Your Destiny…

[@bf7592]

I relate to this, here's some stuff I've learned. 1) Defaulting your dream to the biggest thing in the field is kinda dumb. You might not actually want to be a chef, director, author, or run a business. You might be ignoring food researcher, producer, editor, or freelance. The whole reason you're interested in the field is probably because you followed your curiosity there in some regard. What most people do next is turn off their curiosity GPS and just head for the biggest landmark and try to follow "the path to become x" Chances are you'll miss your turn for the reason you actually came there. 2) It doesn't have to be one thing, frankly it probably shouldn't. 3) Projects. Start small and increase scale over time. If you look at the careers of very successful creatives, it's basically all a cascade of projects that over time lay the ground work for bigger stuff to be done. Diligence and hard work and practice are cool and recommended, but finishing shit counts, it gives you a place to contextualize all that diligence, hard work and practice into a tangible. 4) Burn out happens, there are ways to mitigate it, but it's scary as shit initially. You'll wonder why you don't love the thing you love, that maybe you had large parts of your identity based on. Relax, and let it have it's time. If someone asks, it's on the back burner at the moment. Curiosity will spring back up again and take you in a direction you didn't have the context for earlier. But still, it's scary as shit, and none moreso than the first few times when you don't have the experience to have reason to believe it's coming back. 5) Stuff you figure out yourself > advice.

[@cory99998]

#3 is basically survivors bias, which indicates how important it is. Want to know why successful creatives all start small and grow in scope over time? Because the ones that don't never finish anything lol. As a game designer I see this more than not. Spending 5 years on a dream game and learning significantly less than you could have learned in a couple years making 4 or 5 small projects. Being blind to reality for 5 years straight and refusing to develop skills.

[@ravset]

It's a complicate matter, I've been walking that path since I was a teenager. I love music, but was never better than average, the same with drawing and anything else I did in life. At least I was able to understand that maybe I didnt have to be the greatest, average could get me far enough to do what I love and have a decent living at least. It took me my whole 20s to figure out how to balance that, but I was able to do it. I can't say I'm satisfied completely and that the fear is gone, I'm still mid level in my field after 8 years and I often get that feeling that maybe I'm too old already, that when I'm at a higher level it'll be too late, but I keep on moving forward no matter what. That's the price you pay for being a person who's moved by passion, it's never enough, but it's manageable. I live of what I love and that's a big achievment already.

[@rahilmohd8359]

I quit my engineering job and followed my curiosity. Now i am not depending on the actual work. Instead i am focusing on becoming x. My mind is really impatient in this. Maybe I am afraid as dr k said. How to tackle this scenario

[@JamieSTW]

If we collectively agree that the only satisfying (or really even acceptable) life is one of exceptional success and achievement, do we not condemn the majority of all people who have ever existed to a fate of dissatisfaction and inadequacy? This seems ludicrous and cruel to all people, including ourselves, as a premise. By definition, the exceptional life is just that, an exceedingly rare exception. Aspiring to goals and dreams in a healthy and structured way can be wonderful, but I also feel that we would do the world a favour if we acknowledged that fulfilling and enjoyable lives can still exist in the midst of 'mediocrity'. Be kind to yourselves folks.

[@Ardient_]

Thank you!

[@8Photoman_]

I'm not sure that there is any fulfillment in mediocrity, except for the person who is too blind to see their own mediocrity.

[@HoodeloodumGAME]

@@8Photoman_ Seem to be missing the entire point of subjective values and definitions of mediocrity.

[@freddy4603]

@@8Photoman_ that mentality is the exact crux of the situation. Ask yourself, why not? Why can't a person allow themselves to feel good for reaching their own new hights of accomplishments? This is a limitation we put on ourselves. "Comparison is the thief of joy" Of course, I have no idea how to deal with this myself, but hey, there's gotta be a path.

[@LokiHades]

@@8Photoman_ ​ Most of mankind has lived in mediocrity, made families and passed on without making a massive splash in the world. Do you think they didn’t have fulfilling lives? I think there’s fulfillment in the simple things and simple living as long as you are responsible for most of the things that make you independent, and or at least marrying/having kids with someone dependable (for the latter, I don’t decry a housewife or househusband if the arrangement leaves said housespouse happy). Not everyone is born to greatness or has the capacity for it, so unless you want to practice Darwinism on humanity to only draw out the best specimens, I think acceptance of mediocre lives is a given.

[@lukewarmbanana5883]

I want to share an anecdotal experience, back in secondary school I've always failed or gotten lousy results on my history class. I've always felt bad for not being able to raised my grades up, I thought to myself that I will never be able to score on this class. Come the end of my school year, I've essentially as Dr.K said it, resigned myself from trying to get a good grade. I told myself this "Look, I know I'm not going to get the best result and failing this would mean I get held back from entering college so I don't care. What I'm going to do is to study my best and get the best result I can. If I fail so be it, if I succeed then good.". In the end I scored a B, I was glad I'm able to get my grade from a D to a B which was a pass. I thought I was going stay with a mediocre grade or a worse grade but instead of feeling hopeless, I simply lowered my expectation of/for myself and just do what I can in the best of my ability, the result will speak for itself and whatever happens, so be it because I've did my best. You don't have to achieve the best, just put in your best effort.

[@di3486]

I have done this my entire life. Even though I always get A, I never assume I will get an A next time so, I study hard and do my best, assuming I will get a C if I don’t.

[@LeMagnifiquePetiteEspirit]

i relate to this as it happened to me during summer semester. I said fuck it, and tried although my grade was a D and got it up to a B. It felt great

[@nashiffuadkhan9817]

I didnt understand what resigning to ypurself meant until i read your comment. Yeah now i think i will follow what you did. Feeling hopeless doesnt help at all. WIll try to give my best to my ability.

[@NerdishGeekish]

I think this low-key despair at not being the best at something is also a consequence of our globalised society. Before the internet you could be, say, the best singer in your hometown or your church and that would to you feel like you were the best in the world. But now, you might have some above average singing talent and that would be enough to put you at the top of the singing hierarchy in your small town, but then you go on KZbin or Spotify and there's literally thousands and thousands of starving musicians, each one miles above you in terms of skill and talent, so by comparison you become acutely aware of your mediocrity. And the bad part is that it's not just you that now knows how mediocre you are, but everyone else around you too. Mediocrity has become some sort of dirty word in a world where people have a pathological need to stand out from the crowd, to such a degree that it's preferable to be ostensibly bad at something than just being average at it, and I think it's about time we stop obsessing about being the 1% at something and stop treating "average" like an insult.

[@VoidCael]

Some people (especially hipsters) treat average as worse than bad because they enjoy bad stuff ironically by mocking it. Your work is rejected either way.

[@Leonlion0305]

Yeah, the internet makes people almost too aware of their "mediocrity" (actually above than average skills) that it stop people from trying in the first place. Those people might've been at the level of a famous singer or musician in a small town and almost a guarantee sizeable online audience if they can attract a small town. However, because they saw the absolute insanely good artist around the world, they give up and never try in the first place. Internet gave us almost too much clarity that it drives our resignation way too soon. Truth to be told, I don't think people have to be at the top 1% to make a living, especially like KZbin, there's so many mid to large size channels that some of us never know existed but they still have a decent audience. That's just how big the internet and the world is.

[@VoidCael]

@@Leonlion0305 Maybe, but with big tech monopolies prioritizing only the best of the best, it is becoming more difficult for anyone who doesn't already have hundreds of thousands of followers to make a living off of it. It's a little sad to see how many people want to be famous on youtube...

[@Leonlion0305]

@@VoidCael Oh yeah, definitely. It is clear that the actual barrier of entry isn't as simply have a computer and something one wants to do. Beginner need to be more unique and creative in order for them to even have a chance to gain some audience. My point is that even if those who aren't the best of the best can still achieve some level of success.

[@Balloonbot]

Yeah I look at artwork online everyday from artists around the world, and really love seeing all the new creations - but also compare myself daily, multiple times. Its interesting because I look at the "trending" part of that site, and even then there's 100's maybe 1000's of images, but if you look at "latest" most of them are worse than what i can do. I should look at that too more often.

[@Ddddddddddd381]

“When you’re 25 and you haven’t been on a date in 2 years” ok Dr.K you don’t need to go for the throat next time

[@quangnhat5345]

luckily he haven't said "you haven't been on a date for 25 years also", then it would like hit in the ball.

[@Ddddddddddd381]

@@quangnhat5345 tbh if Dr. K kicked me in the balls next video I would not be surprised lol

[@nekokna]

Well i am 36 and never ever went on a date. Guess im ugly, lol

[@SirBojo4]

​@@nekokna I mean, it's not like you have to. Many things and people indicate so but really if you don't value dating much, you don't have to feel ashamed or wrong for that. Do whatever you want, it would just be better to make a choice, recognizing that any trauma or insecurities (like everyone) aren't worth your life and that pre-carved path are a waste even if it seems better because "better people than you" followed them. To go somewhere you didn't expect, make a choice and forget imperatives.

[@Balloonbot]

@@SirBojo4 I don't think people date because they have to - most people aren't a-sexual/a-romantic. Its a genuine human desire.

[@jackbowman7917]

The relevance this video has to my life right now is uncanny. I was literally laying in bed despairing over the thought that I'd never get to become a good writer bc I'm 25 and haven't put any effort into developing my talents whatsoever. Now I guess I just need to work on addressing those fears.

[@gijane2cantwaittoseeyou203]

Writing will lead you nowhere nowadays. People don't read books anymore no matter how good they are.

[@royconestoga7326]

@@gijane2cantwaittoseeyou203 That is far from the truth.

[@throwaway9347]

@@gijane2cantwaittoseeyou203 case and point, you can't even read your own comment before you hit reply.

[@jcrosenkreuz5213]

Lots of people read, I'm reading youtube comments right now

[@zach_zach5898]

@@gijane2cantwaittoseeyou203 People read a lot, but there is an overabundance of literature that you can filter through. Making it as a writer is very improbable, but not impossible. It's a hobby until then.

[@CapProGames]

A wise man once said, "you don't need to achieve great things to live a great life".

[@Kirithキリス]

I love it when flattering and reassuring Mama K shows up.

[@camronchlarson3767]

ME TOO 😂

[@NoyumiAo]

I replayed Mama K 😂😂😂

[@vulcanhumor]

I wonder how much of this struggle is rooted in/exacerbated by individualistic culture. Particularly in the West, we place high value on individual achievement and uniqueness, so if someone isn't "special" or "exceptional" in some way we consider them a failure as a person. In an individualistic culture, mediocre is the worst thing you can be...even if you're above average but not "the best" it's still considered a flaw. I agree with Dr. K though about how it's not true that only the people who are "the best" at something succeed at it. This is rooted in meritocratic thinking, which while nice in theory isn't actually how the world works. People who are exceptionally skilled at something might struggle to find opportunity, recognition, or a stable income, and people who who are simply adequate at something (and possibly not even that) may find all of those things due to other factors...often personal connections, economic/social privilege, charisma, greater ambition etc. Also, it's important to consider how exactly success is defined, who is defining it and why. Because there are many different kinds of success, and often many paths leading to the same type of success.

[@soccom8341576]

Collectivism can be even more meritocratic and anti-mediocrity than anything people in the West can imagine. The concept of competitive, relative advantages is generally superior to that of absolute advantages, absolute ideals and the subsequent mediocrity problem, for most people. If you have your niche and position, you are already the most suitable at the position. Suitability, not best/worst, leads to sustainable living.

[@di3486]

@@soccom8341576 Any barely intelligent person knows that collectivism is a larger catastrophe, however, the narcissism that prevails in individualistic countries is also the reason so many people has unrealistic expectations of life. Instead of enjoying the path and being happy working hard towards their goals by feeling useful instead of “successful” is that they are miserable and no amount of success will be ever enough.

[@mhfun3042]

damn that hits hard. As a creative myself, I have a lot of self doubt all the time. This vid is just the encouragement I need. Thanks a lot.

[@devonnogoogle3592]

What do you do for yout creativity?

[@Aeiouaaaaaaaaa]

I was thinking the same thing (also hi fellow creative). I’m scared that I’ll fail at achieving the my creative goals, but I concluded about a year ago that I’m even more terrified of choosing to spend my life doing something I hate. So my initial fear of failure seems comparatively small. But the video reminded me to pursue my goals because I care, not because I’m afraid of what might happen if I don’t. Also, I hope you reach your creative goals!

[@cory99998]

@@Aeiouaaaaaaaaa Yes, this. I'm terrified of hitting 40 and realizing I didn't give it a proper shot. And then at 60 I'll facepalm at resigning the last 20 years. At 85 on my deathbed I'll realize how meaningless everything ultimately is and that I should have just taken risks and pursued the things I wanted to. The fears I have today will be completely inconsequential to old man me. And yet I still get right up to the point of releasing something and then backing off because it feels hopeless, totally dominated by my fear. Resigning myself to failure feels like the only way to put anything out, and that causes you to not actually give it your all which absolutely reflects on your work.

[@shinkuro6331]

@@cory99998 for me, it's a matter of perfectionism. I've been on a journey of self-improvement and if there's one thing I've perfected, it's the theory of what I need to do (which I've confirmed with a few successful attempts of action). It's simple: you learn when you experience discomfort (neuroplasticity is in effect when you're stressed); action leads to experience, experience leads to insight and iteration, which leads to self-efficacy, which ups your skillset. As a creative myself, I know what it's like. I'm in the process of changing my life and I've got the right paradigms, but it takes consistent effort and self-love. The only comparison that matters is: "Am I a better man than I was yesterday?" Everyone has their own world to tackle. Live as though we're all a single growing organism, and you'll find your happy role in this world. I wish you courage to be grasp what you may be too afraid to.

[@cory99998]

@@shinkuro6331 Thank you, I feel like I'm in the right place with my life to hear this and kinda understand it. I've been meditating a lot and am emotionally starting to feel that we're all small fish in a big pond and that thats comforting more than anything. Yes, discomfort is so important and I'm *so bad* at pushing through. Its when my ego is screaming at me that I'm not enough and it wont work and just piling on reason after reason why my work isn't good enough. I haven't released a project in 3 years now despite working at it full time on a so far 6-7 year journey and I'm immensely more talented now than I was 3 years ago, and yet I feel like I'm 5x worse at what I do than how I felt back then. It defies all logic lol. My friends are continuously convincing me to push through and I thank them for that, I'm going to try my best to finish things I've started and keep pushing forward through the discomfort so that I can grow.

[@lilijagaming]

Hello story of my life. Fear always has been my prime emotion. The fear comes mostly from my father putting it into my head. But at the same time he also had expectations that I should achieve stuff (but ofc stuff he deems success). Well... I was not ment for the route everyone else took and my mind rebelled really hard. I've finally decided to move slowly against that fear and finally follow my dream instead of the safe route. It's very slowly because I am very fearful. But I am moving. It might be years until I get any visible effects of my new path. But I know that if I don't try that path I will suffocade at the place in life I got stuck in.

[@gijane2cantwaittoseeyou203]

Yep. Fail and fail fast. In five years, you will be happy to have taken the right path for yourself despite other people advice.

[@Jasonymn]

I feel that - I recently learned everything I do in life is motivated by fear. About your point about moving slowly, one of my favorite sayings is “Be not afraid of going slowly; be afraid only of standing still.” That always made me feel better about being in the same boat. I hope it helps you too. You got this.

[@vladtheimpaler7375]

If you’re saying you don’t know if you can be successful because you’re a creative type then you’re missing the point of being an artist. An artist isn’t someone who is trying to be “the best” or competing with anyone at all. They are ruthlessly expressing themselves and what is right to them. The reason the most successful artists you know became successful was because they created what they wanted to independent of what people thought about it and what they could get out of it. If you really are a creative, then you need to have the mindset that you’re going to make what you want to make no matter what the consequences are. That’s how good art is made.

[@lerinowoade1437]

This, get an engineering job and feed the cash into your creative projects

[@devonnogoogle3592]

This is an underrated comment, your basically on point with what's a major problem with artists or creative people's is that now in this modern day. Tons of artists are now doing this for money or monetization and then lose their creativity when following trends on social media for art so they can be featured or popular. I'm glad I learned my lesson about this early on and I'm able to draw whatever I want with no worrys like with how many likes a drawing gets or is it a trending idea. Now thinking about it while writing this is maybe why alot of people have "art blocks" because they lost their creativity because of these issues because they want to Do something other then trends or what's liked the most.

[@kateginger]

I mean some of the most famous astists were unsuccessful and poor while they were alive. So historically speaking I always got the impression that they loved art and expression and they were not trying to be the 1%.

[@TimothyZhou0]

True! Even J.S. Bach lived in poverty and was forgotten for hundreds of years before Mendelssohn revived his music, and now we consider him one of the greatest composers who ever lived

[@cory99998]

Not enough people actually understand this. Worst case scenario, they actually find success pursuing trends (especially with social media these days) and never actually develop their own taste. They put out mediocre work and sooner or later most fall off because they feel burnt out and people don't like their art like they used to. If you only draw pretty girls in the same 5 poses with the same 5 lighting schemes to farm social media likes, what skills are you really developing? If you develop your own taste and share your unique perspective with others, you have a chance to meaningfully impact people with something new and will enjoy your work significantly more. You'll most likely find more success as well since you know how to source your ideas from a place that people are interested in. It's an investment, wont pay off immediately but give it some time and your unique perspective will really stand out.

[@Hekinsieden]

Walk the path because it is yours, not because you see another's footsteps in the trail.

[@applebutter4036]

If it's fear, great. Maybe you can fix it. But I've seen so many people crash and burn hard when the truth finally comes down on them that they weren't special and they aren't cut out for their dream job. I think it's both healthy and rational to listen to that fear. Besides, I believe the answer to the Fermi Paradox is that our society has collectively decided to absolutely shit on every average job and make everyone feel like an abject failure if they haven't done something special with their life. Some tall dude that can put a ball in a basket efficiently = Hero. Dude that just delivered you're amazon order in the heat = Loser. And what I find troubling about this, is that my own happiness depends heavily on the average person, doing an average job. Do we really want to encourage people away from that kind of work? All of our lives will collectively go down the shitter if everyone doing an average job decided to quit and pursue their dream job.

[@slowfudgeballs9517]

This is only a western society problem. "You will own nothing and you will be happy."

[@di3486]

They crash and burn because they need to conquer their egocentrism. They need the humility to be content with being imperfect and I say this because I did it.

[@tjhunter9787]

Then wouldn't that make life basically a battle to see who can come out on top and achieve their dream jobs while everyone else has to stay behind and live to be nothing but a cog in the machine so society won't collapse? Granted that's the reality we have to work with but that doesn't make it a very good reality.

[@WASDLeftClick]

I think that’s true but I don’t think it has to be a bad thing. Your job doesn’t have to be your passion or even something you particularly enjoy. What it can be is something you can do well enough and tolerate because the money is good and it allows you to spend time on hobbies and leisure time that you do enjoy and find fulfillment in. Could be volunteer work too if you’re into that. Or maybe activism with the political organization of your choice. I only recently learned this, but the idea that your job has to be something you absolutely love and are very skilled at is just an idea and not a very good one.

[@mrmistyeyed_]

This channel has helped me realize so much about myself. For years now I wasn't doing anything productive, I just spent my days not talking to anyone and being depressed. I finally understand that I subconsciously decided to resign from challenging myself and that led to my life being terrible, which fed into my depression which kept this terrible state of living going for years. It's only now that I can admit that my depression was caused by me deciding contentment(or what I thought was contentment) over risk-taking which was the real thing I needed to prioritize since it always improves my life whether or not it pays off in the way I wanted. Thank you Healthy Gamer for helping me realize all this

[@LeonardoGPN]

When I played League of Legends I understood that the key to success is to maintain yourself making the best available decisions even when 99% of the time failure is certain because of event in or off your control. The same applies to chess and life. But I have ADHD and I know that I will never be a goal oriented person or control well my emotions. That doesn't mean that I destined to fail, just mean the the usual path will not work for me, I need to either do things I like or find a creative way to like something I need to do, because the more you enjoy something the less frustated you'll be with adversity. The GRIND is not for people with ADHD, and this is a problem because others will try to convince you that you need to suffer because most of the time this is useful to them, I learned to call this the "job interview mentality". It's stressful to find a new answer everytime and to ignore the need to reinforce toxic toughts for acceptance but is definetly worth.

[@Kimbolie12]

I make art as a hobby. When people see my artwork they often ask why I don’t make art for a living. I did make art for money for a couple of years in my teens, but I just didn’t enjoy it. I want to draw what I like and don’t like people asking for me to change things, it feels like I failed them somehow. Of course you could argue nowadays you can just make a patreon and draw what you like. I have an acquaintance from back in my online art days that is really famous right now. But I’m not jealous of them at all. I don’t like the internet’s negativity and although you have some freedom in drawing what you want you still have to follow the trends (fanarts always get a ton more likes). I think a career like that would have sucked all the joy out of art for me. Now I’m just a “mediocre” teacher. But I love my job and the place I work at. When I filled out my job application I thought there is no way they’re going to hire me, I’ve just finished school and am not even qualified (they asked for a master’s degree), but whatever, I’ll just go to the interview and get some practice for other interviews. And by chance nobody with the proper qualifications applied (teacher shortage has it’s advantages apparently) and they liked me the best out of all the candidates. I’ve been working there for four years now. It’s never monotonous or mediocre, every day is different and I keep learning new skills along with my students. Yes, I maybe I could have been an artist on the internet with a couple million followers if I chose differently, but somehow I think I prefer this timeline.

[@mattb9664]

Right in my space! If you go into engineering, the sooner you get over that "I'm an engineer and smarter than most people" mindset, the better off and happier you'll be. Because eventually you'll encounter other engineers that are actually better than you (especially as you age), including in the business sense, logistics sense, regulatory sense, safety arenas and of course project management with the extrovert and instant conversational skills. And there are things that just don't make sense in the workplace, like people who aren't as qualified receiving promotions based on favoritism and ability to interact with other engineering firms or companies at a management level...just need to accept it and look at your career as just a job, and sort of come away from that identity when you aren't at work.

[@Aeiouaaaaaaaaa]

Well said. I’m often reminded that no matter how smart you think you are, there will always be thousands of people who know more about something than you do, because everyone is interested in different things and has their own blind spots. It’s especially true if your area of expertise is highly specialized or requires a lot of time and effort (e.g. engineering, art, honestly a lot of professional fields).

[@di3486]

Every engineer until they get their ass kicked by a physicist😂🤣

[@di3486]

@@Aeiouaaaaaaaaa Being surrounded by people that are way more intelligent than you is literally a blessing. You will learn from the best.

[@bongwatercrocodile315]

​@@di3486i wish that was the case. I've been in groups with very smart and educated people but i cant even follow their conversations for lack of understanding. Also i am generally the most incompetent person in any field or task i know. You need decent bit of requisite knowledge for that effect to kick in. Plebs like me dont have it.

[@BreHuang]

Dr. K thank you so much for this video. It came at the perfect time for me. I relate to OP's post to an uncanny degree. I'm a 26-year-old female artist who constantly feels this way, the fear of mediocrity haunting me every hour of the day and keeping me up late into the morning on stimulants trying to making something of the limited time I'm given on this planet. I'm always haunted by the idea of "If I don't make it into the history books, then did I really live?" Reading this comment section tells me I'm not alone in feeling this way. Honestly, I wish I could befriend some of you who may feel similarly because most of the friends I talk to about this don't seem to have an inkling what it feels like. They are the cheerleaders that Dr. K talks about, though I do recognize and appreciate them for sticking by my side. Really wish there was some way I could connect with some of you though!

[@reconarmor99]

I did this for basically all of college. I wanted to write and act but I was terrified (still kinda am) for the same reasons this guy is. I spent so long doing something I didn't like at all because I considered it the safe option. And then after I graduated I spent 2.5 years looking for a job in it half heartedly and finding nothing. Eventually I just said fuck it, I'll start writing. I have not found much success yet (though it's only been like 8 months of sustained effort so whatever) but I'm still way WAY happier than I was before.

[@Aeiouaaaaaaaaa]

Hey congratulations man! That’s really inspiring to hear

[@thegritsch]

Damn that one is so relatable! I also did the "right" thing and majored in computer science. Got a job straight out of uni and I was miserable from day 1. I then resorted to finding a woman to fix my misery. Through lots of trials and tribulations, I got quite good at online dating, but I could not find a suitable partner, at least I went from a khv to semi regular hook ups. But the misery continued. Then I finally had enough and quit my job to go study another degree in a related field (AI). Turned out that that was also no good, since it did not interest me. On the side, I got into first vedanta and later buddhism, regularly meditating for 2 hours per day, going up and down the Jhanas. All the while still being lonely (and slightly less miserable). So after quitting uni again, I signed up for a 10 day vipassana retreat and I probably achieved stream entry there. But now that I'm back, its business as usual and I still don't know what to do careerwise. In the back of my head there is forming a hunch that I am destined for more, that I need to share my thoughts and ideas with the world, in some way. Also the teacher at the retreat said at the end to "carefully watch over me" to the other disciples, not sure what to make of that...

[@littlecurrybread]

You might know about this but check out Gary Weber, all his books are free online. Talks about unplugging the ego through meditation and self inquiry (backed by neuroscience, might be helpful to you). He has a YT too

[@FelipeDermann]

This hits me hard. I'm 28 and still only had two very brief job experiences and am currently without a job for quite a long time because I just don't feel like I fit anywhere or that anything I'm doing feels worth doing. Time passes so fast and nothing seems to work out for me and my thought is exactly like OP's, it's best that I just resign to a shitty life because this is it and there's nothing else to life than endless hours of pointless jobs so that we don't starve to death. My negative thoughts made me stop in time because why even try, right? That's the biggest trap you can fall into, stop improving and working on yourself because you told yourself it's not worth it, making the self-fulfilling prophecy a reality. I really need to let go of my fears as soon as possible to get out of this mud pit...

[@Cephyr]

I'm 21, started 2 months ago in the coperate world, im already miserable and i want out.

[@uremyfav_]

i feel the same way. am turning 25 this year and only working a part time job that just barely covers my expenses. cant think of any "proper" job that i'd be able to do well at or enjoy (or not make me want to kill myself).. i do dream of being able to do art for a living though bc that's the only interest i have that is possibly lucrative, but it feels so so unachievable. i guess i gotta work on getting over that fear thats being talked abt in this video too. oof

[@tombaumhart1891]

Every video I feel like I learn something new, maybe it’s about myself, maybe it’s about things I can’t control but I learn something. Thank you!

[@gijane2cantwaittoseeyou203]

If you need someone else to teach you things about yourself, then you have a big problem.

[@ihuvvvcuncur2617]

@@gijane2cantwaittoseeyou203 really helpful statement indeed

[@tigerpanzer8220]

@@gijane2cantwaittoseeyou203 here's a new lesson I'm gonna teach you since you seem to have no idea about it : Learning about yourself takes time and sometimes requires assistance of other people since most of the time people have cognitive bias or subjective view of themselves. It's only a big problem if they think they know it all

[@gijane2cantwaittoseeyou203]

@@tigerpanzer8220 Well, someone else CANNOT view you objectively either. They don't know what you are deep inside, they have their own biases. The idea you have of yourself whether right or wrong will clash with reality at some point. if you're right you will succeed, if you're wrong you'll fail, you will get up and try again. Only after repeated failures will you know yourself but the answer will never ever come from other people.

[@tigerpanzer8220]

@@gijane2cantwaittoseeyou203 of course they wouldn't know 100% what you are inside, but they can see what you couldn't, they can see your blind spot. But whether their input about you is relevant or useful is another matter that needs to be tested. The point is, just relying on yourself entirely is inefficient when you have a lot available sources that could've helped you faster.

[@Scetileaf]

I was just having trouble by thinking like this. Everyone always told me im creative and I started feeling terrible once my life went south for following and constantly failling at a creative career. Now I can say that what I'm afraid of is having a career based in what I'm best at but is not fullfilling for me, rather than something I care about. That has been a recurrent issue with my relationships with art, science and my interests and hobbies.

[@di3486]

But you know if you are creative? People tell this to me and I think is non-sense. Maybe you are forcing yourself into something you may not enjoy or be good at.

[@ZennieoYT]

Hey this was my post on the subreddit.. I took it down because I didn't think anyone would really get what I was saying. It's reassuring to know that I'm not the only person dealing with this. I don't know how I'll get over my fear, and my brains tendency for resignation, but I thank you for responding to my post, I think keeping this stuff in mind will help push me closer to the direction I really want to go in life. You're spot on though, I am scared shitless of grinding and having nothing to show for it years down the line.

[@sp123]

Getting higher than the top 20% percent of anything requires factors outside of ones control. Best you can do is find a smart woman to have a child, put them in the best private schools and they can be in that tip 5%

[@melitajay]

@@sp123 That's not the best at all haha

[@sp123]

@@melitajay my point is that most success is generational. Obama can't become president if his parents weren't both Harvard PhDs, Trump and Elon Musk couldn't become billionaires if their parents weren't so rich, etc

[@dash445566]

It's difficulty but we'll get better at it

[@S3verance]

“If I ask her out, she’s gonna say no anyway, she clearly has no interest in me whatsoever”. This video made me realise Its not helplessness, it’s fear that’s holding me back, fear of rejection makes my mind resign to failure. I can’t believe how much I get to learn from these videos.

[@melitajay]

It's like if you don't ask, there's a slim chance she'll say yes, but if you ask and she says no, that hope is gone and you're stuck with the truth. I think that's how the mind works, not necessarily the reality of the situation, of course. That's the mentality I seem to have with certain things I am afraid of. I do think it is fear based.

[@S3verance]

@@melitajay Yeah, you put it perfectly, the mind is truly a mystery.

[@di3486]

@@melitajay it’s all about ego. Handling rejection with grace is a huge endeavor but teaches us humility. We are not special or deserve special treatment.

[@jonaskoelker]

Here are some thoughts about fear and resignation: Fear means believing that a bad outcome can happen but it's not guaranteed. Fear means uncertainty. Resignation means believing that some undesired outcome is inevitable. Often, fear is associated with one's own action. That is, we believe that acting carries a risk of a bad outcome. Resignation means deciding not to act and accept the downside of inaction as a permanent state ("I'll never have a [gender]friend"). To what extent can you overcome fear _through_ resignation? What I'm thinking is: somehow talk yourself into the bad outcome of *action* (rather than / not just inaction) as inevitable, decide that you can accept that outcome, and go chase after the bad outcome-in part to numb yourself to it, in part because this time might be the winning lottery ticket. In terms of dating, persuade yourself that if you ask her out she will definitely say no, but by asking her out anyways you'll become less nervous over time by experiencing that although being rejected is disappointing it need not crush your heart and the disappointment is tolerable. Also, if you resign yourself to being rejected _rudely_ up front and you instead get rejected decently, rejection will exceed your expectation, it'll be more pleasing than expected, and thus you might do the behaviors that lead to rejection more often, which incidentally are also those that lead to success. (I guess I'm reinventing exposure therapy all over again.)

[@friendlyforest2747]

i’m not sure if this is the same thing as resigning, (and i’ll also preface that i don’t mean to brag this is just an anecdote) but when i used to perform the piano in international competitions, the first time i placed first was when i earned a recital at carnegie hall in nyc. i was horrified because that’s obviously a super big responsibility, walking onto the most prestigious stage in the states and having to perform. in response to this fear, i told myself “it’s already done, time doesn’t exist, i’m currently on the part of the time that’s before i go out on stage and there is simultaneously a time in existence where that performance is done and i’m in my hotel room. i treated it as if i could manually become blacked out and dissociate, but still experience the performance like i was an audience member. from the outside, watching from behind my body.

[@swafflemanish]

I used to think this way a few years ago. Now I realize that all I can actually do is to do my best in all things and to keep investing in my skills and knowledge. I don't have an exceptional life, but I have a good one. I think there is also wisdom in accepting current circumstances while not truly giving up on your long term goals. We all need to eat and pay bills so if you have to work a shit job for a while, it's OK.

[@ThatsOurRobert]

I've had this same problem for ages when it comes to music. Even when someone big in the metal scene I admire said they love my music I STILL can't find the drive to do anything with it because I'm stuck in comfort.

[@nanooooO3]

I've been watching Dr.k for some time now, first saw a few of the streams with famous streamers like poki.. and then i started following the youtube channel.. and i found lots of interest topics.. and i always tough he is the kind of therapyst i would like to have.. i was having a bad night today, upset for something out of my control.. i saw this video earlier in my feed, so i though about searchign for the meditation videos, something i never tried before.. and wow.. it calmed me down a lot, didnt imagine it was going to work! I usually never leave messages on videos either, but if u read this Dr.K, thank a lot, your videos using references us gamers understand, and clear information.. made me understand a lot more how therapy works, and that how a good therapyst can help u understand your problems and try to overcome them! And the meditation ones, maybe its not for everyone, but it helped me when i needed!

[@SWAG599]

This is honestly insanely eye opening. I think I've been doing this to myself for too long and hopefully I can start to get out of my "contentment". The part where Dr. K called out the person from chat that was basically subconsciously resigning was insane at 22:25.

[@hollowedboi5937]

So we’re not destined to be mediocre, we’re just scared to succeed. The path that everyone else goes seems safer, but we acknowledge that it may not really be for us and cause us pain both during and after the fact with regret. The real joy and path to success and happiness is the one that others or the majority may not tread, but taps into your interests. It’s laid with empathy, knowledge of your surroundings, and the ability to separate what you are scared of with what may be opportune from that path. Seek discomfort, stay skeptical, and strive to experience rather than live to serve a title, got it 👍🏼

[@ErikQuintanillaMusic66]

"you have a lot of agency in life" 😂 lmao that shit had me rolling

[@eonryan8491]

7:41 9:18(10:00) - trying to become content with the misery instead of fixing the misery 11:38 13:53 - assuming worst case scenario is protective against the fear 17:16(17:58) - mind protects you from taking the road less traveled, which is hard 18:28 - destiny 19:48 - assumptions 20:11 - example of someone turning passion to biz 22:16 - if you pay attention to the world and bring real value, there may be someone who want it 23:07 - no the best that makes their dream a reality, its the people who really try

[@wallyhackenslacker]

3:09 nowadays when you see a gallery asking $200K or more for a painting, specially if it is by a young or relatively unknown artist, it usually means there is some rich "patron of the arts" pulling an elaborate tax evasion scheme.

[@Moose92411]

The first part of this reflects EXACTLY the recent interview titled "I don't trust compliments." Really fascinating psychology involved in reassurance vs empathy and validation

[@sarahvic3022]

Ngl, at 17:13 I just started crying. This is exactly how I've been feeling for an year and a half now. Doctor K hits the nail right where is hurts again :')

[@TimothyZhou0]

Wow this really echoes a lot of what I've been discovering through my own experience! Definitely, acceptance and resignation are coping mechanisms for fear of disappointment, and "fear is the mind-killer." But I do think it's possible to try for many years to escape an unpleasant situation, only to end up right back where you started. So it can be tricky to tell if we're afraid, or if we are truly stuck and would be better off accepting that destiny...

[@alfredhitchcock45]

Primary emotion Feeling - hopelessness, despair Controlling their life - fear Contentment, resignation - coping mechanism to fear Giving up - biologically conserved thing Linearity - Destiny You have a lot of agency in life People who really try, open minded, flexible Life is like chess, not a linear game Survive the worst

[@unicycle1017]

I used to feel like I had to be completely world changing, as in world famous, for some type of success growing up. That's what everyone kept hyping me up for as a kid, at least, that's what the adults around me told me. Though these days, I just feel better being above average, but not really the top 1%. Though what does the top 1% even mean? You're one of those tech billionaires? Though at the same time, those top billionaires also tend to be excessively greedy about their money, so what does being ethically great even mean? Great is subjective. Great in mainstream society's eyes involve being the richest, most famous, and high status person possible, instead of someone who is the kindest, the wisest or just the best version of themselves, whether that's in being materially successful or not. I'm not saying there's no value in material needs, especially when you're caught up in debt like most of us in society, but beyond basic survival and enjoying a moderate amount of luxuries of other things to do, I don't really need to be in the top of the top of 1%. Maybe I'm not even above average by society's standards, but I do believe I'm above average as a person, or in some kind of character, and that's what matters more. I'm not perfect by all means, but in life, I've tried my best so far and have always kept out of trouble, so I think I seem to have done fine. What does great even mean, really? The reason why corrupt people get into power because the manipulative ways people in the top 1% get in top get rewarded. It seems like for most of the 1%, the wrong people are considered to be the "top," if you ask me. I guess that's kind of /r/antiwork of me, but if the type of people I see in the news apparently are considered the top 1%, then I'm not sure if I really want to be the 1%. Those people are overrated. Being in the 1% is overrated. The more I hear about the actual 1% in the world, the more I want to stray far away from it as possible.

[@nurtaytulegenov7431]

Thanks for that video. It really gave a stuff to think about and it's not something really unique in what is said (I've heard it from both of my psychiatrists), but you wrap this up in a way open for thinking. I myself always struggled to make my life successful and to this day success in my field weights much more than everything else and to this day I have the fear of miserable mediocre life as everyone else around me. Also, being hardworking and dependable worker/student/colleague doesn't mean you can get even slightly above average

[@warriorfoe]

I gotta be frank… of all the problems a person could have that have been gone over on this channel, this one has to be one of the best. I’d pick this problem over the vast majority of other problems. As for the solution, ya we gotta accept mediocrity. Not all of us can be famous and hyper successful. Someone’s gotta be the accountant (me), that is average or above average. Someone has to be the artist that doesn’t make it big. We’ll make it through though.

[@sisyphus_strives5463]

But it is important to overcome fear, to at least try. What is the worst that can happen from failure in America? Perhaps living paycheck to paycheck, but that is not the worst a person can have in the world. Regret is a terrible thing

[@sisyphus_strives5463]

Joining the military is also an option if nothing works out for you

[@LennyTheHopeless]

My mom said this to me when I expressed the same feelings as this post: "You don't have to be the best, in fact most companies don't want the best because they can't afford it. They'd much rather hire 10 average guys to get more done and faster instead of hiring 1 guy who's the best of the best but gets it done 10x slower." Made me realize that I should just do what I want regardless of whether or not ill be the best at it. Someone out there will always find value in what you do, and even if no one does, at least you can enjoy it. Then again this wasn't for a creative art, but for some technical skill I wanted to go into at the time. So idk if I'd say the same if you're like a homeless artist or something lol

[@bimajuantara]

Nah, who needs artist nowadays? if we have these advanced painting bots. Haha jk. Godspeed Warrior!. We'll make it through. Hopefully.

[@fakename2926]

Who wants to make it through? Too much effort for no payoff.

[@ProbablePaul]

In every interest I have, I've found that socialization has the greatest impact on one's ability to succeed to the point of gaining recognition, regardless of their talent. If people don't want to be around you, then no one is going to give you the opportunities or the recognition you want/need. Which to me means that reaching the peak of success is a bit of a social game, especially when it's competitive. To be smart, talented and have social finesse is extremely rare. I think the best to strive for is being happy, and take opportunities when they're presented. Then if you're lucky, maybe you will stumble on some success. I mean, isn't that how most people do it? Many success stories I've read have an element of luck to them, like being in the right place at the right time. Just, do what you can, and try to be happy with what you can get.

[@dcard228]

Mediocrity is the worst. I'd rather just be terrible at everything than be mediocre

[@mirabella2154]

What a weird mindset.

[@infinitecurlie]

Woooo if this ain't me. I'm pursuing a degree in Creative writing because I'm a creative person and like to write but when writing novels and just writing in general "making it big" only happens to people who are really exceptional. People around me have said I'm talented in writing and should write books and I'm like frick I'm not Tolkien or Rowling, etc. And even in my writing classes they're like you know most people can't make a career out of writing and publishing novels and it just makes me look at the people around me - my best friend just got her PhD in plant biology, my husband is studying to be a nurse, and I'm like frick why can't I be interested in something that goes somewhere like nursing, computer science, etc. I've tried to force myself to study something else, but I always go back to creative writing, after years of doing this and going back and forth I'm like eff it. I'm going to write, It might lead me to writing and publishing novels, it might lead me to somewhere else, but now I'm at least going to try something with writing.

[@seiwarriors]

Likewise I've done law as my undergrad and hated thus got an average degree and can't find a job at all. Although writing novels and creating stories out of thin air is something that I love and thinking of doing a creative writing degree in the future but working as a detective in the meantime for now in order to have a salary. Best option is that a job is something that is to get by while writing and hoping for something is useless but rather do it for enjoyment. In all honesty I don't know that I want to do in my who life but in the meantime I want to write as for now it is my outlet. Just do what you think is right.

[@jonathanabgrall6075]

This post is weird to me cause this is something i could had wrote 10 years ago. I was in the exact same mindset and situation, i have some talents that are really hard to monetize (writing and languages) and i was always above average intelligence wise. Problem is that i come from the bottom of society, never had any money or opportunity or connections. So i never made anything out of these talents. What fixed my issues is realizing i was thinking like an entitled child. Life doesn't owe you anything. So i went back to school, learned a trade, got a good job that i'm rising through fairly quickly (and ironically its where my billinguism and intelligence are starting to pay off) and literally rose from the bottom of society into a comfortable middle-class situation. All cause i finally grew up and understood that in the grand scheme of things i wasn't special and that the only way i'll get anything is through hard work. I still write in my spare time. So yeah, hope this guy realizes there's a third path at some point.

[@samgay9571]

The engineering feild is the worst for this, for sure. We are taught to worship the ideal of the "elite engineer" - when, in reality, building things requires a diverse set of skills. Diversity always leads to better products that are more useful to a broad range of people. But, instead of cultivating diverse skills, the industry has decided to focus on a narrow set of skills that are really only useful in a specific part of the engineering process. This is a limiting factor for diversity in this field, and it is a big issue. Whatever you want to do, chances are there are a lot of different skills needed to get it done. Learn to play to your strengths, and how to utilize other people when you need to, as well.

[@soccom8341576]

Those who reach management dictate the selection criteria based on what they see as most important, and of course, what they do well. However that may not be what's needed in that context.

[@Murihey]

So, the thing about competency and creative control - they are not correlated. I worked for FAANG companies, by all accounts 1% of software engineering, and I have seen people far more competent than myself have exactly 0 creative control. Creative control comes from having means (or having trust of people with means) and the willingness to take risks. And it doesn't mean that you need to go become a staving artist. You can have a day job and do creative work after hours. After working 12+ years in software development and game development as an employee, now I have a day job that pays my rent, and I have a studio with a few friends, where we make stuff we like after hours, funded by day jobs.

[@di3486]

Resignation is necessary in a few situations in life, however, resignation comes from a strong place of resilience, not resentment. It can mean you acknowledge your limits and make peace with them. Fear of facing the truth about your limits, as the Doc said, is the root of all.

[@madcat6299]

If there's one thing I have learned in pursuing a creative path, repetition and monotonous tasks also exists. It's even harder than getting a regular job because there's no assurance to be successful. It's the grandiose idea that comes with pursuing your calling is the thing that is destroying ourselves. Sometimes, even if you get to do the job you have always wanted to do, it doesn't feel as great as you have imagined it to be.

[@camronchlarson3767]

So I spent my early twenties wanting desperately to become a big-time Hollywood screenwriter. I wanted to write half hour comedy TV shows and worked so hard at it. I tried and failed for 5 years to get my name out there and obtain a manager. I wrestled with these thoughts all the time and eventually decided I would rather go after a more obtainable creative job instead of waste another five or 10 or 20 years chasing after something that only very few people ever attain. So I made a pivot a couple of years ago to focus on becoming a narrative designer for video games and it has been a blast. I can't say that I broke in or have been successful at all yet but I'm not dealing with the constant pressure of this pipe dream that seems so unattainable. I think it does a lot of good for creatives to realize there's not just one path and to keep their horizons broad because there are countless overlooked creative jobs that are just as fulfilling as the highly sought after creative jobs everyone thinks of.

[@AANation360]

Well said man. Perfect example of what Dr. K is saying.

[@sp123]

You cant get into Hollywood screenwriting without an ivy league education. It is a very tight circle

[@dreamingacacia]

As someone that threw the life or success away to pursue passion and dream I have something to say about this. I thought the same that "I'm destined for mediocrity", I never good at anything though I would say I'm kinda decent in my ability to play videogames(basically I can play new games without much problems). But I don't have the discipline to become world top esport player and I don't have the ability to communicate with others without hefty of misunderstandings therefore I also cannot become YTber or streamer. What choices do I have? what do I good at? I spent years learning about myself while agony about a lot of painful experiences. At one point I kept asking myself "who am I?" it's as if I've known my place to never trying to say or act as if I'm someone influencial, though I never thought that I was one but the society kinda reminded me that how I acted was "too out of place". . Well a lot happened and then I quitted uni to pursue my dream job. I'm still daydreaming about the desired lifestyle or dream house or dream mount(vehicle) , with thousands of painful memories weighting me down I slowly studying from them and realized one thing "when you set expectation, you'll suffer". Well it's not a bad thing to have expectation in stuffs especially when you're investing in them, it's only bad when you think one medicine can cure everything without you even realizing about it. . After painfully working on myself for 2 years, I started to work on my dream for real this time. Then after I worked on my dream for a year, everything failed miserably and I ended up with total life reform. Now I'm living in that reformed lifestyle so that hopefully I can finish what I started. It's been half a year since then and Everything progressing smoothly, by this I mean there is no setback and only small steps toward my goal. Well I do struggles quite a lot and my life here is far from perfect, even after I finished my project and get some money to improve my QoL and upgrade my PC, I'd still have to improve on a lot of aspects. . What I've seen myself in the future is that even if I'm super success, I'd still have a lot more stuffs to do. And even if top 1% come and support me with everything they could there would be mountains of works to be done even with top quality assistance to help me with delegations. . Yes, I'm an ambitious person and I knew full well that my dream won't be able to fully achieved. It's fine though, at least I won't be lacking in stuffs to do. And even if I happen to fail or involving market got collapsed then I don't mind finding my way into the new markets. Well if I happen to fail miserably, I'll just start again with new perspective as long as I'm alive that is. . I just don't care about stability of secured life. It's because I'd been living in constant fear and insecurity, I was constantly in survival mode since I was 14 and it's stopped around when I was 28. I have to sustain high level of cortisol and tank a lot of painful experiences, so I developed mental fortitude level high enough to persist with the insecurities and doubts. That's probably why I don't care if I happen to fail or die trying.

[@elmile824]

Hmm, my understanding of the point of the video is that one must accept the fear and anxiety of life. I think this makes sense, however it does mean that you will live with a little bit of discomfort (around the sun split, maybe stomach) for a big part of your life. That's normal, I guess, parents are often worried about their children. Very interesting video, as usual I'm amazed at how often I learn new stuff even though I've watched so many of your videos.

[@raphaelcarre6144]

Many relatives of mine say that '' You are exactly what you want to be, because you are the only thing you can directly change in life." There is ways to become the best of yourself... I'm not the best of myself because I have to begin somewhere. If an environnement is not fit for you then you can either change where you are or who you decide to be in the nexts few seconds and later...

[@Setton1000]

What is the occupation called as a whole if it is a meal & when it is done in multiples & includes 'the ever never & always unknown' task of resigning from the past & most of the fear & it's following future hypothetics? -> 'Elephant-Tour-Rettés-Crépes' -> & 'Mice-rice-Counterclockwise-Clock-ties' -> or the one that I consider most helpful: 'Waste-Of-Time-&-Lime-Gibberish-Reading-Mile-No-Fudging-Smile-For-A-Bunch-Of-Yer'-Bile-Kyle'

[@internetfrnd6496]

Titles keep getting more and more relevant each and every day

[@quangnhat5345]

This make me remember the quote from the invincible movie: when everyone is super, no one will be

[@FAI_CW]

I'm enjoying this channel a lot after finding it through Trihex, but god damn that handwriting is next level ^_^'

[@lalakuma9]

I feel bad for OP especially because anxiety also kills your creativity. That's why they can't see any choice other than their "destiny", or think that there's only one kind of success in the creative field. I think they should work on their mental health first and not worry about "making it" at a certain age. Once you're well enough, you'll be able able to open up your perspective and even make better creative work than before. Btw there are plenty of creative people in engineering. You can be creative even in fields that aren't traditionally seen that way. (And sometimes artistic fields aren't really that creative at all and just recycle the same ideas over and over).

[@OkaruEXE]

In my experience, actual effort doesn't seem to amount to much. If you really want to get higher in life, nepotism, inheritance, & luck are your best bets. It doesn't matter how good our are at the game, if you'll never get a chance to play.

[@sp123]

There's a book called how to get good at almost anything that says hard work will get you to the top 20% if you're lucky. Getting higher than the top 20% requires factors outside our external control

[@di3486]

I would say that, taking into account my origins, I have come a long way (with zero inheritance, connections) none of it means fame (which I would hate) but in my own book is impressive.

[@TinyBudha]

I personally despise society and the way it runs from a moralistic standpoint and am completely unprepared to help or assist that system in any way. I would sooner live off grid and slowly watch it collapse. Even if it means losing many of the conveniences that come with being part of society. Most people in society are not happy, they may enjoy certain aspects of their lives, but fundamentally the self focused Capitalistic/narcissistic society we have only takes people further and further from their true nature. We can lost in a sea of comparison, aggressive competition and lack of compassion and care for our fellow man, people are more lonely and disconnected then ever, even with technologies like social media around which were supposed to create the opposite. Silence is compliance, there needs to be change. Thankfully we are slowly seeing change happen but I don't think it will fully transition in my lifetime. The best way to play the game in my opinion is to not play at all. Because the game is rigged for everyone to lose.

[@anthonyskrzypczak9437]

Dude... like imagine that you live off the grid for your whole life, and society doesn't collapse. What a waste that would be.

[@soccom8341576]

​ @Anthony Skrzypczak Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one.

[@Zwiebly]

Yeah I feel this one a lot. My whole life I am paralyzed by fear of not reaching my bar of "good enough", which ironically makes me worse at everything I do. I am currently studying to become a teacher and the fear of dissappointing all the actors involved (my professors, other teachers, parents, students, myself) is intense. I feel like if I had the courage to be a shitty teacher, only then could I free up enough mental capacity to be a decent one.

[@notimetoexplain8063]

The road less travelled is just not reassuring. Like the thing is, the question on my mind is “if success is guaranteed or at least probable, not just possible, in the risky path, why doesn’t everyone take it?” So I assume then that people take the normal route because it’s safe. Sure, live out your passion and take the risk, but there are more examples of people crashing and burning, not just normally, but spectacularly there. If you can weather the storm and make the right decisions, then great. People say that it’s all about learning from failures, but you never really learn how damning a failure can be until you experience it. And trust me, there ARE damning failures.

[@justpeachy4393]

I found your channel by accident. Funny enough this topic is something I've been wrestling with for a while now and you kind of confirmed the same conclusions I came to. That comment you were reading could have been me a year ago!

[@TheMidnightBandit]

It's "all or nothing" thinking. If you nurture your ability to find value in yourself and be grateful for who you're becoming ✨️, then you'll paradoxically get out of your way ✨️ and start ✨️ looking at the world with eyes trained to reach for true success... lift yourself up, so that you can lift others along with you, so that you can elevate your world 🌎 😉.

[@VoidCael]

Toxic positivity alert

[@protogionlastname6003]

19:43 Dr. K is explaining singly-linked lists and depth-first search in a binary tree, great job btw

[@MochaxMatcha]

This is re assuring and unnerving at the same time.

[@kapeecoffee]

The thing that sucks is that I grew up requiring me to be content because of the situation back then. So now a days I easily get contented with things that I wish I wasn't because it's not really helping me move forward

[@spigney4623]

Recently I've been feeling resigned to not hating myself. Something snapped and now I realize that hating myself is boring tbh

[@Gabster1990]

Most people are mediocre and there is nothing wrong with that.

[@laka1469]

maybe that were true if that didn't mean they let society abuse them

[@rachelroth3141]

I wish I had this after finishing school! Thank you

[@goncalodinisantunes]

The algorithm will now promote your video even more

[@spookiloowee4773]

thank you for these videos your guiding light is so helpful to so many❤️

[@BarbaraMerryGeng]

Unfortunately- one can only see the on ramp - or off ramp > from the position of pre - entry. > There will be more info & choices once you enter the lane of your choice. > While there are no guarantees in life; it’s also true - every day life gives you new chances & choices. > What do u do, if you go to Kmart & they don’t have your favorite shampoo? Would you quit washing your hair ?? Of course not. You would seek other options. > As for who ‘ makes it ‘ - that’s hard to predict. > Focus in on your own life; stop listening to on line life coaches; treat your life like the amazing adventure gift that it is ! - Don’t follow other plans- go have your own adventure !

[@vyldim3401]

Thanks for this video. I really relate with the reddit post.

[@IcomanSB]

Have not watched the whole video yet. But something I've learned that when it comes to the people around you, a mere 100 hours is enough to be competent and far above others in most interests. The global aspect is the hard thing to accept, but you can easily get better at most things than the people around you.

[@hexfizgamingch]

I had a mix agreement and disagreement with both the OP post and Dr.K (sincerly) opinion. at least i had to learn that not everyone will be that 1% and most of us will be "mediocore" first. The reasone being is i always get a good enough grade since my priamry school ( top 10 at least) and more or less recieve praise from society (hence some also expect great thing). The major force bearing down on me will be that responsibilit (or expectation) force upon me, i am too afraid to take a step since if i fail i will let everybody down. But as of now i begin to accept that being mediocore is fine , you dont have to be that 1% to do thing. i can just take my forever pace of my own and slowly get better each time . i dont have to See that 1% anymore, i just care more about my own progress it deosnt have to beat the 1% but at least i did something today. it is a very weirdly fresh feeling and its make me willing to take a bet and less afraid of "what if i fail". but still a great insight and new perspective provided by Dr.K too , it also gave me an idea what way too think about this stuff too

[@dystopiaseven]

You stay on the first level if you don't make a choice. Makes sense.

[@BabiiGurlMikii]

I think you need to be realistic too. There are millions of people who gave it their all and still didn’t achieve the success they wanted.

[@jayceejellies6424]

I almost had a panic attack while watching this. I have struggled with this feeling for my whole. life. and never knew what it was or how to fix it, the op seriously pin pointed my feelings with the needing to become content with a mediocre life. I have struggled tremendously with this feeling and something inside of me always just feels so angry and hurt at the idea of this at the same time. "I don't want this life, but what else can I do?!" not knowing where I can go from the point I am at. I still don't know exactly how to combat this or figure out what exactly I'm afraid of, but maybe I can bring up this feeling in therapy and get further guidance now that I know what it is. Thanks you Dr. K and op because this is a real struggle and it's hard. No other way to put it, it's just really hard.

[@nanasshi0711]

That speech by Alain de Botton about snobbery was eye-opening

[@monocyte2210]

Dr K your background is awesome.

[@bobpope3656]

Ppl need to wake up, the majority of the 1% inherent money merits don’t count for much.

[@gggggggggggggg123]

Excellent video. Subscribing to the channel.

[@DeluxSkater]

I might have i missed the point but what exactly is now the solution to that fear in the video ?

[@RebelOfTheWorld]

anyone else not get anything from this video? It hits home, but just feels like dr. k explained the situation without any actually help

[@greenfoxillustration]

The Indian mom lady impression kills me 😂 brilliant

[@firstaccnt]

is accurate? lol

[@clutchmartin]

Oh my god. I’ve never seen a reddit post that’s 100% accurate with what I feel word for word.

[@vladislavkaras491]

Thanks for the video!

[@jackperry6269]

This guy is good Such a legend

[@zach_zach5898]

There's nothing wrong with mediocrity. It is good to have goals and things to work towards, but seeing the other side of the coin, like poverty-stricken families, who can barely keep an apartment is important too. Your viewpoint is always changing when your life changes. An example of this: I sometimes sleep like a cat, so I wake up with stiff shoulders and back. Whenever I sleep well, I feel wonderful. If I never woke up with a sore back, I would feel normal instead of wonderful. Basically varying perspectives are important and social media is just full of the other side of the coin.

[@haunts3479]

your life is already destined on what you dont have the advantage on. literally everyone is the same skillset capacity minus the extreme cases. the only thing is experiences that differentiate you from others. if you have an unlucky spawn it doesnt matter, you can still accomplish what anyone else has, given they were not just born into some insane advantage and filled with nepotism.

[@axl1002]

That's the best video on Narcissism I've ever seen.

[@mintee8638]

If you want to be among the best, then find the best and be among them physically/virtually. Books and videos are a cheap way for access to some of the best, for those that put themselves out there. For the more advanced technique of being with them and have them know you on a personal level, odds are the best are too busy to help develop you. So, offer to help them with something that will give them more time or that will motivate them to help you. Maybe offer doing the production work for them to create a course. Offer to do some of the grunt businesswork and give an idea that will help them in doing their own business. Lastly, keep in mind the long-term view, meaning 5 to 10 years. Don't expect big things to happen without having a solid foundation. A solid foundation means, among other things, memorizing and Mastering the fundamentals to the point where you can give an amazing speech on the topic when asked on the spot.

[@wanderingrandomer]

I feel like "creative" people are especially vulnerable to this, because as life gets in the way, after a certain point, the realisation of "y'know, I haven't actually created anything in weeks/months/years" hits you like a freight train and you go full existential crisis mode. Or maybe that's just me!

[@yraval01]

Engineering is not monotony. Also if ur passionate about something it should drive you regardless of how u stack up to others

[@anshul.infinity]

Mind avoids uncertainty.

[@racheln8563]

I really do feel personally called out right now. I've always equated "mediocrity" with being cringingly bad, a la William Hung on American Idol. He was a buffoon, I thought, when I first saw him, and I don't want to be a buffoon. Another word I associate with mediocrity is "boring", and I don't want to be that, either. Being disabled on top of everything else makes matters even worse. I feel almost as if I have a moral obligation to be famous, to take my place in the pantheon of famous disabled people. I was obsessed from childhood with those people's life stories, and I resolved to be like them. Unfortunately, nothing I ever did was good enough, so I never really accomplished anything great, and I disparaged the few things I did manage to achieve.

[@TheSabotaje]

This is one of the best things I’ve heard in a long time