Your Alarm Clock Should Scare You. Dwayne Perkins - Full Special

Your alarm clock should scare you, or at least thats what Dwayne Perkins thinks in his second full Dry Bar Comedy special. In this full Dry Bar Comedy special Dwayne Perkins breaks down the terrifying sounds your alarm should make to make sure you actually wake up. Whether you're a fan of your phone alarm, hearing athletes talk, or white water rafting, this full Dry Bar Comedy special from Dwayne Perkins is sure to keep you laughing from start to finish.
If you enjoyed this Full Dry Bar Comedy special form Dwayne Perkins, be sure to check out the links below for even more Dry Bar Comedians you might enjoy!
Dwayne Perkins First Dry Bar Special
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Orlando Baxter
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Jay Whittaker
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[@elizabethteska6174]

“Who the heck is Tasha?”!!!! “I know you’re diabetic...” I love this guy. He is hilarious!!

[@elizabethteska6174]

Thanks for the recommendation!

[@nyc10021]

@@elizabethteska6174 flixzone is a scam. These posters are bots. Google it. Stay safe.

[@nyc10021]

@@elizabethteska6174 btw, your comment was exactly what I was going to say! ‘Who the heck is Tashsa?” Lol 😂 I was not expecting that.

[@elizabethteska6174]

@Captain James: thanks for the info. And yes, I was not expecting the ‘Tasha’ comment either!

[@jennifergersch9126]

And the dance he does with Tasha.

[@elliottpaine9259]

Funny. I used to have a clock shaped like a bomb. When it went off it sounded like a power plant in Russia with that sensor going off of a red alert and a russian saying ...." are you ready? 3,2,1, WAKE UP!!"

[@krob2346]

I need this

[@kristiecornell5723]

@Tanya Hays Or were in Chernobyl

[@neghiethervil5606]

Woah!! 😂😂 Hyped me up just reading it! Lol!

[@elliottpaine9259]

@@neghiethervil5606 My folks got for me for xmas when i was 12. They put the batteries in before i opened it, and ya guessed it..... it went off in the packaging xmas morning!! they decided i should just open it right then instead of pretending nothing was happening.

[@cadence1070]

Where’d you get that

[@ekdaufin1485]

“The alarm clock was not tryin to be your friend.” 🤣🤣

[@christiangibbs1482]

"You don't lose your temper; you relinquish it." For a professional wiseguy, he is a relly wise guy.

[@anarchobuddhist]

“You’re not married to the beat... you’re not going to let the beat tell you what to do. That’s freedom my friends” 🤣

[@anastefania8759]

=)))

[@kathleenscott6209]

It’s SO true!! 😂🤣😂

[@desosmom1]

Lol I didn't catch it at first .I thought he said "b" . I was confused..

[@D.Antony]

Hilarious!

[@feralkat9370]

Didn't get that bit. Does he mean they have no internal rhythm?

[@FullMoonHowl]

"You don't lose your temper, you relinquish it." Brilliant observation, so true. I really respect and appreciate him saying that.

[@becominghero9754]

Yeah that one actually annoyed me as a physician who's treated mental illness. A lot of behavior is dictated by upbringing, genetics--heck, even what you eat! We don't let people on MAOI psych meds eat cheese for Pete's sake. So much of your life is given to you by a highly scientific grace. If you have control, that's rad. And you should treat yourself as if you do. But you can't treat others like they do, because you aren't their doctor and you don't know if they ever had a control a day of their lives.

[@SaffronSphinx]

OP is my sister and we're both on SSRI's. She meant to the point one can chemically control something, which is this guy's point, because he based it off his own experience. If he couldn't control something, then he would have made the joke a bit different.

[@FullMoonHowl]

@@becominghero9754 please don't misunderstand: I admire the mindfulness of this statement, *within its proper context.* That doesn't mean there aren't legit struggles. Many of them I struggle with personally, which is why I admire it when someone professes that they try to be responsible for how they react. It's in no way intended to shame anyone else.

[@asibelle422]

😂😂 You can tell a lot of them don't know who Suge Knight is lol but he saved it with the "You had me at black dude" comment lmao

[@thewayhobibrokeitdowninhan6083]

Lol true

[@forcedtohaveahandle]

If he’d said Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson instead then they’d probably all get it lol

[@Future-zx9ts]

I would’ve busted up laughing, but all they had were crickets! He really saved it, though. That was hilarious.

[@jennifergersch9126]

He's a great storyteller.

[@coriewilkinson3093]

From what I understand, he wasn't kidding when he said that he doubled the black population of Provo.... You can bet at least half the audience is LDS... I'm from the Ogden area so I dont know Provo well, but I imagine none of them know rap 😂

[@summerjeffries2434]

"Treat everyone like their Suge Knight." 😂 . Amazing

[@brodiethegoaty849]

Dwayne Perkins been putting out QUALITY work for over 10 years. Appreciate him for not selling out.

[@MrYoubrian]

I still use the same clock radio I bought for my first civilian job in Oct. 1989. General Electric still going strong.

[@ohrabbits]

Ì think I got mine in the '70s. The trick is to set it on some station you really hate.

[@doctorlolchicken7478]

That Oakland Raiders vs abused children joke is the best joke I’ve heard all year.

[@slavstaneev3065]

And nobody built the children a new stadium in Vegas 😅😂

[@tamihayes5313]

Me too!!! Who’s got little Timmy? Lol

[@gb.510]

I'm surprised the joke didn't go like a similar way I've heard ending in the abused kid saying "I wanna go home with the raider's, they don't be anybody"

[@hah-no.]

Honest to God.

[@kandicelewis9435]

If you don’t mind vulgar jokes, there’s a comedian named Ali Siddiq and he has this joke about going to prison… “Mexicans got on boots” is all you need to know, the rest will all make sense once you watch it, swear that joke is beyond comprehension funny

[@youatemysandwich1]

Dwayne Perkins just gained a fan. What a wholesome man :)

[@s.akhtarjoomun263]

The last sentence was gold. "you are not married to the beat"

[@jakegriffith3226]

Way to kill a punchline...

[@aeronjarrett5897]

All of it was good but that one made me laugh out loud literally! And then, he didn't over do it. Just let that odd observation simmer and erupt in the audience's mind!

[@MrTPF1]

Dwayne Perkins has one of the funniest deliveries EVER! Hilarious!

[@jmwangi24]

That's our dude, Eliud Kipchoge! 26 miles in under 2 hours. Kenya Hoyeeee!!🥳🥳🤩🤩

[@loveheals6184]

June Mwangi, Sasa? West Africans are proud of him, too!

[@noramkendamunishi6902]

Was he going to visit a cousin?🤣🤣🤣

[@fidelisasunta3974]

Hoyeee

[@lloydsims1573]

True story - a neighbor had repeated late arrivals at his job and was given repeated warnings, leading to a final warning of termination. He bought an alarm clock that had a120 volt outlet (for a coffee maker?) and connected a 120v fire siren. He did wake up, and so did half of his neighbors! hahahaha

[@donnamariedavidson5065]

LMAO!

[@geewms8423]

Apples and oranges. How is this related?

[@Saltine_American]

@@geewms8423 You must’ve gone to the comments before you even watched the video. Either that or you’re a bot 🤖

[@notsure1969]

@@Saltine_American Wow. Great user name 🤣🤣🤣 Even funnier is that the alarm clock joke was his first one too.

[@YoungDymisty]

@@notsure1969 lol wow are you guys cousins 😱 shock shock horror! 😆

[@burkywilson6189]

"I'm from like, crack Brooklyn, not vegan cupcake Brooklyn!!!"

[@bjmarks24]

Hilarious! I love his brand of comedy. It's clean, he keeps the crowd engaged, and he's relatable.

[@alexmccoy8167]

yea 2nd vid ive seen of his. and im now a fan. dudes got skills

[@Koojoe89]

As a comedian I'm always excited to see anything from Dwayne. 😂✊🏿

[@jesusislord2457]

Drink a tall glass of Ice tea before bed time... your bladder will wake up up three hours before your alarm goes off. ☮️💝🙏

[@CausingChaos.]

It depends on whether my body likes me that day

[@studzmalone2550]

Michael 🤣🤣🤣

[@matthewharvey8755]

I drink a cup of hot coffee with loads of sugar in it, does the same thing for me lol... On reserve for those real important dates.

[@Regimeshifts]

and diabetes will also

[@yamatoyazuyuki7049]

I don't like. Ice tea but I do drink A lot of cold water at night that or my foot goes off the cover and the AC touches my foot because I don't like when my feet gets cold because ι eιтнer geт a craмp or мy ĸneeѕ ѕтarтѕ тo нυrт (￣ω￣;) (I'm 19)

[@lw3269]

Yeah, don't flip off folks on the road. Yesterday, dude cut me off. Wanted to give him the finger but just mouthed "WTF ?" at him. Kept going and forgot about it. He must have followed me for about 15 miles while I was going about 80 mph. He came roaring up at about 95 mph and almost ran me off the road. People are crazy.

[@donnamariedavidson5065]

That's scary. I believe you. I've seen people lose their temper on the road and dangerously try to upset the other driver who upset them in the first place. All I was concerned about was just hoping nobody would end up hurt, or even worse, dead. It's not worth it. I decided a long time ago, that if an aggressive driver happens to (all of a sudden) appear anywhere around me, I automatically get out of the way, in a pleasant manner lol! Hey, I'm not about to add fuel to this crazy driver's fire, better to be and stay safe than to end up with said crazy driver coming after you!

[@laurab3876]

Yes, not worth it. So dumb to get upset. This lady got upset because she perceived someone cut her off and followed them, gave them the finger... then her 5 year old son got killed because someone in the other car had a gun and used it. Stupid lady in the first place.

[@antonnym214]

Mississippi! Dwayne, you're not only my hero, you're a national freakin' TREASURE! Do NOT stop! FUNNY!

[@hxhdfjifzirstc894]

I specifically change my ringtones and alarm clock to the least scary tunes possible. There's nothing worse than waking up to a creepy ringtone.

[@MarcyTrivette]

If I don't set my phone's alarm to something loud and startling, then I just end up sleeping through it and the pleasant alarm just ends up being part of a dream. Like he said, I would probably dream about a harp.😂

[@TheLooterArmy]

My alarm sound is the air raid siren from Silent Hill/The Purge. Wakes me up quick everytime, traumatized but ready for the apocalypse!

[@AnnnnnaQ]

Who else searched all of KZbin to find additional material from this super funny comedian!!🤣🤣🤣

[@jaefrmbk2k]

👋🏽😄

[@garthybrookens4839]

I can't get enough of Dwayne Perkin He is super original, he has one of the best deliveries in Comedy and he is Super funny. He needs to do more stand up

[@jewelssylva3738]

Talking about self-control, I have friends who tell me they can't stop cussing. Well, I had a friend who used the F word like a comma. I invited him to church, & after church I introduced him to the pastor & friends during a potluck. The next day I pointed out that he did have control over his speech because he didn't use the F word the whole time. 🤷

[@5jerry1]

~ A coma or a comma?

[@jewelssylva3738]

@@5jerry1 oops. Thanks.

[@brichelbindi6221]

I love this, Thanks With that I say good association improves good habits.

[@wptd2689]

Because he is trying to hard to be cool or something. When there is somebody above him around then he starts acting right? He is fake lol

[@jewelssylva3738]

@@wptd2689 Except he didn't realize it. Human nature.

[@yourmamacita6636]

I can't remember the last time I literally laughed out loud to a comedian.

[@stvrchldofficial]

Do you even have a sense of humor?

[@caprid9937]

He is funny. Always a pleasure to listen to him🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@geewms8423]

I'very always been a fan of good stand-up comedic relief. The ex-police officer is hilarious so is the Indian guy, his name is Russell Peters.

[@theresam6864]

your mamacita, you might like Eric O’Shea on dry bar comedy (Italian guy wearing a red shirt). He is hilarious too.

[@neghiethervil5606]

His punch lines are punchy. So good.

[@notsure1969]

This dude is a riot. "I'm not from this new Brooklyn with the vegan cupcakes." I was dying.

[@gordongraham7]

I love him. His jokes and his delivery are so funny.

[@ryotaarai3816]

I live in NZ, and have tried that white water rafting in Rotorua with the 7 meter drop. Have never rafted and I can't swim to save my life so it was scary as hell, but it was awesome!! 😊 he's right about the black population though, they're as rare as a Kakapo here. So we appreciate the visit!

[@donnamariedavidson5065]

Happy to hear you survived that experience! Lol! No, but really, I think you're brave. I would be too scared to go on a raft, no thanks lol Greetings to you and your loved ones from me and my son from Laughlin, Nevada, USA💖

[@Ka-kai]

Right! I am fish belly white and was in Brooklyn and black people were protective of me and my sister! Two people started to fight and I heard someone tell them *Stop that! You'll scare the white people!*. I loved being watched over so sweetly.

[@CandraEvans20]

I miss seeing this comic on the channel. He's so fun to watch. Would like to see him on a TV series!

[@tamihayes5313]

Exactly... there are a few who have been overdue. Sometimes they won’t play the systems games so they don’t get picked. At the end of the day that’s a good thing!

[@leesteal4458]

@@tamihayes5313 What is the systems game?

[@MsMarple]

You got that right! 😂😅

[@jasminecherry892]

I pick the one that annoys me the most and then adjust so it gets louder every time I hit snooze

[@hxhdfjifzirstc894]

I still have a Sony Dream Machine from 1988 that will wake a dead dog.

[@D.Antony]

Brilliant.

[@TeamCat1128]

This guy is hilarious! Love the marathon reference and the one with the Oakland Raiders. The analogies are Brilliant 🤣

[@padawanrevalak3875]

Glad they brought this guy back!

[@Rajaat99]

He is hilarious.

[@zenamatthews9380]

Me, toooooo!

[@TheSunderland001]

Dwayne Perkins kills it as usual! He should be a household name.

[@michaelberna987]

I used to have that same alarm that his airport buddy had, hahaha. Forgot the name of it, but his impersonation was spot on.

[@IshtoktheDestroyer]

He's my favorite comedian. A true gem among humans. Witty, nice, and truly funny. I want to see him live sometime.

[@Mistermackey]

Our life is front loaded. That was hilarious

[@Defiantly_Joyful]

I watch Dry Bar daily. This guy is one of the best!

[@simplyme7821]

Funniest comedian ever! Hilarious and so smart. I never knew where he was going with it. What a blessing! I was sitting here crying cuz I'm having surgery and I have cancer and God gives me Dwayne! You know you're funny when you can make a crying woman start laughing out loud. Thank you, Dwayne. Sincerely, Carly💙

[@cyoungledesma]

So sweet Carly. And I just said a prayer for your surgery and for healing of the cancer.

[@simplyme7821]

@@cyoungledesma Thank you.😄

[@Th3lite]

Don't cry you are not defeated. It's a set back yes but not defeat. God is in control.

[@simplyme7821]

@@Th3lite I believe that. It's just hard because I became a widow 18 months ago. I miss having my husband's hand to hold. I miss everything about him. God's love has always carried me through. Thank you for your kind words. Carly

[@MarcyTrivette]

@@simplyme7821 I'm so sorry that you are going through this and without your husband. I hope you have a good support system though. I couldn't imagine going through that alone. I'm a cancer survivor myself. I was 8 month pregnant with my 3rd child when I had to have surgery just to get a diagnosis. It was a very scary time and I cried daily. But, by God's grace, I made it through. I've been in remission for 16 years and I have 5 kids now and a granddaughter on the way. Try to stay positive. It helps. God bless!

[@macghawkeye458]

Dwayne is one of the funniest most intelligent comedians in the business today! Love him!

[@sot-daddy8559]

Well done sir. Laughed out loud. Belly laughs.

[@lisafeck1537]

Lord thank you for this man and his humor. I needed this. No doubt he is right when it comes to me, I'm going to remember, I am not married to the beat, and enjoy dancing anyway.

[@Panini529]

Great set! Can't wait for his Netflix special.

[@DramaNerd4ever]

Omg, this video had me belly laughing, tears running down my face!!! Best Dry Bar special in a long time!

[@DanA-re4mr]

One of my new favorites!

[@felinefokus]

Sometimes you come across nice beings and he's 1 of them 💙 blessings to everyone 😇

[@TheHappinessHelper_XO]

I can never get enough of Dwayne Perkins!

[@lillyc.1194]

LOL "one second of butt and you can go back to watching your movie" 🤣

[@quinnbartee2417]

(Gasping for breath from exhaustion) "Who's got little Timmy?!?"

[@paleofemme]

This guys is awesome. More, please!

[@harrisonluke5195]

Hi pretty How are you doing today?

[@status8477]

dwayne actually brought Tom swayer and huckleberry finn into this!!!!!

[@alondob]

That Raiders playoff joke had me choking and in tears 😭

[@leesteal4458]

He was excellent.

[@judyhart7628]

Quite possibly one of the coolest, funniest comedians...Ever!

[@GiftsbyChosen]

Are you still a hero if you choke on a Skittle🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@chmchn]

Plane ride the following day means I'm not sleeping the night before 😂😂

[@larisalynnortiz8979]

I thought I was the only one to whom that happened. 🙄

[@chmchn]

@@larisalynnortiz8979 lol better safe than sorry. I'm so conditioned to do that I couldn't sleep even if I wanted to

[@PapaPepper]

You mean like a flight?

[@chmchn]

@@PapaPepper Yes. A ride on a plane

[@nharris4606]

I will take that a step further and say the night before ANYTHING important I don't sleep the night before. First day of a new job, vacation, plane trip, whatever. It's like my brain is so scared we will miss whatever is coming it just won't shut down.

[@vinauttv7167]

“…and you choke on a Skittle.” 😂😂😂😂😂

[@BigCowProductions]

12:40 This is why this guy is good, where he can add the racial stuff a bit and is still funny/cool. He knows that you're not racist simply cuz you're white

[@eagillum]

As opposed to all those losers who get hung up on their "inequality". Geez. Give it a break already am I right? Making us feel all uncomfortable. White people should be able to just feel politely "out of sorts" about inequality, but never "uncomfortable".

[@sonja1020]

@@eagillum 😂🤣

[@tyronegooch5251]

What?! What a odd but revealing statement. Now I under how cancel culture is a thing and where snowflakes come from. "He knows you're not racist because you're white". He doesn't know anything, it's just a joke. No more than the Mississippi plane joke is just a joke. It's only funny if you accept the premise that people in Mississippi are obese. Which he didn't say but, as a comedian he assumed the audience viewed them as such obese. Otherwise, the joke makes no sense. Amazing statement. Thanks sharing.

[@firmlyplantedcj9962]

Thanks for helping me laugh at myself through your routine! You mean there's a beat?

[@baldwinchelsia9143]

I took so many pictures with strangers in China! I didn't mind but my tour guide did. She literally shooed the people away. 😂

[@mauricemorning]

" I got that surgery in the morning and then I got that wedding" too original. Try to find his CD called she ate my haircut. I bought it from him a long time ago when he came to my hometown. It has some of the stuff from this routine on it but it is non-stop hilarious. He does some great ad-libbing also

[@emilyhuckson2909]

I was so grateful to see him in Sgn recently...such a sweetheart with a magnetic stage presence...laughed long and prospered!!

[@rhyno9798]

The raider bit, lmmfao 😂🤣🤣

[@anonymousadult]

For the first time in a while, I absolutely crying with laughter!!!

[@carmel3613]

"They call them baristas" lol pretty much!! Great show, extremely funny, thank you!!

[@TheFeliciakelley]

“Who is Tasha”?🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@senorbit2868]

As a teetotaler myself,I can totally relate

[@sema6008]

Years ago someone had poltergeist theme as the ringtone. That got everyone on the train including me on the alert and boy my heart raced for a second.

[@lisettegarcia]

Man, it takes a comedic genius to be funny yet not cruel telling jokes about abused kids 🏆🏆🏆

[@cyn.05]

Super good set. Didn’t know him but now I will look for more!

[@146TS]

I've experienced exactly what he's talking about with the crowds on the Shanghai Metro.

[@darrencarter]

HILARIOUS! Dwayne has been crushing for YEARS! So good to see him on Dry Bar

[@caprid9937]

Nice to see you again Dwayne, always get a good laugh with your clean jokes. Would love to see you live.

[@j.bernard752]

I laughed the whole way through. Great set!

[@ruthbrown8503]

I have an alarm clock that literally sounds like a bomb, after 10 seconds I figure it out every morning, but by then I'm pretty much fully awake 🤣

[@flamingpieherman9822]

I had an Old Clock given to me that was from the 60s. That was the loudest Buzz I'd ever heard. But I haven't used to wake up alarm in 25 years. I actually wake up with my own circadian rhythm

[@michelecherek5392]

I WISH I could say the same. I'm a 2nd shift worker (at work as we speak), so I HAVE no circadian rhythm...

[@hxhdfjifzirstc894]

There was a time when I could set a 'mental' alarm clock... for example, think "WAKE UP AT 4:30" and actually wake up at exactly 4:30. Nowadays, I wouldn't trust it, although I did wake up only 10 minutes late when I forgot to set my alarm a few weeks ago.

[@brichelbindi6221]

Same Here Bud, I do have an alarm tho, but for most time, i was up before it rings just to dismiss it before it disturbs my Room mate.

[@natev1956]

Hey, this just got posted! Didn't realize,.. just saw only a few thumbs down on a video, was taken aback yet refreshing...... not that anyone should!....stumbled across this guy, very funny!...really enjoyed his set!

[@mr.g.9685]

5:08 that joke was genius and went over waaaaay too many heads 🤣

[@gag1411]

I soooo like this dude! Dirty comedy with really explicit language is more my style but this guy can roll with the best of them squeaky clean and all 💯🙂

[@JadetheGoober]

“It didn’t break” i burst out laughing that is so accurate

[@dragonslayerteo5756]

This guy is gold man, his last special was hilarious and now I remember where I've seen him, Tosh!

[@sunnyperez1273]

Love the intellectual comedy.

[@flowersafeheart]

Hahaha this was great - especially the Tasha alarm clock + the very last joke about dancing

[@gonnadanceagain]

1st joke had me rolling 😂😂😂

[@TheGuitologist]

Hilarious stuff. Great set.

[@parrell1012]

I can't stop crying laughing. His comedic skills are completely amazing. This show should be aired in any place where people moods are low. It only takes one great comedian to change a life of despair. Awesome

[@wendystrong3827]

Oh my gosh!! Couldn't stop laughing!!

[@marykaiserltd]

One of the greatest. BRAVO!!!

[@mr.brightside6087]

One of my favourite comedian

[@Saltine_American]

I MUST see him live!!! He had me rolling 🤣

[@SayHelloToOblivion]

Omg, I love him. The boxing bit had me rolling. “Is this how you do it?” 🤣

[@paintedpony2935]

"You're not married to the beat" 😅🤣😂 I want to argue, but it is so true.

[@mcseedat]

People should learn from your wisdom Resist the urge to argue for the sake of arguing Full marks to you 10/10

[@patriciachamberlain1135]

Stop. I'm crying here . Can't do that in Mississippi. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Excellent 😊👌

[@ester24966]

Very funny and very true ! Thank you Dwayne Perkins !!!

[@christinabonacossa4919]

One of my favorite comedians of all times.

[@Meine1111]

Hilarious!!!!!!!! And double points for being from Brooklyn, Brooklyn!

[@Chipotlefoos]

Thanks for the upload I love this comedian

[@CowenGittens]

This guy's hilarious.