with the other parent and because of that he or she is going to give the other parent sole custody or sole decision making. This has happened and it does happen and I don't want it to happen to you. As much as the other parent may not be involved; as much as they may be a jerk or create conflict you have to try.
I would recommend that you document your attempts at having that conversation. If you can put them in an email or put them in a text message. If you meet with the other parent send an email of recapping your meeting but just make the effort. It’s really important in the eyes of the judge that you make the effort. So if you share joint decision-making talking to other parents if you have sold decision-making over your child I think you should still talk the other parent even though you may have the final say over what ultimately happens on the big issue.
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Wendy Hernandez is a family law attorney in Phoenix, AZ and founder of Command the Courtroom which teaches you how to handle yourself in court and achieve the best outcome when representing yourself in your divorce or child custody case.
Facebook: / commandthecourtroom
Web: www.commandthecourtroom.com
My Law Firm: www.hernandezfirm.com
Please read the disclaimer below:
This video recording is for educational purposes only and should not be considered as the rendering of legal advice. The viewing of this recording does not create an attorney-client relationship. An attorney-client relationship is only formed when you have signed an engagement agreement. We cannot guarantee results. Past results do not guarantee future results. Consult with a licensed attorney for information regarding the specifics of your case. #custody #custodybattle #childcustody #custodyrights #custodycourt #custodycases #custodylawyers

[@jj15511]

Thanks for the video. Great advice. This same exact situation happened to me. I have a 4 yr old child that me and her mother have joint legal custody of. Mom decided to move from MD to NO without my consent. The judge ordered her back to court and gave me sole custody of my daughter and imposed brief jail time as well as a huge fine. Fathers never give up, keep paying child support but fight for your child your opportunity will come.

[@c.1211]

Thanks for that comment. I really needed to hear that from another father. Now I feel that I do have a chance. Its been 9 months that I haven't seen my 2 boys. I will see them. 👍👌😁

[@daisyluana]

Question: what if one parent does not communicate that they have a new partner they are living with. How do we ensure the safety of our child during visitation and protect your rights as a mother?

[@melinamelinapantoja3754]

what if there's no custody agreement no courts files done ..can parent leave state with kids

[@SecretPlace3333]

your videos are amazing....thank you

[@jonchristian5069]

What about if there's only visits for the Dad? If Mom has full custody, she can do anything? With or without permissions from me or the court? This is the law in California, if unmarried, Mom has full custody... It has no bearing on the Dad or whether or not he and the kids are great together... I went from being a full time hands on Dad to getting 12% of their lives... And no decisions ever come my way for consideration/consultation/or just wondering how I feel about this or that... It's not a good position for any decent parent or any child to be in... Three years into it and one more modification hearing to go, and I might get some more time in the summer... The worst part is that I can't really say anything bad about Mom's skills as a Mom... She's great. We both are. We're great with them, just not really all that great with each other... Anyway,

[@MsPompello]

If your ex-wife wants to move out of the state from Arizona to Florida can a judge prevent this from happening? She is getting remarried and her new future husband is moving to Florida from NewYork. Thank you for your time.

[@samcarrs]

This woman is smart!

[@jazzjohnson4297]

I have a schedule for child custody and visitation next month.. my questions is that : Is it going to affect to one parent that it’s not physically healthy has back problem and obese almost 400 lbs in 5”8 hieght?

[@Lyssa77777]

Hello and thanks Wendy, I’m going through this custody case and my ex husband doesn’t coparent or talk to me about my children’s issues or decision that has anything to do with my children. My ex doesn’t talk to me about my childrens need or decision making which you mentioned. It’s stipulate to make joint decision together an d its stated in our divorce to decree. He thinks he has full custody and I still have custody, we have 50-50 and he’s been alienating me from my children for almost a year and brainwashing my children. My ex husband keeps me isolated from my children and tells me some bits of information about my children like changing schools, where they live or medical or medication until the last minute and sometimes. I Find out from the third-party or just accidentally was going out with my kids. My ex-husband thinks he has all the power and decision-making about my children and has told me that several times. I do document everything and I have a lawyer however my case is going nowhere, ugh. My ex husband is a narcissist and I haven’t seen my kids since October but only a couple of them and the other one I saw him back in July I have three kids with this man. He controls if I see him or if I don’t see him it’s on his time his terms and we have a custody agreement that he hasn’t followed for years. My ex husband promises me to see them and he’s getting brainwashed that they don’t have to come with me or they call me and say I don’t want to come to your house or he tells me that he’s giving them a choice to see me. It’s been going on for over a year and the cops have even been involved and they can’t do anything. My children have been call me my first name for years. My children are also abusive towards me and each other. He offers me to see my kids and doesn’t know how to coparent even though it stipulated in our divorce decree he still violated all the time. My ex husband will make arrangements for me to see my children and then he reneges all the time, that’s what narcissist do control control in lie. Thanks for this video

[@honestjaye8229]

If there is joint custody does one parent have to tell the other parent where they live my concern is for my safety I don't know what the other parent is capable of even more now that they have to pay child support I recently found a tracker on my daughter's phone where they were tracking our every move please someone give me some information and help me

[@watertriton]

Obviously he must’ve been part of the kids life if he fought for their custody. A lot of women try to make it impossible for men see the kids after divorce.

[@Noodles12348]

The father off my child move my son from school with oit telling me what can i do my lawyer does not help me

[@karlabernal15]

i have a question because this my case but its a little different. my kids are behind in education and children need help in counseling. so i have had these conversation with that parent but he doesn't want to help he just wants to play games by doing falls police reports cps reports. and months keep passing by and children are effected by this so the advice i get from kids doctors ,counselors, mentors is to put them in school take them to counseling and explain to the judge about the other parent

[@robertstevens913]

He wants something. He probably feels he got shorted in the deal. If what he wants is reasonable .... Give it to him.

[@jonchristian5069]

Follow the advice...

[@21gonza21]

Does joint custody mean no party will pay child support?