the girl trying to be included lmfaooo "you making me wanna do that TOO"

The wreckage of my past is haunting me. It just won't leave me alone. I still find it all a mystery. Could it be a dream? Road to Nowhere leads to me. ~ Ozzy (1991)

We will deeply sympathize with you and we all have been there also understand what you are going through strongly encourage you to seek professional assistance I had to do it also had to get professional help also thank you for sharing your difficult and hardship hang in there and be safe and enjoy your day with much love 😽💕😻🙏❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Ashley, you should never say you are suicidal publicly because there are people who will call the police to have you hauled away to a psych ward. Modern psychiatry is not interested in helping people. They’re only interested in pumping people full of pills and numbing the pain. You need to meditate and develop a level of spiritual grounding inside yourself. You don't need a psychiatrist, you need God.

God bless, my dear.

The words every gay man wants their straight bestie to say 😂

Ms.Ashley. First of all, U are not even remotely close to being a looser. That word should not ever be even uttered from your mouth again. Secondly , you are very pretty, very smart, and lovingly sensitive. Anybody would be blessed by God to have you in their life. Distance yourself from toxic people, including parents who tell you to kill yourself. Seek God in your life and seek, safe deserving people to share life. You have your life and you are young. Embrace what I am saying.❤

Hairy pitsssss

Hope u fell better, Ashely.

PLEASE JUST BE YOURSELF AND BELIEVE IN WHO YOU ARE :-)

I dunno why youtube put this in my feed, but 8 years on I hope you're in a better place today 💖

❤

I remember Frankie from Big Brother. He was silly then. He is silly now.😂

Sorry to hear you were feeling like this back then. I can relate for sure. Hope your life has greatly improved since you made this video.

Why do you have a boyfriend if he ignores you men should respect women woman are important too women’s mental health is important too

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” ‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4‬:‭6‬-‭7‬ ‭NIV‬

What reactions do you expect? 1) they are trying top motivate you so you won't be depressed, it doesn't work, so 2) they are trying to get more information and find out what lead you to be in this state so they can help you, but you want an I don't know.. some reaction they have to guess what reaction of them will please you? And now you are accusing your parents that is their fault that they don't find your secret answer by overreacting and exaggerating, just to be a prick? I'll tell you what you are going thru, it's the hormonal revolution of being a teen, "I don't know what is going on, I'm so confused, everything seems so intense, I'm over reacting to everything!"

I just saw this vid , I really hope things are going much better for you . These stories all help all of us .

Ashley! I'm so pleased you survived the rain. 😆 I always worry about you when I hear of all these massive weather events hitting Florida. In the PNW, we always hear about how Mt. Rainier is going to wipe us all out, but I've been hearing that for 40 years, and that damn rock has barely squeaked a fart yet. My struggles? I'm 43, live with parents. It's expensive where I live, so I've just added to my savings over the years. I'm lucky I get to work full-time with a close buddy of mine. I have myotonia congenita, which is a neurological disorder affecting the muscles. Unlike most with the condition, I don't have any pain. I'm not/won't be in a wheelchair. My balance is shitty. As a result, I generally don't like going places, especially in groups and at unfamiliar locations. I hate high ceilings and crowds, as my body/muscles can go stiff if I'm startled or bumped. The car is my safe haven. I would have an easier time driving 3000 miles to your house than I would just walking through what's your guys' store...Publix? I recently got on Lexapro, and now, for the first time in my life, I'm doing better than most people I know, mentally. I'm single, but I don't mind. I don't do much, except chill and drive to see pretty scenery. Women don't like to be bored, and I have plenty of guitars to play. It all works out! For Halloween, I dressed up like KoRn. My workmates got a kick out of it. I have the Adidas tracksuit, and more importantly, thr Ibanez Universe green-dot 7-string guitar they use. 👌 Tonight, I got a Caramel Java Chip Blizzard to celebrate a surprise 3-day weekend. I'm feeling fairly happy, and that's ALL I have ever wanted for you, ever since I first saw you on KZbin--your separation anxiety video. I remember, because I found it about 10 years ago...searching "agoraphobia". I still have this hug that I've not been able to send. 10 years is a long time, but it goes by quickly in retrospect. You've always been a fighter, and you've inspired more than just me to keep going over the years. Thank you so much, and I speak for those who may be too shy to admit that you've helped them as well.

I don't think I've ever had agoraphobia per se, though whenever I get anxiety when out, then the immediate thought is how long until I get home. I just turned 31 and have never had a real job, so you've beat me there. I can drive in my own town fine, but haven't been to the nearest city (25 minutes) in a few years, though I went more than halfway two days in a row last weekend and was fine. I've had depersonalization for 11 years straight, though I did have some relief from it a week ago. Both of those are from doing a certain technique, I'll share it with you if things keep getting better. Other than that, it's good how you still have friends after all these years. I haven't had a real one in like a decade. Your videos are like the only ones I ever play at normal speed instead of double because they're so interesting. Since it's so rare to hear anyone that is so relatable, I can now see why people forge parasocial relationships with KZbinrs.

I have panic and anxiety, but never agoraphobia. I think you might have it worse than me. Your life sounds hard. Most days are bearable for me in terms of anxiety since I stopped working and socializing. I don’t go to events, even like birthday parties of family members. I’ve become scared of people cause they always get pissed off at me at some point. World seems more lonely as I have aged and become more solitary. Dad died a few years ago and sister moved out. Just me and my mom now. Scared of mom possibly dying and me being left alone with the anxiety. Also, don’t talk to my best friend anymore since he got pissed off and basically told me not to let the fear and anxiety affect me or something like that. I’ll never achieve anything and never find love again.

I must've watched 30 of your videos in the past week. This video isn't included since I know you weren't trying to be "on", but your videos are quite appealing in the way that your method of storytelling is entertaining while also accurately conveying the low emotions you feel. Most people can't be entertaining while "complaining". My life has been basically frozen since 2009, so I relate to a lot of what you say, though I won't bother with details unless you for some reason want to hear them. I've never been overweight, but eating bad food has been one of the only things I get any enjoyment out of during all these years, so even if you hate yourself for it, it makes perfect sense that you want any bit of pleasure you can get amidst your emotional suffering. I know you said your medication played a big part in it, so I know it's not all your fault. I know the rage and despondency that comes with wasting your youth. Watching the decline in looks that comes with time passing is a part of it, but a lot of it is feeling like your problems don't mean as much either. It's one thing to be a teen with all these problems with the mix of your parents being more involved by default as well as the hope of having the future for things to work themselves out and then 15 years later as everyone seemingly no longer cares. Do you ever watch your old videos and wish you still looked like that? Not that I look drastically different now, but when I look at pictures of me young, I just fill with sorrow. Youth seems like the only time worth living, so I'm always down about it. I get sad every time I watch one of your newer videos where you don't have teeth. I have yet to watch your explanation for how your real ones got into bad shape, which I will watch soon, but aside from wincing because it's one of my greatest fears, I just feel sad because it's not right or fair that that's something you had to experience. I know everyone adapts to their circumstances eventually, but it's hard to believe how you can be so seemingly cavalier about it. Anyways, your circumstances are obviously not good, but it's a good thing that this genre of videos is becoming more popular. It puts a humanizing touch on it now that more people are admitting how hard they're struggling. You should make more videos more often if you have anything to share.

I have agoraphobia and your video popped up in my feed days ago, so I subbed. No one ever understands it. I’m an older version of you, just without support and friends. Big hugs girl ❤

Hello and you don't know what anymore

Have you got a roof over your head Have you got food in your belly. You don't realize how good you have it do you? All you're doing is whining whining whining because you're a spoiled little girl!, wake up!??!!

Many of us want to end the pain, not unalive self. I feel your pain. It can seem unbearable sometimes. I tried to comment before and send you a video but I think it got deleted.

A romantic relationship can often bring out the vulnerable parts of us. We often may test our person. Fear of pain, rejection and abandonment. I've experienced it. The self-unaliving, the extreme vulnerable triggers, issues with therapy, therapists, being placated by the person involved. Oh😮. I feel it. I was thirty during one of the worst. I feel you. Thanks for your courageous, forthright share! ❤ Carol

I'm fifty-seven, I still struggle with agoraphobia. Some days are easier others are harder. Many people don't get it.

I hate people who say "Others have it worse than you", as if suffering was a pissing contest and only the top contenders get to express what they are going through.

My former girlfriend had that thing you have in your background the sun on the sheet i think these symbols are pagen representative of the devil, she got rid of it may i ask do you mess with tarot cards, etc would like to know, seems to me people who mess with these things attract demonic attention, get back to me if you can

🍄r the cure. Jesus is the answer and some Steely dan wouldn't hurt.

Hi Ashley! 💜 Thank you for sharing your vulnerability with your audience. A lot of people who struggle with SMI only get to feel less alone in the world by finding media like this, it's very important and very appreciated. I know that recovery from lifelong struggle is unintuitive and that not everybody who does gets help recovers, so I wanted to mention a less common treatment option for dire circumstances that can still be brought up to a doctor, since you mentioned lobotomies. Carrie Fisher (Princess Leia) battled mental illness her whole life and spoke highly about her experience with electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) and some others have credited it with saving their lives. I would encourage you to always choose life and to remember that there are always more options, even if it seems like there's not. We all have things to lose but the world would lose so much more without you.

I just want you to know you are loved. You are not mentally Ill. You are going through life like we all are. Maybe get rid of your boyfriend.

You need love...Jesus is the answer

Bless your sweet heart. I love you and hope you feel better in 2024

I too was denied social and emotional development because I had a narcissistic mother. Now in my mid 30's I still don't have the ability to enter the dating scene, though that doesn't mean I don't try or don't have the courage to experiment with just doing things. Everyone who did everything I was told not to do has gotten more than I have and it was because I respected my parents too much, thinking they cared or had my best interest at heart. I mean I love my parents right? Now my father doesn't talk to me, but I've never done drugs or crime. I've accomplished lots of things and when I try getting in a relationship, I'm told "what do you have to offer me", which implies they're not looking for a relationship. Till this day, my mother takes zero responsibility for anything. They're straight up narcissists. The older I get, the more I realize they're pieces of shit. People like you have so much value due to your honesty and self awareness.

Why can't I find another person like you

I love you. Im like you, intelligent. No matter the situation, medication is the last thing a human should take. If one needs modern meds, it should be for the least amount of time. Instead of going for the root cause, the health care no longer wants to heal, they want a customer, one who depends on return visits and the repeated monthly witchcraft based drugs.

lay off the drugs

no one cares about me, either. I'm used to it. just wander around alone for the most part. people only really care about things and material presence. there's no interest in connecting or talking. things come first.

This guy is hot🎉

After a certain age, the BPD thing isn't cute anymore. Smoking cigarettes could help with the emotional pain you feel in your heart.

Jobs can BE too cruel. Soo Many people say that WE all must follow the stuff of good or Jesus , but in reality they are Like the Guys WHO brought Jesus too the damn cross

Wow , u changed a Lot. Stay strong

Stay strong in this ugly , too tough world . I Wish u much luck

oh wow ur voice changed from the other video i saw called " i dont know anymore" o.o. u sounded super hot there!!!

Hi Ashley. I am sorry you are suffering so much. I am glad you are sharing it with us and letting this all out. There is a lot of hope for you, so don't despair. You can use some help and there is nothing wrong with this. You need to get aligned with the correct help and support. You need some medication momentarily. You need quality, cognitive therapy and you need to be supported by caring relatives and friends. You can do this, I know you can because I walked in your shoes. If you want to, maybe we can begin by getting to know each other through dm. I understand the pain your in and maybe we should try it at least. It's in your hands to reach out. I am here if you decide you want to get well.

I’m here for you I’ll be your friend you’re not alone

You seam like a very good person, from vids that i have watched. You Can Get ahold of me if you need to talk or chat or anything. I am A Dad Myself, and You remind me of My Youngest Daughter. She went thru Alot of the same. She is Now Married and Very happy with One Child Now.

and now it's October third, just like that...