You're only as GOOD as your ROUTINES: structure is more important than you think

[@psychacks]

I recently spent a month abroad. While the experience was largely a positive one, as the weeks went by, I didn't feel as well as I did when I was living my boring, little life back home. Almost certainly, this was due to the disruption of my routines, which I typically discharge with mechanical regularity. Nutrition, sleep, exercise, sex, and connection are extremely important for individual psychology. They help to clarify thinking and regulate emotions. Before consulting with a therapist, it might make sense to get these five things on track first. Social Media Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jaO7c62HZ613e7M Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: kzbin.info/door/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXwjoin Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #motivation #success

[@JimWestrich]

I fully agree. HOWEVER, I think such times off like you had in Japan, you could have likewise also used to become more flexible within your structure (e.g. doing calisthenics in a park or practice Judo instead of gym). This, I believe, gives you also back home the opportunity when, for instance, being in a relationship maintaining your routines while still being flexible enough to adapt to your partner, as needed

[@GavinRappOfficial]

I mean the most respectful way - I really enjoy your videos so if I say this over text, it may come across critical it’s not meant to. When you say you couldn’t have done any of those things in Japan, is that an excuse? I’m just asking could you have planned any of that beforehand if it was a priority and it was important enough to you? Perhaps maybe you didn’t think of it? just curious your thought on self accountability when considering something like that again completely no judgment because I’m sure I do the same exact thing

[@Truth-and-freedom365]

I don't know. Personally, I have little structure, schedule, or routine as I am a disabled vet. I have to say I'm quite happy, but I will admit, sometimes I miss my former job and all the responsibilities it entailed. I'm not depressed over it. I do agree with you about therapists being drug dealers, and that is a common question when I see mine or my doctor when I refuse pain medication. Back to the point, I believe that some people require structure and discipline in their lives much like religious people require their deities to tell them how to be good people. Some do better without said guardrails. I was at my best when I was surrounded by chaos and unpredictability. Not just in combat, but after military, I was sent to construction sites that were in chaos to bring order until my back finally gave out for good.

[@Invisibility397]

Let me guess you are lustful searching 😂Try love searching 🎉

[@drecool85]

Some people need the therapist to really help them understand their need to regulate in these areas. Please go get therapy if you need and don’t wait to get it together if you need help!

[@Khan-rz8qi]

Fellas, I can’t stress enough how important it is that you make working on your body a priority. Once you take care of physique, everything else is going to start falling into place. You need that strength, that strength will lead to confidence, and that confidence will lead to self satisfaction. I don’t care how rich or broke you are, make your body and health a priority.💯

[@jim-se5xc]

Where the body goes the mind follows.

[@chucknaussie]

It might seem weird, but my ultimate, most intense and most enjoyable workout is exercising with nunchucks. Been doing it for nearly a decade and it has brought many good things for me. Two simple sticks and a chain between them is such a simple, but versertile piece of equipment that works your whole body

[@jim-se5xc]

Its like a meditation. I knew this guy who spent hours in front of the TV or laptop practicing nunchucks. He was so good. Mesmerising. Said it also calmed him down. @@chucknaussie

[@williamtuite1120]

Excellent piece.

[@flopyman1996]

Can't stress enough how right you are!

[@nissarahamed]

"Support the habits initially, and one day those habits will support you" - - Solid advice.

[@michaelnazar9358]

.

[@broq9194]

Agreed! I'm going to add this quote to my "quotes and wisdom" file that I use to enlighten, encourage, and remind. Nice observation

[@strikingitrich7630]

Agreed.

[@anjunatuna]

I had a boss who I sat next to for 2 years. Every day, she had a post-it note with a checklist of things she wanted to get done that day. I remember how excitedly she'd check off each item throughout the day and once she was done, she'd scrap that post-it and start anew the next day. For the last 6 years I adopted the same practice in the form of journals. Routinely writing things down and checking them off as you do them helps some us stay accountable for our routines. And routines help us prioritize what we need to do to make room for what we want to do.

[@lgude]

I'm an old man - 81 - and realise in retrospect that I do have these good routines. Exercise first thing, then serious reading for an hour, a short meditation period, then a good, largely unprocessed food meal. Then chores and whatever I have set as the main goal for the day. At my age that is usually just one clear cut thing that will make me feel Mission Accomplished. In the evening I go to a monastery and meditate for 1-3 hours. I usually listen to podcasts while I drive on various errands and sometimes on an afternoon walk. What I notice as particularly crucial is the morning exercise of about 30 minutes Yoga type exercise followed by some HITT with weights. That is more important to feeling of well being than that double espresso. The act of noticing what actually makes you feel better or worse is what makes this video special. It's fine to listen to Jordan Peterson tell you to make your bed, but it is even more important to notice how doing so makes you actually feel.

[@foodmonsterweightloss5886]

From one old guy to another . . . Well said.

[@niekelombard4434]

Sage advice The word sage was intended

[@mushrifsaidin]

Serious question, how do you make a living and pay the bills if all you do everyday is running random errands?

[@Anamericanhomestead]

I'm a single dad only parent, business owner, homeschooling two boys and we live off grid. Structure and organization is the life blood of keeping my sanity and getting things done on my farm/homestead. Good video!

[@Smirdantikaliause]

So much respect for you my man! Keep it up

[@Machura-]

Keep it up.

[@mishijes9016]

you are tags

[@castirondude]

Our life is very similar and frankly the routines come kind of automatically because that's the only way you can be efficient. It's annoying if you have to go to town to do something because it blows up your day and you get little else done. Also when you do things that are not routine you slow way way down.

[@Anamericanhomestead]

@@castirondude yeah I hate having to go to town or when people show up unannounced. Throws off the whole day.

[@just_lurking4833]

Never, ever, ever give up your routines for a woman. And I can guarantee she will try to take you away from your routines. Most women only crave comfort and spontaneity and fail to realize that routines, although "boring", created the high quality man they are attracted to.

[@steelearmstrong9616]

Never make any woman your priority ever. No good will come from this and shows how weak, needy and insecure you are as a man. It’s a real off for me when I see my mates do this to their girl. Very cringe

[@forgottenfuryan]

I'm single. Problem solved. Women live life on easy mode.

[@MeidoInHebun]

@@forgottenfuryan For a short time.

[@forgottenfuryan]

@@MeidoInHebun Old women live life on easy mode. Women are a net tax burden.

[@Highlander1432]

So true haha Many women hate structure That's why so many end up fat and out of shape by the time they're 30 (They blame it on kids)

[@Padronfan]

“Your talking to a drug dealer” - this guy went there! And frankly it’s about time that someone in the therapeutic community started saying these things.

[@techtexan2816]

Iv told this to so many people just based on my own personal experience with depression. When I started sticking to a sleep schedule, working out regularly, eating semi healthy-not like a bodybuilder just not eating out everyday. And I had goals i set out to achieve and was progressing towards them. That’s always when I’m happiest in life.

[@moonknight4053]

Same bro, I also do 1000x better when I’m not consuming this kind of content.

[@joedoe27]

Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

[@foodmonsterweightloss5886]

Yup!

[@q0w1e2r3t4y5]

- Lao Tzu (according to the intenet)

[@CollyDoo]

This! 100%

[@charicecheverthesteamologi9548]

👍🏽

[@westlos365]

I’m too fucking high for this, just blew my mind with that quote

[@P9rkour90]

I currently have no routine with no employment. It’s been 5 weeks and on the 5th week it all hit me like a ton of bricks. I have no purpose. Thank you for the boost of confidence.

[@jim-se5xc]

Hit the gym. You'll feel like a million bucks in that first twenty minutes.

[@denisrauch]

I wish you best of luck man so you will quickly get back up on your feet and finde a job and some structure in life. Dont let it drag on for too long because it will only get harder to get back to a structured routine. Even basic tasks will get delayed untill you will have to force yourself to do basic things. Thats why I wish you good luck and strenght brother.

[@Karlitosway5766]

Hello My grandfather used to say: Don't fear routine, routine is a river were life flows Thanks for your videos Good luck

[@rhenriksen]

Reframing structure in a positive light, with the skeleton analogy, is brilliant. Well done!

[@timjustice229]

I’ve never saved and re-listened to any persons videos so much. The content is practical and profound. This stuff just makes sense. Thanks Dr.

[@jimb3093]

I’m retired Army, I did 23 years. A routine life. It was a challenge adjusting but learned new routines. I still do physical fitness, eat pretty much the same breakfast of oatmeal, sleep and wake up the same time. I don’t have to work with a pension and assets but I still struggle at times with purposeful tasks. I’ve traveled, enjoy hobbies but think something is missing. Looking ahead to next year with new goals and projects. I do miss the Army life.

[@marktapley7571]

Yes, serving in Israeli Foreign Legion (U.S. military) must be very rewarding.

[@shaneblack8082]

How many veterans do you see lose their minds then get back into a routine as they get right.

[@aldorodriguez7310]

“Support the habit so the habit can support you” 🔥💎 7:36

[@watamutha]

I came to the same conclusion in my early 30s when I left a job I hated. Felt great for about 3-4 months. Around 6 months I was getting antsy and miserable as I didn't know what to do with my day as everyone else is working and movies, books and video games can only entertain you so much.

[@AlaricsFather-in-Law-em8kz]

A simple practical tip for guys and gals needing some structure: Use the notepad on your phone before going to sleep to make a to-do list. You can write some long term goal(s) under this list as well, to remind you of your purpose. Then tick those boxes the next day, try to do them all. You should set it up chronologically, but you don't have to be overly strict about it. Otherwise even a small mishap will derail you in completing the tasks. I've been doing this day-in and day-out for years and it definitely helps one keep a healthy routine going and consciously adjusting it based on evolving goals and preferences. Here's how it can look like for me at times, as an entrepreneur with a flexible schedule: - get up at a specific time - cold shower - go for a walk, workout - do some work - read a book for an x amount of pages or x amount of time - do more work - pay the bills - clean the house LONGTERM GOAL (you should write it down every time, reinforce the idea in your mind, for example: Get to $10000/m, read 70 books this year etc..

[@drivethruabortion280]

You are a psychopath. No, for real.

[@Samuelburgessofficial]

Bang on. Habits and Routines are everything. Introspection upon this is needed. LOOK at what you do everyday, to understand why you feel the way you do and why you aren't making any progress. Thank you for this, I needed more reassurance in this topic to understand the true importance of it.

[@mickaelmtp2397]

"Seek freedom and become captive of your desires. Seek discipline and find your liberty." Frank Herbert I cannot tell you how much I can relate to your video. I barely go out to restaurants because I enjoy cooking my own meals so much, unless it's a food experience. Exercising is a must as well and learning new skills and concepts is very stimulating to me (the essence of life). A trip to the Bahamas for two weeks doesnt sound in a bit interesting to me. I took me years to creqte those systems but you realise what they bring to you when they are shaken a bit for one reason or another. And most oeople that I know who score low in self confidence, energy levels and ambition don't have any kind of routine in many aspects of theirnlives. Great video.

[@bluetears2]

In 2019 I took an opportunity to take a year off and do some self improvement in the year. I was taking classes, but I was living a very unstructured life. I was doing everything I wanted whenever I wanted and I was having a good time initially, but about six months in, I started to feel aimless even though I wasn’t losing aim, I just started to feel aimless with my day to day, I’ve always thought I hated structure but it turned out I didn’t like it but I still really needed it and it took me getting rid of it to understand, that just cause I didn’t like doesn’t mean it wasn’t helping me. Structure is like veggies, I may not be thrill to eat, but my health will decline without it.

[@jenniferkopp2923]

You’re blessed to have a job you like most people don’t like their jobs

[@forgottenfuryan]

Just start a KZbin channel 😃

[@Quawnn]

I’ve battled with this for so long. Even within my relationship she never understood why I i’m so stuck in my routine and refusing to deviate from it, she doesn’t understand why I say I feel like shit when I do. I knew I wasn’t fucking crazy. I’ve been militant about having a structure as a man and how important it is to us.

[@mickaelmtp2397]

You just described my ex relationship as well. Having a routine and discipline is probably what subconsciously attracted her to you in the first place. If a woman cannot appreciate a man with discipline it says more about her than about you. Do not welcome someone in your life that promotes laziness and isn't interested in personal growth. Keep your habits and structures. They'll pay off.

[@neomacchio4692]

Same experience here with ex wife. She wants to (maybe unconsciously) take you off your path. It’s betatization through a thousand cuts in action! Once she succeeds, she’ll then blame you for not sticking to your routine… and potentially lose all attraction and leave you as well. You need FRAME… and you have to STICK with it. She can either remain in it or, leave. Don’t forget she came into your frame at some point so don’t let her break it and lose all desire and respect for you. For more on Frame see: Frame, a Praxeology by Rian Stone.

[@forgottenfuryan]

Women file 80% of divorces and are a net tax burden. The comments are full of you guys. Women's traditional gender role is a permanent vacation so why should they care?

[@forgottenfuryan]

​@@neomacchio4692 Traditional women benefit from feminist laws and don't lobby for change making them defacto feminists. Those same laws give her things like unconstitutional Affirmative Action and 90% chance of custody. This means that relationships occur within the larger feminine societal framework, making masculine frame a joke compared to what it once was. Fyi marriage, sex and childbirth rates are at all time lows and I'm single at 37.

[@mattelswood9367]

So true. It also means that small , positive tweaks to your routine can yield outsized improvements through compounding 👍🏻

[@robhulson]

This is one of the magical things about Consistency, Frequency, and Duration. Just consistently showing up for anything, even in small ways, _as long as it is consistent and frequent,_ has produced far better progress than the idea that I have to hunker down and perform at a hardcore level all the time.

[@guineapigfarmer6064]

In my experience most of the men I've met that suffer with depression dont take responsibility for there wellbeing. When self responsiblity is key to improving ones life.

[@thespian44]

You’re so right! I have a hard time keeping consistent with a routine because a lack of discipline. My whole life has suffered as a consequence. I needed to hear this.

[@philanders3705]

You're not alone!

[@billyb4790]

I'm not especially brilliant or successful but I feel like if it weren't for my routines I'd be 100x worse off :)

[@billyb4790]

btw check out a book called "Atomic Habits"!

[@barrysmith8920]

@@billyb4790Just bought it !

[@reiniermuntjewerff874]

me too 🙂

[@fluentinoverthinking]

The same happened to me after moving in LA for a year. No more walkability, no friends, no horsebackriding in a field, no forest. Everything is tied to cars. Even though I was glad to visit my brother there and we traveled a lot, I still was extremely homesick and was really glad to come back to Ukraine while everyone kept saying I’m crazy😂

[@FromTheHipp]

i rebuilt all of my routines this year. looking back 6 months to now, ive really transformed all of my habits. i dont eat junk. im not on dating apps. i dont peruse social media. im reading more. i study more. ive been working on a project this entire time. ive been in the gym non stop. can see abs coming in for the first time since high school. its been a process but ive enjoyed it. looking forward to another year of this.

[@ashishsachdeva432]

I always excelled exceptionally well; whenever habits were forced upon me by authority of teachers in boarding school or parents. I always lagged behind, when I had to follow habits on my own. I am 44 years old male and i have seen both phases for decades.

[@AlaricsFather-in-Law-em8kz]

This is why I seldom travel. Travelling is presented as the meaning of life by clever marketers, when in fact you feel like you have the least amount of meaning in life after travelling for a while. Not because the place you call home is necessarily better than the one you're visiting, but because your routine is what gives you meaning. Being a mere observer gets old very quickly. Having said that, almost any place can become home if you're there long enough to create meaningful routines, so actually moving to another place or living there for a few months out of the year can be a good plan.

[@danielj3010]

After 2-3 weeks, I relate to this when away from home. A great vacation lies between 10-15 days.

[@navigatorofthevalley]

I owned 2 businesses and was drowning until I fixed my routines. It doesn't create limitations it creates freedom.

[@sunbimsaraff1263]

Chaos Is Powerful But Yet Unstable . Only Order Can Harness The Infinite Energy from Chaos

[@jthatruth9975]

Yes! I figured this out a couple yrs ago.Success isn't wishful thinking, it's building& cultivating productive behavioral patterns over time that yield positive results.

[@kwint11]

Keep doing these great videos. I've been watching for close to a year now, and I've learned so much. We appreciate you, glad these videos are a part of your routine.

[@neomacchio4692]

This is great… I’ve never much enjoyed vacations. I always felt bored and as you say, after a few days, depressed. I stay very busy working, creating, building and earning. That is my happy place. Some would cast the “workaholic” trope. That’s a cope for those that enjoy being lazy and having zero drive to accomplish. It is very rewarding and fulfilling!! It gives me purpose and gives me a great sense of accomplishment and well being when I make or build something, or make a fat stack of $$!!

[@Freshhsocks]

The timing of this video for me is a wild coincidence! I've been in Thailand for two months on my own. I came with no specific plans and wanted to explore SE Asia since I have never travelled abroad before. First month, I ate and drank my way through Bangkok and Chiang Mai. As soon as I got to Chiang Mai I had this crisis of "what am I even doing here?" I felt mentally slow and could feel myself getting into bad shape. Like you said in this video, not cooking any meals, no connections being made, and no gym to go to. I decided that for the second month of my trip, I would find a Muay Thai gym to train at every day and rent an airbnb next to it instead of hopping around hotels and hostels. The difference it made in how I feel is unbelievable and taught me first hand the lesson you're trying to teach here in this video. I was hesitant to give up the original idea of seeing as much of SE Asia as I could to stay in one place for the rest of the trip. I am so glad I did. I learned a new skill, improved my fitness, made a ton of new friends, and even met a woman who I very well might be in love with 😂 but thats a story for another day. Excellent video Doc! And impeccable timing.

[@TheForgotten__1]

I've sent this brilliant video to my son who is suffering unnecessarily I believe. He isn't broken (which he believes/ reinforced by therapists/drug dealers) his lack of routine and structure is not correct. Thanks Orion 🙏🤙

[@ventureM]

There are way too many people that think there is something wrong with their brain and that's why they are depressed--with the solution being medication--when the reality is they just need to change something about their life that sucks and the depression will get better. It's exactly like Orion said, get rid of the confounding factors first, then if it's not getting better medication should be considered.

[@AdamMattsson-u4l]

Started doing calisthenics as a morning routin a little more than a month ago. Got more energy from that, started meditating. Got more energy from that, so i started doing yoga. I got even more energy from that so now ive started with math as a hobby. Ive never been as content with what I have and how I feel as right now

[@sl4983]

What's calisthenics??

[@stephaniepink7533]

Woooaah!! You hit the nail on the head! I was so overwhelmed by my own mood changes and feeling like a passenger in the driver's seat that I had forgotten the real reason things had been set off balance. Loss. Loss of routine and people with new "strangers" thrown into the mix! I was mad and irritated by the helpful community and personal supports with their VERY strong suggestions of meds. Meds? "Meds! You need meds!!" To which I said, "This is starting to stress me out." But before all that was a HUGE disruption to my life routines, so much so it felt like betrayal and manifested into trauma for more than one person. I felt like a refugee and a hostage and an ugly weed in a garden that wasn't mine. Yet just the other day, week, month, just last year I knew that same garden had been my paradise. And then I watched your videos. Suddenly I saw a path I hadn't noticed before and I believed again. Like I remembered "Oh, yeah! I'm strong enough to get through this!" And I remind myself now, I am not an ugly weed, just an ugly duckling. Establishing new routines will without a doubt transform me into the beautiful swan to be. So thank you for your video! Thank you for the other videos. Take cared!

[@SigmaWarrior1978]

This is exactly how I feel and function. Purpose, routine, discipline and exercise are EVERYTHING.

[@MaxKomes]

6:06 holyyyy cow yes, dude! As an RMHCI, I can truly say you hit the nail on the head here! THIS is a holistic vision of psychotherapy. THIS is what needs to be commonplace therapeutic intervention~

[@jnb3451]

Wow, this is the first time I've heard this perspective on depression coming from a therapist. Well said 👏

[@elvitanatassa7707]

Agree! Routine gives structures and a sense of certainty in the uncertain times.

[@_mark_787]

I read somewhere that a solid routine structure is a common denominator among most successful people because it simplifies daily priorities... . It's an extremely effective solution to tackle our daily lives except fitness, which demands that we change up our diet and fitness routines every 2 weeks or month.

[@JDGxyz-t7c]

GREAT insights. 100% agree. Two weeks max travelling on your won is the magic number.

[@mlester3001]

One thing I have noticed about living in the routines that bring you comfort and place you in the zone, is that time and I mean months and years, seem to pass faster until you eventually realize you are getting old. So be sure you include in your routines those that lead to your most cherished goals. In most peoples lives, these will be quality relationships that are permanent and satisfying. Family comes to mind. Be careful to avoid discounting family relationships as tedious or unworthy of time and effort.

[@h.f.4095]

I fee exactly the same way. When I go away for vacation, I'm always eager for it to end early, so I can get back to my routines. I have months of vacation time that I'm not using. My boss keeps saying use it before you lose it.

[@jerrychubb6168]

Yeah, I can get with this. Years ago I was in deep depression due to going through a divorce, loss of my job and general isolation. It was bad. Poor sleep schedule, poor eating habits, poor hygiene, drawn curtains and the like. I only cleaned up for my limited time with my daughter and occasion in-person gaming (D&D) with my friends. I finally snapped myself out of it and began to get up at a regular time, shower, get dressed, do a couple chores, watch something new and then go to bed at a regular time, read for an hour and then do it again in the morning. Big change in my outlook. Still a struggle now and again, but way better.

[@SuperSaverPlaysSPG]

Yes! Routine is discipline. Discipline is success.

[@brianbachmeier34]

We're all gonna make it brahs

[@JimWestrich]

@Dr. Orion: I fully agree. HOWEVER, I think such times off like you had in Japan, you could have likewise also used to become more flexible within your structure (e.g. doing calisthenics in a park or practice Judo instead of gym). This, I believe, gives you also back home the opportunity when, for instance, being in a relationship maintaining your routines while still being flexible enough to adapt to your partner, as needed

[@DavidBaronStevens]

I agree with this and learnt this lesson when practicing my saxophone, specifically my "long tones", basically one note hold, for 6+ hours per day for over 6 months. It was impossible to accomplish without a strict routine in which I built my life around. It changed me forever I also learnt this lesson when I lost 40lbs in a month from my daily exercise routine. Our bodies are so much more powerful and responsive than we realize, not just for good, but bad as well. We are what we practice. We practice what we do most often.

[@denniscooper281]

Absolutely spot on. I retired at the onset of Covid aged 73. Ever since I have struggled to establish a rewarding routine. My wife of 57 years had her own routine disrupted by my presence full tine after many years. I can truthfully admit to feeling low at times when retirement is supposed to be life's bonus. Thankyou.

[@joncarbone]

Jordan Peterson encourages beginning with making your bed. I was overweight for a few years. Got into a bad routine. Fast forward two years and I'm back in business. Great advice.

[@didicotton3900]

Great word to the wise… I am working to get back to my structured and routine lifestyle and your advice couldn’t be any truer…. THANK YOU!!!

[@benray4fun1]

I agree, structure & routine keeps me focused. This is one reason I don’t like to travel anymore…💯

[@Vitriol-Divergent]

As a T.B.I. survivor who depends on routines to simply function independently I can only completely agree with this message 🤬

[@RobertWinkler25]

I agree with this generally, especially for people who struggle with depression or even just being happy in general. However, as with all things, it varies for different individuals. I know that having stricter routines would make me more productive, and likely healthier especially regarding diet, but having a stricter routine would not make me happier. It wouldn't make me less happy either, especially if it was self-imposed like yours, but it wouldn't make me happier. There have been plenty of studies in the last several years that happiness/well-being/life satisfaction is 30-50% genetic and some people, myself included fortunately, are just naturally happy and content. On top of that, while I'm far from maintaining a regular schedule, I know exercise, getting outdoors, and adequate sleep are essential and so I never let them lapse too badly even when I feel super busy. I think for some super productive individuals like yourself, so much of your happiness is tied up in maintaining that, so that even your vacations feel like a loss. Similarly, making the vacation itself a form of productivity/work, where you feel you have to do things causes stress without the benefit of true achievement/production. This is why I've never liked the "moving around" type vacation, especially on a strict schedule (ironically). I prefer the type where you go to a place and basically stay there for a month or more and just live, take advantage of the different location, the different weather, but no pressure to check boxes or do anything specific at specific times. Theoretically, I could do a "driving around the country in an RV" type vacation if I had no strict timetable either (and good internet) but I would still stay in each place for at least a couple weeks before driving to the next spot and the driving would still get old fast. Just my two cents.

[@alexanderpons9246]

Excellent video Dr. Taraban, love how you landed on depression! You are right about how many of us look at structure but as you mentioned without it we are just a glob that needs a skeleton.

[@Justaguyyakno]

Also, I'd say a precursor is that you have to become more interested in the long term effects of habits, as opposed to the short term bursts of dopamine that come from being spontaneous. Not that you can never be spontaneous, but generally, it should become less interesting to you than doing something consistently and seeing the eventual progress that can only come from time

[@alexandregoulart.terapeuta]

Makes sense. I'll think about this again tomorrow, at this same time of day.

[@siewkimng1085]

This is absolutely true. Intelligence is a force multiplier. But if you are starting as a puddle on the ground. You’ll be getting no where.

[@EagleArrow]

My mother did the same daily routines, even same daily food if home throughout her adult life. She took a daily nap around 3:30 p.m. to 4:30 p.m. as she was usually at a school, town, church or sports meeting or driving 4 children somewhere in the evening after dinner. All the while knitting most of the time at meetings, school or sports events. She is now 87 and in memory care. (Her wishes she saved for it, plus took out insurance.) However, she still gets up at 6:30 p.m. every morning, baths, gets dressed, makes her bed, brushes her teeth, puts her shoes on, combs her hair and heads to bed by 9pm every night to get ready for bed by herself. She is in bed sleeping by 9:45 p.m daily her nurses say. So, our longterm memory of routine stays with us.

[@joehilton9303]

It's just by chance I came across your videos 😮 after one session of hypnotherapy I was no longer intoxic shame. I was no longer a victim of circumstances. After 30 years 😢 I found the only therapist could see C-PTSD! Imagine training for years and all of those therapists couldn't see it! With the support of the therapist, I don't watch TV, listen to or watch sports. I consciously listen to my thoughts that inspire me to create. My life on my terms. My mindset is pulling toward myself an intangible force. To quote from the Shawshank redemption movie " GET BUSY DYING GET BUSY LIVING, DAMN STRAIGHT!" Thank you so much for your videos and the focus NOW at the moment; ATTENTION AND INTENTION. Kind Regards Joe

[@baselklil8792]

Thank you, this is undoubtedly one of the most exceptional videos I have ever watched! I relocated to Hong Kong from Sweden, where I had established strong and reliable routines. The initial weeks in Hong Kong were truly exhilarating, but this excitement soon gave way to an inexplicable internal discomfort. At first, I struggled to comprehend this feeling, even considering that I might have been overly indulged in Sweden. However, I've come to realize that such feelings are completely normal when you find yourself in a foreign environment without a familiar support system, and with a language barrier adding to the isolation.

[@diantrecreagh3269]

So I know this will never get seen but I just started this sales job and long story short it’s really an opportunity of a lifetime to create a life and generational wealth for my family within a year from a factory job. All they preach about is better habits will change how you think how you talk and overall your entire personality. The person I was before this and am now is not the version of me that would be able to run an office and handle a business otherwise I would’ve already been there. So seeing this come from yet another valuable source of mine kinda tangent from what I’m usually seeing but completely needed because this just reinforced that what they said really is the key to taking my self to the next level and now it’s truly cutthroat everyday to be 2% better version of myself than I was yesterday. Thank you 🙏🏾

[@elainer8288]

I agree 100%. I think it is because without discipline, our mind drowns. Every depressed person is always someone with no discipline. I agree about the "drug dealers" too.

[@Fredjoe5]

It aligns well with the issues that service members and former inmates have when they're "out".

[@andrewpepperoni197]

Just by seeimg the title i know thats exactly what i needed.

[@federicotyrawskyj3116]

We are what we do, and we do what we are

[@jakelesnake4927]

The context is very important. I used to run a business, which has a sort of routine, in that you're working all the time, but I suppose lacked routine in that that work was always changing. I hated it. The stress of the routine destroyed my health, even though I always worked out a lot, did a tonne of yoga and ate well. I just couldn't digest food so ended up chronically constipated and then developed hemorrhoids from hell. I retired very early ten years ago to try to regain my health, and, even if I sometimes have too much time on my hands, I find it very easy to transport myself back to that routine I had and thank my lucky stars I'm now a free spirit. It's pretty obvious that your health is by FAR the most important thing in your life. When you're in serious pain, or you can't take a shxt, nothing's enjoyable. A good routine can help with your health for sure, and perhaps you can't truly understand the blessing of good health until you've suffered prolonged ill-health, but that is really the only thing that matters. If you can maintain that without a routine, I think you're still winning.

[@14inc]

I was listening to this earlier and all I was thinking was "this is so true!!"

[@madhusudan]

Changes to my routine come only occasionally now that I've established something that works day-in-day-out, but it's always about refining towards perfection. I love cruising through a day effortlessly following my habits, each one of which has deep thought and intention underlying it.

[@zomgoose]

I did a fly-in/fly-out job the last 3 years. It was during COVID. All of my routines were completely screwed. I did not realize how much yoga and weightlifting kept my life glued together until I gave up routine. The money was phenomenal but me physical and mental health took a toll.

[@KennethSee]

I actually live in Japan and love it here but find the culture absolutely soul-crushing at times. My apartment is a pigsty, my schedule is a mess, and I struggle to sleep and wake most days. I think you are right. I'm sure if I managed my routine better that my life would start to work out. It's so damn hard though.

[@Antandthegrasshopper]

For the last 3 months, I've been traveling in SEA. For the very same reasons, where ever I went, I booked Airbnb apartment with kitchen, gym and possibly a pool. Cooked my own food. Never deviated from my daily routine. Morning meditation followed by jog in the nearby park. Used the gym in the apartment complex and cooked my own food. Even when I traveled to near by city where there were no facilities, I just did exercise on the mat. You need to do a bit more research however, all of this is easily doable.

[@duwaynelangham]

So much trouth in this message, masculine men definitely benefit from accepting this

[@ix-Xafra]

I got a dog a month ago and he has pulled me out of a sedentary noise-dive. I exercise 1000% more and talk to loads of folk out walking the dog. I have a routine now because I live around the dog's needs.

[@kathyquinn3579]

Absolutely agree. Routine is so beneficial.

[@nezra3514]

Routine is not a killer. It is life saver for many.

[@washingtoncountymarylandre3697]

Thanks! Love your content, you are a game changer.

[@psychacks]

Thanks! I really appreciate your support. All the best.

[@Staticprophecy]

I couldn't agree more with this, great topic! I love my happy and healthy routines.

[@aliialhsn]

I really appreciate you shooting your videos with a single shot 🙏🏽👍🏽

[@TysonTheRand]

What great content , always making high quality interesting videos with good insights.

[@rowanessence]

I definitely see the immense value in this. However, cultivating and sticking to those routines is the struggle for me.

[@timstevens3361]

i m a cnc machinist i have to be places doing things at certain times of the day and the week. as long as i go to work n hit my marks so to speak, i have $$$ at the end of the week to buy stuff and $$$ at the end of the month to pay bills. i know i can completely relax within this structure that is my day to day life.

[@wildrich4649]

As a man of routines who likes self-discipline, I totally agree with on this one Orion. I really appreciate that a therapist spreads this reminder of the prevalence of our routines for our mental, emotional and physical well-being. And I find it refreshing that , as Maslow, you put sex in the list of our basic needs, as important as daily sleep, food, exercise, fulfilling work and significant connections. That one the ladies need to acknowledge and put in motion. Thanks for your contribution for a better life through ... ! 😁

[@forgottenfuryan]

P0rn > 60% single mother rate

[@Chisscaso]

Thanks for steadily blessing us with new analogies Doc. We do not take it for granted.

[@aldorodriguez7310]

The way you logically broke it down is so pragmatist. I resonate with male psychologists like you. Thanks.

[@chrisn.6477]

This is one of the many important lessons that you don’t truly learn and fully understand until you experience it yourself - think of all the people who retire and then die shortly thereafter, or just get miserable and depressed and feel like life is meaningless - hell, many people end up going back to work far more hours than they need to - just for something to do. Unless you have hobbies and routines to replace the time, routine, and fulfillment you got from work… then man, seems like misery is pretty much guaranteed.

[@aldorodriguez7310]

Consistent repetitions is the foundation of habit building. Habit building automates activities and liberates mental resources for creative thinking.

[@stinsonboyz2]

Man...I felt like I needed to hear this more than I think I needed to hear this

[@cosmodrifter]

Thank you, Orion, you always bring about deep insights and helpful advice for both men and women. It's refreshing to hear these unfiltered, non-woke and interesting topics and your delivery is always spot-on 😊

[@HMuny55]

This message is absolutely on point.

[@seanyshepfit]

So glad that you went on Fresh and Fit. That's how I discovered your channel. I mean this with the utmost respect, you're the only therapist I actually take seriously

[@xtomvideo]

I agree, good video. Structure and routine can seem boring and easy to underestimate especially when younger.

[@tommiller7177]

I started packing my lunch in high school. Simple everyday routine that results in a healthy lunch. Which means I go to the grocery store often, . I eat healthy , so my energy is up. Which makes my day go better.

[@ty-le5lv]

Thanks Doc. Recently found your channel. I have been binge watching all of them. Excellent content, and i really appreciate the generosity of your advice.

[@TM-tw1py]

Awesome content here. What a simple solution of a successful life. Wake and sleep early to be well rested, get to work early for a long productive day, adopt other good habits for health, work/business, finance, relationships, etc... Have great habits and have a great life.