7 Boundaries That Attract BETTER Men But REPEL Toxic Guys

[@BernMendez]

[Take My Free Quiz]: What's the #1 Reason You're Single: bit.ly/youresinglequiz

[@selmawillam7550]

A woman’s intuition is never wrong. There’s a lot of information here but I can’t remember all of them whilst dating..hence I’d prefer to follow how I feel in my body whilst also already underlying my beliefs, values, and what I need.

[@earth_and_spice]

@@selmawillam7550 this is a great tip and reminder. I'm needing reminders to feel, feel, feel because my mind talks me past red flags!!

[@CorporateQueen]

Thanks Bern. Been doing the work and been single for years, working on my self. Just met a really great conscious guy!

[@BernMendez]

So glad to hear that!

[@CorporateQueen]

​@@BernMendezYour videos have been part of it. Thank you. ❤

[@meetandinspire]

"Boundaries are not demands."

[@BernMendez]

Glad this was useful.

[@earth_and_spice]

Aha moment here, something I've been working out for a while, is that my desire to have boundaries and stick with them was contrary to the people pleasing, being a pleasant and flexible woman that culture trained me to be. I'm learning now.

[@Cookingcousin]

All of your videos are so calming, I love watching because it really feels like a virtual coaching session.

[@BernMendez]

Glad this was helpful.

[@Missmarymac012]

I grew up in the 80s and it seems like these came naturally to women once they decided they wanted to settle down. We did these without consciously knowing it.

[@Morgan313]

We didn’t have dating apps and video calls in the 1980s.

[@Rhjnkiitewsxbmlp]

Thank you SO MUCH for all this examples. Everybody is like “set boundaries” but for someone who has never set them and basically has neglected her needs all her life it’s really hard to know what that sounds like. I feel like now I have a map to help me navigate the dating scene after all this horrible years, I have been really depressed for this exact reason lately 😢🙏🏻 thank you again

[@pageremick5504]

You always share the most interesting things! Love these boundaries and you are right... this will show who is a serious contender for our attention, versus the player or self-centered guy. I'm bookmarking this till I make sure I have these instilled in myself! Thanks!

[@BernMendez]

Thank you for your kind words, Page : )

[@jeanettebrooks1963]

I am definitely subscribed to this useful information!

[@BernMendez]

Welcome aboard, glad you found this helpful.

[@donnagudalovic6617]

This is great info! I have learnt a few things by watching this and feel more comfortable about dating

[@reemsaif3105]

I love the video interview first :) powerful 🎉

[@melissagennis9744]

Thank you for the great tips ❤Love your videos. Really appreciate advise /help 💞

[@BernMendez]

You are so welcome, Melissa.

[@aceanyconcept337]

Great tips! Thanks for sharing

[@dandusudha2513]

The idea of non exclusivity to be mentioned is weird. If a man says this to me, I wouldn’t even want to go meet him for a talk.

[@BernMendez]

Why? What is wrong with expressing that you are open to dating other humans so that there are no misinterpreted expectations. Believe it or not, many guys think that once you go on a date with them, you will naturally drop all other connections to focus on him.

[@gemstar7447]

Being exclusive is my natural inclination but I see how that has not helped me 😅 And I get the concept of being open to getting to know other men at the early stages of dating coz yeah.. exclusivity is a kind of commitment..

[@earth_and_spice]

Why do you want to commit to someone you don't know? Why do you want someone to commit to you when they don't know you? What does having this be openly communicated mean to you?

[@gemstar7447]

I just didn’t see it as a commitment before. It’s just easier for me to get to know one person at a time. My brain can’t handle trying to get to know/make multiple connections/ dealing with multiple sources of information at once. It’s hard enough processing information from one source! 😅

[@dandusudha2513]

@@BernMendez Thanks for info. I meant this after a few times of meeting and the guy expressing intentions of marriage. I am not designed to talk to more than one at a time. I consider it immoral. Something says so. I try to get to know persons intentions and if he is serious of me and i find that atleast few basic things i look for are there in him, i would want to be excllusive too. But i learnt not to be emotionally invested because, guys tell lies constantly and may be he is doing the same thing he did withme with others too. Atleast in my case the man was narcissistic and perpetually lied and he repeated the same with 100 of women as far as i know. Before knowing that, he seemed all ok for me and he expressed too much interest in me and i wasnt knoiwng of narcissm then. Only after the lies, betrayal, i learnt something called narcissism. My conclusion is as long as the family is not involved, guys keep taking advantage of women emotionally atleast. In my case i was having strong boundaries physically but i trusted and got emotionally involved and trusted the man a lot.

[@Dorothy35]

Great tips ❤

[@BernMendez]

Glad you like them.

[@AlexandraTabares1]

Empathy

[@BernMendez]

Alexandra, thank you for watching.

[@run_eclipse]

What if they're good person, have same values and vision of relationship and family but we have different political views?

[@BernMendez]

Having different political views doesn’t need to be a dealbreaker however having a significant discrepancy in values (which sometimes is also reflected in political views) might be.

[@flopoirer6957]

Thank you❤️❤️❤️

[@janechapman7801]

Why are we calling people toxic instead of behaviour, how can we help them so that they don't feel so disconnected and therefore behave better towards others including us women.

[@BernMendez]

I agree the term toxic is often overused and too simplistic at the same time the Behaviors can be toxic and highly detrimental towards a good life. Additionally a Subject line with 150 characters that explains it all would not work for KZbin or perhaps even to catch your attention to watch this video. So point taken AND it's more complicated than it seems.

[@LinnLinnok-fe5tq]

It’s not our job to fix them. Weed out the trash and move on.

[@CorporateQueen]

Some people are toxic. Dated them.

[@janechapman7801]

@@LinnLinnok-fe5tq they need help from some source because clearly their not ready for a relationship yet other side we should all give up.

[@melissasmuse]

Fixing someone is not your job, it’s theirs.

[@carmenwalsh2924]

Thank u

[@Kashmir-lt4cx]

@7:13-7:24 well I heard that's when he will do all the right things til then.🙄

[@BernMendez]

Not sure what you mean. :)

[@Kashmir-lt4cx]

@@BernMendez like be 100% polite til the day.

[@DemiMalone]

😭😭I wish I came across this channel 10 years ago,am 29.

[@BernMendez]

You can benefit for the next 60 years of life still : )

[@lyndamcmullen5506]

❤❤❤❤

[@BernMendez]

Thank you : )

[@amandakropen3273]

Never married, no kids after 40 means RUN! Too inflexible.

[@CorporateQueen]

Not really. Some men put everything into their careers..and do it later. I've met.some lovely no kids single men.

[@BernMendez]

I agree with you : )

[@niewieder99]

@@BernMendezwait… do you agree with the OP or the second comment? 😮

[@dandusudha2513]

The opposite means sexually promiscous people. The best are single and not yet taken. They have patience to wait and have achieved a lot and matured a lot by this time of 40. The rest find someone so soon and do not know life lessons and cannot deal alone mostly. Are always looking out of marriage for find and pleasure.

[@amykirchmann8374]

I’m 39, single, no kids, female- so it’s not true… just haven’t been able to meet someone yet.

[@bloom7204]

First 😂

[@BernMendez]

Thanks for commenting!