Your Mom's House Podcast - Ep.649

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Welcome back to the Mommydome with Tom Segura and Christina P, where there's a Margaritaville inside! Christina visited Tom on the road with the kids and she's surprised how BORING he is on the road. We have an opening clip that really upsets Christina, Enny reclaims his hot sauce power, and we discuss peener problems. We read some follow up emails from mommies about the Texan in Russia, Victoria's Secret models, the guy opening car doors of unlocked cars, and the famous old drunk from Killarney. Christina comes up with a difficult Margaritaville-based Would You Rather, there's an incredible update on the Chad VS Chris feud, and we watch Christina's latest curation of TikToks!
tomsegura.com/tour
christinaponline.com/tour-dates
store.ymhstudios.com/
/ yourmomshousepodcast

[@anthonymignano5918]

Toms going to go wild when he mentions wills slap in 5 weeks

[@PlayNiceFolks]

Redbar Radio

[@anthonymignano5918]

@@PlayNiceFolks whats that. He they have Tom on

[@MichBrosGrowShow]

@@anthonymignano5918 it's a spammer

[@anthonymignano5918]

@@MichBrosGrowShow gotchya

[@antoniohoward8529]

@@anthonymignano5918 bro stop using gendered language

[@nicholaswhitehead3437]

The booth clapping as soon as Christine puts on the glasses reminds me of North Koreans clapping for Kim Jung-un

[@jasonmeador7861]

HA! Yes

[@gargarman]

You wouldn't clap? Brave. Stoopid but brave!

[@hotstankygarbage788]

The clear frames are fire but those other one's were dookie

[@DamonInferis]

Both are a DICKtatorship

[@nevgil]

The dark frames was like a hot librarian.... no disrespect 🤣🤣🤣

[@TonyChin226]

In a world that hates bullying, I’m glad I can still come to YMH to laugh at other peoples expense.

[@atomiccris00]

Don't worry everyday I see more people silently agree we should bully more. We're still finding our equillibrium

[@drivehard2395]

I laugh every time Tom talks about his boy and uses a deeper voice than his own for the 6yr old.

[@LanceWillMakeIt]

Ikr 😆

[@kg_canuck]

The funniest part is that its almost the same as his voice for bird kushnur

[@zachrodgers7783]

Keep Ennys favorite hot sauce out ya mouth

[@gorsand6333]

Nice one! 😂

[@sasogorelick]

👋

[@mrs.h2725]

During the dick discussion my husband asked 'who's the girl behind the booth boys? Is she the fluffer?' 💀

[@bl1ndwipe425]

good work gerth would b proud

[@CollateralDamage93]

🥴👋

[@lesliethomas8117]

Tom's laugh during the opening clip makes me so happy.

[@user-wg6hm3wo9p]

The callback at 1:23:25 with Tim's reaction is pretty 😎

[@lesliethomas8117]

@@user-wg6hm3wo9p I agree 😂

[@mikestrickland6290]

The chuckle is the truth

[@rulisa1131]

That opening clip was Christina in a parallel universe 😂

[@abelincoln196]

I j'd off 3 times.

[@TheAlchemicalCocktailLounge]

This was one of my favorite episodes recently and then THEY PLAYED MY SILLY FED SMOKER SONG AT THE END! I nearly browned my jeans. Hot sauce truly is the best…

[@scarymsmary]

And thank you for actually writing a SONG! I'm so tired of hearing random-ass samples over a meh beat. (Don't get me wrong. There HAVE been some stand out gems.) But this is so refreshing! :D

[@TheAlchemicalCocktailLounge]

@@scarymsmary the wild thing is that i figured theyd pass on it because of the full song format. shows what I know!

[@dalenewbery4848]

How did you submit it? I made one and I wanna send it in

[@davidalaniz9203]

Can we get old Johnny Pemby back on here?? I love his chemistry with the crew!

[@benjaminhixson3918]

For real, he should be a regular

[@B14k3]

Sippy sips with da poolwater

[@TheSeedforme]

Nothing against the guests, but most of the time the best episodes are just tom, Christina and the crew goofballing around. It makes me think me and my girlfriend can make it

[@tylerchatell1491]

100%

[@xdrummerxcorex]

1000000%

[@itaxevasixn8808]

You cant❤️

[@anthonyflannery8799]

I’ll be your first sponsor… I sell tubs of bullshit, so it fits well with your new podcast

[@tobytoby8495]

Make what?

[@ifancyurmom]

Can we acknowledge that Nadav is looking like he’s making great progress with the weight loss

[@Phlayr]

I noticed that too he looks great

[@joeyescobar4137]

Yeah way better than turd cakes segura

[@sandraannofnorway]

Yes ., toutch my camara through MY fence Nadav 😁💪🏻

[@jamesgoldfinch3123]

Looks like a phat J to me

[@wyatt5712]

He’s looking very breedable

[@daddydeeppocketz]

Nadav is THE BEST audience. His laugh alone cracks me UP. Love this pod.

[@marquesdinapoli9945]

Nadav has never sounded more stereotypically Jewish than when he stuttered through the phrase: “I, I’m, I’m very ethical!”

[@boywildish]

The evolution of the back room has been a pleasure to watch.

[@rustyshackleford6992]

Agreed. Who's the girl? I feel dumb lol

[@ivonne0_0]

Came to the comments to find out who the girl is .

[@johnnydeleon8210]

Pretty r worded of them to just not mention the broad at all like they did with Chad and the other dude was just there one day and never mentioned them

[@bigshrimp6458]

@@johnnydeleon8210 probably doesn’t know if she’s an actual fit yet, very close nit crew everyone is functional when being filmed if she isn’t she goes and nobody remembers her.

[@joelhahn1020]

Happy Wednesday everybody. Only a few days left until the weekend. There's a big ice storm happening here so I'm staying inside today. I'll have to get my workout in without the gym. Let's all try and keep positive with all the crazy stuff going on in the world right now. Big shout-out to the Ukrainian people. Hot sauce is the best.

[@DelightfulDissident]

Have a great day Joel 😁 let's keep this energy until the weekend! You can do it!

[@Goldenbaba430]

Have a good day!!!

[@generationkill791]

u in canada? were suspoed to get a bad ice storm here too

[@joelhahn1020]

@@generationkill791 I'm in Northern Michigan. Nearly the U.P.

[@mchapman2870]

Hang in there Joe I'm in the UP right now working and the roads are a bitch. Perfect day to stay inside if you've got the vaycay time to burn. Stay high and tight mommies ^^

[@patricksullivan2322]

“When she called me back I new she wasn’t the one for me”😂😂😂😂😂

[@irishguy9187]

I spit up my beer when Tom said crack her in the knee 😂

[@Br_ittany1119]

I love all the tiny jeans stories.

[@Fred3209]

Tom literally had 2 clones of himself 🤣

[@gianni_schicchi]

@@Fred3209 true, he can’t even get mad at them cause they’re definitely just an extension of him it sounds like. 🙂

[@danicalaureeolson]

I love when Tims in a stupid silly mood. Him and Christine have the best back and forth then!

[@PlayNiceFolks]

Redbar Radio

[@tnntlmmn277]

he's regulating her mood

[@daveh4925]

@@PlayNiceFolks mike drop

[@HappyAppart]

These bots are getting better, they even watch the episodes and comment on human moods

[@dirtabd]

You must be a Barf Fatler fan to disrespect the Mommies that way in their turf?

[@boosterbrosllc4681]

Respect to Tom standing up for the short guys even tho he’s not a short guy, usually those kind of statements only come from short guys so it’s nice to hear it coming from an above average heighter, big ups to the mans

[@kenclarke5966]

A Hunnerd percent

[@ghandiman]

“I have good hang today!” *cuts to the boys all nodding in unison🤣🤣🤣 That killed me

[@beezo1764]

The office beef bit is fuckin hilarious!! They always start with "Ya, sooo um....." 😭👍

[@morticianjosh7116]

“Messenger of Sadness” should be Tinas new special title

[@zipherxlmx]

I hope you get .5% for your contribution

[@tprfk]

Harvester of Sorrow brah

[@LA-ly4hz]

@@tprfk different

[@mattsabeast5]

I never consider self deleting more than when I see her curations of r words struggling to grasp at reality.

[@morticianjosh7116]

@@mattsabeast5 I call them “forever 21s”

[@FidelAsstro762]

Going back a year to see Tom go from a ham steak to a beef cake is real nice 🤌

[@moongoddess647]

The sass these full grown men have for eachother. This is an awesome podcast episode

[@braydenrichardson994]

Enny reclaiming his power by dressing as Sriracha 💀🔥

[@TomAKAVeto]

I hope he just starts wearing a series of hot sauce tees. Tapatio, Cholula, Tobasco. Keep ‘em comin

[@unclemandragon5670]

@@TomAKAVeto Texas Pete babbbby

[@JrockAonR]

I think Christina’s “I’m sad” right before the beat drops in the theme song should be added, it fits so well 🤣

[@ajfiveohfour]

“This guys existence is to be drunk! Isn’t that crazy?! His whole life!” Says the guy best friends with Bruce Kreischer 😂😂

[@notimportant2693]

That song at the end was a fucking banger.

[@catbageler]

🔥🔥🔥

[@willammurashie7108]

You should check out the video

[@willammurashie7108]

I can't post a link apparently but the channel is The Alchemical Cocktail Lounge

[@cameronmoreno5493]

I’m stuck in the hospital recovering from a lung surgery...I’ve needed this episode so bad. The best medicine you can get.

[@bloodyredsin]

Get well soon and keep'm high and tight, greetings from Germany :-)

[@we_be_nerds3601]

Play that lung infection

[@seNor916x4]

How’d that lung injury happen if ya don’t mind?

[@brian728]

Did you use your lung infection as an instrument? 😏 Get well soon!

[@skeetinyoureye6484]

Don't laugh too hard gonna hurt your lung lol

[@bumbles910]

Never knew the Crayon pronunciation was a thing until I had a kid and she calls them Crowns. She’s going to be a Victoria Secret model for sure.

[@8thlvlMage]

You know what they say. If she ain't smart she better be pretty. [Insert gross old man laughter]

[@jess9787]

Ahhhhhahhahahahah this comment took me out 🤣

[@RolandSpecialSauce]

@@jess9787 are you dead? How'd you type a comment?

[@Matthewtaylorn]

"I could if I sat" is the name of a special.

[@CameronWinters]

19:50 is gold. “If I had more money, I don’t even know where I’d put it”

[@DrWeird-zw5dc]

She asks "What do i do?" (about the armadillo) Tom- "Finish him off" LOL

[@bootcornpolo6803]

I didn’t notice he said that at first 😂

[@johnnatt4875]

Christina looks so handsome with her hair pulled back.😍😍😍

[@zigwil153]

You mean the blonde that talks about her bleached hair like it’s natural while you can see her dark roots? Lol.

[@PlayNiceFolks]

I'm almost done, but. ScarsClib

[@BPB9973952]

she's a sturdy lady

[@robinsharkey6658]

To be honest I've thought about pulling her hair on more than one occasion.

[@ext93]

I'd "hand some" to her, I tell you hwat

[@breathlessinbedvlogs]

i love how nadiv's laugh is somehow louder when he's in the back of the room away from the mic

[@cotyparker1423]

Tim’s hate for margaritaville comes from him scared that jimmy willl take his best friend Brent Chrystals.

[@GrungyCrayons]

I’ve been having a rough past couple months, I just want to say thank you to all the mommies out there, you guys really are the best.

[@RetrospectWindow]

Life gets heavy or light, but we stay high and tight

[@craindrelescuillieres6629]

Hope things look up brother

[@fffraaankkk]

When life's got you down; touch a camera through the fence; it helps a lot of us; hot sauce is the best.

[@Goldenbaba430]

Hey, we are ok. Not as good as hot sauce.

[@erdnasiul87]

No, *hot souce is the best*

[@darkylinky288]

Tom and Christine seem to find clips "sad" when they can see part of themselves/empathize with the person in the clip. Tom feels sad for the socially awkward guys, and Christina is feeling sad for a woman who's around her age dealing with how people see her. Not that either of them thinks they're the same as the person in the clip, but there's some familiar bit that seems to hit them and triggers sadness imo

[@christopherwizzart1966]

Dude in the back is a human laugh track, he just laughs hysterically at literally anything

[@kevinfitzpatrick172]

“Dude in the back”?!? You must be new if you don’t know about Nadav!!

[@brandonkatona7734]

Enny's "Sup" into the camera shook me, he's so cool. And hot sauce IS the best.

[@ozvitkon_barkay4464]

I demand that our main mommies bring over Duncan Trussell for episode 666 that's coming up, there could not be a more fitting guest!!!

[@CrimsonTusk]

Yes! Duncan Trussell is the best! Better than hot sauce

[@xNiceGuyRobx]

Hot Sauce and Dunkin Truffles are the best, Mommy’s plz make this happen!👖👖👖

[@EddieShreddie]

He actually is gonna be in Austin during April for shows, so it’s possible

[@IDUZINTERNETS]

Yes!

[@Kristy-ns5bh]

Oh man I just rewatched the episode when he was on last time, I love that guys gravely voice and how good he can troll 💙 like for can keep up a narrative so well I almost can't tell if he is joking or not

[@f1dgeit189]

Loved how when Tom says "you know, those days where you got a good hang going?" and they pan to all the guys nodding along like hell yeah, we know exactly what you are talking about! hahah

[@Wildoddity]

i even nodded lmaao

[@BANDERSJR]

@@Wildoddity same…

[@timothycollier3807]

NGL, this episode made me realize that being a self conscious grower is apparently far more common than I realized.

[@johnnydeleon8210]

So fucking relatable, the other day reached down my boxers to adjust and the lad was hanging way lower and looser then usual and I was like why aren't you like this at all times smh

[@BANDERSJR]

Porn is super damaging. Someone should make a documentary about the fish eye lenses and the angles they use. Lots of those guys are above average but not massive. Some are legit clubs though.

[@chaddobish2465]

Just came from Tom's gig in Brooklyn. KILLED IT!!!!

[@DoctahWorm]

Thank you both for showing how two people can build each other up. I love you guys and hope lifes amazing!

[@adamd.6698]

New drinking game: take a shot every time Christina says “apropos”…..

[@sashathered582]

Thank you for teaching me how to spell that

[@roberteskew7320]

Only half as dangerous as the Bertus Interruptus game.

[@FWbaracuss]

It's even Better when she has no idea what the word means

[@gr9535]

@@FWbaracuss I was thinking she must have heard that word this week 🤣🤣

[@Ottophil]

Drink every time she says a word wrong on porpoise

[@CollateralDamage93]

Tom: i need to laugh Tom: shows video of someone getting wrekt by their Jeep

[@sagecowley6785]

This made me lol

[@josh199175]

Dude in the jeep just left margaritaville

[@Tha1leeG]

That shiiiiZz was SAVAGE!! do any of you think either the driver or the passenger survived !?

[@CollateralDamage93]

@@Tha1leeG yeah they hopefully gucci now!

[@blackhole.son94]

I was front end manager at a grocery store for a while and one of my opening cashiers had dentures at 40. Not only that, she would take them out and soak them after eating her lunch. Every day. She would start her shifts with teeth and by the time she would clock out and leave, they were in a cup… I miss you, Miss Honey 😂😂

[@jamesmason7979]

Nice to see that Ellis and Julian are already following in their parents' footsteps.

[@YourXBestXFriend]

hearing about your kids is always my favorite part of the podcast. idk why but they make me laugh so hard. you guys are great too I guess.

[@TheDavejmcknight]

When Mr. Segura laughs, uncontrollably....it's infectious!!

[@faperito2389]

That's because he laughs at the funny parts my man.

[@TheDavejmcknight]

@@faperito2389 Agreed

[@coldbrutalhonesty]

36:33 I'm 5ft 6. Thank you Tod for standing up for us, you are the real king 👑.

[@splatterbashpop]

love the hearty laugh of Patty in the back

[@Depodra]

I wanna see Will slap Garth

[@PlayNiceFolks]

Shhh

[@christianacosta3945]

*Slaps Garth *Is punched out by Chris Gaines

[@alexcoyg3281]

Hot Sauce is the best

[@BustaChimes]

Garth will put him in a low place

[@purplekermit2162]

Booooo

[@mikesearcy9151]

Went to the Tulsa show. Tommy Buns was awesome and loved seeing Geoff Tate for the first time. Amazing opener.

[@Bonestrewnband]

Tom’s wheezy laugh from smoking cigarettes is so cool

[@jmhova]

Love the long term story telling on the Chad vs. Chris feud. Hope to see a best of 7 series on this one.

[@bmoulton8844]

Obsessively refreshing YMH video playlist until a new one pops up..

[@NotProFishing]

For real I get to work before it drops and I'm constantly refreshing

[@Muttblood90]

Thanks for standing up for us short kings Tim 💪

[@WembaSami]

The excitement and vigor in Toms voice when he says "GARTH!" 2:38

[@cassierussell6281]

dude the clip where the concrete wall fell had me DYINGGG at work LMAOOOOOO

[@callumlawrence3263]

This podcast is easily the funniest shit out there. Even the guys in the back are legit hilarious and add so much to the show. Ive been watching for years and it just gets better

[@erikds6338]

Enny needs to represent with Cholula and that iconic wooden cap.

[@thecapricorn11]

valentina is the shit!

[@evanodaniel8666]

I LOVE THE OFFICE BEEF!! IM HERE FOR IT!!😂

[@jacksoncole372]

I like how the jeep video goes from the kid laughing to Tom laughing

[@nickpanacci3055]

In high school, my friend finger blasted his gf after eqting wings. She cried from the burning. 15 years later I still dont remeber her name. She is forever known as hot sauce.

[@PismotHello]

She was the best

[@ext93]

Next time I go down on a girl I'm busting out a bottle of my favorite habañero sauce just to spice things up a bit

[@8thlvlMage]

@@ext93 El Yucateco??

[@fruitgum9619]

Did he even wash his hands first? Ugh 😂😭 how awful

[@joemills8172]

First thing I wondered is how hot the wings were. Like regular buffalo wings or atomic wings? Looks like some soul searching is needed.

[@ryancapell4319]

I turned into a telescope when I saw those glasses

[@drxela123]

1:26:44 - Christina's nonchalant delivery here is wonderful.

[@kaseyict]

This is one of the best episodes they’ve done in a long time.

[@michaelelliott4357]

Every time the camera is on Tim, my eyes instantly go to the Sal Vulcano look-a-like cool guy and it blows my mind

[@bori1986]

🤣🤣🤣 I was telling myself is that Sal

[@ts9216]

The Benadryl guy behind tom looks like sal vulcano

[@DelightfulDissident]

Low and loose BABE! 😄

[@OlinKreutzRules]

If Native and Sal had a one night stand, this is what I would see.

[@PlayNiceFolks]

Redbar Radio

[@reportinglivefromhell222]

I love that the Irish dude has that Henny bottle as his candle holder😂

[@snarkycharlies]

"Everyone seems to happy" ahhh tom almost caught himself up. 😂

[@fekkacam]

LMAOO tom was actually so mad on Twitter the other night had me in tears lmao

[@Josh-ub1do]

I was so excited for YMH cos of that but then realised we probably a few weeks behind 😭

[@robertmcdonald3779]

What happened? I'm social media slow😞 aka an "r" word

[@dcost]

@@robertmcdonald3779 Will Smith slapped Chris Rock at the Oscars

[@nb-wp2qz]

Pretty surprised he didn't immediately call it out as staged. Especially being such a big wrestling fan, it was one of the worst worked-shoot's I've seen since Andy Kaufman and Jerry Lawler.

[@robertmcdonald3779]

@@dcost TY!

[@det.caribou7405]

Mommie Christine looking like Theranos founder during AD reads.

[@ENigma-um8zw]

*“(Low Voice) We here at Your Mom’s House are so excited to be redefining the paradigm of advertisement diagnoses and providing actionable commercial data that can save lives”*

[@patrickround2298]

Love how Christina is thrilled to talk about the guys she’s done the dirty with before Tommy, but once Tom lists the women he’s been with she wants to change the subject 😂😂😂😂

[@fruitgum9619]

Yeah, that's how it goes sometimes 😂

[@rapfreak7797]

Don’t start what you can’t finish

[@jebediahbrownmit]

"What did he score on the IQ test? 82. Hmm, that's not so high"

[@ApocalypseHere]

Thank you, Tom, for standing up for the short kings.

[@joshadams5709]

Can't wait to see G go all Pursuit of Slapiness on T Buns after he cracks a joke about Queen Trish.

[@dylanshort3063]

Tom has already said way worse things than Chris Rock did 😂

[@amandamarie740]

I wanna see the “teeth have teeth” girl bite an apple and see the imprint lol 😂

[@maxng7211]

I never noticed before, but in the background of the Donbas Cowboy video, you can see a soldier repeatedly trying and completely failing to close the door on the back of the vehicle

[@Wylde_Kyle]

Tom’s tweet had me dying, can’t wait to hear them discuss it on the show

[@samsonfpv8902]

Maybe in next months episode

[@die4race]

by then we will ( no pun intended ) all forget the incident

[@josef2012]

@@samsonfpv8902 lol

[@tracecify]

Can't wait? Better learn how, it's going to be weeks!

[@ragnarwest1452]

Watch todays episode of the Pat McAfee show, Tom was hilarious.

[@therobbrownchannel5079]

"Don't touch this, don't touch that, you're gonna die." Now these two get a glimpse of what it's like touring with Bland Klondike.

[@LandofEph]

Oh suck it up Christine. That jeep clip was hilarious!!

[@hv_fp8372]

The Margaritaville "would-you-rather" might be the funniest one yet.

[@hv_fp8372]

And I'm promptly traumatized by horrible or hilarious.

[@alexanderpeterson4283]

Taking a shit and hearing Christine say “pinch it off” was peak

[@ext93]

That phrase, and similarly "pinch a loaf" always disgusted me. You aren't supposed to pinch the dump off and leave some in there. It's supposed to be a normal consistency that slides right out and leaves you evacuated. Or a magma waterfall of burning pandemonium that just cleans you out

[@RichardStrong86]

10:05 Jesus. That's a really rough 41.

[@Nigel-McMagmus]

I gotta say, this was one of the funniest YMH episodes in a while. And I’d be sipping Pinot Noir in the margaritaville in case anyone was wondering

[@toddtrue3347]

I wanna see Tom truly lose it like Bert does when he starts choking and coughing

[@CanadianHeather]

“Can you make me blackout drunk right now please” 😂

[@grandmodesty]

Assuming we won't hear the GI Jane Hendawg song yet in this episode but here's hoping! LiveLife365

[@allafat]

Check Twitter, Tim has weighed in on the subject.

[@niteshade8546]

They are talking about st paddy's day. We won't hear about the slap until everyone forgets.

[@SethFortune]

@@niteshade8546 well yeah they record the episode like 2 weeks before they drop them

[@Amouroso]

@@allafat Bert also attempted to weigh in on the subject but broke the scale

[@RolandSpecialSauce]

@@SethFortune that's one of the great things about JRE. Rogan talked about it the next day. No prerecorded episodes 2 weeks after the fact.

[@gareyguzman4479]

@32:00 as a 5'6" engineer and race car driver, I appreciate the solid advice here. FYI, doesn't work on the apps....

[@andrewgaeth4433]

This episode is the reason why YMH has been my Wednesday therapist for years. #TeamChad #ChrisDontWantNoSmoke #HammerTheOverNative

[@StillFloating]

why is toms impression of his children always in a deeper voice lmao

[@arielsabrinadre2237]

I don’t know, but I love it so much

[@hypnosis4207]

I love how the YMH studio is such a family. Lol so fucking great

[@luar9110]

When Tom said I need to laugh I said the same thing when they kept talking about Margaritaville.

[@DustinRodriguez1_0]

'Last Mango in Paris' comes with a stick of butter.

[@darthnephilim]

Thank you for standing up for short kings Tom

[@just_a_turkey]

Enny making his nickname "hot sauce" is 200 IQ cuz now Tim can't play the soundbite without saying *he's* the best.

[@JesseKennedydrums]

Have Dr. Drew give the Stanford-Binet Test that tests reasoning, knowledge, quantitative reasoning, visual-spatial processing, and working memory. There’s a short version of the test on the website. 🙏🏻 Can’t wait!

[@hamishwinter1519]

So good to see Tom back on game, mommy must be hitting that scrum.. much love from Australia