You wearing another woman's hair texture is destroying your daughter's self-esteem 😔

[@LisePlansandJournals]

The hoops we feel the need to jump through to look like women who just get up and go, is whats most upsetting about pedestalizing them. We spend the most time, the most money, the most effort, and miss out on life whilst they just get up and go and their hair is last on the list of worries of life. They dont freak out about the weather, they dont run from pools or the ocean. And no, natural hair is not 'difficult' nor time consuming either, not if you dont want it to be.

[@healwithmare]

Thank you for this comment. It resonates so I pinned it. I am truly carefree when it comes to my hair. I don’t bend over backwards and I don’t spend much time on it day to day. If I am crunched for time I throw my hair in a puff (similar to how other races of women throw their hair into a pony tail). I don’t think I need to look like “that girl” anymore, I just want to look like myself. And funny enough, I am glowing like never before simply by just being effortlessly who God created me to be. I am prettier now than I have ever been. I pray more Black women start to wake up. aA lot of them are truly under a spell and don’t even know it yet.

[@healwithmare]

If you’ve been following me for a while you know I became a mom to a little girl in 2023. My daughter is only 21 months old and she is very aware of how I treat my hair and hers. When I was still wearing wigs during the early months of her life, she would give me the bombastic side eye 😒. The minute I saw her judging my wig, was the minute I knew I needed to start taking loving my God-given hair seriously. I threw out all my wigs and started this journey as God commanded me to. We really need to stop dismissing the impact our low self-esteem has on our daughters. You have authority to start loving ALL of you today. I pray this video touches who it needs to ❤🙏🏾

[@4blikeme165]

I don’t care what anyone says. Young Black girls struggle with self esteem because of the insecurities of Black women. Yet so many Black women still choose to “invest in texturism” as you so brilliantly put it in one of your last vids. How will a little girl love her hair if the grown women around her struggle to?! Thnx for another thoughtful video Mare 💛💛💛

[@healwithmare]

We definitely have a long way to go as Black women. Taking accountability is the first step. Thank you for engaging with my content 💗🙌🏾

[@TaylorSymone]

This is so true. Growing up my mom NEVER wore any wigs. Or hid her hair. I can honestly say it shaped my perception of my own hair. I’ve never worn a wig in my whole life. Not talking down or shaming women who do wear wigs. Just saying what a mom does with her natural hair definitely affects how their daughter will feel about their own. Hiding the features that God blessed you with shows a certain message.

[@healwithmare]

You are absolutely right. It’s so nice that you had such an empowering image to look up to. My mom would get a jheri curl and gave me a Jheri curl when I was pretty young. She and I had the same hairstyle for years but it was a chemical process that I despised. When I went natural in 2010, it encouraged my mom to go natural. When my mom passed in 2023, she was still natural and so gorgeous in her God given beauty. I am convinced that deep down we all want to be free to embrace the beauty that God has blessed us with. I know things will get better 🙏🏾💗

[@coffeewednesday553]

@@TaylorSymone same. My mum never wore a wig or weave. She wore braids once or twice which she did herself in the typical Nigerian style. I have so much confidence wearing my own hair all the time everywhere.

[@1love847]

Hot Topic! Bring on the facts!!!! 100 agree this behaviour creates generational curses.

[@healwithmare]

The generational curses will only break when we take responsibility for breaking them. But too many Black women enjoy borrowing the hair of another woman in order to feel beautiful. Hopefully more women wake up to how absurd it is 🙏🏾

[@angelac2228]

So true!

[@4blikeme165]

💯 💯 💯

[@healwithmare]

The truth shall set us free 🙏🏾💗

[@angelac2228]

@healwithmare My daughter doesn't have a complex of how she looks because I don't allow any negative talk about natural hair in my house. She sees me with my natural hair, and if I do add extensions they blend with my hair.

[@DivestedWoman]

Thank you for making these videos. I love that you respect your daughter enough to want to be a good role model of self love to her 💕. I am not gassing up nonblack women by covering my hair with theirs. Its definitely a mental illness. You look effortlessly beautiful btw ❤.

[@healwithmare]

I believe that it is so important that I overcome my own insecurities so my daughter doesn’t have to go through her life playing small and feeling inferior to others. God made no mistakes with any race of people. We aren’t worse or better than anyone and that’s just a fact that I want her to internalize and embrace. I don’t ever want her to think another girl/woman is better than her. Thank you so much for the compliment 🥰

[@Dagai18]

Thank you for touching on the topic of self esteem in Black girls. Very important 🙌🏿

[@healwithmare]

It’s our job to teach the next generation to love themselves! 🥰🙏🏾

[@LisePlansandJournals]

I think we also have to lay some of the blame on the generations before us. Aunty, granny, mom, etc. The idea that a relaxer, even, is 'coming of age' started somewhere.

[@stephaniem2951]

Yes-on top of many black girls having a relaxer or perm put in their hair from young with no knowledge about it and continuing the practice as they get older; with the believe that our hair needs to be "tamed" has been the driving force of all this (luckily my mom never put a perm/relaxer in my hair).

[@healwithmare]

You're absolutely right. We need to break the cycle of self-hate and begin loving ourselves and our God-given beauty from the very start. Now it is up to us to make the choice to accept exactly how we look🙏🏾💗

[@MikeBen]

Mare I can't thank you enough for making these videos. As a guy, I try to stay out of this conversation because it's not my place to tell anyone what to do with their hair, but as someone who doesn't have kids and wants to be married and have kids, this is always something I couldn't get past, and for a while I thought I was crazy for thinking like this because the opposite is so normalized. I always thought, "If my future wife has hair that isn't her natural texture, what message is she sending to our daughter? That she has to put chemicals in her hair or wear a different hair texture to feel good about herself?" It never sat well with my spirit. I watch you just for reassurance that there are women out here with a mentality like this, and I hope to find one. Again, not hating on women that want to do other things with their hair, just a personal preference thing for me. Thanks again, and also, everything that you say about natural hair and how it affects the guys that you attract is true. I'm not even the dude that walks around approaching randomly, but whenever I see a woman with her natural hair, I approach. That's a personal rule of mine, even if it's just to give her a compliment. Please continue with what you're doing. It's God's work!

[@healwithmare]

Thank you for the compliment, and for your honesty about how your thoughts on natural hair affect your dating choices. It is truly refreshing to hear this type of genuine perspective. I have also heard from other men that they feel very similar to you and it makes complete sense. I know there are plenty women who say wearing a wig is a styling choice, but far too many women will wear a wig instead of their hair a majority of the time. I am done coddling women and their insecurities. We have the authority to take back our beauty, and break the generational curses. That is what my channel is all about. God bless you ❤

[@WilliamsPinch]

Preach Mare! I’m seeing moms proudly gluing lace on their teens, how do we not see the negative conditioning.

[@healwithmare]

It’s so negative and truly embarrassing. I don’t want to associate with that type of negativity

[@alexandriarcollins]

This NEEDS to be said. Glad ur touching on this. God bless💕

[@healwithmare]

Yesss. I felt compelled to discuss this as a new mom to a little girl 💗

[@alexandriarcollins]

@@healwithmareAs you should💕💕

[@ms.a806]

Great video,sis. I just started embracing my natural hair after decades. I pray that one day, Lord willing, I am blessed with a daughter she will see me her mom wearing her natural hair and think I am beautiful.

[@healwithmare]

It's truly a journey of self-love and self-acceptance. I’ve been natural since 2010 and started loving my hair in the middle of 2024. I decided that I was too old to be stressing myself out only to try to look like someone I am not. Being myself is effortless and I am so much more attractive because I am surrendering to Gods will. Thank you for sharing. 💗

[@BraveOne7]

This, it destroys son’s self esteem too! My daughter and son both look at me crazy when I put a wig. It breaks my heart when I think about the state of confusion written all on their little faces. I get the same ick feeling when I see old pictures of myself especially when I have my children in the picture with me.😢 I’m excited to get married, in my natural hair and see those photos with my children in the future. Speaking on that jezebel spirit, it would to come out when I wore wigs too. You can’t tell me that something ain’t adding up and I won’t be fooled no longer! I went to church for the first time in along while in my natural hair. Not one black person in site all, white people but I had no feeling of hiding my hair or myself! I just brought different state of beauty and diversity to the mix. 😌💎🙏🏽

[@healwithmare]

You are absolutely correct! I have a video on my channel where I talk about hair dysmorphias impact on Black boys: kzbin.info/www/bejne/n3OkcnqVd5yXmqcsi=51H89I56PG3JRNmy The Jezebel spirit is real and it had a hold on me. When I look at the culture in the media when it pertains to Black women, all I see is oversexualization and debauchery. I don’t want to associate with any of that and I don’t want my daughter looking up to those type of women. As a Christian, I am crystal clear about who I am now. No more confusion! Thank you so much for your comment. Your children are so blessed to have you 🙏🏾🥹💕

[@BraveOne7]

@ thankyou, for another awesome video and your children are blessed to have you as well!💕🙏🏽

[@SaharaKnows]

The coming of age back in the day used to be relaxers and now it’s weaves and sew ins. At least with relaxers it was your own hair. Now it’s these crazy looking shiny wigs.

[@healwithmare]

It’s just so wild how our “coming of age” is us shape shifting into something that isn’t ourselves. Relaxers were horrible too and dangerous. Why not enhance our natural beauty by caring for our God-given hair and allowing it to thrive? Meanwhile our hair breaks off with all the manipulating we do. I’m 14 years natural and my hair has struggled because I’ve been abusing it in order to get likes on instagram and feel cute/compete with other women. What a mess 🤦🏾‍♀️. Those things don’t matter and I’m thankful I realized that finally. I looked crazy in wigs and I truly cringe looking at the old pics I used to think I was such a “baddie” in. Thank God for growth 💗

[@GiannaBalliet]

I love the change in the environment of the videos you've been doing lately! I don't know. Even the change of today's background is nice lol. Somethin a lil different. I'm thinking about doing fulani braids on my natural hair since seeing your recent videos of wearing this style. Your hair looks amazing by the way!! I was wondering how long you've had your braids in and how long you plan to have them in for. I feel like I already know the answer, but have you washed your hair while in the braids or no? If so, do you have any tips on how to avoid frizz at the front area of the style?

[@healwithmare]

I’m happy to hear that my content is inspiring you to explore styles on your own natural hair! I have had my braids in for a week and took them out to install another style while I was in Ghana. I don’t wash my hair when it's in braids because I find that it helps to keep the braids nice and neat, but I did go swimming. I shampooed and conditioned my hair once I took the cornrows out, then I went to the salon to get mini braids installed. I typically wash my hair when it’s in mini braids because I like the frizzy look on mini braids but not so much on cornrows. I do use a lot of oil on the scalp. I would recommend a light oil like jojoba or grapeseed. Hope this helps 💗

[@GiannaBalliet]

@@healwithmare That helps a lot! Thank you. I've always seen fulani braids done will really long extensions (which is stunning) but it is nice to see the style done on shorter natural hair too!

[@healwithmare]

@ Yes I’ve seen the style mostly on long hair too. I am embracing my hair at every length and loving it 🥰

[@coffeewednesday553]

Ahahahaha church programmes 😂😂😂😂😂 wear your natural air everywhere!!!!! ❤

[@healwithmare]

Yes! We should wear our hair everywhere and all of the time. I’m done pretending like my hair is the problem. It’s not 🙌🏾

[@keyahninaylor4974]

❤❤❤❤

[@healwithmare]

💛💛💛💛

[@mac9683]

I live in a big city, I only see latina women rocking their curly hair with confidence. I went to a woman's conference in September and the majority of the attenders were latina's with curly hair. I was the only bw with natural hair. They will rock their hair at all length's and grow it out.

[@healwithmare]

Your experience is so relatable because that’s exactly what I notice when I see women in their natural hair. Latina women with bigger curls don’t hold back wearing their hair naturally. They’ve given themselves permission to just be. They don’t have a dependence on wigs/weaves the way a lot of Black women with tighter coils and zigzags do. I truly just want Black women to get to that place as a collective. I’m so relieved that I’m free. I love being a confident woman wearing my hair and my beauty 🥰🤩🙌🏾

[@coffeewednesday553]

@@healwithmare do you mean Afro Latina women?

[@healwithmare]

@@coffeewednesday553 any Latina with a larger curl (sometimes they identify as Afro Latina but I know a few who do not identify because they look more indigenous).

[@coffeewednesday553]

@@healwithmare our natural hair is sooooooo beautiful. Never forget. Love from the UK/London

[@LethalLemonLime]

This. it's so funny how a lot of women with natural type 4 hair refuse to wear their hair when it's short and they're like oh I have to throw it under a wig or put some braids in. Like why do you have to? And also if you can't handle short hair why did you cut it short? but anyway, I've literally never seen anyone else do that (and obviously I mean as a collective not random individuals here and there) where they cut their hair short and then feel like they need to hide it. They just wear it out while it grows out. Since that's what ALL hair does - it grows!

[@keyahninaylor4974]

Facts ❤❤

[@healwithmare]

Nothing but the truth 🙌🏾

[@LethalLemonLime]

9:40 yo literally they have the most nonsensical excuses. how is it childish because you had natural hair when you were young? when everyone else also has the same hair when they were a kid and wear it when they're an adult. They never claim that they look childish for having the straight natural hair they've always had?

[@healwithmare]

It’s very nonsensical. It is truly a mental condition at this point. There is nothing normal about thinking the hair that grows out of your scalp is childish while trying so desperately to look “good” in someone else’s texture. Very strange. I used to be delusional about it so I know.

[@LaLaVango]

Another banger from Mare ❤

[@rb2546]

It’s true, older women are role models to young black girls. If they appreciate other hair more than theirs that can impact blacks girl self esteem